Members backyarder1 Posted January 24, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 I read this in one of the grief books I am reading and it reminded of something that Tom and I used to do from time to time. The books talks about a man and his wife who, during her terminal illness, would end every evening by talking about what their happy moment of the day was. Tom and I used to do a similar thing where we would take the time to talk about the best thing that happened to us each day. I know it is hard for us, during this time of grief, to find happy moments in the day, but I also think it would help us to do it. So, what was the best thing that happened to you today? What was your happy moment? I had to really think about it to come up with an answer but I would say, so far, the best thing that happened to me today was that I put all of my "chores" on hold and just relaxed with a good book. What about the rest of you? Can you think of a happy moment from today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austykatie Posted January 25, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2014 I think this is a great idea, we used to do it all the time at the dinner table! We would tell our high's and low's for the day! My high: My daughter told me I was pretty! Kids can sometimes bring your spirits up and they don't even know how! My low: My son was struggling from having a dream about Jim last night, I would give anything to have Jim in my dream! He got freaked out and had a rough day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted January 25, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2014 I can't say that this was a happy moment, but I had a truly great experience at the Labyrinth walk I did yesterday. The facilitators recommend that you repeat something while you walk. The labyrinth pattern and repetitive phrase create focus. I know that my Tom was with me every step of that walk. Tears were streaming down my cheeks throughout the walk but the tears were those of joy for having my Tom in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 25, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2014 That sounds like a great moment, Alone. Anytime I feel my Tom's presence with me is a happy moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted January 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 My happy moment today has been feeling my unborn son's hiccups all day! It's been a reminder that I still have a piece of Jared with me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 That is fantastic DarlingD. My happy moment today was spending time with my sister. We had a really nice day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted January 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 It is still to early to have a happy moment for today but yesterday my happy moment was definitely when a friend told me he would bring a crew over to my house next weekend to help clean up a mess and a half after a thunderstorm. And my pup...she has brought me more joy in the last 4 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 Oh yeah. Another happy moment yesterday. I fixed my garage door opener without having to call anyone for help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted January 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 That is definitely a happy BY!! I always feel so proud of myself when I do something that Jerry taught me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 Tom didn't teach me that, HeyJude. I had to get out the instruction manual and figure it out. But I did it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members llovern Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 My happy moment today was realizing that my granddaughter will be back tomorrow from an out of state visit to her other grandparents. Can't wait to see her. She is the light in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annie_ Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I was just able to record to my computer the voicemail message in my husband's voice from our phone! Now I can make as many copies as I want and not have to worry about it getting erased from the phone. If anyone else has special voicemails that are saved only on your phone you might want to do the same in case the phone is ever lost or your service provider does something that erases the messages. I used the Windows Media Player Sound Recorder with a USB headset/microphone (really, any computer microphone should work). It was really simple, click record, play the voicemail on speaker next to the mic, click stop recording, and save it with a file name. I'm so happy right now! I have three little recordings with his voicemail message from his work phone, cell phone, and our home phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 That's great Annie. I did that, too, when Tom first passed away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I had a day full of happy moments yesterday. It was just a great day. AND it was beautiful outside. Its a lot easier to have a happy day when it is sunny and 70+ degrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members julsgirl Posted February 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 i made pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream with my little grand daughter. she is the light in my life and keeps me going. she is almost 2 and i do not know how i would have gotten through the last few years without her. (it was 3 years last aug when i lost the love of my life) i have been reading through some of the posts here and there are some great suggestions and beautiful words of encouragement. thank you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 My happy moment was that I went to a meetup group for people who wanted to learn woodworking. I used to dabble in woodworking a long time ago but hadn't done much of it sense I was with Tom. He was so much better at things like that then I was, so it was usually easier to just let him do things. But I had a nice time yesterday with a small group of interesting people while one of them shared some of his woodworking skills with us. Today, I think I might go to an art show. Yes, I'll probably go alone but I don't mind doing that alone. I am open and receptive to all kinds of wonderful things happening today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 This is a strange happy moment but here goes.One of my sister-in-laws is hospitalized with heart failure. I'm not that close to her but I went to visit her anyway. We talked honestly and openly about facing death. The happy part was the huge hug she gave me as she said that it was such a relief to share her thoughts about death with someone. No one else wants to hear these things. I was happy I could help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pastors widow Posted February 3, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 My happy moment yesterday (too soon for today) was when I was hurting and crying, my Lab Tank started whining with me and came to me just to be there for me. He's my support buddy. We grieve together and I am so grateful to have him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lost&alone Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 My happy moment for today is a bit unusual. The infectious disease doctor that was taking care of my husband in the hospital called today with the final autopsy results. Since his death I have had a lot of "what ifs" that maybe something different could have been done to save him. The autopsy did not show a definite cause of death, I guess it was just his time. That may not be a comfort to many people but it helped me. The strange thing about the phone call was that just hearing the doctor's voice was comforting, it took me back to the 2 months that I spent in the hospital with Terry. If I closed my eyes I could pretend that we were still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 lost&alone - I had a similar reaction when doctors called me after my Tom passed away. You get to know the medical staff so very well and they can seem like your number one support while you're battling. I think I grieved the loss of many of the people that cared for my Tom after all the medical needs ended. My Tom's oncologist came to me about an hour after my Tom passed. This doctor told me that the plan had been to tell us that day that my Tom's cancer was back and that all treatment except palliative care would be withdrawn. This doctor estimated that my Tom would have only lasted 24 to 72 hours in palliative/hospice care. In a way, I was glad that an infection caused my Tom's death as he was a fighter and would never have accepted that there was nothing more to be done. With the infection, my warrior husband died fighting. The fact that my Tom was never told that all was lost brings me comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I had a happy moment today! My dad ha not been at all supportive of my keeping the baby! He wants me to do adoption so badly! Today he say next to me on the couch and said, "you've been though a lot, I'm so sorry! If you qanat to keep the baby I understand! It's your life, your choice! I'm gonna support you in any way I can! I'm actually excited to be a grandpa!" He then put his hand on my belly and felt the baby kick for the fist time, he's never done it before! Made me happy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Sry for my typos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 DarlingD95 - I'm so happy for you and your parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members obakesan Posted February 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 My happy moments come when I am out skiing in the lake. I look around at the beauty and think that enjoying this is her ongoing gift to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingDaniel Posted February 5, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 My happy moment today was walking out my door this morning and getting into MY car and DRIVING it to work for myself. I have been riding the bus for 4 years because of various issues, and both Daniel and I had been struggling with having to get around without being able to drive for so long. It was a source of so much frustration for him, and he would be so proud that I have finally gotten all of the issues worked out to become licensed and insured again, and even bought a car. It was a wonderful feeling, and the newfound freedom to go where I want and take my girls places will be wonderful. But it was tempered with sadness that he is not here to share it with and go places with. But I know that somehow he sees and he is happy for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 My happy moment today was that I went to a Sit and Stitch group. It is just a place for women to get together and sit and knit, crochet or do other needle crafts but it was a great group of women and I really enjoyed getting out and being with people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annie_ Posted February 6, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 For three weeks now I've had a list of recommendations of people to call for doing yard work/upkeep. I knew I needed to just call down the list and try to get something arranged, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sounds like a little thing, but the yard was my husband's passion and stress relief so having to ask someone else to do it just makes it more real to me that he is not here anymore. Today, I finally did it! I called everyone on the list (had to leave messages with most), but I feel like I actually accomplished something by taking the first step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 So happy for you, Annie. I'm not really sure what I could count as a happy moment today. I'll have to put some thought into that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 7, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Okay. This was my happy moment today. All I can come up with. Sheldon kissed Amy and liked it. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted February 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Okay. This was my happy moment today. All I can come up with. Sheldon kissed Amy and liked it.:-)Haha that was great! My happy moment today: I drove by the local Harley shop without breaking down! It always drives me nuts cause Jared died ridding his hog! But today it didn't make me crazy seeing the bikes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members traveler1959 Posted February 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Okay. This was my happy moment today. All I can come up with. Sheldon kissed Amy and liked it.:-)LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2014 My happy moment today was lunch with my sister and her husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted February 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2014 My happy moment today was that I got to pump breast milk for my son's feeding tube! It the thing I can do to help him right now and it makes me so proud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted February 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 That is awesome Darling!!! Just sitting with him and talking to him helps more than you'll ever know. He knows your voice. Sweet little baby...he is so cute!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annie_ Posted February 22, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 I was finally able to sleep last night! Tylenol PM and for the first time in a little over two months I was able to sleep without being restless and waking up constantly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 Today was the anniversary of the day I met Tom so I made this rustic bench out of some of his old lumber and his tools. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annie_ Posted February 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 That is a really cool way to remember Tom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members traveler1959 Posted February 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 You done a great job building it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarlingD95 Posted February 24, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Happy moment today: KANGAROO CARE!!!!!! That's enough to make me happy for days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted March 20, 2014 Members Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 DarlingD95 - I have been thinking about you and little JW. How is he doing? If you can please drop us a line and let us know how you both are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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