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      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Guest Guest   
Guest Guest

Um, my abusive dad just died a month ago and i am trying to find anybody in the world to relate to about how confusing and alienating this is. The rest of my family are all together. I have not been a part of the family for many many years. Anyways, just looking for something to hold onto while i am completely dissociated from myself. I hope you are all okay!

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Guest Guest   
Guest Guest

My Mother died in Feb. afer being in a ursing home for 6 years - due to a major stroke which paralized her on the right side and she could not talk. My Father blames me for not moving back home to take care of HIM. DH and I offered many times for him to come and live with us, but he smokes and does not want to give it up. DH has asthma, so smoking is not an option in our house. I go back at least twice a month and keep in contact almost every day, but Dad does not feel this is good enough.Anyway, a second cousin had been \"helping\" him out recently. At one point she and her husband/kids were going to move into Dad\'s house, rent & expense free, to \"take\" care of him. This almost happened except that I told Dad he needed to get a legal document stating that this \"Cousin\" was not getting the house or property, etc. Once that was brought up, the Cousin decided it was not something she wanted to do. I think that gives the best pic. of what is going on.

Anyway, she occasionally does things for my Dad but he always pays her. He gave her his car when he bought a new one. She was going to pay him, but that has never happened.

As time has gone by she is getting my Dad to belive that he can\'t cope or do anything without her approval. I find this distressing, but Dad says he \"needs her because she is close by\".

While my Mother was in the hospital/hospice, this Cousin comes in and telle me that SHE will be the one to take care of the funeral arrangements, call the funeral home and buy my Mother\'s burial clothes! This she states loudly right in front of my dying Mother who is still alive and can hear all of this. Shocked? You bet. DH and I told her, quietly but firmly, that this was not the time or place to be talking about such things and that my brother and I would take care of them. This didn\'t stop her and DH took her arm and escorted her from the room telling her to watch what she was saying in front of my Mother (who was in a comma type condition, but the hospice people told us all to be careful about what we say as she could still hear. Cousin was well aware of that as she showed up for the meeting with the hospice worker when Mom went into hospice care (SIL told her of time etc., but that is a whole other matter)

As it turns out, Cousin runs to my father and tells him how badly I treated her. Dad tells me I have to let her do all these rights of grieving because he doesn\'t want her feelings to be hurt. I can't even begin to express how terrible this made me feel. As the only daughter, I wanted to help pick out Mom's burial clothes, but I was now pushed out.

Also, anytime I tried to do something, get out a picture of Mom for the funeral home for instance; my Dad would yell at me and tell me to let the cousin do it. What the heck was going on.

My Mother passed away and my Father couldn\'t even be there...he was too busy doing laundry (so he said) and Cousin was calling the nursing station ever hour to see if Mom was still alive. THIS while I was sitting in the room, talking to my Mom, singing, telling her about various good times we all had, funny instances.

I ended up having a hysterical break down and had to be medicated and couldn't attend the funeral. After I had the emotional break down not ONE of my broher's or even my Father bothered to call me. In fact, my Father never even let me know the funeral details....nor did anyone else, DH called them to tell them that I had been given medication, and to let us know. No one did. BUT, the day AFTER the funeral, my Father calls up looking for me. I won't speak to him. DH told him that his actions towards me were wrong. That I was his daughter, that I was falling apart and all he could worry about was the Cousin, the Cousin's feelings and that the Cousin should make all decisions.

Needless to say, I feel very isolated and alienated at this. DH and I have been to the grave site. When I went back down this month I found the head stone in place. I was told that the "family" had had a ceremony when it was placed. I was never informed of anything.

I want to say one more thing about this Cousin and my Dad. Seems a lot of things are and have been disappearing out of the house. Now, DH and I are getting ready to retire and downsizing oruselves so we are not looking for any of the furniture, etc. But that has been disappearing. AND, my Father has accused me of taking things. I have taken NOTHING from the house. I would never do such a thing. Before Mom died, when I was at my Dad's I noticed that her dresser set was gone. Several antique items have also disappeared.

I am really hurting from being pushed out of the funeral for my Mother. And I am also hurt by my Father's accusations that I am theiving from him. I am not! What I am concerned about is this cousin who seems to have him believeing that she is the only one that can do anything for him. And what she does do she always expects to be paid for.

When my Mother was first taken to the hospital from the nursing home, this Cousin called me from my Dad's. I asked to speak with my Dad and she refused to let me! The Cousin told me that it wasn't necessary for me to come down to the hospital...SHE would let me know what was going on. I had to call my Dad on his cell phone to get through to him, as she kept answering the house phone when I called back refusing to let me talk to my Father. He tells me that she didn't do this "Why would she do that" he says.

Now a bit more about this Cousin. She only showed up on the scene about a year before my Mom had the stroke. My Mother, a very good hearted woman, felt sorry for her and her children and would help them out by giving them money (bad move). My Mother had inherited a very sizeable estate and the Cousin was zeroing in on it. You know, like all the relatives that come out of the woodwork when someone wins the lotto.

Since Mom's stoke she has been preying on Dad, as I said about the house. My Mother gave her money for a down payment on a home years ago and I find it interesting that she does not want my Father to go live in that house with her; but wants to move into his house. Dad would be paying for utilities, food, etc. Her expenses would be 0. And she would be bringing in her husband and 3 children.

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Guest Guest   
Guest Guest

As for my brother and his wife, after my Mother passed, we went to the nursing home....I wanted to get her glasses for the funeral director. All this Cousin and my SIL could talk about was getting the funeral over with. SIL didn't want my brother to have to take any vacation time....she didn't want to waste the vacation days on this. Imagine! I could not believe what I was hearing from these ghouls.

SIL was concerned there might be a delay because I have another brother that lives in Europe who would be coming back for the funeral so she was afraid that it might take longer than her husband's 3 day funeral leave. Heaven forbid he should waste a vacation day when they could be at their trailer down by Starve Rock, IL.

At the nursing home, the Cousin was ramsacking through my Mother's clothes and things I had given her and taking them! Until I put a stop to it. This cousin was no better than a grave-digging ghoul, she was looking for my Mother's wedding bands.

I was totally appalled by the insensitive behavior by one who, in front of my Father, acted so caring and behind his back was diggin around for what she could find. When I mentioned this to my Father, he called me a liar. THAT I am not.

I am wondering if there is anyway I can protect my Father from this Cousin. I can tell that I would have loved to have my Mother's dresser set...it was comething I used many times growing up and even before I got married, I was in her room using her comb and brush...it has great meaning to me.

DH says I might want to puruse eBay to see if anything from the house is showing up there. Some of the fine china, figurines, silver. Lots is disappearing.

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Guest Guest   
Guest Guest

I know I did right by my Mother. Sure, I would have loved to move her to a nursing home closer to me. My Father wanted me to quite my job and come and take care of him. He told me that I could go back home on the weekends to spend time with my husban! Imagine!

I am very angry at how my Father treated me at the time of my Mother's death and how he pushed me out of being a participant in the final rites for my Mother. When I tried to explain this to him a few months back he told me that the Cousin said I told her I didn't want to be involved. I was furious and said that was not so, and I would call her a liar to her face. Unfortunately, my Father sides with her - as he told me - he needs her, she does things for him.

My brother likes the Cousin because, as he says, if she wasn't there HE would have to do something. Imagine! What an attitude. And here I am. I use to run down there 500 miles one way, twice a month. I also have a full time job so this was pretty demanding, but I did it because I wanted to see my Mom in the nursing home and also my Dad, and to check to be sure that he was okay.

Oh, and the Gold-Digging Cousin really didn't get interested in my Father until she came up with the idea of moving into his house. As I said, my parents gave her money for a home several years back. Of course, what she has is no where near the kind of home my parents have....and that is what this Cousin had/has her eyes on.

I am angry that my Father would blame me for things missing. I am angry that my Father would, at times, tell me to take things and then take them back because he "doesn't want my brother to get upset because he gave me something". I always felt that nothing of my Mother's shoud ever go out of the home while she was alive. That even though she was in a nursing home those items were still hers. And I feel the samething about all the things in the house....that they are my Father's and should not disappear as they are doing.

I personally think that he might know where the stuff is going, but because he feels he is so dependent on this Cousin, he is afraid to say anything to her. That also concerns me. I know I am not right next door, but as I said, I do my best.

Unfortunately, now, after the way he has treated me I want no more to do with him. I even told him that one of these days he was going to have to answer to my Mother as to why he was treating me as he was.

It is just sad to see this man being riped off by a gol-digging Cousin. Unfortunately, it happens all the time. Her type finds someone elderly or dependent and then moves in on them. I will tell you that several years back this Cousin's father told me to watch out for her. Her own Father, who also has money, won't give her a dime.

Okey, so my exact problem is that everytime I think of and start grieving for my Mother; I think about my Father and what he did to me and I get so angry and upset. I don't know how to handle this.

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Dear Guest, I'm so sorry your grief in losing your mother is so coumpounded and seemingly impossible in your current situation with your father, and the lack of support from your brother. I have no words of wisdom, just compassion and heartfelt pain for your loss and continuing anguish.

Have you consulted with an attorney?

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petesgrl   

I haven't posted her before, so I hope I'm doing it right. I have 6 children and a husband who is the stepfather to all 6. On March 16ht 2007 my mother passed away after Mets of breast cancer, this was very traumatic to the whole family. My moms death was most difficult for my 25 year old son who lived out of state. My son came in from arkansas to ny for moms funeral and was able to visit with all of his aunts, uncles, cousins and 5 siblings that he hadn't seen in about 4 years. On June 7, 2007 my son died in a motorcycle accident, back in arkansas. I flew him home to join his family one last time on this earth. I feel like my children and myself are starting to get very resentful of my husband. Is this normal?

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Dear Petesgrl, Lashing out in the anger pert of grief is normal, but obviously not healthy. For your husband, he may feel like everyone is ganging up on him. I do feel for him in that situation. But I feel for you too. I lost my 24 year old son last year, and it's indescribeable what that means, but I'm sure you can relate to that. It's early in yoru grief for you, and coming on the heals of losing your mother, you barely have had time to grieve on significant loss when laong came the unthinkable loss--your child. I lashed out toward my husband too. But in time I became very aware that my husband completes me. I can't imagine my life without him. While I distanced myself for a time emotionally, I had to work hard at reminding myself that it is not his fault either. And he is a gift to me, to my life, one that I cherish. Sometimes our children respond in certain ways as a result of how we are responding to our own pain and grief. They too are grieving a terrible loss. And though it's excruciatingly hard for us, we do set the pace in our household as a leader, as an example for them. It's a huge responsibility, but one we accepted with love when we bore our children. Being open with each other and talking through feelings is always helpful, being able to express openly the good, bad and ugly emotions we are feeling. One of the biggest challenges is to not let the circumstances of our lives control us and move us into darkness and despair, or vengeful actions. I prayed a lot through my time of ugliness, and I am thankful it was short lived to a few months. But I know those few months seemed like and eternity for my husband. I misunderstood his way of grieving as it was different than mine, more quiet. But the reality was he wasn't just grieving for my son. He was also grieving for ME. He hurt because I was hurting so badly. When I relaized that, truly, I was able to look at him differently and see just how much he loved me. Now I feel like I've fallen in love with him all over again. To me that was a miracle, how I got to that place from the depths of where I was in my pain. I hope and pray you too are able to rise out of the anger and resentment toward your husband and realize that he is there with you to walk with you, and to love you no matter what. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how terribly difficult and painful it is... HUGS, Claudia

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sidvis   

Dear Petesgrl, what a horrible time for your family! To suffer the losses of loved ones so close together is very tragic. All of you must be in a state of shock. Anger is very much a part of grief, so it is normal to feel resentment towards your husband. There are many forums on this web-site that will allow you to express all of your emotions and feelings without worry of upsetting anyone. All who post here are grieving like you and will understand. Posting here has helped me so much. I really don't have much to add, but I just wanted you to know I read your post and hope you will continue to come here or on other forums because there will always be someone who will respond. Talking is healing.

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missque   

I know that I may not have the same type of difficult background as many of you. However when I was only 15 my dad died and being only 22 and having to endure the death of my boyfriend its all very hard to take in. Having gone through it once before is making this time around so much harder.I used to say things happen for a reason theres a reason my dad died I tried to find good in it but I cant now. I feel like I cant say things happen for a reason because no one has had to go through this once let alone twice at my age. I feel like my grief would be so much easier if I hadn't already done this before.

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sheela   

(i was on american singles and then another singles site)

i have had several people be rude to me there and on another singles site as well, they are so rude when they decide that they do or do not like you they just block you and then close the window.. very rude ..

also last night my sister broke into some accounts of mine and changed all the  passwords and thought it was real funny well it wasnt, i thought someone had hacked my account and i had to call the bank to put a stop on my card's etc

it was a bit funny at all i am near tears as i tell you all this - she is on drugs bad but thats no excuse she has a computer where she lives and she somehow did that way, i have since changed all my passwords etc and the security question too..

still though i am grieving and am having such a hard time right now i dont need that little joke to be played on me..

i just feel like crying i am having such a bad last few days and then this all..my mom died last June the 6th from CHF and lung failure in our apt. my mom and i lived together our whole lives and never lived with any one else. i took care of her with help from home care hospice. she died at home with just me there. i miss her so much i feel so alone all the time it seems. and when i try to meet some guys or girls on the singles site's it just seems all in vain. i try to meet girls there as friends and it doesnt work either. then i try to meet a cute guy or two and nothing at all happens. i am so sick of being sick and tired. i am so lonely. i go to church on sundays but that only helps me a little bit. then when i leave there i am all alone again. i am exhausted from the let down of it all.

also i am waiting for legal aid to call me bc of a property matter that is being made worse by my moms one greedy sister and by a greedy half sister. so overwhelmed right now..

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Hi there.  I read your post.  And you are right, you are too young to have to deal with this.  But you are not alone.  My niece who is only 15 and adorabley sweet lost her grandmother (my mom) when she was 8 and a few months later, she lost her dad (my brother).  A couple of years afterword, she lost her other grandmother and then her grandmothers' sister with whom she was very close.  She is now only 15 and has her mom, me and a cousin.  I am afraid for her.  I do not understand how to keep her safe from more trama when I am barely able to keep ME sane.  She is so sweet and innocent.  It's very hard to know that she may lose another, then another.  And I don't know the answers.  But I am writing to get this off my chest and to share with you that you are not alone.  I hope it helps you to know this...  Take care and I am so very sorry to hear of your losses. 

 

 

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aurora   

Jilly, your niece is so young to have endured so much loss and trauma. Maybe you can find a good counselor who helps teens so they don't repress their grief and it comes back to bite them later in life.

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I know what you feel like. I come from a very dysfunctional, emotionally warped family. My Dad gets mad if I hug him too long!! When my Mom died this past March 27th, all my 2 oldest sisters (and 1 niece), wanted were her material things. Since I had in the past been visiting Mom at the nursing home on a regular basis, I had all of her music boxes. My Dad had given me permission to take them, so I could play them for her when I went to visit. (For the past 1 1/2 years, she had been suffering from Alzheimer's.). I thought maybe if I brought in something she recongnized, that it could snap her out of it. Now, all my 2 sisters (and niece) do, is to b*tch to my Dad of how "Marie has all the music boxes". When my Mom was in the nursing home all this time, my oldest 2 sisters hardly ever even visited her. My Dad did, everyday. I live an hour from the nursing home where she resided. I tried to make it there at least on a every weekend basis. However, I am in the midst of a divorce, am living off of financial aid, and also in a child support dispute with my ex. So, the last time I had seen my Mom was  this Christmas. I had been planning on seeing her as the weather warmed up, and then I usually took her outside in her chair for a walk.  My one sister lived right across the street. They did not even have the decency to speak at her funeral. They blame her (and my Dad), for their screwed-up childhood, and carry resentment with them to this day. I don't want anything to do with them. Me and my other sister are broke, and all the other 2 sisters can do, is to always bring up how they are planning to go to Hawaii (for about the 2nd or 3rd time in 3 years). It makes me wanta puke. If someone tells you that they can barely afford the money for gas anywhere, then don't bring up that cr*p!! My niece actually approached me after my Mom's funeral, and asked me for something of hers. My jaw dropped. She also had the nerve to try and invite me to her kid's birthday party or communion party (something like that).  This is from a person who never acknowledges my kids, or my family. I, of course, didn't go, because materialistic people make me wanta barf. I know that the only reason she was asking or inviting me to go, was to get something from me. My Mom and Dad raised my oldest sister's 2 oldest kids (one of them the niece). The whole time that my niece was married to her first husband (she is on #2), she ignored my Mom & Dad. Then, 5 years ago, when her & her husband were in the middle of a divorce and she was broke, then she showed up at my Dad's with her hands out. I told my Dad to tell her to go f**k off. Since he is a strict catholic, he did the opposite. She then turned around and proceeded to complain about the quality of the second hand car he had bought her!! I cannot deal with people such as this in my family. I really can feel where you are coming from. HAng in there. It'll get better. Believe me, I KNOW WHAT U FEEL LIKE. GOOD LUCK.:?

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sheela   

student mom i so know how you feel all of my moms family is the exact same way except for one aunt.. all the rest are just morons.. i never knew any of dads family so i dont know about them at all how they are -- he was a only child.. i found a great guy on moco space and he is living with me -  i am so happy to not be alone any longer -- just wanted to let you all know that things are better- hope every one is doing ok as well -

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(a poem by me, 2-17-09)

You still go to read to her

Three times a day

don’t you know that it’s not her

It’s only her grave?

You decorate her maple tree

You even bring her cake.

Is this how I’m supposed to grieve?

I ask you now for her sake:

Please enjoy your children;

Don’t take them for granted.

Please enjoy your grandchildren.

Is my opinion slanted?

Is my grief less real

Because I wasn’t yet his wife?

Should I not feel

Since she was taken from my life?

I don’t ask that you erase

Her from your minds.

I ask for you to just taste

The joy you have left and be kind

To yourselves and those you hold dear

Keep this in mind:

For she wouldn’t want any less.

She would want us happy

For she is at her rest.

You decorate her gravesite

for every day, especially holidays

Our LeAnn was too kind

she wouldn't want it that way.

Please enjoy your children;

While they're still living

Please enjoy your grandchildren.

Love - not money - is what you should be giving.

Money will not bring her back.

This is the knowledge that you lack.

I don't want to appear non-understanding decorating for her birthday and such but they have taken it to the extreme. There is absolutely no room left over for anyone else to bring her flowers or anything else to kindly pay her homage. Year-round, within a LITERAL twenty foot radius around the grave site there is no room to put anything else there, and it has only progressed more profoundly in the last 4 years. They have planted a maple tree which they put ornaments on, they have lit up ornaments, they have toys, they have cake, they have candy, they have plaques, they have stuffed animals, backpacks, candles, and so much more that I can't even begin to explain the enormity of what is present at the gravesite. Maybe I should post pictures sometimes. It has come to feel almost like a circus. The poem was written not out of heartlessness, and not because I don't understand their pain. My poem was written just as a plea - that I have not shared with them, because it was just a kinda bloggy venty kind of purging inspiration - that perhaps God can help them to love the four grand children they have, and to love the two children they have. Besides that, I would think it would be rather cathartic for other people who are missing her to have room to maybe place some flowers there for her, or water some nice little flowers for her, instead of trying not to step in food or on whatever little trinkets and my little ponies, etc.,.

She was the only child we ever wanted and she was perfect, and we try to hold onto every memory that we can of hers, but we understand that she would want us to be happy. I recently found out that I can't have children and we don't have money to adopt so that one little step-kid was all I had. That is a grief in itself to know we will probably never have another child to share our life with. We have two cats we love like children but it's honestly not the same because there are different expectations we have for humans - like that they will live for a long time and evolve in ways cats don't. The grandparents have two children and four grandchildren living in the house with them so I'm trying to be understanding of their grief, but I see all this family they have - while mine drops off like flies - and I can't help but feel they're ungrateful and I truly wish they could appreciate what they have.

I understand the loss of a grandparent is different and I don't want them NOT to grieve, I just wish they would be able to maybe edit it a little bit. Maybe even go down from 20 feet to maybe 10 feet, and then maybe a few years from now, go down a little bit more, instead of starting out with 1 foot, and going almost immediately to twenty feet - and changing the stuff that's out there all the time. I feel bad for them. It's almost as if they're missing her more now then ever. Is that a lot to ask that I don't want anyone to hurt that bad anymore over it? To think the gravesite should be a place that's healing for more people than just those two people? Is it selfish to want to be able to have room to kneel in front of her grave, look at her picture which is engraved in the headstone, talk to her for a few minutes when I'm able, and have room to respectfully lay some flowers there for her? I wish I could help them but I can't do that either. They blame my husband and I for her death - which is completely not our fault. LeAnn died of bacterial meningitis, but they blame it on her allergies - which had nothing to do with it - and say that us having cats was to blame for her death - which she never had any kind of reaction to cats, the grandmother just didn't like cats. And as for blame, I could blame them for not bringing her into the doctor's office sooner. She CRAWLED off the bus, from school she felt so horrible, and they put her to bed and waited three hours to check on her. By then her feet were already turning black and so were her veins. If they had brought her in sooner, maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe they could have saved her. But I am trying to move past my rage and my "maybes". What's done is done.

I hope I've illuminated the situation a little bit better for you. My grief is complex. My feelings are complex because the situation is complex.

As for loss, I have lost 8 family members in less than 3 years - that's not even counting the animals - and each grief is different, at different stages, and they change all the time. Me being this understanding, hell, I've come a long way. I could get into the whole egg donor mom thing but I won't. That's another story I'm still trying to work through.

This poem was inspired by a homily at church about forgiveness, and forgiving OTHERS for what they have done to you. So I guess I was proud of myself after reading what I was able to eke out because part of me would be much happier to just be mad at that whole side of the family forever, but part of me is too compassionate and just wants them not to hurt.

I don't know if you can understand any of this. It's all very complicated... And I hope you do not feel offended. Again, I am sorry for your loss. I still believe that no one should have to outlive their children, especially the grandchildren. I don't think it's unreasonable to want to tend the grave. It's part of healing. It's part of being able to commune and grieve with your loved one. I guess I'm just mad because I can't do that.

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kelly   

[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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kelly   

Guess who is traveling the farthest to our reunion?

It's Trudi.

Trudi is traveling all the way from Australia to Minneapolis, MN for our Beyond Indigo reunion in August!

If Trudi can make it, so can you! 

Come check our reunion page: http://www.beyondindigo.com/reunion/

Hope to see you there!

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kelly   

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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