Loss of my lovely dad

[joesgirl1968]

Hi all, just really want to know how long does it take for the pain to ease, its been 7 years now and I'm finding it really hard, would appreciate anyones comments

[4froggies]

I will be honoring the one year of my dad's passing this coming Monday, so I am afraid I may not be of much help.

What I have found, and am coming to terms with, is I don't think the pain ever "goes away" as I would like i to. For that to happen, he would need to magically reappear and that just can't happen, as we all know.

 

I have tried to be constructive in my loss--trying to focus on the day to day things that I may have missed before--like the birds that just flew by my window at work and how much I like sausage. I know it sounds silly, but through my pain I am teaching myself to treasure life, and I truly believe my dad did just that.

I am so sorry that you are hurting and if you want to talk, please feel free to msg me when ever. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

Michele

[coachdad32]

Hi,

 

I am sorry for the pai nyou are going through.  Iwould like to tell you that at a certain time the pain goes away but, it does not. They say Time Heals All Wounds but what I found is that time does not heal them, it allows you deal with the severity of the pain so it is not so vivid. But it will be there, that is one of the things that comes along with loving someone.

 

My Dad die in 1991 almost the exact date that his Dad died of lung cancer only 12 years earlier. My grandpa smoked but my Dad was a physical fitness nut and never smoked. The pain I felt when he died is something  I would not wish on anyone. I was hit hard for several years, was able to function but mentally  I was a mess. I can now look back on the good times but there are the days where it still hurts. My advice to you, I am sure your Dad would not want you crying and hurting over him try to hold on to the good times and look forward to the times when you can tell stories about a great man with a smile on your face.

[joesgirl1968]

Many thanx for the comment it's nice to know there are people out there that care. I am grateful for any comments. I think the problem I had was I nursed my dad for the last 6 months of his life and was there right up to the end. I didn't grieve properly because I felt I had to be strong for my mum. I was just starting to come to terms with things when my mum developed senile dementia and is now in a vegetable state in a nursing home. Its so sad why do all the good people die first.

[coachdad32]

It seems like the good ones do die young. My Dad was a teacher, coach, and role model for all. He did not drink, smoke, use profanity, and he was a fitness nut. He helped everyone he could. Some of the people he was around who cheated on their wives, abused alcohol, and/or broke the law and they were fine and healthy. It is tough to swallow for all of us who lost loved ones way to early.

 

I try to find the positive but it is tough. His passing made me be responsible for myself early on and also a very good judge of character,  I had to be I was 19 yrs old when he passed, my step mother locked me out of the house the night he died, and my mom lived in a small one bedroom apartment. I was in college so I stayed up on campus and worked 3 jobs during the summer to make ends meet. So I learned a lot at a young age. I do tend to look at the negative side of things but it is also good that now in almost every situation I can clearly think of all possible outcomes and risks in a very quick manner. Would I trade everything in the world (besides my family) for another day with him? You bet I would. My belief in angels has helped with that. We got a wedding picture back and in the background is a white figure that looks like an angel.  It helps to believe.