Step Daughter getting married - we both lost our mom's - need ideas

[eiangel]

I lost my mom 5 years ago and am still struggling. I have 2 grown kids and 5 grandkids. Last year I married a widow with 2 grown kids and I fell in love with my stepdaughter.

My stepdaugther is getting married in a few weeks I adore her, just love her, we click.

Does anyone have any ideas as to something I can do for her or give to her from me, that will give her the feeling that her mom is there while also reassuring her that I love her so much? She was very close to her mom and we also have gotten very close.

She wants to wear my earrings that day but I want to do more.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. 

[4froggies]

Your post hits very near and dear to my heart.

I married on June 2nd of last year, my father passed suddenly 3 weeks before my wedding day. I truly struggled with the fact that I was getting married without him by my side.

One thing I did was I made a special bouquet, one that looked just like mine, just for him and delivered it to his gravesite the day before the wedding.  The other thing I did was I took a piece of his jewelry (in this case a ring) and I tied it into my bouquet. As I walked down the aisle, I had my dad's ring on my thumb as a symbol of him holding my hand as I walked down the aisle.  The other thing I did was I had a memorial vase that I bought, in memory of loved ones who could not be with us on our special day and I bought a fabulous bouquet of various garden flowers to fill it (my dad loved the outdoors).  I had those flowers brought into the reception as a quiet tribute.  My brother walked me down the aisle, but when it came to the part where they say "who gives this woman away", the minister says "who supports this union" and my brother responded with "our family".  Representative of all of my family who was there to support me on that day.  I had long dreamed of my dad saying "her mother and I" and not hearing that was devastating. 

One thing I wish that I had done was known about the song by Train "when I look to the sky".  It is all about a loved one not with us in body but in spirit. It truly lifts me up.  If I had known about it at the time, I would have played it at my reception.  It would have been a sad, but happy moment at the same time. 

Your best support is to be there for her. How wonderful that she was able to find a stepmother that supports her and loves her so.  I think the earrings are a beautiful idea and one that she will always cherish.

I wish all of you the best of luck as you go forward with this wonderful celebration.  If there is anything you need, or she needs, for that matter, drop me a line. I would be glad to help as I can. 

Good luck and enjoy the beauty of the day. As broken hearted as I was at my dad's passing, I still saw 'him' in everything I did that day. I missed him a lot and had many tears, but know he was smiling down...