Dreams of Linda

[Guest]

I took a little nap this afternoon and had a very vivid dream of my lost wife. I haven't dreamed of her before, or not that I remembered at least. In the dream I was sitting in my recliner, exactly where I was sitting and napping, and Linda was on the porch tending to her plants and flowers while talking on the phone (she talked on the phone a lot). The odd think was I never saw her face, she was always turned away as she passed by the window, but I could hear her voice and was curious to find out who she was talking to because she sounded so happy. The wonderful thing is that she was physically able, instead of the woman I lived with for the last 6 years who was partially disabled from a car accident, and physically fit as she moved around with energy as she did for so many years. She was wearing white shorts and a dark t-shirt with the sleeves cut out, and I remember thinking what a cute butt she still had after all these years.

I don't know where this came from out of the blue, or why now, but it was so real that when I opened my eyes I fully expected to see her through that same window. I was both happy and sad when I woke up with this fresh in my mind, mostly happy now. Anyhow, I wanted to write about this here because I don't know anybody I would care to talk to in person about it. Well, maybe my grief therapist next time I see her.

Does anybody else dream about there lost partner? Is it happy, sad, distressing or what?

[MaryArlene]

Over the past 10 months or so that my husband has been gone, I have had many dreams with James. Most are in situations where we would go to family functions or on vacation and its just normal. Other dreams that are still so vivid to me are the type that I wake up and gasp. One of the dreams was when we were standing side-by-side watching our nieces and nephews fishing. He was saying how much he enjoyed being with the kids and that he sure hoped that they remembered the values that he tried to teach them, he then turned to me and expressed how he knew how much I was suffering. He ended up saying that deep down I have to understand that it was time to go, that he couldn't bear being an invalid with his body failing. It was the kind of dream that I bounced up with my heart pounding out of my chest.

Do these dreams make me happy or sad? Strange enough, anytime I have a dream with him, I feel more at peace for a few days at least. I feel the same way when friends share James stories with me. Sometimes they are apprehensive and ask if I would mind hearing a story about him. I love that people bring him to life with their stories and keep his legacy alive... I wouldn't have it any other way.

[HeyJude]

I pray for dreams of Jerry and so far nothing. It's been 8 1/2 months and not one dream that I can remember anyway. I would love to have a dream with him in it.

[catz]

I have only had one dream that i remember with Alex in it and i dont even remember what it was about, just that his face was in it....and that made me happy because i didnt think id ever see that again. His parents had nightmares for a while with him in them, but im sure that was just guilt, totally undeserved, but totally understandable. They at least seem to have stopped. I really wish i did have more dreams with him in, but i suspect, pron lile you jude, im trying too hard.

[usagainsttheworld]

I had a dream of Divon. He stood next to the window of the apartment I'm in now and told me he was proud of me. It made me happy but I still wish he was here.

[Austykatie]

I never have dreams of Jim, I hardly ever dream! Its so weird! I used to all the time since his accident I feel like I never do unless its a nightmare...

[junglee queen]

I had two dreams so far one was bad in which i kept seeing him getting in accidents in different cars and in different times one after the another . while in the other he was taking me to a park . i like to lay my head on his arm while he drives . i was doing that in the dream . But then in the park he was in a hurry he took my handbag and he was walking really fast , i was trying to catch up with him but he seemed really in hurry ..... i really want to keep seeing him in my dreams at least

[HeyJude]

Me either Austy!! I have always said "I don't dream" and I probably don't because I can't ever really get into that real deep REM sleep. I wake up several times during the night and I'm also a very light sleeper, I hear everything!! I hate it too because I need to sleep so bad...I know it would make me feel better. Think I'll call my dr. and see if there is something I can take. Melatonin does nothing for me.

I never have dreams of Jim, I hardly ever dream! Its so weird! I used to all the time since his accident I feel like I never do unless its a nightmare...

[Austykatie]

Me either Austy!! I have always said "I don't dream" and I probably don't because I can't ever really get into that real deep REM sleep. I wake up several times during the night and I'm also a very light sleeper, I hear everything!! I hate it too because I need to sleep so bad...I know it would make me feel better. Think I'll call my dr. and see if there is something I can take. Melatonin does nothing for me.

I have tried Melatonin, it just feels like I have a bad hangover the next day! Well crap if I am going to feel that way it better well be worth it! LOL So I don't really take it unless I cant fall asleep a few nights in a row. Tonight I am still wide awake and its 3am! I should be sleeping but I can't! I wonder if this feeling will ever go away? I went to a movie last night with a friend of mine and all the sudden I had a Deja vue.. It was like Jim was sitting right next to me instead of my friend Johnee. I didn't tell Johnee that but I started to cry! It was the weirdest feeling I have had yet! Today was kind of a rough day for me I just couldn't seem to get a grip on reality! Its been 6 months and some people think you should be "over it". I mean really how do you get over something like this? I hope you are able to find something that works for sleep! I would stay away from Ambien and Trazadone if I were you! Good Luck!

[Karen.Lyn]

Andy hasn't come into my dreams as yet. Maybe he's still settling in where ever he is now. I don't think I've had any dreams at all since he passed. I hope I get to see him soon.

[MissingDaniel]

I've only had one that I remembered. It was very odd, and I remember in the dream Daniel was supposedly sick and the doctor told him he was going to die, and I got mad at him because he didn't seem to want to fight. He told me that he was sorry, but I needed to understand that it was just time for him to go. And of course he was never sick, so I don't know what that was about. But when I woke up, I just cried because it just felt like I had had to let go of him again. I was in a funk for days. I hope eventually I can have more dreams where I see him, and it makes me happy instead of sad. I'm just not there yet.

[andysgirl]

I’ve had quite a few dreams of my guy since his passing. The night he died I dreamt that I was with him at the hospital and he grabbed my hand and we said I love you, then he had the heart attack, opened his eyes and said “I’m ok”. I took that as my sign that he didn’t go in much pain, at least that's what I hope. Since then I’ve had dreams where we’ll talk about what happened and how neither of us understand it, they are mostly confusing. One time I asked to come with him and he said no, you can't, not yet. When I got that awful email from his mother I dreamt that I told him about it – and he wasn’t happy. He said “that’s bulls**t, I’m going to talk to my mom”. I felt proud of him and like I was valid in my feelings.

Most recently I’ve had dreams where he’s in our apartment, one time (I am not sure if I was actually half awake because of melatonin I had tried) but I was walking back to bed and he walked in before me to sit down. It was the 1^st time I felt like there was a “ghost” around and I remember feeling scared. He said not to be and to just go back to sleep. He looked sad though, and I worried that he wasn't settling up there. He was wearing the clothes he left for work in.

Most of the dreams are good and give me some sort of peace but then I have dreams where he’ll say he’s going to visit this person or that person and I get upset becasue he's leaving me. In 99% of the dreams we talk about the fact that he’s gone but he always looks just like he did, nothing scary. But for me they can still be upsetting mostly because when I open my eyes I have to remind myself that I can’t actually talk to him about it. That he's still not here.

I’ve read that some people have dreams and some people don’t and it’s not a good thing or a bad thing, just the way it is sometimes. I’ve also read that you can ask them to come visit you in a dream as that’s the most easiest way for them to talk to you. So every night I say good night to him and tell him I miss him and ask him to visit in hopes that he will. Crazy I know, but I do it anyway. Perhaps it’s my imagination but there have been far too many signs, symbols and dreams since he's left, so I just take them as his way of telling me he's around and hope he continues to send them to me.

I’ve also started to write down my dreams whenever I have them of him, just so I can look back and try to get a sense of where I am at and what he might be trying to tell me.

I’ve never really given much thought to spirit, but I think about it all the time now.

It's hard trying to understand that he is a spirit now, when he should sitting next to me, holding my hand.

[needy]

I rarely remember my dreams. Sure wish I would have one of my husband. My eldest son has them all the time and he takes comfort in them.

[Guest]

No dreams of my beautiful bride, but of course one has to sleep for dreams. Hasn't been a lot of that for 4 months.

I keep hoping that I will wake up from this nightmare. When I wake up from rare and illusive sleep I'm always a little surprised that I am waking to the nightmare, not remembering one.