ADC's, Visions & Dreams

[aprilsmom]

Mattsdad, they can lock us all up together. Take Care, Hope your family is okay; I know I typed to your wife about how horrible the 3 and 6 mo. marks are.

[maskott]

I need to add this to the story that Mattsdad posted. For those who do not know, Mattsdad is my husband. Yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of our son Matthew's death. I have been talking with Matthew a lot asking for a simple sign. I've been told by mamabets to just keep my eyes and ears open. (Right now I'm just existing day to day so I don't see much) So...yesterday, on my way home from work I was upset that my husband had a sign and I didn't. Come on...I'm his mother...I cared for him when he was sick etc. I told Matthew it wasn't fair. Then I came to my senses (if I have any at this time) and I told Matthew that I didn't blame him for giving his father a sign. For all I know, maybe Matthew has sent me many signs that I just didn't see. So, this morning, again talking to Matthew, I apologized for my outburst yesterday and told him that when he was ready to send a sign I would try to keep my eyes-just then a huge deer runs in front of my car. It was surreal as if he floated through the car. He was sooooo close yet did not hit. I didn't even get to finish my sentence of keeping my eyes open. I looked up and felt Matthew smiling and saying "did you see that sign". Is this a sign or am I just trying to see a sign in anything.

BettyAnn

[nurseconnie]

Hi to All

Hiya bets... thanks for the bob ross web site.

This letter is to matt's mom and daddy.... I dont know if youre aware of my stories that I've posted... Just to make them condensed and easy reading .. i will tell you of the things that have happened to me since my father's suicide 8 months ago.

I awoke one morning and found him standing in my room with a woman.. who wasnt my mother.

I have smelled smoke in the house...it set off the alarm system.. I couldn't figure out where it came from.. it was pipe tobacco smoke .

I have had comatose patients speak to me.. and call me by my nickname that my dad called me.

There are a few other things.. He has definitely made me believe.

You should know for sure that the knocking that you heard on your door... wasn't the wind.. or the dog.. ... the deer... well... what a completely gentle graceful beautiful animal that you were sent. You have to know that was a message. God sent me a bird.. Bets has his picture. Am I nuts.?.. maybe so. I cant still hang 15 critical care drips on patients and calculate the dosages in my head. ...so not too nuts yet

I was sitting on my deck and crying... trying to read the bible.. something that i never did... I had given up on any God a long time ago. My uncle suggested that I read the Mathew verse about the lilies and the birds. All of a sudden this huge bird flew down and sat on my deck looking at me. I've sent his pic to Bets... He is still here... he eats out of a food bowl with a squirrel.... I can go out in the yard and he flies low enough over my head so that I can almost feel his wings in my hair... DO i believe that Matt sent you a deer???? oh .. yes mam.

I took care of a young man a few weeks ago who is dying from a terrible disease... He told me... Don't look so worried.. I've already been there... It's so nice.. I'm not scared.

I never use to take what my patients said to me when they were so sick with a lot of seriousness... other than needed to console them. Now I listen.. and the things that I hear are amazing.

Please know.. that while you miss your son so greatly... He has just returned home and he waits for you there. You will miss him while you're here...

But thanks to a very very nice man.. My dad.. I can tell you for sure that heaven exists.. and that life goes on.

I would like to know who that woman was he was with when he showed up. Please go back and read my posts for the details.

I wish both of you love and peace.

Bets... when you IM me.... i'm already asleep....

Keep trying.

[momsbabygirl]

This site has been a wonderful outlet for me since losing my Mom in June. I decided to buy a journal today to keep track of all of the little signs that I've gotten so far and to write down some memories of our last few months together; like phone calls and visits. I want to be sure to document these things before I forget them....thanks to everyone here for "listening" and understanding!

[bernie]

This site has been a wonderful outlet for me since losing my Mom in June. I decided to buy a journal today to keep track of all of the little signs that I've gotten so far and to write down some memories of our last few months together; like phone calls and visits. I want to be sure to document these things before I forget them....thanks to everyone here for "listening" and understanding!

[swede1]

Someone just posted this under the Reincarnation forum here, but I've taken a look and it also deals with death, dying and helping someone else who is dying. It might be worth a look for anyone afraid of death and dying, and what happens to us all upon physical death. Me, I've put it on my Christmas wish list. You can read the posting in its entirety in that forum - here I've just listed the last piece of info.

"Information can be found at www.easydeathbook.com

More information can be found at www.adidam.org and www.beezone.com"

[nancy55]

I am so patiently waiting for a sign..from my husband and my brother, Ron. Ron died Oct 21st in his sleep at the age of 41. He did not drink or do drugs. He was epileptic and had been weaned off his meds by a neurologist..he had been on meds for 25 years! We are waiting for the final autopsy reports to come in. If he had a seizure, and died then we are planning on suing the Doctor. I am an R.N. and am so damn mad about this. I lost my husband 4 months to the date I lost Ron. Mike died of lung cancer. It was expected, but I was still not ready. Losing Ron was absolutely devastating to me. My sister and I are wanting a sign from Ron...to know he is o.k. He wasn\'t suppose to die. He was generally healthy and active and had a management position. He graduated from college and was a gift to this earth. Our family is so broken hearted. He was the baby of 7 kids, and was an identical twin. His twin feels as though half of him is gone. We want a peaceful, comforting sign from Ron. I pray he is o.k. I pray he is with my husband. I pray things are better there than here. God bless each and everyone of you. You are all suffering the worst loss in a lifetime....the loss of a loved one. Nancy55

[aprilsmom]

Hi Nancy, I don't know about everyone else; but my signs always come when I seem to NEED them the most; or when I'm not expecting it at all. I'm sure that Ron and your husband want you to feel comforted....can't wait to hear when you have a sign, maybe it's too soon. April passed in 11/04 and I had my first in January; I was just too upset before then to notice anything. Take Care, Renee

[lauraa]

O.K. Everybody,

I was lying on my sofa Saturday morning and looking up at the sky lite.....I was looking for signs and asking god for a sign to help me gain strength. Alittle while later I was looking at the t.v. and thru the sky lite a reflection was on the wall...it was a round reflection from the sun with a cross in the center. What do you all think about that?

[alwaysmyjennifer]

Lauraa, I think it's awesome! It reminded me of the sign we got when I heard my father had a heart attack. My girlfriend and I drove to my brother's place in the States, and found out that our mother was watching tv when it instantly went blank, and she saw an image of the cross in the screen. Within a second, the show was back on. Nobody around town saw that. Only her. She knew something was wrong, and as soon as she told us of the sign, my brother couldn't stay awake any longer. My girlfriend and I were tired from driving all day, so we chose to get some sleep too. There was a flood on the road to the hospital that killed nine people, and her sign saved us. There was no way to see it in the dark, so we'd most likely have been caught in it too. Your husband is in Paradise, but also with you. This is why we get these signs.

[nancy55]

Thanks Aprilsmom. I did get a sign from my husband only a few months after he was gone. But, none since. I want a sign from Ron, because I want to know he is ok. I want to know that when he died that nite alone in his bed, that my husband was helping him cross to the the other side. I think of him being alone in his bed..and dying alone. That breaks my heart. I can't live with that thought everyday. All of you out there with this pain, I pray for you. And wish you peace and comfort. God bless, Nancy

[kathy714]

HI,I don't usually post on this site,my son Nathan crossed over last Jan31,2005 on his 21st birthday.Iam at work,and a friend asked me how i was doing with the holiday's coming,and we began talking,both of us ended in tears,but still was a nice talk,after we finished,i went into the waiting room to buy something from the vending machine,on the table was a pile of books,so i went over and picked up the topbook and the title was"YOUR HEART IS STILL BEATING,After your child dies.I couldn't believe it,i started looking through it and it is a bokk of poems and stories from other's who have lost a child,it seems pretty good ,so i put it in my locker to read later,but tell me that's not a sign that Nate is with me!!T/C Kathy,Nate's mom

[kathy714]

Iam sorry the correct title of the book is, A BROKEN HEART STILL BEATS;After your child dies;written by ,ANNE McCRACKEN and MARY SEMEL

[kathy714]

Iwas just reading the post about signs others had recieved from their loved one's ,and i have recieved many from my son after he had passed.MY son Nathan passed away last Jan31 on his 21st birthday, he was found in the morning in a parking lot,cause of death hyperthemia,it was 10 degrees that night,there are a lot of unanswered question and it is still under investigation. I remember that night i was on the computer until 5am and about 1 am it started acting weird,it kept shutting down and a message would come on the screen saying THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH COMMUNICATION,DO I WISH TO STAY ONLINE.When i think about it now could that of been Nathan trying to communicate to me while crossing over?Iremember thinking what is going on here ,of course at that time i thought my son was safe and staying at a friends house,but i do remember at one point thinking about Nate and why wasn't he home yet,and then i remembered he said he was going to stay at his friends that night so they wouldn't have to drive.

[care4u]

I would like to just post this note here and I hope that in some way it may help some of you in knowing that your loved one passed over gracefully. You may have read my quotes already, but I mentioned I will be doing volunteer work at a hospice and would like to hopefully be able to use my gifts to help people understand what is about to happen for them in the transition into spirit. Anyways I stumbled upon this site and you might find some comfort in it. Please go to Spiritspeaks/sixthsenses.html. and click on questions and answeres. Once in there go to Navigation sites and click on "The Transition Onward Into Spirit". For those of you who haven't read any of my quotes, I just wanted to note that I have had quite a few Out of body experiences and contact with spirits so I can vouch that this site is pretty close if not exactly what happens when we pass on into spirit. I know it is hard to really believe this is a reality unless you develop the gifts yourself of knowing for sure, but I just thought it might bring some comfort to know that there is always plenty of loved ones waiting for us in the spirit world who are ready to greet us as soon as we make the transition. Nobody gets left out or accidentally looked passed. I want you to know that I feel very deeply for all of you and the tremendous amount of pain you are going through. I wish I could be there to reach out and give all of you a loving hug, but of course I can't so I would like to try to help out in any way I can.

Lots of love,

care4you

[lauraa]

Dear Care4U,

I will check out that site right now and I thank you for that...You don't know how bad I could use that tonight.

[care4u]

Lauraa,

I'm so sorry to hear that you were down the other night. I hope for you to be able to take on a new day with added strength and may each day bring you a little closer to your spiritual self. I feel like I am trying to hard to help people to see the truth of our existence. I geuss people will come to terms with their own spirituality when the time is right for them and it will probably just come naturally. At one of my mediumship classes I was informed that people who are naturally a little more receptive to communicating with loved ones on the other side can sometimes take on other peoples feelings. That explained alot for me. Before I started to develop my gifts, I use to cry and cry when I heard of someone passing who I didn't even know. I didn't even have to know their families at all. My boyfriend use to get so mad at me. I felt like such an over emotional wreck, but now I see that I was taking on other peoples feelings. I would go into detail in my mind of exactly how that person was feeling and would cry so much for them. I sometimes get to that point when I read the stories on here and then I remember "waite a minute, I can talk to spirit at any time, I know they are o.k." I can sometimes let myself drift back to what it was like to not know the truth and it can make me so emotional. I find I have to really stay close to my spiritual side, I need to be around my spirit guides every day to keep me from going backwards. They know this and are always there for me. I was curious if you had tried the technique I had mentioned. If you did and nothing happened, don't give up. It takes some practice, you really have to keep thoughts out of your head. And that is really hard. Just keep breathing really deep and let out a big sigh with each breath. The more calm and at peace we are, the more we raise our energy level to theirs. Take care Lauraa and know that you are in my thoughts.

[lauraa]

Dear Care4U,

Thanks for your conerns and encouragement....It means alot! I haven't been able to try the technique because for some reason after I first got that web site I haven't been able to get it again and I am trying to figure out what is going on with that. I do always think these things happen for a reason and maybe right now I should be doing that and maybe that is the reason it's not coming up. I have had an opportunity to go to mediumship classes but I have been putting that off as well...I do have an open invitation, though. I go to a Spiritual church when I can as it is an hour away and my three kids keep me very busy....thank you for all your encouragement. This most definitely is something I want to learn more about and I really value your input here. I know it is real and truthfully it is the biggist thing that has gotten me thru my first year without my dear husband. Just the thought of not having him with me rips at my heart...but knowing spiritually that he lives on pulls me up....Everything that you write lifts me and gives me hope that I can communicate with my loved ones and that they live on. I know thru mediums that this is true but I think now I am ready to take it to the next step...learning techniques myself to see for myself....I welcome any input you have and I appreciate it so very much...feel free to email me directly.

[aprilsmom]

Hi CARE4U- what would we need to do for you to do a reading? I am in California and it is 5:30 pm right now; what time zone are you in? I'm still thinking about all this, I just thought I'd move to the different thread. Renee

[care4u]

Hi CARE4U- what would we need to do for you to do a reading? I am in California and it is 5:30 pm right now; what time zone are you in? I'm still thinking about all this, I just thought I'd move to the different thread. Renee

I'm so glad you decided to think about it. I tried to look it up on the internet and I couldn't find anything, but I am convinced that we may not have to do anything at all. I feel that our loved ones can see the world from the "Big Picture" and that it is not hard for them to see when someone is trying to contact them. I am actually feeling quite chilly right now which means that there are spirits with me. Who they are, I don't know, but I feel they or maybe it is just one are letting me know to be confident and I feel their energy really wants to come through. I will never go ahead and get information from our passed on loved ones without your consent first. These messages are for you and you only and I am only doing it to help heal your pain and to help your loved ones too, because I know they hurt too when they see us hurting. So if you happen to see this tonight, It is 7:45pm my time, I will keep checking to see if you reply. Otherwise it is never too late, we could try again tomorrow. But I will keep checking because I'm sure you would want to hear the message as soon as possible. Take care and hopefully we speak soon.

[maskott]

Care4u...I hate to impose but lately I have been thinking really strongly about seeing a psychic. If there is anyway you could also help me, I would appreciate it. I guess I just need to know that things are alright on the other side.

BettyAnn

[care4u]

Care4u...I hate to impose but lately I have been thinking really strongly about seeing a psychic. If there is anyway you could also help me, I would appreciate it. I guess I just need to know that things are alright on the other side.

BettyAnn

BettyAnn,

I would love to help you out in any way I can. Nothing would please me more than to be able to show you that your son Mathew is ok. I have the ability to do that and I will definitely use it to help people as much as I can. I mentioned that sometimes the loved one you are hoping to hear from isn't always the one that comes through, for we have many loved ones waiting over there for us, but it may very well be that special one. Is there personal mailboxes here? All I need is your consent and I will go ahead and open the lines of communication. I know that going to see a Psychic/Medium would definitley cross alot of peoples minds after someone so dear to them moves on to spirit, but again how do you know who to go to. Some are quite expensive(I know money would be no issue at this point) but it is hard to put your trust out there. I thought maybe I could help people here and they could see that I am only doing it because I really care and that I don't want anything in return. I do know a few mediums who are very gifted who charge money and I am not putting them down, they were very accurate and I love them for helping people. I go to school tonight so I will check to see if you replied when I get home and we will take it from there. Lots of love to you.

Tammy

[maskott]

Care4u...If you need my personal email...it's byrde55@go.com. I would like any help you can give me. Thanks.

BettyAnn

[care4u]

Care4u...If you need my personal email...it's byrde55@go.com. I would like any help you can give me. Thanks.

BettyAnn

BettyAnn,

I hate to make you waite, but I have to go to school soon and I need to be really relaxed at the time I communicate with your loved ones. I want to make sure I get the information very clearly, so I will send you an email when I get home from school tonight which is 9:30 my time. I don't know if that means anything to you, I live in Canada so I don't know what our time difference is. In case you are wondering how I am going to be able to get your loved ones attention, I have just asked my Angels if they could help track down Mathew. They are definitley agreeing to, so all should go well. I will talk to you later.

[aprilsmom]

Dear CARE 4U - if you need to see April's picture while you try to reach her - go to aprilduarte.com I'm getting excited.

It's 6:45 pm in California.

[aprilsmom]

amazing- I just checked with the operator and it is almost 10:00 your time. Must have been meant to be?

[care4u]

Aprilsmom,

Hi sweety, it is care4u here. Your darling daughter has come through with a message for you. It is quite short and I hope that it makes sense for you. I asked her to give me something to verify that it is her and she told me to mention the white pearls that she wore around her neck that she gave to you and you now where them. Then she relayed this message and these were her exact words:

"Tell my mom I love her very much and the lights are always on for her up here. Tell her that I miss her and we will be in the limelite together again."

I hope that you are able to clarify this. If nothing rings a bell, please continue to think about it. It could come to you later, you never know down the road it might all of a sudden come to you. She pulled her energy away, but I feel you could communicate with her again when you want. I know you talk to her, but I geuss it just makes that faith so much stronger when a stranger is able to verify this. I really hope I have been some help. Again I am very new at this, but I will leave this with you. Lots of love.

Tammy

[angelwings56]

I have been reading these post for a long time but have never posted any. It makes me feel so much better to know I am not "crazy". My family and I have had many signs since my parents died. My dad died Dec.23,2000 and my mom April 25,2003. My dad was the rock of our family. He was always there when we needed anything. He took care of my mom. She was the one with health problems. He dropped dead while cooking her breakfast. That night I saw him standing at my moms bed rubbing her hair and telling her everything was OK. She was asleep and didn't wake up. I was sleeping on a couch near her bed and sat up and said "Dad"? He looked at me, bent over and kissed me on the forehead. And said "everythings fine go back to sleep" He didn't look like 74 years old. He looked much younger. I would have thought I was dreaming except that the everyone in the house saw him at times and as soon as my mom died it all stopped. We get signs now but we haven't seen him in 2 1/2 years. I guess he was waiting for her.

[care4u]

I just wanted to say a warm thank you to those who confided in me to communicate with their loved ones. I am very sorry if the communication could not be verified and I think that it might be because of the distance. I tried to look up on the net what would help, but I couldn't find ANYTHING so I thought it would at least be worth a try. I don't want any of you to think that I would willingly play with your emotions, I know you are all in a vulnerable state right now and I would never take advantage of that. I am going to investigate this more though. There has to be something we could do to make our energies stronger. I think we might need to be communicating on here at the same time. I promise you, I will continue searching for a solution and I hope that you will be willing put your trust in me again. I know there are alot of loved ones who would love to leave messages for us and I need to figure out how I can narrow it down long distance. Again, I am truly sorry if the messages did not make sense to you, and I want you all to know that I really wanted to help and I know that I still can as soon as I find out more on how to do it long distance. It makes me very sad if I was not able to match up your loved one with you. I know for sure that there were loved ones with me, but who they were trying to reach, I am now puzzled with. It may very well be that I got quite a few loved ones who know someone on this site all trying to get through. The loved ones with the strongest energies usually get through first(Personality wise I mean). So I hope that there are no hard feelings and I will definitley get back to anyone who will still confide in me as soon as I find out exactly what we need to do. Lots of love to all of you.

Care4u

[maskott]

Care4u...I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate what you're trying to do for us. I might not have understood what Matthew was saying but that doesn't mean it wasn't him. Sometimes I didn't understand Matthew's humor. I thank you for what you did and I hope that Matthew might continue to talk to you. I know you do what you do to help all of us. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.

BettyAnn

[lauraa]

Angelwings56,

Your "are not" crazy! Have you read the book HELLO FROM HEAVEN by Judy and Bill Guggenheimer...there are 1000's of accounts from people who have experienced what you have. I have also had many ADC's (after death communications). I thinnk it is what helps us heal after loosing our loved ones. I have also had mediums tell me things they would never have known which verifies to me that they "live on". Yet, we still have to go thru our grieving and get to a place where it doesn't hurt so bad. One night about 4 months after my husband passed I sat on the edge of our bed and looked out the window and his face appeared in the screen. I knew that was his way of telling me he was o.k....He also came to me in a dream...he was standing next to me at his calling hours and we were looking at his casket and he said, "I am not there". That dream gave me alot of comfort. And my reading from mediums that I did not know also gave me comfort. It is already what I believed in and that is "eternal life"....A medium told me that his grandmother came to him and was with him when he "crossed over"....his grandmother raised him. Also, there was a dog with him, a setter...we had a setter when we were first married. There was more. So just know your not alone and your parents are with you, always.

Care4U,

I would love it if you could get a message for me. I admire you for nurturing your ability to contact our loved ones who have crossed over. People do it all the time over the phone and long distance...you just have to figure it out and I'm sure it comes with experience....e-mail me and I can give you the name of some people who do this. I know one of them is in the states but she does spend time in Canada.....Hang in there and let me know if you can give me a reading...Bless you!

[aprilsmom]

Hello Tammy, Thanks for the message. I do have pearls, but from my husband. The "limelight" could have something to do with her favorite color being green. I don't know, I may be stretching. The pearls could have something to do with my mom, who passed away almost 30 yrs. ago when I was pregnant with my first daughter - I need to think about that. Thank you though, and I'm not offended at all. Take Care, Renee

[momsbabygirl]

Care4U:

I'd be interesting in 'talking' with your further. I can be reached at momsgirl2469@netscape.net

Thanks!

[suelowe]

Care4u, i hope you don't mind me contacting you through this board, but i'm wondering if you can help me. After reading your replies to people asking for your help in contacting loved ones who have passed on, it has intruiged me to find out more.

i lost my mum last year in March 31 2004 in hospital. I'd love to know how you 'contact' the deceased, what you get from it and so on...i'd love to know how my mum is, and if i'm making her smile. i wish she was here.

thank you for your time

sue

[mattsdad]

To,

Care4u....

I appreciate your help in trying to contact my Matthew(I am the husband of maskott).

At this point in our journey without Matthew any help is welcome.

Any time that you are able to contact him would be so wonderful to hear about it.

We know that you are busy with school and all, but any word would be FANTASTIC to hear.

Thanks again for your help,

Jeff

[care4u]

Dear Sue and to Mattsdad too,

I accidently posted my message on the wrong forum. Could you please go to coping with loss and read my quote. I lost my quote twice for going over the time limit. I geuss by the third time I got a little careless. Sorry about that.

Care4u

[angelwings56]

Dear Care4u,

I think it's wonderful what you are doing. I had a Psychic once tell me that I had this gift too but I need to open my mind to it. Does that make sense? I am writing to you today because I know my parents are trying to comunicate with us. We are in the prosses of selling their house and deviding up their belongings. My sister and myself (we were the closest to them) are trying to be fare. The other two who hardley ever saw my parents are making things so difficult. My sister and I have been having odd things happen lately. One night my Sister was very upset. She had been crying all evening thinking about my parents. At 2:30 a.m. the phone rang waking up her and her husband. When she answered, no one was there. She looked at the caller I.D. and it said 555-5555. She tried calling that number but of corse there is no such number. 2 days latter I was home alone and reading a hateful email from another sister regarding my parents house. I started crying really hard. All of a sudden my sons CD player turned on up stairs. There was a Beatles CD in it but the hole CD wasn't playing. Only parts of one song. It didn't sound like it was skipping. It sounded like it was turned off then back on. It played the same words to the song for 20 minutes. Finnally I decided to write down the words and as soon as I did it stopped. This had never happened before or since. The words were "GET BACK HOME. SWEET LITTLE DARLING DO NOT CRY. I WILL SING YOU A LULIBY. YOU'RE GOING TO CARRY THAT WAIT A LONG TIME" My sister and I were always there for my parents. They split everything 4 ways but the other 2 want more. It breaks my heart. I hope I get more messiges from them. It feels great to know they are with us during this time.

[angelwings56]

Dear Lauraa and Care4u,

Thank you so much for responding to my post. Lauraa---- I will read Hello From Heaven. Care4u----Thank you for the message. I will tell my sister. I know it will bring great comfort to her too. I could write a book about all the things I have experenced in my lifetime. I am so happy to have found this site and talk to people who truly understand. Thank you again. Denise

[care4u]

this message is for everyone here,

To all of you that had asked for me to communicate with there loved ones, I have not found anything on the net that could help to make the messages more accurate, but what I have found is that when I am reading the posts and my heart starts to get involved, that this is when I begin to feel your loved ones are with me. After reading some of the posts I begin to shake which is there energy vibrations with me. So what I was wondering is if you guys wouldn't mind doing this for me. Rather than me going back through all of the posts, I thought maybe you guys could e-mail me a brief overview of your story, regarding your loved ones and I will take it from there. I don't want you to think that I am fishing for information though. I just find that once my heart is involved, this is when I feel the energy strongly with me. So I will leave this with you and I will waite to hear back from you.

Lots of love to all,

Tammy

P.S for anyone that I have already sent a message to, I don't mind doing another communication.

[maskott]

Care4U...Jeff and I would like you to try to contact Matthew again if you would. If you need any other information please let me know.

[nurseconnie]

My dad has finally gone and left me forever. Just when I needed him the most

I was hoping for some signs that he would be around just to help me get through the holidays. Life here pretty much stinks... sometimes i think it would be just easier to let go and go where he is,

Of course... that's not an option for me.. i have too much to do .. and too many people who depend on me...

Of course he did too.......hmmm................

He obviously didnt care that he has ruined my life.

[suelowe]

As you asked, Care4u, a brief overview of information for you....my mum died last year in March 31 in hospital....i just want to know if she's ok, what she's thinking of and if she's really proud of me.

She's left a gaping hole in me, and i'm not sure if that will ever be filled. just having her picture isn't enough for me right now.

i'm hoping this helps, but if not, please let me know.

thank you

sue

[clittlelady]

Care4U:

I guess I'm here because like everyone else, I'm walking through this vast valley of grief over the loss of a loved one. The dark, overwhelming fog and emptiness. My mother died August 30th. She was 86. I was her primary care giver. I was her late in life baby, she had me at 42. We were always so close, had a special relationship. I was her youngest of five children, her only daughter. I stayed at home longer than any one else, I was 22. She was in the delivery room with me when I had my son. As she aged, I was there for her. Made sure she was taken care of and had sitters. Made sure she had everything she needed. She remained in her own home. She became increasingly difficult the last year or so. Her health diminished and she had dementia onset. She became extremely unhappy and bitter most of the time. Helplessness and weariness were in her eyes. I did everything I could for. My brothers did very little, actually borderline neglectful.

Three months ago she passed away. She had been ill for several weeks before and I had taken off of work to be with her. Never left her side. She went into the hospital with congestive heart failure and suffered a stroke which left her speech impaired. Her kidneys were shutting down. The doctors allowed me to take her home to die in her own home and she knew that's what she was going to do. She told me she was ready. I did everything to make her comfortable. Stayed at her bedside. A few nights before she passed, She began stretching her arms and hands towards the ceiling of her bedroom. She was smiling a beautiful smile (which I hadn't seen in so long). I asked her what she was looking at, what did she see? She said "Angels." "Everywhere!". I told her that I'm sure they were there and when they called for her, that she should go, that I would miss her everyday of my life, but that I would always keep her and her teachings in my heart. A few days later, she slipped into a coma and after eighteen hours, she took her last breath. It was peaceful, no struggle. I had loved her, bathed her, sang to her, played her old gospel hymns for her. I was holding her when she died and until the coroner arrived. It was so bittersweet. So surreal. I had to drag myself through making the arrangements, mostly by myself.

A few days following her burial, I was cleaning her house, going through some things and found her will. It designated my eldest brother as her executor and left everything, including her home to him. I was so crushed that she didn't even mention me, much less my other two brothers (one is deceased). It wasn't that I wanted anything or needed anything, because I didn't. The sad part is, that this brother, along with one of the others, never even paid for her burial. I paid three fourths of the cost and one brother paid "his part". I'm left in a confused state. My grief is overshadowed with anger. I just don't understand. I made so many sacrifices and gave her so much of me. I loved her and protected her. He took money from her, large amounts. He wouldn't answer her calls and wouldn't go to see her. It just doesn't make sense. Now I'm left to pursue legal measures against her estate, just to regain the money for her burial. I'm not interested in her home. I always envisioned that when she died, I would feel her close to me, a warmth, a love. I don't. I have no peace about this. I will never be the same.

Thanks for listening.

[lauraa]

Dear Care4U,

My husband was in his prime and then snatched from us....he suffered so and in the biggest way. I think he truely went from a broken heart. What can you tell me about him? I am so terribly lost without him and try daily to love life again. We loved each other to the bone, the debths of our hearts, our souls touched. Thank you.

[clittlelady]

CARE4U::: To add to what I had given you previously, I have had one night a few weeks ago where I couldn't sleep. I have been taking prescription sleeping pills since her death. This particlar night, I wanted to try to do without them. My husband was already asleep and I was just dozing off when I felt an uneasy glaring at me, not nice, cruel. This feeling frightened me and I pull the covers up over me and got as close to my husband as I could. I told him I felt an uneasy being by my bed and he said it was just my subconscious worrying about everything, for me to go to sleep. I remained so close to him and wouldn't look back to that side of the bed. This is the only time this has occured. When my husband has to work graveyard shift and is gone all night, I sleep on the sofa in the center of my house, with my cat and dog, just feel safer. She and I have both had experiences in the past.

[care4u]

CARE4U::: To add to what I had given you previously, I have had one night a few weeks ago where I couldn't sleep. I have been taking prescription sleeping pills since her death. This particlar night, I wanted to try to do without them. My husband was already asleep and I was just dozing off when I felt an uneasy glaring at me, not nice, cruel. This feeling frightened me and I pull the covers up over me and got as close to my husband as I could. I told him I felt an uneasy being by my bed and he said it was just my subconscious worrying about everything, for me to go to sleep. I remained so close to him and wouldn't look back to that side of the bed. This is the only time this has occured. When my husband has to work graveyard shift and is gone all night, I sleep on the sofa in the center of my house, with my cat and dog, just feel safer. She and I have both had experiences in the past.

Clittlelady,

You remind me of myself. To this day I sleep with a light on. All my life I felt like I was being watched as soon as the lights went out. Although for me it felt like spirits were having a party. I felt like I was surrounded. You can imagine how this terrified me growing up. I now know that it was my spirit guides and loved ones and that I was just very sensitive to feeling them. I have been doing a few readings and lately my abilities have been coming on very strong. I am able to communicate with our loved ones in ways I was not aware I was capable of. I have a few more e-mails to reply to yet, but if you would like me to do a communication for you, I would be more than happy to. Just let me know, although I may not be able to reply for a day or two since I am busy with work during the day and school at night, but I will definitley get back to you.

Take care

Tammy

[clittlelady]

TAMMY: Whenever is convenient for you, I need some kind of peace. I feel like she must really hate me for something and I don't understand what or why. I thought we were so close. I miss her so much. She has left such an emptiness. Grieving her is so difficult because I'm angry too. I don't know if you can help, but if you can, I would be eternally grateful. I know you have a full schedule. I work long hours and bring a lot of work home as well. Just whenever you get a chance is fine. I trust you. My heart is so torn and I just want to heal. Thank you for your time. Connie

[annietina220]

This morning I had a dream about visting my best friend Tina Ayer's cross at the Station Nightclub Fire site. I no longer visit that place because I

don't want to be where Tina lost her young life. Now since this dream,

I feel more torn and depressed than ever.

-Annie

[clittlelady]

CARE4U: Tammy, did you get the response that I sent you to your email? Strange, I've tried to send it to you twice yesterday. The first time it was just gone. I've Returned to my inbox this morning and now your email is gone. Please let me know if you received my response following your message to me. Thanks so much. Connie

[seekingsolace]

Annie,

I could be wrong here, but I sense you are blaming yourself for something around Tina's death. Tina knows what is in your heart now. That is what matters. You deserve to feel peace and make choices that give you peace. Listen to your heart ...not the shoulds ...and have compassion for yourself ..as she does for you. Even if your head doesn't get this, I trust some deep part of you will. Listen to that part ...It knows.

Everyone,

Your pain, your suffering, your confusion ...your heartbreak ...my heart weeps. Know that you are being held. When the heart breaks ...it also opens. They are still with you. Trust in that. Feel that.

Softly ...