Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Recommended Posts

Does anybody mind that I'm posting here instead of under the grandparents topic? I'll explain why & if there are objections I'll go there. I am grieving the loss of my maternal grandparents. My mom & I lived with them all my life. She worked alot & I always looked to my grandparents for guidance. I'm 36 years old and feel deserted. My grandma was healthy & active at 83 yrs. old except for aches & pains & the doctor found an aortic aneursym which they said was nothing to worry about. On 10/07/05 @ 8 a.m. my grandma went to the hospital for back pain, they admitted her for tests. We got a phonecall @ 1 a.m. that she wasn't going to make it. We got there she was awake & alert but couldn't talk because of the tube in her throat for life support. They removed the machines & put her to sleep. We all left at about 5:30 a.m. to go home. Grandma died at 6:07 a.m. It was totally unexpected. Grandpa was the one with the heart problems who wasn't supposed to live. The drs. always were suprised that he did. He was very active too. It's been almost 3 yrs. & my heart is still broken. My mom & I took care of Grandpa since then. He died March 8, 2006. Now I am a total mess. I have cried everynight since she died & since he died it's only gotten worse. When I lost Grandma I lost my grandmother, my mother & my best friend. Now grandpa is gone & I don't know what to do, I miss them so much it physically hurts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful grandparents.  Take a deep breath and when you can; journal and write down the memories of them.  That's what I've started to do for my mom......

 

Again, I'm so sorry.

 

Jess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ramsfan   

I agree wth connorsmom- write.  I write my Mom letters - I feel including her even if it's on paper makes me feel better. Enjoy the memories and keep them close to you, grandparents at times step up for the parents so the loss is just as great.

Stay strong.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I'm new in here but have just read about writing letters to your mum. My mum has recently died - seven weeks - and i am finding lots of things difficult to cope with. the most difficult is not being able to pick up the phone to tell her the little things so i have bought a journal just for her and i tell her whats been happening

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all so much. My grandparents did step up, my mom worked alot & I was home with them. I can't remember any event in my life that they weren't there for, no matter how small, it was huge to them. It's been almost 3 yrs. since Grandma died & the grieving process has been slow. Now I have to start all over again. My emotions are a mess. I am grieving at 2 different stages & sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling. How do I deal with the feelings?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ramsfan   

When my son found out the sex of his unborn child I was so excited I said out loud , "I have to call my Mom".   I remember feeling so numb and lost -  the moment of excitement just went away.  There has been many things I needed to share with my Mom - so I update her journal.  Today has been a bad day - I've cried  over the smallest things.   I feel lost and just unhappy - her 1st year being gone is in August what am I too expect?   The good days are starting to out number the bad days ...

But when the bad days hit they hit hard., like today.   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I still wake up & think I have to call Grandma. Now I see something Grandpa would like & I realize I can't call either of them. It is a pain & emptyness that is unreal. The thing that keeps me from going crazy is that they would be angry that their deaths are consuming my life. It's hard to do but somehow I manage. They are on my mind every second of every day. I guess in my eyes they weren't ever supposed to die, it was supposed to happen to other families not mine. Does that make sense?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that everyone has their own view of psychics etc.  I called one 2 months after I lost my mom.........it was a very clear reading......and one thing that stood out clearly is that my mom is very aware of my journaling, talking to her and my thoughts involving her.

Have faith that they are there.......and appreciate the journals, letters, etc.

 

Jess

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gina, I feel the same way you do. I just lost my Dad three weeks ago and my mom eight months ago and I can't stop thinking about them. Everytime I think there is something they'd be interested in, I break down. I know they'd want me to go on, but it's so hard and so painful. I have the task of cleaning out the house and just everything I pick up has some memory that just tears at me inside. I still have a month to go here until I get the place cleared out and can move out of the state. I'm hoping that the change of scenery and not having to go to the same stores and such that Dad and Mom went to will help in the healing process. Yesterday I ate at Golden Corral, thinking it would be a good thing to get out and do something different. Instead, I just sat there remembering that I chose the one place that we'd sit and talk while we ate. Then I couldn't even eat. I just left feeling numb.

It just feels like I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown about every minute of the day. Today was especially hard because it was my Dad's birthday. He was looking forward to making it to 77, but didn't. It was the worst day thus far and I guess I still have Father's Day to go yet. And to top that off, they finally had his ashes ready to be picked up. I placed them next to my mom on the mantle so they'd be together as he wanted. At least they got them in time for his birthday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sheela   

thank you for this below it has comforted me also

and one thing that stood out clearly is that my mom is very aware of my journaling, talking to her and my thoughts involving her.

this is something that i may some day want to do also

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My Dad passed in May, and I have wanted to journal my feelings, but really don't know how to get started (I have never journal before and another friend suggested I start). I am going to start writing him letters like you all are doing. I think I will feel so much better, just writing down the things I would want to share with him and the daily things my little girls are doing (ages 3 and 7).  My grandmother passed in February, and although I didn't live with her, she too was the care taker of me while Mom and Dad were at work. I spent most summers on the farm with her and ate lunch with her almost everyday. I am excited to start journaling! ginehunt3, please know you are not alone...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×