orphaned at 23-support please

[triplethreat]

I turned 24 a few weeks ago. Usually I make a big deal about my birthday and plan something with my friends, but this year was different. It was my first birthday, first valentines day, first new years, first christmas and thanksgiving without my stepfather. He died of cancer in june, I took care of him. He was more than a father to me- he was a superhero.

When I was 12 my mother was diagnosed with cancer- he married her 5 days later and promised to take care of her, my brother, and myself no matter what happened.

She died when I was 17, a few months before I graduated high school.

I continued to drink and take pills to deal with my pain. I created a lot of art work as well.

I also now realize I began submitting myself to unhealthy relationships, in search of love that the other could never give me.

Two years later the homicide department knocked on my door. These officers sat me down to tell me my real father had killed himself. My heart shattered. He had been unemployed and battled with his own depression and money problems. I'm not sure I ever really dealt with this loss. until now at least.

Over the summer, when I became a caretaker for my sick stepfather, I prayed to my dead loved ones, for strength to get through another day. It was so taxing. so stressful and unusual for me.

After he died, my whole turned upside down. Not only was I taking on -all at once- a whole swarm of responsibility i never had- to pay bills and watch over myself...

A few months of living in my childhood home- my aunt, the homeowner- essentially kicked me out. Told me they were going to sell my house this spring and my drunk uncle was coming over everyday to tear apart the floors and paint.

I had to move. and I did.

I've lost my health insurance recently. another obstacle for me. The executor of my stepfather's will has shown her true colors- and made it clear that she is neither a good person or a part of my family any longer.

I'm not sure where to get the help I need, within the low budget i have.

I need support-from real people.

[ModKonnie]

_{Triplethreat, I am very sorry about your losses. You've faced some serious situations, but it appears as though you are thinking clear enough to understand you must reach out for help. So, do you have any friends or family you can trust? Do you have a job? Do you live in the US, because you can apply for Medicaid or a state plan for health insurance if you are not working. Is there a family services center in your town? If so, go there and ask for help. One thing you can do is to make a list of things you need and then write down a list of possible solutions. Is there a friend you can stay with? Please do not rely on drugs or alcohol to take away your pain. It is only going to create worse problems in your life, and you will end up feeling far worse than you do now. Let's try to resolve some of your issues clear minded. Are you a member of a church? We will be here for you--ModKonnie}

[triplethreat]

_{Triplethreat, I am very sorry about your losses. You've faced some serious situations, but it appears as though you are thinking clear enough to understand you must reach out for help. So, do you have any friends or family you can trust? Do you have a job? Do you live in the US, because you can apply for Medicaid or a state plan for health insurance if you are not working. Is there a family services center in your town? If so, go there and ask for help. One thing you can do is to make a list of things you need and then write down a list of possible solutions. Is there a friend you can stay with? Please do not rely on drugs or alcohol to take away your pain. It is only going to create worse problems in your life, and you will end up feeling far worse than you do now. Let's try to resolve some of your issues clear minded. Are you a member of a church? We will be here for you--ModKonnie}

I live in new york- and I inherited assets so i no longer can have medicaid. I moved into an apartment that is affordable for new york...I also go to school and I have been working recently as a babysitter.

I havent been relying on drugs or alcohol this time around...though i have in the past. I am trying to deal with my emotions and life in a healthy way.

thank you XO

[mariemb]

triplethreat

I'm very sorry for your losses. I know how hard it is to pick up the pieces after they're gone. I grew up with my grandparents and father since I was a year old. The 3 of them, passed away in a period of 11 months. We all lived together, I took care of them all till' the end. My grandfather was the first to pass away, my grandmum had suffered a brain embolism 10 years ago, so she wasn't fully coherent since then.. she understood things, but she couldn't look out for herself. Anyways, when my grandfather passed away, my aunt ( their daughter ) showed her true colors like you say. She tried to put my mum in a home because she didn't wan to "deal with her" ( Which I have never understood why, if she didn't take care of her I did 24/7 ) ... but me and another auntie fought her tooth and nail. She also thought that she was going to get my grandfathers life insurance money and she took out all these loans a week after he passed away.... shocked is not a big enough word to describe how she reacted when I told her that the money went into a bank account in my gmum's name because SHE was the full beneficiary, and my aunt was the beneficiary in case she had already passed away.

Anyways, to make a long story short, they also tried to kick me, my husband, my dad who was still alive after my grandmums death, and my auntie who is 64 years old and mentally handicapped out of the house that I grew up in. My dad passed away a month ago, and they haven't made any noise... yet. I'm just waiting for the vultures to come.

You just hold your ground and take out as much energy as you can to survive. I'm 27, and I also got left with the responsibility of paying the bills and all of that. It's not easy, it's hard and even depressing at times, but you can always find a way... there's always a way.

Sorry for rambling, I just understand oh to well when it comes to having back stabbers in the family .

I hope you had a better today than yesterday.

M.

[triplethreat]

triplethreat

I'm very sorry for your losses. I know how hard it is to pick up the pieces after they're gone. I grew up with my grandparents and father since I was a year old. The 3 of them, passed away in a period of 11 months. We all lived together, I took care of them all till' the end. My grandfather was the first to pass away, my grandmum had suffered a brain embolism 10 years ago, so she wasn't fully coherent since then.. she understood things, but she couldn't look out for herself. Anyways, when my grandfather passed away, my aunt ( their daughter ) showed her true colors like you say. She tried to put my mum in a home because she didn't wan to "deal with her" ( Which I have never understood why, if she didn't take care of her I did 24/7 ) ... but me and another auntie fought her tooth and nail. She also thought that she was going to get my grandfathers life insurance money and she took out all these loans a week after he passed away.... shocked is not a big enough word to describe how she reacted when I told her that the money went into a bank account in my gmum's name because SHE was the full beneficiary, and my aunt was the beneficiary in case she had already passed away.

Anyways, to make a long story short, they also tried to kick me, my husband, my dad who was still alive after my grandmums death, and my auntie who is 64 years old and mentally handicapped out of the house that I grew up in. My dad passed away a month ago, and they haven't made any noise... yet. I'm just waiting for the vultures to come.

You just hold your ground and take out as much energy as you can to survive. I'm 27, and I also got left with the responsibility of paying the bills and all of that. It's not easy, it's hard and even depressing at times, but you can always find a way... there's always a way.

Sorry for rambling, I just understand oh to well when it comes to having back stabbers in the family .

I hope you had a better today than yesterday.

M.

WOW that is crazy! I'm glad I'm not alone !

[mariemb]

No, you're not alone. Through all of this process I've heard so many stories that just left me with my mouth wide opened, I had no idea that so much crap went on after a loved ones passing away.. I used to think that the family would normally just give support to one another and be way more closer than usual... boy was I wrong.