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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Mermaid Tears

I may be going against the grain here....but I do want to express my thoughts....

I think that the 'manner' of 'how' your child dies...does become an extreme focus point in your grief. If your child dies because of a 'distracted driver'....a drunk driver...a 'pilled up truck driver'....a driver going 120 miles an hour....gets hit by a train...your attention will manifest on those problem drivers...there was an article on the paper siting all the vehicle homicides last year...they labeled it 'Slaughter on the Highways'...true enough. We have many parents on this site that are 'fighting for justice' for their child because they have been the victims of this kind of road homicide.

If your child dies of suicide...your focus will be on that kind of grief. If your child dies of overdose...you will become very focused on that kind of grief.

Same way if your child dies from a gunshot....you will focus on all the gun homicides...gun control...who should have a gun....who shouldn't have a gun....I think Bob was simply trying to make some sense of his grief....in thoughts that there are many good people out there that carry a gun and they can be 'at the right place at the right time' and maybe keep some innocent people from being killed. His son was killed by someone who had a gun....he is simply trying to come to terms with all of it.

I think this site should allow a parent the right to express their thoughts ...especially on the subject of how their child died...and express their thoughts..feelings...emotions....let's face it...all of us on this site knows that until you lose a child....you don't have many friends that want to hear your thoughts or wrap any empathy when you want to share what you are feeling or thinking about.

Many Dads are taking their daughters and sons to a shooting range and helping them get Concealed Carry before they go to College....is that the way I want to send them off to school..no. After losing John David...I don't want a parent to go through what I have gone through..so...I think they should do all they can to keep that child safe.

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I agree Susan, that is what I said to Bob and All earlier in this thread about guns...it is about the death from guns that Bob has to be concerned with since he has lost his beloved Son to this kind of violence...that there is no right or wrong here as to your own opinions about guns...just difference of opinions. I never would have paid as much attention to train deaths had I not lost my Girl in that way. It is natural to become more sensitive or hyper-aware of the manner that took our Babies.

Susan, glorious photos of Tay and Babes.

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Bob-I was worried you were feeling ostracized. Everyone has an opinion on guns. If your child dies by a gun may make all the difference in that opinion. Depending who is holding it when your child dies also may make a huge difference.  Where you live, how you were raised etc. 

I agree with Susan. We all get hyperfocused on various aspects of our child's death whether it be how it happened or the moment of impact or the moments before or the last time you saw them whatever, you need a safe soundingboard and I can listen to whatever you need to say. I can see so much tamped down grief behind your anger. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son and I think anyone who may take issue with your stance or comments can easily go to the next post. Me i am completely against guns but I have friends with an arsenal. It doesn't change my love for them. 

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Thanks to everyone for your kind words.   When I came on BI,  (along with Dee),

there were compassionate people to help and understand.  They've since moved on,

but I will always remember them helping me when I was staggering along...

in a trance of grief.   This site has been a lifeline to many people....including

myself.  Many people have come......posted...stayed.....and then found the

strength to go on without the site, and for that I'm a grateful, and wish them

the best.  No one is ever  'required'  to visit the site.....post replies, or anything else.

It's a personal decision, and all are welcome whenever they come, or how often.

 After all...... I guess that when losing a child,  one needs all the help they can get.  

sherry

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I agree with what the others have said on the site. Bob, I owe you an apology. That is the great thing about living in a part of the world that we do...we can freely express our opinions without fear of retaliation. We agree to disagree. I am totally ignorant of your gun laws... and as we do not have to use them as you do... I do not understand the need to carry them for protection. I had no idea it was getting that bad. Thank you for posting the pics of Germany. It really is a beautiful country and I hope you are able to revisit the places where you served as a young man.

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Kate, I think that when you come from an otherwise peaceful environment, it is difficult to think of so much gun violence, especially when the US was not this way many years ago...I hope Bob will return as well...Bob?

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Dee, I noticed that the Midwest is having an ice storm. Hope you are keeping safe.  Picked up a good book the other day while in the city that you may enjoy reading. Do Not Say We Have Nothing, by Madeleine Thien.

Sherry, we woke up this morning to sunny skies and a warming trend. The temps are climbing all week.

Laurie, Georgina, look after yourselves. With any luck you will kick his nasty bug before long. Hope you have a better week.

Susan, Tay looks beautiful with her new babe in her arms. He's adorable.

Again, we have always enjoyed our visits to the States and will continue to do so when our health permits. Like all places there are areas that should be avoided while travelling and we do just that. We are all watching the recent developments in your area. My heart aches as I watch a friend struggling and feel helpless as we stand by. Prayers for happier times.

 

Love to All, Kate

 

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The ice storms are south of Chicago so we are spared, but Gretchen may be having them, and Sherry??? Thanks for thinking of us Kate, the state of things politically are bleak right now, though not to insight anger here, some may feel more hopeful with our incoming president...to me, it is a bad dream. Love and hugs to all as I go out for a walk, some weak sunshine and I will take it! My cold persists as does my rough voice.

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Thinking of you all today.  It is kind of a gray day here but am thankful we don't have the ice storm that is occurring just to the south of us. I caught the ugly upper respiratory infection that is going around so am taking it easy today.   

Bob, I hope that you will consider coming back to the site if you can.   I am so sorry for the loss of your son.  I found this group after my daughter Sarah died on March 14th 2014.  I am very thankful that I did.  I do not post often but read regularly and I can't count the many times someone shared something that really helped me get through a difficult day.  And they are all difficult in the beginning.   The thing with texting, and emailing and posting is the words cannot show the "feelings" behind the words.  Without voice inflection what we say sometimes comes across far different than what was intended.    Everyone on this site are kind, caring and loving people who walk the same journey but all in different ways.   I wish we could all meet in person and just talk and visit.      The political environment adds stress I think for everyone as we watch what is going on no matter what our personal beliefs are..   I wonder how this will all affect the children who are watching the adults treating each other this way.    I have always felt that this site is a "safe place" to come to and share, knowing that those that are forced on this journey understand and "get it"     And I still feel that it is.    Thank you to each one of you.   

Have a good afternoon. 

Sandy

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Sandy, so good to see your lovely self here today. I hope Bob will come back too. How are you doing? Glad that we are not dealing with the ice storms, but any of you out there that are, please just stay put and ride it out.

My nephew and his girlfriend went to Cleveland to a funeral, sadly, the brother of my nephew's girl, died by a drive-by in Indianapolis. Sadness. I hope that they will drive very carefully home.

We have tomorrow off from school to recognize Martin Luther King's birthday. God bless him.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Susan, thanks for posting the pics of the baby. How sweet.

It is supposed to warm up next week, I am relieved.  I think sitting here too long is just overwhelming me. I am hoping to get to feeling a bit better next week. Hopefully post something a bit longer then these snippets. 

My Thoughts for the Day: For all of the Angels here, and to those newer angels: Jake and Tommy, Love is forever, death does not end those bonds. 

 

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Working in my studio. Fixing things up. I've been stringing beads to hang in the windows. I'll be glad when I can get some insulation! Trying to do this on the cheap. Not gonna sheet rock it. Gathering together papers that look like they came from an old quilt to cover it with. It will look like I'm inside one. This will make me feel very cozy and happy. Like nothing in the world can touch me.☺ but right now I'm freezing my butt off. We just got cold rain no ice thankfully. North and west of us is a mess. I have been through enough of those beautiful ice storms to last me a lifetime.

Dee I'm sorry to hear tragedy hitting close to home. When did this country flip that switch and why? So different than when you and I were children and even teens. So sad for these kids .

I too am very concerned with our political environment and the future of our country. I may be paranoid but that old adage of being taken over without a single shot seems so possible. I know we have checks and balances but I am ready to get this inauguration over and see what is going to happen. It is making me anxious.

 Susan is everything still going well? How is your granddaughter coping with being away from her little boy? That must be hard. How much did he weigh? Seems his lungs were in pretty good shape for an early arrival? Have you got to see him yet?

K gotta head to the house and thaw my toes. Love

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Gretchen, glad that you are not dealing with the ice storms...yes, you have had your fill of many weather related craziness. No, the issues when we were growing up were far different than this violence...and I really cannot pinpoint when it got like this, but I know that for the last 20 years in Chicago, it has been pretty violent with drug trafficking and it has only gotten worse. As far as anxiety having to do with the incoming white house...we are not alone in that...I feear that the checks and balances that have existed in the White House...might not count as they used to. I think taht as citizens who believe in freedom and what America is supposed to be, we will need to be vocal about anything that breaks from the Constitution. Love the thought of the beads for the windows and gosh, you are one tough cookie to work in the cold without insulation. Don't get a chill.

 

Everyone, a peaceful night, a good day tomorrow.

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Ricky's mom , Wendy

Mom lost her battle with cancer yesterday! 

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Wendy, God bless your Mom, God bless you and the Family as you face this sadness. You will be in my prayers and hopes.

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Mermaid Tears

Wendy....I remember standing by my Mom and see her slowly go....it was such a surreal space in time. The one thing I remember thinking was 'there goes the one person who thought I was 'the prettiest girl in the world'...I felt like I was tied to the earth with a fine thread. When you look back you will have no regrets..for you left no stone unturned...you were there for her. I know you carry a double burden of grief...we all wish we could walk in your front door and share this time with you...for only a parent that has lost a child understands how this added grief can be such a physical and emotional true heart breaker. We are here for you. Please 'self care'...my sympathy for you and yours.

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Wendy, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Kate

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S sorry Wendy you have faced such tragedies take care.

bob Hoosier guy, I hope you come back. We have all suffered our own personal tragedies but found our way to this site for support and understanding. As individuals we are all gonna have different views on religion, political parties, laws, guns etc and that is ok, so lets try and avoid conflicts with each other. If I offended you or hurt your feelings by agreeing that this is a grieving forum I apologise to you. We can all be vulnerable and sensitive at times.

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Wendy,

I am so sorry for your loss.   You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sandy

 

 

 

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Wendy I am so sorry you have lost your mom. Like Susan said I wish we could all walk in your front door hold you while you cry and take care of all the things that have to be attended to. Knowing you have been such a good daughter I hope comforts you, that you were there for her every step of the way.

 

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Mermaid Tears

Gretchen....your little studio makes me excited...we give ourselves a half turn....from looking at the black and bleak horizon....to the sun and light that start gleaming from the cracks in our hearts...my Grama always said...when a woman starts fixing up her nest...she is on the way to healing. (something like that)...I can remember many of her conversations she had with me or her friends...and then I can remember parts of her conversations. Our Baby Veto is still in NICU....he is gaining weight..slow but steady. My daughter is there..to drive Tay back and forth to the hospital...they stay for hours to feed him and hold and rock him. We have no idea when he will be released. George has to fly and Pibby will stay with me...so I can get her to and from school...she is in the 8th grade. It takes the whole family when situations present themselves like this. Years ago...the family lived in one area....that is not the norm now. Am sure Dianne wishes it so, too.

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Mermaid Tears

Thank you, Dianne....they took the tube from his nose...he fed off both breast and took a whole bottle....he is a hungry little boy. If he remains a hungry/steady feeder...and that means the weight gain will be steady...we shall have him home. I told Randa to just take it one day at a time...not to get impatient..slow and steady will win this game. I want him to be at a place where there will be no 'chance' of him having to be re-admitted. He feeds every 3 hours. My daughter is a nurse..so she knows what is going on and what questions to ask...what to look for. Tay is such a combination of my Mother and my daughter in looks. I think it is strange how personalities skip a generation....I am like my Grama...Tay is like me. My daughter and Mom are so alike.

I so hope your family will be able to move to a warmer climate...and that will make it possible for you and your husband to move close to them. I would not take a free house in Wyoming...maybe in the summer !!!

I need to write what she said down....when I am gone...it will be gone with the wind.

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New lives so precious.I love babies but won't be a granny for many years my kids do not want babies until they are in their 30's! veto looks adorable.

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Mermaid Tears

Tommy' Mum.....we have had the blessing of two new little men...to come into our family circle...since losing our John David...we miss him so much...especially at times like this...for he would get very excited over each new nephew or niece....he was the quintessential Uncle...and he would even baby-sit when they were babies...he was very maternal....dirty diapers....bathing...feeding...nothing daunted him. I knew that Randa would be very emotional...that John David would not be by her side when her first granchild was born...he was with her when her children were born. We gather our memories around us...and treasure them.

A picture of John David holding Tay after she was born....priceless....thankful for photos...

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Susan-----thanks for all the pics of your granddaughter and the new baby boy. He's

beautiful.  sending prayers for the little angel.

 

Dee------The ice storms missed us also........they hit south of us. I hope that your

cold with all its symptoms will subside soon, and you'll be back to health.  I know

we have more months of winter, but I dream of spring. ;)

 

Wendy----So sorry for your loss. My mom passed away 7 months ago.

Sending prayers.

 

Laurie----I hope that you are feeling better by now.  As Dee said....it is difficult 

to cope with grief whenever one is also physically ill.  I hope some of the things

you are trying are helping you.  Peace to you.

 

WISHING   PEACE   AND   TRANQUILITY   TO   ALL  INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom,.......Sherry

 

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Tay and Baby look a lot alike Susan, looking at that fabulous UNCLE holding baby Tay, and then scrolling up to Baby Veto...wow! And he looks really good size wise, color too. Taylor looks great, bouncing back as only the young can do.

Dianne, Indeed those prayers are being said by many of us here as well, that you and your Husband land much closer to the Kids, to live in short distance if any from them. Hope is something to keep alive.

Wendy, how are you today? My Mom passed away pretty much a half hour after we left her home...she had been very ill for a long while, when it looked close, I broke down my guard, and went in the house. I had been disowned for 18 years by then, my father was a pedophile, so I did not want my kids there and they disowned me and chalked it up to perhaps I was nuts...nope. So I went for 5 days to sit near her, to remember her,for her to remember me a bit...that last time, she had a lot of morphine, she was not talking nor awake. She left and with her leaving, my lights flickered twice. My sis and I both saw the flicker and wondered and the phone rang. Sure enough, it was the call to tell us taht she had just died. This was a year before my Daughter died. Nothing easy about saying goodbye to those people in your lives that were/are the basis of your heart.

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Hello,

Dianne, don't give up on living close to your children.   We just knew that our daughter Rachel and son in law Jason would never move back to Fort Wayne.   They were well established in his job  and the community they were living in.  But we were very surprised to have them move back this August after 12 years away.    It is special to have them close.

Susan that little boy is beautiful and looks so healthy.   Your Tay is also beautiful.   I am sure that John David was close by when that wonderful baby boy came into this world.   

This crazy weather is so unpredictable, going from cold to warm and back again.   Today it got up to 52 degrees.   Like you Dee, I don't like it.  I would prefer it stay cold like it is supposed to in this part of the country.    It needs to stay cold to kill all of these bugs and viruses that are going around.

Kate, Kelly is doing fair.  Steadily losing ground but still able to be home.  I am thankful for that.   Thank you for asking about him.  Was thinking about you and Ross today and hope your day was a nice one.

Have a good evening all.

Sandy

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Sandy, so sweet that you and Kelly are surrounded by family again. I am happy that Kelly is still able to be home, I know that your job as caretaker as well as working outside the home is  double duty. You are a strong woman, even when you thought that you were not.

Yep, too weird of weather for this to be a true winter...now the rain from two days ago, sits on our garden still as the deeper ground is frozen and can't let it in...likely going to kill some of our perennials...they do great when the ground freezes, snow falls atop, and slowly seeps into the ground when spring comes. This is just crazy. January is the only month in the last many years, that the mid-west has no outdoor allergens, but not this year. January has outdoor allergens due to the strange temperatures and many are experiencing sinus issues with it. Climate deniers be dammed!

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Morning All, I agree with you Dee. We woke up this morning to see that our temps will rise to approximately +2C. I can not believe the difference in temps from this time last week. The animals are beyond confused. I heard on CBC yesterday that Toronto actually cancelled classes due to the icy road conditions. It's anybody's guess as to what each week will bring.

Wendy, you are on my mind today as you go through the planning of your Mom's funeral.  Sending a huge HUG!

Becky, how are you managing?

Gretchen, remember those sneakers? I saw a picture in a fashion magazine from New York. Well, my girl...create. There is money to be made.

Our neighbours have left by the droves for warmer climes. I have never been to Arizona, but it sure seems to be popular.  Thinking of everyone today and hoping you have a peaceful one.

Kate

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new lives are so precious and definitely bring joy to sorrowful hearts.It must bring mixed emotions too. Photos are very valued they are visible memories of special times and should be treasured.

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Kate yeah those are steel toed workbooks lol. The investment in tennis shoes has crossed my mind. I am totally confused about what type and sizes to buy. I have a stockpile of things I have created but never have tried to sell lol. I'm an artist def not a marketer. 

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Mermaid Tears

I am on my 5th year of the grief journey...am thankful for all the parents that helped me to survive...on days I could hardly breathe...

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I went for a lovely dark walk this morning before getting ready for school, it was quiet and peaceful which I needed to quiet the doubt and worries in my head. Sometimes they creep in without my knowing that they are so present and I find I am anxious. Five years Susan, I remember I had t-shirts made for everyone at ERI-FEST that said in Pink letters, 5 years- a long road. With a picture of a long road going toward the horizon. The front said: ERI-FEST-2008. Every 5 years I have a new shirt made...

5 years is a long road Susan, just as 1 day is...we find our steps, we cannot predict them. We are very strong humans.

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Mermaid Tears

so true Dee....there are days that I can be right there...there is no time lapse...other days...it seems surreal that I am where I am on this grief journey...days, weeks, months, years....have passed. Last night I was thinking of January...a time when the earth takes a rest....and we should heed Mother Nature and let ourselves take a rest...let January and February be a time of rest....after the holidays. The holidays were extremely hard...in the midst of the lights and packages with bows and Christmas trees....I felt like I was going 80 miles an hour on a AA battery. I love those shirts....maybe I will create something similar for our Port Aransas Memory trip. A great idea.

Good News....Baby Veto got to go home yesterday....sending some photos of our new little man....very happy that he is home....

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Will you just look at that sweet little man! Tay is looking radiant. I bet she is pleased to be back in her own home. It is so much more relaxing to be in your own environment.

Dee, glad to hear you were able to get out for a refreshing walk before heading off to school. How are you feeling these days?

Dianne, I don't dislike the warmer weather, but it creates another set of problems with icy roads, etc. Having said that...I'm off to the city tomorrow and they are calling for rain and wet snow. I too just walked back in from a terrific walk. The days are now getting longer and can spring be around the corner?

Wendy, thinking of you. I agree with Susan. My own mother died several years ago after several years of illness. It felt odd to know she was no longer with us. It is going to take some time to adjust. You can take comfort in knowing you did everything you could to support her.

Thing of everyone and wishing you peaceful evening. Love, Kate

 

 

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Oh Goodness, that Baby Veto and his sweet smile, looking more like Tay than ever, look at his left cheek, the smile line is so  like his Mom's. Beautiful and home already, that Boy is ready. God Bless, many many goodnesses.

Susan, I will try to attach the picture of the shirt.

Kate, I am feeling much better than I was, the cough is less so now, and while my voice is hoarse in the evening, I have a steady voice in the daytime, which is great. Busy days at school and tomorrow marks the inauguration...I will not be watching, well I will be teaching, but I have no want to watch Trump take the job.

 

 

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In the Uk it has been a mild winter and there are tiny signs that the Spring is slowly arriving. Not soon enough for me I use my SAD lamp every day to get enough light and help my mood. Knowing that the Spring is coming and for all you with grandbabies is proof enough that the circle of life goes on and new beginnings and lives are to be looked forward to even though there is that bittersweet pain of the losses endured.

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JD's Mom, Becky
On 12/30/2016 at 7:16 PM, ericasmom said:

I have no idea where that heading came from, must have hit something wrong...

Hello all, sorry to be away for so long, but I had another eye injection and for days afterwards I just cannot hardly see at all, extremely light sensitive. It is better now as far as pain, but can't yet see a great deal of difference in my sight. For a few days I had what looked like a tiny black spider or fly hanging from my eyebrow. Very disconcerting, as I don't like spiders. I may have as many as four or five more injections to look forward to. I only can hope and pray that it will help. This condition, called DME, is from leaking blood vessels in the back of the eye causing distortion in the central vision, and is most likely related to my being insulin dependent Diabetic. So many of my health issues are.IMG_20170120_124846.jpg this was my eye after the first injection, not as bad on the 2nd one.

 

In my opinion though, my health took a definite downward spiral after losing my baby boy, Jared. The stress and pain is horrible enough without adding to it that he just didn't die, but was killed by someone never charged or even apologetic for her actions, and the duration of harrassment from her towards my family because she knew we sought justice. We have not heard or seen her for about a year now, not since she tried to charge my daughter with various false accusations and my daughter was found not guilty. Hopefully, she will just leave us alone!

I am trying to catch up here with reading, but it's slow going. 

Wendy, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my dad about a year and a half ago, and though not in the same category as losing a child, it is painful. My dad was my 'go to' person, and I miss him a lot. Although I can't physically do anything for my mother, now living alone, I do call her and listen to her and encourage her to talk about him. Like you, Dee, I have had a difficult relationship with my mother. She has done some horrible things to me in my lifetime. I made the decision a long time ago to just let it go and to try to have a relationship. Sometimes it makes me question my decision, when she says certain things that show me her character is really unchanged. I remember showing her the tattoo I had done on my wrist for Jared, her response to it was, "that's gross", as she doesn't believe woman should ever tattoo themselves. 

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Thank you Kate, Dee, and others that have wondered if I was ok, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Susan, that little boy, Veto, is so precious! You have a beautiful family. Here is a new pic of my little grandie, Libby. She's now a month old.

12006.jpeg I wish I could drive and visit with her, but not yet. My daughter, Jasmine, drives me to all my appointments, but she had found a new job, so I don't get out as much now. I am so happy for her to have found  a job and to have met her new boss, who seems to be really fond of Jasmine and appreciates her talents. She will be able to do facials now in addition to manicures and pedicures, and her boss seems excited to explore the potential to sell Jasmine's home made soaps and scrubs, so all very positive developments.

My husband, Jerry, goes next week for a follow-up after having his one kidney removed due to cancer this past September. He's been feeling well, so we hope and pray he continues with good health, as he is now the backbone of our family. 

I too,  hope Bob returns to posting here. How boring would life be if everyone was exactly the same? Opposing views as long as they are not mean spirited, should be welcomed, as it helps us to expand our thinking, and stretch ourselves a bit. 

The weather here has really warmed in the last few days, in the 50s F. Welcomed after the snowy cold weeks for sure. I love to see snow, just no longer like to go out in it.

Jasmine will take me this afternoon to my dentist to continue my plan which will include pulling the remaining five teeth on top and making a denture as my teeth were breaking and falling out due to bone loss. Just had the roots of two broken molars out and have to wait for healing before moving on. I am not liking old age! Turned 62 on the 18th, feel like 82 most days. 

Gretchen, I love your little studio space! That is wonderful! I have not been able to create any new pictures or poems for quite a while. Maybe if my eyesight gets better... One can only hope. 

Much love to all here!

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JD's Mom, Becky
On 12/30/2016 at 7:16 PM, ericasmom said:

 

Everytime I try to post, this same heading comes up??
Here is a link to my online diary for anyone I retested in my grief journey with pictures and poems when I was still able to get on the computer.  
.
 

 

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Mermaid Tears

Becky...our Warrior Mom....eeks.....injections in the eye ? I flinch to even read about it.....but...if it helps with your eyesight...am sure it is worth it. I do hope with the eye treatments...and getting the bad teeth out..(people do not realize how bad teeth can cause serious health issues)...that come this Spring...you will have a re-growth in your health and healing. Your Libby is so feminine...love that name....I have a Granddaughter we call Pibby..(her name is Presli).

I think there must be a very forever hurt...a daughter must carry when her Mother does not cherish and nurture her. Becky, Dee and Dianne....ya'll certainly didn't follow in your Mother's footsteps. I have friends that had horrible parents/home life....some turned out to be the greatest parents, loving and kind....some turned out to be just like their parents. Makes one wonder what makes or breaks the mold. As Essie said...some parents teach their children how not to be.

Tommy's Mum.....those are wise words...aren't we stunned that the world did not stop ? The sun rose...the sun set....Monday followed Sunday....September followed August....our world as we knew it DID stop....and then we lived second to second..day by day...slowly learning to live in our 'new normal'....life does go on...life is for the living. We simply cannot sacrifice our family...our children...our traditions...the jokes we share...because our child died. John David was not the only child I loved...he was the only child that died. No matter....I am not the same...but still a work in progress.

Good news...Tay took Veto to the pediatrician and he gained weight....so ...no trip back to the hospital.

Love that shirt, Dee....I am seriously thinking of having some made...

 

ScreenShot600.jpg

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Right on to that screen shot Susan, and feel free to borrow the picture for your tees. The front was the same font, saying: ERI-fest 2008. In 2013, we did a different shirt, it said, ERI-fest- 2013, and the back said: IT"S A PINK THING!    So glad that Veto is gaining weight.

Becky, wow what ache and pain you have had to withstand, I am sorry, but am praying that these injections will finally solve the vision problem. Until then, can someone install dragonspeak on your computer so that you can speak  your thoughts and have them typed? Little Lily is so pretty, what a lovely little person she is. I am glad for your daughter Becky, she is following her star.

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Becky--------So sorry for your eye infection problems.  Prayers that it will

clear up soon.  Thanks for the pic of your lovely little grandie , Libby.  She is a

beautiful baby.  Also, sending prayers for your husband.  Peace to your whole family.

 

Dee-----glad that you are feeling better.  Hope your voice is back to normal soon.

That's a very nice t-shirt design. 

 

TommysMum------I , so, agree that  after the loss of a dear child, the next day comes

along as usual, and the next month, and the next  year etc.   We  just wonder how this can be,

when our whole world just fell apart, and we're in shock.......especially in those early

times after our angels left this world too soon.  The way the world goes on......the

"business as usual"  way,  is such an affront to the grieving parent.  One wonders

"how can this be"?   It is so surreal that it just defies description.  Somehow, we 

survive....the best way we can.....not easy,  I know.  Wishing you peace & comfort, friend.

 

Susan------Love the pics of sweet little Veto.  He will make the whole family happy.  Babies

have a way of doing that. :)

 

PEACE   &    COMFORT    TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

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Mermaid Tears

there is a lot of healing in those tiny hands....I have been un-cluttering....I decided to give myself a gift....to start the new year off in positive note....I looked around one day in December and realized I needed to update my home. I had not noticed that I had not changed 'anything' since John David passed....not really....and with 2 new additions to our family....I needed to change our photo frames..and re -design my walls. Perk up the home. My great aunt was an Interior Designer..she had a very chic shop in Houston....she told me years and years ago to put some yellow and red in each room....it could be a vase...teapot....flower pot...dish...it did not have to be large...but that would perk up a room. I feel as if my home is brown and grey....in complete image of what my inner spirit feels like. It really isn't...I guess when our way of living seems to be a desperate act of 'just going second to second...day to day....to survive'....we have to let some things go in order to learn to live in our 'new normal'. I also stopped reading books...and books have been such a big part of the fabric of my life...but....for the sake of me....I could no longer sink into the couch or favorite outside chair and fall into a book...like I use to. I would not be able to focus on the words...the story....I would always start thinking of John David..grief would cover me and I would have to get up...breathe...think...get my hands busy. I want to start reading again. I need to clean out closets..pantry...office is organized chaos. I think this will give me a feeling of 'some control'....as all the parents on this site knows...when we lose a child...we discover we really had no control at all in being able to save our child...your inner world/belief system has to be completely over hauled.

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InHeavensKeeping

Hi Diane Thankyou for asking after me  I've been really struggling for the last few months and have been quite ill.  It's all too much isn't it and if you loose your way on this journey it can set you right back to where you started.  I thanked Dee, Sherry and Kate for giving me 'hope' but I just don't seem to be able to hold onto it and end up on this roller coaster being thrown every which way and upside down as well.  

I think the post Diane is brilliant too.  She actually explains the words ' let it go','move on' and 'closure' for what they are to us and how devistating it is to hear them said  I will use and cling to that there doesn't have to be an end and it doesn't mean I'm wrong   Thankyou you for sharing it  

We had one report back for our investigator.  He believes the lorry driver was distracted and can't believe this was not tested by the police. His investigation proves this theory this report has now gone to the Chief Coroner and Police.  So we just have to wait now it could take months for the authorities to reply which is hard for us.  But it feels like things are heading in the right direction. It's just emotionally exhausting.  Laurie Becky I know this was the same for you. 

Thinking of you all everyday and reading which helps so thank you God Bless xxx 

 

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heavens keeping I hope you get answers it does help a little but its all inside you to find your peace.

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