Poignant Memories

[Too Sad]

This is truly a difficult time of the year for anyone who has lost a loved one.

I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with the unexpected death of my partner of 25 years, who passed in September, 2013.

The Christmas music is calming, while at the same time bringing enormous tears and crying.

Am I alone in my thoughts?

[Kurtybearhugs]

Too Sad, Oh Dear, Where do I begin? When my wife died, suddenly the meaning of the lyrics of just about every song I heard had changed, and now instead of being about breaking up, the words were about death and grief. As for the Christmas songs, my wife dearly loved Christmas, and she really came to life at that time of year. So for at least the first two Christmases, they were off limits, as well. Soon after my wife died, I met and started dating a widow (4 months for me, and two months for her) (I know, I know, but as least we had each other for support, and we are still friends) and between the two of us music buffs, we had a long list of songs that were off limits. We respected each other's wish not to hear certain songs. This is no longer the case for me, and I can only assume the same is true for her. Except for "Tears in Heaven", by Eric Clapton, I don't have much trouble singing or listening to any songs now, after four years.

We both loved to sing karaoke, and we both have our own machines for that also, and many times when we were having a party with all of our grief buddies, one of the group would try to sing a song, and have to stop because they would start to cry. Either just too sad, or it reminded them of happier times with their late partner.

I remember the first time I came across the song entitled "Think of Laura", (my wife's name) by Christopher Cross, I didn't recognize the title, so I listened to it with great interest. As soon as I heard the music, I remembered it from when it first came out on the top 40 list, but I really never noticed the lyrics, because it was a slow song, and that was / is just not my thing. It is about a young woman named Laura who died suddenly, and much 'too young'. You can imagine how I cried over that one. After that, whenever I felt like crying, I would just put that song on repeat, and go for it.

In other words, yes. lol Thanks for that one, that was a great question. Hang In There..... Love Ya!!! Kurt

[Silvergirl61]

My Dennis was a musician. he often used song lyrics to express emotions and feelings.. and we shared a love of music of all types. Music is one of the strongest emotional experiences we have...and it can reach the deepest part of you..so no, you aren't alone. Some songs will literally turnme into a sobbing wreck yet, and maybe always will///but as time goes by i am able to listen to more of it..and it brings back better times , too.

[backyarder1]

Hi Too Sad. There seem to be way too many of us in Florida. I live on the Space Coast, too.

When my hubby died, I couldn't listen to his iPod at all. And most of the Christmas songs AND shows are way too sentimental. But I just keep flipping channels until I find something that can calm me down.

My hubby had just made a slideshow of fishing photos and had added the song "I'm Alive and Well." You can imagine what THAT does to me when I listen to it.

We need to keep crying. Its okay.

[tnwulf0513]

No, not even close to alone. Shari liked a variety of music and artists. I can't even listen to the radio on the way to and from work because I am afraid one of her "favorite" songs will come on. The tv is the same way. I have trouble finding things to watch because she had so many programs she liked as well as a multitude of programs we watched together.