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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Bonnie and Dee, stay in bed for the next few days until it is time to leave for Minneapolis, I will keep my fingers crossed that you will feel better by then. :)

Betsy, I also asked God (on  the drive to the hospital) to "please take care of my baby and protect her until I get there".  I guess he heard me---- by that time she had been dead for more than 2 hours and I was driving by myself to the hospital (25 minutes away) ---not knowing that, because of course they just say "you need to come right now"....    When I got there, there was a police officer stationed outside of the door of her room.   He was 'protecting' her.... guess that is the best God could do by the time I asked him to protect her.  My talks with God consist of asking him for the strength to live this life I have been given, to go on and find the 'new normal' . I too am tired of hearing people tell me 'how well I am doing" ... I am not, I hate this life and as much as I am trying to 'be better' if I dropped dead tommorrow I would be so happy, together with my baby again. But that is not my choice--- I believe we all have a start and end date on this earth , Bethany's has come and gone.... mine has not.

Marcia,  Bethanys' Mom Forever

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Bonnie, were those the last thoughts every night before you went to bed, or 'that' night.  I had a strange feeling for about 3 months before Bethany died, I felt as though something was horribly wrong with me (physically) but did not do anything about it.... It felt like something was dying inside me... now I know what it was.... Marcia

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For heartbeataway~ AIRBORNE, AIRBORNE, and more AIRBORNE!!!! It is miraculous, take 2 in water every 4 hours, tops, and miraculous results!!

I take it whenever I fly, which is certainly not often, but airplanes are the breeding grounds, as we know, for the cooties!!

So, maybe ask that dear hubby to go get it for you, OK?? xoxox

Much Love,

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere  

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Yes, well, each night I used to pray to help my children be strong in health, spirit, emotional well being, and in friendship. I asked that our home and the homes they are in be blessed by goodness and safety. Eri left, but I know that she was strong in all of those things, the safety part just wasn't to be. I too believe that there are start and end dates, and we just have to live our best until our dates come. I do feel we are strong, not trying to go against anyone, we are a different kind of strong that comes with adversity and learning to live anew. I don't feel our tears or sadness is weakness, but another layer of our being. I do hope to live a long life if I can be healthy and not a burden to Jonathan. I feel like there are many things I want to do here before leaving.

Lynn, I wrote the Kayla note in green but it came out grey, sorry, I chose green because I feel her energy, strong and young. Green.

Love,

dee

PS yes, sleep Bonnie, mine is allergies right now, I had the flu thingy a  week or so ago. THe  headache was the worst part, but managed with meds.

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For ALL that are flying to Minneapolis~

                                         AIRBORNE, AIRBORNE !!!!

                              xoxoxoxoox

                     Much Love~ mamabets and 

                              Danny, her little

                    wink from here, there and

                               EVERYWHERE

                                    ;););););)

                                

 

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For ericasmom~ I too, believe in the begin dates and the end dates.. YUP- Very strongly, and as weak as I know I am, I feel a strength like I have never known... A peace amongst all chaos...

No double edged sword, for they hurt... Just a ying yang, and I go with it most of the time. If I get in my own way, I get lost, so I just roll with it and help as many as I can.

I love you, Dee...How far are you from the "loop", and Glenview??

My sister "Eileen" has a son, Bill, with wife Aimee and baby Audrey, in Glenview and a daughter, Annie, with hubby Mike, and new baby Reagan in the loop!!

Below is little Audrey!!

She will be 2 in November~

Much Love,

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here , there and everywhere

post-12239-128153894168_thumb.jpg

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For ericasmom~ And... Baby Reagan!!! She was born on June 26th- xoxo

Much Love,

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

post-12239-128153894171_thumb.jpg

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Mambetts, those are the sweetest little angels... so precious... thank you for sharing. :)   Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever

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For mpsmom~ You are such an inspiration, Marcia~ You are helping me so much...

You clearly are grabbing life...Making a choice to LIVE, which is such a celebration for our dear Bethany~

My brother and sister-in-law live in Vegas- He has a huge eye care pratice.. Nevada Eye Care, I believe. They have 2 daughters- He is the "littlest" brother- I am one of 5...

My mother always said..."We can do anything as long as nothing happens to one of these kids..."

Then, it did~ I have an amazing family, and I feel for all of them. Paul, being the eye doctor, was the one who had to explain "occipital brain injury" (behind the eye) injury, Danny's, to our almost 80 year old mother, at the time.

Mom was here with me when his accident occured- Such a blur, as I DO remember crawling up the stairs to find her and my Jackie.. God awful~

The blur was safe. It remained for awhile, then reality hit...

Life as we know it now... We DO journey on, just like our angels...xoxox

Much Love,

mamabets and Danny, her little friend (LOL!!!- TYPO?? I think NOT) and wink from here, there and everywhere

 

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heartbeataway

Bets.

I also believe in Airborne and Emergen "C" - and have been taking the Airborne and using Zicam.

The throat is one thing but the headache is getting old. And then I was also feeling nauseous so I had some toast.  Rich told me a little bit ago that I look like I don't feel well.  I don't think that's good .... ;-)

I'll be okay, I still have until Thursday.

Marcia,

I always ask for protection as he was my last thought every night before falling asleep. But, I knew he was going camping and would be jeeping. I was asking for extra protection I guess.

The next morning, I woke and he was immediately in my mind.

Now that I've pieced together some sort of time line, it could have been when he was leaving ..... no one knows for sure. He was gone and from what was described of his coloring, etc.. it had been a little while.

I believe his energy woke me to say good-bye.  I just didn't realize at the time what was happening.

There's a lot going on in our life right now and I'll admit to not only feeling under the weather a bit but also overwhelmed with life in general. Having trouble keeping my energy level up.  It's always something and I'm tired of "somethings"!

Bonnie

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Real close to the loop, 20 minute train ride, and Glenview, about 40 minutes in car. I am here.

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cameronsmom1

Hello to all! Sorry I have not posted often. I have been going through so many emotions lately with the due date closing in on me. I want to be excited I really do but the truth is i'm scared to death. All I can think about lately is replays of me in labor with Brayden and finding out he was not alive. It is haunting me every minute of the day. I'm constantly thinking the worst when I don't feel good, or when the baby is not moving. I'm so scared that I can't even allow myself to have a baby shower. I feel like we are already planning as if this is going to end the same way, no baby to take home. It's not fair. I have been feeling guilt because i'm afraid that once the baby is born everyone will forget about Brayden. I know that I am not replacing Brayden but I can't help but to feel like he is hurt by me trying again. Will I be able to love this baby as much as I did Brayden or will I hold something against it because it is not Brayden? I'm just really scared right now and I don't know what to do to help myself. I only have 15-16 weeks left and don't have anything ready for a baby but mainly because I won't. I just can't imagine going through that again. I had everything for Brayden and the room was all set up and I had to go through that stuff and give it away which was really hard for me. I could just really use some encouragement and I know this is the best place to get it.

Amanda

www.myspace.com/dedicatedtoourangelbabies

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Bonnie------Sorry about your sore/scratchy throat. Maybe some camomile tea

or some other herbal tea would help?

Bets,Dee, and Betsy-----I know what you mean about praying to keep our

babies safe, and having them pass over anyways. Davey had a St.Christophers

Medal in his car when he was killed. I prayed, and wondered why God didn't save

him. After all, St Christopher is the patron saint of travelers. It's true, we all seem

to have that fear of "waiting for the other shoe to drop".  After Lisa died, we worried

about Dave all his life, and now he is gone .

Daveysmom, Sherry

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For ericasmom~ How cool if we could get together next time I am there?? Will let you know, FOR SURE!!

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

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Four or five years ago, before we knew of Mike's illness, I heard someone, in answer to the statement that "God doesn't always answer your prayers,"  say "Oh, yes, but he does...it's just that sometimes, the answer is "no."   At that particular stage of my life I was having some very difficult health problems of my own, confined to bed for almost three months---and when I heard that, it really struck me and stuck with me...and now, after Mike's illness and passing, sometimes I think that hearing it back then was preparing me for coming to the point where the biggest prayer I would ever in my life whisper would be answered with a "no"...that of praying for my son's recovery from brain cancer.  It has taken me a long while to come to grips with that, but I had to, if ever I was going to climb out of bed again, and try to live my life in honor of my son, in the way he had asked me to promise that I would...some days that meant brushing my teeth was the accomplishment of the day, and some days it meant just thinking about brushing my teeth was the accomplishment of the day...  I also believe as others here have said, that we have set dates for our lives, and while the means is not chosen, those dates are, and as Marcia said about Bethany, I say that Mike's has come and gone, and mine hasn't.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

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Amanda, sweetie, I am so very sorry that you are feeling this way, but under the circumstances, I can certainly understand why...the anxiety you feel, the guilt, the excitement and then the guilt for the exitement...I've never had to go through what you are going through, but I would imagine that all of the things you are feeling are perfectly normal for your situation right now...that being said, it doesn't make your feelings go away or feel any better.  Please know that we are all with you, sending strength, sending love, sending caring...I wish there were something I could do to ease your fears and anxiety, but the only thing I can do is understand and comfort...perhaps others have more words of wisdom...  I do think though, that it might help you if you were able to talk to someone such as a therapist specializing in this type of situation...I know it might be difficult to find one, but perhaps the doctor's office or the hospital could help with that....it is not likely good to hold all this in, and it might be better if you had someone to talk it out with and help you through it.  Please keep in touch, even if only a line or two...know that we care, that we are here for you. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

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Amanda, I am so sorry you are going thru this emotional roller coaster.... I also cannot imagine how you are feeling  but think that this is all normal, not something that you can change --- the feelings of being scared and also worrying about being too excited about the birth of this sweet baby Boy.  Braydon knows you are not having this baby to replaced him but to share the love that you and your husabnd have for each other.  My prayers will be with you while you 'wait' for the delivery day.... .please call the OBY/GYN office and see if there is someone you can talk to, maybe even another mother who has been through your exact circumstances.   All my love, Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

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Mike was released from Jail on 8-9-09 at 4am.  He was suppose to serve 5 months (until 9-27-09); still unsure why he got out early.

For some reason, I am very upset that Mike gets to start his life again when we never can.  The joys of the sun on your face, the birds singing and the full moons - all his.  We are left without our babies.

Scott and I have decided not to tell the kids Mike is out.  They would blow a gasket.  We have not seen the Holnagels out and about either before or after the accident; therefore, there is a good chance the kids will not see Mike before the 27th.

Lord help me to accept this.  Help me to get rid of my anger toward Mike.  I feel like I took 10 steps backward.

I need a hug from my BI friends.

Colleen

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Hang in there, we are all here to see you through this blow...... the unexpected can be earth shattering for us all.  Call me day or night whenever you need to.  

Marcia, Bethany's Mom Forever

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Colleen:  consider yourself hugged, many, many times over...and in just a couple of days, you can be more than cyber-hugged...you will be there with us in MN....

love and peace, carol  mikesmomrs

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True, more than cyber hugs are coming your way. Understand that 7 weeks more would not change it much, and I sure hope that you will be able to locate why you are feeling this anger and deal with it. There may have been a good behavior clause in his sentencing. I hope you can find a way to let go of some of this for your sake.

Amanda, it is so very understandable to feel as you do, but I agree that you need to talk with someone about it as the anxiety is not good for you but also robbing you of this time. As far as Brayden, that Angel is celebrating his brother growing inside you, so no, you are not letting him down. I think a therapist that specializes in loss would be super for you, help put things into a perspective that allows you to be happy. It is okay to be happy. It is also normal to be worried, and so I would tell folks that you don't want a shower until you are home with the Baby. Ask your husband to not set up the nursery until you are coming home. It can wait, Baby-boy can sleep in your room in a cradle until then. Its all good Amanda, breathe in and feel the blessings from all around you.

Peace,

dee

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Amanda,----Oh, I am so sorry that you are having such an emotional

upheaval. It is totally understandable that you would have a lot of

anxieties in your circumstances. I agree with Dee that baby Brayden

knows of his little brother's coming to be part of your family, just as

Brayden will always be a part of it. Peace to you, friend.

 Hope ALL of you from BI that are meeting in MN will have a wonderful

meeting with each other, and a safe trip home again. Peace & prayers.

Daveysmom,  Sherry

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Colleen----I can understand that you would feel resentment that Mike got

out of jail sooner than expected.  I have not been in the exact same situation

as you & your family are, but I too felt resentment & anger when the truck

driver that killed Dave did no jail time (he was sentenced to 10 days, but the

jail was full at the time). I have let a lot of that anger go after 6 yrs. but I

must admit that some of it surfaces from time to time. As you said....Mike is

free to enjoy the things that your family won't fully enjoy anymore. I wish

there was something to say that would alleviate your pain. I guess that it

is just something that takes time to work through on this lousy road we're on.

Peace & prayers.

Sherry 

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Colleen,

Don't look at it like you took "10 steps backwards"....From the things you have been saying lately about your family I think you have gone "10 step FORWARD" with your family.

Mikes out and yes it sucks. But, Like i've said in the past no matter what Mike is going to have to live with this and and even tho he is not in jail deep down I would think that it will still bother him for the rest of  his life.

I think you are doing a great....Give Scott and the kids a hug and know that your family is what is most important

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oppps, supposed to be a photo with this.

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heartbeataway

Wow, take a nap and all kinds of things happen!

Amanda,

I watched an Oprah show once and for some reason it came to mind when I read your post.  She had Gary Zukav and he was sharing his thoughts.  There was a lady who had twins and one of them had died of SIDS.  She felt guilty that she was having trouble loving the baby that survived.  She felt that she was not honoring or that she was forgetting the child that died.

He told her not to punish herself or the surviving twin by punishing him for living. It wasn't his fault.

Nothing that happened was your fault. Your precious baby will never be forgotten even when the new little one comes into your world. He will be the center of attention as he should be but he will never take the place in your heart where your sweet baby Brayden lives.

And as for the fear, I understand and will pray that you overcome it.

Blessings!

Colleen,

It's not ten steps back it's a reminder and the realization that life is going on around you and Brian is not part of it that is probably what is eating at your soul.  There is nothing fair about our children being snatched from our life and our future.

As Dan stated, Mike is out of prison and he's back into life.  But, he will carry that "ball and chain" with him everywhere he goes.

Have you ever wondered what Brian would say to you if you could ask him the question, "How should I feel or act towards Mike?"

I know you've heard this before but when you forgive, you do it for you not for the other person.

You will conquer this and you will do it in the name of Love ..... the Love that crosses the boundaries set by loss and grief and reaches the realm where the spirit of Brian waits and watches and guides.

 Big Hugs!

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Colleen - yes, Mike is out of jail and "living" his life again while you and your family are have lost. I have to agree with the others here who have said that although Mike is out I believe that he will carry the guilt with him always and that is also a hard cross to bear - not even close to what you are enduring but he will never have a "complete" life. Stay strong for yourself and your family and one day you will be able to let go of the anger you carry - I found it only serves to make my life worse (if that sounds possible) to hold anger. It takes time my friend, time.

Amanda, I am so sorry that you are feeling such anxiety about the coming baby - I cannot say that I would not feel the same way - the fear is real and there and you are going to have to stay as positive as you can and know that this little boy is a gift, you will love him in a special way as you loved Brayden in a special way. Brayden will always have that special place in your heart but there is plenty of room for the new boy and he will fill the spot next to Brayden. We are here and counting the days with you - all will be fine and before you know it you are going to posting his pic for all too see!!!

Lynn, The leading up to that "first" is terribly hard, the memories, the whys, the anger over take our being and we sometimes become someone we do not know. All we want is to hear that voice, feel that hug, see that smile one more time but we all know that one more time would never be enough for us.    Oh yes, the old "you are so strong, you are doing great, you look good" and on and on and all we want to do is scream "NO I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS!!!!" But in reality we are because we are still here, communicating, finding our way slowly minute by minute. Yes, it will get softer with time, that I promise but never easier or better. Hang in there my friend and we are here listening and feeling you pain.

Greg and Betsy - wow, the praying to keep our children safe - how many times did we do that as they grew from little ones to teens and some further??  It is true that we often wonder if we would have prayed just a bit harder would things have turned out different. I did not worry the night Jessica left our home to go for dinner with friends, she drove to the restaurant but knew that she would never drive home if she had one drink over her limit, a taxi, a friend or me she would have called, I was happy for her that she got to get out with her friends knowing that Tavian was safe here with us. The worst part for me to get past that night was us lying in bed and listening to the "call" come over Barry's radio - "adult female, unresponsive at Fiddler's Cove" - there is always the concern that it might be someone we knew but never crossed our minds that it was our Jessica - she had went to a different restaurant.  Now I pray for Tavian to always be safe knowing in my heart that no matter how much I pray it will be God's will, I just don't think I could survive another loss.

To those of you not feeling up to par - lots of rest!!!!

All who are flying, driving to MN I am wishing you the best of times - laugh, cry, share, smile and hug each other for all of left behind.

lOVE AND PEACE TO ALL - KATHY

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These are the 3 hearts I found. The aqua one is beach glass, the stone a perfect heart and a white shell heart - I was blessed by hearts from my Jessica!!

post-17871-128153894181_thumb.jpg

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Wanted to let you know that I wrote "Bless our Angels" in the sand - I made each letter from stones that I found but am having a hard time posting it as it is to big so I need to go back and trim them up. Just wanted you to know that no matter where I am all of you and all of our Angels are always with me. Hopefully I can post them tomorrow.  Kathy

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OH HELLLLLL NO BRENTS THINKN BOUT TAKEN HER BACK OH GOD..:(

DEE WE GOT A WONDERFUL FULL BOX TODAY OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH...

BONNIE YOUR TAX FORM IS IN THE MAIL AND DEE YOURS SOON WILL BE..

YAL HAVE SAFE TRAVELS THESE NEXT FEW DAYS...

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So glad that you received the box of goodies today Lorri, was unsure as to when you were heading out on the cruise. When does Kody start school? Hey, Brent is a big boy, if he is not seeing through the film of this young lady, well then...life goes on and one can only hope that he finds happiness. For your sake, I wish it was not with Kourt's old friend.

Such good strong words of love and direction here Colleen, you are well supported. I love what Bonnie asked, what would Brian have you do? That might make some things more clear.

Amanda, hope that sleep comes easily tonight adn that you wake up feeling better and ready for a great day.

Bonnie, how are you feeling?

Kathy, I know it is hard on you to not go to Minnesota, but we will do this again and the timing may work better then. Your time at the beach sounds and looks like a great time. Love the orbs, you are orb-wealthy. I think that Jess worked one step ahead of you to make sure you found the heart shaped pieces. Interesting that they are of three different materials; glass, stone, shell. What strong messages she has given you, that love is always with you, everywhere you go, she is there.

Lynn, I so hope that you feel the presence of Kayla in the gentlest ways as you face these days that mark this time. These are not ever easy days to walk through, so please take our hands as you struggle it out. Nobody should have to deal with this, but here we are anyway.

Love to all,

sleep and heal

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Kathy:  I know that you are sad that you can't make it to MN, but as Dee said, perhaps the next time the time and place will be more suited to you and others who could not make it this time...I am so glad that you had a wonderful time at the beach, and what better show of Jessica's being with you than your finding your beautiful hearts...I love that you are going to have the blue one made into a necklace...it will be beautiful, and I am sure each time you wear it, you will feel Jess's spirit, circling you, resting over your heart

Bonnie:   rest, heal, take care and sleep well...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

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Kayla, on this day may you grace your Mothers cheek with a gentle breeze from above . On this, your angel day.

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Kayla, surround your Mom with your love today and help her through another 'first' 

Kayla      

     Kayla

                   Kayla

                                   Kayla

                                        Kayla

                                         Kayla

Lynn, Keeping you in my heart and prayers today.

Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever 

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Bonnie I hope the doctor will give you a shot of antibiotics ( if you need one) . so you are able to travel.

Hugs,   Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

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Carol – Love the pictures of Mike so happy.

Betsy and Greg – Prayers for our families; now that’s a subject. I prayed a lot for angels to protect Danielle while driving and growing up just not Danielle but all of my children. I hope this makes sense to you. I feel that God answered my prayers.

Amanda – I can only imagine how you must be feeling please take it easy on yourself and know that my prayers are with you. I so agree with what Dee and everyone else is saying.

Collleen – You have not taken 10 steps back! I agree with Dee that I don’t think it would be any different given the entire sentence. Please know that Mike will live with knowing that he had a hand in Brian’s death. My prayers are with you and your family! Brian is so very proud of you! How is your brother-in-law doing?

Lynn – My thoughts and prayers are with you today. May your memories of Kayla be very near today.

Bonnie – Hope the doctor fixes you right up so you will be able to travel to the reunion.

Dee – Your words always seem to give me just what I need. Thank you so much!

Kathy – Love the hearts! I like the idea of the necklace. It would be beautiful.

James is moving back to college on Saturday, he is excited, I’m not so excited. But it’s something we have to do so I’m going to put a big smile on my face and take him Saturday morning.

Lorri – Glad you had a nice dream of Kourtney. I have not had but 1 dream of Danielle. I guess I’m not ready yet.

Dan – The pictures of our kids you put on this site is so very thoughtful and beautiful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for remembering each person’s dates! You are the man!

Sonya – Danielle’s Mom

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Carol – Love the pictures of Mike so happy.

Betsy and Greg – Prayers for our families; now that’s a subject. I prayed a lot for angels to protect Danielle while driving and growing up just not Danielle but all of my children. I hope this makes sense to you. I feel that God answered my prayers.

Amanda – I can only imagine how you must be feeling please take it easy on yourself and know that my prayers are with you. I so agree with what Dee and everyone else is saying.

Collleen – You have not taken 10 steps back! I agree with Dee that I don’t think it would be any different given the entire sentence. Please know that Mike will live with knowing that he had a hand in Brian’s death. My prayers are with you and your family! Brian is so very proud of you! How is your brother-in-law doing?

Lynn – My thoughts and prayers are with you today. May your memories of Kayla be very near today.

Bonnie – Hope the doctor fixes you right up so you will be able to travel to the reunion.

Dee – Your words always seem to give me just what I need. Thank you so much!

Kathy – Love the hearts! I like the idea of the necklace. It would be beautiful.

James is moving back to college on Saturday, he is excited, I’m not so excited. But it’s something we have to do so I’m going to put a big smile on my face and take him Saturday morning.

Lorri – Glad you had a nice dream of Kourtney. I have not had but 1 dream of Danielle. I guess I’m not ready yet.

Dan – The pictures of our kids you put on this site is so very thoughtful and beautiful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for remembering each person’s dates! You are the man!

Sonya – Danielle’s Mom

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Carol – Love the pictures of Mike so happy.

Betsy and Greg – Prayers for our families; now that’s a subject. I prayed a lot for angels to protect Danielle while driving and growing up just not Danielle but all of my children. I hope this makes sense to you. I feel that God answered my prayers.

Amanda – I can only imagine how you must be feeling please take it easy on yourself and know that my prayers are with you. I so agree with what Dee and everyone else is saying.

Collleen – You have not taken 10 steps back! I agree with Dee that I don’t think it would be any different given the entire sentence. Please know that Mike will live with knowing that he had a hand in Brian’s death. My prayers are with you and your family! Brian is so very proud of you! How is your brother-in-law doing?

Lynn – My thoughts and prayers are with you today. May your memories of Kayla be very near today.

Bonnie – Hope the doctor fixes you right up so you will be able to travel to the reunion.

Dee – Your words always seem to give me just what I need. Thank you so much!

Kathy – Love the hearts! I like the idea of the necklace. It would be beautiful.

James is moving back to college on Saturday, he is excited, I’m not so excited. But it’s something we have to do so I’m going to put a big smile on my face and take him Saturday morning.

Lorri – Glad you had a nice dream of Kourtney. I have not had but 1 dream of Danielle. I guess I’m not ready yet.

Dan – The pictures of our kids you put on this site is so very thoughtful and beautiful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for remembering each person’s dates! You are the man!

Sonya – Danielle’s Mom

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My BI friends,

When I first heard Mike was released early, I was angry, sad, upset, jealous, and could not understand how the world keeps turning without Brian in it.

But after reading your posts and listening to my husband (he said "I think we would have felt this way in 2 weeks anyway.  Its the sh88s that life goes on without Brian."

Today, I am much better.  This is another life experience without my son.  Without the person who made me laugh the most and kept me quessing at every corner on what crazy thing he would do next (but made me laugh through it).

I think there are going to be many more of these moments when I realize life IS going on without Brian, and my life and the life of my family needs to continue also.  I want it to be a quality, happy life, not a life filled with anger and ugliness.

Thanks for helping me

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

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                                                       Kayla

               Holding You and Your Mom

               in MY Thoughts and Prayers

 

Betty

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heartbeataway

Kathy,

The hearts were phenomenal!  I think I would have the green glass made into a necklace also ..... wow!

I guess I have a decision to make today.  I hardly slept last night.  My throat is raw. Basically from my eyes down it's a burning feeling and my throat is not necessarily sore but burning and scratchy.

I think I've gone through a box of kleenex ....... it's not getting better.

I think I'm going to a clinic today and see what a doc says.

Uuurrrrgggghhhh!

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Bonnie, ( I had a senior moment ), rememebr the show " The Waltons"? Rememebr the Baldwin sisters? I think all you need is The Recipe. And, I found it for you !

and this...all our kids are home.

 

 "At night across the mountain when darkness falls and the winds sweep down out of the hollows the wild things with their shiny eyes come to the edge of the clearing. At such an hour the house seems safe and warm an island of light and love in a sea of darkness. At such an hour the word "home" must have come into being dreamed up by some creature that never knew a home. In his yearning there must have come to mind the vision of a mother's face, a father's deep voice, the aroma of fresh baked bread, sunshine in a window, the muted sounds of rain on a roof, the sigh of death, the cry of a newborn babe, and voices calling "goodnight". Home, an island, a refuge, a haven of love."·.·´¯

 

Betsy, myson, Rich

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