Death of a Pet

[Guest Guest]

It has been 1 day since I put to sleep my best friend.. and the pain and emptiness is so hard to deal with.. My dog Teddy was 17 years old and lived his whole life with me..I keep thinking he is going to be there when I walk around the corner in my home.. Or be outside barking to come inside to be with me.. He followed me everywhere and I could always count on his companionship.. he loved to be with me and loved me so unconditionally.. I loved him so much that I layed on the ground outside in his last hours and pet and hugged him to say my last goodbyes. I cried for 2 hrs while I held him as I knew it was time to let him leave our world but didn't want it to be true. He needed to be in a peaceful place out of pain.. It ripped my heart to not have him lick me back as he once did. He was the best dog I could ever have. My miss my Teddy so much and cry all the time.. I could not barely sleep as I continue to see him in his last days and all other days with me.. I was not ready to let him go, but now he is gone and I can't bring him back.. How do I go on???

[Guest Guest]

I am truly sorry for your loss. I understand the pain that you are feeling.

We lost our best friend Elvis 3 weeks ago. Elvis was part of our family for 16 years. God decided on March 19, 2007 it was time for Elvis to go home.

The pain I feel hasn\'t gotten any better. However, I do take comfort in knowing that Elvis is no longer in any pain. I have a hard time functioning at home and at work. I miss Elvis so much.

We have another best friend Vinnie. Vinnie is also 16 years old. He is lost without his \"big brother\". Thankfully, he is doing better each day.

I am trying to take one day at a time. I envision Elvis in Heaven running and playing, which is something he wasn\'t able to do for some time. I am very blessed and thankful for the 16 years of unconditional love that Elvis gave us. He will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Guest Guest]

Yesterday my so sweet 5 month old Boxer got hit by a car. My son was just seconds away from possibly being able to change fate. The driver did not even stop. A small subdivision, 25 mph ,straight lane of residential street.His front grill remains in the back of my sons truck. I knew it did not look good ,even though there was little blood. My son knew too as he stroked him in his arms while my husband sped to the vets minutes away. I could feel nothing until today. I can not turn off the tears. This was the pup we picked over all (which was almost impossible).The pups Mom is ours too. This was the pup the vet had to do a c section to remove, these were the pups we bottle fed since age three days. I blinked and he is gone. I have had to put down a pet before because I knew of the pain and suffering of the pet. I grieved but not like this. Why is that?

[Kelly]

Hi all,

We are building a new Pet Loss area to help people deal with pet loss. It an area that little is known about. This morning in my email box a person sent this survey in. I think it is a good effort to try to understand this little known area of grief. If you get a minute please fill it out.

Kelly

President

Beyond Indigo

Have you experienced the death of a pet?

If so we want to hear from you.

Sharing YOUR experiences has the potential to benefit others. Completing this study will assist researchers and individuals in the helping professions (e.g., counselors) to better understand and serve people who have experienced the death of a pet.

· To participate just click on the link below which brings you to an online survey, this will take 10 minutes to complete. http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~cmhenry/

In addition to the survey there is also a list of links to resources providing information on pet loss on that website. If you prefer a paper and pencil copy you can email the researcher and she can mail one to you.

Responses will only be seen by the principal investigator and all data will be managed and shared as summations with no individual ever identified. All information will be kept completely confidential and not shared with anyone. Only summary data will be reported.

Let your voice be heard!

Thanks for your time,

Christine Henry, M.S., NCC

Purdue University

[taffya]

Yesterday my so sweet 5 month old Boxer got hit by a car. My son was just seconds away from possibly being able to change fate. The driver did not even stop. A small subdivision, 25 mph ,straight lane of residential street.His front grill remains in the back of my sons truck. I knew it did not look good ,even though there was little blood. My son knew too as he stroked him in his arms while my husband sped to the vets minutes away. I could feel nothing until today. I can not turn off the tears. This was the pup we picked over all (which was almost impossible).The pups Mom is ours too. This was the pup the vet had to do a c section to remove, these were the pups we bottle fed since age three days. I blinked and he is gone. I have had to put down a pet before because I knew of the pain and suffering of the pet. I grieved but not like this. Why is that?

I logged on here last week and then again today. I see no one has yet answered your message of pain, of losing your sweet Boxer.

I'm not an expert on feelings, but I do know that losing a pet you love is terribly painful. I would think that the accident was a hideous shock to you which would have made your pain all the worse.

You didn't have much time with your pet. And you weren't aware that he was going to die. What can I say? I lost my Mustafa when he was 13 years old - I knew he had terminal cancer and was going to die. But I'm still suffering.

And for you, the whole thing happened in a second. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.

[mlou2746]

First of all I would like to start by saying our heart and prayers go out to all of you and your losses.In February we lost a big part of our family, our 2 beautiful cats,due to our tragic house fire due to a faulty fireplace. I had to get my mom and daughter out of the house because it was spreading quickly. I then went back in..to get my cats.I couldn't find my babies anywhere, I was calling them and and opening all the doors so they could get out. I thought they would go outside, but they were house cats. I couldn't take the smoke anymore, I couldn't breathe, but later hours after I was told I couldn't go in because the house wasn't safe, but I just had to know and went in.I was screaming there names thru the house and my husband said, Honey there gone,but wouldn't tell me where they were, he knew it was gonna be hard for me. I did end up finding Remmington and Buttons in our room laying next to each other,they still felt a little warm. This was the hardest thing I ever went through. The smoke had got to them, thank god they did not get burned. What i'm trying to say is that i'm just so sad, or should I say numb,I feel guilty,why couldn't I have found them?I keep thinking maybe I could have blew in their face or mouth would still be alive. I cant stop thinking about this. I feel it's part my fault, I was so upset,I didn't even try? Or think of it. I keep asking myself would it have helped? I'm just so sad and cant express myself, is this normal. I can say this though, writing this to you guys got my tears finally to start coming out. Is this normal? I'm just trying to be strong 4 my kids who miss them deeply as well as my husband. Its just so hard...!

Thank you so much for hearing about my beloved cats. We will miss them and love them forever! God Bless all of you!

M

[zipper1373]

I am grieving the loss of my dearest companion of nearly 13 years. My little Leo, a gentle giant of a cat, died Friday. I have never cried so very hard. I do not have children of my own so my two cats are my best friends and children.

Leo had been lossing weight for the last 5 weeks. Eighteen pounds at his most robust, he died at 8 pounds.

I did not handle the death well at all. I couldn't continue holding him once he lost bodily function and started throwing up...I regret this so very much. I should have been holding him while he passed. He was so loyal to me for so very long and during his most vulnerable time I became a coward and did not show him the loyalty he always granted me.

God, I feel so very sad.

Thank you for listening,

Zipper

[DianeS]

Zipper,

I too lost my sweet cat a couple of weeks ago. She was nearly 15 and had symptoms that sound very much like what your Leo had. My Mollie was a little thing...8 lbs. at her prime and just over 5 lbs. after a two month weight loss. I made the terribly difficult decision to have her put down after she could no longer eat or drink for two days. She had been vomiting for three months, and would do a bit better on steroids and antibiotic (3 courses of each), but in the end she was able to keep nothing down and finally refused all food and water. I couldn't bear to just watch her starve to death, so had to make that decision that I never want to make.

We never know how we're going to react to something like this, so please don't be so hard on yourself. My guess is by the time your Leo lost control of bodily functions, he also wasn't very aware of much else around him. Also, remember that although we animal lovers know that animals have feelings, they do not think and reason the same way we do. I held Mollie while she died, but even afterwards you think that you should have done this, or you should have done that. It's normal. It's grief. We all do what we can do and then we have to accept that that's just how it was/is. There is always something we think we could have done differently. Who doesn't have those thoughts after the death of anyone close to us, including our pets. They are much more than pets, they are our dear friends. You loved Leo and he certainly knew that, even at the end. And you know, sometimes people cannot let go and die when their loved ones are holding onto them. Sometimes they need that space to be able to separate and let go. We experienced that with my mother. In fact, she told my father that as much as she loved him, she could no longer have him holding her hand. While he was still holding on, she could not go. Maybe it's the same with our animals? Just don't be too hard on yourself.

Time heals, but in the meantime it is so difficult.

DianeS

[nicolecraig]

I was relived to see that we are not alone in grieving for the loss of a pet. Last night we had to put down our beloved cat, Coco. He would have been 20 years old on 05/18/07 and my husband has owned him since he was 8 weeks old. He was a very affectionate cat and would always sit with us and keep us company. We feel so lost without him as he was our best friend and member of our family. We do not have any children and I consider our cats our children. Last year Coco developed a thyroid condition and 1 month ago his kidneys started to fail. I did give him pills and IV fluid but he started throwing up and loosing weight. Last week we found out he had cancer and there was nothing we could do but watch him start to suffer. Putting him down was the hardest decision we had to make and wonder if we made the right choice. I wanted him to die at home but our vet advised he would suffer and we did not want him to as he did not deserve it. We do have another cat and he does not seem to miss Coco. We are finding it very difficult to go on with our lives and wonder if we will ever recover from this.

[4everjoeysmom]

I read on this thread sometimes and am so sorry for all of you experiencing the loss of your precious furry friends. It's been almost 18 months since I had to put my beloved Boxer Gretchen down due to cancer. I also didn't want her to suffer needlessly. She was so regal in life, and I wanted so much for her to exit with that same regal dignity. But it was so hard. I've since lost my 24 year old son, 9 months ago, and that was a horrendous pain...is a horrendous pain. But despite the level of loss, and how preoccupied I am much of the time with missing Joey, I still think about Gretchen often. After 18 months I can actually think of her and smile, thinking about her life more than her death. And in a way I am beginning to be able to do that somewhat regarding my son. Loss is never easy when we love so much. I feel for everyone here experiencing the pain of loss, and my heartfelt sympathies go out to you. It is never the same. A precious beloved pet can never be replaced But somehow we are gifted with amazingly strong hearts, and we learn to love again, in a new and different way. I hope that everyone here who has loved and lost will in time be healed with the memories and love they cherish, and can learn to love new furry friends that eventually capture our hearts in a new and different way. Today I have a little 10 month old shih tzu, Jo-Jo, my husband gave me after my son passed away. He's no Gretchen, but he's brought me comfort, unconditional love and acceptance, warm kisses and cuddles and many, many moments of joy. I pray he will be around for a very long time. Blessings of peace and loving memories to all. -Claudia

[DianeS]

4everjoeysmom,

I have sometimes read your posts on the loss of a child forum. I've not lost a child and cannot even imagine the pain. Even in the midst of your pain though, you seem to know what to say to other grieving parents. I've been blessed by things you've written, so I can only imagine how your words have touched others experiencing what you are going through. I have come to this site off and on because a few years ago I lost my youngest brother, then 29, in an Air Force plane crash and then my mother to cancer, 9 mos. to the day after we buried my brother. She died just 6 weeks after the diagnosis. Doctors told us it had probably been growing for five years or so...it was lung cancer and she'd never smoked a cigarette in her life. I believe that the grief she experienced with the death of her child aided in the acceleration of her cancer. Her resistance was so low and her grief so great. Anyway, I applaud you for being able to reach out to others, even in your own grief. Having watched my parents grieve the death of a son, I know there is nothing else like it.

You are right about losing a pet. You can't replace them, but we do seem to be able to move on faster than we ever think we could. I had to put my old dog, Hannah, age 15, down a couple of years ago. She was the dearest, sweetest, biggest old dog and I still miss her. However, shortly after her death I got a call about a chocolate lab who had been badly mistreated and the owner was just going to dump her. I was not ready for another dog, but she wormed her way into my heart very quickly and she is so devoted to me now that it's almost pathetic. Pets are so free with their affection, you can't help but love them.

I hope no one here will take offense when I say this, but I think it is also important to keep things in perspective. The day I put my old cat down, someone else was burying a child, a parent, a sibling... I know that kind of pain and the loss of a pet has never compared to that. It is as intense initially, but amazingly you find that you are able to recover from it much faster. I try to remember that. We also know when we get a pet that they are here with us for a much shorter time than we'd like. That's an unfortunate fact. I know it may be different for those who do not have children, so please don't think I am minimizing your grief. I grieve deeply every time I lose a pet as well, I just seem to heal more easily from it.

DianeS

[4everjoeysmom]

DianeS, Thank you for your very kind, hearfelt words. I'm so sorry you lost your brother and your mom. I can imagine the struggles you encounter from time to time and on a daily basis because of those losses to your precious heart. I've often wondered how it is we humans can bear such pain and survive. It's been so helpful to have support of others that understand, and twice as helpful to reach out to others when I can.

I have been a pet lover for my whole life and have seen faithful furry friends come and go. It's always so sad and hard to say good-bye no matter how long our furry pals have been in our lives. And I am grateful that we have them for however long we can, because the companionship and love they give is a true gift. I'm glad you are blessed with new friends, as am I with my little JoJo. I hope and pray everyone here who has lost a dear and loving pet can overcome their grief and perhaps find life and love in a new pal one day that surely too will bring immeasurable joy.

God Bless the pet lovers in the World! May you all find comfort in the loving memories of joy your special friend has brought to your lives. And thank you for walking with others who share your grief. I know it's hard, and sometimes we don't know what to say and we just read, but please know that just your being here makes a huge difference for someone else feeling the same pain. I have found comfort in the following poem, and perhaps you will too. -Claudia

The Rainbow Bridge:

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[DianeS]

4everjoeysmom,

What a beautiful poem. I may have seen it before, but never really took the time to read it closely. I love the part that talks about caressing that beloved head again. Don't we all know that feeling that comes from stroking our dog's head while they gaze into your eyes? Very touching. I don't know what happens to our animals once they are gone, but I like to hold onto what my mother always told me when I was a child and would ask her if animals went to heaven. She replied, "YES!" without hesitation. I asked her how she could be so sure and she said that heaven wouldn't be heaven without animals because they give us so much pleasure throughout our lives.

I sometimes wish I wasn't such an animal lover it. It would be easier in some ways because then I could avoid the pain that comes with losing them, but you're right, the companionship they give us is a true gift. I find that even more true, now that my children are grown and no longer at home.

DianeS

[4everjoeysmom]

In my thinking.. Animals were part of creation in a perfect earth--before the fall. So if animals were part of a pefect plan for earth, I'd like to think they are part of a perfect heaven. I can't say I know what happens to them, but it helps to think along these lines to find comfort and peace. Have you ever read any of the CS Lewis Chronicles of Narnia series? It's very spiritual, and in the Kingdom there are animals--lively, communicative, loving and so forth. Such a beautifully vivid imagination to depict heaven in such a way... Most people think the books are just for children, but you would be amazed how wonderful and entertaining they are. In fact, I read them after Joey passed, and for some odd reason I found a good deal of comfort when I let myself adventure into the depths of Narnia...

[zipper1373]

It has been one week since I lost Leo. The grieving process is so unpredictable. I will be fine and the next moment I will think of a memory and I breakdown and have a very painful cry. When I look at Leo's dish where I put his morning "cookies" (Tender Vittles) I crumble. So I have put the dish away. Then I begin to doubt and think that seeing reminders of Leo may be good for me to remind myself that he is still around, only in a different form. I did put the laundry basket back in its place in my closet; one of Leo's favorite napping places. I said aloud, "Leo just because I can't see you, I want you to know that you can still come here and rest whenever you want". I say a prayer for him every day. I have not lost a child or a dear friend and I don't even have children myself but this loss must be like loosing a child. My pain is no less. I have lost my loving, loyal, best friend, and best roommate.

[ashleysmom]

My 6 1/2yr old boxer, Gunther died on April 23rd. He was such a love. The comfort that big boy brought to my family has been immeasurable. He was there to absorb and lick the tears from our faces as we grieved the loss of our daughter, Ashley. It feels as if another link to Ashley has gone. I like to believe that Ashley met Gunther at rainbow bridge and we'll all be together again someday. This loss has been excrutiating. My husband asked the other day, "why us, what have we done to deserve all of this pain" I had no answer.

[Guest Guest]

Young E-Published writer who has lost her mother, father, pets, friends, babies and many significant others is putting the finishing touches on a table book which captures the humorous and sometimes inappropriate remarks that children and adults make when choosing what to say to someone who has suffered the loss of a Parent, Spouse, Lover, Friendship, Pet, Child or Business Partnership is seeking your contribution today.

These stories are not exclusive to death as loss can include those who have moved away from us either physically or emotionally. We are NOT seeking stories relating to the loss of jobs, homes or other personal property.

Painful memories when shared in a safe environment can often be soul healers so we hope you'll take the time to share with our understanding group.

When replying, please include your first name, age and the subject of the loss on the subject line:

i.e. LOSS OF PARENT or LOSS OF CHILD, etc.

Please fill out a survey here:

http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?p=WEB226E49J9JZG

-OR-

Send your responses to:

tablebook2007@yahoo.com

-OR-

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tablebook2007/

Many thanks,

[Guest Guest]

In my thinking.. Animals were part of creation in a perfect earth--before the fall. So if animals were part of a pefect plan for earth, I'd like to think they are part of a perfect heaven. I can't say I know what happens to them, but it helps to think along these lines to find comfort and peace.

Just like our spirit leves our shell when we pass over to the other side, so does the spirits of our beloved pets. They are often come through in mediumship readings with our loved humans that have passed over. So please know that your pets are safe and well looked after.

[4everjoeysmom]

Ugh.. my quote totally taken out of the context in which it was meant... although I wonder what Gretchen's voice sounds like to a medium. I never actually heard more that her occasional grunts, groans, barks, licks, sneezes, belches and farts. The thought of her actually communing is kind of funny. Her "sounds" would often crack me up when she was here.

Not to make light of the loss... I believe what I said in my original statement. And that does bring me comfort. Bless you all, Claudia

[Guest Guest]

It has been one week since I lost Leo. The grieving process is so unpredictable. I will be fine and the next moment I will think of a memory and I breakdown and have a very painful cry. When I look at Leo's dish where I put his morning "cookies" (Tender Vittles) I crumble. So I have put the dish away. Then I begin to doubt and think that seeing reminders of Leo may be good for me to remind myself that he is still around, only in a different form. I did put the laundry basket back in its place in my closet; one of Leo's favorite napping places. I said aloud, "Leo just because I can't see you, I want you to know that you can still come here and rest whenever you want". I say a prayer for him every day. I have not lost a child or a dear friend and I don't even have children myself but this loss must be like loosing a child. My pain is no less. I have lost my loving, loyal, best friend, and best roommate.

I know exactly what you mean ..dogs are just like family ! and it is just heart breaking when they die..God understands how much we love our pets..he gave them to us for that reason..LOVE...and he will comfort you when you grieve for your dog...I have had terrible experiences with dogs the last 2 years...3 have died from accidents...and i cant count the tears and guilt i felt ..but God did comfort me ! Now I have a chihuahua Darwin that is the love of my life (dog wise ) ...if he died ill probably be admitted to the nut house!

[Guest Guest]

I'm crying as I am reading ... my dog is not responding, not eating, and she is 17. I am trying to decide whether to take herr to the vet or wait a few days. Either way, it's time. She doesn't seem to be in too much pain, and I give her a little water through a syringe, but I don't know what to do because I have not had other pets. She has been my best best friend for so long. I don't know what I will do without her.

I understand how it feels.. as I just had to put my dog to sleep yesterday and he was 17 and a half.. he could not walk or eat or drink anymore... It hurts to not have him in my life anymore..yet I could see he had no kind of life I would wish apon him.. I wish every minute he was back and healthy, as I can see him laying in everyroom of my home.. It brings tears to my eyes not seeing him and being able to pet him and hug him anymore. I feel so empty and lost..I have had him in my life since I was 20 and move out on my own and we have been through so much together.. He has always given me the unconditional love I needed and now I don't know what to do without it..I miss him so much, it hurts everywhere inside me. My buddy Teddy is gone now and I wish i could bring him back.

what a blessing to have the same dog for 17 years..and what a lucky dog she was !! It is hard to have a dog that long and then them gone...but I do want to say that your dog faired so much better than alot of dogs out there that are unwanted, abused, and hungry with no home ....your dog had what ever dog dreams of..love : ) what a lucky dog !

[Kelly]

Good Afternoon,

Beyond Indigo is undergoing a redesign and upgrade. We have been working on this project for many months now and have a few more updates to make before it will go live. One of these updates or new features is an e-card program. People will be able to send out I am thinking of you cards, birthdays, anniversary of the loss cards, etc. We are looking for people to submit e-cards they have created to be included in this program. We do have the ability to send out the cards with a watermark on them. The artist would retain the copyright unless we purchased the e-card or it was given to us freely. If you have some e-cards you have created and want them to be considered please email them to Kelly@beyondindigo.com.

Thanks!

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

[dizzie]

hi everyone, I ve recently lost my soul mate Murphy, a german shepherd. He was only 5 years old and had to be put to sleep because he had an awful disease called anal furunculosis which gave him ulcers under his tail and then ate away at all the tissue internally. he had loads of sugery and steroids but all for nothing, he also had bad hip dysplasia as well so was in constant pain.I m sat here crying as I m writing this cos I miss him so much it hurts. I have another shepherd, Taz, who also misses him. I cant imagine never seeing him again and cant sit watching television without seeing him laid on the couch or curled up by my feet and its just tearing me apart. He was put to sleep on 10th January this year but its not gettin any easier, I just cant stop crying and lookin at his photos even tho this is probably the worst thing to do.Will this ever feel better. I lost my sister 4 years ago as well, she was only 51, and I m still grieving over that as well, why is life so hard? hope other people can relate to this!

[taffya]

hi everyone, I ve recently lost my soul mate Murphy, a german shepherd. He was only 5 years old and had to be put to sleep because he had an awful disease called anal furunculosis which gave him ulcers under his tail and then ate away at all the tissue internally. he had loads of sugery and steroids but all for nothing, he also had bad hip dysplasia as well so was in constant pain.I m sat here crying as I m writing this cos I miss him so much it hurts. I have another shepherd, Taz, who also misses him. I cant imagine never seeing him again and cant sit watching television without seeing him laid on the couch or curled up by my feet and its just tearing me apart. He was put to sleep on 10th January this year but its not gettin any easier, I just cant stop crying and lookin at his photos even tho this is probably the worst thing to do.Will this ever feel better. I lost my sister 4 years ago as well, she was only 51, and I m still grieving over that as well, why is life so hard? hope other people can relate to this!

I read your post more than a week ago and wanted to reply. Sometimes I think I reply too often here, but I wish I could talk to everyone. The problem is that I feel so sorry and so sad for everyone, but don't have the right words to make people feel better. The real problem is that I myself am not recovering well from the death of my dog in October (of cancer).

I hope you feel better as time goes on. I know I do - but I still feel tremendous grief and I expect I always will. How can we not miss someone we loved much. And it's so easy to love a pet. And the pet loves you. The attachment can be so strong.

I give you my condolences. I'm glad you have Taz to help you through your grief.

[bevincali]

I'm so sorry for the recent loss of Murphy. I know the loss all to well. I too have lost some best friends over the years. I still to this day love them with all the love I had when they were with me breathing. Now they are in my heart and with my husband who I lost in Dec of 05. So no words of wisdom just know I can relate and feel your pain and sorrow. My Broodie (14 years), Frieda (17 years) both dogs and Critter (17years), Amos (21years) and Spookie (17 years)my cats. Many of them overlapped and I was privledged to have them in my life for the years I did. Forunatly I had Broods to get me through the lose of my husband of 32 years. Now my cats are Amos #2 and Diesel. I'm so sorry and I know from my perspective it doesn't seem like much to say, but from the perspective of someone who has suffered a similar loss I know it means a lot.So hang in there and cherish the time you had and know they loved you equally as much.

[cocoasmom]

Boy, it has been awhile that I have been on here. Had surgery and still trying to recover. I just made it to the 10 months without my baby. How I miss her. I can't beleive she has been gone for that long already. I was down stairs just going through some things (because we moved about 4 months ago) and found Cocoa's collar. Don't know how it got where it was, but I was sure glad I found it. It is now back with her on her ashes sitting in my front room. I truly think if people won't think I totaly lost it, I would wear it. I just miss her so much. My two daughters will stop at the pet store in the mall (something we always did to say hi to all the pets who did not have homes, whenever we went there), but I can't do that anymore. And I know my youngest daughter would love to have another pet. But in my heart I just can't do it. I promised Cocoa the day I had to let her go, that I would NEVER have another baby. I turly hope my daughter understands. Boy if I could just get one more day with Cocoa, sounds greety. Especally snice she was so sick. I know she is healthy and happy now, but my heart still hurts for losing her. She truly was my 3rd daughter. I miss carrying her around like a baby. When it rains I think how she hated to go outside, because she did not like to get her feet wet. I just know she would love this place we are living in now. With all the dogs that live around here and they are all so freindly. I still can't get rid of her bed or any of her babies that like to to suck on. I had to get out the red wagon that she loved to ride in with my neice, to take her to the park. And it was weird not to see Cocoa riding with her. Cocoa would ride in the wagon instead walking around. When you pulled the wagon out she would get in and lay down. She was truly treated like the queen she was. We were just at wedding and seen the family we got Cocoa from. They could not beleive that Cocoa was gone. Cocoa's birth mom is still living and doing well. We were glad to hear that. Even though it broke my heart that I don't have her around anymore. Well, to you Cocoa a hug and kiss from mommy, I miss you and love you.

cocoamom

Ang

[cocoasmom]

Today Cocoa would of been 12 years old. It is so sad, usually we have a bone cake and she would blow (ok, snort out) the candles. She just could not wait ot get that huge bone I would buy her. And she just loved to open up presents. All the pets I have had through the years growing up, never did I know a dog who ould open presents. But Cocoa stood out that is for sure. So Happy Birthday Cocoa, know that mommy loves and misses you.

Ang

[Edmund]

they say dogs (?&cats) are the only creature that can love us more than they love thelmselves. still missing my 2 cats & mom but will eventually get another one or two...i think when we die we will see all of our loved ones (human & otherwise) again! ed

[taffya]

they say dogs (?&cats) are the only creature that can love us more than they love thelmselves. still missing my 2 cats & mom but will eventually get another one or two...i think when we die we will see all of our loved ones (human & otherwise) again! ed

I sure hope you're right, Edmund. I'm still suffering after nearly a year without my dog and more years without my cats

Cocoa's mom- we lost our dogs about the same time last year. I've been reading messages and not writing here because I just don't have words of wisdom. I believe the suffering will go on forever.

[Guest Guest]

Dear everyone,

Please consider helping me with my book on pet loss. See below:

Sid Korpi is an award-winning freelance writer/journalist and editor in the Minneapolis area, where she in the infancy stage of writing a book about pet loss, its unique grieving process, and ways in which to honor our beloved pets and heal our hearts.

She is welcoming your stories of: 1) the amazing bond between humans and their companion animals; 2) the ways in which you dealt with your pet's death and/or difficulties you faced when those around you perhaps didn't support your grieving process; 3) evidence you've had that your pet is still actively in your life after his/her passing (dreams, visions, sensations, odd behaviors witnessed in surviving pets or other animals, etc.); and 4) creative ways you've memorialized or honored your pet's life.

If you would like to submit a story to be considered for inclusion in her book, please email her directly for details at: proofpositive@tcinternet.net.

[anne17]

I am new to the forum and writing because I have overwhelming feelings of guilt and sadness due to the death of a 4 wk old kitten I was fostering. I have a large rottweiler who loved and mothered the kitten (they love to mother children/kitties/puppies contrary to some opinions). I am active in animal rescue and although he and Little Kitty loved each other I did not allow them together unless I was right there, usually holding one of them. Thornton would lick Little Kitty and Kitty would play with him, then I would have Thornton sit and watch. Lately I have been very upset, exhaused and distracted due to a neighborly dispute which is in legal proceedings and came in the house after a day of trying to dig up and move my front hedges per order of the town and was ready to just fall over with exhaustion. I let Little Kitty out to play, put Thornton's food on the floor because I couldn't find his dish and kitty walked on his food. He growled and I made him go sit because he knows all kitties in the house have priority even with his food. I then let him resume eating and went in the other room to feed the big kitties thinking Little Kitty would be scampering around the room, not come back to the food. I heard a growl and went in and Little Kitten was going in circles on the floor, couldn't get up and was obviously very hurt. I picked him up and he twitched and convulsed a few times and then stopped. He was dead. Thornton must have snapped at him-he probably got near his food again. I was hysterical and ran across the street to my neighbor's house with Little Kitty's body. I don't remember a lot after that but my neighbor called the cremation service for me; they came and picked him up. His ashes will be on the front steps when I get home. I am sure Thornton didn't know what he did and misses his kitten but I am so distraught I can barely look at him. I of all people, being in animal rescue,know better than to leave a 4 wk old kitten with a large dog, no matter how much the dog loves kittens/cats, etc. because a 110 lb dog can easily hurt a child or critter without even knowing it. This is one of those mistakes that I turn down adoption applications for and now I have done the same thing. I miss Little Kitty so much-he was an exceptional kitten-I caught him doing a trap, neuter, return project-he was the only kitten we got-we haven't been able to locate the others. I gave him a bottle the first day and he was getting weaned and was to go to a splendid home. I had to tell the adopter he was dead. Anyway, long story short is that I miss Little Kitty so much-the way he scampered around the house as if he always lived there, would play with all the other kitties even if they didn't want to, and purred his little purr when I carried him around in a little pouch. I would like to know if anyone else has grieved the loss of a pet due to their inattention and how they got through it. Thanks, Anne

[Guest Guest]

Hello, coming across this website cannot be coincidental...

Our *Autumn SunLight* aka *Sissy* died suddenly in May, I miss her so much,

as my last year has been an emotional roller coaster from other challenges.

I am a strong person, with great faith and have always managed to stay

cheery and above my circumstance, no matter what. I've needed her company.

But, I sure miss my little friend, who was our pet for 12 yrs. since she

was just 6 wks. old. Often, I sense her presence, am sure I hear her silly

snoring now & then... of course we have cried our tears.

My son hurried over to dig the tiny grave and we cried there like babies.

Am sure it was a week, before I quit sitting near her grave, talking to

her while teary eyed to the max.

Ya know, I've lost 3 sibblings, parents & grandparents, dear freinds, etc.,

but our Sissy is who I sit and write to several times weekly. I have a book

in which I have collected my poetry, songs etc., written just for her &

to her since her departure. That helps me lots.

But my real challenge has been with our 3 yr. grandchild...

From day one, since I babysit her,,, she asks: "where's Sissy".

"Sissy, you get your hiney back here, right now!".

My explanation to Sissy's absence was: Sissy went to live with Baby & Bear.

in Heaven.

(our 2 pets from many yrs. ago, for whom we still shed a tear now & then.)

The wee one, has for over 3 months, continued her request for Sissy to

return to us. She draws her pictures and talks to her,,, I had not

realized how much my grandkid was attatched to our pet.

Well, Last Thursday, upon her arrival early in the morn, first thing:

\\\"Daddy, look it\\\'s Sissy (photo), I miss her... \\\"Sissy you get your hiney

back her right now!\\\". \\\"Because we love you\\\".

The thing is, that before this day, she was always aglow, smiling,

cheerful, had authority behind her words and greaT hope.

This time, she barely got the words out, and finished by crossing her

arms on her chest, lowered her head, and said: \\\"Daddy, Sissy isn\\\'t coming

back, ever.\\\" She was so sad.

I believe that she has come to accept that her dog is not returning to us.

All that day, she was emotional, broken hearted.

Today,,, upon arrival, \\\"Grammy, it\\\'s Sissy\\\'s Birthday, I\\\'m going to draw

her a picture and make her a gift.\\\" That she did... A smiley face for

our beloved dog, and a special favorite box that she filled with her

baby doll and a \\\'treasure\\\' box... carried them outdoors: \\\"I have to take them outdoors, so Sissy can see them\\\".

She gave great care to where she set the gifts and drawing & photo of

Sissy. Asked if we could have a Birthday Party for Sissy on Tuesday the

11th........ which happens to be Sissy\\\'s 4 th. month of having died.

Coincidental, I don\\\'t know? we had not mentioned anything about Sissy

being gone 4 months nearly.

So, tonight we picked her up to join us at the grocery store, and

allowed her to select a cake, candles, balloon, etc., as she had

requested to do...

Strange thing, this grieving... for children, the pain is no different,

they just mostly are not able to express it. While she was being

emotional last Thursday,,, I encouraged my son to not scold her,,,

as I felt there was something more to her just being a 3 yr. old,

who had not cried that way since she was nearing 2 yrs. of age.

I just needed to share my heart,,, as I long to hug our Sissy,

see her begging eyes rolled at us... remembering all the funny times

with her... She even ran away from home once... Sissy did,,,

She was pouting about something a few yrs. ago, and headed to the

patio doors with her stuffed Snoopy in between her teeth, I opened the

door, and there she went,,, as far away from the house with her baby

Snoopy. Would look back at us, poutfully.

Forgive me for gabbing so,,,, but I appreciate this website,,, hope

someone doesn\\\'t mind reading. Sissy was my companion in hiking,

roaming the woods, walking the creeks together etc. she was like

our kid, and true friend.

. hehee. Thanks all who read this... blessings to you all.

LiL (in memory of our beloved: Autumn Sunlight, a name she lived up

to... Cheery, perky, Jolly & bright... everyone loved her, whereever

she went,,, (miss you Sissy). She enjoyed propping herself up on her

hind legs in the car, when we drove up to a bank teller or fast food

place, expecting the teller to greet her.....

[mofirefly]

Guest - I seldom visit this forum as the last time I had a pet was over 12 years ago...but your post was an absolute delight to read...your grandchild sounds so insightful and it was wonderful of you to let her express her feelings fully. Your post helped me mend some tonight - may you also find a way to mend your broken heart over the loss of your beloved Sissy. Take care.

[Guest Guest]

Hello, coming across this website cannot be coincidental...

Our *Autumn SunLight* aka *Sissy* died suddenly in May, I miss her so much,

as my last year has been an emotional roller coaster from other challenges.

I am a strong person, with great faith and have always managed to stay

cheery and above my circumstance, no matter what. I've needed her company.

But, I sure miss my little friend, who was our pet for 12 yrs. since she

was just 6 wks. old. Often, I sense her presence, am sure I hear her silly

snoring now & then... of course we have cried our tears.

My son hurried over to dig the tiny grave and we cried there like babies.

Am sure it was a week, before I quit sitting near her grave, talking to

her while teary eyed to the max.

Ya know, I've lost 3 sibblings, parents & grandparents, dear freinds, etc.,

but our Sissy is who I sit and write to several times weekly. I have a book

in which I have collected my poetry, songs etc., written just for her &

to her since her departure. That helps me lots.

But my real challenge has been with our 3 yr. grandchild...

From day one, since I babysit her,,, she asks: "where's Sissy".

"Sissy, you get your hiney back here, right now!".

My explanation to Sissy's absence was: Sissy went to live with Baby & Bear.

in Heaven.

(our 2 pets from many yrs. ago, for whom we still shed a tear now & then.)

The wee one, has for over 3 months, continued her request for Sissy to

return to us. She draws her pictures and talks to her,,, I had not

realized how much my grandkid was attatched to our pet.

Well, Last Thursday, upon her arrival early in the morn, first thing:

"Daddy, look it's Sissy (photo), I miss her... "Sissy you get your hiney

back her right now!"."Because we love you". "I'm going to have to have

a talk with Baby and Bear, cause Sissy hasn't come back yet."

The thing is, that before this day, she was always aglow, smiling,

cheerful, had authority behind her words and greaT hope.

This time, she barely got the words out, and finished by crossing her

arms on her chest, lowered her head, and said: "Daddy, Sissy isn't coming

back, ever." She was so sad.

I believe that she has come to accept that her dog is not returning to us.

All that day, she was emotional, broken hearted.

Today,,, upon arrival, "Grammy, it's Sissy's Birthday, I'm going to draw

her a picture and make her a gift." That she did... A smiley face for

our beloved dog, and a special favorite box that she filled with her

baby doll and a 'treasure' box... carried them outdoors: "I have to take them outdoors, so Sissy can see them".

She gave great care to where she set the gifts and drawing & photo of

Sissy. Asked if we could have a Birthday Party for Sissy on Tuesday the

11th........ which happens to be Sissy's 4 th. month of having died.

Coincidental, I don't know? we had not mentioned anything about Sissy

being gone 4 months nearly.

So, tonight we picked her up to join us at the grocery store, and

allowed her to select a cake, candles, balloon, etc., as she had

requested to do...

Strange thing, this grieving... for children, the pain is no different,

they just mostly are not able to express it. While she was being

emotional last Thursday,,, I encouraged my son to not scold her,,,

as I felt there was something more to her than just being a 3 yr. old,

who had not cried that way since she was nearing 2 yrs. of age.

I just needed to share my heart,,, as I long to hug our Sissy,

see her begging eyes rolled at us... remembering all the funny times

with her... She even ran away from home once... Sissy did,,,

She was pouting about something a few yrs. ago, and headed to the

patio doors with her stuffed Snoopy in between her teeth, I opened the

door, and there she went,,, as far away from the house with her baby

Snoopy. Would look back at us, poutfully.

Forgive me for gabbing so,,,, but I appreciate this website,,, hope

someone doesn\'t mind reading. Sissy was my companion in hiking,

roaming the woods, walking the creeks together etc. she was like

our kid, and true friend.

. hehee. Thanks all who read this... blessings to you all.

LiL (in memory of our beloved: Autumn Sunlight, a name she lived up

to... Cheery, perky, Jolly & bright... everyone loved her, whereever

she went,,, (miss you Sissy). She enjoyed propping herself up on her

hind legs in the car, when we drove up to a bank teller or fast food

place, expecting the teller to greet her.....

[enuffznuff]

Death of Thor

I have two Boxers, My female had a litter in Dec 2006, and all the puppies were placed in good homes, I kept the cutiest male, called him Thor, He was a brindle with white markings.

Wednesday 9/12/2006 - I came home to see the tradgety, I had all three of my dogs on the back deck, only to see my Thor dead, I had Thor on a leash because he had been over playing with my 6 year old male boxer, Thor somehow manage to climb up on the railing and tried to walk on the tarp that is the roof of my kennel and he tore through.

My pain is the loss, but further is not knowing whether he suffered or not and of course why?

[Guest Guest]

Zipper,

I too lost my sweet cat a couple of weeks ago. She was nearly 15 and had symptoms that sound very much like what your Leo had. My Mollie was a little thing...8 lbs. at her prime and just over 5 lbs. after a two month weight loss. I made the terribly difficult decision to have her put down after she could no longer eat or drink for two days. She had been vomiting for three months, and would do a bit better on steroids and antibiotic (3 courses of each), but in the end she was able to keep nothing down and finally refused all food and water. I couldn't bear to just watch her starve to death, so had to make that decision that I never want to make.

We never know how we're going to react to something like this, so please don't be so hard on yourself. My guess is by the time your Leo lost control of bodily functions, he also wasn't very aware of much else around him. Also, remember that although we animal lovers know that animals have feelings, they do not think and reason the same way we do. I held Mollie while she died, but even afterwards you think that you should have done this, or you should have done that. It's normal. It's grief. We all do what we can do and then we have to accept that that's just how it was/is. There is always something we think we could have done differently. Who doesn't have those thoughts after the death of anyone close to us, including our pets. They are much more than pets, they are our dear friends. You loved Leo and he certainly knew that, even at the end. And you know, sometimes people cannot let go and die when their loved ones are holding onto them. Sometimes they need that space to be able to separate and let go. We experienced that with my mother. In fact, she told my father that as much as she loved him, she could no longer have him holding her hand. While he was still holding on, she could not go. Maybe it's the same with our animals? Just don't be too hard on yourself.

Time heals, but in the meantime it is so difficult.

DianeS

Dear Diane S.:

Thank you for sharing your story. It really helped me out. I am so sorry for your loss, as well as everyone else's on this website. Loss is never easy-no matter what the circumstances, but your story hit home for me.

I had to make that difficult decision to put my beloved cat to sleep two days ago. He had an inoperable stomach tumor and could not longer eat, drink and barely walked. I also wanted him to die in peace at home, but did not want him to suffer. I was also advised to put him to sleep.

The vet I preferred to be involved was on vacation so I chose someone else. Although she was not abusive, her manner was more abrupt than I would have liked. Now, when I think back on the experience, I would have handled it differently by being more assertive, but at the time, I was in shock and just went with the options she presented. For instance, the cat was given a sedative and then she had me come in with my 9 year old daughter to see him because she did not think he would survive until the catheter was put in for the final dose of medication. (My daughter was not supposed to be part of that. She had just seen him when we first brought him in before the vet initially took him.) When we were called in, I did not know why-I thought he would just be sedated and that it would not be that close to the end. As I tried to process it all and we gave him some reassuring pets on the head, the vet said he was begining to struggle so she needed to take him in back to put in the catheter. I look back on it and should have told her no-I will hold the cat but I didn't. I have been dealing with the guilt ever since.

So, once again, I thank you for your posting. You are right, we do the best we can do at the time. The vet also later said he did not want to leave us so maybe the separation was best-I don't know.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Kendres L.

[gsmith]

We'd had our cat Monkey since 2002 when she arrived as a skinny, matted and heavily pregnant stray on our doorstep. Despite such a horrible start in life, she was so trusting. When she went into labour she was actually lying on my chest and purring, occasionally giving a surprised miaow as a contraction hit. She was the most friendly, affectionate cat who always greeted us with a 'hey, it's you!' squeal of excitement every morning, rolled over to be tickled at the slightest provocation and gave us so much pleasure each and every day.

She went missing on Friday and my husband and I scoured the surrounding area for the next 2 days, asking complete strangers if they'd seen our cat, posting fliers through all the letter boxes we could, until finally someone mentioned casually that they'd seen a dead cat in the road about half a mile away. Before we even checked it out, I think we both knew deep down that it would be Monkey. Many cats go missing for days, off on hunting trips and other adventures. But Monkey was so obscenely happy to see us each day that she'd never willingly go away for more than a few hours. And so it turned out.

She was barely recognisable and at first we tried to persuade ourselves that it couldn't possibly be her. But her collar was still fairly intact and we knew we'd have to stop kidding ourselves. We couldn't even collect what was left of her, as the busy road meant it was too dangerous. And so now, every day, I find myself at the side of the road, looking at her remains, crying my eyes out and hoping against hope that she didn't suffer.

I've lost pets before and always been really upset but they've died peacefully of old age and we've always known it was the best thing. But Monkey was only 5. I'd bargained on at least another 10 years or so with her and now feel completely overwhelmed. How the hell do I get through this??

[Guest Guest]

I know the horrible pain of losing a pet....a family member. I think my grief is going to last a long time. I lost my little buff female Cocker Spaniel, Sugar, on June 29th, 2007-the day I finally took her to the Vet for the last time. She was in so much pain...I couldn't stand seeing her in pain any longer. I remember the day I brought her home....a cold day in February, the year was 1989 and she was only 5 weeks old. That little ball of fur gave me so much happiness through the years...and so many happy memories. She is at rest in the back yard, in a little casket with some grave stones, and some solar lights, next to my Hostas. I go to her grave daily-night is the worst time for me. I don't know how people get through this.....is time the only thing that helps? It feels like I have lost a child. It just doesn't seem to get any easier for me, so I know the pain you are all feeling. I hope the pain will get easier for all of you-I hate the idea of others going through all this grief. Can anyone tell me how to get through this any easier? I mean, I've told myself a million times that Sugar is at peace, she isn't hurting any more, but God I just miss her so much. One day I may get another, but NOTHING will ever take her place-I loved her from the beginning and the love will always be there for her. Maybe I will eventually have another to love, but I think this is going to take a long, LONG time. How do people handle things like this? To me, it is unbearable. Thanks for listening.

[4everjoeysmom]

No other will replace what you had with Sugar. She was your special kid. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet Boxer Gretchen in November of 2005 and it hurt so much. Then I lost my 24 year old son 14 months ago. That was unbearable. After a couple of months from there I got a new little puppy as a gift from my husband, and Jo-Jo has been my loving companion ever since. He licked away countless salty tears and I learned that I have enough love in me to love again. Jo-Jo isn't Gretchen, but he's very sepcial too, and I love him just as much. It will take time. And perhaps one day when you are ready, a new addition to your family and heart will bring you again to discover the love inside of you is enough for a new little friend. Peace and blessings to you, Claudia

[jerrikay]

This is to '4everjoeysmom'-THANK YOU so much for your kind words. I appreciated it so much....the loss of Sugar was horrible....then somehow everything was deleted in my Inbox & I had to remember this website! Otherwise, I would have definitely gotten back sooner! It's a wonderful site. I just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to YOU....losing your Boxer, Gretchen AND your 24 year old son-I cannot even imagine how painful that would be. I am so happy that your husband got you a puppy-Jo-Jo must bring you so much happiness! Pets bring so much joy into a person's life. I am in the process of finding out if I will be able to get a little Cocker Spaniel puppy at a rescue site in St. Louis, MO, that I found on the website. But I have been e-mailed that another person wants the puppy, too, so I may have to wait for a while. I am sure it will help me when I get another Cocker Puppy, but nothing will ever replace my Sugar-18 years with her was total joy for me. I will love another, tho, one day. I guess I will know when the time is right. I know I have a lot of love to give...I am praying that I will get this puppy at the site-they said my application was fantastic, but we'll see. It is a 4 hour drive, but I don't mind. I just wish you much happiness with your Jo-Jo. Those little 'furbabies' can make such a wonderful difference in our lives! Thank you again, Claudia.

[jerrikay]

Wow-I read about all the 'guilt' many of you have felt, for not doing something you thought you should have, etc. Please don't feel like this-all of your pets had such wonderful, loving homes. I feel some guilt, too, tho-when the horrible day came that Sugar was to be put to sleep, I carried her in to the Vet-she could not walk well by herself, plus she was completely blind & deaf by then. (We asked about surgery on her eyes & ears, wanting to do ANYTHING that may have helped, but the Vet said Sugar just could not survive surgery-she told us that she had outlived her life span, but that didn't help me feel any better, and that she more than likely had cancer towards the end of her life) Anyway, she was given an injection to relax-the whole time she was awake, her eyes were open, but ofcourse she saw nothing. To this day I feel guilty for not HOLDING HER throughout this process. I put my arms around her, I petted her throughout it all, I kept telling her that I loved her even tho I knew she couldn't hear me, but she knew my touch. I was worried about her pain because at the end I could hold her, but she would eventually get up and frantically go around in circles (this was at home)-my Vet & Groomer told me they will sometimes do that when they are in pain. So I thought maybe I should just let her lay down, and I could just keep my arms around her....but I STILL feel guilty...and she was put down on June 29th. WHY do we feel guilty? It really hurts. Everyone, including my Vet, said that Sugar could not have had a more wonderful or loving home, and that she had just come to the end of her road, after 18 years, but WOW-the hurt won't subside. I just hope that I, and some of you others, will stop feeling so guilty-we loved our pets so much and they knew that. Everytime I walk through the door, I always think I better do what I did for 18 years-put Sugar out to go potty...and then I remember she isn't here. I just wish you all peace and happiness-eventually the hurt HAS to lessen. Thanks for listening.

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Jerrikay, Thank you also for your sweet words. I am so joyful to share that we have added yet another fur baby to our pack. We now have Adie too, our 7 month old mini schnauzer. It's been amazing watching her grow and realizing that some of her personality traits remind me so much of Gretchen. It's been a wonderful revision of what Gretchen brought to our family. While it's different for sure, it's heartwarming nonetheless. Jo-Jo and Adie are best of friends, and they truly bring me joy and comfort. I know you'll find that again too. Hugs, Claudia

[cactusflower]

i hope you are feeling better now about the loss of your dog. your dog lives on in your personality.

[sherrie8168]

 

We lost our beloved Australian Cattle Dog, Rex, in May.

We miss you and are still loving our "Rexie Pexie"....forever.

Sherrie and Rachel.....Beautiful Bill's Mommas

[aaishah]

this is my first time here. and my heart goes out to all of you who have lost their pet(s)!!

'Cuddles' was my sweet little pekingnese puppy. i still remember the first time i saw her. she was the tiniest in the littr. and shy. i loved her the moment i saw her and knew i was taking her home as soon as i held her. she was tiny and adorable. that night she slept with me in my bed in my arms. i would wake up every little while to see that she's ok. after that she slept with me every night. i dont remember ever waking up to her barking. she never barked when i slept. but once i was up she would be jumping and barking joyously to play. i used to feed her with my hands. and loved her like she was my child. unfortunately she died when she was only 5 months old. it was an accident and to date i feel guilty and feel as if i was responsible for her death. i feel like i couldnt be there for her and save her. i feel like she expected me to protect her like a mother would a child. i took her dying body to the vet but he couldnt save her. i couldnt hold her because i was too scared to touch her i was afraid i might hurt her more and she was already in pain. i was in shock! and i feel totally emtpy now that she's gone. and i miss her very much!!!! Thank you for listening to me. i will post her picture here next time. Thanks again.

 

[silver87sc]

Hello everyone. My Heart goes out to all who have had to feel the pain of loss. I have been a rescuer of American Pit Bull terriers for three years now. I still look for new information on the breed to keep myself informed, so that I may one day re-home some of my dogs.  I know quite a bit about the breed and obviously what they were bred for. Two weeks ago, I found out exactly what these animals were bred for.  And the destruction they leave in their wake. Short story, I lost my Sir Charles.

He was a WONDERFUL Pit/Boxer mix. Always friendly, always by my side when I went outside. There was nothing more interesting than whatever I was doing.

 I dont know what caused the problem to arise between Charles and one of the females in my yard (yess, we're all spayed and neutered here. NO BABIES!) but I have lost one of the best dogs I had. (all my animals have a 10x10 kennel with cattle fence re-enforcement. Charlie and MOOEY were the only dogs supposed to be out. Phoebe is an escape artist.)

And I do NOT and will NEVER promote fighting this breed or any other. I do not fight my animals. I re-habilitate and rehome. Thanks for listening to my story.

[kittylady]

We have had Tuffy since September of 05.  He was so sick we thought he would die then.  On the 29th of January he crawled into the dryer without being seen.  He didn't make it out alive.  We both feel so bad as well as the other cats that keep looking for him.  We have notified the shelters to remind pet owners to beware of dryers and watch their pets at times when in use.  We feel so bad and miss him so much.

[pleasenomore]

Jan 12th 2008 Kitt passed away... A sick dog no more. 

I miss you dearly my friend.

 

[abl703]

Hello everyone. My condolences to all who have lost a loved pet and to all who have grieved.

I lost my beloved Buster on Valentine's Day. He was an 8-year-old Boston Terrier. He had a splenic tumor, a large one. By the time we had the diagnosis  --  it took visits to 4 veterinarians over a 2-month period  --  it was too late.

I wrote more about it here, in case anyone would like to read some of my thoughts on Buster's last weeks as well as his last day -- a day that I will never forget.

My wife and I are so deeply saddened by this loss that we can hardly stand it. We know, however, that we will get over the grief, but the healing is going to take a while.

Buster, you were the best. No one could have asked for a better pup.

Andy

[ladyhitchhiker]

I haven't posted in a really long time.  But here's my new grief.

I used to live in Mississippi for two years and volunteered at the animal shelter every day. I fell in love with a little black and white kitten and worked with him for three months. One day the shelter manager sent him home with my aunt for me - she snuck him out. He was sick, and they had put to sleep 45 kittens at that shelter that day. She told me if he was going to make it, it would be because of me. But he couldn't. He was too sick. So what did Sheila do? She sent me home with another kitten. This one was a little siamese mix, a tabby with white, brown, grey and black markings. He was completely wild and scared of hands - so I didn't put him down literally for three days until he got over that; I'm surprised I don't have scars all over me. Sheila told me that he would take care of me, so I named him Linus, like the peanuts character. I was his blue blankie. Linus was the worst kitten that ever existed. He would wake me up every single half hour for the first year, to chew on me. He managed to drag around our poor foot tall x-mas tree his first Christmas. He didn't understand the word no for the first year, so to challenge some of this gnawing energy, I ended up teaching him tricks. He now knows sit, beg, fetch, speak, and paw. He became an excellent dance partner. (He loved the Beatles and would "swim" whenever he would hear them playing.)  He became the greatest cat ever. He also helped me survive losing my father and my step-daughter, and however many other family members. He has always been graceful and a little stoic, except when it came to food; then he became a chatter mouth.There will never be another cat like Linus. He fits me perfectly. And I will miss him forever. He is more than a cat. He is a staple in my life. Our apartment will seem empty without him. It will be like getting rid of a piece of furniture, but more, you understand. It will seem that empty. When I was sick, he cared for me. When I was upset, he would find some way to make it better. When I thought there was no way I could ever work at such and such place, he gave me the motivation to go into work, because I had to care for him. He tried to get along with everyone. He calmed me when I was upset. He gave everything of him. He helped me cook, and kept the repairman amused. If I was sick, he would perch on my shoulder, and touch my face as if to say "It's okay. You'll be okay. I love you." Sometimes when I was sitting going to the bathroom he would come running from wherever and have to come in to touch my face with his paw. He just completely filled my heart and my life. He was my best friend. That's why I let him go. I needed to do the best thing for my friend. I would given up anything for him. But it wasn't enough.A friend told me that the reason why I was hurting so bad is so that he didn't have to.  I can live with that.  He should never have had to hurt. I held Linus as he passed away. He never closed his eyes. He didn't want to leave his mom, even though he was so tired. I put him in his favorite position - floppy head, with his head upside down and his arms stretched out. I wrapped him in the blankie that I bought only because it was Linus-colored, his first toy (a purple hippo), his Christmas stocking I made for him and the blue blankie I just knitted last week for him. We buried him in a blue plastic container with a lid on it. Blue for his eyes. He looked very comfortable. He is buried up on my mother-in-law's property since that home will stay in the family, and then when it is Mandarin's time he can lay to sleep next to him. He is buried next to two of my mother-in-law's kitties so he doesn't have to be alone, and he is in the middle of a flower garden overlooking the property and her mass amount of trees. I think that's the best I could do.Hopefully they will soon find a cure for FORL.  What a horrible disease.  What a horrible way to live.  And with the complications he suffered, well, I just didn't want him to suffer any more.I will love you until the end of time.My friend, my love, my son.