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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Sherry, Dee and Lesley...  I know how you love your flowers. These are for you.  A simple impatiens flower, nasturtium, a Dot Com Lily, and a Coneflower from my garden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Dee, I have heard that so much about loved ones coming for the next family member, thanks for sharing the story of your dear cousin Lela.

Kate, how fortunate that young man was to meet Ross that day. I am sure Jeff was cheering this all the way. Also, loved the pic of the lake...it is beautiful.

Susan, the pic of Veto is so cute...I am sure he gets a lot of love with so many arms to carry him!

Lesley, did you notice the truck further back...it said Home 2. I had a few of those types of connections...I always notice that there is a difference in "feeling" when those types of events occur.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Somersky, thanks for your post and sharing about your son, Skylar. 

I have taken a different approach to my son and had to research some hard evidence to what really happens post this life. I recommend Dr. Bruce Greyson and also Dr. Penny Sartori. Both are well qualified and recognized as experts in the field of consciousness studies.

******************************************************

Well, I am signing off for now...worked for 10 straight days and then today was chore day. I am bushed!

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Laurie! 10 straight days with no time off? I would think a two day break at least should happen for you. I hope that it can.

I am getting ready for school by stopping here first, yesterday was all meetings but finally, after many years of BS meetings, these were very effective and well received, a change in the air and I will push for that change big time. Today, more meetings but at a building level rather than a district level. Hooray and one day closer to meeting my students. Those are the days that both excite me and challenge my brain/heart/spirit, depending on the Kiddos.

Yes, my cousin Lela was receiving a message from my Girl, Erica. Erica and Lela did not know each other well at all. Lela lived below us in a two-flat in the city when we were kids, many houses had cousins on both floors...she and my Sister, Eileen were very close in age and antics, while her little brother, Gill, and I were very close in age and activities. But Lela moved to Florida when her kids were adults, and my kids only knew her from family gatherings. But there she was feeling Erica's presence letting her know...pretty amazing.

Thanks for the well-wishes for school. And may all of your Grandchildren/Children have a great start to school too.

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Mermaid Tears

Grief is Scary
By Alan Pedersen

You don't often hear people use that phrase but when you think about it, grief brings with it change, and change can be very scary.

I think grief can be the scariest after the shock has fully worn off and our mind is more fully able to grasp the enormity of our loss. We are often traumatized as shock slowly fades away.

Some call it the valley, I call it the vast grief wonderland. It is that place in between knowing that life as we knew it will never be the same....but the life we will know as a life long griever isn't yet formed.

I call it the wonderland because we wonder if we are crazy, we wonder if we will find joy again, we wonder if we can survive, we wonder how we've made it as far as we have.

For those of us far down this road, our wonder eventually turns into a knowing that we will always grieve, but we also know we won't always be imprisoned by a deep paralyzing pain.

We know we will experience joy, but we also accept that just below the surface we still feel the longing and missing. We love them still but we are able to live and embrace our new life and integrate that love into this new person we have become.

It is important for all of us to recognize and support those whose grief is scary to them right now. TCF does that so well for those families whose child has died.

No matter where you are on your journey, regardless of your loss...you are not alone and you are not crazy if your grief feels scary to you.

Any thoughts?

Alan Pedersen is the Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. Contact him at Alan@compassionatefriends.org

This is so true.....I was filled with relief when I found this site....that I wasn't going crazy....I was simply in deep mourning....

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kate gorgeous flowers thanks i will have to ask my daughter how to post pics off my phone and return the favour.

laurie i didn't notice that second truck thanks for sharing. Just seems like a great sign that Tommy is ok. There have been lots of butterflies around recently especially as the buddleia aka butterfly bush has been blooming prolifically both in my front and back garden. Five days in the last nine days one has flown in the partly open window of my sunroom and sat there for a few minutes before flying off it gives me a warm feeling. wow you work so hard you must be shattered and then there is always housework to catch up on so not really a rest is it? i will check out those two experts later. I know thaat unconscious people do hear and feel things from my experiences as a nurse and can repeat things said at the time they were in a coma or sedated on a ventilator or unconscious after an accident, stroke, heart attack etc. i personally dont believe in reincarnation but have read some very uncanny experiences others have had.Interesting concept. I have always said if i come back i want to be a much loved family cat or a bumblebee!

dee good luck with school starting it is hard to restart after that summer break before you know it it is halloween thanksgiving xmas and new year.

mermaidtears always beautiful words you have a real talent for speaking your feelings. the compassionate friends is a great organisation. Whatever help is offered to those in mourning is beneficial. Mourning does suck the joy out of living and it is hard work to grab it back. the description wonderland is very apt. i hope one day to feel fulfilled in my life and know i am healed, right now it is enjoying the good days and memories and make it through the not so good days. i feel my purpose in being saved from suicide is still to be revealed. In one of our last messages Tommy told me not to worry because god has great plans for us. I see what his plans were for tommy but I still cannot make peace with that, and cannot see what purpose God has in my life anymore. I walk alone without his help.

 

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THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS CREDO

We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain becomes my pain, just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many races, creeds, and relationships. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength, while some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share with each other our love for the children who have died. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together. We reach out to each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts, and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. We Need Not Walk Alone. We Are The Compassionate Friends.

This is so beautifully worded I wanted to post it.Here on the loss of a child website we have formed our own chapter of compassionate friends, our own tribe of support.

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Mermaid Tears

Oh Kate....you and my Grama..Essie....would be great flower friends...oh...she loved flowers...and yours are so rich in color....I kick myself for not asking more questions about gardening...

Lesley.....there was conversation sometime back but I never had the time to add to it....I think when a grieving parent starts to 'reach out' to other grieving parents with empathy...caring...understanding....that is when that tiny layer of healing starts to grow....we are given healing...when we give healing.

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Mermaid Tears

Laurie....you and I started on our grief journey...at around the same time....what a dear friend you have become. I know why you are working two jobs...to help pay the lawyers for representing your son in his custody fight for his son...your GRANDson. That is a magnificent obsession..what we do for our children. For all the parents on this site that carries 'guilt' ....please remind yourself of the great care you gave your child...and here is Laurie....doing everything a human can for her grandchild. She never stops giving and caring....and all of the parents can remind themselves to never quit giving and caring for the child/children that still walk this earth home. We still have purpose....

Thank you for the info....I wrote the names of the people you mentioned in your earlier post....I have watched many documentaries on NDE's....so much info out there..I am amazed....I have learned so much....there is a vast library of knowledge that I would never have studied..read about...watched before. I have always been a book lover....for sure....but I am getting another layer of learning.

Please do not over work yourself....I know that October is on your horizon.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Thanks for the encouragement...It has been harder to breath. Also with so many other things thrown in the pot....I am stretched very thin...I have been taking supplements though....and one is Curamed with Brain Support. 

Time has moved forward whether we want it to or not. Somedays it seems like it was yesterday....somedays, I realize Jesse is in his new home...whether I want it to be or  not....then there is the instant resisting.....I can be mad, sad, sorta crazy all at the same time---but mostly just have learned to be fake "happy" as to not bum people out. 

There is some kind of mad timetable to this all, that is all relevant to only youself....I do think that one must journey the path in their own way, their own time...it will be your own....finding other compassionate souls to come along side, in kind understanding...like a brother/sister hood that only those initiated can understand...

I listen to the stories of end of life or nders mostly...as we had many of these experiences the year Jesse was leaving....the next year 5 more left...3 of those had deathbed visions with total mind clarity...and lucid...

Myself, Jesse told me 3 days beforehand that with finality, his life was going to be short. These notices (in various forms) began earlier that year, but increased in intensity as that veil got thinner. I did not know about these type of phenomena before...until it was too late...for me I am a knower, though I wish I was not. 

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Susan & Lesley, thanks for sharing about Compassionate Friends. I was approached by a woman not long after Jeff died to join one of their group gatherings. I, unfortunately at the time was in far too much pain to want to be around anyone. What a kind woman she was. She had lost both of her sons due to a genetic illness. One of the boys had just graduated from med school as a Doctor. 

I had an opportunity to see the new hospital that was built and opened recently in a small town yesterday morning. I made a visit to the ER as I had been up all night with pain in my leg and the burning was as if they had poured acid in my veins. The building and surrounding grounds are just beautiful. I was seen very quickly as they felt I may have a blood clot. It turned out to be phlebitis and I was able to return home a happy camper.  Well, not exactly happy...but relieved it was nothing more serious. After resting it for the night the swelling appears to be improved.  I am unable to take any kind of anti-inflammatory drugs due to my other meds. Oh, the joys of aging.

I woke up to an overcast sky with the promise of the sun coming out later this afternoon. It is actually quite chilly today and the thought of fall coming is not too hard to imagine. I'm taking my friend along with another lady out for lunch today and hope her mood will improve. She is the lady who lost her husband earlier this summer. She has reached the anger stage. Wow...is she ever. Very negative and mad at everything and everyone. It's like walking on eggshells. Guess we all know about that. She has pushed everyone away but for a very few. I know she will slowly start to adjust after her terrible shock.

Thinking of all of you. I had to delete my pictures of the kids after I had a private message from a very odd person. Hope you understand. 

Kate

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Colleen, so nice to see the pictures of your Brian! And the toddler one...

Sherry, our garden didn't do so well this summer, it was too wet and I think the deer and rabbits enjoyed it more.

 

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Dianne, you were away but I was not going far anyhow, with my Son and Husband both healing after their health issues. Maybe the autumn indeed.

Laurie, i will look forward to listening to more of the stories of those whose experiences have touched the other side. Thanks for all the great names and information you share. I pray that you get a break Sweet Woman, a good break.

Kate, I loved your flowers as well, I am glad that you had great gardens this year. I am sorry that you had pain and worry having to go to the ER last evening. So what is the treatment for what they think you have? You be well please.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Thanks Dianne for the share about the end of life visions.

Here is a good resource site ran by Dr. Jeffrey Long. It is on after death contacts. http://www.adcrf.org/index.html I researched some of this after my own event and others that shared....

Dee, have you started the class time yet? Today was Benton's very first day at school...he didn't cry but I felt like it. He said -- Grandma, Its okay, I will be back. =)

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Dee, also how is your hubby and son doing?

Becky, haven't heard from you in a while....are you okay out there?

Nice to hear from those who posted here...hoping and sending good thoughts...

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Also, Kate, sending healing prayers for you....

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Laurie, God Bless Benton, what sweet and lodged-in-the-heart-words, 'don't worry, I will be back'. We started yesterday too. More later.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Wow! I wrote a long post and my phone died and post was gone!

I'm still having health issues with sight, IBS, and nueropathy, and trying to get used to my new upper denture. But not liking it at all. 

Hubby soon goes back to his job as elementary school counselor, and I will sure miss him. He's been busy with taking care of yard, trimming and such, which I have tried to help with, but I am not the healthy strong girl of yesteryear.

We have a new wild kitten that is now living on our front porch and I have enjoyed taming her. She now let's me pick her up and cuddle her and even jumps up in my lap on her own. I will try to post some pics. 

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Here are some pics I took around  the yard on the day of the eclipse, which was not really viewable here in Delaware. 

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This catfish has been in the pond for I think about eight years. Jared named hm Yow-Ming, after a Chinese basketball player that was like six foot seven. 

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Front yard looking from my porch.

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The kids playset we bought in 2000 and had restored last year.

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Our fish pond, dug by me and the kids in 2000.

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The new sign that we put on the 4x4 billboard out on the front corner of our property. The old one disintgrated with the sun. I hope this one fares better!

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I'm so sorry to see new parents here. It will be six years in October since I lost my fifteen year old son, Jared, when he was hit from behind as he skateboarded by ( IMO) an inattentive driver, for which we have never received any justice. Our state does not have an open container law and did not charge her with cellphone phone use even though it's apparent from her phone records that she received a text from her boyfriend moments before hitting and killing my son. A private investigator on our behalf, concluded that she crossed the centerline and hit him in the other lane on our narrow country road, but he was a retired Maryland State Police Officer and the crash happened in DE, and handled by DE police,  just a quarter a mile from the state line, where our house is. I will never understand why they couldn't have held her accountable. I still wake up everyday with thoughts of that night on my mind. I miss my baby boy, Jared, so so much. I know he's in heaven, and that's about the only thing that gives me any comfort. My husband, daughter and I talk very openly with each other, because friends and even family have fallen by  the wayside. Just more hurt. 

It makes me happy for all those here who have found ways to honor their children, and to move forward. My love to all of you!

Kate, I love the flowers! Susan, and others that have posted family pics, they are beautiful! Dee, thinking of you as you start another school year. 

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Mermaid Tears

Becky...our Warrior Mom....I think it would take me all of 10 seconds for me to feel right at home in your yard....paradise !!! I have a 'person I know'....she had all kinds of health issues...and was on so many medications and so strung out...it was hard to have a common conversation with her. She was not a bad person...but was so uncomfortable to be around...I finally realized that her health issues had become mental issues due to all the medications she was on. I saw her in the store and was so shocked to see how healthy she looked...and so calm and rested in her persona. She told me that she went to a new Dr. and he got her on 'Aqua Therapy'...and then got her down to taking only one medication. I was wondering if you get in your pool ? Water is so healing. Love your new kitty and the new sign. How we miss our J.D. boys...

Laurie....thanks to you I now have Youtube on the TV in the room where I have my treadmill....I was looking up the people you mentioned in your post and there were many segments on youtube....but....it is hard for me to sit that long....so Daniel installed youtube ...(thanks to Roku)....now I can watch all the Bruce Greyson and Penny Sartori segments while I walk. win/win Give Benton a hug from Nonnie....(me)...I know he is going to love to learn....hope he has a teacher like Dee !!

Dianne....how are you doing ? You have been having some of those 'down days'....please don't fret about it....I think it is normal for us...(grieving parents)....to have good days..better days...bad days....worse days. Sometimes we have it come in one day. Somedays I have to accept that this is as good as it is going to be..for that 24 hours.

Well....we have a Category 3 hurricane coming right at us....where we live in Texas. We had made reservations to go to Matagorda this coming week-end..but cancelled our reservations. Our Port Aransas is in it's path....really our whole coastline....we are fine in Brenham....we will only get rain and wind....but will pray hard for everyone on the coast. All Texans know how to 'hunker down'.....

 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Becky, so good to see your post...love all the pictures. I was thinking of you the other day, because somehow I must of downloaded one of your videos...I played it and found it was yours of Jared's spot in your house! Thinking of your JD.

 

I would like to ask for prayer for Christina. After Jesse passed, she joined a church that had a grief group. From there an elderly man teaching sunday school befriended her along with his wife. Well as time went on, he would get into these demands on her regarding her brother's death...how she should be handling it...even quoted some idiotic lines from the movie Shack at her. It was over the top. 

The church was changing leadership, and so she has now left to attend somewhere else. Well, this man wrote her a letter demanding to know why she was ignoring him and his wife, among other things. I told her not to meet with them but she did and it went bad. (This was yesterday). More demands on what she should be doing with her grieving and him quoting her verses according to his world view. She was so upset from that meeting I had to drive her to work and back. My husband got mad and wrote him a text telling them to stop talking to her and to stop judging her in her grief.

So what is bad, is that this man's wife also works where christina does and of course has to sidle up to her today to say 
How hurt THEY ARE, and how upset they are with my husband for telling them to stop their demands. 

It is a crazy situation...and feels out of control...I am so pissed at them...if they could not handle being in lay leadership, then they should stay out. I don't want to make anything worse, but it is a word of warning...be careful who you allow into that space of grieving...

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Mermaid Tears

Oh Laurie....those 'people' sound very deranged....strange....your husband did the right thing in telling them to stay away from Christina. It is a crazy and very sad situation for your family. Just keep on avoiding them...as best as you can....I recognize that Christina is young and may not know how to handle the situation at work...but tell her to 'try' to say as little as possible to this woman. People like that love to have a confrontation....do not feed into their insanity.

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Becky, I absolutely love your yard and that little kitten. It is clear that you have found a new pet to love and cherish. Your gardens are beautiful. I bet you spend a great deal of time enjoying the surroundings. 

Laurie, I agree with Susan. Some people are just control freaks. She needs to walk away and set a firm boundary that she is not interested. I hope you are getting some time to relax over the next few days. It sounds as if you are going great guns these days.

Dee, how are things at school? I can only imagine how busy those first few weeks are as you slowly get used to a new group of children. 

Thanks for asking about my health. What can I say? I was in a royal panic when I thought it may impact the surgery next week. I am feeling so much better today. They offered me a drug that is given for neuropathy which I declined...for now. I feel I need to learn to suck it up so to speak as it will most likely get worse as I age. That is when I will really need something to take the edge off. It is kind of a mixed bag as I have to rest it and yet get exercise. Go figure. I am taking it slowly as it is very sore at the moment.  Laurie had asked how your son and husband are feeling these days? I hope all is well and improved.

Lesley, how are you getting along? I bet you are enjoying your daughter's visit. We enjoyed the program with William and Harry that was dedicated to their Mom. It was nicely done and clearly her love for them was paramount. They are fine young men that she would be very proud of. Such a beautiful young woman. Terrible loss. I hear Big Ben stopped for the renos on Monday. A full four years they say! 599f4133c8399_Hie2102014.thumb.JPG.0b384c1447de3eb527301824af2bf18e.JPG

Susan, please keep safe! I sure hope that this storm will not have the impact that has been predicted. Keep us posted.

Sandy, Sherry,Gretchen, Leah, Wade, Dianne, and everyone on this journey... thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful evening. Love to All, Kate

 

 

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What could be more healing than nature. As par for the course I posted before I finished my pictures. Typical of moi...I'm hopeless on this thing. Jeff would just shake his head. 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Very nice pictures Kate.

My husband talked with this man again tonight, to reach a gentler conclusion...it became apparent he did not have a clue as to the effect of what he was saying to Christina. They were helpful on one hand, yet the demands were too much. I do believe this relationship is behind her. Again, I advise caution, especially to those with other children to who they confide in...even though it was done through ignorance, what was said to Christina, actually had physical effects on her body/system.

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Laurie, it sounds cult-ish I feel that folks like that somehow like to take advantage of others when they are low and vulnerable. Terrible  of this couple to make demands of someones beliefs and actions. I am sending BIG prayers for Christina and hope that she can feel safe and strong in her position at work, in her new church, all the way around. I am sorry for this worry for you. You asked about Jon and John. Son Jon is doing well, doctor says his recovery is on target, it will be a few more weeks before he is allowed or advised to bend from the waist, so you can see it is a very slow and deliberate healing process. He walks each day to strengthen his back and legs, he feels much much better and he looks great. I am so glad. Husband is doing better than he thinks, I think. He still has a hard time believing that he had a heart attack, but it is three months now and he is looking much healthier and is finding his way. He gets blue, but that is not uncommon for heart attack patients.

My Grandboy is 3 today! WHOO-HOO. I just happen to be up with horrid insomnia, which has been happening a bit too much lately...I am going to be really tired at school but that is the way it goes. So Michael is 3 and we will have dinner with him tonight and then on Saturday go to his birthday party. His big Sis, Erica, is 4.5 and she is taking gymnastics now, seems to really like it.

Becky, your yard is beautiful, I will sit on that porch with you any old day. I will swim in that gorgeous pool with you any old day, I will feed the fish named after the Chinese BBplayer, and we can chat through it all. I know that you will miss your Hubby when he returns to work, I know it gets lonely. I think my husband is also dealing with that as I have returned to my daily schedule. And it is busy. Oh my goodness, the start of theyear is exhausting, and without sleep even more so but once at school, I am engaged the whole time. Kids have that way with us. No time to sit and ponder. It will be a fun group but challenging too...trying to make the curriculum work for all the many styles and levels of learning under one ceiling. Love your gray kitty.

Susan, so sweet of you to hope Benton has a teacher like me...I just hope that I can be good for all of my students. I ask Erica and Lord each day to help me do my best and use my instincts and compassion...Heard that the big storm is heading your way, goodness knows that flooding is the biggest worry so please do hunker down. I am sending safety prayers. I too know folks that have improved their health by doing water work, aqua therapies. I love the warm water pool at the gym, though until they clean it better, I am not getting in, it isn't the color yours and Becky's pools are.

Kate, you posted gorgeous photos, my goodness is that your right out the window scenery? Breathtaking. And I love the photos of the Girls in their big hugs and smiles. I hope that your pain level lessens and that you can heal very quickly from surgery.

Sherry Dear, how are you doing? Are the crops being collected and the fields going under? I bet you did some canning this year. Are you reading anything wonderful right now?

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Goodness Dee, where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday that you posted  a picture of your son's wedding. Have a fun time tonight with the kids! I am  so pleased to see that Jon and Hubby are making good recoveries. I know it was a stressful time for all of you. As much as I love where we live those pictures are taken approximately a 45 min. drive from my sons home in Calgary. I can't seem to get enough of looking at the mountains.

It is Ross that is having surgery next Thursday and so when I became ill this week I had a fit. I need to be in top form as I am his caregiver and can't get sick. I did have a good sleep last night and it is much improved this morning. The vein goes from the groin to the foot and was quite inflamed. Very painful and difficult walking. But all is well and appears to be healing.

Susan, I hope things are Ok your way.

LouAnn, how are you this week?

Sherry we appear to be having bumper crops this year. The weather has been just perfect for the farmers. I'm hoping to be able to push my sleeves up and start a few things in the kitchen for the winter. It sounds as if you had a great time with the kids over the summer. We spent many a summer evening pouring over board games when we were kids. Great memories and a lot of fun.

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OW! Kate, from groin to foot sounds awful...sorry I got mixed up on surgery for you or Ross, but now I remember that Ross has a pretty delicate surgery coming up right? You will be the super care-giver that you have always been but I get your anxiety about it, what happens when we get older and can't give the care we may need to provide? Prayers.

 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Thanks for the words of support. I am hoping things will settle down now. 

Susan, sending prayers for safety...I see the hurricane is still on its way...

Kate, the picture of the 2 girls in the field with the city on the horizon is amazing...not often you see a field that close to an urban area...sending prayers for you and Ross's surgery...

Georgina, thinking of you today...haven't heard from you for a while?

Also, Dianne...and Lesley, thinking of you both...

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Dianne, My heart smiles that you found a chuckle from the situation, that you allowed it for yourself and for the friends. Lovely...I imagine your Handsome Boy is quite happy of that.

Susan, the storm as you know is now a catagory 4. I told the kids in class today and we talked about it and how it can change its course, well it looks like it has and has gained big winds and predicting big water, so please hightail it out of town to higher ground...Keep us posted when you can.

Love to you all, going to bed after an exhausting but good first week to school. Insomnia sucks as you all know, and so I am hoping that tonight I can sleep until 7:00 without needeing to get up for a few hours in the middle of thenight.

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I'm drowning. Everyday is a struggle. Let a lone the struggles to get by day to day with the loss of my baby girl, the bills and work stress keep piling up. And be there for my son first and foremost. 

My debit card was hacked....there went July's rent. 

No food...I mean none. Only thing is ketchup and mustard. 

Law firm didn't take case. Encouraged me to find a closer and bigger firm. 

Postural pain. Sleeping with pillow between knees and under arm. Means less sleep then was getting. Trying to function on average of 4 hours of sleep

Dry skin popping up all over Face 

Laying in bed to try and sleep...itch here, itch there

Going through menopause. Once a year thing and August is the month. Sorry males on here for that

Drowning, drowning, drowning.  Sink or swim. I choose swim but such a struggle. 

Back to supper. Borrowed hamburger from neighbor. Have some rice. Co-worker brought zucchini to work. I think good. Son, probably not. Nothing I can do

Survive, survive survive

Sorry if this is dramatic. Just thoughts and feelings

 

 

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What I did with her funeral flowers and other things of hers and my son 

 

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Mermaid Tears

Tinay....don't they have food banks in your town ? church charities....do you have any family that could help with money for food? I agree it is dramatic...to only have mustard and ketchup....you need to contact organizations for sure to help feed your son. I really like the way you have given her such a special and sacred place...

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Becky your garden is lovely and so is your little kittycat. Grey is my fave coloured cat and it looks so sweet. My ginger boy is such company I think every home should have one! The sign is lovely wow your Jared was handsome. Six years and it still feels quite new doesnt it? Strange how time perception is skewed sometimes.

mermaidtears hunker down safely there in Texas it could be pretty messy. My sister lives in Lindale so nowhere near the coast thank goodness but they will prob still get large amounts of rain, flooding and winds. Hope you do ok keep us posted.

laurie how strange that man felt it was ok to intrude upon and state to your friend how grief should be. She did the right thing to avoid him. Makes you wonder what his agenda is and why he felt it was ok to prey upon a emotionally vulnerable person. We do have to be careful who we let in to our grief circle and only allow people who are good for us and not toxic relationships.

kate that photo of two laughing little girls hugging is adorable you can feel their joy, are they your grandbabies? We can learn a lot about joy and simple acceptance from children they are so uncomplicated and free. Stunning scenery photos too is that near where you live?

oh Tinay I am so sorry that life is kicking you when you are so down. I agree with mermaidtears you must be able to qualify for a food bank or approach a church they would be happy to assist you in your time of need. You need to be able to find the strength to ask for help even if it feels shameful. Everyone needs help sometimes and food helps you to function better. I have the old menopause thing going too, hot flashes and energy drain and mood swings it is an absolute pain. I have tried taking sage extract not sure i see a difference. I love the area you created for your lovely girl the dried flowers from her funeral are a special personal touch. I never thought of doing that too keen to leave the crematorium behind me although I did ask the flowers go to a nursing home or somewhere where they would be enjoyed by others. I could not have taken them home with me, too emotive.

dee glad hubby and son are doing well. Health issues are not only worrying they are a pain to get over. I called the hospital after waiting 4 months for my next ankle surgery and they said I am on the waiting list and it will be in january! Still the good ol NHS means it is free so I cant complain. At least I can hobble around and drive a little without too much pain tho it is very limiting. Hope you get some better quality sleep you need it for your job.

somersky louann and miley are you doing ok? There have been some friends who have not posted in a while, know you are still thought about with love, you are not alone even though it feels like it.

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Mermaidtears and Tommy's mom, yes there are programs in town to help with food. I don't qualify. I do have a family member going to help with food, just been waiting for about two weeks. Hopefully that help is in mail today. Mainly my post was to rant. With the stress from work and rent money gone, I needed to just type what I felt. I so have a diary in my phone that I usually write those emotions in but they weren't about kiona so I wrote them here instead. 

Prayers to everyone for safety down south. 

There was a car accident a few days a go. It was a ways from me so I don't know the teens involved. A 14 year old driver lost control on gravel road. Rolled the car. A 15 year old female lost her life. She and the driver we're not wearing their seatbelts. The other 3 in car were. Prayers to those families. 

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Tinay I wish i could just hug you and help in some way it is such a burden having so little money. I am on disability and have to live very frugally to be able to pay bills but at least I am lucky enough to have some benefit help it can be stopped at anytime when the authorities decide that they have done enough. It is for mental health and I have a physical handicap too. Accept any help you can get from anyone this is a time when you are in real need. Rant all you want this is why we are here to rant and mourn and get support from each other. there was a severe car crash here too today with 8 killed and others severely injured including at least one child. makes my heart sink as i know grieving so well myself and all they have to face. So are you going to continue with a court case or is it all too much? they are expensive and justice sadly does not always get served. i am glad my son's case was ruled accidental and there were no charges brought against his friend. i just could not have coped with a courtcase i fell apart as it was. Take care of yourself and post whenever you need to ok?

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Tinay, I love what you did with your Girl's funeral flowers. Lovely. You hang in there my friend, it seems help will find you and I am glad that you are letting folks know the hard times you are facing right now. We are listening. You let it out.

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Tinay, I agree with Dee. You hang in there. In this day and age there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Times are such that many people that never ever thought they would find themselves in a difficult situation would find circumstances pushing them towards temporary relief from outside. You hold your head up. Know that you are under terrible pressure... and after suffering such a crushing loss as losing your sweet girl... yet another set of worries are sent your way. I agree that you would most definitely find the help you need if you only open up the door to asking. I love the special place you have for your daughter and I am sure the flowers you are drying out will give you comfort when they are arranged in in a centerpiece. 

LouAnn, have not heard from you this week. I hope you are OK.

For everyone on the road to recovery with health issues...my prayers are sent for a speedy recovery.

Kate

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Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. The picture is just a place to put the dried flowers that have stems. I have put small arrangements around the living room. Have leftovers for potpourri. 

The next picture is her things and her. I have yet to get a final resting urn for her. I do have her vanity that has more of her things and a picture of her setting on. I have small Garland type lights on it as she loved hanging them in her room. 

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A years worth of rain in one storm for coastal and even Houston Texas. I hope that Susan and her whole tribe are safe and on higher ground. Prayers for All in the rain drenched areas.

It is so quiet today, I took a walk and not only few human sounds, there are very few birds sounding which concerns me. I have not heard a robin sing in almost 3 weeks, and I know this because I delight in robins' music and it has been absent, though the birds themselves are here, just quiet. I haven't ever seen this happen in August, usually waiting until October to get quiet. I miss their music.

Sandy, Louanne, Shannnon, Leah, Georgina...give us a read on how you are doing please.

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JD's Mom, Becky

So glad to have recorded this when I did, as now with the loss of teeth due to osteoporosis, I don't know if I will ever be able to sing again. 

My thoughts and prayers to all those in Texas affected by the storm. 

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Mermaid Tears

Dear friends.....I am posting this song that a friend sent to me on FB.....love it. Port Aransas and Matagorda are like my second homes....both are simply devastated...and all the beautiful coastal towns on our Texas coast. One of John David's friends sent me a photo of his boat in Port 'A'...with a note saying the damage at Port 'A' is beyond imagination. Rockport got a big hit...I could go on and on. We are fine....here in Brenham. Brenham is half way between Houston and Austin. I call it the 'sweet spot'....we do have a few road closures due to creeks and streams and rivers over flowing....but....Houston and the surrounding areas are in an epic flood situation. Jesse and family live in Friendswood and they are fine..so far....the creek behind their house has risen but only half way to their house and the streets are clear...but all roads to their subdivision are blocked. The Weather Channel has had amazing coverage of this tragedy. We are to have 4 more days of rain and wind due to Hurricane Harvey...a cat. 4 hurricane. I remember riding out Hurricane Carla with my family at their friend's home ..it was a huge home...many families gathered...we were to stay only a couple of nights...ended up staying for 8...Carla was a Cat. 4 storm, also. The good news is our beach cabin in Matagorda came through with only minor damage....I guess they don't build them like they use to. It is still there but another family owns it. Pray for those in the storm...and for families that has lost everything but the clothes on their back and a few possessions....pray for Texas...and Texans. We will rebuild. We had plans to go to Matagorda this week-end for more fishing and crabbing....I will call Kathy..and tell her when they start their clean up we will be there to help. They will need all the hearts and hands that can be of  use.

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Becky, thank you for sharing your music  and heart with us. 

Susan, my heart aches as we hear about the losses in Texas. Our prayers and thoughts are with all who have suffered such loss. Please stay safe!

Dee, we mentioned just this very morning how we also noticed that the birds have fallen silent. It does seem strange to me to start so early. I did notice after the eclipse that things were changed somewhat. The orioles, robins, and many of our birds that have nested in our yard appear to be absent. Very strange indeed.

Dianne, good advice. How are you managing these days yourself? 

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mermaidtears hope all you know are safe from this hurricane. saw the devastation on tv it is awful and so many people adversely and financially affected. You know how long it takes for FEMA to give money for supplies and reparation. Glad we dont get hurricanes here they are so destructive.

hope everyone is doing ok some of you have been a bit absent which usually means going through a tough time. keep in touch you all.

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Susan, so good of you to keep us updated as to how you are doing, the coverage is amazing on tv and radio, the amount of rain, a years worth expected by storms end. Goodness knows that devastation follows such huge water. Prayers for those who are stuck and prayers for those trying to rescue...if I had a boat, I would send my hubby there to do just that. I am so glad that you are safe, stay that way please.

Peace

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