I lost my step father

[jenisninja]

I know some people may wonder how the loss of a step parent would be so traumatic but it is. Before my mother even met my step father she was married to my father who was abusive. He punched and slapped my mom and brother frequently and one time tried swinging and ax at me. My mom wanted to escape but she didn't know how, she felt trapped. She spoke online to a man who lived in Rhode island, they started out being friends, he knew all about how my father was and offered my mom and us a place to stay just to get away from him. She took the offer, one day while my dad was at work she packed up the car and took us with her to Rhode island. We were there for three months before my brother and I had to go back or my mom would go to jail. so we went back and it didn't take long for my father to screw up again, with my brother and i showing up to school with bruises someone finally called dcyf. We lived with our grandmother for two years then went back up to Rhode Island. Where my mom and my soon to be step father welcomed us with open arms. Me and my brother were a little nervous about this new man being in our lives but little did we know he was looked down upon by his family for having us stay with him. His mother, aunt and father didn't like the fact that he took us in yet he still continued to care for us entirely, enough so that we didn't even know about all this until he died. we were living happily for years, than the summer of my freshman year of high school, my brother went off to the army and july 12,2008 My step father passed away suddenly. My mom and I found him, I almost passed out, I kept yelling that he might be sick or just unconscious. I called 911 and that was it one of my worst nightmares came true, my whole family's life was turned upside down, my mom started drinking and taking ambien and i couldn't sleep at night i was failing in school. I was in ap classes but quickly failed out of that. My brother was stuck in boot camp all alone to deal with the depression of losing the most selfless person we had ever met. to this day, five years later it still hurts like it did when it happened and I remember that day like it was yesterday.

[ModKonnie]

Jenisninja,

I am very sorry about the loss of your stepdad. While grieving has no time limits, after five years, I think perhaps you may need to seek professional help in order to appropriately deal with your emotions and truly begin to heal in a healthy manner.

Perhaps you and your family could go together, or if one of you seeks counseling help, the others may gain from it too.

We will be thinking of you,

ModKonnie

[Melo]

My step-dad just passed away and we buried him on the 3rd of October, 2018 at Fort Bliss. We had a very hard relationship and it was more of a “love-hate” relationship, but I still loved him and I’m very sad he has passed. At the funeral, I was pushed out of the “family” pew. At the service I was not introduced to the Captain and then for photos, I was asked to “step-out” of the photo because they only wanted "his children”. I am a part of this family too and have been a part of the family since before 1970 when my mom married him. 

I am saddened that it has come down to this and I believe I will never see my step-brothers and step-sisters again.  I know the funeral wasn’t about ME, but I am (or thought I was) a part of the family.  I was around him and saw him way more than his 5 children ever did, way more!  I can't seem to get over how they pushed me out.  I might as well not have even attended the funeral as I felt like an outcast. 

I'm sure some of you will say I need counseling.  Well I am in counseling and have been for a very long time.  It is also because of my step-dad that I am in counseling.  I have PTSD because of the abuse he put upon my mother and have never been able to get beyond that.  But that should not stop me from being a part of the family and being in the same pew and pics as the step-siblings!

Rest in peace Papa-Ken and may God bless your grumpy soul.