Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Letters to my husband


backyarder1

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I recently started doing something that has been giving me a lot of comfort. Anyone who hasn't suffered the loss of someone close to them might think I was crazy or delusional or in denial. But I have started writing little notes to my husband. Kind of like little letters or little emails or little journal entries, but they are to him.

Things like:

"Dear Tommy, today I transplanted two of the azaleas in the back yard. Remember those two that were almost hidden by the bromeliads? Well I moved them out where they can be seen better."

Just silly little things like that. But it is bringing me lots of comfort to do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Backyarder1 I think that is really cool. I may borrow that idea and start writing notes to Frank. One of the things I miss the most is talking to him at the end of the work day. He could always help me put things in perspective and make me laugh. Thank you for sharing that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
odetoanoddity

This is a very good idea :)

I lost my boyfriend on the 24th of November this year and I began writing letters to him on the 27th. I find it’s been really therapeutic for me and has seriously eased my grief. I’ve been able to cope with each passing day somewhat better because I know that every night I’m disclosing my feelings to him and I know he’s read it all. I got the idea from some books on grief and bereavement and I’m glad I got into it. Now it’s become a part of my routine and it gives me comfort also.

Sometimes I also find that maybe I’m getting delusional and crazy too! But that’s not the case at all, if it brings you comfort, then go for it! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I have a document that I started shortly after I lost my Tom that contains memories. Many of these memories are small things that no one else knew about my Tom. Like - my Tom hated using a dinner fork as he didn't like metal touching his teeth. Whenever possible he'd use a salad fork. That may be a silly little memory, but it is a memory that no one else has. Some days it's too painful to write anything and other days I can't stop writing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

My husband and I did letters for years so after he passed I continued to do so. brings me comfort and that is a good thing. I can tell him things in a way that is special for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I never took down Danny facebook page, so I send him private messages and messages on his wall telling him how his daughter and I are doing. I know it is silly but it helps sometimes when I am having a hard day. Danny use to check his facebook a few times a day so I just imagine him doing it and smilling. He loved his daughter so much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
laurieglowacki1

I have written a letter or note almost everyday, it helps me so much.. I also talk to my husband often, daily. I need to do this right now

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I attended a VERY good grief support group last night and the woman leading the group suggested that everyone going through grief should keep a daily journal. She said that the best thing about it is that a few days or a few weeks or a few months down the road, when you feel like you aren't making any progress, you can look in the journal and see that you are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This actually does help. I've been using FB for it and yesterday I even went down to 2010 and seen how happy we were, the feelings I had with everything we did together. That made me sad but also made me realize that it wasn't all sickness and pain. I forgot about those times because I'd been taking care of him alone for so long that I have been on the verge of a breakdown for the past year. I just read back the things I wrote just after he died. I still feel the same now but for some reason it helps reading it back. Not sure why, maybe it makes me feel closer to him. I actually don't know, it's all sad but it helps...

 

This might sound crazy but when they picked up the hospital bed I found a shirt in that bed that he had wore the last few days. I smelled it and I about went through my knees. I'll never will smell that again. I have been sleeping with it wrapped around my neck but his scent is fading away now. I tried putting some of his cologne on it but I kind of ruined it with that. It's just not the same. Sigh...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Miekevson, I am so, so sorry for your loss. That is still so very recent. There are many people on this website who will help your through the rough times. Don't be afraid to reach out to us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Great ideas you all have!  I have been writing letters to my husband since he past on Nov 27/13 and talk to him often throughout the day and I find comfort it that.  It has been said that although I can not see him , he is still here .  So I tell him how much I love him and miss him so terribly bad and and wish he was here with me and ask him to help guide me through all the challenges I have to face.  I know he is still with me , he has to be , we had such a close love and bond that I feel he must be here. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

cheekey - I feel the same way as you.  I truly believe that my husband is right beside me.  He is guiding me and protecting me.  I talk to Jerry quite at bit, it does help.  I have a picture of him by my night stand that I talk to every night and I swear, sometimes it looks like he smiles more or blinks.  It is such a good picture of him, it totally captured him as he really was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.