Emotional issues, physical symptoms

[LizzyW]

I have been reading "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye", which is a good read regarding the grieving process. So many points by the authors are spot-on. I am 7 weeks into the process, and seem to be having some physical symptoms of emotional origin- extreme tiredness, tingling in my legs, occasional dizziness and palpitations- things which are mentioned in the book. These things make me feel like I'm either going crazy, or have some catastrophic illness, as-of-yet undiscovered. It's a nerve-wracking thing to live with for me, as my normal state of being is pretty calm and laid-back. Do you guys have similar symptoms? What do you do about them, or do you just put up with it?

Thanks.

[ModKonnie]

^{Hi LizzyW, When my father died, I had dizziness, chest pain, my arms and legs tingled and all kinds of other odd physical symptoms. I had to use relaxation techniques, mediation, prayer and exercise to help me feel normal (although I was afraid to exercise at first because I thought I was having a heart attack or stroke). After a few months, most of my symptoms went away, although I now notice when I am extremely stressed or emotional, I get the chest pain, the rapid breathing and the dizziness. I have to talk to myself with positive self talk to get myself to calm down. --ModKonnie}

[LizzyW]

Thanks ModKonnie.

I was thinking of taking a yoga class or something similar, to give me something else to focus on. I am alone here at the house much of the time, and I think it would probably be good for me to get out more. My husband and I spent 5 days per week here together, and the quiet is deafening at times.

[catz]

I think physical symptoms are inevitable given the huge emotinal upheaval youe going through. Personally, ive found that i can start to have anxiety attacks over really simple little things...by this i mean, fast heartrate, shallow fast breathing, and feeling nauseous and shaky. They can also turn into panic attacks with hyperventilation and feeling faint....not pleasant. Fortunately i know how to deal with them but they can be scary. Ive alao had pretty much constant digestive upsets, and also had an attack of cystitis. I also have headaches most days, and have severely sore neck and shoulder muscles, as well as pretty much constant low level asthmannnnot major wheezing, just a catch at the top and bottom off the breath, but enough to have me constantly feeling just slightly out of breath. A good relationship with your doctor is pretty important. Im going back to mine this week to discuss getting a referral for physiotherapy for my neck, and to see if we can alleviatethe gastric issues. I think if youre worried about any physical issues youre having, go to your doctor. You can also look into natural remedies, which are more gentle than drugs. Im going to try an old remedy for insommnia using honey and cider vinegar, as i really dislike sleeping pills. The other thing is ofc that you need a doctor who understands grief and grieving, and some really dont....if yours is one of those i can only suggest changing doctors.

[LizzyW]

Thanks catz. I do have a new doctor, and I went to her last week, and have an appt for tomorrow. I told her what is going on, and she thinks it may be my thyroid, but my thyroid levels are all low-normal. She is very sympathetic, though, and will gladly let me talk about whatever. I told her that I realize my symptoms could very well be psychomatic, and she gave me a script for a beta blocker to help with the palpitations, and some ativan for anxiety if I need it. I am also taking a high-dose vitamin D (my level was low), and a weekly b-12 injection, plus a good quality vitamin supplement, and some l-carnitine. I had some labs run last week, and they were all surprising good, except for the vit d. I did buy some St John's wort and some passion flower to try and help with sleeplessness and what could very well become depression.

[catz]

Actually yoga sounds like a brilliant idea. It tends to be very calming and soothing....like moving meditation as a friend of mine put it. Just make sure you get the right yoga style for you, as there are many styles around these days and some are anything but soothing.....though it all depends on what you want. Its def something i might look into for myself too. Thanks for the idea LizzyW.

[needy]

In the beginning I certainly had every symptom in the book. Just like you Lizzy I was calm and laid-back, not now. I am still tired and struggling with the emotional part and when I mean emotional I mean every emotion and it can swing from laughing to crying to anger to fustration to anxiety in a blink of an eye. And that wonderful fog is still there not as bad as before but still there. I am tired feeling like this.

I am now reading "Mindefull" books. I am struggling on the concept but not ready to give up on it yet.

[LizzyW]

In the beginning I certainly had every symptom in the book. Just like you Lizzy I was calm and laid-back, not now. I am still tired and struggling with the emotional part and when I mean emotional I mean every emotion and it can swing from laughing to crying to anger to fustration to anxiety in a blink of an eye. And that wonderful fog is still there not as bad as before but still there. I am tired feeling like this.

I am now reading "Mindefull" books. I am struggling on the concept but not ready to give up on it yet.

To the bolded: I hear ya. I'm used to feeling calm and collected. Right now, I am feeling like life is out of control. I guess that's to be expected, when half of you has disappeared, and you can't get it back.

[catz]

Out of control is it really. Ive always been able to let the universe take care of things......it has never let me down or rather, it HAD never let me down. Now tho i just cant trust anymore. This terrible thing happened....how can i trust that ill be ok? short answer is i cant. I miss that sense of certainty that i used to have. This morning i walked past the bedroom, as i have every day for the last 8 going on 9 weeks, saw Alexs wheelchair, and just collapsed, howling and sobbing. I dont know why it affected me like that this time out of so many, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that i would never see him again. I feel like im back at the beginning of the process all over again and i just want to crawl away into a hole.

[needy]

Yesterday something funny happened and I said to myself "got to tell John about that one". My brain quickly corrected itself, that wasn't pleasant having a slap back into reality. I am having issues, just not exactly sure on how to handle them. I know time is going to help but I need help right now. I tried councelling unfortunately the therapist set me back, her nasty comment unfortunately will be with me for a very long time. Just not willing to pour my guts out to someone else, pay for it and be damaged again.

I sit back and try to analyze my situation. First I have my home life with my sons. We all have decided it is best for us not to sell the house but we all agreed the place needs work. We are having some issues but we are going to work them out.

Extended family now that is a whole other story. My side of the family really hasn't kept in contact too much since the funeral. My brother and sister in laws call from time to time and stir up a whole bunch of emotions. My husband didn't really like his siblings for many reasons. I think I now understand why. I have to learn to keep my big mouth shut around them which is hard since I am such a honest person. And that is the part that I am stuck at. Then what??

[LizzyW]

Yesterday something funny happened and I said to myself "got to tell John about that one". My brain quickly corrected itself, that wasn't pleasant having a slap back into reality. I am having issues, just not exactly sure on how to handle them. I know time is going to help but I need help right now. I tried councelling unfortunately the therapist set me back, her nasty comment unfortunately will be with me for a very long time. Just not willing to pour my guts out to someone else, pay for it and be damaged again.

You could always try a different therapist. They will differ from each other in approach. You might consider trying to get some input from others in your community, as to which therapist might be a good fit for you.

[catz]

Im so sorry that you had such a bad experience with your therapist needy, tho given what youve told us about it, im glad you kicked them to the curb. I do think a non judgemental ear is important for recovery, but i can really understand your lack of trust. Personally my sessions with my counsellor are a lifeline, as without her id have no one to talk to, save Alexs mother and theres a limit to how long you can spend on the phone. It doesnt sound like you have much outlet either, and thats important for you, so if you can possibly bring yourself to try again, it would be well worth it.

[IMISSTAO]

I have physical symptoms, too. Feel dizzy, headaches, sleepy all the time ... I feel as though I could stay in bed for days and days. I was going to acupuncture and felt better, but since I have just moved and haven't found a new one, I feel like dog doo. I just completed Tao's celebration of life with over 100 friends and family, and I am wiped out. While it was great, it took ALL my energy. I need to get out and do more stuff like exercise, but I just want to snooze. Ugh!! I hate feeling this way!