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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Dianne....Georgina----Lora-----Dee-----Susan-------Thank you, one and all  for the lovely

tributes for Lisa's  Angel Day.   I appreciate these messages so very much,

as no one in my family remembers the day......and after so many years, it's

very understandable that they wouldn't.   Thanks again, and peace and blessings to

each  one in the Bi  family  

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Georgina-----Sending prayers for the success of the skin treatments. Also for the

writing about grieving parents of a beloved deceased child.  So very true.  It

would be so beneficial if those who have contact with a bereaved parent could

somehow read these directives, but most likely they would not have done so,

and often say the wrong or hurtful things.

 

Lora-----Beautiful message,....thanks.  (wish I could be more adept at making these

lovely graphic designs....but never learned the skill).:(

 

Dianne----Thinking of you in the days leading up to sweet Michael's Angel Day. 

Hold on, friend....we're here for you.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

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Mermaid Tears

Lora....I know that Sherry cherishes that photo....

1. Four years on I get up every day with the exact same sadness I had the day Ella died.

The only difference is I’m more skilled at hiding it and I’m much more used to the agony of my broken heart. The shock has somewhat lessened, but I do still find myself thinking I can’t believe this happened. I thought that only happened to other people. You asked how I was in the beginning yet you stopped, why? Where did you get the information on what week or month was good to stop asking?

 

this really spoke to me....I am four years on the grief journey and this is exactly my life....

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JD's Mom, Becky

Maryann, I hope your sweet angel son visited with you on his angeldate. We all know how hard these dates are, and am sending you hugs!

Sherry, you are on my mind as we remember your sweet baby Lisa, a beautiful angel in heaven. 

Kate, so glad your hubby is recovering from his surgery. I'm still on drops to try to fix the problem with my retina. And if not may have to do shots or surgery. 

I bought our new kitty, Raja, a toy, as he is so mischievous and always getting into something. Here he is playing with it and our older cat, Nora happy getting into the packing box the toy came in!

IMG_20161116_132908.jpg10053.jpeg

Then here is Raja after about two hours of play! Worn out!!

IMG_20161116_165224.jpg

Thinking of and praying for all of us.

 

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hello my dear Indigo friends, I know it it has been quite a while since I stopped in to say hello. To those new to this site I am so so very sorry that you find yourself here but as you have found out there are wonderful people here to help us on our journey. My name is Betsy and my son is Rich. It will be almost 8 years ago that Rich grew wings and soared to the heavens. fine people here saved me and  stood by me through all my ups and downs and craziness. And for that I am so grateful. As Dee once said the sharp edges do get softer over time but our love only grows stronger for our children. I still have days where I feel a jab of pain but I have learned how to go through it. I've learned coping skills. I am using my phone right now. I seem to drop them all the time. This is the third phone in just as many months. So I can't respond to everyone because I'm 56 years old and my eyesight is failing. I'm glad I could say that. to everyone that knows a little  if my family,Sarah is doing great she still lives in New York City and she's still in the educational field. I've met some new people. I've let some other people go. And I reunited with some people. I asked them for understanding in the way that I've acted during these past few years. My new friends and my old friends understand how difficult it has been. And for being bitter at times they forgave me. I hope to stop back more often. It was nice seeing you it was nice seeing baby Lisa and the other beautiful children on the site. I'm sorry if this is one big run on sentence but it's the best I can do. Take care of yourselves.

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InHeavensKeeping

Really missing James tonight I thought I'd share this xx God Bless X 

 

 

 

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BETSY!!!How very nice to see you tonight, coming to us as we close in on Thanksgiving. I am grateful that you found your way to this site again. Tellus where you are living these days, you have been a traveler. Are you settled in somewhere that gives you views of rivers/hills/birds? So glad that Sarah is still in the city and teaching. Good for her. I have 2 more years after this year is up...I am having my hardest school year ever! Too much top-down bull going on, and way too many very high paid administrators. Crazy. So I have been in trouble for saying what I think, three times this school year already. Can't lie, learned when Erica died that I don't have time for lies, I won't add more negativity to the conversation through lies, but oh, I do know how to get into trouble just by naming the truth.. Funny that when we just state the truth, the facts, it makes many people very uncomfortable. That makes me very suspicious of those in charge adn what their motives are. Betsy, good for you communicating through your phone...tiny print, too tiny for my eyes.

Love to All

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InHeavensKeeping

Diane  I too am going through the agony of 'what ifs' and 'Why' it would only of taking a split second to change the outcome it kills me to think of this and I too wish it had. 

I'm trying to arrange something for his birthday but  nones interested and it's breaking my heart over and over again and again. I don't know how to cope with this it's hard enough just facing the day and all it brings. I'm scared because I think it could make me really ill because I just can't take any more. 

Sherry I thought exactly the same as you and Diane when I read the article that it's not us that need to read it but our Family and friends around us I thought about posting it on Facebook but it's too long and they just wouldn't read it.  

Dee I'm sorry Schools tough at the moment but I admire that you stand up for what you believe I wish I was strong like you but I'm not I get bullied at my school but that's another story. I just hope things improve for you Dee 

Becky Thankyou for sharing the pics of your cats  they really cute I love animals and have got so much comfort from mine too xx

im going to the Road Peace World Day of Rememberence for Road Traffic Victims again this year.  I will pray for all our Angels and all of you. God Bless xxxx

 

 
View this email in your browser
d93a756e-f02d-4b36-b463-17da9757232d.png
RoadPeace
The national charity for road crash victims
Dear friend

Commemorate the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims with us this Sunday 20th November.


This Sunday bereaved families, politicians, and representatives from the emergency services will gather to honour road crash victims in services to mark the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims at services and events taking place throughout the UK, co-ordinated by RoadPeace. We hope you are able to join with others in support and solidarity of this important global day of remembrance for crash victims.
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Becky-------thanks for the sentiment for Lisa's Angel day.  Also, I love the

pics of your kitties  Raja, and Nora......so very cute....and the gray one looks like the kitty I

used to have....and also the one I have now (Daisy Mae "Mousie") :)  Cats are great pets, aren't they? 

 

Betsy-----Hello.  so good to see your post, and thanks for remembering Lisa's Angel day.  So good

to hear that Sara is doing well and involved in education in NY.  How have you been?......miss seeing

you on BI, and glad that you posted.  Peace to you.

 

Dee------Sorry to hear about the problems at school.  I know that, already......Becky sees situations

like yours,....in a way.  It's very soon for her, but I guess it happens all over.  She said  "If they'd just

leave the teachers alone to teach the kids".   My friend who lives out west (now retired) told of the same

crap going on at her school. She taught at the same system her whole teaching career, but now

enjoying her retirement.  Yes....I agree....many times a person will step on toes whenever they just

speak up and tell the truth.:(

 

PEACE   AND   COMFORT   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom------Sherry 

 

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Yes Sherry, Iove teaching my kids, i love finding creative ways to teach, but so much is not being jammed into our school lives, required by teachers robbing the kids of good instruction.

It makes me sad Georgina that you are feeling bullied at school, what is going on there? If I could, I would make sure that you wre never mistreated.

 

 

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InHeavensKeeping

Hi Dee it's the story of my life nothing goes right for me. I've worked at the school for 20 years I've trained to become an HLTA (higher level teaching assitant) but was not given the pay for this role then I was trained as an ELSA (emotional Literacy support assitant) and I've be working in this role for four years now and not paid for this either. When I asked for the pay rise in July my SENCO said " you can either leave, stay on and not do ELSA or do it for the job satisfaction" and that I'll never get the pay for that role. With everything that is going on in my life that moment almost made me give up I drove away from school and thought what's the point it was such a low point for me.  My life's just so hard Dee if I was paid properly we would cope better instead of this struggle. I feel overwhelmed and just so down. I thought what have I achieved in my life we don't own a house we don't own a car I can't get on in my job and I've lost two beUtiful Sons.  It's hard at these times to think of the positives and I know there are some but you get swamped and lost. 

I've had to accept it all but with all this on top of this grief I'm just at the end.  I think that's why the lady that counsels me doesn't want yo stop at the moment. I think. 

Thank you for caring it means so much xxxx

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InHeavensKeeping

I thought I'd share this xx

The Compassionate Friends

0345 123 2304 helpline
0288 77 88 016 NI helpline | helpline@tcf.org.uk
 
 
 
 

COPING WITH CHRISTMAS

coping-with-christmas-300.jpg

When your child has died, Christmas can be unbearably difficult. The whole world seems to celebrating, everybody appears to be obsessed with preparations, which seem to go on for weeks. These confront us at every turn –in shops and streets, on TV, radio, in magazines and on the web and social media. We often feel alienated, isolated by our grief.

As we contemplate Christmas –especially in the early years of our bereavement - we wonder how we will survive. It is normal for parents to feel they just want to ’cancel’ Christmas. It is a time to be with family, and the enormous gap left by the death of our child is intensified. Christmas cannot be the same as it was because our family is not the same – not complete. If this is the first year, it will be painfully different from previous years. We may find the anticipation and stress of what we ‘should’ be doing very hard to deal with. Do we decorate the tree, send cards, give presents, attend a place of worship, join in the festive meal, go to a family party? For younger children especially, do we continue with important traditions of trips to the shops, the decorations, a pantomime, and a visit to see Father Christmas? Many bereaved parents find the run up to Christmas – with all the accompanying anticipation– can be more difficult to cope with than the actual day itself.

We hope that some of the ideas below might help and support you as you prepare for the holiday season…

  • Don’t allow other people to dictate to you how you should get through this extremely difficult time of year. Don’t feel you have to go to the office party or festivities with friends/extended family if you can’t cope with them.
  • Sometimes we don’t know what we will feel like doing until the last minute. Don’t feel you have to have a plan. Tell people you will decide on the day and you will come if you feel up to it, but may well not be able to.
  • Let close friends/family know that you are struggling and need to be able to talk about your child at this important family time.

  • Tell people that you need to have your child acknowledged by others at Christmas - to see their name in a Christmas card or to remember them with a toast during the Christmas meal means so much, but many people would be scared of doing this unless you tell them.

  • Within the family try to talk to each other, about how you are feeling, or what you all might want to do. Thinking and talking together can help us to prepare ourselves for Christmas, and sometimes when these plans do go right, the day can bring surprising comfort to us.

  • If you have young children in the family be aware that they might wish for Christmas to carry on as before – although this can be enormously painful for you, for surviving children the normality of Christmas celebrations can be a comfort

  • For parents who have lost their only child or all of their children, Christmas can be an especially painful, particularly so if there are no grandchildren. Christmas is generally recognised as a family time and for parents without surviving children this can be extremely hard to bear. For such parents it can be difficult being with other families at Christmas and yet the alternative - being alone - can be equally hard to bear. Whatever these parents choose to do, it is vital that their child or children are remembered.

  • Some people don’t send cards at Christmas any more. Others like to include their child’s name – for example - “Love from X x and x and always remembering xx”. You can also ask others to include a similar sentiment on any cards they send you. A small gesture which can really lift our hearts.

  • Don’t put too much stress on yourself. If there are difficult relations who expect to visit or for you to visit them, just say you can’t do it this year if it’s going to make you feel worse. Or introduce a time limit - “We’ll come over for a quick drink but will only stay an hour.”

  • Develop a Christmas ritual involving your child – attend a candle lighting service with other bereaved parents; spend time at a special memorial place on your own or with others; make or buy a special card or decoration for your child.

  • Spend time with people who understand. Avoid those who don’t.

  • On the day itself, make time for yourself to escape if things are too much. A walk outside can really help ease tensions. Or take yourself off for a long warm bath.

  • If you can’t cope with the idea of Christmas at all, go away and do something completely different. (Be aware, though, that sometimes being away from supportive friends or family can be more difficult and the jollity of strangers may be painful)

  • Volunteer for a charity helping the homeless or elderly over Christmas. This can be some small distraction and you are doing good too.

  • Try to take some gentle exercise every day - really helps boost those much needed endorphins.

  • Be aware that the New Year celebrations can also be difficult. The coming of a new year can feel like we are moving ‘further away’ from our child and the celebrations of others, wishing us a ‘Happy New Year’, can intensify our yearning and grief. We can feel isolated from the celebrations and happiness of others. Acknowledge these feelings to yourself and others close to you, and perhaps plan the evening of December 31st – whether that is to be alone, or with close, understanding friends who will allow you to be yourself and remember your child at this poignant time of year.

After the death of our child, the Christmas holidays will have shadow, a yearning for what might have been, an added poignancy. However, we do survive these days, difficult as they are. What matters is that, as far as possible, you are able to do whatever feels right for you, and eventually be able to carry the loving memory of your child with you into future Christmas-times.

The Compassionate Friends National Helpline 
will be open during the Christmas period

0345 123 2304

(10 am – 4 pm, 7 pm- 10 pm every day).

The booklet 'Coping With Christmas'  (with the information above) is available to download and print.

Some useful links are also below:

Ideas for Christmas by Mary Hartley, TCF Librarian

6 Ways To Celebrate The Holidays Without Your Child

Handling The Holidays by Darcie Sims

Surviving The Holidays After the Death of Someone We Love

Coping With Special Occasions

 

 

 

 

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My angel is a boyfriend who died 31 years ago, and I am here because I need a mother's wisdom.

His mother has been on my heart since the spring, when I looked at the calendar and realized it was his 60th birthday (he died at 29).  I thought to send her a card, but I did not want to risk being inappropriate.

Full disclosure: I was not the girl his mother wanted him to marry. I knew it then, and I never was sure myself if we were on that path...he was from an upper class family and I doubted I could live their lifestyle with any comfort.  Regardless, my angel was the kindest, most genuine person I have ever dated.  He felt the same way about me, and it's odd but we broke up (a year before his death) out of a sense of mutual respect and honesty. 

Also, I learned recently (okay, I Googled it) but her husband, my angel's father, died last year. 

My question is whether or not it would be appropriate to contact her after all this time (almost 30 years.)  If anyone has some words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate it. Please be honest.

Thank you.

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HannahM, I think that it is not a question of appropriateness, rather a sense of honoring a day and the parent who lost someone so very dear. Most any of us here would gladly read a note recognizing a date to be so very agonizing for a parent, it is a comfort when others remember. Your own heart may need this too, a way to honor your lovely man of so long ago. Grief is a forever thing.

Georgina, I am sad that the school takes such advantage of you. I think that it is awful that they don't pay what they said that they would pay. Is there a contract of any sort stating what they were to pay you? I know that you are holding down the fort as we say, trying to make the money in which to live, but it seems against any rules of employment to not have the raise you trained and worked for. I am certainly holding you close.

Dianne, the winds are blowing hard here too, the warmth is going away now, and in many ways I welcome the freeze to get rid of the allergens in the air. But I also like the cold weather, not when it is below 0, but 22-35 is quite nice for me. God bless as we all face the hustle adn bustle that the season will expect. Remember, we can change the way we do holidays, we must do what feels best in a time that feels so very different.

 

Prayers please for a fellow third grade teacher from a different Oak Park School: her Daughter died this week from a rare and fast moving cancer. She was a senior in high school. Lord knows what she must bare now.

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Lora, I was thinking of you not long ago. The last time I was here you were in the middle of moving. I see Cara's pictures in my mind still. Such a beautiful girl. 

Dee, my little girl is 30 years old now. She is a strong and independent woman.Sarah is teaching and Consulting. I do hear of testing, testing , testing and the disconnect with admin. About 2 years ago Sarah called in tears. She is a tough woman so I knew something terrible had happened. As you know some children need a more specialized classroom . well, one little boy, she was struggling with. Very disruptive. Sarah was removing him from the class and he slammed the big, wooden classroom door on her hand. The 2 inch thick type of door. She was in a lot of pain. I asked if she reported this and she said she had , but no one seemed to care. She cares so much for her students and it was heartbreaking that she was alone in this situation. No one cared for her. She has since moved on.

I had a nice surprise on day when I logged into FB. A picture of Rich that I never saw before. Rich on far right, Dan His childhood friend  next. the boy that he had a falling-out with right before he died. But it was nice to see the picture reminds me of an album cover .

Dee, mountain view. not entirely pleased with the situation but tomorrow's another day.

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_318216985816153.jpeg

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Georgina-----I'm so sorry for all your troubles....on top of your

deep grief of losing your beloved son, James.  The school is

definitely not being fair, and it is so distressing that they are

so easily dismissing your concerns and rights.  Sending thoughts

and prayers that this can be resolved in a better way.  Peace to you.

 

Betsy-----Sorry to hear of Sara's bad experience with the student.  It

sounds as though the child needs therapy for anger control.  Sometimes,

the media seems to glorify bad behavior and violence...and kids pick up

on it and lack self-control in schools and elsewhere.  I'm appalled that

the administration did not care about this incident.  It's sad, and only

serves to perpetuate bad behavior.  Recently, in our area.......a high school

student hit a  man teacher age 69, and knocked him to the floor.  This was

at a high school for students who were at risk for dropping out, or had behavior

issues.  The case is ongoing at this point.  What is the answer to all these school

troubles???   More parental involvement would be a good place to start, I think.

 

Dee-----Sending prayers up for the teacher whose dear daughter died recently.

Getting colder here too.......spitting snow today, but it isn't sticking yet.

 

HannahM-------I agree with Dee, that to a parent of a lost child........it is definitely

a comfort when someone remembers that child. It may give your boyfriend's

mother a lot of comfort to know that you remembered after all these years.  It

is kind of you to consider contacting her.  Whether she responds or not......she

will know that you remembered her son, and your sympathy for the death of

her husband.  If she doesn't respond......you still know that you did a kindness

which is really special.  Peace to you in whatever you decide.

 

PEACE   AND   TRANQUILITY   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

 

 

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Sherry, Dee and Lora,

Many thanks for the encouragement in writing to my angel's mother.  I plan to mail her a note on Monday.

You are all a brave and generous lot.  I have read through the posts here (e.g., what to say and not to say to a grieving parent) and it really helps.

Peace and blessings,

HannahM

 

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Lora, so good to see Cara's smile today, it is gloomy here though that smile sends sun rays through to my heart. Love that we were joined in our writing times, our Girls are giglling aren't they?

Betsy, yep indeed, a gift of gigantic proportions, that photo. I have had a few that I had never seen until a year ago, I kind of drop to my knees as I witness a moment in time- that was captured long ago. And yes, tomorrow is another day, good view but perhaps a change on the horizon for other reasons. I am glad that your Sarah has found her way, the door incident is appalling but an everyday happening in many city schools. Lack of resources where they are most needed. Goodness knows education is on its head right now, and it needs to be shifted for sure.

Sherry, no snow for us but 45 mile per hour winds...whoosh! Temps in the 30's now. We are going to babysit in a little while.

Thanks for the prayers for the sweet teacher who lost her precious One. Oh Lord it aches to know that she has to travel this complicated road..when it is time, I will invite her here to be among some of the dearest moms and dads I have ever known. Mom is Evette.

Hannah, you do that and know that the note you write touches us all, it as though you are honoring all of our Babies. I am glad you had a wonderful man to love.

Listening to Eddie Vedder and crying, his voice and words do that to me.

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InHeavensKeeping

Thank you Sherry and Dee for your support  X 

Beautiful words xxx

 

 

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plays the strings of my heart...cannot stay...cannot say.

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Georgina, I also agree with number 1 on your article. Live that every day. I say to myself often "This is not my life". But it is.

I took my own advice and sat in the whirl pool at the local hotel and did my stretches. It did seem to help and the hotel attendant told me to come back again as I told him it was for pain relief.

Becky, thanks for sharing pics of the kitty...pets can be so helpful with their unconditional love.

Betsy, so good to see your post with your son Rich.

Lora, thanks for sharing the lovely pic of baby Lisa.

Dee, sorry to hear that about the administration...often they are out of touch with what is needed for the kids.

Sherry, thinking of you this Angelversary of your sweet baby Lisa.

Thinking of everyone here tonight.

 

 

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Lora, I was thinking of Cara when the announcement in our district of the teacher who lost her 18 year old Daughter...she had turned 18 just two weeks before she died, battling a cancer that came so fast. God bless Maya and her Momma Evette.

Yes Lora, I am pretty sure that Eri and Cara are laughing, and now a whole tribe of young ones who sing and laugh and dance to the sounds of our love.

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Perfectly edgy Lora, for this time period and ours Lora...great album cover. Very cleverly done.

Sherry, went for a walk in the woods today with my husband, who does not go out to walk very often, so that was nice. The November skies were blue as can be for a while, and the colors of the scrub grasses and leaf cover on the ground were beautiful.

 

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Lora, that is so cool! Thank you. I e-mailed it to myself and will share and see if I can print it out for framing. 

My family has lived in New Jersey for a couple of hundred of years now. In one area in particular. And when I looked at that photo of Richard and his friends I made the correct guess as to where it was taken. Just a little patch of Woods back there that the kids use for four wheeling and dirt bike riding. I suppose the township thought they should put up the barrier to keep the kids out but we all know the kids just drive around it.

Dee, I had a larger phone which I enjoyed using more than this one. I always clean my screens with a little alcohol. Well my larger phone didn't care for the alcohol and went berserk. I realized this when I couldn't answer a phone call. The next day I couldn't hang up the phone calls. If I wanted to go back to my email account I had to restart the entire phone. I don't know if it's ever going to come back to its usefulness but having a larger phone sure helps

Becky, Justice for Jared. I joined your Crusade and when I see someone attempting to text while driving I start with..." My friend's son"... They get the message. 

 Sherry, I believe I heard about the teacher in your area that was knocked out by the student. Unfortunately things like this happen way too often and they shouldn't happen at all. I've missed your writings of your daily life on the farm. I guess now  is the time of year to  hunker down and keep warm?

 Tears in Heaven, I still find myself in the vortex of what ifs. I have found no answers there. A fine lady that used to visit this site advised me one time that when I get into that thought process to hold up a stop sign in my mind. I still find myself reaching for that stop sign.

 Sarah attended school with two young ladies from kindergarten to graduation. They were twins.Dana developed a drug problem in around 11 through 12 grade. I always thought that as I watched her progress through the years that she was okay. She married and had a child. I always got along with Dana's mother. It wasn't the type of relationship where we would visit each other and sit down and have a cup of coffee but we always seemed to click. I was in at 7:11 one day and she was in there as well and she came up to me and said she didn't like what my daughter had said to her daughter. I respected that. I went home and had a little talk with my Sarah and that was the end of that problem. If we could all just talk a little bit more to each other. Unfortunately Dana passed away a couple of months ago. I'm not exactly sure what happened but that doesn't matter does it. I still crawl under my rock and after Dana died that was one time I just shut the phone's off and stayed by myself for a couple of days. People don't seem to realize how hard the death of another child hits us at times. Dana's sister was married a couple of weeks ago and  Sarah was in the wedding. And I sit back and think of their mother and father and the wide range of emotions that they're going through at this time. When I'm back in town I'm going to stop in and see the mother.

 well that's enough for now I suppose. We had a little snow yesterday. And that Canada wind is blowing on down to the valley. Peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Betsy, I have a hard enough time texting my sisters that I could never provide a whole post from my phone...my fat fingers and my waning eyesight don't make for a smooth typist. My sisters call me SENDOG because one of my texts actually said Sendog instead of something that would make sense...probably sending. We laugh. Will you be in NYC for Thanksgiving?
 Do you stay in contact with any of our old-group? I do believe it was Carol who spoke of putting up the STOP sign or Colleen. Good advice from those who know.

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JD's Mom, Becky

John_F._Kennedy_48545.png

53 years ago today, our country lost President John F. Kennedy. Do you remember where you were when this sad news broke?

 

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Laura-----thank you for the lovely remembrance for Lisa's Angel day.  I believe

that you work in computer graphics field.....(do I remember right?) :)  You are so

talented in designing lovely graphics.

Betsy-----Yes---that was a terrible thing where the 6 ft. student assaulted a

smaller man teacher who was 69 yrs. old.....very sad. Sorry to hear of the death

of Sara's close friend. So sad for her parents  & family. Crops are all harvested

now, so it's a clear view back to the woods.  Time of year to just keep warm, read,

and enjoy the winter.

Dee----Thanks for the Pearl Jam song.   This is Becky's favorite group, and she

visited Chicago not too long ago to attend their concert.  (we babysat the boys):rolleyes:

Yes....it's great to have a day when you can just get out and walk. Denny and I

will be taking walks back to the woods now that the harvesting is done, and 

everything is down.....clear path for walking. Enjoy those sweet little grandies!

 

Georgina------Thanks for sending us that nice song.  Hope that you are doing a bit better.

Becky------Thank you for posting the pic of JFK in Remembrance.  What a great president

and humanitarian he was.  Wish I could say the same about the present .  :unsure2:

 

PEACE  AND COMFORT   TO  ALL   INDIGOS.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

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Wishing everyone a peaceful Thanksgiving 

as if November isn't bad enough already Steve Died in November ,my sister died in November and today a good friend of mine Z.  died suddenly this morning.She had a daughter who died as an infant many years ago ,at least they are together now.

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MaryAnn, I am so sorry that November holds so much pain and ache for you, with todays' addition of your friend. Goodness I am just so sorry. Holding you in my prayers. May Z be with her child and may peace be hers.

Becky, I remember being in second grade, it was afternoon, our principal got on the loud-speaker and told us all to walk home, that the President has been shot, and that we need to go home. I remember being so confused...so sad too, and when I got home, My mom and auntie were sitting on the ugly green couch, weeping.

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Dee, I use voice to text. Many times I have to go back and correct for example your name. When I address you as D that's exactly how it is typed out. And a lot of coffee in the morning.

Sherry, I had my fair share of tomatoes and zucchini this summer. I'm a bit of the Tomato snob having heard all my life that the tomatoes from my home state are the best in the world. And they are but I enjoyed some tasty Tomatoes this summer. A local farmer just pulled up his pickup truck next to the post office and sold produce. It looked like a father-son and every once in awhile a couple of women. The eldest of the men pretty much just sat back in the shade.

I do have a Facebook account so I do see Lynn, Marcia, Betty every once in awhile, Carol, Trudi, Colleen, and a couple others. We don't stay in constant contact however I've noticed they're there if you should be having a bad day. Good people.

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Mermaid Tears

My computer has been in a off/on mode...and I have been stretched thin with a lot of 'busy-ness'....I just read some of the last postings....

tomorrow is Thanksgiving...and I am comforted in that I 'know' each of you on this site....I know that someone somewhere...has that longing in their heart...holding the memories of past holidays when the family circle was not broken....finding ways to cope...and carry on...and bring healing to their family. We are so brave. Will come back later....am scared my computer will turn off so will write more later.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Betsy, thank you for honoring my son, Jared (JD), by sharing my story with those who would text and drive. These types of death are so preventable. 

Today I commented on a post regarding the school bus crash in Tennessee, which from all reports was also totally preventable. Five young lives lost. And many more injured because it would seem the driver chose to speed! Thank God, at least they seem to be doing a thorough investigation.

Yesterday, there was a report that the mother of the 24 year old driver had stated that " it was all God's will".

I commented:

Many parents have commented how they cannot imagine how these parents feel, and you're right, unless you have experienced the sudden tragic loss of a child at the hands of another, You cannot possibly imagine. . So don't tell them, "call me if you need anything", they are too hurt, too shocked, too much in pain to know what they need! Pray for them, for God's comfort, and BE THERE for them! Help them prepare a meal, or take them a meal, help them get through their days or nights, be a shoulder to cry on, and DO NOT tell them their child's death is all a part of God's plan! God does not plan for innocent children to be be horribly injured or killed! This was at the hands of someone who was careless or inattentive, and oftentimes under the influence! Death is from the enemy! God does not prevent our free will to choose. He is there with open, loving arms to bring these young ones into paradise. Use your energies to honor those lives lost by letting your voice be heard against careless and distracted driving, against impaired driving, and do your part to make this a bit safer world for our children.

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AMEN to your comment Becky. God did not take our KIDS! Rather God provides that next place.

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To those new here and those old-timers too, a reminder of how it feels for us:

Missing From the Table

 

Warm lights pour  outdoors

From the well lit dining room within where they gather-

Around a large table,

Laughter is heard

And everyone is smiling-

I am a voyeur.

And from the wet pavement

I walk with my memories-

Remembering our warm lights and the clatter of silverware-

The faces and the laughter

Around our large family –

 

But now a void,

an empty chair,

She is missing from the table.

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JD's Mom, Becky

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Missing you, my precious son, Jared (JD). our 6th Thanksgiving without you... Omg, how is that even possible?

I think I made this picture in 2013, before I started having all the health problems. 

Dee, thank you for the poem , so poignant.

 
 

 

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Mermaid Tears

Thank you for the poem, Dee...and Becky...I don't know if I have words...but you and I share this grief journey....

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mermaid tears that second quote spoke to me it is so true you want to go back. back to happier times back to hopes for the future back to family celebrations and happy xmases. back to normal.

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Ricky's mom , Wendy

I just want everyone to know that you are thought of today and everyday.  May you be blessed with great memories of your angel's ! 

This is our first thanksgiving without Ricky.  I know he is watching from above but it doesn't ease the pain.  I'm so tired of all these first that I just want to sleep the rest of this first year without Ricky away.  

I pray you all have friends and loved ones to wrapped love and understanding around you on this day! 

Peace to all indigos 

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Mermaid Tears

So many are having their first Thanksgiving without their loved one...prayers sent.

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Mermaidtears and Rickysmom I hope you are ok this Thanksgiving. The firsts are the worst but each year is desperately sad no matter how long ago you lost your child. that empty chair picture is so powerful and also beautiful. it is sometimes so hard to see the blessings we do have because of what we have lost but they are there none the less. each one of us is irrevocably changed by our tragedy but that does not mean we are broken forever.

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Hold on with both hands and your hearts, broken pieces and all...somehow we are supposed to be right where we are. Breathe.

I am thankful for all that I have known and all that I have in my heart now and each day...all of you and your Angels.

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