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My best friend and soul mate is gone.


ModKonnie

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Almost two years ago I lost my best friend and soul mate. Now I'm not talking soul mate in the romantic sense. My Steph was my soul mate in the sense that we were best friends immediately. I loved her just as much as my own family. There was never a time where I was annoyed by her like most of my friends, we never had to do anything to have fun. I just enjoyed being around her.

Almost two years, and everyday I woke up I denied she was gone. I refused to admit I could never hear her voice again. I just kept telling myself she would call me. I blamed it on her fiance. I pretended it was all fake.

4 days ago while going through her pictures I saw a poncho of mine that she was wearing. It always switched hands and we joked that it was our "sisterhood of the travelling poncho" because she took it everywhere. I wanted to wear it with a pair of pants I just got so I thought to myself... I'm going to have to call her so I can get that back..... BAM, It finally hit me. I can't call her. She's not there. I can't hear her voice again, I can't see her. My flower child is gone. I never got to say goodbye.

How do I handle this? I don't know how to cope. Everyone keeps telling me the normal "make you feel better" things. "She'll always be with you in your heart" "She wouldn't want you to cry" It's all rhetorical nonsense. How do they know? I don't care if she's in my heart, she was before. No one will ever experience her love again!!! The universe is a much darker place without her!!

How do I cope with this?

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Gordnier AC,

I am very sorry about your soul mate. Yes, the world could be brighter with people like her, but she left you with that sunshine to carry on and pass on. That's how things operate--you get something, and you give it away so others can have it, too. That's how I reconcile myself with my losses. I don't know if it works for others, but it works for me.

What a great person she sounds like. You cope by talking about her to others. It will help.

ModKonnie

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