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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
momofJustin

Loss of an Adult Child

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Lou ann, you make me jealous with a Stan Mikita card!  I live outside of Chicago, across the border in Indiana.  ---about 20 miles away.  This area just identifies with the Chicagoland area because of the proximity. Chicago news, television, radio even the time zone! Most of Indiana is Eastern time but we are Central time. I learned to like sports because as a kid you had really little choice.  One tv in the house and whenever the games weren't blocked out you watched Bears, Cubs and Hawks....

Dee, glad you are better. I don't want to even say how old I am but  older than you and Lou ann.... Love the warmth these last couple of days.  A shovel-able, snow blower snow fell at my daughter's house in Laramie today.

Susan, thanks for posting that picture.  It is things like that that renew hope and faith whatever faith you may have.

Tinay, like Lesley says you have to do what you feel is right for your family and especially Kiona.I know there are others here who had to go through the legal system.  I did not--even though the coroner held Michael for a month after no findings showed any foul play.  It took another 5 months to close the matter.  You do what your heart tells you to do.

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Hello  All   Indigos.........I haven't been posting....(under the weather

with bronchitis.)   I see others have had cold problems also. get well soon

to all who are battling any illnesses.  I think I'm on the mend, so will be back soon. :) 

 

PEACE   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

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Lou ann   

Tears in heaven and Ericas mom.. So Illinois has snowy cold winters, like Canada?  I always think of the states that everybody has weather like California and everybodies lives are like the young and the restless. Lol.   Do you guys remember the philadelphia broadstreet bullies, Clarke, Schultz? My motto was always beat em on the ice or beat em in the alley.  I loved those guys.  What's a hockey game without a few good fights. Oh that sounds awful now.  I grew up in a town of 400. Every Saturday night my dad would go the local variety store get 1 bag of chips and one bottle of pop (a lot smaller size then today).  That was for my parents and five kids. Then you would hear "it's hockey night in Canada" and the game was on.  That was the entertainment for the week. I don't like baseball so have to find something from may to October to do.  That is now (other than my husband and boys) the only thing I get a little bit of enjoyment out of. Sorry I know this isn't a hockey chat line. 

Jeffs mom.  I don't remember that incident but I was in grade 6 or 7 when the metric system came in but I was trained in the imperial system, I wasn't good in math, and never did catch on that much. I still measure by inches.  My husband says he remembers when that happened though.

Mermaid tears. Thanks for posting that picture. It just confirms for me that my daughter had that beam of light with her in the bathroom.  

Lesley glad to hear you finally got some sun. Were you able to get your grass cut? I know how hard it is to get going again once you get down.  

I am so sorry to hear of people being sick and cancers.  I think if we lost a child, that we shouldn't have to suffer with anything else.We have had our share of tragedy.  But guess that is not how things work.  

 

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Susannah   

Hello Indigo's. 

It's been a while.  

I can't express my regret strongly enough over the fact that I deleted all of my posts and Stephanie's pictures. I can't express strongly enough that I showed anything but love and tenderness towards other hurting parents. I can't express strongly enough how sorry I am for judging anyone's journey!
I found you when this was still Beyond Indigo, about 4 months after Stephanie's death....late 2009 or early 2010. You all saved my life. I was looking for relief, but I was SO angry. Not just over losing my daughter, but for the hell her children had to endure. No explanation was adequate. I hated God...any definition of God. I hated being told to forgive.  I just hated...period.
I've had the privilege of meeting some of you face to face. Some of those meeting cemented a true sisterhood; others, well...that's not important, now.
What's important now is another one of us who was here when I joined, lost another child. I worry about mentioning it because I don't want to step on any toes. But, I just read that Lorri Boatright just lost Kimberly.  My heart is broken for her!
I am also walking hand in hand with a dear friend whose son took his life on his 18th birthday...on March 15th. I've sent her the link to this site. 
And, then, today, my Mariah (who turns 16 on Monday) sent me a text that another student, whom she knows from band, took his life this week.  
It is out of selfishness that I come to you tonight.  My heart hurts for these mothers whom I hold so dear. 
Much love,  Susannah aka Stephanie's mom

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Well....maybe many parents just got caught up with the inner stress of facing Mother's Day....Dee...am glad you are better.

Daniel and I planned a trip to New Orleans...Daniel paid his entry into a poker tournament at Harrahs...and I rented the cutest little house on the outskirts of the French Quarter....we usually stay at the Royal Sonesta but I wanted to have something with a small kitchen...and it even had a lush courtyard....well....I started having these twinges on Saturday and Sunday....feeling about 50%....Monday...I felt a little better and was busy getting all lined up for our trip out of town...then I awoke at 2 AM with pain and a flaming UTI......so....Daniel had to get on the road....and I got a Dr. appt. to get antibiotics..you simply cannot ride in a car for 8 hours or walk around the French Quarter with a UTI......am feeling so much better...but...one can not ignore what the inner stress can do.....even with all the precautions I take to keep my immune system boosted....we just can't out run that grief/stress that seems to have a mind of its own...and we have no control over it. I don't fight it anymore....I just let it carry me...until I gain control again.

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Susannah...I simply cannot grasp the enormity...of teens committing suicide...I am 70.....when we were teens....we were so happy to go to dances...do things...Beach Boys...and wearing the new Bikinis....I am beyond sad....so tragic...a travesty...

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shorty16   

Susannah,

thank you for telling our "family" about another angel child.  One mother/father having both daughters die.  I am beyond numb.  I am calling all angels to pray for Lorri and her family.

Colleen, Brians Mother forever

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Lou ann   

So sad to hear of parents losing a 2nd child.  And two more suicides. A young boy in his 20s just lost his life in my city. He cut his leg and then a few days recut the same place. He started getting bad and went to our local hospital ER. They told him nothing was wrong and sent him home.  Some time later they went to London (a lot bigger city 50 minutes away, but superior health care) and he had infection that spread and ended up on life support where he died.  Prayers to all these families as we realize the journey they are embarking on. 

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This was a rainbow sent to me by Tommy, taken from upstairs in my house facing across the street. It is in the same place as the one he sent on his funeral day. So beautiful, fragile and very fleeting gone one minute later, a mix of sun and rain kind of like grief itself. Lifts my spirits.

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Lesley...thank you for your photo of the rainbow...which always gives a message of 'hope'....

Susannah....I am always reminded in many parent's post....we don't have to hoard our grief...there is plenty to go around. I and we know of the dark days ahead for these families.....it is hard for me to wrap my mind around a parent that has lost 2 children.....

but then again.....before I lost John David I could not wrap my mind around losing 1 child....nor could there have been anything created on this earth home to give me insight into this kind of grief...nothing can prepare you. Please keep us informed ...how the parents are doing.

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Oh my goodness NO! Not Lori Boatright losing another Daughter....Her Son losing another Sister? NOOOOO. I am so so sad and so heartbroken that she has to do this again...

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I am at school and have little time but I do know that I have to reach out to Lori and hug her via the internet...let her know that we are here for her if she finds a need. Goodness that Woman worked so very hard to find ways to honor the life and times of her Daughter. Oh such pain. I am shocked. Prayers are headed her way.

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Thank you Tommy, for sending your Momma rainbow and thank you Tommy's Mom  for sharing it with us.

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I do not recall the Mom's name....I joined the site in 2012...but have such a sad and heavy heart for her and her family....

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Susan, Lori left the site prior to your joining...she was a force for sure...funny as heck once she felt comfortable here. When she arrived on scene however, she was like any of us, lost and broken and searching. I remember she was unsure if she was going to stay more than a tiny bit because we were discussing things that were not grief and it was off-putting for her, as it is for many NEWBIES. But she soon saw that the grief everyone had was like her own, that our stories were a sad compilation of our daily appearances here. She started a clothing and school supply fund in her Daughter's name. She and her Husband and Daughter and Son worked very hard to find their way...I just ache in her new loss.

Sherry, I sure hope you are on the mend. Our weather here got very cold yesterday, and wet. It didn't climb out of the 40's yesterday, nasty. It was in the high 80's throughout the week and then Boom, down it went. So I hope for your health's sake, that your weather does not get this...get strong and outside my friend.

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I too felt the need to return here after learning of Lorri's loss. This is the place we first became friends. I traveled to Oklahoma to meet her and again on a trip to Vegas. Lorri has a heart of gold and is a hoot. Her family is one that will do anything for you without expecting anything in return. My heart aches for what they are going thru again. It has been a few years since I left this site. I left due to someone I was in a relationship with who felt it necessary to read my posts then twist my words into ugliness. That chapter in my life has closed and feel it is somewhat safe to return. Im not sure for how long as being here puts me in a downward spiral and that is not what I want nor need. I do think of you all often and know that I pray for our survival daily.

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Just devastated to read about a former member losing another child it is just awful. how cruel to be able to go on with life and succeed over grief and then to be knocked totally flat again by another death. I did not know her but wish her and the family well in this terrible time of sorrow. This life is beyond cruel.

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I can tell that Lori was very much loved by the parents on this site...who then became close friends....and I know that they will circle the wagons for her and her family.

Lynn....we all understand when a parent feels strong enough and ready....to walk into the future of what your world 'is'....I call it the 'that was then...this is now'....many parents have come here to this site and are healed and comforted with the care and compassion that can only come from other parents that have faced 'this kind of grief'....and since I have been on this site...many parents have 'moved on' and I do believe we/they are so brave to face this with whatever energy comes from surviving their tragedy. One of my son's said...'We all knew that if Mom could make it...so could we'....and that brought me the realization that I would have to make footprints on this earth home...that our family can survive a great loss and tragedy. The parents on this site has given me such understanding...(I don't have to explain any emotion..meltdown...breakdown...bad day...good day) ...they offer care and compassion...and that is one important reason I have been able to lead my family out of this dark hell hole of grief.

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Lou ann   

I didn't know Lori either, but can't even imagine.  This is when I really question my faith. Why in heaven and earth would God take a second child too.  I dont even know why he takes one.   All my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.  I hope she comes back to this site where we can all put our arms around her.

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Lou ann   

I planted some purple flowers in my garden today as that was Kira's favourite colour.  Lesley I also planted orange flowers for Tommy.  My dad gave me this cement boy and wheel barrel flower planter a few years back.  He called it little tommy(my dad always has a name for everything). I don't know where he got that name from cause there is no Tommy in our family, but that's what he called it.  So every year i say to my husband what should we plant in little Tommy?  Well little did I know the significance of that would be finding out about your Tommy. So when I look at those orange flowers next to all the purple ones I will think of your Tommy all summer. I am going to try and send pictures but have never done so and not sure if I can get it to work.  Oh and I have a purple ribbon tied around my porch light.

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Lou Ann....what an amazing compliment for Lesley....in remembering her Tommy....and I love the purple and orange flowers. You have a very kind and sharing persona....your girl is smiling...

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Im at ease for the moment of being back. Saddened for the reason and for all the added members since I was here last.
 
I totally understand what you are saying Mermaid Tears. In a sense we have moved on. It's been almost 9 years but there are days when it feels like yesterday and yet it seems like its been an eternity. And yes, those adoring angels will be encircling Lorri and her family. I cant even imagine their pain. Im so glad your family has you to help with guidance. Good job!

Lou ann, please remember that God did not take our children. He accepted them home. I love your photos and little Tommy is beautiful. I appreciate the story.

I know Lorri will be touched from ya'll show of support.

Here's a shout out to Dee who was one of the firsts moms to walk this journey with me when I joined. 

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Louann I am beyond touched. That was such a lovely gesture, I hope your purple flowers and Tommy give you joy. We have to find some joyful and happy moments concerning our lost children and that is one you have given me today thank you.

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