Empty House

[noahsmommi]

Today I went back to my moms house, my childhood home for the last time. I have never in my 25 yrs of living seen that house so empty and cold. The rooms actually looks so small. I couldn't believe how my mother made this lil place home for 25 yrs. It was eerie going from room to room. Saying goodbye to my childhood. My home. My mom. I had been doing pretty good upto this point.. Today im a mess. I feel like the grieving has intensified times 100. So lost. I feel like today I said goodbye to my childhood, felt lost in my present and am blinded on a future without my mom.

[ModKonnie]

Miss u momma, I am very sorry about the loss of your mother. My parents lived in my childhood home for 45 years. It was a terribly unsettling feeling walking through the empty rooms. I felt ungrounded and disconnected. You've faced a profound experience; it will take some time to sort things out and process everything. We will be here for you. Do you have anyone to talk to? Any other family members? ModKonnie

[noahsmommi]

I have my husband. I don't talk to my siblings much. Just felt like I lost not only my momma but my connection to my childhood...

[Lostwithoutmum]

M.u.M it's certainly the people we love that light up the place and make it 'home'.

I was away on a study grant for years and got to spend only 2.5 years with mum after my return. I yearned for her so much when I lived away (I cried in nostalgic fits many times and was so homesick) but at least mum was well and I had her. Now it's a different type of yearning being here - and she has left. It's so hard to process what I feel..

Today, I sat looking at mum's flowers, smiling at how she arranged them, some of the gardening tools are exactly where she placed them, untouched..it's as if she is here and not here at the same time.