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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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TearsInHeaven

Gretchen-thanks,---- that was kind of how I looked at it when I first read that. Sort of a following in line with the "don't look to far in advance" thought of taking it one day at a time.  If there is a bright day---go with it and embrace it. Baby steps in adjusting to the new normal.

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Dee------Love your writing. Hope you are feeling better now.

 Sending prayers for your friend, Patti, with all she is going through. 

 

Gretchen-----thank you for sharing your pics of your living room,

and for your artistic painting of boots.  So nice.

 

Susan-----I always enjoy your screen shots....thank you for posting them.

 

Dianne----thanks for the article. Yes, I agree.....small steps on this journey

is  a good choice.   It can be overwhelming to look too far ahead. We will

see our angels again......in the meantime,..... they are always close to us.

 

PEACE TO ALL  INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom,    sherry

 

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mermaid tears i love those quotes they speak to me. Sometimes I copy the quotes into a word document and print them out to read over and reflect on esp when its one of those bad difficult days.

Hoosierguy if I can ask what year was your boy Jake murdered and have you seen any justice or progress in solving the case yet? I hope you get custody of Jake's baby or at the very least some access to the baby who is also part of you.

Tobyfreefoot I too had always suffered with depression and anxiety and been medicated for it but when Tommy was killed I fell into that abyss and could not get out. I feel weak that I could not cope or be as supportive to my other kids like I should have. However its 2017 he died Aug 2015 and with intense bereavement counselling I feel I am turning a corner although the progress is slow. It helps to hear how others climb out into the light and start living again and gives me hope that I will eventually get there. I also love your boots i guess its important to find something you love and enjoy the feeling of pleasure you get from doing it whatever it may be.

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God I may have felt good yesterday but I screwed up something with Marshall and it has become a terrible day. Ugh now I hate myself and miss forest and my therapist says i need to let go and i dodon'wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna. Could just lie down and cry myself to sleep

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Bob Thanks. I am not near as new to this as you are. At your stage I was holding it together out of necessity  as I was working as a full time machinist but I was a destroyed mess inside. now on days when things go bad I just have to fall apart for awhile. Sometimes I think I deserve to give in and feel sorry for myself, indulge myself in that grief that is all consuming. I had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized in July (too much holding it together) and am being treated both with chemicals (which I'm not opposed to) and some kind of thing called neurotherapy. But I had a couple weird experiences with this woman who gave me some quite believable messages from my son. All things combined I have been feeling so much better. But seriously I know I just have to reach down and boom there it is.

I have been through lots of early grief and lost a large  number of friends in a short period (my youngest wanted to buy me a t shirt with a dinosaur and the caption-all my friends are dead) but nothing in my life prepared me for this. I have seen that **** happens but I am having a really hard time being ok with this. It just is never gonna be ok. And like you I have other children but forest was the most demonstrative of his love for me and he thought I could do no wrong. We just had a bond so strong. He was from my first marriage and it just had always been forest and I against the world. I have ptsd caused from that officer telling me. I just can't go to that moment without losing my mind. 

It just is f'd up no matter how I look at it and somedays I can't stand it but more days than not now I keep that in check. 

I can remember the drudging feeling trying to pull myself up enough to try to live like my son wanted me to. I see you working hard at that as grief pulls you down. I hope they will find out who murdered your son and hope that they are being very cautious as they proceed. It is so important so as not to screw it up. Where are you? Indiana? Here in Oklahoma I'm sure not many people get the relief that must come when a homocide is solved. I hope there is more competence and less corruption When my daughter was a teen she had a 20 year old friend killed in a very brutal fashion about 4 blocks from our house. He was left in the alley outside his parents' backdoor. Everyone in our small town knew who did it (over $200 worth of pot) but for some odd reason it was never solved. A year later the news paper had a giant headline-WHO KILLED REX TREAT? But the county law is dirty as anyone on the street. He has been dead 10 years now. Ugh you are right **** happens and sometimes it is so ugly and undeserved. It just is what it is but that is hard to accept.

 

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Mermaid Tears

Calling All Angels....

Our amazing GRANDdaughter's due date is February 5th.....

she had to go to the ER yesterday morning with complications...contractions...her Dad left right away...as did a dear family friend...to be by her side...Randa ..my daughter was at work...(she is a nurse)....I got Pibby from school...then Randa, Hunter Bear...(her twin)...and Pibby left for League City...

I am not going into detail....there has many multiple sonograms...tests....the baby is in distress...

I did not go because I have this horrible 'crud-cold-congestion'....I should not be around people....this has been a long night....

Fight hard our Beautiful..Beloved Baby Boy....

this photo was taken on Sunday of my girl....

Pray hard...

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Mermaid Tears

Update.....she was taken for emergency C-section..due to irregular heartbeat and very slow heartbeat.....'He' is born....will give details later....

thank you for the prayers....

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Breathe Susan. You are through the first dangerous part. Breathe and pull up for whatever struggles are before your family . we are here and praying everything is going well

 

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Bob-yeah you got the term I've struggled for. Closest child. Not favorite because truly I can't name a favorite but he def was the closest and I miss that so much. 

Oklahoma, I love it here but god does our state stay near the bottom of the list of every reasonable reform. We really rank among the worst in nearly every category. Bleh.  Glad to hear other parts of the country are moving forward.

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Oh Susan, my heart to you and prayers for the Momma and precious Baby Love. He is born. He has come. Now God and all of our Angels, please let this little person be able to handle the stresses of being born early and let the doctors know just what is needed to give him good health. Please God, we pray this as we hold our dear Susan and her Family close.

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Mermaid Tears

thank you for the prayers....what a nightmare....they started all sorts of tests...yesterday....last night a Dr. came in the room and told the family that there was indications of Down Syndrome...and Gestational Diabetes...of course...my daughter and family were blindsided with the news...after the whole pregnancy had absolutely no problems...I was here..and all I could do is try to calm Randa....there was many prayers...lots of tears...a fitful sleepless night....I finally said a prayer that went like this...'It is in God's Hands...we are the perfect family to receive a 'Special Child' with our love and care to give that little one'.....this morning due to irregular heartbeat and it getting very slow...they rushed her in for an emergency C-section.....he is healthy...had to stay in pediatric ICU due to stress...but he is fine. Our new little Mommie is simply worn out...thank you all for the prayers....

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Oh Susan, he is Gorgeous, those big hands of his, right in his mouth, finding his skills at sucking. God Bless little man with so big a name. God bless you all, and axtra special prayers that Taylor heals and gets some deep rest. She will need to really take it easy if she can. Oh Leonardo, your pretty self is so loved and when Great Grammy is feeling well, she will whisper family stories to fill your life. You are part of something good and big; a force of unity.

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Oh Susan, what a trying time you have all had. God Bless your new little man and family. He's a beauty. Sending warm wishes for a good recovery. Take care of your cold.

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Mermaid Tears

I thank each of you...from my heart....I feel such a connection to the parents on this site...that have reached out to help me through the most shattered part of my life...I can't help but want each of you to be a part of a 'miracle' in my life...our baby is still in NICU....they put Tay in a wheelchair and wheeled her in...to see/touch that baby boy....he turned to her when she spoke...of course. I do wish I could be there..but...I have this 'crud-cold-congestion'....it is a strange 'illness' for sure. But I will get better if I 'fold my wings' and let Mother Nature and Father Time heal me. I went out to my back yard...in the evening...it is now 78 degrees...it was 22 degrees a couple of days ago...such a soft evening....and the sky was cerulean blue and the clouds were like cotton candy...a certain kind of fushia...and there in the sky was the full moon....I have gone between having melt downs...to having down on my knees gratitude...I know I am sleep deprived. Yes Dee....I, too, saw those big hands...I remembered you talking about your girl and her big hands....isn't it something that we connect at such levels of remembering. I will give an update tomorrow on how he is doing. My Randa is simply stretched so thin....of course...I could not be there...but she knows I should not be there. Thinking of all of you.

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Congratulations Susan.  He is a beautiful baby.    Prayers for all of you to get some good rest tonight.

Sandy

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Susan I am so glad everything is so well. He IS beautiful!! And the fifth! Is that what I read? 

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Susan, dare I say that the colors of that sky were for your heart to hold onto the magic...and dare I also say, that the photo shows me a little dude with his Momma's nose; the photo of the three of them is gorgeous.Relief is spread into their faces. May the NICU find this Child healthy and able in every way.

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Susan, keep us posted as to how your little wee one is doing today and his Momma! The picture is lovely.

Gretchen, I wanted to say how awesome your sneakers are. Dee was right in that you could sell them.

Bob, our firearms regulations are similar to yours with the exception that we are not allowed to have handguns. In rural areas many people own registered guns for hunting. How did the chili turn out? Jeff was into all hot sauces and anything that burned the lining in your stomach.

Sherry, hope our cold weather has not headed your way yet.

Georgina, I see you are getting a blast of old winter as well.

Becky, how are you feeling today?

Take care everyone and stay warm!

Kate

 

 

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Susan-----Congratulations and prayers for the arrival of this beautiful new little boy. So glad that the

baby is healthy. Your granddaughter must be so tired.....it's a lot to go through with a

C-section. Hope she gets lots of rest. Also,  hope that you get over your cold.  There will

be happy times ahead for you and the whole big family to love & dote on this sweet little newcomer.

God bless him, and everyone in the family.

 

Kate------It was quite cold last week, but now has turned warm now.  A little of a back & forth weather,

and I see on the news that the local hospitals are packed with flu victims.  This sometimes happens 

when the weather swings erratically from cold to warm. :(   I've been busy cleaning closets and doing

oil painting and reading to pass the winter months.  Have you found time for your pastimes?   Also,

how is your husband doing?  Sending prayers. 

 

Dee--------How are you surviving this erratic weather?

 

WISHING  PEACE   AND  COMFORT  TO  ALL  INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry

 

 

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Mermaid Tears

thank each of you for the kind words and congratulations....and yes..Gretchen...he is the 5th to inherit the family name....they are going to call him Veto...that will certainly be a new name for our family. The news today is that they had to give him a feeding tube last night...just one time...since then...he has been given feedings from his Mommie and bottle...he is still in NICU.....there still needs to be stabilization of sugar issues...the Dr. said all is 100% fine and healthy....he will have to be weaned from the glucose IV drip. Family has been able to go and hold and hold that new little man....this is Uncle Hunter Bear..(Taylor's twin brother) holding him...no news of when he will be out of NICU....we will take it one day at a time....I did get a good night's sleep....feeling about 50% today....getting better.

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I bet a good night's sleep after that tremendous amount of fear lifted has helped a lot Susan. On your way to being able to hold that precious bundle. Veto is a fun different name. I like it.

Here is a horrible pic my husband took of me climbing out of my newly fixed up loft.

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InHeavensKeeping

Sorry I'm not well at the moment but just wanted to say to Susan beautiful baby, lovely family picture so glad all turned out well. God Bless 

Kate were meant to have snow tomorrow I'm not sure we will though it's too mild. 

Im reading your posts everyday without which I'd be so lost. Take care everyone 

God Bless xxx

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Congrats Susan...beautiful new life.

I do miss you all and I think of this place almost daily.   Yes, Bob, our plans change...don't they.  So did the plans of every parent, sister, brother..etc that has witnessed the death of their child.

Each one of us has taken a different road to get to the same place.  I cannot say my family is fully-functioning, but we have found our new life without Brians physical presence.  However, our Brian is part of our new life.  Most of the times are good memories of him.  But around the holidays, Birthday and Angel day, the pain still comes.  My very soul hurts.

I attribute my journey to the other parents here who walked before me.  They showed me that I could live again.

love to you all.

Colleen, Brians Mom forever 

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Susan, what a pretty picture of Hunter Bear with Vito-Veto? Which spelling?

I have been hit with this silly cold too, very congested and have had no and I mean NO VOICE For three days now. Laryngitis. Yes, I teach even when I have it, though would heal faster if I did not. I have had too many special meetings this week to take off, and tomorrow is our field trip that I arrange each year, to the Art Institute with 115 third graders. So no rest for the wicked. I felt horrid on Saturday and not great on Sunday and Monday and the voice went but I am not feeling badly.

So I agree with you Sherry, when the weather goes nuts like it has, back and forth, it is cause of many illness. Laryngitis is rampant around my neck of the woods, the virus attacking the vocal chords and I am a pushover for it, getting it way too often. I look like a crazy mime when I teach while voiceless. We get it done though, and we have fun.

Gretchen, not a horrid photo, a fun one though.

Georgina what's up? Are you ill? Are you going to be okay?

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Ricky's mom , Wendy

Don't have much time.  Mom has gone downhill and is now on hospice.  Maddox is doing great and getting bigger each day.  I'm literally losing my mind.  My therapist says I'm Pandora's box that is about to explode.  I'm just hanging by a thread.  I pray for death every night and get mad when I wake each morning.  I'm too lazy to do it myself and besides, a girl always wants to die pretty.  Sharing a few pics.  The one with the tree is what we made for Ricky this year.  I miss him sooooo much! 

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Good Grief...it sounds as if several of you are under the weather. Take it easy and self care...That's an order! Don't know about any of you... but post Xmas sends me into a downward spiral. A general blah feeling to be honest. Our weather has been the pits. Cold with far too much snow. Most of my neighbours are either in Texas, Arizona, or Florida. So, things are pretty quiet around this neck of the woods. Spoke to my son in Calgary today and they are calling for temps of upwards of +14C. shortly. As they head up to Banff or Lake Louise every weekend to ski I imagine the road conditions for driving will be dicey.

Sherry, thanks for asking after Ross. He is doing quite well and plugging along as per his usual self. Today was his birthday and we had a quiet evening. We will go out and celebrate over the weekend. I am doing pretty much the same as you. Can't believe how quickly the days pass. His sister called from Dayton today and mentioned that your weather was actually quite warm. Her husband retires within the year and they are moving back to Vancouver Island for retirement. Beautiful spot to spend those lazy days.

Wendy, goodness...quite the set of lungs on that little one. Sorry to hear that things are not going well right now. Hang on with both hands.

Dee, hope you are feeling better soon.

Gretchen, thanks for sharing your pics. I always enjoy hearing what you are up to. Again, love those sneakers. 

Colleen, my goodness...good to hear from you. It is a huge help to those new to this journey to see that there is indeed peace after the initial stages wear off.

Sandy, how is Kelly doing?

I simply could not sleep tonight and thought I would get up to look outside. There is a light snow falling and there were a couple of deer quietly eating at our bird feeders. My they are such graceful and gentle creatures.  Get well everyone.

 

Kate

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Full Moon Bob, it can twist us up too in addition to the already twisted parts we have.

Raining ice here, those weather patterns don't help.

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Blah days, we all have them. I find my mind is empty, my tears run dry for now, I am an empty well. I pass the time doing nothing, not able to concentrate or function, not able to leave the house or talk to anyone. I spend ages playing bubbleshooter a totally mindless game shooting at coloured bubbles, getting a quiet satisfaction in annihilating them out of existence. But then there are better days, days where I get things done, leave the house, cook, function again, the trick is to survive the blah days and know there are better days out there.

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Mermaid Tears

Been reading......I do believe it is very normal to have those 'blah' days....those down days....when nothing gets done...when one doesn't want to get anything done. Maybe our 'spirit' does need us to rest. A time to fold our wings. We have to realize on a deeper level that we are not super humans. I had to 'cocoon'....and I had to get acquainted with this new me....this kind of grief does change you. I still have not re-joined my organizations ...not because I don't believe in their visions or creeds or what they do to help our community...I still support all of them...I had to re-route my energy back to myself...'self care' and give myself time...a lot of time...for healing. In this age of instant gratification..instant communication...I think the world expects instant healing...closure...getting over it...moving on. I needed to let myself slow down..and that is not hard when our world changed in a nano second. We can read 100's of books about grief but each of us will travel the grief journey in a unique way as unique as our relationship to our child.

Bob...I think you are very wise in your decision to keep your distance of the  Mother/Step Dad of your grandson as long as they have been labeled suspects in your son's murder. They could create a lot of chaos and maybe make charges about you...all untrue...to deflect their guilt. Let the police/detectives do their work. You do not need any more drama in your life right now....you have enough on your plate now and this should be a time to honor your mourning and to 'self care'.

Wendy....our hearts break for you. You are really in a Shadow Lands now. A place where the sun does not shine. You want to make a break for it and run and run and run. That is normal. How many 1,000's of times I wanted to run away...but my logical mind would rise up and I knew I just wanted to get away from the hurt and pain. You have been such a helper/friend/daughter/comforter to your Mom.....I was in a place like yours with my Mom...as painful as that place was...I now look back and I am so glad I was there for her. I was not having to carry the grief of losing my boy...and watch her as she slipped away...so I know you are going through a very highly charged dark part of your life. There is nothing easy in this but hospice can make your Mama very comfortable and help you carry that burden. Do you have any other family around you ? Aunts - Uncles - cousins ? I do so hope you have family/friends to support you and yours. We are here for you.

Dee....hope you get your voice back soon....I actually washed my hair yesterday and ran some errands...and found out we have lots of 'sick' people in our community....I have not had a cold in 6 years....am getting better. I am hoping I will be 100% this Saturday so I can go and meet our new little man in person. I will make sure I am really over it all. I talked to Tay last night and they were wheeling her into the ICU to allow her to breastfeed Veto for the first time. There will be many firsts for my girl.

Gretchen....your photo brought a big smile to my heart....love your little 'Studio'.....I think it will be a win/win for you and your creative spirit.

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Bob, enjoy your outing. Hope those women don't irritate you too much.

Sherry,  forgot to mention that Ross's eyesight has improved 100% since his eye surgery a couple of months ago. The transplant worked beautifully. Wish I could say the same. I am now sporting glasses full time. I opted for glasses over contacts as I'm not patient enough to fuss with the darned things. Also, I have been pouring over a Proven Winner catalogue on the new ides for container planting for upcoming spring. Some beautiful new combinations.

Tommy's Mom...I see much of myself in you several years ago. You are definitely working hard at putting that foot in front of the other. It does take time and a huge amount of energy. Those down days will happen. Give yourself credit for the days you pick up and move forward. It is like moving a concrete wall.

We are now given notice of an extreme cold alert for the day. Oh goody, guess we will have to stay put. Mercedes Benz AMG will be holding a winter sporting event on the frozen lake in a week. It was previously held in Sweden and involves a three-day program of racing and speed while driving on the lake. Perhaps it would be a good way for me to burn off some steam.:D 

 

Re: Blah days...just not feeling at all well these days. Not sleeping well and off to see the Doc yet another time tomorrow. That darned surgery and the following complications have caused a series of other health issues. I know the feeling of being caught between a rock and a hard place while looking after our aging family members. Been there...done that. Many times. Trouble is...it has taken a huge toll on our health. The reason that taking care to look after yourself is essential. Live life while you can.

Take care everyone and hope those that are under the weather are feeling better soon.

 

Kate

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Mermaid Tears

Kate....you would be the one that can really empathize with Wendy on such a higher level than most of us....you were dealing with grief..and taking care of your terminally ill MIL.....and so many more challenges...uphill for many years. All that stress can lead to many health issues. I do hope you can find some healing from the complications from your surgery. I think at our age we just have to give it more time. I am with you on the contacts....I prefer glasses. Jeremy sent photos of his snow storm ...in Oregon...we have sunshine and 80 degrees here in South Texas.

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Mermaid Tears

It should not be a surprise that in Texas...how many citizens 'carry'....it is the norm here.

There is sacred truth in 'when you give...you receive'....

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Sorry to hear things are so difficult. Hope they get the guy who did this. 

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 Over my lifetime I have had the opportunity to travel many, many times to numerous States. I have never felt the need to carry a gun for protection. I have always been treated with the utmost of respect and courtesy. I hope this new change coming to your country will not set you back. Walls not only keep people out... they also keep them in.  Maybe we'll be next...who knows. This is not a forum for gun control discussion. This is a grief forum.

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Kate----glad to hear that your husband's sight is so improved.  Sorry that

you have not had the same result.  I had surgery a few years ago for cataracts, and

had implants put in.. the Dr told me at the time that I might still need reading glasses....

which is the case.....especially with bi-focal sight. Other than that.....I am lucky that

I had good results.  The winter sporting event in your area should give you a lift from

some of the winter doldrums. :)

 

TommysMum-------Yes, I agree with you.......we all have our blah days and

 'blue'  days too.   I guess that we just have to ride  them through......no choice,

really.

 

Dee-------Hope you are getting better.   The wide swings in the weather is causing

many people to have colds/flu.  Take care. We had a LOT of rain here in the past

day or so.   Much flooding.  The pastures in the nearby valley look like a lake.....

nowhere for the water to go.....the ground is saturated. :(

 

Bob-------Yikes.....Be Careful.

 

PEACE   AND TRANQUILITY   TO  ALL   INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry  

 

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Well I  do agree Bob, that when we lose someone to something...we become much more aware of that 'thing' that took our Kids. I have become hyper-aware of train deaths, but this many years later, I don't panic like I used to when I hear about a train death but I definitely feel it. Illinois has many train deaths, adn Erica was killed in Michigan which have had their share as well.

As far as gun issues, I feel that the gun laws in our country have been lax. I hate that there is a conceal and carry law, (sorry Bob) but I hate that folks can have a right to drive with a gun, walk around with a gun, go to the friggin market carrying a gun. In Chicago, the gun violence is very very bad...I rarely go to the city that I love anymore because the random shooting and violence is record breaking...Over 740 deaths due to shootings in 2016: chicago wins the horrid name of most violent city in USA. So what is the answer? I don't know, I know that a man robbed my son two years after I lost my Daughter, holding a 9mm to my Boy's head, and later the man died when a police barricade was set up and he slammed into it in his getaway car...got out and raised his gun at police. The cops shot him. My son's wallet and id in the dead man's pocket. I hate guns. I have a friend that used one to end his life, and My Daughter was present at an apartment when a young man pulled out a gun to play Russian Roulette...one boy died, Erica saw. Erica saw and lost a piece of her innocence from what she witnessed, a young boy lay dead and a few minutes prior, Erica was complimenting his artwork. So I hate guns, and I don't feel that arming citizens makes us safer. If teachers were required to be armed, which some townships in this country are planning, I would have to quit. I will not hold a gun.

So we just have to respect that there is no right or wrong answer in this debate, just a difference of opinion.

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HEY, where is everyone? Bob, I saw the news today about that guy that was beating the cop on the road, so I can absolutely see the good points about arming citizens when something like this occurs, I am sure the cop being beaten is relieved by it, and his family...like I said, no right or wrong....it''s an opinion.

 

How is Baby and Mom today Susan?

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Tommy's mum you are following my path exactly the way things unfolded for me. Hours and hours of mindless 3 in a row games and some bubblepop. Then I would have a good day where I could cook or wash dishes,something that made me feel a little normal and productive.

Bob staying away so as not to somehow mess with investigation or put yourself in harm's way is a good idea for now.

Kate we have many beautiful sights to see. I live way out in the country where everyone has a gun but me. I have lived in town in a bad neighborhood where everyonr had guns but me. I have never ever needed one.

Dee I just want to thank you for keeping this forum alive. You take the time from your life to respond to each of us and it means so much to be heard. Big hugs and heartfelt thanks 

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Mermaid Tears

for the past 3 months...I have felt like I am always 2 weeks behind....

Update....Baby Veto is still in NICU....all is fine....blood..sugar...great. He is a 'lazy feeder'....and that happens when they are born a little early...as soon as he gains some weight....then has steady weight gain...steady feedings...he will be going home. The nurses are wonderful with Tay....she is going home today...I think. That was the last update last night. I am feeling 'good enough' today....and hope to go tomorrow to have my first Nonnie visit with our new little man....if not..for sure Sunday. I feel great in the AM....and then spiral down in the PM....I don't think I am contagious...but they are very, very strict about who can visit...and I do appreciate that.

  Randa brought Hunter Bear and Pibby home....college and school doesn't quit for new babies...she came over last night and she was very emotional...we discussed that John David was with her for all 4 kids at birth...it was strange for her not to have him there. I knew before she started talking about it what she was feeling. Randa has been stretched thin....George is still there with Tay and Leo. Sometimes as parents....we know how our children are grieving for their brother/sister. They look to us for understanding and that word or words that can 'kiss it and make it ok'. We sometimes find ourselves in a situation where we can't find the right words...we can just give hugs and pet them with our love.

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InHeavensKeeping

Hi I too just want to thank you Dee for keeping me going. It does help to have someone to listen that understands. Also Sherry, Kate Susan Gretchen, Colleen , Wendy, Laurie and Diane thank you all you have given me so much to cling to over the last few months.

I haven't been very well but kept going, most days very agitated my heart feels like it's racing full of dread I can't explain it but I've definitely been struggling and not coping. My blood pressure has been raised and I'm now on Meds to control it but the doctor said I need less stress in my life !!

We are waiting a reply from the police and the Chief Coroner to Persue a case against the driver.  We had a private investigator who feels the driver was distracted and gas got away with murder  I feel so scared.  

Thank you for all your kind words and caring about me. Diane I love the words really made me think xx 

Gid Bless xxx

 

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InHeavensKeeping

Oh I thought I would share this Xx

"It’s these moments—these moments when life feels so very close to being absolutely perfect, almost maddeningly close—that I am stunned, again, by how absolutely imperfect, how irrevocably and horribly wrong it all is."
 
 
 

 

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WOW! Well thank you for your love and care for each other, it is what I have found to be a loving  community, to be joined in similarity while respecting all the differences. The good news is that once we have a day that had some tiny fragments of feeling a bit better, or a bit more normal...means that it will happen again, and then more and you will be able to grow that aspect into your lives. Like building a house where none of the old tools work,  somehow, we develop tnew tools that work for us. WE fashion them from our losses and develop them from our committment to shining the light of our Babies. Home...takes on a whole new meaning as it becomes a whole new place.

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Mermaid Tears

Yes Dee....am grateful that you and Sherry...and others decided to stay on this site...to reach out to the parents that need that kind of care and compassion...for this kind of grief. Many of us do not have a circle of friends that has lost a child...and we find ourselves in a different universe. It is so true..it takes one to know one.

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I agree with Jeff'smom this is a grief forum sorry Hoosierguy. I think we need to be mindful that other parents have lost their child to gun violence or gun suicide, and it is such an emotive subject, so perhaps just keep our musings to the topic in hand? We are here to support each other mindfully not annoy or upset people who are already damaged by their experiences. Respectfully thanking you.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Thanks to all who mentioned me. I am just a bit under the weather right now...took today and just rested. I have been trying different things in line of self-care, like meditation, looking at natural health products, and using essential oils. I try for the distractions but lately it just doesn't seem to work, and I find myself so tired.

Georgina, prayers for your quest for justice...

Susan, post a pic of the **newcomer** when you can..

Dianne thanks for the mention.

Kate, hope you are staying warm, it was 1 degree here.

I think of you all, and send gentle thoughts. May you have sweet dreams and a restful night. 

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Laurie, I hope that you will regain your strength soon. This cold/virus has had me in its grips for over a week now, many symptoms. Many kids at school germy too. When we are not feeling well physically, so much harder to take care of our emotional health, one supports the other and effects the other. And so I wish you a calm in your spirit and a return to feeling well. Are you still working two jobs? How is your Grandboy? How is your Daughter doing?

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Mermaid Tears

Our new little man is doing great....but...he needs to gain some weight...a steady weight gain....and until then...he will be in NICU....our latest photos...our Sweet and Strong Mama...and new Aggie...Baby Veto...

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