Members NiquesMom Posted April 2 Members Report Share Posted April 2 We had to put the cat to sleep today 😭 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michael Rodriguez Posted April 3 Members Report Share Posted April 3 14 hours ago, NiquesMom said: We had to put the cat to sleep today 😭 i am so sorry !!!! how did kyle take it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dianas Mom Posted April 3 Members Report Share Posted April 3 Nique's mom- I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. Our pets have a special place in our hearts forever. You and Kyle are in my thoughts. Love and hugs, Yvonne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted April 4 Members Report Share Posted April 4 Thank you all! It was hard, but it gave us a chance to talk about how love and loss are intertwined. I told him I would never change having nique, or Christopher, or Allen in our lives. But if you love someone or something, eventually someone will be sad because they will get left behind. It was sad but good in a way. But I don't think my heart can take anymore loss for a while. We only had the cat for a year. I thought we would have him a really long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mason’s Mom Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Tomorrow our little spot on earth will be a part of the total eclipse. We are in the path of totality. The last eclipse to pass our way was in 2017, the year we lost Mason. When I think about the year and that we are starting to face the 7th year without him it just doesn't seem possible. Time is often something we think about and mention. It is so unbelievable that the world around us just keeps moving and I feel that a part of the last 7 years are blank and some are so dark I don't know how I have survived. Just a time of reflection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Carol, I’m watching the eclipse from Mexico on TV - breathtaking. Just about everything holds an extra significance these days - even new things that have happened since we lost them leave us sad that they never got to share them with us. I’ve been having some long conversations with my grandson, David’s son , we talk about all sorts but drift in and out of stories and memories of his dad . It makes me remember better times and that is something I’ve struggled with as I’ve focused on his death and all we’ve lost. We are living on opposite sides of the world but modern technology offers links and opportunities for us to connect and David would have loved that. Love Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Virginia, that sounds like a beneficial conversation with Kyle. Such a shame about Allan though - the cat and dog rescue work I did in Asia saw so many sweet darlings not make it - it’s always hard but you made a difference to the life your cat lived and that is a good positive thing. Have you managed to think about your time away on holiday ? It was quite some adventure for you both - where next? Love Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Jackie , How are you and your daughter doing ? I was having a tidy up in our study trying to organise my husband’s art gear and as I was doing so I was thinking about how much you miss sourcing supplies with Garrett - it’s all so painful. Amongst the many folders of drawings I found some cards and letters off David - they would have been scooped up there when he was alive and well with no idea of what would happen in the years until I saw and read them again. Peace to you , love Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Michael, you sound to be very busy these days - that must be a good thing. I hope that your wife is keeping well and enjoying her visit to your daughter’s. Please take care, love Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Jamie , I’m thinking of you - it is a surreal feeling living through the loss of your child . I hope that you are getting some support from those around you . It’s all complicated and painful and sometimes just knowing that others share that experience can bring a sort of comfort. Take as much care of yourself as you can manage. Strength to you, Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jamie S. Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Thanks, Roz. I am doing OK, but sometimes have depressing days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michael Rodriguez Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 thanks roz, yes it has been busy .....but ,deep inside, really hurting as april 14 is next sunday.....3 years already. time really flies ,doesnt it ??!! yet, it seems it was only yesterday that i was walking up and down that hospital aisle. one of b's best friends at school decided to take his own life on thursday afternoon. he had a new born that is just 40 days old. had a twin sister, good looking wife and all the money in the world.....one of the top ten richest families in honduras. yet, he had issues with depression ....same age as brian 32 years old. we were neighbors for a while , brian got a car before he did , so b would pick him up to go to school every morning....nephew of a classmate of mine.....so it really hit hard. you just never know ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Dear Yvonne, I expect that you will be extra sad as you approach the 18th of this month. It is never easy and we all understand how painful it is . How are you coping generally? I probably already know the answer as we seem to all echo our emotions . A cuppa and a chat would be easier than this typing but my kindest thoughts are with you. Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Oh no Michael, that is so terrible - his family must be in agony. It’s shocking. Three years . I remember your first post on the other pages . Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mason’s Mom Posted April 8 Members Report Share Posted April 8 Roz, the eclipse was very moving. Glad I got to experience it with my husband and youngest daughter. So good to hear you are talking with your grandson. Technology has enhanced our ability to connect with others just like this group. Virginia, you continue to be there for Kyle. I like what you told him about how you would still want to have everyone in your life. So true even with all the pain of loss I don't ever regret being Mason's mom.. Michael so sad to hear about the young man you knew. So much to live for but depression doesn't decriminate. Jackie, the birds have been busy. The hummingbirds are back and I saw a few gold finches another of my favorites. Hope the birds are providing some comfort. Jamie, those days are to be expected. Hope we have offered some support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michael Rodriguez Posted April 15 Members Report Share Posted April 15 yesterday was B´s third year since he left us with this huge emptiness. most of his friends gathered at home and had lunch with us. had a mass for him and then evrybody just started to show up. so it was at least bearable. hope everybody is doing ok. rather quiet lately. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 16 Members Report Share Posted April 16 Michael, That is very touching that there is so much love from B’s friends. The years will come and go but we will always feel that emptiness - it is especially sharp on the dates that we all dread. love to you and your family, Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mason’s Mom Posted April 16 Members Report Share Posted April 16 Michael, it is good to have B's friends around. Jackie, I haven't seen anything from you. Let us know you are okay please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jacqueline3 Posted April 17 Members Report Share Posted April 17 Morning to all, I am okay Carol. Have had some very bad days.... Thank you for checking in. I hope everyone is doing okay. Michael, I am thinking of you and B! Love and hugs to all, Jackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michael Rodriguez Posted April 17 Members Report Share Posted April 17 morning, im ok , thanks for asking jackie. how is everybody doing ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted April 17 Members Report Share Posted April 17 Michael, it is a testament to the type of man B was that his friends gathered . Hope it was more peaceful than in the past, hope no big mood swings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dianas Mom Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Tomorrow is the date marking the 2nd year of Diana's passing. I'm in a place of deep despair and sorrow. Have lost hope that I will survive. There's no purpose or meaning to my life. I believed that nothing could be worse than the first year, but I've plunged to the bottom now. Just don't have any strength left, just too worn out, my heart too broken. Yvonne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mason’s Mom Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 35 minutes ago, Dianas Mom said: Tomorrow is the date marking the 2nd year of Diana's passing. I'm in a place of deep despair and sorrow. Have lost hope that I will survive. There's no purpose or meaning to my life. I believed that nothing could be worse than the first year, but I've plunged to the bottom now. Just don't have any strength left, just too worn out, my heart too broken. Yvonne Yvonne, I think many of us try to make ourselves feel better by marking time. There is life before and after. I hope you have someone who can talk with you and a shoulder to cry on. I give myself pep talks all the time and I can honestly say that Mason would want me to keep living. I hope you find comfort and let the grief out in the way that best suits you. If you want to tell us about Diane please do so. If you need to express anger let us have it just don't give up. We care and we know how much she means to you. Virtual hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Dear Yvonne, I’m thinking of you . Trying not to drown in all the misery is very hard but today you will feel what you feel - we all understand. Take care, love Roz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Dear Jackie, always good to hear from you - those extra bad days are horrible but I hope that there are gentler times that are easier to share with Garrett . Love Roz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Yvonne, I think most of us felt the second year was harder than the first. The numbness has worn off, you realize there are no more firsts coming. But, 6 years in, for me, it has softened. It's always there, always on my mind. But I keep stepping forward. The only reason I keep going is my son. He is 10 and needs me to be present. He is dealing with his own grief, and so I know I sometimes push mine aside to focus on him. Do you have anyone else to put your energy towards? I hope you find peace soon, even if it is only in moments ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michael Rodriguez Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 yvonne, i just got thru my third year of missery ; yet i survived it . i hate it , i miss my son ,i love my son , will never stop loving him will never stop missing him but we just can not give up ...i know today will be tough but just try to focus that tomorrow is another day , no different than yesterday so the same as today....pain is the same reegardless of the date, is just another day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jamie S. Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 I finally got my son’s phone back from the police a couple weeks ago. I was able to get into it. I read his texts and got a lot of questions answered. I have a clearer picture of what was going on in the days before his death. It is getting close to the six month mark past his death, and his birthday is coming up at the end of the month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Hi Jamie, I hope that the details in your son’s phone have given you the clarity you needed. It must have been so sad and difficult to go there but what amidst all this dreadful reality isn’t? Anniversaries are always a sharper focus of our days - you will see in recent posts our friends here coping with the saddest anniversary ? Birthdays are another matter and we all find what best suits our family and ourselves. I go very low key and others have a gathering or such . Peace to you, Roz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 Jamie, my daughters birthday is next month, she would have been 25, I cannot believe it. I have never been able to celebrate her birthday since she died. I may mention it to someone, and some family will text, but for me, it is a day I celebrate alone and in private. I hope you have people around (if you want that), and remember it's ok to not know what you want for that day. Whatever you do, or don't do, is ok. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted April 19 Members Report Share Posted April 19 Virginia, how are you now after a little time to take stock of your travels abroad and your cat’s illness - all coming together as they did? That holiday for you and Kyle was such a huge step and I hope it hasn’t taken too much out of you - touring offers so many experiences and memories but it does need you to be forever alert as you stick to timetables and check ins. It’s not a relaxing resort type event ( not my cup of tea) but a whole lot more exciting. Are you both keen to do it again in a different country ? Roz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted Friday at 05:32 PM Members Report Share Posted Friday at 05:32 PM Hi Roz, I am glad we went, and would love to travel again, but it's going to be a little while. I have some home repair issues that need my attention. When Christopher died, I kind of ignored some things, and I am getting my head on straight now. I absolutely adored Scotland and would love to go back and explore further. Kyles favorite was Paris. I have hesitation traveling somewhere when I don't speak the language, it was really hard. If I travel again, maybe with a tour group. How are your daughter and son in law? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Changed Posted Tuesday at 11:05 PM Members Report Share Posted Tuesday at 11:05 PM Virginia, actually they are coming by train to us on Friday - just for the weekend . It was only a short while ago that they came for our delayed Christmas . I will need to shop for some nice easy things to feed them . They are fine and will be off to Italy soon for a holiday - I like it there very much and so do they . The broken neck has mended well after the op but getting travel insurance is now more expensive but that is understandable. i know what you mean about house maintenance- all of the repairs and projects can quickly chunk up if they are not dealt with asap - We have a list to work through both inside and out - mostly ignored last summer and autumn . I’m pleased that Kyle enjoyed Paris - he was looking forward to the sights there wasn’t he? For some reason I have a bad feeling when I’m there and the same with Marseille - my mum was half French so maybe I inherited some distant memory genes.. Be safe, love Roz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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