Members Laura15 Posted May 7, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 HiI don't know how to start, so I'm going to start from the beginning. Nearly 4 years ago Ben came into our lives as an 8 week old black German Shepherd. He had the biggest personality and heart to match. Two years ago he was diagnosed with EPI ( Exocrine Pancreatic Inefficiency ) which meant his pancreas wasn't producing enough enzymes to digest his food. The vet told us we could either put him down then or try our hardest to maintain his illness. We tried everything possible, he responded for a little while but in the end nothing was working. And on the 29th of April he showed signs of passing, this was the first time I ever saw him in pain, he passed in the early hours of the following day.......My whole family seem to have been able to grieve, but I can't. My family can look at photos and videos of him, they can remember the happy times we had with him and the dopey stuff he used to do, but I can't. It's like I can't allow myself to think about him because it hurts too much, every time I do think of him, I expect him to be right behind me, but he never will be. I keep expecting to do the naughty stuff he used to do like going through the bins, stealing food of the side, having "accidents" during the night. I think I'm going to see him at the door to greet us and go through the shopping bags before we even have 1 foot in the door.... One day I thought I saw run out the door, must have been my mind/heart playing tricks. I want to remember him without it hurting.During the day I feel ok-ish but I feel guilty about doing normal stuff like brushing my hair, because he doesn't have a life anymore, but when night comes around I feel sick. I know in time things start to heal, but I can't do anything without feeling guilty, especially when I'm around our other 2 dogs.Sorry about the length of this post.Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted May 10, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Laura15, I am very sorry about the loss of Ben. The hurting does not feel good, but it is part of the healing process. You will eventually be able to remember him and even laugh about fond memories. It's okay to feel whatever you feel. The guilt will fade, too. Just enjoy your other fur babies; they need to enjoy their lives and keep going. Do you have any pictures of Ben? We will be here for you. --ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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