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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Wade, good to see your Brooks face here tonight...

I am sorry if I missed any angelversarys or other special events...may you all know your angels are close. I have a sharing to post here that just occurred on Jan 27. It is about my older sister Julie, who was also killed by being ran over...I am reposting what I wrote about this event: Love never dies.

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I had a older sister that passed in 2003. We all believe she knew her time was near as afterwards, we found cards that she had gotten for us that would be for the entire rest of the year, like birthday, easter, most were were filled out. (she was ran over as a pedestrian)...

Now shortly before she passed, she had wanted to take my younger sister out to a steak dinner for a birthday. My younger sister's fiance was to be included. However, my older sister passed before that dinner occurred, she passed in May.
Now, this last Friday -- Jan 27, my younger sister went out with her fiance to a steak house. Now, this particular restaurant is across from the cemetery where my older sister is buried.
There was a long line to wait, it was to be about 45 minutes.
However, a waitress noticed that my younger sister and her fiance waiting, and asked how many were in their party and my sister said only the 2 of them. The waitress, said she didn't know why, but she felt drawn to them. (my sister didn't know what to make of this, for a random stranger to say that)...
The waitress sat my sister and fiance down at the table for 2 and was their server throughout the evening. My sister's fiance commented that maybe my older sister had a hand in this...well after they had been seated, certain songs kept coming on the overhead which would have been my sister's kind of music, (like early retro music from the 70s) It was unnerving for my younger sister. And the waitress kept repeating to my younger sister throughout that evening how drawn she was to them---synchronicity??
Now at the end of the dinner, my younger sister was exhausted thinking about my older sister and all the songs on the overhead which kept playing which were my older sister's genre...
Finally, before my sister left the steak restaurant, the waitress told her again that she felt a connection with her, and if she ever needed anything, to look her up. The waitress said her name was JULIE.
My deceased sister's name is JULIE.

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Hello my friends,

Dee, you are our rock here.  Thinking of you and your newer role as Grandma...lucky ladie.  Forever saying Erica's name.

Susan, beautiful new life is a true celebration.  Enjoy every minute.

Wade, so good to see your post.  I visit often, but posting has been difficult.  At three years, reality is slapping you in the face...over and over.  This's too, will soften with time.  We will forever say Brook's name.

Cheryl, you are so new to this journey, that none of us want to be on.  I love this place.  No judgement, only love and acceptance from those who know.  Here we say there names, Tony!

Hello Gretchen, Georgina, Kate, Sandy, Laurie and all those on here for comfort.

Tommy's Mom, I would like to "ring-in" on acceptance.  Personally, I will never accept the fact that my son died car-surfing, it just does not compute.  What I will accept is my life because of Brian's death.  Brian's death was senseless.  A piece of my heart died that day too.  My family has found our new life and we have found happiness again.  But, I will forever ache for my boy.

Thanks for being you

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

 

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Colleen, so good to see you here.I hope that you are well and happy and that the Family is enjoying life in all of its gifts. I know the ache of loss remains, it is part of this whole experience, but Brian will always be smiling on you and with you.

I am off to the school carnival...yikes, all day Saturday with a school filled with folks. I will be tired but hopefully, our Student Council Silent Auction will raise good money for Syrian Refugees, our targeted recipients of our collection.

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Laurie, wow...I got chills reading about the outing. My goodness, Julie is definitely giving you a heads up she is supporting you all!

Dee, good luck with your fund raising! A wonderful cause for sure.

Colleen, good to hear from you. I am so happy that you post how there is light at the end of this tunnel and happiness will once again be found after a determined time of grieving.

Kudos to the Doctors from the States that contacted the Toronto Sick Children's Hospital to ask them to take children that require life saving surgeries that they can no longer perform... due to the fact these kids are on the list of banned countries of origin...and without the surgery they will die. Also, prayers for the refugees from Ghana that walked in freezing weather to safety at the Emerson border. They suffered frostbite to their toes and fingers and had to have them amputated this week. Prayers for a return to sanity!

 

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Mermaid Tears

Laurie...what an amazing story....thank you for sharing....stories like this one....makes me know that the bond and love from our loved ones is never broken...love continues....and we simply have to learn to listen on a different level...always ready to see or hear a cue....

 

I think the word acceptance has no description in the vocabulary of a parent that has lost a child....it just does not exist in the same sentence...or thought..or heart when I say John David.

Colleen....we are all lifted up when we read your postings....you are farther along the grief journey...and you wave to us...giving us a trail to follow...

 

 

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BOB! You are back! How nice to see you today. I get walking away from controversy though I rarely do...I was the shyest kid ever, cried when folks paid any attention to me, did not know how to speak up for myself and certainly was not treated respectfully at home, (father was a pedophile). So once I learned to stand up for myself, to stand up for my beliefs, and for the rights of others, I could not help but  continue.

It is good to know that you are finding ways like cooking to put your energies into. I have never known anyone to make pepperoni sausage. Do you have to let them cure? Or is it using pepperoni in your sausage?  So have the police or detectives found any more leads?

Dee

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Laurie, I love that post that you reposted...Your Sis had a strong need to let you feel her presence and her strength and I am so glad that  you did/do. Thank you Sweet Woman. I think of you often and fhope that this extra work that you are doing provides what you need it to provide and that you stay in good health.

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Cheryl, Tony's Mom

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My beautiful granddaughter, Alexis Stewart.  She graduated early with a GPA 4.3.  My son would have been very proud of her!!!  She and Tony had the same injuries only one lived and the other died.  Alexis broken every bone is her face, fracture her skull, cracked ribs and she never complained.  She says all the time, "I am glad I had 17 yrs 2 months and 2 days with my Dad, he had already instilled good values me." She is a very caring, intelligent young lady.  It was  good day!

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Cheryl, your granddaughter is absolutely gorgeous! You must be so proud of her.

Bob, I understand that making guns is quite an art form. My only experience was a few years back when we were staying with friends in Arlington, Vermont. Our hosts took my husband for the day to upper state New York for trap shooting. He had never shot a gun before. Everyone else in his party had their own. One of the guys was the then President of Beretta Guns USA. At the end of the day he offered to give my husband a shotgun to take to our cottage for over the fireplace. My husband was excited about the idea. I would not allow him to accept it. He went on and on about how beautiful it was. I do believe the most beautiful gun in existence was the one I saw while staying at King Ranch. The men were in meetings and I had the free roam of the house. I saw a shotgun in a glass case mounted on the wall in one part of the house. Henrietta King was pictured in an open car standing with that gun in her hands and heading out for a day of hunting. She looked like she meant business. Not too far from that case was another case that held the biggest snake skin that I could ever have imagined. It made me really nervous I have to tell you...as it had been killed on the ranch. They have  3/4 million acres and over five hundred miles of paved road on the ranch. Texas has so many snakes. After seeing that baby I could not sit comfortably around the pool... as every sound made me jump. They had peacocks roaming around the place and so there was a lot of movement going on. Had I seen a snake that gun would have been out of that case in a jiffy. How long did it take you make your rifles? Have you pictures? Hope you pepperoni turned out good.

Laurie, I'm still getting chills from your post. What timing for everyone. She is definitely letting you know she is still with you offering her support.

Super Bowl Sunday today. One of Jeff's favourites. Beer, snacks, friends, and the whole nine yards. Have a good day everyone.

Kate

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Mermaid Tears

Cheryl....when I go to my Grandchildren's graduations from High School and College...one can almost feel the passage of time...we are not aware of time passing in our daily lives....but milestones like that can't help but travel back to the time they started First Grade...with her great grades she will have a firm foundation to what ever she wants to achieve. She is a lovely girl....wow....she must have had a great stupendous Plastic Surgeon if every bone was broken in her face...I can not see any scar at all. Gifted hands for sure.

Bob...I have a lot of respect for people that know how to cook food from scratch...my Aunt and Uncle had a cabin on their country property and there was a wood stove in it...my Aunt would tell me it baked up the best cakes ever. How is the investigation going for your son ? You are doing a good 'self care' for yourself...I think when a parent can keep their hands busy...creating food...art...garden...flower bed...cleaning house...will not dip into a 'deep' depression....with this kind of grief one will have a normal depression...which means...it is 'ok' not to be 'ok'....

Kate....King Ranch is so grand...am so happy you got the chance to experience it . My brood mare came from King Ranch...a Waggoner Mare...Quarter Horse...she birthed a filly and a colt. I , too, woke up this morning remembering John David cooking up Bar-B-Que and Wings...at the last Super Bowl we shared. We haven't hosted one since.

Am posting some sunsets....when I watch a sunrise or sunset...I can't help but think we are a part of something so grand..and our child is still a part of it all...unanswered questions....answered prayers.

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What pretty sunset photos Susan, thanks. I love the way nature reminds us of the miracles that occur each day, the unanswered until we are in the wind.

 

Cheryl, your Grandgirl is gorgeous...what a great day for you all, a way to join everyone together to show the family that even in the depth of loss, life does and must still go on. I hope that she will always know the love of her Daddy and all of you, and that she carry that light to shine everywhere she can. She worked hard to not only heal, but surpass.

 

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coleen and mermaidtears i am sad you cant find acceptance, and I apologise if you were offended by my words.My beloved son is gone forever and i will never be ok with that, it is not the natural order of things and i miss him every day. However I have been able to accept that  although my Tommy has died, he lives on in his siblings and in my heart. I know I could not have changed or prevented anything that happenened that fateful night and I chose to forgive the teenage friend Tommy saved even though it was the kids fault Tommy climbed out on the ledge. I don't want to be eaten up with bitterness over the fact Patrick survived and my Tommy did not. I understand Patrick had depressive issues and I let him know it was an accident  because he has to live with the knowledge he killed his friend every day and that has to be an awful burden to carry. I have been through hell and back because of losing my son. (we all have) life will never ever be the same but I want to honour Tommy's name by volunteering and raising money for charity so he can look down and see me healing and learning to be ok and be proud that I am trying. Acceptance I guess means different things to different people. For me it means finding some peace and learning to live again.

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Mermaid Tears

tommy's Mum....Please....you did not offend me in the least....and I am sorry if my words led you to think that.

I  am sure 'most' people have certain persons in their circle..(not inner circle) that are 'offended' all the time....it can be a word or phrase that can become a sinister theme to their day or week...and they have to let everyone know 'just how' they are offended by what another said. I learned years and years ago to stay far away from people like that....I may not be able to steer completely away from them because of social activities....but I would not ever invite them to my home...or a gathering.

Let's face it...when a parent has this kind of grief....they no longer sweat the small things....

I still think the word acceptance will always have a different definition to each parent...for their grief is as unique as their child is unique. I so admire you in honoring your son in your choosing to volunteer and raising money for charity....that is so much better than sitting in a dark room and crying every day. You are using your grief to become a viable person in your community...rather than becoming bitter. We will each find a way to honor...remember...our child. We all come from different backgrounds...environments...so there is no cookie cutter way for us to do what we feel is a true manner to cherish our child.

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Susan, wise words indeed. Thank you for sharing those pictures. Nature has a way of offering solace to a hurting heart. How is your little wee one doing these days... and his Momma? We did enjoy our time at the ranch and the Texan hospitality was beyond belief. They had the Cups proudly displayed in their dining room. The Kentucky Derby, Belmont Stakes, Triple Crown, among a few. They were really something to see. They sent us home with their own homemade chili sauce. I can honestly say that I have never tasted anything so hot in my life. Those peppers were a killer. Jeff loved it. By the time we worked our way to the end of the jars I will say it had grown on me.

Off to watch the game. Sending wishes to all for a restful evening.

Kate

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Bob it is so good to see you back!   50# of pepperoni links is alot of links!  Bet your house smells good.

Laurie, what a great message from your sister.   That story and Kate's story of her experience are amazing.   I keep hoping to have an experience like that from Sarah.   Haven't had anything like that yet, but know it can happen.

Cheryl, your grandaughter is beautiful.    Grandchildren are so special.

Susan the sunsets are beautiful.  Thanks for sharing them.   I need to stop and watch more of the beautiful things in nature.   Life gets so busy sometimes and we miss alo

Dee, how was the school carnival.   It sounds nice and what a great cause for your fundraiser.   We had some warmer weather here today.  It go into the 40's and lots of sun.  It was so nice to see the sun. 

Kate, I am very phobic when it comes to snakes.   I wouldn't have been able to sit by that pool at all after seeing that snake skin..  I don't even like garter snakes.  EWE!   Guess now that I think about it, I am pretty wimpy when it comes to critters.

Lora, if you are checking in we would love to see you back.  I was thinking of you and Cara today. 

Well have been watching the Super Bowl and it appears that New England finally woke up.  Guess I will go see how this ends. 

Have a restful evening.

Sandy

 

 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

I thought the story might be an encouragement to all that are here...these are sacred moments...I am always encouraged by that lovely photo of Erica's light...

Also, Becky you out there? doing okay? 

Bob, Jesse would have loved to be cooking that sausage up on the wood stove...we have done that some ourselves...

Colleen, good to see your post here, it is hard to come to terms with how our loved one passed...I agree...

Cheryl, thanks for posting the pic of your lovely grand daughter....congratulations of her early graduation!

Tommy's Mum, it can be healing to find something to pour your heart into, one bereaved mum I talked with organized a homeless shelter for vets as her son died in the Iraqi conflict. She took in many soldiers who needed healing and still does this kind of work.  

Kate, thinking of you and Ross too, I suppose you up there still have plenty of snow...my mom who only lives about 4 hours south of me keeps letting me know how they don't have any snow where she is, can't figure that out...She lives pretty close to where Colleen is...

Sandy, good to see your post...

Wade, hope to hear more from you...its okay to say you are not okay...there is no way anyone has to make this journey...there is no outcome that needs to be arrived at...I send gentle thoughts your way....

Susan, also thanks for the pics of the sunsets, very lovely...

Finally, thanks again to Dee and Sherry for staying on here...

Today was my Grandson Benton's 4th birthday...he is a rainbow child as he was born shortly after Jesse passed...we were so happy to have him today. 

 

 

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Happy Birthday Beautiful Benton, you shine the light of your Sweet and Precious Uncle Jesse...in your laughter, your smile, and in all you take in and learn from.

Today a strong and beautiful sunrise, I sit and watch but I should be getting ready to leave for work, instead I linger here watching the colors change.

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Mermaid Tears

Laurie...you and I share in that we both have Rainbow Grandchildren....our Wyatt is 4....

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mermaidtears the quotes are wonderful. Glad I did not offend you. You are correct that each one grieves individually and heals in their own way in their own time even within families. i have witnessed that for myself in seeing my 3 other adult children each grieving in their own way." No matter how long the time was. I t will never seem like enough" gosh how that rings true. I still cannot look at old photos even now just not ready. my kids are really resistant in posing for photos which makes me really sad as we all know too well how precious memories are especially when they are all you have left of someone you love. Hi to Bob glad you made it back. Cooking is always a good activity taking pride in something you have grown or made yourself is good we often do not take credit for our acheivements and we should. Cheryl your grandaughter is so bright you must be so proud. It is very strange that identical injuries can cause such different outcomes. My son and his friend fell from the same building same height and were both badly injured yet only one dies. At first i was so resentful that another family still had their child but I gradually realised that that was what Tommy was trying to do, save another family from the pain and loss and i was able to forgive and reach out to patrick to make sure he is doing ok. Sometimes forgiveness is possible in other cases it is never deserved, and I feel the pain of parents on this site who have not yet seen justice served or even a person held responsible and punished for their crime, that must be an additional trauma. i don't know whether to believe in karma, too often I have seen wrongs go unpunished maybe in the next life?? On a much lighter note I hope you all enjoyed the superbowl. I miss living in the USA and watching it with friends and family it was a happy tradition.

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Bob----Good to see you back on this site. Glad that you are keeping busy 

with the sausage-making project. :D

 

Laurie----thanks for posting that lovely story.

 

Dee-----I remember your picture with the shaft of light on the walking path. 

 Lovely pic....and so meaningful when it appeared after you asked ERi  "where are you, ERi" ?

Hope that the school carnival to raise money for such a good cause went well.

 

Kate-------the hot peppers sound good, but I have never been able to eat them. My

husband dearly loves hot peppers, though.........the hotter, the better, it seems.  :o

 

Cheryl-------Beautiful pic of your granddaughter.....thanks for posting it.

 

WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL  INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    sherry

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Sherry, the fund raising event only brought in about $400.00. It is much less than we were hoping but, it is $400.00 more than we had to begin with, so we will deposit the money in the Student Council Account and write a check to the Syrian Charity that we chose and go forth knowing that we tried.

 

 

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I wish there was a like button. When I'm behind i can't keep up with everything I would like to comment on. 

I do know I saw colleen. Always nice to see you.

Bob I'm glad you're back. The sausages sound awesome and a great easy way to stay fed.

Back to acceptance I accept whatever anyone has to say about it lol. It is as different as our journeys.

Sending love to every one.

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Mermaid Tears

Dee....those kids will be as proud of the $400 as they would if it were $4,000.....(of course we would as adults like the $4,000)....still such a teaching moment for the kids in giving....

Gretchen....so true....there are many 'shades' in acceptance...I can feel one way in the morning...another in the afternoon....after 1,000's of thoughts have washed over me during the day...some days I am strong and balanced....the next day somewhat pitiful....the next day full of cheer and good will....the next day...wrung and hung on the nail.....I will be glad when I can stay in a somewhat controlled state/attitude/mood/emotion.....still a work in progress.

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ericas mom $400 is an excellent amount and will change lives well done for raising the money. Helping others also helps us. mermaidtears it is true how emotions and attitudes change like the wind, I think that is why sometimes we wonder if we are losing it! I know I do sometimes, but then other times I see my progress and feel I am making sense of the world. each day brings new experiences. Today I saw a couple of crocuses and four mini irises in my garden so it is true that Spring is beginning in the UK at least. I guess there is probably snow in the USA? I kind of miss the snow actually well except for digging out my long driveway and the log pile. We have just had a lot of rain which brings down the mood, although my blue light definitely helps.

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Just a question from a computer illiterate person, sorry but when I copy and paste a quote from the web on here it either will not paste or pastes and will not let me resize it smaller. How do you clever quotees do it? Sometimes a quote or picture is just better than words. Thanks

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Oh please don't think me ungrateful...I just was hoping for more of what we have earned in the past: 600.00 or more. But I get it, times are tough. It is a lot of work on our end, husband makes all the items and we buy the paint and stay after school for at least 3 days to finish the painting with the kids, and it was not shown one bit of courtesy or consideration by my boss...so I am just feeling down about our school right now. I do a good deal of outreach at school, but I have been on my principals 'crap' list for several years, and so she doesn't even come and tell the kids what a fine job they have done by all of their work..it just kind of sucks. But $400.00 will help out a few families and yes, the kids will feel that they are giving thousands through this outreach. Thank you each for your comments.

 

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Dee, is there a way that I can donate to your fund?    

Sandy

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Sandy, the outreach we are collecting for is for Syrian Refugees, in Syria. This is through  our Student Council. Yes, you can donate if you like, a check to the Lincoln Student Council...but I am sure that you can donate in your town to a similar outreach...however if you would like to help our Student Council make a difference, please do. PM me if you want the address. So sweet.

So we had 2 days of 50 degrees, and now it is down in the 20's with wind. Up and down the temps go, and twice tonight  I look at my email from school, another child is home sick. Hard on bodies when the temps go up and down...

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Such an important lesson you are teaching the children Dee. They are the future of our world. With so much apathy these days it is so valuable to learn compassion and caring. Good for you!

This weather is driving me nuts. One week it is warm and lovely... and the next it is cold as can be. Last night it went down to -28C and yet by the weekend it will be +1C... or so they say. We have not had all that much snow ...and yet they are calling for overland flooding this spring. Global warming is really making an impact in our part of the world. Something to take very seriously.

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INdeed on the weather Kate, I very much agree about this being global warming...we have had two days too, in the 50's, and now back to 20 degrees. The roller coaster effect. This weekend, it is to go into the 40's and bounce us around some more. If this were late March or early April, it would be a normal battle between winter/spring, but this started in January, the up and down of it all, and we have not had snow since December which is sad.

The soon to be full moon is causing so much upheval in the school today,  all sorts of problems with kids, and injuries too.

 

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Thanks to all those who mentioned Benton's birthday...it was a Ninja Turtle theme this year...

Susan, thanks for sharing the pic...

Dee, what does the fund do for the Syrian Children? 

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There are a couple more new members who have been redirected to this thread for support I hope they get into contact soon, your gentle words and personal stories really help.

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I hope that the new folks come too Tommy's Mom, and I hope that we can hold their hands while listening to their hearts.

Laurie, the fund will be sent to a Syrian Refugee Charity to assist with either food, water, bedding...any number of needs in the refugee camps. How are you these days? I like that Benton did a Ninja Turtle Party, my Grandgirl likes the Turtles too...though lately has found her inner princess.

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Dee------Congratulations on the $400. that was brought in at the 

school carnival for the charity.  As you said.....it is  $400. that

will be sent to the charity for their work.....and I'm sure they appreciate it,

even if your school administrators were silent about acknowledging all

your work, and that of the dear students who put so much into it.  

Many times,  teachers work.....above and beyond their school day class

duties,... are taken for granted, expected, or just plain ignored.   Sad to say. :angry:

 

HAPPY   BELATED  4TH   BIRTHDAY  TO  BENTON.

 

Laura------I bet Benton had a wonderful birthday, celebrating with the NINJA TURTLE theme.:)

Tommysmum-----I, too, hope that the new people find their way here. They will be welcome.

 

PEACE   AND   COMFORT   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,  Sherry

 

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Thanks Sherry, I just wish that the Student Council for all of their efforts were congratulated by the school, but we will have a LEADERS LUNCH later on in the year to celebrate all they add to our lives as leaders of Lincoln School.

Peaceful day All

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Mermaid Tears

Dee...I think I posted this years ago...I have a friend that is a teacher and she told me...'I can teach any child...but I cannot teach under all Administrations'...there must be a missing link in her DNA if she cannot express gratitude....common sense good manners. We all have known people like that...the charity will be greatly thankful.

 

Love those words I am posting....but so true....those of us who did break...and had no choice in being broken..and had to learn to heal...find a vast vacancy in our hearts for reaching out with compassion and care...

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Susan statistics show poor give a higher percentage of their income than the rich no surprise those of us whose hearts have been shattered will be the ones to comfort newly devastated parents. It is the knowing I suppose.

Today I really had a little conversation with forest that I needed a sign other than through a psychic. I was on my way to my daughter's whose marriage was in another crisis moment. I was driving when it suddenly dawned on me there was a construction road block on my usual route so I m add a quick decision to turn. I was driving along and suddenly realized I was driving by one of forest's old apartments and I had this feeling of softness all around me and like someone was holding my arms. The fact that I didn't notice what street I was on until all of a sudden I was so surprised to discover where I was

I noticed crocuses and irises starting to push up in my yard. This weekend it will be 82° in Feb.! It was -4 three weeks ago. Crazy. Global warming "coming down fast helter skelter"

A little concerning to me.

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Gretchen, I am so glad that Forest did indeed give you a wonderful sign of his being near. Lovely, that softness, that sense of comfort. Hooray.

And yes, a bit concerning this weather we are experiencing. Hugely concerning.

shannon, lora, leah, becky, and all of the wonderful folks we love and know...are you out there? Are you okay?

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Gretchen I am glad you had a sign it is really important to get confirmation that our children walk with us still even though we cannot see them. I could really do with a sign right now as my car died today. I have only driven it a couple times since last may because of all my ankle surgeries, and it was a real blow, mentally and financially. Still things are thrown at us in life and when you have lost a child nothing, nothing compares, so I wait for it to figure out. I still cant drive coz I am on crutches still so I guess it does not matter, its not like I can walk to the store is it? Mermaidtears as always your quotes are spot on. I try to donate whenever I can, whether its financial or a few food items for our local soup kitchen, yet my ex husband has more money than he knows what to with and never gives to anything. i truly believe that giving to others whether it is money or items or your time is so valuable. Love and caring make the world go round and better people in it.

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Mermaid Tears

Gretchen....I do believe that would be a sure sign of your SONshine boy near....a feeling of 'peace and soft'....you are opening up and can 'feel' now...I think to become more childlike...we would see and feel more. As I have posted before...I set up a treadmill in my guest bedroom and watch Amazon, Netflix and now I subscribed to the Gaia network.....have been watching some amazing documentaries....which teaches about the different frequencies..watching 'The Path' now....out of body experiences...remote viewing...I think we have a lot of layers..dimensions...around us....quantum physics has opened up another learning curve....I keep my mind as wide open as possible...I try not to judge what I am watching...try to absorb it all...then....I analyze the content. Life is like a huge classroom...if one can stay curious.

 

Tommy's Mum.....I have to agree....if you are on crutches...maybe the car can wait to be fixed. I have a story about my Grama...when she was in her early 20's...a situation came up...(too long for me to post)...and she decided that 'I may not be able to save the world...but I can save my corner'.....one doesn't have to do great things to do good things. Too many think that because they can't give a million $$$...their small $$$ won't make a dent....but when people come together...that $10 given by 50...becomes $500. I so believe that when you give...you receive. Keep on doing what you can and when you can...it does make a difference in your community. The other part of giving and doing...it takes the focus off of your grief...and your eyes open to other people and their troubles and suffering.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjImFYf2Vzc

An oldie but a goodie...the video does not go along with the meaning of this song to me...the meaning is much more metaphysical to me...I know I will see you again...

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Cool Dianne, he somehow was connected to the music in many ways, and yes, an old soul, perhaps reaching back into an existence from a different time. I loved and still do really like Moody Blues music. Threshold of a Dream was my favorite album of theirs. I think I could sing each song, word for word, but certainly could not tell you one fact about any of my classes during that time in high school. Music was my way too, and my kids also grew up with a lot of music in the house/car...everywhere. My students get an earfull too. My Grandies really enjoy music, especially Michael, who at age 2.5, stops everything when he hears a song that interests him. And he loves to dance.

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Susan, I love the screen shot with Zeppelin lyrics. I listen to  Led Zeppelin on Pandora radio. While i love current alternative and rock folks, I hold tight to the standard bearers as well, like Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, David Bowie, Moody Blues, The Doors...Grateful Dead...Crosby Stills Nash and Young...the list just goes on and on. So many great musicians to fill us each day.How is Baby Veto doing, and Taylor too? Are they still staying nearby?

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I lost my son yesterday, he wasn't even two yet. I am lying here in bed, I can't sleep. All I can do is picture him like I found him. And blame myself for not checking on him sooner. He was running a slight fever and I put him down for a nap. And he never woke up. The coronor believes it's the chest cold my other child brought home from school. But won't be able to say for certain. I don't know what to do with myself. One minute I feel numb, and then I'll look at the sugar bin he liked to slide across the floor, and then I'm flooded with a level of pain Worse than I've ever felt before. He used to come sit on my lap and blush and give me a kiss, and I would give anything to have that one more time.  To have him run down the hall and yell, Boo. He was my boo. 

I just don't know what to do anymore.  

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Oh my Dear Woman, I am crying with your story, holding your hand and heart. I don't know what to say to you other than, I am so sorry that you have to go through this terrible terrible loss. Your beautiful boy whose smile and kisses will forever live in you loves you as you love him. Breathe is all I can say, breathe and drink water to replace the tears, and let the other kids know that they will be okay. Nothing more abstract and horrid than this kind of loss. Make sure that you and your other Kids have others around to assist with meals and school work and day to day stuff after the shock of loss wears away. Give yourself time...it takes a great amount of time to find your steps in loss of a Child, no wrong way to grieve, be kind to yourself as your Boy would have you be.

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Ferrin--------I am so very sorry to hear of your loss of your sweet little baby boy.

As Dee has said....there is no loss that will ever compare to the loss of a child.

At this time.....so soon........there are really no words of consolation to the

parents  who has lost a part of themselves and who feels only desolation, pain,

and despair.  My baby, Lisa, died at age 6 months old, many years ago, and then

in later life my son, age 31 was killed in a highway crash.  I am sending prayers

that somehow you may gain some strength & peace in the coming times.  Please

come back to this site,  as it is a place where the sorrow of losing a child is

known, firsthand,  and understanding is extended to everyone else, especially

those who are new to this journey..   Peace to you, friend. 

 

Dianne-------Music was always a big part of our household too....from the time

when my older children were little, to later on when David was a youngster like

your dear Michael.  Music is a language that everyone, including children, relate

to,  even at very young ages.   Last summer, I happened to be visiting at the local

county fair, and there was a band playing music at the historical village section

and a young couple came along with a tiny boy...... he must have just mastered the

art of walking. But, when the band began to play, he stood in front of the bandstand

area and began to dance.  He was so sweet and happy. He brought many smiles to

a lot of faces.

 

Dee------I love all the bands you mentioned.  Music is always playing in my house. :D

 

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry

 

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A young boy stands at the window of his bedroom looking down into the next yard. His elderly neighbor is sitting quietly on a chair under the shade of an old tree. Usually this man is full of energy busily working in his garden. He senses that something is wrong.  He walks over to visit him. The man is crying softly and tells the boy that his wife has just died. Too young to know the right words to comfort him he sits up on his lap and softly places his hand over the mans hand. Sometimes we can only quietly wrap our love around those that are in this awful place. Words can seem inadequate at the beginning. That is what this site is to me. People from all walks of life that understand. Ferrin, we are wrapping our arms around you in loving comfort today.

Kate

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Mermaid Tears

Ferrin....beyond sad...for you and yours. All the parents on this site will not tell you to be strong....or 'heaven needed another angel'....or 'you can have another baby'....no....we will tell you how this kind of grief is so dark and heavy...and until one loses a child...you can never ever imagine how this grief causes such physical pain. We are here to hear you. Many parents on this site has lost a baby child...and also lost a grown child. They will know how to reach out in ways that I can't. I have never lost a baby child....I lost my SONshine boy..he was 42. I have learned that it doesn't matter if we lose the child in the womb...or they lived 2 hours...2 days...10 years...50 years...they are still your child...and your grief journey will be as unique as your child is unique. I am thinking that there has to be very Special Angels that hover near a Mommie after she loses that baby child. Go ahead and cry and cry....this is a time for tears. We grieve deeply because we love deeply.

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