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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Angie101

War

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Julia,

First off I want to say how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your husband....and, thank you for sharing him to defend our country! He is a loss for all of us! He went straight to heaven....I am sorry our government is the way it is, especially for you being disabled. You are a strong woman to endure all the losses you have and my heart aches for you. Try and find that place in your heart that takes you to find peace. I will be praying for you!

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Hello all,

My deepest heartfelt sorrow goes out to each of you for your loss(es). I, myself, am seeking to comfort my girlfriend who lost her fiancé of seven years just over a year ago in Afghanistan. They were very happy together and having him ripped from her so suddenly and violently has had a profound effect on her spirit and on our relationship. Her name is Karen.

I met her online eight months ago and we talk almost every day, either by phone or text message. She lives on the east coast and I on the west. We didn't plan on falling for each other, but fate took a hand and we've found ourselves very much in love and very committed to being together. However, I have never experienced this kind of emotional trauma before, but my only wish is to support her in any way that I can while trying, if possible, to move our relationship forward. I feel only admiration for the sacrifice her fiancé made for our country and feel some guilt taking his place, but I'm determined to take care of Karen in his stead.

We still have yet to meet in person. She hasn't felt up to it, as yet. We've had a couple of rough dates set where she'd fly out to see me (as she doesn't want to confuse her feelings for her fiancé with those she has for me by introducing me into her environment... something I don't completely understand but fully support her decision), but each time she's backed off saying she's still not ready. I've told her that I'm standing by her, but I'm afraid that these months of waiting will stretch into years.

I guess what I'm hoping to achieve is insight into a subject that I have no experience dealing with. Mind you, I've had family members and friends die, of course, but nothing that comes remotely close to this. From what little she's spoke about her feelings (she keeps those very guarded), I'd gather that she's somewhere between the depression and acceptance stages. Knowing this, is there anything that I can expect from her behavior toward me? And, most importantly, how can I best help her deal with her loss and feelings?

thank you all and God Bless.

Derek

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Hello all,

My deepest heartfelt sorrow goes out to each of you for your loss(es). I, myself, am seeking to comfort my girlfriend who lost her fiancé of seven years just over a year ago in Afghanistan. They were very happy together and having him ripped from her so suddenly and violently has had a profound effect on her spirit and on our relationship. Her name is Karen.

I met her online eight months ago and we talk almost every day, either by phone or text message. She lives on the east coast and I on the west. We didn't plan on falling for each other, but fate took a hand and we've found ourselves very much in love and very committed to being together. However, I have never experienced this kind of emotional trauma before, but my only wish is to support her in any way that I can while trying, if possible, to move our relationship forward. I feel only admiration for the sacrifice her fiancé made for our country and feel some guilt taking his place, but I'm determined to take care of Karen in his stead.

We still have yet to meet in person. She hasn't felt up to it, as yet. We've had a couple of rough dates set where she'd fly out to see me (as she doesn't want to confuse her feelings for her fiancé with those she has for me by introducing me into her environment... something I don't completely understand but fully support her decision), but each time she's backed off saying she's still not ready. I've told her that I'm standing by her, but I'm afraid that these months of waiting will stretch into years.

I guess what I'm hoping to achieve is insight into a subject that I have no experience dealing with. Mind you, I've had family members and friends die, of course, but nothing that comes remotely close to this. From what little she's spoke about her feelings (she keeps those very guarded), I'd gather that she's somewhere between the depression and acceptance stages. Knowing this, is there anything that I can expect from her behavior toward me? And, most importantly, how can I best help her deal with her loss and feelings?

thank you all and God Bless.

Derek

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My son, SPC Lance Briggs, served in Operation Iraqi Freedom. While he was fighting for our country his little girl was here fighting for her life. She lost that battle just days before her Daddy was to return. She was murdered after a Judge returned her to her mother's home after months of documented abuse. Kelsey had two broken legs, a broken collar bone, numerous bruises and abrasions, retinal hemoraging, hair loss, and weight loss prior to her death. Her mother previously had child abuse confirmed on her. Kelsey was still in state custody and was to be monitored by three different state agencies. Her cause of death was blunt force trauma to the abdomen. Her mother and stepfather have both been charged in connection with her death. For more on her story go to www.kelseyspupose.org My son feels like Iraq cost him everything. He returned from war to bury his only child, not the homecoming a soldier deserves.

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Kjbriggs, I am so deeply sorry. From a dad who lost a daughter to a dad who lost a daughter (both by intentional killing), please accept my condolensces. There is no reason, no excuse for any such thing. My prayers will be with your son as he grieves for his precious child. I'm Jenni's dad.

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MY FRIEND CAME BACK FROM IRAQ NOT TO LOMG AGO. HE HAS PTSD AND I AM TRYING TO HELP HIM. HE CHANGED SO MUCH. BEFORE IRAQ WE NEVER ARGUED. NOT ONCE. NOW HE IS RAISING HIS VOICE AT ME AND NOW WE ARE IN AN ARGUEMENT. I AM SO HURT OVER THIS. I WANT TO HELP HIM SO BAD. HAS ANYONE HAD TO DEAL WITH OR IS DEALING WITH SOMEONE BACK FROM IRAQ WHO HAS PTSD?

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27roses,

My friends husband got back from Iraq in December...he spent 16 months there. He was just diagnosed with PTSD two weeks ago. He has changed so much!! He gets angry very easily, he doesn't sleep well at all and he has night terrors when he does sleep. He's also been making weird comments about killing people and dying. He's been doing strange things...spending money like its nothing...buying cars, 4 wheelers..anything to distract himself from thinking about what he's been through. We haven't seen him much since he got back...he's not as social as he was before he left. I don't know what is going on with him, or how to help him. I think that we just need to be as patient as we can and be there for them when they are ready to talk about it. I hope things are getting better for your friend. Take care, Cindy

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Guest Guest

I had a dear dear boyfriend,who was in the Marine Corps when we met in 1967. Six months later he shipped out to Vietnam. I never thought of John dying; I always knew in my heart he\'d come home and we\'d get married and get on with our lives. Well, I was wrong. My sweet, gentle Marine was Killed In Action on September 6, 1967.

I did a lot of grieving ( so I thought) and it looked like I got on with my life. After John was killed, I was engaged twice; once I ended things and the other was ended by the man I was engaged to.

I put myself through college at night which took 9 years. I got into the computer field and ended up being wildly successful and wealthy overnight, or so it seemed.

I always honored John every Memorial Day and flew the flag. But the Memorial Day Weekend of the first year of the Iraq War I found myself weepy and very sad. Since then I periodically will go on for weeks, literally obsessing over John, doing the \"what ifs\" or \"why did he have to die?\" Sometimes I think I\'m crazy or possessed.

I did adopt an infant when I was 49 and now have a beautiful son who is almost 10 years old...he\'s the love of my life. My son\'s adoption was contested and during the 2 year/2 trial period I also lost both of my parents, my Mom suddenly. I got sick with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue which affects everything in my life. I save most of my energy for Zachary so he doesn't feel deprived for my attention which is sometimes hard to do.

Please, if someone out there can relate to this at all, please contact me at itzbeck@aol.com or here on the message boards.

I also, during the 1970s drank and drugged way too much (instead of grieving?) and am now 27 years sober. I have never, ever felt so \"stuck\" in my life! Right now I only live for my son...I seem to have disappeared.

I want to add that I was one of those \"Liberal/Commies\" who demonstrated to bring our boys home. They were boys - John was 21 when he died. But NEVER did I stop supporting the men in the Vietnam War. I just wanted them home because many of us believed the Vietnam War was totally insane.

Did you know that in the late 1950s the US started in Vietnam by supplying advisors to help the So. Vietnamese train to win their war. Sound familiar? In the end over 58,000 Americans were killed there and God only knows how many were wounded, maimed or never fully recovered. Now it is Vietnam all over again. Yeah, we\'re going to teach the Itaqis how to fight...Pray we don\'t end up in Iraq for 20 years like we did with Vietnam. All those wasted young lives; all the hurt and grief, parents who buried their young sons....Don\'t let our government do it again, please.

Rebecca

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My best friend just went to Iraq, and I'm so mad. At him, at myself, at everyone. And I don't know if that's OKAY.

If it helps, I think it's more than okay to be angry. I feel that this war is as senseless as the Vietnam war was. So many young lives lost and for what? Vietnam didn't stop the spread of communism and the US will have to retreat from Iraq - going there under erroneous pretenses...Shameful and VERY hurtful to all who go, return alive or dead.

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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This post has been deleted (in theory anway).

By the way, I feel that it is wrong to not allow users the option to delete posts or close their accounts.

I will not be back.

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