Loss of an Adult Child

[lostwoher]

I'm a bears fan but randy is really trying to convert me to be a Vikings fan. Go bears!

Such a beautiful painting. Working this wknd but hope everybody has a good one.

Lynn

[summergirl]

Hello to all, a quick post tonight as Tavian has his best friend Damien over for a sleep over play date and have to be "available" to then at all times!! They have the tent set up in the middle of the living room, all their "supplies" inside, blankets and pillows. So cute, I will take some pics of them to post.  They have not seen each other all summer so they are both a bit excited. They played outside all afternoon, riding bikes, on the trampoline, playing games - so good for my heart to see both of them so happy. Tavian without his mommy and Damien without his daddy - his daddy is a huge deadbeat and it has been hard on him since his mom finally kicked him out a year or so ago. His mom is Ashley, Jessica's best friend and we talk often. Anyway, to see them both happy, like brothers sure makes me feel good.

Lorrie - love the pics - Kourtney Rose - amazing and awesome. You look absolutely beautiful, love the tat!!

Tanner is so handsome, I totally understand the proud mom, we certainly had the most wonderful children and we should be proud.

Trudi - yes Tavian is going to be a girl magnet but they will have mi-mi to contend with!!!    You are going to one skinny woman with all these workouts lady!! You are beautiful just the way you are but it is the "it makes me feel good" that is why we do it, inspiration from our child, peace for our hearts and mind.

Dee - I believe !!!  I remember 9-11 am, I was working and the tv in my bosses office was on and he called us in to show us that a plane had crashed into the one of the twin towers, we thought it was an accident and then when the second one hit we knew - it was so heartbreaking, I could hardly believe it. Our boss let us go home. The day before my husband and I were in the city and had lunch next to the twin towers!!!!  We had went in with another couple to go to an Emril cooking show, we felt so blessed we were there the day before but my heart still breaks when I remember all of those people and what they must have gone through and how their families still go through it.

Ok this was going to be a short post and the boys are talking popcorn so I bettter go. Love and peace to all tonight and every night. Kathy  

 

[nicksdad]

I would appreciate if you all would light a candle for my Nephew. His 2nd Angel date is tommorow. Just click the pic and you will go to his site. Thank you....

NicksDad

 

[mpsmom]

Dee, the painting of Eri is beautiful, so glad that Jon will have it up where he can enjoy it everyday..... the young man who drew is quite the artist.....

Dan, I will positively sign on in the morning and light a candle for your nephew.!!!

we are celebrating Tylers Birthday with him tonight, gotta run and wrap his present and get ready for going out for BBQ ribs, his favorite.... then back home for cake & ice cream, presents, balloons, and lots of hugs.

Hugs to all, Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

[Kelly]

Hello!

Could you take a moment out of your days and elect Beyond Indigo for the spotlight program for American Express? You have to register but then you can vote for us. We need 50 nominations by tomorrow night Midnight!! If we win then we receive 100,000 dollars which I want to put towards a site administrator for this website. Can you please help and pass the word to the others?

Just go to http://shinealight.ivillage.com/, click nominees and type in Beyond Indigo and our name will pop up. The direct link to the page is here at

http://shinealight.ivillage.com/nominees/?PerPage=10&Order=&x=0&y=0&Search=Beyond+Indigo.

Let's shoot for 50 plus nominees by tomorrow night! Thank you for your help.

Kelly Baltzell

Founder

Beyond Indigo

[tanmanmymagicman]

will do dan; nicksdad; thanks again for letting me show of my loves of my life forever.......Losing a child really takes you away for who you used to be.....???????  I will go light the candle...hope everyone is doing something fun this weekend.....I would love to take a cruise.....

I live in Hanford, California; in the central valley; below fresno;

[mikesmomrs]

Terrie:  My heart is with you as you journey over yet another hurdle---your "rant" (which wasn't a "rant," but the words from your broken heart) was well understood by all here...   I hope that your hubby has his pay straightened out soon!

Dee:  I loved your words that you spoke to our angels on Friday morning...and I cried over your story of that morning 8 years ago...I truly believe that you somehow were tuned  in to what was happening.   It was a sad day in this country for everyone...I am so glad that you were there to comfort your kids at school.   I do love the picture done by Jon's friend and it truly looks like Eri...I am so glad you were able to get it back.   I don't follow football and thus am not devoted to any team, so I am heartily wish you all luck with your Bears game...I hope Jon and his company have a good time, also!

Lorri:  I've told so many people about your "Kortnie Rose"  sign---sights that fill our hearts...

Bonnie:  No new ears yet...just a confirmation that I do need them...now to find the funds!

Kathy:  So glad to hear again of your adventures and time spent with Tavian...I hope he has lots of fun with his friend tonight...

Cathi and I went to the baseball game last night...sat in the rain (we had ponchos on) for 1 1/2 hours, then went downstairs into the covered area for another 1 1/2 hours, and then they finally called the game...it was just pouring rain, with no letup in sight!  We will go again on Sunday night, which is when they are playing the make up for it.  But, we had fun driving down and home again...we get to talk a lot during those drives (abt 1 1/2 hours each way), as she is so busy during the week, etc., especially now with Jamie back in school and homework, etc.  I did mean to share something with you all, that I forgot about...Cathi got a promotion at work and she truly loves her new job!  She worked for the Air Force Medical Recruiting office for 18 years, and then they announced they were going to move to Massachusetts and she just couldn't do that...too, too much of a commute.  She luckily got a job at the Navy Yard, which is close to where she used to work. But it was a really sucky job...no challenge, no interaction, nadda.  She gets so easily bored at that type of job, and she was growing more and more restless.  Well, a few weeks ago, she applied for another job at the Yard, and got it.  She's been there now for two weeks, and she just loves it!   She said she doesn't have a minute to even think during the day, and she is in heaven...plus, of course, it was a promotion...so she is psyched, just psyched.  I am glad to see her so happy, she deserves it.   Sorry to go on about it, but just wanted to share her joy....

love and peace to all

Carol  mikesmomrs

 

 

[summergirl]

Dan - lit a candle in memory - thank you for sharing the sight and allowing us to help others as they help us.

Kelly - voted for Beyond Indigo !!!

[homeschoolmom]

Was trying to post some pics but think I'm challenged as well. The pump broke in a little village about 2 miles away, so no water in the main line now for about a week and a half.  Hopefully soon, it will be fixed, as we are getting low on our reserve.

Finally had the kitchen cupboards installed, except the carpenter told me he hadn't put in the shelves, cause he didn't want me using the cupboards until he had returned in a week to attach the doors etc.  So no countertop, no shelves, doors or drawers in my kitchen. Ah, this is the life! Not.

Have a friend interested in a lease to own on our home in Fl. At least this will help, though she has 4 teens and 1 preteen, 4 of them boys, so... I just have to tell myself, it'll no longer be my house.

Thinking of you all, and praying for peace and sweet rest tonight.

Goodnight all,

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

 

[ericasmom]

Carol, you cheer everyone with your baseball stories, it is you carrying the torch forward into the years. Mike is grinning as you drive back adn forth to the games with Cathi.

I think that knowing your daughter is happy with her new job is also nothing but uplifting, so don't apologize, I love hearing great stories. Have fun tomorrow night at the game, may it be clear and lovely out.

Thanks for the well wishing for Jonathan. He is my Dolly.

The painting is a treasure, and when Danny painted it, he hadn't set out for it to look like Erica, only his idea of a goddess. There she is.

Kathy, so glad that Tav and his Bud are camping out in the living room, I sure do love the sound in your words when he is home.

Dan, lit a candle for AARON. Thanks for inviting us into the life and times of your sister and her Son.

Love to all,

dee

[mikesmum]

Dan - The candle is lit and Aarons story is fresh in my mind. Pls let your sister know all here are thinking of her handsome boy.

Marcia - Enjoy the ribs!  It good to see Tyler is still apart of your life.

Dee - I love the artwork that is so Eri.  Glad Jon has made that transition in his home.  May you find a quiet peace this weekend to re charge before returning to your challenging charges.

Carol - Love that you get to go to 2 games!  I know what you mean about spending time with your daughter.  Melissa and I have been spending more time together planning the engagement party.  She too has been offered a promotion to Team Leader at work, overseeing other nurses on her shift.  She never sought the job, they persued her..

Kathy - wouldn't say I will be 'svelte' but the bricks that have been clogging my brain are loosening and that's weight I can do without.

Its the last week before school holidays here.  The next two weekends we will be overrun by grandbabies and I am so ready...need to see the movie "UP" and of course the grandbabies are my reason for going....

Hope all have a restful and peaceful weekend.....Trudi

Oh yeah - don't for get to click the link and vote for BI.  The prize is funding for an administrator for this site......

[briansdad]

this is coming up soon.

 

[mamabets]

For briansdad~ Hard to believe... What an AMAZING celebration, always~ I love you and am sending big, huge hugs your way!!

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere 

[mamabets]

For ALL~ Am here, still, plugging right along~ Have been out of town quite a bit, connecting with some old, dear friends~ Trip planned to Florida to see my family mid October, then will drive to see Jackie and the kids for Halloween, Danny's 31st birthday~ xoxoxox

Battling cervical radiculopathy- UGH- Had a HORRENDOUS episode with it back in May, flare ups from time to time- In the throws of one now, so must just rest in- I have herniated discs, and evidentally the discs sit on nerves... No insurance, so I just ride it out...

"A test... This is only a test"

Much Love to ALL~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[nicksdad]

Briansdad...that looks like a great event to attend I wish I were closer.

NicksDad

[nicksdad]

My stone guy delivered my Corner Markers today. Real nice looking. They are black

marble. 6x6 and 3 inches deep, real solid. All we wanted is "H" lasered into them. But, he can laser an entire name or even a picture. I will hopefully get them put in next week.

If you are interested they are here:

http://www.americanwoodandstone.com/showroom/agora.cgi?cart_id=9514755.1550&product=Granite%20Markers&user4=Corner%20Markers&xm=on

NicksDad

[mpsmom]

Greg, what a wonderful way to honor your Brian.  Sounds like so much fun, he is no doubt so very proud of you and your wife for organizing such an exciting event in his name.  Brian Brian Brian..............YEAH!!

Hugs, Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

[mpsmom]

Dan I love the black marble cornerstones.... We have no gravesite to decorate, when I see all that some of you do -- I sometimes wonder if we should have a spot at the cemetary as well, the city tells me I can still buy a plot even if I keep Bethanys ashes here at home with us. ..maybe next year.  Keeping your sister and her family in my prayers today on Aaron's two year angelversary.

Hugs, Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever

[ericasmom]

Brian, five years is a long time, I know the meaning of those numbers, and I am so glad that you continue to have the memorial event in BRIAN'S name. Long may you run sweet Boy.

Dan, beautiful cornerstones, love them. Prayers for your nephew, Aaron, may his Momma feel his love and peace today and each. I know that Aaron is hanging with his beautiful cousin, Nick. Smile on us Boys.

Betts, glad that you are still plugging away as you say, but sad that you are not feeling well and that insurance keeps you from a cure. I wish I could help. You rest, and then when you are feeling better, continue on your path. I will send many prayers for healing.

Loving you,

dee

[lolynbo]

LOVE THE MARKER BRIANS DAD...LOVEN IT

MARCIA...I NO YOUR HIDDIN OUT CUZ THE ANGELVERSARY IS UPON U...BUT AS U KNOW U WILL SURVIVE IT LIKE I DID  AND OTHERS B4 US..(I HATE THSI KEYBOARD)

U WILL GET SIGNS FROM BEAUTIFUL BETHANY MAYBE NOT THAT DAY..BUT U WILL....SHE WILLL ALWAYS BE OUR BABY GIRL AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HER MOMMY...(I GOT SIGNS ALL WEEK OF KOURTNEYS ANGELVERSARY...)

JUST KNOW WE ARE HERE FOR YOU AND YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON...MAYBE YOUR HERE TO KEEP SOME OF US GOING???? BETHANY WOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOU IN ALL YOU HAVE DONE AND WHAT YOU ARE WORKING ON..

[mpsmom]

 

 

[summergirl]

Betts - Hope you are feeling better soon, sucks not having insurance, so many people out there who do not. I first took my job almost 15 years ago because the insurance is incredible - money not so great - but if I had to pay for the insurance we have then I would be making a fortune.  Take care of yourself and know that we think of you.

Greg - Cannot believe it is 5 years and a zillion tears later. I am so proud of you and yours for keeping Brian going here on this earth - he is so proud of you as you are of him - sure wish I could go one day.

Dan - the markers are great, I am going to check out the website - thanks so much.

Trudi - how right you are - not so much about the pounds off the body as the weight off the mind - whatever it takes to help us survive.  Defintely go see "Up" - I heard it was great and enjoy those kids!!!

Dee - thanks, the boys had a great time until this morning then it was picking at each other for no reason. Then I checked Tavian as he really was not acting himself and he was running a slight fever so I sent Damien home and put him in his chair to rest. Brings back such memories of Jessica - she would go, go and go and then suddenly run a slight fever and spend the whole day doing nothing - I believe Tavian is the same way - he just goes till his little body has had enough. He was up Friday night untill 11, got up at 5:30 a.m. and went with my friend Linda's son Charlie who took him to Montauk point and they hunted for mussels - he got home at 8 a.m. with 5 star fish, half of a dead lobster (yikes) 3 crabs and a bunch of fish hooks - he was smiling like crazy, then Damien stayed over and they went to sleep around 11 so by today he had defintely had enough.  Right now he is watching the new Scooby Doo movie and trying hard to stay awake.  Yes - I am so much better when he is home, life seems somewhat "normal" when he is with us. 

Marcia - thinking of you.

Lorrie - did you say Kourtney's color was orange?? Sorry if that sounds crazy but it has been on my mind!!!

Did alot of outside work today so will say goodnight to all. Peaceful dreams and restful sleep to all. Kathy

[lolynbo]

YES MAM..SHE LOVED OSU ORANGE..NOT NESS  THE TEAM BUT THE COLOR..THATS SO FUNNY ITS ON YOUR MIND...

JUST UPLOADED 218 PICS OF CRUZ ON MYSPACE...AND GT 2 COMMENTS.."HEY WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR SUNGLASSES THEY ARE AWESOME.."  NO MENTION OF THE BEAUTIFUL BEACHES OR US BEING SILLY...LOL

I SO HATE KODYS KEYBOARD, ITS ONE OF THOSE SOFT ONES AND ITS SO OOOO HARD TO TYPE ON...SO LZ BARE WITH ME

IT HAS RAIND FOR 3 DAYS SO WE DIDNT RACE YEST...OUR LAST RAC IS SAT..THERE IS A RACE GROUP HERE IN ARDMORE THAT MAY BE INTERESTED IN KODY...THEY HVE A CRAFTMAN TRUCK AND RACE ASHALT...HE IS SUER EXCEITED...IT MAY NOT GO ANYWHERE BUT JUST TO BE THROWIN HIS NAME AROUND IS NEAT..MY CUZI IS THE TIRE MANAGER FOR THE TEAM..SO WHEN THEY RACE IN TEXAS WE AE SUPPOSE TO GO AND HAVE PIT PASSES..

WELL HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.LOVE TO ALL

[ericasmom]

Funny Lorri, that you were complimented on your glasses and nothing else was asked. You are a strikingly young looking Mom, so pretty. I noticed that and your cute glasses. Did your Sister go with you guys on the cruise? What fun.

Lynn, how is the family with the loss of dear Dustin? How are you? I am thinking of you and the family, my prayers for you all. Sweet Boy, nobody deserved that.

Bears are playing now, against Green Bay, Colleen's team. Your team started out better that is for dang sure. Boy we look like a high school team right now. Oh well, I do like football season. JOn has his friends over, John and I stopped in and hung out for a time, but came home in time for kick off, need the quiet before returning to school tomorrow, still need to do more planning and resting up. Wish me luck.

love to all,

dee

[lolynbo]

YES SHE WENT IN KIMBERLYS PLACE BECAUSE SHE HAD JUST STARTED A NEW JOB...SO SHE COULDNT GO...WE DID HAVE A GOD TIME...Y DOES IT MAKE U FEEL SO GUILTY WHEN  DO ENJOY YOURSELF?KNOWING OUR CHILDREN ARE DEAD..GONE...THE NOT KNOWING...

THE GLASSES WERE SOME ED HARDYS KIMBERLY GOT ME, PRETTY NEAT GLASSES..BUT SURELY DOESNT COMPARE TO GODS BEAUTIFUL OCEANS AND COLORS...

THANK YOU DEE... I WILL BE 46 THURSDAY...AND MONTY WILL BE STUCK WITH ME 18YRS SEPT 27TH...

[ericasmom]

YOu are a Baby, I am 8 years older than you. Monty isn't stuck, unless you crazy glued him to the family...sounds like you are both in it for the long haul. Good for you both. Give that fellow a hug from me. I am glad that you had fun, feeling a bit guilty is normal in this new world, eventually you will not feel guilty, as Kourt would not want there to be guilt associated with laughter. Living your life fully is what she wants.

So sleep well and live well,

dee

[mikesmum]

http://apps.facebook.com/age-calculator/?actionlnk=f_calc&ref=nf

Just try this and then sit down with a cold compress and strong drink.........I did.

[lostwoher]

Good early morning everyone. I havent had much time this weekend to read or post due to my work and trying to get some quiet time with Randy. Today we will send Dustin off to get his wings. Please say a prayer for him and his family. I was told I could leave for 1 & 1/2 hours and then return to work today so I could attend but going to plead to be able to leave and not return. Some just dont get the fact that there is life outside of work ya know. Going to this today is going to be difficult and I really dont think I should be expected to return. The investigation is being very hush hush so hopefully that can only mean good things.

Going in extra early to get things done as soon as possible.

Love and hugs.

Lynn                     Kayla, Im sure you are ready with open wings to accept Dustin.

                            Take care and enjoy his company.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[nicksdad]

I'd just like to thank everyone for the candles for my nephew. My sister called me and told me how much it meant to see all the people that lit and still remember.

Thanks much!

[daniellemom]

Hi everyone, I’ve had some computer problems at home with it being so slow so just dropping in and saying hello.

Dee – the painting of Eri is so beautiful and the painter knew that she is a goddess. You asked a while back why Mattie was bored at school. I have talked to her several times trying to figure this out. We had a focus meeting at school to tell us what to expect at school this year. Mattie is being reviewed now from last year. They are focusing on reading the first hour of school each day. Mattie reads on a high level and is bored with the review. But thanks for asking me to make sure I’m not letting anything slip by me with a problem. Oh, how I wished the best teacher could teach her, Ms. Dee!

Lynn - So sorry to hear about Dustin, but glad to hear that the investigation is well under way.

Terrie – Glad to see that beautiful Red Head on my screen, Adam. I hope your husband’s paycheck gets corrected quickly.

Kathy – Glad that Tavian is back home and school is going well for him. Sometimes they just play to hard. I still say you will not have to worry about the girls because Mattie is going to marry him. She is 7 also.

Dan – Love the H. Do you think your guy could do a signature?

Greg – Love the fundraiser for Brian. He is so very proud of you and his Mom.

Carol – It’s so nice to hear about the games. Every time I see a Red Sox ‘s anything I think of Mike, that and the red bugs. Also very excited for your daughter and her promotion.

Lorrie – Glad you are back from your trip and that you received signs from your Kourtney.

Trudi – I’m so proud of all that you are doing for your health. Because of our insurance at work is going up $100.00 every two weeks if I don’t stop smoking. So I’m going to try my best to stop and then join a gym.

Marcia – My thoughts are with you this week. May Bethany be very close to you this week.

Mamabets – I hope you feel better soon.

Shelly – Good luck with posting pictures, I still can’t do it. Glad to hear that your house may be leased. That’s great! I hope your water is back up and running very soon.

Colleen – How are things going for you? Are you kids back in school?

Bonnie – The pavilion sounds great and so glad to hear that they are going to work with you on this project and also allow Jay’s name in the memorial!!

Cindy – The picture of Tanner is great with his sister.

So the post is so long that will teach me not to wait a week or two to post to my family

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

[mikesmum]

Lynn - Hope Kayla is there with the "group" to welcome Dustin. People also don't get the being at the funeral after losing your own child might just unsettle you. 

Sonya - Thanks, while I'm not sure how it looks on the outside, but I have been feeling better inside!  The health insurance here isn't attached to our jobs, but the government is taking away the 30% subsidy given to encourage people to take out private health insurance.  For us that will be hard, my income is insignificant since 07.

I wish you well giving up, it is hard, almost as hard as giving up CHOCOLATE!

Dan - I think we all want to know our kids are not forgotten.  Pls let your sister know Aaron is in great company.

Sunshine here today, -1 celcius.  Jack Frost just letting us know he isn't far despite summer being on the way..

Trudi

[nicksdad]

[user=19062]daniellemom[/user] wrote:

Dan – Love the H. Do you think your guy could do a signature?

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

Ya I know he can. Just let him know what you are interested in and he can do it up and send you a proof so you see how it looks beforehand.

[summergirl]

Dan - as was said we all want our child to be remembered but it makes me feel good when someone I do not know has the heart to remember my Jessica so I shall remember all those who are mentioned because we may not know each other but our Angels sure do.

Lorrie - ah to be 46 again!! Will be 53 October 24 and married for 36 years October 7 - that is more than half my life!!! I was just 2 weeks from 17 when Barry and I married, everyone thought we were crazy or of course the old "she must be pregnant" but suprised all by just being in love!!! We have had our ups and downs, struggles but nothing compared to when we lost Jessica - the biggest test of all I believe in a marriage. The first time Barry asked me out on a date I was terrified but knew when I looked at him that I was going to marry him and here we still are.  Thank you for reminding me that Kourtney's favorite color was orange - don't know why it has been on my mind but some things just can't be explained.  Yes, I remember feeling guilty every time I smiled or had a bit of fun but have now come to understand as our sweet Dee says - our Angels do not want us to not live, it keeps them happy and us moving forward slowley but surely.  Love the glasses and you are a beauty!!!

Sonya - so glad you have dear Mattie to marry Tavian so now I do not have to worry about him picking the wrong girl!!  When he does get married what does that make me??? Mi-MI in - law??  Nope can't even go there!!!

Lynn, yes those work people sure do not understand there is a whole other world out there besides "the job" -  I pray that you get to leave and not go back - it is to stressful to deal with the service, how do you possibly go back and concentrate on your job!! Thinking of you and your family.

Trudi - you are too funny!!

Rode my bike to the school today and picked up Tavian - rode for a while and then home for dinner. Was fun and felt good to ride.  He rides his bike to school each day that it is nice, I follow him although he says he is old enough - will never be old enough in my eyes.

Got an e-mail from Valinda, she lost her son Matt. She said she will be back here at BI but needed a little time as it was depressing her reading of all the children that have been lost. I told her I understood and we will all be here waiting for her when she is ready to come back. I am trying to keep in touch with her through e-mails.

Time for my reading - I am reading the "Twilight" series and am on the 3rd book, I am enjoying it very much, better than I thought it would be.

Much love and friendship - Kathy

[lolynbo]

I STILL WANT THE WEBSITE FOR KOURTNEY I STILL NEED TO SEND YU MY $$$$JUST GIVE ME TIME...

WENT TO COUNCELING TONIGHT....WOW THAT WAS PHYSICALLY DRAINING....JUST WHEN U THINK U HAVE IT BAD....A YOUNG GUY JOINED WITH HIS MOTHER TONIGHT (JOINED AINT THE WORD) AND HE LOST HIS 2 YOUNG BABIES AND WIFE IN A FIRE.HE WASNT AT HOME WHEN FIRE HAPPENED...I DONT NO IF WE HELPED HIM OR NOT..I DONT NO IF ANY ONE CAN...I JUST HOPE HE FINDS WHAT HES LOOKING FOR..MY HEART ACHES FOR HIM AND HIS MOMMY...I HOPE THEY WILL BE BACK..

AS ALWAYS IM KEEPING IT SHORT TONIGHT..

BLESS AND BE BLESS LOVE TO ALL

KOURTNEY LYNNS MOMMA

[summergirl]

Hope you can see this - Tavian with his big fish he caught. I downloaded from facebook. The girl is going to download it to a cd for me so I can enlarge it and hang it in our home.

[mikesmomrs]

Kathy:  That is quite the picture and I can see why you want to hang it up...such a wonderful memory for him...so nice that you got to ride your bike with Tavian...I know that will be a memory he will hold onto for a long time... Please tell Valinda that we are thinking of her and wish her healing days. 

I know what you mean about the "thinking we were pregnant" because we got married in such a hurry...met my hubby on Feb 29, we married on April 26...45 years ago!  And Kim came along a year later...sorry to disappoint the "gossipers."  Like you, and I am sure all, we've also had our ups and down, stress and struggles, and of course, the loss of Mike was the the test of all time.  Probably about 15-20 years ago, someone asked me if I'd ever thought of divorce, and I said "No way, I've spent too many years breaking him in to just go and give him away!"

Sonya...so nice to hear from you, and know that all is okay, and of course, to see your pretty Danielle's smile...did you get all your canning done? 

Lorri:  I am so very sorry for the new participant in your group...it is so sad and painful to hear of such loss, but I am so glad that they have come forward for help in their healing...

Dee:  I hope that your little ones are continuing to make progress in their focusing efforts...you are such a good teacher to recognize it as a problem that needs to be addressed instead of just overlooking it and ignoring their needs. 

I know that you guys are likely sick of hearing about my "baseball escapades" but I just have to tell you about Cathi and I going on Sunday to the make-up game for the game that was delayed and then postponed on Friday due to the rain.  When we got there in the beautiful, bright, warm sunshine, for some straaaaannnnnge reason we drove up to a gate that we don't usually go to, and there were people standing outside that gate who were trying to sell their tickets for the second game...the Sox had moved our game to Sunday at noon, which made for a double header being played, and the early game originally scheduled for Sunday at 1:30 pm was moved to 5 pm, which meant that a lot of people planning on the original early game weren't going to be able to make that time change in their schedule and so were trying to sell their tix.  As we got out of the car, Cathi looked at me, I looked at her, and we instantly knew that we were each thinking the same thing...let's get tickets and go to the second game too!  (getting tix to a Red Sox game is usually a futile quest, so this was an unexpected terrific opportunity)  So, we did!!!!  A DOUBLE HEADER---AND WE WERE GOING TO BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!!!  Oh, my goodness, we had such a good time...after the first game, we had to come out and move the car, because our $30 parking fee was only good for one game, but we were really lucky (hmmmm...I wonder who was looking out for us??) and just as we pulled out of the parking lot, a car left a parking space on the street, and so we just pulled in and parked for the second game for FREE...no parking fees on the street on Sundays!!!!  ...and then when we got the new tickets, it turned out that they were for the very same section we were in for the first game...hmmmmm...  So, we had a wonderful time, screamed, laughed and jumped up and down when they did good, screamed and moaned when they missed a play, and sang "Sweet Caroline" not once, but twice in the same day!  (They play "Sweet Caroline" in the middle of the eighth inning, and pretty much all 38,790 or so people join in; it is quite something to see/hear and be there for.  Mike used to cringe over it, but he would do it anyway...and grin about it...AND, they won both games....how sweet is THAT!  Even sitting in those seats meant for a 15" butt and mine is...well...wider than that ...for 18 innings was just a joy   and we know that Mike was just right there with us...

Anyway, long post, but again, just had to share that great joy with my family here at BI...

love and peace,  Carol   mikesmomrs

[mikesmomrs]

Marcia:  My heart is with you this week, and sending strength to you and Larry to find your way through this difficult date...know that Bethany is right there with you, holding each of you close...loving you as she always did and still does...I know that she is so very proud of you in the ways that you have stepped out to help others and to keep her memory in the here and now...

Greg:  Thinking of you as you approach Brian's date, and his memorial activities...I know that he is so of his dad and mom for their reaching out to others in his name...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmum]

Marcia - I know you are going thru alot at present and Thursday is a date forever in your heart.  Thank you for sharing Bethany's DVD story in MN.   It really was a priviledge.  May the beautiful Bethany find away to 'shine' on you.....Trudi

Carol - oh yeah Mike working magic right across that day.....any news on the Lincoln?

Bonnie - hope all is going better for you and Rich.  I know you have more than your share of late, but maybe the sunshine will come through for you both.

Kathy - Handsome, cute and what a fisherman!  Love hearing about your 'grandboy'.

Val - if you happen to be reading, think of you often.  I know how being here and reading about so many young people gone to soon can add bricks to an already overloaded heart....take your time, if you need we are here..

Just spoke with Steven's partner. Zak (8) has pneumonia and will be assessed for admission to hospital tomorrow.......Once upon a time, I would take this news in my stride, knowing pneumonia is treatable and all he needs are meds and rest.  That was then - now my heart stops and I struggle to breath.  This is the part of the 'new normal' I hate - I was once a rational thinker, panic was for the irrational.  "Breathe in Breathe out!"

 

[mikesmomrs]

Trudi, my friend, my heart also skipped a beat as I read your post about Zak...yes, what was our normal is no more...I will keep Zak in my prayers, and all of you as well, for strength and finding out soon that he is well and on his way to jumping about again as a happy, healthy 8 year old should be doing...meantime, I know once he's over the initial fever, etc., he will love the added attention for sure! 

Welllllllll....the Lincoln is still in the wings.....I didn't have any change left...lol!

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[heartbeataway]

Trudi,

Wishing Zak well ......

Marcia,

Bethany ....... I think of you and say her name.  I don't know what else to do. Love you!

[ericasmom]

Trudi,

Prayers and healing for Zach. Please Lord, smile on this little boy and help him heal quickly and completely.

Carol, not even close to being sick or tired of your baseball stories, I love them, and who wouldn't? Your Son/Sun is definitely shining his light for you adn Cathi, and what a treat for you both. Oh what a treat for MIKE>I am so happy that you went for it. ANd no matter the butt size, the heart is wayyyyy bigger than that.

Marcia, please wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze just firm enough to know that I am holding you. We are all holding you, but the reason your feet are still hitting the ground one after the other is because of Bethany. You still have more to do here, and doing it in her honor, standing where she no longer can, makes Bethany a very happy angel. God Bless as you get closer to that date, a sad date. Are you planning anything for her actual date? Holding you Sweetie, the way you hold so many.

TAvian, what a catch, oh adn the fish is nice too.

[franklyval]

To Mikesmum, Thank you for the kind words. It really does help, even though we don't know each other, to know someone else is thinking of and remembering Matt does my heart good. I'm so afraid of having joy in my life for fear of feeling like I'm not remembering Matt. I have my older son and 5 grandchildren to think about but that fear of Matt's life being forgotten haunts me. He is with me every waking breathe...thanks for thinking of him. He had such a wonderful sense of humor and a contagious laugh that I belive in my heart he's looking down on me and in his way saying, come on Mom...that's enough...get on with life...it shall take some time yet.. Valinda, Matt's mom.

[franklyval]

Kathy, What a wonderful picture of Tavian...the sport fisherman of the future! Thanks for listening. Jessica is in my thoughts and prayers. Talk to you soon. Valinda

[ericasmom]

Valinda, probably all of us had that same reaction, being afraid to laugh and play again, afraid to take joy in life in any way because we were afraid it meant that we were forgetting and as you will find, we never forget, we learn just how to live in the light of our Dear Ones, just as they would want/ you are right, Matt is probably saying, come on Momma, it is okay to smile at the sound of a bird, it is good to laugh at a joke, or have a dinner with friends, it is fine to go to the movies and enjoy it, it has nothing to do with forgetting but instead, has to do with living. We stand and live our lives for ourselves and for our Baby. My girl, Erica, would be 25, but was killed when she was 19, and she would kick me in the butt if she thought that I would not see the funny in life anymore, she would also feel badly to think that I had this time here and let it go...take some time doing what you used to enjoy, you may or may not still enjoy it...find something that gives you small amounts of sunshine, and later, you can increase the time doing a pleasurable thing. If you are able, spend time with those grandbabies and your Son. There inside them, is some of Matt too. What joy I have when I recognize a trait that is Erica, in one of her cousins or the cousin's kids.

Be kind to yourself, there is nothing easy about any of it at this point, but one day, it will get smoother. Promise.

Dee

[zachysmom]

It has been a rough almost 24 hours. My husbands masonic lodge has asked him to leave and ripped him apart in doing so. He was doing ok till they did this. Now the anxiety and flashbacks are hitting him hard again. And to top it off he has court tommorrow.

Then today my daughter comes home with a letter from the school superintendent saying they had a bomb threat. Of course I am furious to hear about it this way. And it set my mind circling till I about broke down. She is my last child and I can't have any more I don't want anything to happen to her. The school is fairly small and has the elementary, middle, and high school in one building. The threat was written on the wall of the high school girls bathroom. But I am terrified about sending her to school tommorrow. Written threat today real thing tommorrow? I am afraid!

[daveydow1]

Mamabets------Oh, I hope you are feeling better soon. I'll keep you

in my prayers. Peace to you.

To Everyone-----I, too, have had some computer problems, so haven't

been on BI as much, but am here in spirit even if not posting.

Peace & tranquility to all at BI.

   Daveysmom,   Sherry

    

[daniellemom]

Carol – I love hearing about your baseball games, they are great and so glad that Cathi goes with you. Mike was sure there making sure you had no excuses not to stay for the double hitter!

Trudi – Sorry to hear about Zak, my prayers are with you and him. Praying for a speeding recovery on the pneumonia.

Kathy – Love the picture of Tavian and his big catch!

Valinda – Your Matt sounds great. Sometimes I feel like Danielle is telling me that’s enough get on with it. But to me I’m doing what I can and living my life where she can not. At first I faked laughed and smiled before long it was no longer faking. It took me practicing before I could do it right. She loved to laugh so I try very hard to laugh at something every day.

Zachy’s Mom- I can’t imagine how you felt about a bomb threat that would scare me also. Have you talked to the principal about why there would have been a bomb threat?

Danielle’s 23rd birthday is Sunday, this weekend we have a wedding where my husband’s brother is getting married to a girl named Danielle. I’m not looking forward to this at all. But I’m going and Timmy is going to be in the wedding. James is coming home for just a small balloon release at the grave. It will just be the 4 for us at the grave. Timmy is not up to opening the balloon release to all of our family. Maybe next year.

Marcia – Thinking about you each day this week.

Dee – Can you give me any help with Mattie being bored at school.

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

[zachysmom]

They don't know who wrote it they are "investigating". The town is filled with inbred redneck hillbillies. Could be just a prank but you never know. I say prank who ever did it up side their head with a brick. Or better yet take them in front of the school and bust their backside till they can't sit and then make them stand out front of the building holding a sign that says I like making bomb threats.

[mikesmum]

[user=35419]franklyval[/user] wrote:

To Mikesmum, Thank you for the kind words. It really does help, even though we don't know each other, to know someone else is thinking of and remembering Matt does my heart good. I'm so afraid of having joy in my life for fear of feeling like I'm not remembering Matt. I have my older son and 5 grandchildren to think about but that fear of Matt's life being forgotten haunts me. He is with me every waking breathe...thanks for thinking of him. He had such a wonderful sense of humor and a contagious laugh that I belive in my heart he's looking down on me and in his way saying, come on Mom...that's enough...get on with life...it shall take some time yet.. Valinda, Matt's mom.

Valinda - Oh yes to live, to smile, to be present in life when Mike wasn't I thought I could never do it, it would cause his memories to fade and I would have in my mind failed him (again). 

I thought about how debilitating Mikes last years were for him.  I  live each day now for him.  He loved his siblings and adored his nieces and nephews, I live for them.

And it will take time.  Its been 971 days, 22 hours, 29 minutes and 50 seconds since Thursday, 18 January 2007 since Mike left.  It has taken time, support and friends (here at BI) to bring me to the realisation that Mike won't be forgotten if I laugh, I'm not betraying him if I spend time with his siblings and his memories won't fade if live. In fact, sharing them makes them stronger - saying his name, wow that is so powerful.

[align=center]- Matt Matt Matt -[/align]

[align=left]Zachysmom - Sorry to hear about your husbands lodge removing him, with everything else it makes your loss just that much harder.   As for the bomb threats, I guess I think they should be charged as though it was a real and dealt with accordingly.[/align]

[align=left]Sonya - So many links to names, occassions that can break the heart all over again.  Hope Danielle shines down on you all on Sunday - balloons to her that day...[/align]

[align=left]Marcia - Being cross eyed as I am I was looking at Augusts dates - my sincere apologies.  Hope you are holding tight to Bethany as Sunday approaches.  How did dinner go?  Know you might not be up to posting but know as Dee says, we are all here holding you.[/align]Bonnie - thinking of you

[align=left]To all - Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts re Zak.  It really is hard to see such a ball of energy with such enthusiasm be still and pale. [/align]

[align=left]Bright sunshine day - MEERKATS MEERKATS MEERKATS as I walk Muttley thru the town to the park and the river! [/align]

[lostwoher]

Sonya, Im no teacher by any means but my son had that problem as well. Come to find out he was 'ahead' of his class. His work was always done well before time was up so was left just sitting. Eventually the school came up with a class for 'gifted students'. It was all going well until they expected too much from them. Dont recall exactly what all it was but once he decided it was too much for him to do anymore he bailed out and stayed with his regular class. The teacher gave him the opportunity to read anything of his choosing and write a book report about why he read it and what information he received. She also allowed him more interactions with other students to help guide them through different subjects they were having difficulty with. That helped him tremendously. Travis was more of a loner so whenever someone sought his help he felt better about himself. A win win situation. Sorry I dont remember your daughters age but maybe this will be of some help. Dee?

It was practically standing room only yesterday for the visitation/funeral. Dustin is loved and missed by so many. Im sure some were just nosey and attended because of publicity but Im glad so many came to pay their respects. I was able to leave work in plenty of time and not have to return to finish my shift. WHEW!  It was so packed that I never did see his father or stepmother. His mom was surrounded by others and as heartbroken as all of us know so I didnt get the chance to talk to her. I overheard a conversation from Dustins's fiance and son that broke my heart even more. She was comforting him and explaining over over that the people there were not there to hurt him or anyone. So so so sad. Zeke is a mirror image of his father. I am so hoping whoever did this will be caught and justice is served to help this boy regain some safety. I cant imagine what they must be going through even having a loss of my own. Its nowhere near over since the 2 of them weren't married and no legal documents on file for any insurance. The poor girl had to keep working during this ordeal as she didnt have enough time on the job to acquire time off. There are 2 benefits coming up to help with burial costs and a fund for Zeke so hopefully that should help. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Im spending my day off today pulling myself back together. What a dark hole to fall into once again.

This took up more room than I intended. Sorry. Take care

Lynn