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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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SAMANTHA ANT'S MA

Wow! what is really.going on in this crul world. My heart go's out to all the family's.

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Today has been one of those days when it felt that every breath, every movement, every thought--- was forced by me.   And Jason was the only thought in my being...all day long.  Even the news about the Florida school shooting seemed like it wasn't real.   But my thoughts about Jason were SO REAL, it was as if he was in my body.  I continue to wonder....did he have any symptoms the night before the morning when the pulmonary embolism caused cardiac arrest?   Had he been feeling bad?  Where was he the night before?  He was living intermittently with different people....I didn't know where.   

I do not think I can do this.   XXOO margarett 

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peggy a sad mom

Margeetx I know exactly how you are feeling that's me and I don't know how long I can take it either. The brain won't stop so the crying won't stop. The heart is gone

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Margee, you can do this, but God knows you don't want to, and we all know it feels like you cannot, but you can Margee, please do Margee, there are still things for you to do on earth. Please hold on to us and know that your Jason wants you to find ways to stay here.

As far as this horrid school thing, I am going to get political again, so if you can't stand my views I apologize, but Canada, England, Norway, Sweden, Germany, so many other countries simply do not have these issues because they do not have guns like we do. They have gun laws, they abide by these. We look the other way because the big gun lobbiests that heavily contribute to politicians to keep gun laws small and allow for these rapid fire guns and giant ammo magazines. It is sickening to think that even after Sandy Hook when tiny kids were killed by a gunman, we did not change the gun laws, and it wasn't 8 school shootings this year, it is over 15. In 8 weeks time, we have had about 15 shootings on school grounds in the USA> we are not about freedom any longer.

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Mr. President...we don't need condolences and prayers. We need action to stop this now! My heart goes out to the families and young people that lost their lives in this deplorable act.

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Thursdays are hard.  8 weeks ago part of my heart went to heaven.  I miss my daughter everyday.  I have received a few signs from her which make me happy. I feel like i am  people: Kyle'smom trying to be here for him,  and niques mom waiting to see her again.  I don't want to leave Kyle,  he is only and still needs me,  but I cannot wait to see my daughter again. 

I am angry most days,  not at my daughter or God,  I am angry at all the people walking around being mad about stupid stuff.  I cannot Listen to them complain. Just sad today.

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I agree sorry, prayer and condolences do nothing to stop shootings. Take action and stop the sale of guns period. I don't want to hear guns don't kill people, people kill people. NOT TRUE people WITH guns kill people. It is another appalling tragedy with more families suffering the loss that we know only too well. So glad the UK has no guns here. Part of the problem is bullying which causes the bullied to rise up one day and take action in a defensive way and we need to start at the root of the problem to be able to prevent this. two of my kids experienced bullying and the problem of the bullies is never addressed they are not penalised in any way, it is the victim who has to attend classes and be known as a grass or snitch. Take the bullies out of school name and shame and force them to attend classes and change their attitude. Parents also need to take responsibility and face upto the fact their child is a bully and will not be tolerated in any school or place. The other part is the free availability of weaponry that is upto the president and Congress to change. Also the problem of kids wanting 15 minutes of fame in any way they can get it, wanting the infamy of being the most prolific killer. These kids have clear signs from early childhood that demonstrate cruelty, indifference and lack of empathy that need early intervention as soon as possible.

margarett you can do this I know you do not see any light or future right now that is totally appropriate for the stage you are at, but I promise you things will very slowly get better. I know that seems impossible and you feel yourself sliding further and further into depression and hopelessness but take heart from all the parents here that are survivors of loss. We too have been in that pit of hell we understand what others cannot.

peggy yes the heart is gone, it does not feel like it matters that you have other children and family members it will never be the same. However that in time will change and one day you will be able to continue on in a happier albeit changed way.

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Niquesmom-sundays are my days. Will be 8 weeks for us this Sunday. I find it more difficult this past week than before despite meds. I have 4 other living children so I know I have to be here with them but echo your statement I want to be with my daughter. They tell us it gets better in time...that's what I cling to.

I was mad yesterday at my daughter for putting out family through this i know it was unintentional but this has destroyed me. Damn stages of grief. Then I feel guilty. 

Your picture is beautiful your little guy definitely needs you. You are doing all you can. 

:)

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Yes Kate, so good to see you today, I knew that you were feeling as I do, that every time we have had a shooting like this, land this by the way is the 18th in just 6 weeks of 2018, the Republicans say it is too early to talk about gun control, well no, it is too fricking late. we are the only country to have this terrible issue, we sell horrid guns to just about anyone who wants it and these are assault weapons, and we wonder why we have all of these shootings when you see that these guns do not exist in other countries, they are not an option there, so there is relative peace with an occasional outbreak of terror, not these mind numbing weekly attacks.

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peggy a sad mom

thank you tommy's mum i guess the problem is we don't see it coming. i just got home from work about 40 minutes ago and i just go crazy. i miss him so much i can't take it. my day is saturday it will be 4 weeks. god i want to be with him. i don't really like to use names cause i read all of your posts and i hurt for all of you. i understand anyone who justs wants to give up right now. i am holding on for my sisters, brothers and nieces and nephews i wouldn't want them to go through this again. i will wait to see if i ever feel better. i will give it time i've said it before i wouldn't commit suicide cause i'm afraid god won't let me be with my ronnie. i'm not eating right and i just can't help that i do eat every day but nothing like i did before. 

peggy ron's mom 

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peggy Ronnie was your only child so you must feel robbed both of your child and any future grandchildren so hard for you.  I think we have a couple of parents who lost their only child too but they have not posted in a while. When you lose a child at any age you also lose their future and also part of your own future it is an ongoing pain. Do you have a husband or partner? Any family that live close by? friends or neighbours? Eating and taking care of yourself seems worthless and pointless but that is what will sustain you in the months ahead. Take a multivitamin/mineral supplement every day and drink plenty of water that will help with diet deficits when you just dont have the energy or care to eat or prepare food. I feel your pain and send hugs.

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peggy a sad mom

Yes he was my only child. I am married but my husband was Ron's stepfather. His love for Ron is nothing like mine. He is there for me and so is my family but I try to be ok when talking to them. Me and Ron had dinner every night together as my husband works till 9 pm. I just don't want to eat without him. I eat enough not to faint. Thank you

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SAMANTHA ANT'S MA

Peggy prayers are with you. 

My heart aches for everyone on this site including me:(.

 
 
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My girl is in heaven

So heartbreaking to see that mom on CNN begging the president to change gun  laws. Her daughter was 14.  I grew up in ontario and I have never seen a gun ever and never knew anyone that had one. I have heard of the odd school shooting here but very rarely. I wish I could go to Florida and just hug all those grieving parents.  Maybe some of them will find their way here.  God bless them all. 

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Peggy:   You and I are almost in the same spot on this road....your Ron is only one week earlier than my Jason.   Today, I thought I was absolutely going to die.  Just naturally from my heart.   It feels as if I can barely beat.  I have A-FIB, and my mobile test tells me that my heart rate is running between 130-170.  But I can't feel it beating.  I only feel a deep, deep sadness and pain.  But it isn't a real pain.... not physical, but as if I am in space.  I can so identify with everything you say.  Please know that you are in my heart and in my thoughts.  This is horrendous. XXOO margarett 

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Peggy, I am so grateful that you have sisters and nieces and nephews who also knew Ronnie well, who you want to live for so that they don't go through more loss. I sure do get that. My husband too, is a Step Dad to my kids, and never had kids of his own, so while he loves my Son and loved my Girl, he didn't know the through and through kind of love we all have for our kids, the unconditional absolute and complete uncomplicated love that we felt the minute those Kids came into our lives. Automatic. It never goes away, and the pain you are feeling is the absolute devastation of this loss, the reflection of all that love when it is pulled away from our lives. Yes, hang on and wait and see, at some point you will begin to feel Ronnie with you. 

I pray that all of you Newbies are given a dream visit, the kind of wonderful dream that is a visit with your Dearest, one in which you wake up and feel high all day from it. That is how we know that these are visits, the residual all day happiness is their presence in your dream. We don't get to have them often, but they are the biggest treat.

Louanne, I agree heartbreaking but boy, if nothing else can convince these gun lovers to make BIG changes, that sure should. The pure heartache...well we get it don't we? But for those kids to suffer the fear and terror before dying that senseless death???No, this has to change right now.

Samantha, it is both a lifetime ago, and just a few minutes ago, the strangeness of time when we lose a Child. One day is far too long for us to be without our Child in the world, so each day is going to hurt a bit more and more until your mind and heart are a bit further through this year, and you will put together tiny pieces of your new life. I promise that you will, that one day you will look forward to something in your days again...little things that matter again. Not now, not for quite a while, but please know that one day it will happen. WE are all evidence of that.

Laurie, you okay? Gretchen? Susan? Becky? Sherry and Kate? Sandy? Dianne?

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peggy a sad mom

Ericas mom that is the perfect description of love.  He does not feel what I feel

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I have been having ups and downs. Yesterday was a good day. Tomorrow is the dreaded 17th...2 months since we lost her.

Overall I think my head is in the right place today. That can change a million times as we know.

Hope everyone is doing as best as expected.

How are you Margaret, samantha and Adams mom?

Xoxo

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Hang on EVERYONE, it is tsunami, and you are being tossed and pulled under, breathe deeply when you can and drink some cool fresh water and cranberry juice to hydrate...small cup of yogurt for your protein levels and bones...and it helps your stomachs too. Do tiny things to take care of yourselves.

Niquee's Mom, That photo is beautiful. Oh that little face of your Boy, he is there in your everyday, and Niquee is too, in a new way, sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, " you can do this Mom".

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TearsInHeaven

Heavy heart for our new parents.  The pure sadness coming through... the every minute pain...things will eventually adjust for you.  Yes, the sadness and pain become a part of you but your heart will find its way. I have only been three years with this and have certainly several steps back but there are steps forward.  Somehow, some way your heart weaves this pain in. The loss of a child is the ultimate tragedy. Nothing can be more devastating and the toll on the parent is life altering.  I for one never could imagine that there is anything harder in the lifetime than seeing your child leave this world before their time. You have lost a part of yourself. You have lost a part of yourself and you are shattered. I know I have not told you anything you haven't felt deep within your souls.  But, you WILL survive this.  You will be changed and a piece of you will be forever grieving. But you will SURVIVE.  I wish I could say my experience was that in a month or so you will be as before.  You will not be as before.  And there is no timeline.  There is no expiration date.  You will grieve as you need to, in that unique way that is as unique as your love, as your child. There will be triggers that intensify your grief, much like life affirming events,..birthdays, anniversaries, their friends growing and marrying or whatever, some of you have already seen, as in THIS IS TUESDAY...OR SUNDAY...OR FRIDAY. But for now, take it as we all have been told, one day, one hour, one minute at a time.  As impossible as it seems you will learn to smile...okay maybe only once in a while. Small steps, and accepting small moments are not disrespectful to your loss.  They are moments of your child reaching out and giving you survival tools. 

My heart also goes out to all the losses in Florida. How many more lives have to be lost before the call to action is heard?

Virginia, Kyle is the sweetest little boy.  Such a big and happy smile. It is difficult to find some emotional strength from within at this time. Children grieve too. Being a parent is so hard.....being a grieving parent is off the charts.  You will somewhere find the strength.

 

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MY GOAL THIS WEEKEND DIANNE IS TO FIND A WAY TO PUT ACTION TO MY PRAYERS, FIND A GROUP THAT IS WORKING HARD TO ELECT PE0PLE TO OFFICE THAT ARE ANTI-NRA. THIS MUST STOP!

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JUST DONATED TO JOE BIDEN'S PLEE FOR HELP TO FUND GUN LAWS AND GET THE RIGHT FOLKS INTO CONGRESS. NOW THAT IS A PARENT WHO KNOWS LOSS LIKE ALL OF US...PLUS SOME.

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lovely post Dianne you have a way with words that is so helpful.

dee YOU GO GIRL!!! Something has to change, these premeditated slaughters of children/young adults are unforgiveable. Seeing the parents breaking down on tv just makes me cry. I guess the murder of children just touches a chord in all of us. I echo you and ask how all our old friends are who have been absent for a while are doing?

15 hours ago, ericasmom said:

Laurie, you okay? Gretchen? Susan? Becky? Sherry and Kate? Sandy?

niquesmom lovely photo stay strong.

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Well, I always tend to put my head in a noose when I speak my mind... but some things have to be said ....and sitting on my hands is not the way to get things accomplished. Dee, I am behind you 100%. This has got to stop. Clearly owning guns has not proven to make anyone safe from what I have seen. In fact it is just the opposite. How a young person could get his hands on an automatic AR 15 rifle is beyond me. Quite frankly I also take offence at Mr. Trump automatically assuming that all gun deaths are caused by people suffering from mental health issues. And if that is truly the case how the heck did they get the guns to begin with? Yes, it has happened. There are also some truly rotten to the core people that are just plain bad that have no conscience. Taking a life is of no consequence to them whatsoever. Are you implying that it is not safe to live in or visit the States unless you are armed? Well it didn't work the other day did it? Changes need to be implemented at once. I say at once.... and not a moment sooner. This can not be allowed to continue. And it will continue unless people step up and put a stop to it. Explain that to the parents of those kids that are dead that it is ok to own a gun. 

If any of you are reading on this site looking for comfort and support that lost a child that day you most definitely have mine. I will not rest until I do whatever is possible to ensure that there will be no more loss of innocent lives such as your precious child. No explanation could ever satisfy us as to the right to carry firearms when I see such loss of life. You most definitely have my sympathy. 

Kate

 

 

Guess I'll get kicked off the site for this...so be it. 

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Well if you get kicked off Kate, off I shall go as well. Let's face it, nobody should be kicked off for writing what is ones heart. It is us standing for parents and children the world over, but this is not a world problem...it is an issue in the USA...land of the free? Free to carry a gun you mean. I understand the whole thing about the right to carry arms, but geez, the right to carry assault rifles and and 300 rounds of ammo for what? Do you really use a semi-automatic ar15 to shoot deer? No, these are guns made to destroy humans, the bullets are light weight and spin about inside a body, destroying organs and all near it, that is why they were and are used in wartime. I am so sickened by politicians say right after a mass shooting, well its too early to discuss gun laws! REALLY> if it was your kid or grandkid would it still be too early? I am also sickened by the people that chime in and say, well if someone is intent on killing, they will find a way, they will get a truck and run folks over...well last time I checked, a truck can't fit in a school and run folks over...guns make this all too easy. And yes, if someone is intent on harming and killing, they may find ways, but a semi-automatic war tool makes it oh so efficient. So when parents are now planning what their children will wear for their funeral, rather than what they would wear to a dance, to a party, to their college interviews...really, just some really common sense is needed. We know that the NRA funds many politicians, so it is time if you want to stop this insanity, to stop voting for these people who are funded by the NRA and there is a list. Be responsible, these kids could be your neighbors or relatives.

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Dee, we can't bring back the lives of those lost the other day...but we can sure as heck work together to make it as hard as we can to ensure that it doesn't happen again! There have been far too many. It must stop. How can we not as grieving parents recognize the agony that these parents are suffering? We need to speak up loud and clear that we need to feel safe in our environment. This will not go away unless it is dealt with properly. 

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My girl is in heaven

Im' with you guys.  It really upset me to see whete that 14 year old girl was getting buried this afternoon.  And to hear a mom and dad talking about their kids obviously still stunned from what happened.  You could feel their despair coming thru the tv. Of course only other grieving parents could put themselves in those people' shoes and know what they r going thru right now.  I feel so helpless that I can' t go be with them and say I understand I am here for you. So much sadness.  

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My dear sweet husband of 23 years, Mike, reminded me very gently, that today was the first day that I had put on makeup, since the Saturday that we got 'together' for Jason's memorial get-together.  I had an appt for a haircut.   Got there.  Sat down in the wash your hair chair, and the minute that Tina turned the water on, I started bawling, tears the size of water balloons, and snot everywhere.  So then, I had to tell her about Jason, and she started crying.  In about two minutes, everyone in the salon was crying.  The next thing I knew, someone put a cup of hot tea in my hands, got me a wash cloth for my face, and slowly, it all calmed down.  CRAP.  Is this what is going to happen every time I go out in public??? I mean, for the past 52 years, I ALWAYS did my makeup and got dressed for work.  I only had to wear a uniform for the three years that I worked in public health... all my other jobs were always in management.  I have let myself 'go' since Jason died.  You would think my nursing career would have me more programmed to be ok when I get around other people.  I have been reading this site from the first page.....I think I am at about page 60.  People are strong and people survive.  Tonight on the PBS NEWS, Judy Woodruff went over each victim of the Florida nitemare.  I cannot even begin to imagine their pain.  If anyone calls me, I start crying.... not good for those trying to comfort me.  I find myself talking to Meredith and Jeremy ( Jason's siblings ) several times a day.  I don't cry with them....I let them cry.  

I wish I lived close enough to some of you to meet for coffee or lunch.  We understand each other.  XXOO margarett 

 

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https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/your-brain-prayer-meditation-ncna812376

This is a lovely article about how the brain reacts to prayer, and this does not have to be religion based, it can be meditation as well.

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Margee, I wish we could all have lunch and coffee together too, or tea...quite a long while ago, 7 moms from this original site called Beyond Indigo, met in Minnesota to spend a weekend, and some of the moderators from Beyond Indo=igo were there hoping to kind of gage how we were doing and how they could make the site more user friendly...here's what I remember, the minute I saw my online friends out the door of the hotel, I ran to them and wept in their arms and them in mine. We shared meals and walks, and tears and laughter, and we cried to say good bye. It was a powerful time. Oh I have done the snot face cry too, the ugly cry in public, most definitely. You were ovewhelmed by perhapss the experience or the stimulation of being in this place you hadn't been in since before Jason died...or simply around people that somehow felt safe to crumble with, and we have all done these...and what a sense of community afterwards, to have all these women surrounding you in care...I am so glad that Jeremy and Meredith can let their tears out to you...not all kids will grieve at the same time as each other or at the same time as their parents...

Kate, yes, it is well beyond time. My niece who crawled out of the lecture hall 10 years ago on Valentines day from Northern Illinois University is so traumatized by the violence the other day...left the 10 year memorial where 5 lost their lives in her presence, only to find that yet another school shooting happened that day. And as we all know, when a huge trauma happens, PTSD can easily change your life, my niece has had to deal with that, and now 3000 kids and families, will also likely suffer some of that.

Louanne, I know that  you would have your arms out to hold these families...the way you do have your arms and heart out for all of our Newbies.

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Kate Louann  Dianne and dee I am solidly with you guys too.I do not believe anyone would want anyone kicked off the site for expressing their hatred of guns and lack of gun policies, you are all welcome to your viewpoint. This is a political issue but no one is pushing their views. I believe we all feel the horror and disbelief and anger that innocents were slaughtered and are very saddened because we know the pain the families have to go through. If there is anyway to prevent shootings or changing laws I fully support your efforts. I am in the UK where thank goodness we do not have a gun issue so all I can do is sign petitions and highlight the heroes who saved lives and not give any media attention to the shooter. It is a sad sad world.

margarett this is why this wonderful site works so well because we do personally understand. We speak reality and truth not the bullshit you get told by those who do not know what they are talking about. Go out when you are able, do not worry about the tears just look at how the staff reacted to you with tears of their own because they could not imagine the pain you are in but felt it in their hearts. They will go home and hug their kids a bit longer. Your story touches people. i know your boy is gone but his story will go on ahead of him. I still very rarely wear makeup because it gets smudged/wiped off, it seems a bit pointless although I always used to. We are forever changed after a loss.

I wish too that we could meet up. Because we have shared so much of our inner struggles together it feels like we are true friends and I know if we met it would feel absolutely right. I am thinking about reaching out to other bereaved parents in my area to see if we could start up a support group locally, because to meet in real life would be awesome. There are only bereavement groups not child bereavement groups and there is a difference,

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Lesley, I think that you would be a great leader for such a group, what a wonderful way for you to continue to heal and help those who have not found a venue in which to do the same. Go for it Lesley, we stand with you.

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Hi all. My heart breaks for the parents that lost their children this week and basically anytime for any reason. I'm going to try and post my two cents worth. I'm not looking for arguments or anything, just want to post some thought. 

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TearsInHeaven

Margarett, while I know you felt overwhelmed at the hairdresser I was touched to see how people rallied around you.  I think you needed that to release some of the solitary emotion. 

Dee, I thought of you this morning as I was doing my morning walk (I walk in house because of the fear of uneven sidewalks) and had on my CNN fix.  Of course, there as so much about the Florida loss.  But, they were speaking to a woman who was I believe the President of the Teachers Association and the reporter asked her if she felt teachers were being trained well enough to handle the situations.... I gave her so much credit.  She looked at him and said....how can you be trained to hand the instant carnage caused by an AR15.  So many teachers who devote their lives to the education of our young, who have had to learn to also handle the pressures these times place on kids, the lack of so many parents to instill values leaving it up to the schools or maybe just glad their "kid" is out of their hair for the day.....and now those teachers need combat training to keep their students safe.  My word, it just hits home in a way you never think it could.  I just spent 3 days with my daughter and granddaughter. Piper will be 5 this summer and while she is in preschool now she heads off for kindergarten next years and all I could think of was if it is this scary now what will it be for her.  I remember when I was in school (well this sure will date me), I was in a Catholic school and these were the days of not only fear of God but fear of "Russia".  I can remember we had "bomb" drills to dive under your desk and put your hands on your head. Like that would help, right.  I remember a Jimmy Buffett  song  that addressed just that.  The next line was more realistic....  "and kiss your *** goodbye". But these days kids are subjected to this more definitive trauma on a real time basis.  And where does the damage stop.  

Lesley,  I agree with Dee above.  You would be a great leader for a group like that.  Your professional medical training would help but it is your human empathy and touch that could help so many.

Tina, sadly those are such an accurate depiction of the sign of our times.  What does it take to wake the people  up? How many more lives and innocence are lost?

 

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7 minutes ago, TearsInHeaven said:

Margarett, while I know you felt overwhelmed at the hairdresser I was touched to see how people rallied around you.  I think you needed that to release some of the solitary emotion. 

Dee, I thought of you this morning as I was doing my morning walk (I walk in house because of the fear of uneven sidewalks) and had on my CNN fix.  Of course, there as so much about the Florida loss.  But, they were speaking to a woman who was I believe the President of the Teachers Association and the reporter asked her if she felt teachers were being trained well enough to handle the situations.... I gave her so much credit.  She looked at him and said....how can you be trained to hand the instant carnage caused by an AR15.  So many teachers who devote their lives to the education of our young, who have had to learn to also handle the pressures these times place on kids, the lack of so many parents to instill values leaving it up to the schools or maybe just glad their "kid" is out of their hair for the day.....and now those teachers need combat training to keep their students safe.  My word, it just hits home in a way you never think it could.  I just spent 3 days with my daughter and granddaughter. Piper will be 5 this summer and while she is in preschool now she heads off for kindergarten next years and all I could think of was if it is this scary now what will it be for her.  I remember when I was in school (well this sure will date me), I was in a Catholic school and these were the days of not only fear of God but fear of "Russia".  I can remember we had "bomb" drills to dive under your desk and put your hands on your head. Like that would help, right.  I remember a Jimmy Buffett  song  that addressed just that.  The next line was more realistic....  "and kiss your *** goodbye". But these days kids are subjected to this more definitive trauma on a real time basis.  And where does the damage stop.  

Lesley,  I agree with Dee above.  You would be a great leader for a group like that.  Your professional medical training would help but it is your human empathy and touch that could help so many.

Tina, sadly those are such an accurate depiction of the sign of our times.  What does it take to wake the people  up? How many more lives and innocence are lost?

 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=597265837285077&id=2060411990907103

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I cannot listen to it since I do not have facebook, but what did it say? Generally, I feel about things very similarly to Dianne, what did this guy say?

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Dianne, yes, we train and yet really, I don't even have a lock on the inside of my door, have to go out in the hall to lock the damn door, been fighting for that for 18 years...and so it goes.

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I agree with all who say that SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE regarding gun control.  Right now...

I'm just so mad I can't see straight.  There are so many unanswered questions about the killing at

the Florida high school.  Our leaders (?) in D.C. are in the pockets of the NRA lobby. Millions upon

millions go into the already well-padded pockets.No reform ever gets done...they just keep

kicking the can down the road....hoping that it will all die down, and people will forget about it.

These politicians are BOUGHT OFF by the  gun lobby.

I know not ALL politicians are against gun control,

and want to make changes, and our hopes look to them. However, it is difficult if not nearly

impossible when so many of them OWE  the 2nd amendment rights/gun nuts (NRA) , since they  accepted

so much money from them for their campaigns. My husband went to a  sporting goods store today, while waiting

for me to buy yard goods at another store, and he said that there were many people  in there buying guns.  This is something that 

seems to happen whenever there's a mass shooting somewhere. They FEAR that their guns will be taken

from them, so they "stock up". In the meantime, the gun companies make money hand over fist.

Maybe more info will be coming out about the shooter,  but one wonders how a 19-year old kid,

 flipping hamburgers has the money for an assault rifle costing at least $1,000.. There's so much we don't yet know

For the families of those who died in this  senseless tragedy..........will they ever see any answers/gun reform? 

Or will it be like all the other times ?     

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It's hard to relay what was all said. I'll try later to get the words on here. I'm not debating over this. I posted my view as everyone can. I'm not a bad person for believing it isn't the gun that killed those innocent children and teachers. I do believe there has to be something done but believe it's a mental issue. I work in a woman's prison and 95% of the woman are in there for drugs. Drugs are illegal. People still do them. Make guns illegal and people will still find the way to get them. Hence my "saying" posts. Maybe I should just have kept all that to myself. It's nothing to do with politics and the 2nd amendment. Where there is a will, there is a way. Sorry this offends anyone 

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TearsInHeaven

Wait now.  I said I was done------meaning no gun talk for me.  The link Tina sent (which I just clicked on as I have no Facebook either) was someone speaking about not controlling guns and every one has the right to defend themselves.  He uses an example of a panther chasing an antelope and should we remove the antelopes horns and take away their defense. Whatever is whatever. I did not complete the speech.  Tina you have a right to speak as you choose...that is the same as others have the right to speak in a different direction.  This is a who came first the chicken or the egg story...crimes...defense...guns...assault rifles. ????? Tina I thought your snippets were very much on target.  Our society has turned a very horrible corner and something somewhere has to stop.  When an 18 year old cannot vote or supposedly drink alcohol in many states yet can buy an assault weapon I want someone in charge of our country to work this out so my granddaughter will never be traumatized like this...or any of our children or grandchildren.  I have been involved in the treatment of many children who "found daddy's gun" with a horrible outcome.  I was grabbed in a parking lot with a gun in my back.   My heart, my soul belong to me just as anyone else can say what belongs to them.  I just know when the right time (at least I thought) is to leave a conversation.

I did see an interesting comment on all of this.  Based on the old comment with a twist---Guns don't kill people---people with guns kill people.

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Tommysmom: do you have Compassionate Friends where you live? I go to their support group twice a month,  it is a group for parents who have lost children.  It is good to meet with them,  they understand how I feel,  no judgement of negative or "bad" feelings.  There are some parents new to this journey like I am,  and some many years in,  and all in between.  You should check it out. 

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dianne thank you for your kind words to me. I know you are beyond angry at the moment because of an opinion voiced by one of our members but I am so thankful that you meant done with this topic not with the group because we need your input and way with words. Effect changes in the ways you can, because you believe passionately in saving people from guns and change has to start at grass level. I applaud your passion. Just as we grieve individually we believe differently and that is the way of the world. i am totally opposed to guns period and shudder to think what happens if more civilians arm themselves. Shootings are always tragic but when they involve innocent children and young adults my blood boils. To send kids to school or college and put them literally in the firing range absolutely appals me and I will do what i can to effect changes and support like minded individuals in my small way in my little piece of the world. On Facebook today someone suggested arming staff, I was incredulous outraged and very sad. Dee Dianne and Sherry I stand with you but I hope this does not break our little community apart because all of us are necessary to maintain the high level of support offered here.

However I also respect Tina in having her opinion even though we are diametrically opposite on guns, gun laws (or lack of) and laws .Opinions are the truths we all believe and we have a right to opinions.  Tina  I choose to talk to you  on subjects relating to grief and loss because we have that in common. I cannot understand your stance on guns, and you probably equally cannot understand mine  so i choose to not engage with you on that subject. I know you have been struggling recently and if there is anyway I can help with that let me know ok? 

niquesmom i have posted from time to time on the online forum but definitely feel more of a connection here with this group, and it is too much to be on both sites regularly. I have emailed and asked for groups in our area as there do not appear to be any and await their reply. They have been supportive and sent me some leaflets on loss which I appreciated. I think I may feel brave enough now to attend a group setting and it would be good to step out into the world a bit from the confines of my home which I rarely do. That is when I can walk and drive again of course!

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First off, I didn't direct it towards anybody. I saw everyone's opinion so thought it would be ok to voice a different perspective. I posted after "well, I'm done" post. I take offense to "I'm struggling" so that's where my opinion comes from. It does not. I have been a member of this site 2 weeks after my daughter passed and it's coming up on 11 months. I feel berated for my "opinion" because it doesn't match others on here. I was not arguing and tried to not have this kind of debate  I also stated that in the beginning  my posts and to say, not going to talk about any issues other than the loss of a child, well I will leave this site

Thank you to those that have been there for me. I wish everyone well

Peace and love. 

Tina

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