momofJustin

Loss of an Adult Child

59,024 posts in this topic

Many parents post about family and friends who are uncomfortable with their grief....why many parents hide their grief ...

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I have got to share this with you all.  This was the most unbelievable and incredible thing I could not believe if it had not happened to us.

We have a few plants on a table by the window.  I am not much of a plant person but one of these plants was sent to me by my work friends a few years ago when Michael's dog Killian passed.  They put a Willow angel holding a dog in it.  The other two came from Michael's service.  So these are special and I need to keep them alive and healthy---and that they are.  Saturday I was watering them and told my husband I needed to get around to trimming especially Killian's because it was so full you could hardly see the angel.  

So last night we did our candle lighting and said a prayer for Michael. In the prayer I told Michael we were going through a hard time with marking another year of him gone and all the holiday stuff making us sad so please send us a sign that you are okay.  Well, afterwards we were watching the hockey game and I happened to look towards the window.  The angel was now on the side of the planter--upfront where it could be seen and no plant leaves were covering it.  It was front and center!  I cannot believe this happened.  Tim was in his chair on the other side of the room.  He got up and had to sit back down.  He said if I had not pointed that out to him yesterday we would not believe it.  Of course, we kept asking each other if you are SURE you did not move it. This is our second unmistakable sign (once the clock radio turned on without being on and played the song "How to Save a Life".)

Something was in the atmosphere---Dee's vivid dream--what mother would not feel such comfort on dreaming about shopping with their daughter!!!- and this movement of this angel..  I am stunned and grateful.  Plus so glad my husband got to see this for himself.

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Thank you, Laurie, Susan, and Dianne... for your kind thoughts and words. I woke up this morning feeling my heart filled with love and at peace. I know that my son is now in a place where he will no longer feel the suffering of this life. He is surrounded by all that is good. I also had a lovely dream in which my good friend that died last March came to visit me. It was the first time I have dreamt of her since her death so suddenly of cancer. Whatever it was that happened in that dream filled my heart today with a very real sense of true peace. 

Thank you Dee for you poems and song. Sherry, I am pleased that your computer is now back up and running properly! Tommy's Mom...one day at a time. In time it will slowly soften. Let your heart guide you.

It is cold as blazes here today. We are in a deep freeze for sure. They are calling for at least another full week of this cold. It is warm as toast inside. Our tree is up, Dicken's Village on the mantelpiece, everything once again as it was. The way he loved it. It took me seven full years to reach this point... we are back on track...but in a different way. A new way. I feel him with me always. That gives me huge comfort.

Wishing you all a peaceful day. Love, Kate

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Kate, Thinking of you and remembering Jeff.

 

Dianne, I believe in signs and have had several from Cara, and this is surely a sign from Michael.  Thanks for sharing your story.

Dee, What a wonderful dream of Erica.  

Thinking of everyone and all of our angels.   Thank you for your stories and pictures you share, even though I can't post often, I think of all of you and your children often.  Our angel tree.

 

 

 

 

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Lora.....I opened my first Christmas present....thank you with a heart of gratitude for our Angel tree. You knocked that one out of the ballpark ! Stay warm and careful this winter.

Kate....am feeling a 'happy' for you....

It is cold as blazes here today. We are in a deep freeze for sure. They are calling for at least another full week of this cold. It is warm as toast inside. Our tree is up, Dicken's Village on the mantelpiece, everything once again as it was. The way he loved it. It took me seven full years to reach this point... we are back on track...but in a different way. A new way. I feel him with me always. That gives me huge comfort.

yes...seven long years of simply surviving each day....and now...you are thriving. Our children do want us to use each day as a gift...the gift we receive is that we have a deep and sacred empathy...and know that the small things are really the big things.

Dianne....oh thanks for sharing. I do believe our children see us suffer so much during the holidays that they do 'touch' us. We need every big or tiny sign. When we share our 'signs' it gives such a great measure of hope to all of us...I am so happy your boy could come through for you and your husband.

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Lora, thank you for that wonderful picture of all of our angels.  It is something I will treasure as I have grown to "know" all those beautiful angels and the wonderful parents who have helped me as I started this journey. You have a gift----and your kindness is a gift.  Thank you.

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Lora, thank you for the beautiful picture of all of our kids. What a wonderful idea for a tree.

Dianne...it definitely sounds as if that boy of yours was giving you a definite sign that he is still around. I am so happy for you!

This is a particularly difficult time for anyone that has lost someone special in their lives. It takes ages to be able to find a comfortable place within yourself where you can once again begin to enjoy those special occasions. We all go about it in our own way.  

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Kate thinking of you especially today. Jeff show you mum and Dad a sign today let them know your near as well as dear xx

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I thought I'd share this with you all . Thinking of everyone and our angels too. Will post tomorrow or tired lately God Bless xxxx

 

“To me, it’s about — whether it’s a loved one or a situation or a friend or a relationship that’s finished, or someone’s passed away — I was thinking about, after you’ve been through the sadness of something, you also get this everglow,” he further explained to Lowe. “And that’s what it’s about.”

 

 

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Dianne----wonderful sign from your dear Michael.  These things that

happen are so spiritual and close to our hearts;  and they are surely signs to give

us comfort......sent down from heaven by our angels.  So glad that

you received this sign. Great pic of Michael and his dog.

 

Georgina------thanks for the saying....yes....our angels are where we are.  Also,

thanks for that nice song.

Kate-----Good to see your post.  Yes.....I agree....it does take a lot of

inner strength....sometimes we have to look hard to find it, but we must be

stronger than we think we are to keep going.

 

Dee-----So nice that you had that wonderful dream of ERi and shopping.

that must have been one of the things that you enjoyed doing together.

I have not had a dream of Dave or Lisa for a long time, but I keep hoping.....

and I know that they often come when we least expect it.

 

Lora----Oh......thank you so much for the lovely Christmas tree which you

graced with our dear angels' pictures.  You are so talented , and it surely warms our hearts. 

 

Susan----Your screen shots are always so inspiring.....thanks.

 

Wishing  all  INDIGOS  peace   and   tranquility.

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry

 

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Cara 's mom thank you so much for the beautiful tree with all our angels 

 

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Thanks Georgina for posting Coldplay. Next to U2 they were his favourite band. My son taught me that a Mom's love is the purest form of love. If it is a glimpse of the love they are experiencing then can you only just imagine their happiness. I am bursting with pride when I think of him. Yes, I am sad that he is not with me physically... but his spirit was way too lively to ever die.

 

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Lora, what a gorgeous tree you have decorated for all of us here. Thanks so much for this gift. They will never be forgotten our Young-Ones.

And thank you Georgina for the music, I do so love Cold Play. I love the song that reminds me of our Babies...You're a sky, you're a sky full of stars...

Holy Cow Dianne, that surely had to be Michael, letting you and his Dad know that indeed he was giving you a sign. He is near, he does listen to your hearts,and he wants you to believe in the quiet small moments that allow you to know he is present. So lovely.

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Jeff Sweet Man...you have been gone a long long while now, but any day without our Child here is one day too long. I know that you have worked to let Mom and Dad know that you are in a beautiful space of time, and I do believe that your Mom and Pop can feel that now. They worked hard too Jeff, to find ways to walk into each day carrying your love and light. I know  you are so proud of them.

Kate, I feel so proud of you as you cross another threshold of time. You have worked hard Kate and along this hard way, you have found precious pieces of your new life, gathered into the same hand as your once life. Blended more now; a mix of what was and what remains. Peace my Friend.

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I so miss my boy....

I have news to share.....my GRANDdaughter...Taylor..(she and Hunter Bear are twins)....is pregnant and the baby boy is due around February 5th. We have known this for some time....her young man comes from a very good family...all Italian...very close and loving. He is older...(which I think is good)..has a great job..(with his family)...she is 'young'...but she is super smart...intelligent. In fact...she has one of those physicist kind of math/science minds...(my Dad and husband graduated from A&M with a degree in Physics...I tell her she did not inherit that DNA from me)....after we absorbed the news...we are in a state of grateful...and welcome the 'miracle'...she and her young man have a great apartment on a marina in Kemah...which is right next to League City where my son lives. Her friends gave her a baby shower the first week-end in December and it was so nice. She has so many loving and caring friends. She was shattered when John David died. She is the one that had a tattoo put in her arm with a part of a letter John David wrote...she wears my Mother's charm of John David's around her neck. I have been pondering this news...how life has so many twists and turns...the surprise around the corner...life is stranger than fiction. I ponder the timing. I ponder reincarnation. I now have to figure out a way to be close to her. I hope she will come and be here with me and her Mom and let us care for her in the first month. I don't know if she will. I don't think the Daddy would like that. It will all work out. So....here at 70 years...I will become a Great-Nonnie. John David was there when she and Hunter Bear were born...he won't be far away from his girl when that baby boy comes to this earth home.

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this says it pretty well....when people tell you to find 'closure'...(there is no such thing)...or tell you it is time to 'move on'....(there is no such thing)....you don't get over it...you get through it...

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Susan, congratulations on the new life your family will be welcoming. Twists and turns--you are so right. Beautiful pictures you shared.  

Thank you all for reinforcing our plant angel movement.  We do truly believe that Michael did that since there is really no other explanation--we are the only two in the house. I even checked and there is the hole in the dirt in the middle of the plant where the angel was residing.  Such an incredible miracle for us.  Certainly  helps lift some of my "out of sorts" feelings.  Truly a miracle gift for us.

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Susan, I am thrilled for you. A new one to love and to bestow kindness and history and spiritual connection to...Your Girl is young, but she is planning for a new life, she will be fine. She has made a decision that she will need everyone to accept and celebrate. I hope too, that she will be able to be with you that first few weeks. Perhaps you can go to her and stay nearby. How far is her home from yours? Not being familiar with Texas I simply have no idea. Great-Nonnie. Love it. My sis is also a Great Grandmom of one. Blink and time forces us to take in all of the changes.

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Susan such great news.  I think Taylor's  tattoo is beautiful i had James's initials on my wrist and that hurt I can't imagine how your grand daughters felt.  Gemma's birthday is on the 5th too  I think I told you all that she is also pregnant again due in April xxx 

Kate I hadn't heard this song and the words just truly touched me. I just love what you said about Jeff " too lively to die " james was too so full of life lived every moment with passion and joy. I miss him. I just wish I could be in the place that you and others are on here. 

Dee I wanted to say I loved your winter song and poem . I just can't keep up anymore. I don't know what's happening to me your poem's are just beautiful you really should get them printed you have such a way with words. Xx 

Lora Thankyou for the Angel tree such a lovely thing to do for us all  xx

 

Diana I missed your  'miracle' I'm so happy that it happened for you I know our angels are sending us signs xx

Thank you Sherry such a beautiful song xx 

God Bless xxxxx

 

 

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Georgia, time is how we are in this space...we were in that same space as you, we get it, we remember what it is to feel so lost and fragile. You will not always feel this way, you will find ways to integrate Jame's death into your life, so that the nest you build in your heart holds the pain right next to the joys. It is in our hearts after all that we hold all the good and all the loss. We actually make our hearts bigger when we repair the shattered parts, in order to hold all that we mourn and all that we celebrate.

I am so touched that you like my poetry. Thank you Georgia.

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A song that I adore, it came on tonight as I was checking my mail...it is one I have posted before but several of you are younger on your journey...

Long Road
And I wished for so long cannot stay.
All the precious moments cannot stay.
It's not like wings have fallen cannot stay.
But still something's missing cannot say.
Holding hands of daughters and sons,
And their faiths are falling down.
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today.
Will I walk the long road? Cannot stay
There's no need to say goodbye
All the friends and family.
All the memories going round.
I have wished for so long.
How I wish for you today.
And the wind keeps rollin',
And theFull lyrics on Google Play Music

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Thank you Dee for your kind words. When I look back to those first couple of years I honestly do not know how I managed. I do know that being able to open up honestly about what I felt was a life saver for me. Sharing my ups and downs with those that understood on this site.

Georgia, we all agree with Dee. Your pain will soften round the edges in time. Be patient with yourself and let your heart guide you.

Susan, that is wonderful news about the new baby on the way. The pictures are terrific and she looks as if she is thriving.

We were not able to get into the site yesterday due to the snow that had accumulated from the blizzard. No doubt they will be out soon to groom the trails for skiing. The cold is supposedly going to ease up by next week. Just in time for Christmas. While I can now listen to some Carols I find there are  few that just are too hard to take.

Thinking of everyone and wishing you all a peaceful evening. Off to watch the finale of The Voice.  Kate

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Kate, I have to go to sleep so I cannot watch the rest of the finale of the VOICE. I am angry at the shows producers for putting it on so late tonight. This old teacher has to go to bed.

Sleep well All-

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