Losing Grandma is like losing Mom all over again- but worse

[d9701]

Hello- I did not know where else to post this, but I know that my beloved Grandma would be honored that I considered her to be a parent. I am struggling with a lot of emotions, and would appreciate any comfort or advice. My mother died suddenly when I was 12, and my Grandma was the only one who had the decency to tell me how bad off Mom was, and she took on the parental role as much as she could, especially given my pitiful excuse for a father. I was Grandma's favorite grandchild and she told me constantly, but all of my cousins and a majority of my aunts and uncles hate me to this day because of it. This and my moves to advance my career and education caused many months of non-communication, and other family members were quick to tell Grandma that I didn't care about her. But she always knew better and said that no one would ever take my place. This is why I was never informed of her death at age 94 nearly one year ago- Grandma came to tell me herself in a dream, and I googled her name after waking up and learned the news. With my recent attainment of an advanced degree, and the impending one year anniversary, I became curious about her death. So I ordered her death certificate, and it arrived yesterday, and opened up the wound even more. This loss is worse than any others I've endured, and I still cannot believe she is gone. I know she is with Grandpa now, still wearing her wedding ring as she did each day of the 30 years she was a widow. Please give any advice. Also, I apologize due to this being one paragraph, as the enter key would not work for some reason.

[foreveratheana]

I'm sorry for both of your losses. I also lost my mother. Hurts more than anything. Your family pisses me off because no matter what you are family. My family is kind of the same except none of them can get along or be around eachother unlesss its a funeral.I'm so terribly sorry about your grandma. Now my biggest fear is loosing my brothers.but I would like to talk more because we both know the same pain.I can tell you my story. I would like to here but it's hard because its on my phone and the screen is different.

You can email me at atheana.pollard1996@Gmail.com

[Lostwithoutmum]

Sorry about your losses. It feels so unfair to know about your grandma's passing via the net! Is it possible that your family were trying to protect you by hiding this from you? Although from what you say this does not seem to be the case..

I've lost mum recently, and I had been away from home for some 9 years for study/advancing my career purposes but I was lucky enough to have returned home and spent the last couple of years with mum...seeing mum pass in front of my eyes just when I thought I was finally reunited with her - is the hardest thing ever, still feels surreal..there were still many things I longed to do with her, many hugs I wanted to give her, many moans, many laughs....

You are not alone - but your grandma will be so proud of you so don't let anything or anyone spoil that for you