Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

Recommended Posts

  • Members

STEPHANIE, STEPHANIE, STEPHANIE - SAYING YOUR NAME OUT LOUD ON THIS YOUR FIRST ANGELVERSARY IN HEAVEN.   YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY ALL OF OUR ANGELS AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND FREE. MAY YOUR BRIGHT LIGHT SHINE DOWN UPON YOUR FAMILY.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 68.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • ericasmom

    9217

  • Mermaid Tears

    3803

  • daveydow1

    3002

  • shorty16

    2248

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Members

[align=center]Stephanie,Stephanie Stephanie, [/align]

saying your name out loud today.................

[align=center]Hold your Mama close and let her know you are always around. [/align]

[align=center] [/align]

[align=center]HUGS    Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever [/align]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

stopped in to check on Curtis- so glad he will be ok.

I made a longer post but it went to lala land I guess and I don't feel like retyping.

Love the ring and the picture of the little one so cute.

Got a letter from lawyer today got to go sign papers so insurance can settle. I have mixed feeling- glad its finally almost over and then again it makes it feel so finaL  Richie is gone.

Once they settle will have to sign stuff to get money in trust for kids

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Lisa K. is so beautiful - so happy you shared...

Lorrie - looks like Brinley is very happy lounging on / with the "twins" :D

Suzannah - what beautiful, wonderful news about Curtis Jr. and you keeping your sense of humor through such a scare. You simply amaze me girl...

Not good news about my mom - the doctor's and staff have decided that she will be placed in a nursing home, she needs 24 hour care. They observed my dad with her and he is not able to do what needs to be done for her.  My sister is meeting with the doctor, staff and my dad on Wednesday to inform dad what they have decided and I know what his reaction will be.  I am not sure I understand the whole process but from what my sister says is that if my dad refuses to let her go to the nursing home then they are not obligated to give her any care in-home.....they are very insistant that she cannot go home so please everyone say a prayer that my dad will see that the doctors are right and let my mother have the best care that she needs and deserves.  

Tavian went to the new camp today and it was amazing - he was so happy as they did so much so it was worth the money we had to pay....he is worth it..

I seem to be at a loss again for words to post....I feel as though I have nothing to say that will make anyone feel better or smile or whatever....I do not know what is wrong as I cannot stay away from here, I have to come here every night, it is my strength, my family - I just do not know so I will just come and be......

Love, peace and strength, Kathy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Susannah:  so glad to hear that Curtis was not as injured as originally thought...prayers that he will heal and quickly and well.  Thinking of you today as your heart counts out the days since your beautiful girl left this earth...holding you close in thought.

Bonnie:  I love, love, love the ring and the saying...Jason saw you coming and directed you to it, for sure!  How beautiful!

Kathy: I am so sorry that your dad is having to deal with all of this, and so sorry that your mom is going through this...I pray she will find a peaceful rest home and the staff will take care of her...mostly I pray that your dad is able to accept this as what is best for her and see this as a positive thing for her own good, and likely his as well.  I am so glad that Tavian is having such fun at camp...especially after his two weeks or so of having to go to work with his other grandmother...I know you are happy to see his smiles.  Kathy, please don't worry if you feel that you "don't have anything to post"...believe me, you do...we love to hear about your days, your wonderful Tavian, Barry, your family---and your troubles, as well, that is why we are all here, to share--- the good, the bad, and the ugly, if need be.  No one else understands how each event in our lives impacts us now...so differently than before, and sometimes coming here and telling about it even helps us to understand our own issues, also, just by "talking" about it with each other.  I think many of us are "drawn to" this site every day, and sometimes we post and sometimes we just say hello to let everyone know we are here...

When I was at the dietician's today with Ralph, and she was trying to explain the complicated mess that is now his diet, I just kept getting more and more confused, until she finally showed me a very simple three-day menu, that just listed what and how much for that particular meal, I was so relieved...finally, something I understood and could process.   I finally told her that since Mike died, I have a difficult time focusing, and when too much is thrown at me at once, it is just not processed very well.  What with all that's happened over the past few weeks, my processing is even worse than usual.  I apologized for my seeming lack of understanding, and she said that she did understand and she was very nice about it all...she gave me her number and told me I could call her any time during the day if I had any questions at all, and we would see each other again, for a few weeks, until I felt comfortable with it all.  She was just so sweet and helpful. 

Sherry:  So wonderful that you got a picture posted of your sweet and precious Lisa...she is just adorable...so pink and pretty.  Thanks for sharing.  So glad you got your grandies with you while the tomatoes were being canned...I only had two bushes and one was a grape tomato bush, so not many tomatoes, but what we've gotten so far have been quite good. 

Marcia:  So happy to see your precious Bethany's sweet smiling face again...I hope you and Larry are doing okay...busy at the clinic?  Any trips lately?

Lorri:  brave of you to use your twins as a pillow for that precious bundle...so very sorry to hear about the family in your town...prayers for their peace of mind, though it may be a while before it returns to them. 

Lynn...good to see your sweet Kayla's smile also...

Sonya:  Have a wonderful day at the beach with Mattie...Kim and I were planning on trying to catch a few hours at the beach, but it didn't work out...maybe next time...so run your toes through the sand once for me and once for her! :cool:

To all:  I thank God for all of you...so very sorry that any of us have to be here, but I do believe, and am so thankful, that our angels have led us to each other.  This has been said many times on this site by many of us.  Sometimes we just want to post a line that says "we are here, we are managing," and other times we need to write about some stuff, and other times we can write/post about others' posts...either is fine, either is part of all of us, and who we are.

I wish a good night of good sleep to all of you.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
westleysmom

Lorri-What a sweet baby!  Hope the twins are none the worse for wear.  You don't want to have to replace them again anytime soon. 

Sherry-Love the picture of Lisa.  She looks so precious.

Carol-Glad to hear that figuring out Ralph's diet is doable.  Sometimes everything overwhelms me.  Still trying to get back doing Weight Watchers and they have books and everything, but its still hard.  Give Ralph a big hug for me. 

Kathy-I'm glad Tav is having such a blast.  And I'm sorry your Mom/Dad situation is so difficult.  I hope they are able to reason with him and get your Mom the care she needs.  Sometimes the only things I can think of to say here are dark and depressing, and I feel bad that I'm not being all uplifting and perky.  But I try not to think like that, because I didn't come here to make you all feel better, I came here to make me feel better, as selfish as that sounds.  And you need to come here so YOU can feel better, even if its just a little bit for a little while.  Hearing about your lives and feeling like I have friends that are just like me, struggling through everyday life while dealing with the loss of our beloved child or children, even.  I feel drawn here too sometimes, and I'm sure it comes and goes depending on what's going on in our lives.  Hugs to you.

Bonnie-I got the banner today in the mail.  Thank you so much.  I'm not sure how you get a picture printed on cloth, do you just take a picture to Walgreen's or WalMart or something?  I'm sorry I have no creative bones in my body. 

Susannah-I hope you and all of your family are sleeping like babies.  You all need some good rest.  Your angel Stephanie is watching over you all.

I guess that last goes for all of us.  Sleep well with your angels watching over all of you,

Rhonda Westley's Mom 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
josephsmom90

I just wanted to say hello to everyone before I went to bed. I want to thank you all for listening to my rants too. Today was a much better day.. One day at a time! Again I am still and always be in prayer for you ALL. I am so glad little Curtis is doing well! Prayerfully he will continue. I am also praying my son comes home on te 24th. I so need him HOME!

I am investigating three different places to relocate too. Texas, Ft. Collins Co, and Tri-Citis WA, and in that order. Just a huge bunch of research to complete and how I will go visit them all?? Maybe at Christmas, Michael is supoosed to go to Cancun with his dad and an aunt so I will be alone, what better time to do that or so I think..... God bless you all.

Elaine

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Indigos

I have been MIA for a couple days and missed many posts.

SOOOO glad Curtis is doing good.  Prayers work.

It is Hotter than Hot here.  The dew point is the same as the temperature.  That means almost 100% humidity and it is not raining - figure that out.

Stephanie - saying your name, praying that you put your wings around your momma.

Love to you all.  Post more later.

Colleen

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
heartbeataway

Rhonda,

Go to Walmart or a craft store and explore some iron on options. You just have to read the directions carefully or like me you’ll end up ruining some of your paper.  You can print out the pictures and iron them on to the flag.

There were flags with things clued and covered in laminated material.  Your imagination is all you need!  

I STILL HAVE BLANK FLAGS FOR ANYONE INTERESTED.  JUST ASK, I WILL SEND YOU ONE.  THESE ARE BANNERS YOU DECORATE TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF YOUR CHILD.  WE KEEP THEM TOGETHER AND THEY’RE PURPOSE IS TO FLY HIGH TOGETHER AT  EVENTS SO THAT OUR CHILDREN ARE REMEMBERED AND REPRESENTED.  VERY, VERY COOL!  

Carol,

Glad the dietitian helped  you “process”.  I agree that it’s hard at times and stressful events such as yours just makes it worst!  Ralph is in good loving hands, Yours!!

I’m thankful for you too!  <3!

Kathy,

Prayers for the changes and the need for acceptance in your folks life.  Glad that Tavian is enjoying camp.  

krichie,

After losing numerous posts and getting so frustrated I could have thrown my computer across the room ...... someone posted this simple yet effective tip.

It usually happens when you’re going to add a picture or something.  So, before you hit sent, copy your post.  That way if something happens, you can just paste it in a new window.  Saved my computers life!! ;-)

Lisa K is such a pretty baby.  I can imagine what a pretty lady she would be!  Thanks for sharing her picture!

Elaine,

When you’re deciding, Texas is HOT!  But, I enjoyed living there.  It took a while for me to stop missing the seasons but I met some wonderful folks and it was an extremely affordable place to live too.  Good luck with your decision.

Susannah,

Little Curtis ...... so, so glad he’s healing!  Bless his little heart!

Lorri,

Brinley’s little face makes me smile just looking at her.  I’m so glad you have her in your life!  That says a lot about you and your heart!  

Well, guys, I need to get this day going. I feel perpetually behind and I’m tired of being behind!  

Love for the journey,

Bonnie, Jason’s Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

Good morning, Indigo's!

Again, thank you all so much for the prayers for Little Curtis!  They arrived home last night.  He is one tough little fellow!  It's his left side, not his right, as I previously reported.  Just the tips of his little fingers can be seen and the blisters are huge.  Why they didn't pop them, I don't know.  They did the rest.  His body was protected by the life jacket he was wearing, thank God! 

Yes.  Thank God!

Yesterday was going to be a day of remembering, releasing balloons and grieving the one that was taken.  Instead it became a day of celebration and thanksgiving for the one that was saved!

I still feel Stephanie's closeness....her joy, strength and peace.  Awww, peace.  Such a wonderful word!

Betsy, I love the roses with the little red birds.  Did you remember that Stephanie sent birds?  Thank you!

Dan, again, the fact that you do so much for so many walking this path is touching!  You and your wife are truly ambassaders of compassion!

Dee, as always, you say just the right things!  How do you do it?

Each of you........all of you.....mean so much to me!!

Yes.  I'm not sure how long this will last; whether it's permanent or just a passing phase of gratitude...but, today, my heart feels that "sweet sorrow" we've spoken of before.

The waiter had just placed my steak dinner in front of me when my son called me.  There were 12 of us sitting around the tables.   My exclamation, "Oh no!"  paralyzed everyone at the table.  "We'll leave immediately."  I tell my son.  "We'll be there around 5 or 6 in the morning."

I asked for a "to go" box for my food.  There was no way of eating, now.  I stepped outside to smoke and call Colleen and asked her to allert you all that we needed prayer.  You were my first phone call.  My first thought. 

After scurrying to get packed, check out of the hotel, give hugs, gas up and find a map that would lead us through the Iowa farm country so we could get on I-80 instead of 90, we were on our way.  "****!"  was all that could escape my lips!  "****.  ****.  ****!" 

And then we saw where we were headed.  Complete blackness.  I had never seen anything like it before.  The sky was blue above us.  There was a blanket of pure white clouds......and, then black.

Gary insisted we keep driving.  His faith stronger than mine at the moment.  The rain and wind hit us so hard I though we would tip over in our mini van....

Trying not to scare the children, we spoke of how awesome and powerful God's world is.  We kept driving.   Watching the lightning strike all around us.

"Stephanie....this is not how we intended to spend this day.....well, hell....we didn't intend to spend a year ago as we did, either!  If you have any power at all, we could sure use your help."

And, she answered........."You're asking the wrong person, Mom."  And, I knew instantly what she meant.

"God,"  I prayed "Please guide us and protect us as we travel through this storm to get to our grandbaby."

It was one of those moments that is hard to articulate.  Instant peace.  Instant security.  "Trust me"  was the answer.

The same answer we received when I demanded answers for Stephanie's death. 

I knew we were safe.  I can't explain how I knew...but, I knew.   I spent the rest of the drive through the storm marveling at the sheer power of it.  

As I said, I don't know how long this will last...it may be fleeting.  But, today, as I have been on other days, I am convinced we are loved and there is a God in control.  This life is so very short.....in the scheme of things, but this life is where we are supposed to be.  Learning, growing, loving.  Now, what and whom I believe that God to be is personal.  My views don't flow with any relious doctrine.  I mean no offense to anyone.  But, that's my opinion. 

As for little Curtis, he won't let anyone look at his hand.  He seems to be ignoring it, but aware it is there.  He hasn't tried to remove any of the bandages.  He doesn't complain about the discomfort.  He did give me a "What the hell!?"  look when I accidently sat on it...his hand.  I didn't know he had placed his hand in the path of my rear end as I descended to the stool by his dad. 

I yelled, "Oh my God!  I just sat on his hand!"  He looked at me like I was an idiot...I hugged him and said, "I'm sorry, Baby!"  His mom and dad kept assuring me he was okay, as he scurried to climb the chair by the table. 

Little Kaylee (2) and Brayden (3) were running through the house with Jonathon (6).  They had all played a game of tug of war with the blankets.  Laughing and dog piling onto Jonathon.  Brayden screamed in delight when Jonathon rose with Brayden on his back....Jonathon becoming the older, bigger cousin in a second.

Mariah and Jasmine were just interested in Little Curtis.  They wanted to mother him, and Little Curtis would have none of it. 

My son talked about the experience....and, Cindy, my daughter in law, marvelled at the strength of her infant son.

Gary talked about the bike rack he and Jonathon are building today.  I just marvelled at it all.......with Stephanie in the back of my mind....."I'm still alive, Mom.  I'm still here."

I smiled in acknowledgment.  Knowing I don't know.  Knowing I'm supposed to be here at this moment living this life.

Susannah/ grateful to be Stephanie's mother!  Proud to be her mother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

JUST WOKE UP FROM BAD DREAM LAND...I DREAMED I WAS HOLDING HER AND SHE WAS LITTLE.....AND THEN I TOLD THE PERSON HOW MUCH I MISSED HER AND I WONDER DID I PUT ENOUGH CLOTHES ON HER IN HER GRAVE....:(

I FNNNN HATE WAKING UP TO CRAP LIKE THAT....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Lorri-So sorry for the bad dream.  That bothered me back in the winter, I know it sounds crazy, but I wished that we had put a blanket on him.  Are you feeling better other than that?  I hope so.

Susannah-I'm sorry your steak dinner was "to-go" but am so glad he was wearing the life jacket.  You're in my thoughts and your whole family, too.

We went to see neighbors whose 45 year old daughter died a couple of weeks ago.  We didn't hear in time to go to the service and I felt terrible.  So we took a pie over there and stayed a little while to talk.  They are heartbroken, she had surgery a few weeks ago (the daughter) and went to bed with a stomach ache and didn't wake up the next morning.  Her husband was in the bed asleep with her and woke up and she had died during the night.  It doesn't matter how old or young somebody is, as long as their Mama is alive, they're still somebody's baby. 

Thanks Bonnie, I'll try to work on that so I can get it to you for Pinnacle Days.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Indigos

Yesterday, a friend from our former life in Utah called, Justine.  She did not know Brian had died.  We had to tell her.  She cried the whole time on the phone.

I really do not like ruining someones week like that.  We were best friends when we lived in Utah.  I tried to call her concerning Brian's death, but could not reach her.

2 years later, she calls out of the blue. 

Talking to someone who was from our former life is very difficult.  We have a new life now, and I really do not like it.  I want my old life back.

I performed an audit today at another Plant of ours.  The Manager of that plant also lost a son.  21 years old from cancer.  We talked for a long time.  It has been 4 years in September since Evan died.  I am 2 years.

I feel drained.  Tired, and sad.  The old life I had does not seem to fit into my new life.  I am just so drained today.  Bedtime cannot come soon enough.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

MSNHER = I just marvelled at it all.......with Stephanie in the back of my mind....."I'm still alive, Mom.  I'm still here."

I smiled in acknowledgment.  Knowing I don't know.  Knowing I'm supposed to be here at this moment living this life.

I feel this way too more so lately, I feel him and know we are on the path we are suppose to be on, maybe not one I dreamed and wanted or even planned. I am suppose to be here at this moment.

 

Got bad news at work today a women I work with  lost her 10 mos grandson Sunday from accidnetle drowning in the bathtub.  I can not comprehend the loses we all face and hear about, I never thaught I could live thru Richies death but here I am . I don't know what I do is called living but I am carrying on and functioning as best I can, dreading October, but hearing that a new mother is suffering a fresh lost is very hard. I hate to see someone else in our shoes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Krichie – I’m glad to hear you are feeling Richie more now.  That’s great news.

Colleen:  Sorry you had to tell Justine about your Brian so very sad.  You are so right when you said we have a new life now.  I’m glad you talked to the person at the plant about your sons.  I know you gave them comfort!

Rhonda – Westley’s Mom – You are so right no matter what age our children are they are still out babies.  Glad you were able to go and visit this mom and dad to give them comfort.

Lorri – Sorry for the bad dream.  Brintley is beautiful!

Susannah – Your words could not be better spoken, you are a wonderful person, and I’m so glad little Curtis is getting along so well.  I pray for a speedy recovery.

Carol – I know too well about getting confused over things but I’m so glad you found someone to take the time and can answer all of your questions.  I hope you can make it to the beach soon.  I will play in the water for you and Kim!  I hope I find lots of seashells to put in Danielle bowl.

Kathy – I’m so glad to hear that Tavian is having fun at camp.  Sorry to hear about your mother.  I pray that your Dad will see the best for your Mom!

Sherry – The picture of Lisa is beautiful. 

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Summergirl  -I find myself coming to site everyday if not to post just to read. I am sorry I find comfort here. Just knowing I am not alone and seeing that people do go one with everyday things even when it is hard helps me to push on and try to get stuff done too.

I do not know what to post to make others feels better or smile, but I don't think I am looking for that. Just knowing my feelings and my lost are effecting me like others and I am not looney is enough. I do smile reading some of these post about children going off to camp, races being won and lost, the adventure of moving and just the peace some of you find thru out your day helps cheer me up sometimes brings back warm memories of Richie.

I have plans for next year - I know I cant start anything yet

gonna check on stain glass workshop

going to attempt a veggie garden

going to take better care of myself

going to spoil my grnad daughter

going to remember and love Richie always

He will look down and say "Thats My Mom !" and be proud of me as I was of him

We go to the Kidney specialist with Shavelle Thursday so on pins and needles till then

Prayers to you all, May a warm breeze kiss your cheek today

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Kathy---Sorry to hear about your mom, and the difficulties about going to a

nursing home. Your dad could be fearful, and just wants it to be like it was

before. I pray that when the drs. talk to him, that he will feel better about

your mom going to the nursing home where she will be cared for. Thanks for

your kind words about Lisa's pic. I was lucky to be able to post it......most of

the time I run into trouble trying to post pics. :X Peace, friend.

Lorri---Sweet little Brinley. Darling baby.

Carol---I'm glad that my daughter and I canned the tomatoes yesterday....it's

hotter here today. No a/c  here, so it's good not to be doing that today. Grape

or cherry tomatoes are very good....I like them. Thanks for the kind words about

Lisa's pic. I have very few pics of her.  Hope Ralph is doing well.

Marcia---So nice to see Bethany's smile. Hope all is well......busy summer, huh?

Krichie----Sorry to hear of the sweet little angel boy who drowned in the bathtub.

Prayers for his family.

Rhonda----What a sad story about your neighbor's death. I'm sure that your visit

was a comfort to them. Thanks for the kind words about Lisa's pic.

Elaine---Good luck with your reasearch of the cities you are considering moving to.

I think that you are smart to do the research ahead of time, to find out all you

can about what you need to know....the opportunities, and which one looks the

most promising for employment, and other considerations.

Colleen----Oh, I so know what you mean about wanting your 'old life' back.....with

Brain home and all. My husband went golfing today with his brother-in-law, and

he said he hardly heard a word that his brother-in-law was saying about his son,

He so misses golfing with Davey,.....it was their great summer pastime.

Susannah-----So good to hear that little Curtis Jr. is improving. Bless his heart.

Bonnie, and Sonya------Thanks so much for your kind words about Lisa's pic. I'm

glad that I finally was able to get one posted.

          PEACE & TRANQUILITY TO ALL HERE IN THE BI FAMILY.

                      Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HI Gang,

able to send a message finally, forgot my login and am using husbands laptop whch is moving very slowly. My goodness.

My happy and joyful thoughts to you Sus at Curtis JR> being hurt but okay;. THANK HEAVEN and all of th e ANGELS. I can see you laughing at the timing, as though someone or something made to shed the light on who is here rather than who is not. STEPHANIE is most certainly near you and the kids.

Lorr, sounds a lot like my guilty dream.

Krichi, sadness with the neighbor drowning. So many drownings in and around Chicagoland lately, and shootings damnit.

Col, I know Kid, the old life however, has left th ebuilding. Our souls are the hallways however and remember the times well.

Having some good relaxing times, love to all,

dee

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello, lots of thoughts and happenings this past week at BI.

 

Sherry, Lisa looks so pretty and so very happy. Its a lovely picture.

 

Sonya, so good to see you and Danielle .

 

Kathy, a difficult road your dad is now walking. I've been there with my mom. may I suggest that you or your brother contact Area on Aging ( if that's what its called in your mothers county) and local senior centers for assistance. There are options.

 

Betty, still rather humid here. Blah

 

hope you all have a peaceful evening.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello my fellow indigos:  So, so glad to hear about Curtis, Jr....Sus...you know Stephanie was watching!  So many prayers of thanks!

Colleen:  yes, our old life left the building, and that is sad, so very sad, but I really like what Dee said, too...our souls are the hallways, and are filled with wonderful, blessed memories...

Kim has now "left the building," and I miss her so much already.  I will post more on it later, but for now, I just want to say, that we reconnected in so many good, good ways...we used to be very close, but lost that closeness over the past 5-6 years, strangely.  It is sad that Ralph had to lose a kidney to bring this about, but this renewed relationship is a blessing...a true blessing. 

Ralph's nephew sent us this link earlier today...it really is amazing what feelings this little girl evokes in your heart as you listen to her sing---

Go to www.vimeo.com/12348372 Then just sit

back and be amazed!!!

I wish everyone a peace-filled, happy-heart type of evening...

sending love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sherry,

I cannot view any pics that were posted while on this lap top, don't know why so I will look at LITTLE LISA ANGEL when we get home and Lor, I will see the baby asleep on the twins then too.

Kath, normal enough to feel exhaustion from all that is happening. Take a deep breath, know that Mom has to age and this happens to be her path now, Dad will find some way to cope but it is going to be a struggle for him. Any way that he can move in with her and rent their home? Don't worry about not having a lot to say right now, with so much going on, you need to follow those instincts.

Carol, I am so glad tha tyou and Kim have gotten close again, and no matter why the distance, the road back has been paved by the needs of her Daddy and YOu. Blessings come in all sorts of packages.

Today John (husband) and drove up the Traverse Peninsula, so beautiful, as the road winds around first water seen on the left off the hills, then the road curves and the lake is on the right with beach front homes and rolling hills laden with  vineyards on the peninsula and therefore wineries. We did not sample any, both of us are light-weights. We drove to the end of the peninsula parking to walk where I stood with Eri and Jon and Mike so many times and so long ago. I got teary, I have not been back to this area since the divorce Mike and I went through in 1994. I love this spot as the sandbar extends for a long long time, with huge boulders that jut up, large enough to sit on. I remember ERi feeling this a magical place long ago. Me too, still. so it has been a full and wonderful day, tomorrow we will drive about 20 miles north west to Leland Michigan, a place filled with fond memories as well. It is fun to show John the places that I love, as he has shown me his old haunts.

Peace and beauty,

dee

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Carol - Oh my gosh - I was "amazed" by that little girl child singing Amazing Grace - I have added it to my favorites - it took my breath away and filled my heart with love. Thank you for sharing...

Lorri - I am sorry you had such a dream - it really sucks big time !!!!

Thank you everyone for your comments on my mom - talked to my sister today and I guess she got confused by all the different doctors and nurses talking...She sat down with mom's main doctor today and he said that mom does not have to go to a nursing home but she does have to be in an "assissted living" home which is so much better as her and dad can live there together...their own place but with a nurse on call at all times, etc.    My dad seems to be coming around a bit about the situation so hopefully with a bit more time he will do what is best for both of them.

As far as "not being able to help anyone here by posting" - you are all right - we are all here to talk about what we need to whether we are helping ourselves or each other so I appriciate all the kind words to get that through my head....

I too find that my old life is diffacult to return to - there are so many things that have changed since losing our Jessica - different friends (some remained faithful), a whole new life, a grandchild to raise as his mommy would want, our whole out look on life and what is important and what is not - This is "life after Jessica" - the life we had with her is a whole other life never to have again.  I find that I do not sweat the small stuff anymore, I do not care if the dishes are in the sink, the house not dusted or vacummed, laundry needs to be done - I would rather be outside spending time with Tavian, going fishing, to the beach, camping or just hanging out....the other stuff will always be there to do but the time I spend with Tavian now I can never re-do again....one day at a time is how I do all things now and take nothing for granted.  

Tavian got the mail today and there was one item - a brochure from a college addressed to Ms. Jessica Bennett !!!  He looked at me and said - "mi-mi, this is for my mommy, don't they know she lives in Heaven now??"  I explained to him that it came from a place far away and those people do not know about his mommy in Heaven - He then said "that makes me sad" !!  As much as I did not want to hear him say that I was glad that he did - he admitted that he was sad and that is a good thing - did not have to get the punching bag out !!!  

It is hotter than hot here too - should be used to it by now as it has been in the 80's and 90's most of the summer with high humidity....just want to sit at the beach all day !!!

I love you all, peace and strength, Kathy 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
josephsmom90

Summergirlsmom,

Beautiful, just beautiful!! BRings back memories of 4th grade twins grabbing the poles after school, walking to the pond on Spring Creek, and fishing in Wyoming!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

Sherry - Love the picture of Lisa!  Thank you so much for putting a face to your precious angel in heaven!  She and Davey always remain in my thoughts.

Carol - I'm sure you miss Kim...:(  I, too, love the video.  I see that Gary Chapman was the guitarist.  Brings to mind Steven Chapman; now, there's a story!  Their son ran over their little girl, killing her.  Their talk of faith proved to be more than just talk as they walked through their grief...the loss of their daughter and helping their son heal.......helping each other heal.  As we do here on this board.

Kathy - I'm so glad your mom and dad will be able to be together in assisted living.  This is such a difficult time of transition for them and equally difficult for you and your sisters.  The changing seasons of life....another bittersweet emotion.  You always are in my thoughts and prayers, too!!!

Lynn - I'm holding you close to my heart as Kayla's angel day fast approaches. 

Dee - How wonderful that you and your husband were able to visit a place that holds such fond memories for you.  It sounds beautiful!

Betsy, Rhonda, Krichie, Elaine, Betty, Marcia, Bonnie, Dan, Greg, Jenn, Sonya, Colleen, Lorri (and the twins) , Claudia, Trudi, Leah, Beth, the staff at Indigo, and, all Indigo's.....sending love and light full of gratitude for each of you!

For those who think you don't bring much to the table, you're wrong.  As sorry as I am that the experience of losing a child has become part of your journey, I am so glad to have you walk beside me.  From the words of experienced to the brand new member......each of you....all of you....mean more to me than I am able to articulate.

Strength for the journey......Susannah/Stephanie's mom and God's daughter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

Oh----Lorri, you realize that when you meet any of us face to face it won't be your face that we look at first.....I know I'll be checking out the twins!  :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am in need my friends. JaBoa's mom has been calling me the last 3 days.  I think she is finally ready to leave her boyfriend.  She is tired of being beat and misses her mama.  Please pray that she calls me tomorrow for me to go get her and her children.  She hinted he will be gone and I will make my move.. I need strength.  I know there is a good chance with all of this I could get beaten up by the jerk.. but it is well worth it..  I am so afraid.. afraid that she won't leave him... because if she doesn't.. she has enlightened me with to much that I will need the strength then to get hold of certain people to force some help...  please just prayers... I really need them.. I don't feel to strong these days

Thank you in advance...  I am so thankful for you all

Leah/JaBoa's grandma

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Leah-I haven't been much good at praying lately, but I'll try for you.  Please be careful. 

Rhonda Westley's Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
josephsmom90

Leah,

I will pray right now! I worked with domestic violence such as you describe. My name is Elaine, and if you need any information on leaving etc, don't hesitate to contact me! You can email me on here if you like. GO get a no contact/restraining order while or after you have her out of there! Don't put that off! And also make sure if she works, her employer/employees are aware of the order! If there is school to be concerened with for children, that can be worked out too! Go through the restraining order process and see if there is a (domestic violence victims advocate) she/you can talk too as well. If he's threatened you, you get one too! Do the same with your employer etc! Prayers going up and don't hesitate to contact me! If there are ever any written threats such as email, notes and so on,, keep them, also log any phone calls and so on. Cover yourself is what I am saying.

Elaine

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dear Leah 

Prayers are on the way.  I have put your family on my prayer chain.   I am so glad that your daughter has called and asked for help  Please be careful!!!  If things become violent please call the police. 

Sherry lovely picture of little Lisa I love seeing all the picture of our angels

Betsy  and Dan your creatuve remembrance  for Stephenie was really  beautiful

Susannah  I am so glad that little Curtis is home and recovering  He is very brave little guy as is Grandma!!!

Carol and Ralph  warm thought sn prayrs are always sent your way

Sonya  and Dee hope yu are enjoyig the wonder of your special vacation time

Colleen I too miss my old life.  I do visi it often and have many happy rememberings:?

Lorrie hope you are recovering

Stay well Indigos

Betty Stephen'smom:)

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am sorry i have not visted very much lately we have been going through alot this past year found out alot of things about our sons death one being it could have been prevented if the hospital we took him to woudl have done the right thing. It all has just been giving me so much pain i feel like i am reliving it all over again even though i want to know what really happened. most of all i just wanted to come here and thank everyone for remembering my EJ on his angel date i really appreciate it alot thank you all very much.

post-30061-128153899764_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

I ask that you, your daughter and her children be protected in the white light of Christ.  That you be surrounded by God's angels and that your thoughts and direction be made clear.  I pray that you be buoyed up for the task at hand and that God remove worry from your mind, instead replacing it with assuredness.  I pray that all the pieces be put in the right place so that Leah and her daughter move with efficiency and effectiveness.  I thank you, God, for reuniting Leah and her daughter.  Please strengthen their bond with love and forgiveness.  Thank you, too, for showing your grace, mercey and strength!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

I don't know you, EJ's mom, but I send you hugs.  Knowing the truth doesn't make it much easier, does it.  In fact, in your case it makes it more difficult.  However, as you said, as bad as it hurts we have to know, don't we?  For me, in the end, being able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together didn't help much.  There was still a piece missing; my daughter. 

Your EJ is a very handsome young man!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sus, do you need directions?

[user=39355]msnher[/user] wrote:

I don't think this is the right site.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

The world has gone mad.  Tornados here in Victoria Australia....never seen here with such force.  Tonight there are weather warnings for galeforce winds and rain so I will batten down my hatches and crawl under the doona with one Muttley dog.

Before I do.....Lyn, I know its Thursday here tomorrow, Kalya's day....thinking of you.  Rainbow balloon with K.A.Y.L.A. will be launched regardless of the weather,

Marcia ... Bethany's day soon, you are in my thoughts.....

Trudi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Trudi

I agree, the weather has gone mad.  Rain, Rain and more Rain here in WI.  My yard is a rain forest (Dee, did your garden survive the flood)?

The mosquito's are the size of Robins and it is so humid, I feel like I am waking in a mist tent.  WOW

Other parts of the country are dry - very dry - I am sending a prayer for rain.

INDIGO's

I have decided not to contact my friend for a while.  She called Sunday night, after 7-8 years of not hearing from here.  I called her and wrote her during those 7-6 years- with no responce.  She called and had no idea about Brian.  I was consoling someone else over the death of my own son.  It was very hard.  Brought me back to those first 8-9 months where pain and sorrow ruled my life.  I cannot go back there.

She was such a good friend.  Perhaps after my mind, body and soul settle-down a little, we may begin again.  But not now.

Hard decision, but energy is a precious commodity for me now

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

FYI...It appears that they now actually have the http://www.grieving.com/ site live. I was on there and logged in today. Only thing is one you click on say "loss of an adult child" you have to click on "last" in order to see the most recent post. All postings from this site are in there.

I sent them a message about this. But, they do have a "chat" button once logged in you can use and it appears that it works but I was the only one in there and no way to tell if it "really" works or not.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
heartbeataway

[align=center]Kayla ........

[/align]Kayla ........

[align=right]Kayla ...........[/align]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 Good morning Indigos! I have tried several times to post but I cant keep the thoughts straight in my head to type what I want/need to say.  Guess its my turn to come here for the support I know I can count on. The gut wrenching tears have started earlier in the week. Today marking the 24 month mark since I last heard Kayla's voice. Oh what I wouldnt give to hear it again. Even if I have to tell her to slow down while talking so I could understand her lol. She always had a knack for talking fast and dramatically.

I am able to use some ( 3 ) vacation days to get myself pulled together. Sure hope it works.

Not much rain here either. We have had some loud thunder and a huge lightening show the pass 2 nights. Maybe our Angels are having a gathering of sorts.

Sus, I sure wish I had your and Dee's way with words. You all inspire me.

Kathy, where oh where are the curls on that handsome boy? He still looks as handsome as ever tho.

Leah, so glad you decided to come back to your friends here on BI. Best of luck and please be careful.

I could go on and on but I am working on a project to take to Kayla tomorrow. Sorry for leaving other Indigo's out, it really isnt personal.  Do know that I am following you all on the journey.

Love and hugs,

Lynn aka: the Mom with one of the best angels in heaven-KAYLA

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 Has anybody checked out the new site?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

LYNN, may this day and the following days somehow be filled with the love of Kayla more than the loss. She flutters all around you now, knowing that you are aching and wishing she could help that. We ache, we sob, we are torn up, and allowing that opens up the new airways, the new ways to live. Oh how I wish you didn't have this pain.

Leah, please be careful. Would it be wise if you called the local police in your daughter's area and ask for protection, unofficially?

Please know that you have the strength as shown over these past years, it is in you, just be careful please.

Dawnray, prayers for you as you find the facts of EJ's death, it must be difficult and I am praying for you.

Trud, climb under the what? be careful.

dee

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Trudi-Batten down the hatches and stay safe.  It's so hot here you can barely breathe, but we're not getting storms at least.  Although we could use the rain.

Colleen-You have to do what is best for you.  I don't like this new life either very much, not nearly as much as my old life.  But its the one we've got to live and we have to do the best we know how. 

Lynn-Thinking of you and hoping you are getting some peace and rest.  I know the peace might be harder than the rest, but something is better than nothing.  I haven't even made it to the one year mark, it seems impossible that we would ever go that long without hearing our child's voice or seeing their beautiful faces, doesn't it?  Just know that you're not alone. 

Okay, so I'm confused.  They moved all the posts from here over to the new site, but we can still use this one?  Is everybody going to switch to posting on the new one, or will new posts on here also be over there?  I thought they were just going to change from one to the other, so there would never be more than one, but you all know I'm technologically challenged. 

Rhonda Westley's Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dee-I looked it up and a doona is a quilt, at least that's what I found. 

Dawnray-I forgot to tell you how sorry I am that it is so difficult to finally find out more details about your son's death.  When I got the report from the ME's office, I was hysterical.  The only thing that could have made it easier to take was a note on there that the body had been mis-identified and wasn't really my son at all, just a look-alike who was pretending to be him.  That he was really on vacation in Mexico, or even running from the law.  Anything other than what he was, gone.  Your EJ was so handsome.  Hugs to you.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

testing.1.....2............3....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello Indigos.

This new site is pretty cool. I will have to take my computer home and play tonite.

Lynn, tomorrow is the 2 year mark since you hear your sweet girls voice. We are here for you. We feel your pain. May the love a Kayla surround you today and alway. Hope she gives you butterfly kisses.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

ok this is SUCKIN..................

THIS IS ME NOT LIKING THIS SITE RIGHT NOW... :angry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Well, I just kind of jumped on to say hello and a VERY late good morning...oops, now I see it's already afternoon...didn't sleep much lasst night, had completely WEIRD dreams that kept waking me up...hubby got up and saw me still sleeping, so he let me sleep...unitl 11:30!!!! I don't think I've done that since I was a teenager!

So, now I am trying to find my way around this site...at first I couldn't get to it and I was in a panic, but here I am. Glad to see others here, too...I guess it just switches automatically...

Colleen: I agree, you have to do what is best for you right now, and perhaps this friendship is not ready to be renewed. I had a very close friend for over 20 years, and a few years before Mike was diagnosed, for some weird reason, she decided to just stop our friendship...no explanation, nothing. It hurt like hell. We were like sisters---TWENTY years. I wrote her a letter and asked her to at least tell me why...we had always said that a good friendship survived, just as ours had for many years, because we were honest with each other, really loved each other, etc. But, she never would go into it...she just said that she didn't want to talk about it. Have run in to her since (she even came to Mike's blessing of the sick), came to his services, even came to visit him that last week...acted like nothing had ever happened, like we were old friends again, etc. In my kitchen, she looked around and said "It's like I was just here yesterday (it had been EIGHT freaking years!!!) and I couldn't help it, I just blurted it out "It doesn't feel that way to me." It took me over three years to get over not having her and her family in our lives...three years of just pain...til I finally realized the one being hurt the most was me and it was time to move on. Anyway, that's neither here nor there...what I wanted to say to you was just that sometimes it's better to just let it go and not worry about it...consider it something good that happened when it was good for it to happen, and now it's not---just, please, don't feel bad about it. You need to take care of YOU.

Well, one thing I've discovered about this site is taht you can still see the previous posts when you are replying...cool...no more lost posts trying to remember, look back, etc. YAY!!!

KAYLA....KAYLA....KAYLA...surround your beautiful mom with your sweet spirit...help her to remember those wonderful moments with you and help fill her heart with only love today... Lynn---I am so sorry that your are feeling such pain and sorrow right now...the two-year mark is tough...I think we imagine things will not be so bad, and then they are worse, and it just breaks us down, again...holding you close, sweetie...sending strength.

Leah: Prayers for you, sweet lady, as you go through this---please keep safe...as others have suggested, restraining orders, etc...I know they take time, etc., but please just keep safe. I pray that all works out and goes well...holding you close in thought as you face this.

Dawnray: I am sorry that all this pain is renewing itself in your heart...as others have said, dealing with all those reports, etc., must keep your heart in such pain...please know you are in my prayers for peaceful moments to find you.

Trudi: climb under whatever you have to, just stay SAFE!!! We love you, dear lady...just stay safe!

Kathy: I am glad to hear that things are sounding a little better for your mom and dad...it is just great that she will be in a place where your dad can be with her...praying that he will be accepting of this and that things will be okay for both of them.

Dee: so glad to read of your precious time with John...as usual, your description brought each of us along to enjoy it as well...I know that Eri was right there with both of you, enjoying the renewal of sweet memories of days gone by...a truly rejuvenating trip, it sounds like...your students will be blessed even more than usual, after you return.

got to go and get dressed...or maybe I will just stay in my pj's...

love and peace to all my beautiful indigo family...carol mikesmomrs

now I am going to hit "send" and see how this turns out!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrators

What is your struggle with the site? We can help you get comfy in your new home...

Kelly

ok this is SUCKIN..................

THIS IS ME NOT LIKING THIS SITE RIGHT NOW... :angry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

:) HI INDIGOS

JUST TESTING THE NEW SITE IT APPEARS I CAN ACCESS THE BOARD. STEPHEN'S PICTURE IS NOT SHOWING I SEE ALL THE OTHERS SO I WILL SEND A QUESTION TO KELLY

LYNN I TOO REMEMBER THE LAST DAY I HEARD STEPHEN'S VOICE. HOPE YOU HAVE WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF YOUR SPECIAL ANGEL ON THIS DAY

KAYLA KAYLA KAYLA

LEAH DO TAKE CARE TOAY WAITING TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE SAFE

CAROL SO VERY GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO SLEEP SO LONG SO SORRY ABOUT TH DREAMS PLEASE TAKE CARE!!

SHERRY LOVE YOUR LITTLE ANGEL LISA'S PICTURE. NOT SURE IF I RESPONMDED TO THAT AND THE TOMATO CANNING. GREAT EFFORTS FOR THE SUMMER :D

DEE AND SONYA HOPE YOU ARE RELAXING AND ENJOYING THE DAYS

TRUDI I AGREE THE CHANGE IN WEATHER PATTERNS IS ALARMING HOPE MUTLEY HAS BEEN BEHAVING!! :rolleyes:

BETSY I KNOW THE MOVE IS GETING CLOSE i PRAY FOR PEACE AND REMEMBER YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT MOVE!!

HAVE TO RUN TO THE DENTIST AGAIN I BIT DOWN OAND BROKE MY BRIDGE A WEEK AGO IT IS NOW REAY AT THE COST OF 1,200. oH WELL NOT GOING TO WORRY

GOING TO TRY TO MAKE AN ATTACHMENT AND SEE IF i CAN :unsure:

HAVE A BLESSED DAY ALL

BETTY STEPHEN'SMOM

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.