momofJustin

Loss of an Adult Child

59,753 posts in this topic

MamaDukes, it is exactly why it hurts more now, the full reality of losing your Boy has hit, you knew it all along of course, but shock kept you going, kept you off the full mark of time. And now, that time will feel like a ball and chain as you find your way through. We are here to hold your hand and your heart as you struggle through...do not be afraid to grieve here, that is why we exist here, to be able to tell our stories, cry if need be, listen to others, and grieve. Tell us about your Son when you are ready.

Amyann, it occurs to me that perhaps you have not been able to grieve due to taking care of the Girls. Did you take on the care of your three Girls as soon as your Daughter died? It really could be dear, that the very best thing for you is to cry, is to have time and space to weep and fall apart some. I promise you, you will get up again, but when we put off grief for all the reasons folks do: taking care of young ones being the top one...we find we can't move forward much because our grief needs addressing.

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Mama dukes. Sometimes the first year is just so full of shock and disbelief, things don't become real til year two. A lot of people told me year two was harder.  Did it help to go there and picture everything in your head.  Is it something you feel u need to do again or did it give you peace.  I'm not a professional so I don't know the answers are but you felt you had to do it, and that can't be  wrong.  Would it help to talk  to people who where there that night.  I hope you got some peace and comfort from going there and try not to tortuate yourself too much about what happened.  Please keep coming to the this web site.  There are so many kind and compasionate grieving parents all ready to help you. My email address is ltaylor50@rogers.com if you want to connect that way. We just all want to help you.  

 

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On the weekend we did a walking through the woods, what is called a mourning-walk. It's about mourning for your loved one and realizing that there is still a life one lives. Everyone in the group lost somebody , we went through the woods for 2 1/2  hours, sometimes we stopped and the ranger (he organized that walk ) said something about life and death or he wrote a poem......and he talked about the forest, like how a tree dies and showed us how many trees growing on strange places .........there were minutes we were silent with tears in our eyes and minutes we talked about life and even smiled or had a laugh . It felt good to walk through the woods, had some thoughts, laughs, tears and people who felt the same as I.

I also been going to see a professional therapist. Is he helping ? I don't know really, but I sure talk a lot when I'm there. I even went under people a bit, but it still feels strange and there always them days when I 'm falling in that deep whole again of course.

Miss my son so much. Even he always try to make so cool, he had a very good heart and always tried to make everybody smile and be happy. He also was always smiling. I know he's here, telling me he's o.k.

peace and hugs to everybody here

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