Adults Who Have Lost Their Parents

[raelz79]

Hi Paula, thank you for your kind words. How are you coping now?? I know that i am stillnot coping and i am not expecting to so early after losing mum, but i also know that i am going to need some help so i am looking for a grief counsellor near me. Do you still have your father with you or has he also passed on?? I hope things are a little easier for you each day. My heart is with you in more than just understanding.

[paula7777]

hi raelz, i have considered a loss counsellor too. but saw one after i had to but my dog to sleep after he ravaged my dad i became very down and my gp referred me to this counselor. she wasnt much help at all! i thought losing my lovely dog was hard nothing compares to the pain of losing your mum does it? i smiled my way through xmas my mums birthday and my sons 12th birthday on saturday and i do alot of crying late at night when my boyfriend are all asleep. grief is seeming like a very lonely place to me right now. my dad is still alive he is 58 too. he has a new life with a new girlfriend him an mum where still married and dad is looking very down and guilty for being away on holiday when mum was dying. its been very hard . take care honey x x

[cindyguilo]

Hi my name is Cindy and I know what you are going through.  I just lost my mom 4 months ago, she lived with me and my husband for the last 19 years after my father died.  I have no children and my husband works quite a bit.  I feel so similarly to what you stated if you would want to talk on the phone.  please email me and let me know. 

God Bless,

Cindy

[cindyguilo]

Hi my name is Cindy and I too have lost both of my parents.  My father when I was 26 to cancer and my mom in March suddenly.  I'm 45 and also have no children, and the dog who was my baby had to be put down last month due to cancer.  It has been so very hard, and recently had to get put on Xanax for anxiety and higher dosage of an anti depressant.  I hate to do that, but it seems to be what I need right now at this point in my life.  I would love to talk with you.  If you are interested in hooking up on the phone. Please let me know.  I would love to talk to someone who understands.

Thanks, and God Bless

Cindy

[butterfly13]

Hi Cindy,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.I lost my mom(best friend)2years ago and still feel lost without her.My dad died in 2001 and I too am in my forties without children.I sometimes think that maybe if I had kids of my own my life now would still have meaning,something to focus on.I also lost 2 of my cats(my babies)one right before my mom and one right after my mom died,so I also understand how you feel after the loss of your dog too.Just take one day at a time,it is very hard and sometimes gets harder-if you can believe it-as time goes on.One thing I do find and I hate about myself is now I feel jealous of friends who still have both their parents.I always wonder why some people get to have both of their parents for so long when others like us don't?HUGS  to you!

[cindyguilo]

Hi thanks for your kind words.  I am sorry for  your loss as well.  I know what you mean about kids.  I really feel alone not having any kids.  I'm thinking about another pet possibly, but sometimes it seems so hard just tending to myself that I don't know if it would be fair to get a dog right now.  Sorry, just kind of rambling.  Please keep in touch.  Reading many of these postings has really helped me to see that I am not totally crazy and there are many people feeling similar.  (Just wish they lived close by).

Thanks again,

Cindy:)

 

[butterfly13]

Yes,reading these posts literally saved my life after my losses.I have met 2 wonderful friends through this forum.I think that you should get another dog,it will put a smile on your face,that is what my new kittens did for me.But don't rush into anything,your losses still are so new,you will know when the time is right.I always wonder why we seem to lose the ones we love one after another?They say God never gives you more than you can handle,but sometimes I wonder.It seemed to me He took everything I loved the most in a matter of months!Take care of yourself and write whenever you need to let it out!

[josephsmom90]

New upload, brand new twins at six months old, happier times.

[Kelly]

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com. 

Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family

[derek12]

I will be 48 years old next month and I am a single mother to three children. By most standards I am considered an "adult" yet with the recent loss of my mom (January 27th) I feel like a small child again. I lost my dad almost four years ago and hadn't really completely gotten over that loss and now I've lost my mom. I know it sounds silly but I feel like I'm all alone in the world. Just like I would have felt had I lost her when I was a kid. Logically I know I've been the parent for a number of years now since she was 82 and was not doing well physically getting around and such.

I know I'm in a depressive state and she wouldn't want that for me. Yet I don't know how to turn it around and turn this into a positive thing. I don't know yet how to relish all that she taught me and to celebrate and embrace her life. Instead I wake up and simply go through the motions of life. I don't have simple joy in my heart.

I've been reading books on people who have had near death experiences just so I can try somehow to connect to what she might have gone through. I am trying to keep her house and buy my brother and sister out not only because I need a larger home with three children, but I feel like that is where my parent's spirits would visit if anywhere. Does all this sound unusual? Is it normal to feel like this? I wish I was my old self again. I just don't know how to get there.

It's all normal and I am glad to know that you are doing many things to keep yourself well. Keeping the house is a good idea because that is where parent's spirits will visit. So that is great. I hope you get this message.

[derek12]

Hi my name is Cindy and I know what you are going through. I just lost my mom 4 months ago, she lived with me and my husband for the last 19 years after my father died. I have no children and my husband works quite a bit. I feel so similarly to what you stated if you would want to talk on the phone. please email me and let me know.

God Bless,

Cindy

Hope you are well now Cindy.

[derek12]

:(I lost my mother of 85 3 weeks ago. I am far from being a young child, but I certainly feel like one now. Since she started to need a cane and then a walker 3 years ago, I was her caretaker and companion.

We have always been close because I am an only child and unmarried. The last 3 years we have been especially close. Although the last years were difficult for my mother, I felt we were never closer.

Now she is gone, and it was unexpected. Even though I have eaten out alone many times over my lifetime, still have my own condo, and have vacationed on my own numerous times, it is all different now. She was always home, someone to come back to.

Spent New Years alone watching tv because of all the family & friends who professed to be concerned 3 weeks ago, no one thought to call or invite me over to watch tv or go out to restaurant-of course I would have willingly paid my way.

No one calls anymore to see how I am , and I am now really all alone in the world. I go out to eat 2x a day, just because I dont want to be by myself longer than I have to. Looking for a support or singles group, but it wont be the same.

Hope you are better now, feel free to write.