Feels like I can't be open and honest about my kitty's death

[borbs]

I had to put my sweet kitty down yesterday. We had been together for 15 years. He barged into my life and I'm so much the better for it. It may sound pathetic to anyone else but here I figure I will have empathy when I say, no one loved me more unconditionally than he did. It's only been a day so I know it's fresh, but I feel like I can't even go out because so many people act like "it was just a cat". Well, that "cat" responded to me every time I felt bad, came to me every night, walked my kids to their bus stop and back literally for almost 12 years and never wanted anything but love from me. He looked at me and I felt connected to him. I knew he knew I loved him. He was one of my best friends and I feel as bad as when I lost my mother. I have other cats but he was my love. I have never actually stayed with my pet when they've been euthanized so the visuals I have in my head are tormenting me. I know it was the right thing to do and I owed it to him but it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I just want him here with me. My heart hurts so much.

[Cynder]

Dear borbs,

It is completely understandable to grieve after losing your best buddy that you've spent 1.5 decades together. He was an integral part of your life.. and your children's lives. He was a member of the family .. and now he is no longer with you. Nothing seems the same, does it? Your routine is thrown out of whack.. feeding, changing the litter, him greeting you at the door, cuddling.. and it's completely normal to miss him. He wasn't just a cat. ..and he cannot be replaced .. it's not like buying another tv remote when the old one goes. I very much relate to what you are saying when you look at him.. there's an understanding.. he knows that you love him. I get it. Unfortunately he could not remain longer with you.. at least he had the best life he could have lived.. one that included you. I'm sorry for your loss.

[immissingyou]

Not at all pathetic. You obviously had a wonderful relationship with your cat and what a tremendous thing to be grateful for!

[jandrysiak]

Hi Borbs,

First, I want to express my condolences for your dear kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely understand where you are right now. Sadly, on May 28th, 2013, I had to put down the love of my life, Sabbath. Sabbath was my fur child and companion for 22 years. I got him when I was 15 years old. My whole life revolved around him. Especially, his later years where I had to treat him for a variety of ailments, including diabetes. The day "Sabby" died, was probably one of the saddest days of my life. I still cannot put into words everything that I am feeling at this time. I'm numb - and I feel like my heart is hollow. There is an absence in my life that may never be filled again. I, too, feel like I cannot freely grieve his death. Even some of my closest friends and family have made insensitive comments. They aren't "just pets". Our fur children form bonds with us that no human bond can come close to. Although, I am not there yet, I believe you will find solace for your loss. YOU WILL SEE YOUR KITTY AGAIN!! And the next time you see your baby, you'll get to spend eternity with him. I truly believe that!!

Take time to grieve.... talk about your pet.... look at his pictures (even though it hurts).... keeps his memory alive and know that one day, you'll hold him in your arms again.

[Kiki's mom]

It would only seem pathetic to mourn the great loss of your very loving kitty to someone who has never felt the great unconditional love of a pet and thats a shame. You should never feel a negative feeling about how much love you had for your baby and how much or how little or in what way you choose to show your emotions. He was NOT just a cat or you would not be here posting about how fabulous he was ; ) We all understand , anyone who has felt the closeness and tragic loss of your furbaby totally understands your pain, anger and confusion. I too recently as of June 6th 2013 lost my heart KIKi she was with me 13 very loving years and her death seemed like the worst day of my life. You are NOT alone in your pain and when you feel bad you should give yourself a big hug and come surround yourself with people who understand what you are going through. For me reading stories , although they were sad and I cried through most of them actually helped me because i realized i was not going crazy with grief and i am not alone in this seemingly everlasting pain. My kitty died in my arms at home and it wasn't as calm I completely understand the whole visual thing , However You did the right thing your baby died peacefully and you did an awesome thing by helping him to the other side. You did a beautiful thing and the last face he saw was the face of the person he loves so much. Our hearts hurt so much because we love so hard ... xo

[Crazycatlady]

I can so relate.

[Tricia_TD]

I'm so sorry about your loss. Our pets become part of our family, with their own personalities and foibles. No way are they 'just a pet', and only people who have never had a pet could say something like that.

You'll miss your furry friend for a long time, but he'll always be in your heart and memories, so grieve for him for as long as it takes, and ignore the people who can't understand.

[Steve s mom]

So sorry for the loss of your kitty.sometimes the kindest thing we can do for those pets we love is to let them go when we know they are suffering and that it is best for them,even if we know it is so hard for us to part with.

Don't be tormented by your pets passing I am sure it was humane comfortable and peaceful,your pet knows you love him and were doing the best you could for him.our pets will remain here or ever in our hearts ,just as other family members we have lost.

You will be reunited them someday ,across the rainbow bridge.