My sister died today.........

[cancersucks]

After a long battle with colon cancer, my 52 year old sister died at 2:30pm today. Words cannot describe how I feel. I was blessed enough to be there when she passed and I was able to hold her and tell her I love her. Now, I just feel so lost. I cannot believe she is gone. We were supposed to grow old together. There were 3 of us kids but my brother died 12 years ago due to a massive heart attack at the age of 32. I don't know what I am going to do.

[mikesmum]

cancersucks - I am so sorry for your loss.  You got it right.....cancersucks...losing your siblings, sucks.

I lost a son 20 months ago (not from cancer).  There are still times when I wonder 'what am I going to do now".

It is so new and raw, losing your brother as well will brings a flood of emotion to the forefront.

This site is amazing for allowing you time, space and a voice to your grief, your feelings.  It helps to come here even if its just to read others postings.  Many help without actually being directed to you.  Visit other postings they may help.....

Never believe you are totally alone, though at times it seems no one will understand, how can they?  But be kind to yourself.  Afford yourself time. 

You said we were supposed to grow old together........I remember a similar thought when Mike died.  He to is one of three, and the one that was supposed to choose my 'aged home'.  He was supposed to visit me and make sure I had a supply of clean undies.  'what will I do without him?".....

For the past 20 months I have woken up and taken a breath.  I take one step at a time and if I need to I stop and rest. 

Take Care - Trudi

 

[diane1234]

Dear Person who lost her sister,

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Beloved older brother almost 2 yrs ago to a medical mishap. You are in the right place to share your feelings of loss openly w/ others who can relate & will accept you. I read the loss of Sibling thread for many months after Harvey died, before I could put into words my heartache(he was my only brother and my buddy). Thru sharing my feelings w/ other on that thread, I started the process of healing. Today I can say I am in a much better place & Harvey lives on in my heart every day that I take a breath. I honor his memory today and the tears don't come as often(I can laugh again at some of his antics we shared over my entire life). It's such a different walk; this grief walk. I never expected it and I've adjusted/ accepted it as each day passes. I hope you find some peace in here.

Blessings,

Diane

PS. my puppy is in the picture on the left. My Brother loved her & I dressed her as Yoda last Halloween in his Honor :-)

[jackiewitter]

cancersucks,

I am so very sorry for your loss and how alone and lost you must be feeling right now.  I have lost both my parents and my baby brother in the past 6 years and I know I felt as if I just wanted to melt away into nothing because without them I had absolutely no meaning.  Who do I call or cry to now? 

My thougths are with you and if you want someone to talk to they are here, there are so many of us that are alone now and this site has given so much hope.  It may not seem like it now, but it has taken time for me to get to a place where I can smile again and not feel guilty for smiling.  I carry the memory of my brother with me proudly.  It's almost as if I have him in a breast pocket close to my heart and I can take him with me on trips and sunsets and beaches.  I can take him out and let him see what I still see and I can still tell him how much I love him and how much he meant to me when we were together and I can tell him how much of him still exist because of the things that he taught me.  I hope that you can find that place and I urge you to be patient with yourself because it may not come quickly. 

My prayers are with you and if you would like to email me, my address is in my profile or you can send a private message via this site.  There are many here who are willing to listen and while advice is not in abundance, kindness and compassion is.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

[debandthebells]

I lost my sister 4 years and 2 months ago to a car accident.  I still feel pain in her loss everyday but now have been able to mix my loss with my gain.  My biggest fear was that everyone around me would forget.  What I mean by that is this:  We had a baby shower for my daughter this past weekend.  Since my sister's death I have worn her ring around my neck.  At the shower I wore another of her rings on my finger and one of her bracelets on my wrist.  I needed her to be with me on that day more than usual and that was the only way I could do it.  Near the end of the shower as I was sitting and watching everyone talking, my oldest daughter sat down next to me and said, "Are you missing someone today?"  Normally that comment would have made me cry, instead it made me happy.  They will remember her.  Love lives on.  The stabbing pain will ease to a dull ache if you just surround yourself with love. 

[jackiewitter]

debandthebells

I could not agree with you more.  For me that was one of the most painful parts of the grieving process.  I was so afraid that if I were happy, would that be fair to Jeff.  If I didn't not grieve then who would.  Would everyone forget him, his life was worth so much more than that.   It was so hard to try and explain to someone else.  One day I tried to tell my therapist that if I go forward, then how can I take him with me, it's as if I am leaving him behind.  She then told me how that made no sense, that I could not stay here with him because he was dead.  I angrily walked out but not before saying "yes, you are right, he is dead and so am I".  It has been so difficult to try to figure out how to continue on and still keep them close.  I am in my 3rd year and I feel like I am beginning to understand. 

I am sorry for your loss and I am happy for you that you daughter understands.  It has to make you feel proud.  Peace and blessings, Jackie