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I Believe in God...


BreathofAngel

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Blessed Mother Mary and Teacher,

I feel so alone and that no one understands me. The recent Muscular Dystrophy Telethon and the article in the paper brought back a flood of memories for me. I miss Josette so much. My heart aches for her. I don't know what to do. It has been such a long time. I wish the pain would go away, but it does not.

People are so intrusive sometimes. When I want to talk about it, there is no one there, or they try to understand but cannot or do not. I am not angry with them or with you. I am just sad.

Please bless me and protect me,

Thomas

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Hi Thomas. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain tonight. When days are heavy like this then you are doing the only thing you really can do, reaching up to your Creator. There are days when absolutely nothing can make me feel whole again; those are the days that I pray harder than I ever have. I want to share a scripture with you if you don't mind. Before my brother died, I would never have shared scriptures with anyone, not that I was ashamed, but rather I didn't want to push anything on anyone. Scripture has gotten me through this so far, that and good friends here. How could I not share it when it has helped me in my healing. I will pray for you and hope that you find some peace in your heart and that He will hold you as you cry. Peace and blessings, Jackie

I stand by this promise that He has made to me.

Jermiah 30:17 - "I will give you back your health and heal your wounds, says the Lord. Now you are called an outcast - 'Jerusleum for whom nobody cares'"

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Hi everyone, this is my first time on this thread. My 20 month-old daughter Sydney went home to be with The Father almost 5 months ago. She had an acute ascending urinary tract infection - the medical examiner said it was so fast-moving and involoved there was nothing we could have done even if we had caught it. I realize I've been expecting God to take the rest of us home by now, but since that hasn't happened :) I'm coming to grips with the fact He's not done with us yet.

I want so badly to make the most of this fragile life, none of us are guaranteed a day. But I feel stuck. I feel all revved up with no ability to engage my gears. How can I be patient?

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Dear Jackie,

Thank you for being so considerate of my feelings. Namaste, and peace be with you. The MDA Labor Day Telethon is like one of my anniversary days. I cannot watch or contribute to it anymore. It makes me miss Josette, my wife, all over again, and I cry even though it has been a long time.

Sydneysmom,

Please make sure that you rest and that you eat. It can be difficult for friends to understand, but reach out to them. If you begin to feel you need professional help, please do not be afraid to seek it out.

They can be people who understand and who are helpful.

In peace and gentleness,

Thomas

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4everjoeysmom

Hi Laura, I'm doing well. Been posting here and there on the child loss board, but not much in this one lately. I want to think it's a good sign that it's been quiet--like everyone is holding onto the Lord as their Rock. I think about everyone a lot, and it's been SO LONG since Mark has posted. I truly hope he and family are hanging in there and doing ok. How are you doing?

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jackiewitter

Laura & Claudia,

I was just thinking the same thing about Mark. Have neither of you heard anything from him by email? It seems that there is so hard to get involved with someone that is caring for someone who is ill. Grief I can talk about, I know those feelilngs very well, but caring for someone that you love who is so ill, I just cannot imagine. I don't even know how you would prepare yourself for something like that. Both my parents went so quickly that there never was the time to prepare or dicuss, then of course Jeffrey's passing was so unexpected. I am starting to ramble now, lost in my thoughts I guess.

Hope you both are well. I hope that you feel His love all around you. I can feel it at times, I just have to remember to take off my depression cloak so He can get closer! Peace and blessings girls, Jackie

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Thanks for responding Jackie & 4everjoeysmom:

I know what it is like to care for a spouse and parents who are suffering through a long illness....it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life...and at the same time hold our entire family together. There is no time to grieve at the time of all this as we are on auto-pilot but after, well....Oh my, I crashed! It has been alittle over three years now for me and the hole in my heart lingers. Life surely isn't the same, nor will it ever be. People think if I just found somebody else then things would be great for me......WOW!

I pray Mark is o.k. I have written emails without response. I do know the exhaustion of not even being able to write.

I hope your o.k. Mark and your Mary and children. I am praying for you all.

I am also holding you all in my heart daily for peace and knowing.

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4everjoeysmom

I liken the scars on my heart to the scars of Christ--His hands, feet and the spear wound in his side that he asked Thomas to touch to prove He was in fact Jesus risen. His scars will forever be a part of Him as they identify his sacrifice. My wounded heart, my scars that will never completely heal from the loss of my son will forever be a part of me. True! One day, I will not be sad, when I enter my destined eternal life. But that does not mean that my scars will also not remain a part of me and my sacrifice. Maybe they won't remain once I reach heaven and maybe they will. But I do know undoubtedly that they will be a part of me for every day of this life. The identify me as a woman who loved and lost, and a woman who has been healed but scarred. It is just a part of who I am now, and no one ever, ever will be able to slide into that scar and cover it as if it never happened. If that were the case, and I could become completely whole again as in pre-scar whole, would I have learned anyything of the sacrifice I did not willingly give but was called to give? Some people, you are so right, just haven't a clue when they say things and make such silly assumptions... but then the world is so full of such foolishness--a good reason for needing a savior, eh?

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jackiewitter

Claudia that was beautiful, but I don't want the scar in Heaven. I don't want to remember any of this. I know loosing my parents and brother have defined the person that I am now; but I don't want to be that person for long. I will try and use what I have learned and reach others, but when I am done, I want this to be so far away from me. I want to relish in the reunion with my family and I want to join them in praise of our Savior.

One thing that stuck with me from that book "90 Minutes in Heaven" was how he spoke of the praises. Everyone in unison singing praises. I believe that I have post before how my mom used to sing and she did not have a very pleasant voice and how I truly believe that when she arrived in Heaven that God gave her the most beautiful voice so that she could sing His praises just as she had done here all of her life, only now she could sing with a beautiful voice. Then that would be part of the vanity thing wouldn't it. My mom sure didn't care what her voice sounded like, now I am ashamed that it embarrassed me when she sang so loudly.

I hope that you both have a wonderful weekend. Are either of you experiencing fall weather yet? It is still dreadfully hot here, but you can feel the changes coming. Prayers for you both and of course for Mark and his family. Peace and blessings, Jackie

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4everjoeysmom

No FALL weather here...just the onset of the RAINY season, which I suppose is our winter, but it lasts for 7 months. Yuck! It doesn;t reain all day long, but it does rain every day now, mostly afternoo9ns and nights. The mornings are still blue and beautiful for a few hours anyway.

I hear what you're saying, Jackie. I don't think that we will have scars in heaven. I was kind of thinking out loud. It sure feels like my scars will last forever... But I know Jesus' scars are forever permanent. He gave up His perfectness in body so that we could have perfect resurrected bodies in our eternal life. And the Bible does say we will be in our perfect state in heaven. SO I'm sure that must mean your mom's voice also now is perfect, according to God's definition of perfect I suppose. But then any one of us who sings our praises to God, it is sweet music to His ears, and pitch doesn;t matter to Him. How cool is that! Your mom has always had a perfect voice to God. It's funny you speak of he singing though, because Joey also sang in poor pitch, but he loved music, and he praised loudly in church. I always smiled, thinking to myself God bless him! :) It's a nice memory now that makes me smile--something unique about Joey that I can still hear. In that sense we are blessed that they did not sound so perfect to us here. I think it makes for a stronger and more loving memory. Don't you? Hus and Much Love, Claudia

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jackiewitter

Claudia, I love how you kind always, always, find something positive and uplifting in every situation. But you are right, if my mom had sung more beautifully it would not be so indelible to my memory. To this day I can close my eyes and see her cutting up a chicken for dinner and singing Victory in Jesus. It is amplified primarily due to her offkey tone. My father had a beautiful voice, he and I sang in church frequently but those are nothing like the memories of my mother. When I get there I am going to sing so loudly with my family it would rattle every rooftop. My Mom never sang with us because of her voice, but we will all sing together there. Sometimes I just can't stand waiting...know what I mean? I just don't want to be here any longer. Know what I mean. Is it Paul that speaks of that in the Bible, not wanting to be here but he must? I should look that one up, I do know how It speaks of being happy no matter what state you are in. Pray for me on that, because all I seem to do is yearn to be with my family. Much love to you & to Michael's safe return. Peace and blessings, Jackie

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4everjoeysmom

Yes, Paul speaks of this in the Book of Philippians:

Phi 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Phi 1:22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.

Phi 1:23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.

Phi 1:24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

Phi 1:25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith...

I agree! To live is Christ, and to die is gain! Let it be so that His will for our lives allows us to seek and fulfill in our hearts the joy in Christ as we await our homegoing, be it ever so sweet. I know what you mean!! :)

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4everjoeysmom

P.s. Michael is home. Yay! We are enjoying the reunion...

I love you Jackie, and yes, I will pray for you specifically for the desires of your heart. I believe God is doing something very special in you to share with others of His love. Hugs, Claudia

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Hi Everyone:

I could use all of you for prayers......My energy is very low and I am the #1 support for my youngest brother who is in another state. He has been quite depressed, mostly due to severe facial pain....and, caught up in the spiral medical system constantly waiting for specialist appts. He feels suicidal. Please send your prayers his way as he needs all the support he can get...so do I.

Thanks

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4everjoeysmom

Laura, I am praying for you and your brother... I pray for his healing and his tender mercies to rain down and wrap you in his love and light. May his peace and the promise of a hope and a future carry you through the dark valleys. May his help be ever present in your time of need. Love & Hugs, Claudia

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Hi Everyone:

Has anyone heard from our friend Mark? I am worried about him and his family. He isn't posting or responding to my emails? Let's all join in prayer for him and his family.

I hope everyone is weathering o.k. Thank you for your prayers for my brother...he is having a really rough time of it....depression is such a difficult thing. He is being passed around in the medical field without getting the help he needs. He is so fed up with things. He is rock bottom.

I think we all know what that feels like.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Mark....please if you are reading let us know how you are....we care for you and want to help in anyway we can.

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4everjoeysmom

Laura, I think we're all concerned for Mark, and he is not responding to anyone, which leaves the wilds of imagination growing. All we can do at this point is pray for him and his wife. We know the situation with her health is not good, and that Mark has had such a rough go if it now and again. What we do know we can pray about, and what we don't know we can simply as God to meet their need, because God does know. I think Mark knows he is loved by so many here, and I pray when he feels up to it he will come back and visit old friends that will always be around for him.

I'm so sorry your brother seems lost in the shuffle of typical institutional thinking. It stinks!! You and he are in my prayers too. Blessings and Hugs, Claudia

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Laura & Claudia

I too have been praying for Mark and his family. So much loss and pain, it just seems to much sometimes. I hold fast to His promise that we will be together again. I try to view that they are already there just getting everything ready. They are getting a head start on the praise and glory that we will experience with them.

Sometimes I don't want to come to the website because there are so many new post of loss and pain and it brings on fresh new emotions, but I believe that possibly God has placed me here to help, as Claudia helped pull me through this dark time and to focus on what are the important duties of our lives. I was placed on this earth for a reason, I am still confused as to what it is, but perhaps it is to reach someone who is struggling with their faith, as I was when I came to this website. Maybe that's where Mark is right now, it's just too painful to deal with because he seemed to focus more on everyone elses pain rather than his own. I too believe Mark is aware of the love and prayers that he is getting from this board.

I am sorry for your brother. I hope that he can find the right help. It seems that so many people are simply being given medication after medication until one is found that will put all their emotions and feelings in a proper box. Have you had any luck with a Christian therapist? I am sure that you have tried, but just thought I would pass that along. He is in my prayers as are you my sister. Peace and blessings, Jackie

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I just wanted to drop in and say hi.  I definitely believe in God.  He is my hope and strength through the loss of my son.  I read a few posts in the "I don't believe in God forum" and it broke my heart. I honestly don't know how I could get through this time if I thought my son was truly gone forever in the blink of an eye.  I am so lucky to have a hope that endures all of life's worst losses.

 

Sal

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I agree with you Sal...I haven't lost a child (Thank God) but my hubby passed away in July ..and with out God in my life..I KNOW I couldn't make it ..Yes I was very angry at him when he took my soul mate so unexpectedly ..But I know in my heart we are his children and he's holding us in his arms...without that HOPE we'd surely lose our minds..someone ask me this question ..How do I know Heaven is real...and when I die how am i going to feel if it's not..my reply to them was How do I know it isn't real..the risk is just too great not to believe..I have too many loved one's on the other side waiting for me..I surely am not going to Risk not believing..Heaven is looking sweeter everyday !!!!

Your son is such a precious looking boy ...so sorry for your loss Sal...

Hugs and prayers for you and your family  Sal

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alwaysmyjennifer

Hey kids, I'm sorry for vanishing like Houdini, but shortly after May 22, Jenni's Day, I crashed with a heart attack.  I've been trying to allow myself more self time. Jenni's adoptive parents and I were given the only human remains, four teeth, which we cremated and divided into vials. Far too emotional to talk about in any casual setting. But, I feel far closer to her than her than ever before. My wife isn't at all well, and the doctors think she has perhaps another year or two.  I can't talk publicly about my career, but I'll email you all about that.  Should I need to be on the road for any extended time, I'll stay in touch as much as possible, but you know what it's like to get wireless internet service from Singapore.  There is a little downstep to my world travelling.  I'm no longer allowed to fly: something about that latest heart attack.  Who am I? A doctor?  hehehe. I'll give you all more later, but for the moment, I need to get to the studio.  Love ya all, lots. Mark

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Mark - So very glad to see a post from you - so many of us had missed your words of kindness and encouragement.  Sorry to hear that your wife is having so much difficulty.  Do hope you band endeavors will soar!  The act you and Jen's adoptive parents did with the teeth was something to read about.  May you continue to let God hold on to you.  Hoping that you will be able to stay in touch.  Take Care!

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Mark, How very exciting to see your post again!  I am very sorry for the circumstances causing your absence, but you have remained in my prayers along with everyone else on this board.  Personally I missed you immensely.  I have only been here a year, but your post were so uplifting and many times right on target.  You have a God given talent for true compassion. 

I think it is wonderful that you were able to share Jenni w/her adoptive parents, what a difficult position that must be.  Please take care of yourself, while we all suffer of a broken heart here, you must also deal with your heart's health.  Please know that you are in my prayers and I pray that your wife will have mercy and comfort and that God will continue to watch over her.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

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John 11:32-35

Then Mary, when she came where Jesus was and saw him, fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled; and he said, Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord come and see.” Jesus Wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

 

The day Mary’s brother died I can imagine the questions and pain in her eyes…

“If only you had been here…I believe you could have saved him…

Why, Jesus …..Why did my brother have to die.”

Her thoughts spinning with numbness and shock.

Grief and pain…separation. Never to see him again. Not to hear his voice aloud or see him smiling with his friends. I can’t bear this pain Lord Jesus. How could you let me down. If only you had been here Lord…Our dear brother might still be around.

What were you thinking Lord Jesus on that fateful day?

You knew even while they wept and mourned that their brother would soon be raised.

Still your eyes filled with tears as you felt your friend‘s pain.

You wept for their loss and you cared.

You knew that such pointless deaths would continue until your own task you dared.

Was it just for Mary and Martha you cried? … Or could it also be …that the tears you wept spanned across time and were also your tears shed for me. Tears of pain and sadness for the curse that our own sin brings. Death and separation from the one’s we love and from God for all eternity.

Did you feel my pain years before I was born

when you wept for Lazerus that day?

Did you see my tears and hear my cries from such a long ways away?

Oh how I cried the day my boy died. Shock, disbelief, horror and pain.

I still live in a fog thinking my son can‘t be gone. He can’t be buried in that grave.

I know the pain and the questions that Mary must have felt. The whys and the what ifs that kept spinning round and round. I am jealous that she had you physically present with her to raise her brother back to life. I wish the same could happen for my son whose body still lays in its grave. Couldn’t I too have just a few more years to love my boy and tell him how much I care?

You are God Almighty without sin or need to suffer. Why did you allow yourself to feel such horrible pain? You willingly suffered and died for our crimes. You took our curse upon your own flesh so that we might be eternally saved.

Your love and your understanding of our pain must have spurred you onto your task,

To provide a way to end the curse of death…so our separation wouldn’t have to last.

You took all our pain and loss and the suffering of death on your own shoulders the day you died. So that my little boy could be with you now enjoying true life at your side.

I can’t wait to see him again. Such joy I can’t even imagine. No more weeping and no more loss. The curse of death lifted by your death on the cross. Thank you Lord Jesus. For providing a way for my son to live again with you today.

 

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Hi Rodless - I agree - this site has been tooooo quiet of late.  It is one place I check to see how others who believe as I do come to state that even in our darkess times we have a loving God to lean on, who will lead us thru or even carry us thru whatever comes our way.  May all who visit here feel the comforting presence of our beloved Father in Heaven and may we celebrate the real reason for Christmas - the birth of His Son Jesus Christ.  Take care!

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Hey all,

My name is Jim.  Recently, I lost my father in a plane crash.  Being so close, he was a loving dad to me, my brothers and sisters as well a great husband to my mom.  Late at night, when the grief sets in and the tears begin to fall I find myself sitting on the computer helplessly wandering around the internet.  Running into this forum, I read through the posts and found such inspiration that I just had to respond with own post.  Sometimes it seems like the world just doesn't understand, like our society in all it's wisdom can go to the moon but cannot even come close to soothing the feeling of loss.  I call myself a Christian but at the moment where I should find faith, I only feel anger, rage and confusion within myself.  You don't even know me, but the encouraging posts here have made one night a little better than all the previous ones for this young man.  I just wanted to say thanks.  

-Jim

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Hi friends.  I have been reading but not posting much.  This time of year crushes my soul because I miss my family so much.  I have to stop and remind myself that because of His love, I will see my family again.  I think of the song my mom used to sing "This world is not my home, I'm just a passin' through".  I sat out last night on the porch and talked with her, listening to the quite for her voice.  She reminded me in my thoughts that God is watching over my youngest son in Iraq and he is caring for the other three as they move forward in their lives.  My children are all young adults now and I wish that Mom, Dad & Uncle Jeff were here to see them, I am sure that God gives them a peek down sometimes. 

I pray for each of us on this board, I miss Mark and his post and I miss Claudia.  I pray that we feel God holding each of us as we make it through this Christmas and that we deeply feel the love that HE has for us as He sacraficed His Son for us.  May you all fell His arms around you as we try to get through the next few days.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

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I hope everyone was able to find some special moments of joy during the Christmas season. I went to a Christmas in the Barn service on Dec. 24...very simple and quiet. Later I went to Christmas Eve service at my church and the music was beautiful but I didn't begin to have the same feeling of comfort and peace that I had in that chilly barn sitting on a hay bale, smelling animals and watching the Nativity story. It's so easy to get lost in all the trappings of Christmas and forget what the season is all about.... a celebration of God's promise fulfilled.

Wishing all of you a healthy happy new year.... 

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4everjoeysmom

Jim,  Anger for a time is very normal.  I don't genarally like using the word normal, but we all go through feelings of anger when we suffer significant loss.  With deep faith I felt it too.  Please do not be disouraged and lose hope or faith.  God is lifting you when you cannot go on your own strength...  Bless you, and I am very sorry for your loss.

Rodless, the barn nativity and the sights and smells---what a beautiful, wonderful picture of Christmas.  It sounds perfect!  I went to Christmas Eve service with my son Patrick this year, and it was very peaceful.  I feel so blessed to have been able to visit him and do that this Christmas season.  We did lots of the other stuff too, like bake cookies together and visit friends and family near and dear.  But I agree with you, there is nothing like being taken into a moment like you were that speaks the perfect picture of Christmas.  Thanks so much for sharing your Christmas.

Jackie, I miss you too!  Sorry it's been so long...  I have so much catching up to do now that I am home after 7 weeks away.  But I promise, I will be in touch more and soon.  Hold onto a growing hope as we see "A New Day" in 2008.  For This is the Day the Lord Has Made!!

Blessings and much love, Claudia

 

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misshimstill

Hi, all.  I've been sifting through all the different pages people can post on.  I'm glad I found this place where we're all believers and can express ourselves without fear of giving offense.  I've posted before on the widow forum, but found it to be frustrating and even sometimes depressing.  I've read Claudia's comments at many different places and am always encouraged to read her.  I recognize the names of some of you here, but didn't know for sure that you were believers until I saw your names on this site. 

My story is a little different.  I actually lost my husband 35 years ago.  He died of a giant ruptured aneurysm of the aortic valve when he was 25; I was 21 and pregnant with our first baby.  Long story short, I repressed my grief, remarried, had more children, went on with my life, only to discover several years ago that I had not dealt with my grief.  Not to worry, though!  It was still there!  It hadn't gone anywhere.  It was still deep within me, and it needed to get out.

It's been a few years now since the feelings of grief, long suppressed, made their way to the surface.  For me, the last few years has been like he just died, even though it's been now 35 years.  I still struggle with feelings of longing and a desire to see him again that is almost stronger than the love I have for all my children and grandchildren, not to mention my husband, also of 35 years, that I all but despair of hope that I will ever regain my joy and love of life. 

It has gotten better as the years since the resurfacing of my repressed grief first began, but I still struggle more than I can describe.  I have a strong faith in Jesus Christ and hold firmly to the hope we have as Christians that I will see my husband and others who have died in Heaven again some day.  But you all know how it is... we all have those bad days when it's a struggle to hold on.  I am also a bit confused by the very popular belief in communication with the dead.  It certainly is an attractive idea, but one I'm not sure is Biblical.  On the other hand, I'm not sure that just because the Bible doesn't speak directly to the subject that it is unBiblical.  I have had many dreams of him that were oh, so sweet - dreams that made me feel that he had actually been with me - and what grieving person wouldn't be attracted to such an idea? 

Well, I've gone on a lot.  Just trying to give you a picture of myself and the struggles I have.  Hope to hear from some of you.  

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4everjoeysmom

misshimstill, I'm so glad you posted from your heart.  As mush as it aches, I know how releived I am sometimes just to get my feelings out.  It's always a special blessing when someone responds with love and compassion.

I've studied long and hard Biblical context of after-death communication.  The best supporting evidence I have against it in Biblical text is the parrable of the rich man who in hades wanted a drink of water, and then wanted to be able to verbally go and warn his family against what he was suffering--to which he received a big fat NO.  There are other passages in Scripture of warnings against the use of mediums and so forth.  It's all there, and I actually have some study notes if you would like to e-mail me and ask for them.  One of the things I won't get into here on BI in depth again is speaking against what others may believe.  Like you, for me its a nice idea or concept, but I have no Biblical soundness to believe it.  And the Bible is a tool for reproof, so I have to pay attention to that.  I personally believe that our subconscious minds and our hearts dream and seek comfort, and often we find it, but only temporarily through the subconscious means.  And I am always aware the enemy can play tricks, so I haven't prayed and asked to have that.  I also believe that sometimes God gives us little gifts and insights to comfort us in our pain.  I would not be surprised if lots of times it is God's presence being felt, and how He must grieve so when we seek our loved ones lost over Him.  Again, though, that's the way I deal with ADC's, my understanding in Biblical context, and my grieving heart's desires.

I can't imagine what it must have been like to imprison your grief  for so many years, and how much more difficult it must have been to finally allow it to flow freely so that you might find some healing.  Do please keep in touch, and share your heart if it helps.  There is always someone here to give compassion and virtual HUGS.  Today it is me, and I am thankful to God that he led me here to your post.  I hadn't been active on the boards for a while, and even so now I have only posted in a select few places.  Blessings for peace this day, Claudia

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I have also thought about mediums and trying to receive communication from my son.  It is funny how much our hearts long to hear from the people we love.  Curiosity becomes so tempting just to know if you could really talk with someone seperated from you by earthly death.  While reading the Bible I have come to the belief that no matter how much I am tempted,  it is better to avoid mediums.  God didn't want his people to use them in old testament and I think it is not wise to open up our minds to other powers that might be out there.  If it isn't from God it is from Satan and he is able to twist truth just enough to steer us astray if we come with longing hearts.  That said, I do believe that God can give you visions and or dreams and perhaps even allow your loved one to send you a message in a dream.  I don't know for sure but I am open to the idea.  My husband had a dream that our son hugged him and told him it going to be ok.  It was a dream that was so out of the normal for my husband that I think it could have been Joshua.  I wish he would come to me in a dream but he hasn't.  Blessings to you and may the peace that passes all understanding fill your soul.

Sal

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misshimstill

Claudia and Sal,

I appreciate both of your observations on such a sensitive topic as communication with our loved ones who have died.  I agree with both of you wholeheartedly on scripture's forbidding of consulting mediums and other such attempts to communicate with the dead, and I quickly say that I have never been quite so desperate that I would abandon my beliefs about that.  However, as both of you (I believe - I'm not able to look back at what you wrote) say, God does often speak to us through dreams, and this is the avenue of communication I am most unsure of in my own mind.  As I said in my earlier post, I have had a number of wonderul dreams of my husband, most of them in the recent years since my grief has resurfaced - maybe a few in long years past.  The recent ones, however, have been very vivid and real, so much so that when I woke up I was unsure at first if it had been only a dream.  I have never entertained the thought of his or anyone else's ability to "come to us" in our dreams until I started reading on BI, and since it is for obvious reasons a popular idea, it has made me rethink my position on the subject.  I would hasten to add that I have never and would never in the future actively seek out (through mediums, psychics, etc.) any kind of communication with anyone who has died, but when dreams come unbidden and unsought it makes me stop and ask where they are coming from - just my own desires, unconscious or even conscious, or from some other origin.  I know that in our grief we would be very easy prey for satanic counterfeits, which is one of the main reasons I believe that scripture has forbidden such attempts.  In my grief I am trying to be careful to not seek comfort in ways that God would not only forbid, but in ways that would lead others astray if I were to have such experiences and then tell others who are grieving about them.  I appreciate your thoughts on this matter.  Thank you for your responses.

May God's blessings and peace rest upon you both tonight.

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Hi, I've posted here a few times...I'm hesitant sometimes because though I do believe in a Creator/One Being, I am of a different faith than the Christian faith, being a follower of the Sufi path...however, we definately believe in the Divine and also honor all spiritual paths and traditions.  So I hope I don't offend anyone...I'm not sure if this was started specifically for folks who are Christian only.

I've had many, many dream visitations from my partner since he passed.  There is a different quality to the ones which I would call "dream visitations" from him, and ones where he's just part of my dreams.  Often he is reassuring me of his love and his continued presence in my life.  I always wake feeling relaxed, loved and wonderful.  Sometimes he is guiding me to studies and practices to help me in this earthly life.  He was a Sufi teacher with many students in life, and many of them tell me of their dreams with him as well, helping guide them, giving them reassurances, even making suggestions about their practices that he had originally given them (we do a lot of meditation and sound practices).

I have to say that through these dreams and in other signs from Ishaq, I have found a much deeper connection to my spiritual path, deeper than I would have thought was possible after suffering the loss of my true soulmate.  Yet he isn't "lost", he's one with All and can be everywhere now, freed of the constraints of a body that didn't always work so well. 

It seems to me the dreams you describe are similar, visitations from your husband.  Time has no meaning anymore to our beloveds, the days are long for us, but for them the whole rest of our lives is but a blink of the eye...I think they feel our need and come because the love still exists, it cannot die just because the body is gone. 

Blessings,

Anna Armaiti

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Hi, Anna.  Thank you for giving us your thinking and experiences with this subject.  I actually read a couple of books that you recommended several months back, the one on lucid dreaming and one other (I can't remember what its name was now).  This is a real struggle of mine because although the idea of my husband "visiting me" is so appealing, I have to be careful as a Christian because in Scripture we are cautioned against seeking communication with the dead, as it is against God's will.  I was asking people on this site if any of them have any "revelation" on the subject of dreams because this is obviously an appealing idea to me.  However, having said that, I feel Christians need to be very careful here because we are definitely dealing with the spiritual realm and aren't always sure what "spirit" we're stirring up.  I appreciate your thoughts on the subject.

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4everjoeysmom

misshimstill--I usually post in Loss of a Child threads most often because it is my son that passed from my life here.  Whenever I have shared from a Biblical worldview and my Chrostian beliefs, usually someone will generously point out that I can post here more appropriately.  But the reality to that is that even here there is no clear definitive for "which god" is being referred to--the God of the Holy Scriptures, the God of another sect or faith, etc....  and so it becomes a melting pot here too with the potential for people to find offense.  My point in bringing this up is to say that I understand you also seem to be rooted in Biblical truths as your foundation for your faith.  I started a new thread under loss of a child that is called Grieving and Healing from a Christian-Biblical Worldview, so that hopefully there could be a place specifically for Christians to share and grieve without offending others by what we might share with one another--specifically scriptural based.  It is not created to preach, per se, but is a place where we can very specifically understand we are speaking of God from the Bible......   Even though it is in a child loss forum, I don;t think that should deter you from visiting there if you would like to walk a journey with other Christians who are grieving.  The common thread is our loss and pain, and our journey to healing through Christ's love.  I will continue to post on many other threads as I always have, as my intent is not to segregate myself.  I merely wanted a very defined place for us, believers in the Biblical Christian faith, to share our journey as well, so that perhaps we wouldn't unintentionally be offensive to others in our dialogue.  With that said and an open invitation to join us, I wish you much comfort and peace, in Christ, Claudia

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Perhaps you could also start a separate thread here under religious beliefs for Christians, Claudia, such as I believe in Jesus Christ. Although I am a Christian, to me the use of God in the title of this particular thread speaks of a universal belief in a greater being so maybe having something specific to the Christian faith would clarify the issue? I think there are some who would feel more comfortable if that was sorted out....both Christians and those who follow other ways.

As far as dreams go, one of the books I read was written by a Christian minister and it suggested praying that you be allowed to dream of you loved one. Wish I could remember which book it was. I have read many on the subject of afterlife and heaven written from all points of view and found something that spoke to me in each one helping me make decisions for my own belief system. Mary Jo

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4everjoeysmom

Hey Mary Jo, if you ever remember that book title, please do share.  I remember praying so hard in the early days to have dreams of Joey, because I just missed him so much and NEEDED to see him, even if only in a dream.  I dont; know if it was for the sake of subconscious protecting me or what, but I just could not dream of him.  I went to sleep each night praying that prayer.  Over the past few months I have had 2 dreams where I know Joey was there, but I could not actually see him.  Once I was ta the beach and some friends and Joey were there.  My friends were doing something I don't and offered me to join in smoking their joint, and I declined, siting that I was uncomfortable of what they were doing because my son was there with me.  Very strange...  it ended there.  And then most recently I dreamed that I was with a group of people at a big dining table, and there was another table just behind me.  joey was sitting there.  I was enjoying fried plantains, and just as I turned to ask Joey if he liked them, my dream stopped immediately.  I was so discouraged when I woke up.  I knew he was there!  Perhaps in time my subconscious will allow me up more to dream of him and actually see him.  I have to only assume at this point that my heart is not ready...  Thanks for sharing...   Hugs, Claudia

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Claudia,

I have looked through the books I own and could not find that reference. I work in a library and use the interlibrary loan system extensively. I think I probably borrowed about every book listed on amazon about grief and afterlife so it's hard to know which one that statement was in. I've read everything from C.S. Lewis to Sylvia Browne. If I ever come across it, I will let you know. At that time I was really wishing for just a dream where I could see him as he was healthy instead of so sick so it kind of jumped off the page at me. I don't dream about Rod very much.

My pastor recommended a book called Lament for a Son by Wolterstorff. I borrowed it from him and then bought my own copy because it spoke so well to some of the things I was feeling. It might be something you and others who have lost a child would want to read.

I am glad you started the separate thread on the loss of a child page. It obviously was something people were looking for. Mary Jo

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4everjoeysmom

Mary Jo,  Thank you so much for your support and very kind words.  I am really glad that many seem to be finding their way to the new thread, feeling comfortable enough to openly share--because as you know, faith plays a very huge role in our healing.  I don't doubt that even within our faith, not everone will see eye to eye on everything, and that's to be expected.  But I think we can be a tremendous faith-based support for one another without offense to the vast faith groups out there seeking support within their faith or non faith-based comfort zone.  Entering into a Christian thread, or any specific topic, is a choice.  And being clearlky marked as such, hopefully those that don't believe in the faith can steer to threads that better speak to their needs rather than us openly sharing on a general thread and inadvertently offending someone--which seems to always be the case.  Anyhow, thanks again for saying so.  I do believe it was much needed.

On dreams, I have never been a vivid dreamer, so I think expecting to all of a sudden begin having vivid dreams of Joey just because he isn't here anymore may be over the top.  It's possible my dream patterns could change, but seemingly unlikely...  don't know.  The idea of not having dreams about him doesn't bother me so much as it did in the early stages of my grief.  I'm finding peace, slowly...But it's coming, and I am grateful, with or without dreams.

Blessings to you!  It's been encouraging to witness your healing as well...  It's a lifetime journey...   -Claudia

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[align=center]God clearly warns us against mediums, and the like, in many Bible verses.[/align]

[align=center]The Israelites often made the same mistake and turned from God, although God clearly warned them about this. [/align]

When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God. The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination. But as for you, the LORD your God has not permitted you to do so (Deuteronomy 18:9-14).

Saul, Israel's first king, started out well.
He expelled mediums and spiritists from the land, yet then violated God’s word and his own conscience by consulting a medium (1 Samuel 28:3-25). His end was tragic (1 Samuel 31:1-6).

New Testament Christians turned from sorcery. Let their example serve as an inspiration and a warning.

Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed their evil deeds. A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly. When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas. In this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power (Acts 19:18-20).

 Warnings about mediums and spiritists

Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God (Leviticus 19:31).

I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people (Leviticus 20:6).

When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? (Isaiah 8:19).

 
Warnings about divination, sorcery and magic charms

Do not practice divination or sorcery (Leviticus 19:26).

Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against your magic charms with which you ensnare people like birds and I will tear them from your arms; I will set free the people that you ensnare like birds (Ezekiel 13:20).

The idols speak deceit, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd (Zechariah 10:2).

"So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty (Malachi 3:5).

 

 

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I want to ask if its okay to have a dream out of the blue where you are told you can't touch or kiss the dead person but they say they are ok. I need to know because I am a christian and I just had this dream about my daughter and this is the first one where she isn't sick or in a hospital bed like I last saw her. I just am mixed up about physic dreams and all and didn't read anything into it other than she was at peace. I can't even remember what she looks like without looking at her picture. I didn't see her clearly in the dream I saw her hair and outline. I need to know about this I've only had one other dream about my mother who is dead.

Deb

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Deb - Not sure what you mean about being ok, but something happend this past week that has eased  this year long misery.  I had a dream. I had not sought this out by wishing for it, it just happened.

I dreamed of a place of bright, brilliant white light. So bright I couldn't open my eyes properly.  As I squinted to see where I was, I thought I saw Mike.  He was just sitting there.  Someone said 'make sure its Mike. Check for the bump on his nose'. It was a bump he got playing basketball, fractured nose, 11yrs old.  There it was.  He looked at me and smiled.  

I woke for the first time with a peace I had not experienced in over a year. 

Whether this is the mind working to ease our thoughts or a larger intervention if you like that signifies the peace our children have found I can't be sure.  For me  it was - Micheal letting me know enough is enough........

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4everjoeysmom

Deb, I don't know if there is any cleaqr cut answer about dreams, and I am no expert by any stretch of the imagination.  But I, too, am Christian.  And like you, I've had glimpses of my son Joey in dream.  I haven't been able to see him fully, but I know it's him.  We can know our children are at peace and filled with joy in their eternal life in Heaven with God, because Scripture promises this to those that receive Christ as Lord and Savior.  I wouldn't begin to judge or speculate from dreams.  I know that God has given me precious dreams at times.  And often He protects my dreams and I don't recall dreaming at all.  I remember as a young 20-something year old, my grandmother died in the middle of the night.  She and my grandfather raised me from birth to 2 years, and I believe there was an unbreakable bond shared, even across continents and oceans.  During that night I had a dream that she was with me.  I couldn't see her, and I felt as if I were being carried, and she was behind me or carrying me.  I believe now that it was actually God that was carrying me, and in that very moment that she died, I woke and looked at the clock.  The next morning my mom came over very early and told me the exact time of her death and that she was leaving to go to Germany for the funeral services.  I remember that dream so vividly, still.

I hope this helps to ease your mind about your dream.  I pray for the peace of the Lord to be yours this day and always, Claudia

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Deb,

I, too, am a Christian.  Funny, we've been having a lot of discussions lately about dreams.  I believe dreams are very important to us in many ways.  The Bible speaks often of God guiding people through dreams.  Just for one, Joseph was instructed in a dream to take Mary and the child, Jesus, and go to Egypt.  This was done to protect the life of Jesus during the slaughter of babies in Bethlehem.  I don't think dreams are good or bad in and of themselves.  You are asking if it is okay to dream about a person if that dream comes "out of the blue", if I understand you correctly.  I've had many, many, many dreams myself.  I've been a vivid dreamer most of my life.  I had two dreams that I'll never forget.  One "predicted" my younger brother's death; the other "predicted" my husband's death at 25.  I've also had dreams of my husband in which I speak with him and spend time with him that have been very comforting to me.  I hope our answers help you in some way.  ~Oneta

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Thanks to all for their insights on dreams. I had a dream about my daughter dying four years before she died and three right before she died I think God was preparing me for her death and thats why I accepted her outcome easier than I would if it came out of the blue. I've had two dreams about her now and in both I find myself feeling peace after I wake up. I didn't know if these dreams were of God but I do know that I'm more at peace now.

Deb

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Deb,

I can tell you that I believe my dreams were from God.  Both dreams (of my brother and my husband) occurred about a year and a half before their deaths.  The one of my husband occurred more than once. 

Strange as it may sound, even though I had those dreams, particularly the dream about my husband, I was not prepared in any way for his death.  I dismissed the dreams completely.  Even after he began to get sick, I should have immediately thought about the dreams and been more prepared, but I wasn't.  I guess it was just denial.  Up until the moment he collapsed, I did not believe that he would die.

I know that God does "talk" to us in our dreams often.  He probably would do it more than He does if we expected it.  The Bible is full of examples of God communicating with His people through dreams.  I would say that if the dreams made you accept her death more easily and the dreams give you peace, that's a pretty good indication they came from God.  He wants us to be at peace, even in our grief - maybe I should say especially in our grief.  ~Oneta

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I too had dreams of Jeffrey.  I had a strange dream of him the night before his accident.  I thought that it was just a coincidence, but now I am quite sure that God prepares us for events.  We are His children and He prepares us just was we would try to prepare one of our own.  I wish that I dreamt of Jeffrey more often, I wish that each night I could sleep and have his visits, but I relialize that is not the path that God leads me on.  The pain and sorrow that I have is something that I have to carry and God's grace and love helps me through this.  I truly believe that he gave me this burden so that I could try and help others.  Without this pain, I don't recall ever trying to reach out and help someone else, I couldn't because I didn't know what it was like.  Prayers for all of you.  Perhaps He will give us a dream soon, at the very least His comfort allows us to sleep at night.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

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Jackie,

I agree.  He gives us the dreams when he knows we really need them... or just as a gift to us.

Going through this experience makes all of us much more sensitive to this kind of pain in people's lives.  We would be like everyone else if it hadn't happened to us.  I keep telling myself that when I get discouraged about people's insensitivity or lack of understanding.  God is our strength.  He will carry us through it.  Thanks for posting about your dream.  ~Oneta

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