I Miss Him So...

[missyouhoney811]

Anna, take care of yourself and get well.  Linda, I am so happy you found classes for ZUMBA.  It makes me feel so happy and young.

I am going to my HEAD DOCTOR  today........hopefully he will release me.

Zumba for me is probably a month away.   I do miss it.  Because of an ass hole my life and routine were screwed up.  The jerk is in jail and I hope to keep him there for a long time.  No reason for him to be out walking the streets getting in more trouble or causing pain for others.  People like that should be used for land fill. I am all in favor of bringing the cops back from the 60's.  Things were taken care of the way they should be.  The crime bastards of the 60's did not walk away from crime the way they do today.  People actually got punished back in those days.  With just cause.  Today, we feed them give them medical attention some go to school and they have a roof over their head.  I just don't understand.   I am all in favor of bringing the dark knight back to clean the streets up.   

Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

Bad dreams last night....the kind where I couldn't quite reach Rod no matter how I tried. I could see him but he wouldn't answer the cell phone, he wouldn't turn around when I called his name. Not sure what brought all that on. Makes it hard to get up in the morning.

Glad you're feeling better, Anna. Scary being that sick. Same for you, Dorothy and Linda. November sucks.

[armaiti]

Mary Jo, I'm sorry you had those dreams.  Those are tough ones.  Hopefully you'll have a sweet dream with him soon.

I just got back from a little walk.  I have to take it slow, but I do feel my strength is returning.  I started taking my vitamins again today, feel like I'm eating enough that they won't upset my stomach.  I had to dig through some bags of clothes I'd planned to take to the local resale store to trade because they were too small in order to find some jeans that would actually stay on me since I got so thin! 

By the way, for those of you on Facebook on the Beyond Indigo group, I posted a topic with a question, something I wanted to keep more private (not from others on this group, just from the public, since anyone can see this).  But I don't know if it lets anyone know I've posted something.  So maybe those of you on Facebook could check it out and let me know what you think?

Blessings,

Anna

[rodless]

Thanks, Anna. I haven't found the BI group on facebook. I will look for it and see what I can do.

[aprilmoonflower]

Hi Mary Jo! It's private so by invite only (will send you one now!) if anyone else wants one message me at facebook! My name is April Horton if you don't know.

[aprilmoonflower]

Hi Mary Jo! It's private so by invite only (will send you one now!) if anyone else wants one message me at facebook! My name is April Horton if you don't know.

[aprilmoonflower]

sorry for the double posting. ackk!

Anna- I'm so glad you are feeling better! yay!

Michele- that sounds tough. I hope your son is doing well! It's so hard to be a teenager let alone combined with grief..I feel for you and him..

MaryJo- Hope things are going a little better for you as the weekend nears!

Dorothy-  Hope you are healing..That really sucks.

Zumba sounds intriguing btw.. I am just trying to do yoga at least once a week! I feel like I need more time in a day with my kids being so small and trying to work from home (the new man works from home too!) so it's kinda cool) I need to find some more homeschooling activities for the kiddos when we get back from AZ though as it will be snowy and they will go stir crazy..

Ok well I am up late tonight working..fun, fun! need more coffee!!!!

[armaiti]

You can drink some coffee for me April since I can't have any for a while!

[lindat]

I have had a really nice couple of days.  Friday I celebrated my first year of survival - thanks to you guys I am still half way sane   Yesterday was my birthday and my sister and brother in law took me to see the Rockettes and out to dinner.   Really nice day.  Hope you ladies are doing okay.  xoxox

[armaiti]

Linda, Happy Belated Birthday!!!  I'm so glad you had a great day. :dude:

I'm getting stronger each day, still holding at 120 pounds, which is actually my "happy" weight.  The new kitten keeps me laughing too.  I'm thinking of not having a Xmas tree this year, because of the kitten, and in a way it's a bit of a relief.  I always cry when I see the special ornaments Ishaq and I gave each other.  So maybe I'll just decorate the house with some pine boughs and leave it at that.  Sure beats dealing with a knocked over Christmas tree at 3 AM!

Blessings,

Anna

[armaiti]

Well, tomorrow will be the third Thanksgiving I spend without Ishaq.  I've been real up and down, partly because of still healing from being so sick and partly from folks pushing me to "go be with people" on Thanksgiving.  I don't want to go hang out with someone elses family.  So I'm cooking a small turkey here, just me and my cats and that's fine with me.  I have a friend coming on Friday for dinner and she and I can have "2nd Thanksgiving" dinner. 

Hope everyone gets through the holiday ok.

Blessings,

Anna

[lindat]

Anna, sounds like the perfect Thanksgiving to me....  My sister and brother in law are taking dinner to his parents house - they have been sick.  I have been told that I am expected to go with them....  I will do what I have to do to stay in line, but your Thanksgiving sounds much better to me.   Hope it is a peaceful day for everyone, we really do have a lot to be thankful for and every day is a blessing.   

[missyouhoney811]

I have reservations to go out for Thanksgiving dinner with John Robert and Vanessa.  I have been so hungry for a turkey sandwich.   I put my 20 lb turkey in the oven at 8:30 PM so I think I will watch TV and maybe drink a couple glasses of wine while babysitting the turkey.  I might tell them to cancel the reservation since I already have the turkey and stuffing...........making the gravy, mashing potatoes and adding a few vegetable sides is no big thing to me.  I also have a Paula Dean pecan pie (ordered from QVC)....It was out of the question for me to do any cooking for Thanksgiving they thought it was too much for me since  my accident.  I can't wait to talk to them in the morning.....they will be shocked. 

My Christmas Tree is up..........it really looks good.  I still need the tree skirt and the angel for the top of the tree.  John Robert will have to go up in the attic to get it down for me tomorrow.  Normally, I would go up in the attic myself..........just a little scared going up with  no one around..................never know when my head will go goofy on me.  So I am better off waiting for him. 

Next week I have four doctor appointments.  What an exciting life I am living this past month.  I would just love to be in a room with that bastard that hit me.  I can't wait until I get released from the doctors. 

Blessings to all.

Dorothy

[mishknit]

great happy thanksgiving love to you all!

whatever plans we have will be good...i knowit.

we do what we need to do.

this year barney and i are going to my friend (best friends) new home near san diego...

we have gone to the same place for thanksgiving for years..and they're not doing it this year, which is actually a relief. i don't know if i could have let it go by myself.

i am so looking forward to seeing our friends and getting away, even tho only for 1 night.....

great blessings to you all.

we do have much to be thankful for...perhaps we just have to look a little harder!

peace, michele

[missyouhoney811]

Good Night Everyone.................Happy Belated Thanksgiving............We ate at home everything turned out great......even my new stuffing that I made.... it went over big.  One problem I will never be able to make it again because I am clueless on all the ingredients I put in.  It was my new creation for the day.  Head injuries are a wonder.....

Blessings,

Dorothy

[armaiti]

Good night Dorothy!

I had a nice quiet day...my new kitty Sequoyah turned into a turkey maniac after his first taste of turkey skin.  I went for a walk along the river, and walked farther than I have since I've been sick.  I may brave the mall tomorrow, since I can walk there from here, it's just over the bridge across the river, which is nice.  Get my dad some pj's for Xmas. 

I hope we all have sweet dreams with our beloveds tonight!

Love and Blessings,

Anna

[missyouhoney811]

Good Morning, I am on my second morning cup of coffee.  I have decided to be one of the many crazy people and venture to the mall for BLACK FRIDAY......It has been many, many years since I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving.  I have a little bit of wild money to shop with since I hit on the night time lottery on Wednesday and the day time lottery on Thursday.  It is money from heaven so it must be spent.  Tonight, I may go to the show with John Robert and Vanessa. 

Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

I had a great Thanksgiving....12 adults, a new baby and 3 dogs at my niece's house.  My niece's dog is a border collie and he kept my scottie in line by "herding" her when she got too close to the edge of the yard. It was so funny!

Both my kids are home as well as my son's fiance and they all left at 3:30am to do the Black Friday thing in a nearby city. I think I'd rather work!They brought me a blow up Snoopy dog house and some lighted Peanuts characters for outside. They're all set up and really cute.

I'm doing really well right now. Not sure how long it will last but will take the peace while I have it. Good to hear from all of you and wish you the same.

Mary Jo

[missingcurtis]

I'm glad to hear that a lot of  you had a good Thanksgiving day.

I would have been our 39th wedding anniversary and we were married on a Thanksgiving day.  I don't think I would get married on a holiday if I had to do it over again.

I visited with two of my sisters and their families and then came home and took two tylenol and took a long nap.

I didn't hear a word from my so called in-laws.  It is as if I was never married and he never existed.

Oh well....... I guess I have accepted how they are. 

Now to get through December...........

Debbie...........Missing Curtis

[airymoon]

we had a quiet thanksgiving just me and the kids. Its the first one we celebrated since kurt died and the kids said they wanted to do it.It just seened like another meal to me nothing important. My son did say we forgot to say our thanks like we usually do. but nobody really had anything to say. I al;so didnt hear from my inlaws and it didnt surprise me. Actually i think i am better off this way they never mention kurt when im around them it's like he never existed and we were never married so on to better things without them in the way

becky

[aprilmoonflower]

Hope everyone had a good holiday. As a vegetarian I don't even really do Thanksgiving really but we had a nice quiet day! We have been looking at lots of rentals this past week then today found a farm we may check out tomorrow! (35 acres in VT!) I'm sooo freaking excited!! :)   please keep your fingers crossed for us!

[lindat]

April, I am so happy for you!!!

Dorothy, your luck definitely seems to be holding

Michele and MJ, you guys are in my thoughts....

Anna, so glad you are doing better...

My sister and I had a girls day out and went shopping, to the movies (Twilight) and then to lunch.   We had a great time.   Jim seems to be doing okay in CA and still calls every 3 or 4 days.   I hope to be starting school in Jan, so that should keep me busy.

Hope everyone is doing okay...

[armaiti]

I had a really nice afternoon watching the Ducks Civil War game with friends.  Afterwards a friend gave me a ride home and I was showing her this mansion on the hill near there that has like 500,000 Xmas lights - I kid you not.  It was something Ishaq and I always did together, going to look at those lights.  But it felt ok showing it to her and talking about how Ishaq and I did that.  She is actually one of Ishaq's students and really misses him too. 

I'm still thinking about getting a tree, though I will have to wire it to the ceiling to keep Sequoyah from knocking it over.   I have an art sale next weekend at the B&B across the street, so I have a lot to get ready for this week,  plus another friend coming from Ashland and she and I are going to a powwow on Saturday.  And I heard from Ishaq's sister that she and her husband will most likely come visit me in December and we'll go up and see Ishaq's son and daughter-in-law and our granddaughter, so that's good.  I'm getting in the spirit of things and thinking of all the blessings Ishaq brought to me life, and still brings.  So I'm doing good now, hope it can last through the holidays.

Dorothy, I can't believe your luck! I sure wish some of it would rub off on me, I could use the money. 

And April, good luck with the farm, that sounds awesome! 

I'm still holding at 120 pounds and I'm starting to exercise more.  I walked over to the mall and back yesterday and felt much stronger.  I want to start my Tae Bo and get strong and fit again. 

Hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend,

Blessings,

Anna

[missingcurtis]

There haven't been any posts all week.  I hope everyone is doing fine or maybe the board is not working?

Next Sunday, the 14th, will be the 3 year anniversary date of when Curtis passed away.  When I stop and think of all the changes that I have made, I still am not sure I made all the right ones.

I had always heard not to move for at least a year.  I honestly thought that I didn't have a choice.  But now I know that I did.  And I know I can not go back but I still wish I had not been so hasty.  

That said, I am glad I am near my sisters and that I have my health.  I  have made new friends and renewed some old friendships.  I have been able to volunteer at the local library and have been able to help a couple of my sisters with some bills.  I just wish I knew if this is where God really wants me to be.

I hope everyone has the best possible Christmas.  I know it is not easy.  We didn't have any kids so I spend a lot of time alone.  My family does try to include me but at times I just feel out of place.

Debbie.................Missing Curtis

     

[lindat]

Hi Debbie,  I think the board is working, but I know that some of us do communicate on facebook, so maybe that is why there is less activity.

I know so well what you are talking about.   However most of my changes weren't by choice, so in some ways I guess it was easier - I seldom second guess because I did the best that I could do at the time.   Perhaps it would help you to look at it that way too, besides it is what it is and there aren't any do-overs.   You did make the best decisions that you could at the time, or you wouldn't have made those choices.  It is hard for us to look back now and remember exactly what our thought processes were at the time, so we have to trust ourselves.   Katrina took away most of Terry's stuff and within 2 weeks after he died, I had to move and I kept moving - I don't remember most of the rest of the first year, except that I just wanted to die.  For the last year I have been fighting cancer and found out that I really do want to live.   I look for blessings for every pain, not in a religous way, but just to keep myself balanced.   I have found that the blessings outweigh the negative and just that has kept me going and most of the time I am smiling.  I still miss him so much every day, but I believe that he would be very proud of the person I have become today.   I have some tests on Mon. and Tues. to see if my cancer has spread to my bones, if it hasn't, I am going back to school to get an associates degree for a new career.  I feel that life is just beginning at 62 and I hope I have some time to find another new me.   I don't know where I will be in 5 years, but I know I won't be living in MI in my sister's home, even though I am so grateful for it now.    I am anxious to be past all this and into the future, but as my grandma used to tell me - don't wish your life away    There are so many that have it so much worse than me, I am so lucky.   I hope that your life turns around and you figure out where you are supposed to be.   Life is  short, we only really have today.   I hope your today is a good one....

[missyouhoney811]

Hi Linda, I have nothing of  interest to post.  I did not get released from the doctor which means I had to cancel my Vegas trip for 12/8 and no Puerto Rico engagement party for me on 12/21.  I think the only reason that I am not truly upset and depressed is for the simple fact I could have been dead.....it was not my time to go so I guess I will have a future to look forward to.  Not certain what it is yet. 

The inside of my house is decorated but I did nothing on the outside.  The weather is too cold to play around decorating outside.  It does look nice inside....

Hopefully, I will get John's grave blanket within the week.  I just dread driving the distance to pick it up.  Normally it would not bother me but my bruised brain gets very tired these days which has slowed me down.  I just can't wait to get released so I can start Zumba again. 

Hope everyone is having a good evening.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[lindat]

Dorothy,  I am so glad that you are alive and going to be okay.   You will be up and going and dancing soon, so please relax and heal.  Sending lots of hugs your way, and best wishes for a very happy new year filled with zumba and all things nice....

[missyouhoney811]

Thanks Linda.

My prayers and good wishes are being sent your way for the testing you have to do this week.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[airymoon]

Hi everyone

I hope your holidays are going better than mine. The man i was seeing and i have broken up and today i talked to him and he said he has been wondering for some time if our relationship was what he wanted. I sensed something was wrong and i wold ask him but he just said nothing and that he still wanted to be together and get married. I couldnt take the mixed messages any more and i couldnt be sad anymore so i ended it then i told him i didnt want it to end i just want to know what was going on and that is when he told me. He has been such an important part of my life since kurt died first as a friend and then as a boyfriend I'm not sure how to handle all this. I think I have learned through this that having a relationship just isnt worth the pain and i have no desire to ever date again

[missyouhoney811]

I think that is the reason I have become such a free spirit.  I feel anything I need I can give (or get) myself.  I do not wish to have anyone to take care of in the remainder of my years.  Which I hope are many.  Through all the grief after the loss of my John I never want anything to come near how I felt in my heart for almost two years.  He was and will always be my soul mate........no one could ever fill his shoes....so I see no reason to walk down that road again to get hurt in any way.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[DawnFisher]

I just want to remind everyone that we receive many private messages from Beyond Indigo users - people who are grieving but have not been able to post for whatever reason.  Many are shy, many are wary of posting online, many don't know what to write, some feel inadequate when it comes to writing their emotions into text.  Some are grieving so much that they can't focus on a single thought. But, they gain strength and encouragement reading your posts.  Facebook is a wonderful social network...but don't forget Beyond Indigo's forum and how it draws people together in a common bond.  You are very valuable to this network!  We appreciate your posts and the way you help one another!  Especially those who are new to this journey called "grief."

Thanks!

Dawn

Beyond Indigo

[lindat]

Hi Dawn,  I don't think you have to be concerned that we won't be here for anyone new that posts, most of us check in here every day even if we don't post.  Beyond Indigo was truly a life saver for me.  I have been coming here for more than 2 years and will always be grateful for the support and caring of all the wonderful people here.  

[armaiti]

Yeah, Dawn, I agree - I check in here regularly too.  Facebook is good for a few of us who all came on about the same time and helps us stay in touch with each other, but I agree this is a good place to post.  I know that folks come here and read who don't post, and maybe some of our posts can help them cope with what they are going through.

Dorothy,  I'm sorry you won't be going on your trip.  Maybe after the first of the year I'll even look into going to Vegas and could meet you - that would be fun, as I've never been there.  And I know about some great belly dance clubs that are in Vegas we could check out too, if you are interested!

Linda, I'm sending you prayers for the testing too.  I think it's awesome that you are going to go back to school and start a new career!

Becky, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your man friend.  I know that feeling about not wanting anyone else...in my case I just don't think anyone could be anywhere near as great as Ishaq, so what's the point?  And I'm pretty happy hanging out with other friends and stuff.  But I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

I've been cleaning like crazy - Ishaq's sister and her husband are coming today, instead of at the end of the week, so I've been trying to get things in order.  I'm excited as they'll be here a whole week and we can get the tree and decorate it together and also see my granddaughter as well.  The weather here today was beautiful, and I'm feeling pretty healthy - except for a I-ate-too-much-fudge-last-night headache! 

Blessings,

Anna

[rodless]

I was feeling SO sorry for myself this morning as I cleared snow from my driveway....now after reading Linda and Dorothy's posts, I will just be grateful to be able to do it! Sometimes I need a kick in the butt and I thank you for being the one I got today.

This is the third Christmas without Rod and so far I am finding it to be ok. Rod and I were always happiest just having a quiet time together and I miss that a lot. I've turned into a lumpy couch potato. I think if I'd turn my heat up so I don't have to be wrapped in a blanket, that might help. I know I need to get moving, motivated or something. I'm going to California the last week in January with two cousins. We have a condo rented between San Diego and LA. For me this is a really wild and crazy thing so maybe it will shake me out of my doldrums. At least it will be nice to get out of snow country...IF I can get to the airport.

Becky, I went through a similar relationship problem after my divorce umpteen years ago. It was a learning experience and made me more aware of what I truly wanted and out of that disappointment came Rod later so hang in there!

Everyone, take care. I think of you often and maybe we can get back to posting on this board. I find facebook fun but miss this.

Mary Jo

[DawnFisher]

I just wanted to post that message to remind you all how important you are to Beyond Indigo!   Thanks for the positive comments!

Dawn

Beyond Indigo

[missyouhoney811]

Anna, it would be great to see you in Vegas............Mary Jo, San Diego is soooooooo close to Vegas.......do you think you could take the short flight?  Hopefully, that is when I will schedule my trip.  Remember my suite does not costs me a thing......I would get two king size beds and a couch that opens.  Keeps this in mind.  Check out the Venetian on the net....

Blessings,

Dorothy

[airymoon]

thank you for your posts. most of my friends are married so they have thier own thing to do. one of the things that was bothering me is that we werent even acting like friends and he was my friend way before kurt died. He is still thinking on whether he wants to work it out or not . He says he loves me but he wants to be sure a relationship is what he wants. He has been feeling that way for a few weeks. He shlould have told me and we could have talked it through instead of this big blow up. I think what i realize now is that i dont thik i want to be back together. He wasnt there more times than he was and it was always a lot of drama. Plus his wife will always tell him what to do because of there daughter. he refuses to set boundaries with his wife because she might not let him see so much of his daughter. As far as meeting someone else. I think ill just enjoy my kids and getting them to where they should be and if i meet someone i do and if i dont i dont. I do know the next person i see will want to be with my kids as much as me  and if not than he is not for me. No one will ever campare to Kurt but maybe he is picking out someone close for us. Who knows. For some reason the holidays are harder this year i think the numbness has worn off and reality is setting in. You are all so lucky planning avegas trip I have never been and would love to go one day.

[missyouhoney811]

Airymoon, you sound as if you are getting your life together.  I believe you should put yourself and your children first.  Whatever is out their in this big, wonderful world for you I truly believe it will find you as it will for all of us.  We can't give up.......for starters our soul mates would never want us to.  Life is a journey we must all travel. We might not like all the roads but we truly do not pick our destinations.  I believe everything is preplanned for us.  We can try to change the map in life but somehow it goes back to the original plan.  Try to be happy and lift your heart and spirits up. Just remember we are all here on a visit.  We must make the best of things whatever it takes to put a big smile on our face DO IT.  As far as needing a man to make us feel fulfilled I personally think that is a lot of bull. In real life it usually is the man that drags us down.  I know we all have needs and wants but we also must be careful and protect our heart.  Just remember before giving your heart to someone make sure he is worthy to receive it.  Also, anytime you think you would want to travel to Vegas.......let met know.......as I mentioned before my suite at the Venetian is free.

Today, is 28 months for my John............still talk to him, still miss him and yes the clock still plays.  He is still here with me. 

Love never ends

Its beauty lingers on

long after the moment has passed

Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

Becky,

I thought after my divorce having a man would "cure" all my problems. I dated a guy for a year and the relationship ended badly because neither of us had really dealt with the fallout of our marriages. When that ended I decided I needed to put my kids ahead of myself and get my act together before I got caught in something wrong. It took a couple of years and then when Rod came into my life I was ready. And it was wonderful! It just ended too soon.

It's a hard thing to give up on any relationship even if you know it's not quite right but I promise you'll get through it and come out better for it. Will be sending encouraging thoughts to you!

Mary Jo

[airymoon]

Your good thoughts and vibrations must be working because today I feel a new attitude starting. I do know I want to be friends with this man and I never thought having him in my life would cure missing my husband. Our relationship progressed because he was the one who cried with me over losing kurt and it grew from there. I guess I was what he needed to help get through his hard time and he was what I needed to help me get through part of mine. As far as a permenant thing I dont think I ever thought it would be that. I think right from the beginning i knew him too well for that. I am not going to look for a new relationship. I am going to fill my life with family and friends and let life happen and try to enjoy it.

So how does that work Dorothy, I give you a date and you give me the suite or you have to be there? Like I said I have never been there. The closest I've gotten were the casinos in michigan and I am usually in and out in 20 minutes. (run out of quarters)

The man I was seeing always said he wold take me but he could never find the time. How perfect would it be if I went and hit the big one, Of course i would have to get some of your luck.

Today is the final exam for my last class.Then I will have my associates degree in early childhood education. My next step is to see what i can turn that into and make my mark in the world as me not as kurt's wife or my kids mom but as me. All of them are part of who I am but not all of who I am and I think its time i found out for myself. Thank you all for being here for me. Hope everyone has happy holidays 

[rodless]

What a difference a day makes, huh???

In Iowa that associate degree must be a requirement as I have a friend slogging through it and hating it. She's worked at the school district 16 yrs. as an aide, only has about 6 to go but in order to keep her job she had to qualify. I dropped my teaching certificate over 10 yrs. ago when I decided I like public libraries better but I remember all the classes and requirements. Good for you, Becky!

[rodless]

PS Becky...I should have said: get your paint gun out and go shoot a reindeer! It will make you feel better.

[airymoon]

MJ the degree is a requirement here too. I've been in the same school system for 13 years and i have to have this by 2011 to keep my job. As far as the new attitude goes i talk a good talk but it isnt that easy i still miss him and i wonder right now if he is with his ex wife and that is why he cant decide. I will call those my weak moments. What im really afraid of is the anger soming back and all that goes with it. ackkk can i back up 3 years and make my husband get all the medical tests i wanted him too? no but it would be nice.

[missyouhoney811]

Becky, I have to be in Vegas to book the room.   So lets hope and pray I get released from the doctors so I can start traveling again.  Let me know what dates would be good for you...............I will book the Venetian.......and to the slots, lights and noise we go.  It really is a great time.  Like I said it will be a large suite but I have to be there.......keep me posted on what dates look good for you in early 2009.

Keep your chin up.............remember life could be worse.

Blessings,

Dorothy

[rodless]

Gosh, this is almost like the old days when we all posted daily...   I wish I could back up three years, too, and stay there. It was the last of the good times. But life doesn't let us do that and maybe that's a good thing. Who knows??? Maybe there are good times ahead again.

[missque]

IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEE..... well until Jan 09 that is- today was my last day of classes/teaching and my holiday begins NOW!

I haven't been on here in quite some time im not sure if it because i'm so busy with school or because i dont feel the need too... the second one worrys me more because i think that it is the case and i do not want to forget him... He visited me one night about a month ago- i woke up in the middle of the night almost spazzed out due to shock but i saw him... it happened when i was younger with my dad also so i know its occured before. my god-mom is very spiritual and she tends to see people all the time so i'm pretty good with it- it was late in the night i simple said i love you but you need to go for now --- scared me and its not supposed to when people visit; something my god mom told me a few years ago is that if you ask them to leave they have no choice they have too...

i tried to scan the pages to catch up on things; dorthy- so glad to hear you are alright; im sure there was someone else looking out for you that day:)

April- i due to facebook you have 2 cats thats great!

Baca- we seem to have a similar thing; i forgot my password also and had to resend for it lol

to all those i've missed i hope you are all doing well and slowly getting ready for the holiday season.. miss you all!

[armaiti]

I've been having a great visit with Ishaq's sister and her husband.  They took me out to dinner at one of my favorite places, where Ishaq and I always went for birthdays and anniversaries.  Kai has been doing a lot of cooking and she is amazing at cooking, and Chris does the dishes, so I feel very pampered!  They are not big into Christmas either so we decided no tree, especially since the kitten is knocking things over left and right!  He is soooo big and fast, but clumsy sometimes. 

Sunday we are going up to see Ishaq's son and daughter in law and our granddaughter.  Should be a fun time.  Kai and Chris are leaving on Monday, but just having them here for a week feels like a real present.

We watched a beautiful movie last night - The Mistress of Spices.  Just amazing - I highly recommend it!

Glad to see everyone posting here too!

Blessings,

Anna

[airymoon]

Dorothy I would love to take you up on the offer My dates are usually open and if not i will open them.  its funny when i tell people about you guys on the board I always say i have a friend or my friend in.... and I havent even met any one yet

[missyouhoney811]

Miss, you sound really great.................keep things going the way they are and continue with your spirits high.  Every day I am improving but I hate not being able to do my Zumba the doctor said for me to walk 15 minutes a day...........that does not excite me at all.  I have to get back to class and shake, shake, shake and do my thing lol........I am blessed to be here.  John still takes care of me and watches over me.

Becky, when I get discharged from the doctor I will schedule Vegas.  Remember girls the invite is out there.

Linda, where are you?  How did the doctor appointments go?  Sending you love, hugs and blessings.

My friend Renee is having her Christmas party tonight.  I was debating whether or not to go.  I think I will go.  I still have her birthday present that never got to her last month so I think it is time to deliver it.  We usually go out on our birthdays for dinner but I was not able to do that this year because of that *** hole that hit me. 

Remember to TRY to keep your spirits high especially this time of the year. 

Blessings,

Dorothy

[lindat]

Hi Dorothy,  I'm here.  I had a 2 hour MRI on Mon. and another 2 hour MRI on Tues. - they gave me the results on CD but the weather has been so bad that I won't be able to get them to the Dr. until Monday when I go for a MUGA scan for my heart.   Hopefully I will get the result from the oncologist when I go on Wed.   I have been working, but not much because it is very slow.  Hopefully they will come thru with some help for the big 3 on Monday or things will get very bad here - and it is already pretty bad.  Other than that I am in too much pain to go to curves or Zumba and it is too bad outside to walk, so I know what you mean.  I'm goin a little stir crazy when I can get my head to stop thinking too much    This too will pass....  thank you for the hugs and the prayers.   I am so glad that you are doing better!!!  You will be back to normal in no time at all.   I hope all of you are having a peaceful weekend.  xoxox