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Needed to share


mattdyer2

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I lost my mother (56 years old) less than two weeks ago, and I've been reading a number of ways to deal with the seven (others say five) stages of grief. I am a writer so jotting down my thoughts should come easily — and hopefully provide some relief. I was my mother's only child, and my parents are divorced, so I had to put her funeral together over the past week.

 

While she wasn’t exactly 100 percent healthy, her death did come as a surprise. She also battled financial problems throughout her life, so her passing also left a large paper trail. I also became a pillar of strength for her friends and my father, despite their relationship ending a number of years ago. Needless to say, the stress of the situation came to pass during her service as I experienced a spell of anxiety for the first time in my life.

 

A number of people in her life, including myself, attempted to help her with her health and financial problems, but her aforementioned issues were never resolved. She spoke often about what she wanted for her funeral after she passed away, and, despite the fact nothing was ever put into writing, I feel confident I did everything possible to honor her wishes.

 

Her passing hasn’t inspired pity or guilt, but, of course, I wish I could have done more for my mother — who wouldn’t in retrospect?

 

Since her service, I have made a commitment to myself to deal with the grief of her passing properly rather than fill up my days with routine and routine only. Simply put, I don’t want to ignore her passing, especially after experiencing anxiety, which I don’t care to go through again. Frightening stuff, really.

 

It goes without saying, I will always miss her and carry a heavy heart. But, I wanted to share my feelings with a different audience outside my immediate family.

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missingpieces

I'm so sorry for your loss. Anxiety is often a symptom of bottling things up. Take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to be selfish and just say enough I need to work on me. My wishes for peace and courage as you work through the stages of grief. Just so you know there is a wonderful chatroom on here. All of the peoplr I've chatted with have been wonderful helpful peopl

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Dosh Garnett

I am sorry for this loss. I also just lost my mom on Dec 14th. It's a very strange place to be, at the start of a grieving process. Emotions are never logical and some days are good, some bad. I think that I understand what you are saying about filling your days up with routine or, rather, not filling them up and taking proper time to grieve. I am expericing this as well. It's really hard to let go of what I feel is my responsibility to work, my partner and friends to grieve and I'm never sure if I am taking enough time. One of the things that I said to my friends was that perhaps this was one of my mom's last gifts was to slow down and take time for myself. I've never been too good at this but now I guess is the time for all of us to slow down and reconnect with ourselves.

 

Again, I hope that you are holding up and able to feel as if you are coping. It sounds like you are on the right road but I think this can be a twisted road. This is also why I joined this group, to connect with others who may be experiencing the same things. Peace to you.

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