LOVE LIVES ON AFTER A LOVED ONE "DIES"

[ericafara]

It was about three weeks since my little daughter Lily’s death and we were in Wanaka, visiting my brother and his partner, leaving my sister back in Auckland. One night while I was there, I woke up after having a dream of Lily. In the dream Lily simply said, “Tell Lou I’m sorry I wasn’t there”.

So not thinking much of it, I was prompted to call my sister, Louise. I asked her how she was and she said she was fine, although she said she had been to a funeral the previous day. She had managed to get through the service with dry eyes until the end when someone got up and read the very same poem that she, my sister, had read for Lily at her funeral, three weeks earlier. At this point she lost it and could hold back the tears no longer. Lily had obviously been with her at this funeral, trying to let her know that she was still there with her. Lots of love, Erica

The poem read:

“Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other

That we are still, call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near

Just around the corner, All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!”

by Canon Henry Scott-Holland

[imissyoupritch]

That is a beautiful poem-I am trying to digest that-but I also wanted to respond to the woman who wrote the post yesterday who was in so much pain and had lost her child (I think) around 6 weeks ago. I can't quite remember because I read it yesterday and this is the first time I have posted anything or whatever becaue I just lost MY son 6 weeks ago. OMG it is SO painful so I know exactly how she feels!! It is just... I cant even say right now-I can't put it into words-I dont even know how to work this forum to know if she can read this-I jsut wanted her to know she is not alone

[ericafara]

I'm so sorry for your loss. To be honest I am new to online forums too so can't guide you with that. I can however say that my daughter Lily died 5 years ago of cancer, she was 2 years old. In the beginning the pain and grief was overwhelming, but with each month that passes, it does get a little easier - especially if you have spiritual beliefs in your child's continuing existence in spirit. My faith has been the hugest factor in getting me through the last very challenging five years. Please know that you too are not alone and I would love to support you in any way I can and tell you that in time, life will feel OK again. Much love to you, Erica

[imissyoupritch]

thank you erica--yes i do have total conviction that the soul leaves the human body and moves on-and that is what sustains me

I howl and cry less after 7 weeks but it is always on my mind-like a shroud of sadness- but I feel like I'm trying to get my brain, mind, spirit, and body to get it together at least enough to start living again to create a new life without him

I don't know. Anything for sure.

Thank you for reply. Tracy