Loss of an Adult Child

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Colleen, thinking of you today, as your precious boy would have been 25!! I know that just seems impossible. Happy Birthday in heaven, Brian! Sure was good to see your smiling face posted by Laurie!! 

I have had a rough few days after attending the funeral last week for the young man who had been in our football program years earlier. He was just 18 when he was struck from behind as he rode his bike only a half mile from his home where his mom was waiting for him. Both of his parents were glad we came, and that we remembered him. We know how important remembering is to a grieving parent, so it was important to me to let her know I understood and was available to talk to whenever. I will get in touch with her whether or not she calls me first. We know how that goes, people will say to grieving parents, "call me if you need anything", but seldom will we call anyone as we don't want to be a burden.

Christle, I must have missed your post. I am so sorry for the loss of your son, in such a horrific way. I lost my fifteen year old son, almost five years ago, to an inattentive and possibly impaired driver as my son was skateboarding towards home only 1/4 mile from our driveway. We never heard an apology from the woman that hit him, and no justice whatsoever. It was a very hard pill to swallow. Not that justice will take the pain away, but I just felt my son deserved justice. He was a beautiful soul, and sadly missed by our family and many friends. I hope you will continue to reach out to this group, as there are so many caring people here that are so willing to help you. 

I don't know why, but when even little things go wrong lately, I just feel like I want to scream and cry. I have pretty much held it in, not wanting to add to my daughter's or husband's misery, but I'm really feeling angry the last few days. I mostly take it out on the telemarketers that call with some vacation deal, or pain cream, or whatever! First off, they never pronounce my name correctly! My name is Rebecca, Becky to my friends, and these callers ask for Reeeeebahka. I have been very blunt with more than one, one week I even told them don't call anymore because Reeeeebahka was dead! Then after I hung up, I thought to myself, I shouldn't have said that, that I might be tempting fate! lol ! Does anyone else have these short fuse issues? I have always tried to be nice to people, sometimes to a fault, but anymore, I  don't know about me!

Love to all!

 

[Shannon-Trista'sMom]

Colleen, I had it in my head to be sure and log in to leave a message for you and for Brian but somehow the day got away from me. I hope the day was filled with sweet memories of Brian. When I try to imagine our children in their new place I see Brian as the one to make everyone laugh, full of fun, keeping them all on their toes. He was just four years older than Tris and I think of Brian and your family so often this time of year with our dates so close together.

And Dee, with Eri’s dates… I think I may have missed it… when is Eri-fest scheduled for?

Sherry, We do have a lot of cats! We had plenty of our own but we have acquired a few too. A neighbor told me someone who lived in the holler moved and left behind over ten cats. A few neighbors put out food and since we have outdoor cats too, we get a lot of visitors to the food bowl. I try to always remember to put it in at night to keep away the unwanted visitors… usually raccoons… but the other night I forgot. I woke up at 3 am because the dogs were going crazy and looked out to see a huge possum on the porch. It was the first time I’ve ever seen one! They are a little creepy looking especially when you’re have  asleep and not expecting it.

Just a quick check in… Things have been busy. We are getting ready to put in a pool… just a small above ground. The boys had a choice... a bigger vacation or smaller camping trips and a pool. They chose the pool.

I woke up today with a heavy heart. Missing my girl. I know when I come here and read the words y’all have written I can always feel less alone.

Thinking of you all today.

[Mermaid Tears]

Becky...I love the poem....let your answering machine do the work as far as answering to telemarketers...and use your anger as a catalyst...to burn away the bad. I think anger can cause many health issues if it grows and grows. You write so very well...use that gift. I remember when the ducks came and I thought you could write a great children's book...you even have the photos. Many on this site can write...put it all out there !!!!

Shannon....above ground pools have come a long way ....I saw one and there was a very attractive deck built all around it....I thought...I would do that....I have always had....HAD....to have a pool...now all my adult children have pools also...we just have to have water. Everyone in the family know that they inherited that 'must have' from me. If we ever moved and I needed to put in another pool...I would go with an above ground and have that amazing deck all around. You and the boys will get so much enjoyment with it.

 

[Christle]

Does anyone else have problems with focus?  My attention span seems to be that of a 2 year old these days.  I have problems following full conversations and I am normally not like that at all.  Is this a symptom of grief or am I losing it all together? 

[Mermaid Tears]

Christle....no...you are not losing it.....when I 'found' this site....I realized...I wasn't going crazy....I was just in deep, deep mourning. You are early on the grief journey...and please....just don't try and over think it....this is not the time to be stoic or a martyr...this is a time to bend into this kind of grief. My 'thinking' is still very erratic...I go from 'that was then...this is now' in a nano second. I feel as if I live with one foot in the 'before' and the other foot in the 'now'....I still feel very unbalanced some moments...some days. More later...

[ericasmom]

Christie, that is a symptom of grief, as well as the shorter attention span and the lack of wait-time before we lose it when someone bugs us...all of these have to do with our nervous system being shocked and altered, we have suffered a gigantic shock, it changes the chemicals in our bodies/brains, and we do change from it. We have to find our weak spots and either learn to strengthen those reactions, or teach those around us that this is part and parcel to this new being; deal with it. At theearly stages like yourself, these reactions and inability to focus are new to you so you are not even prepared for them, but eventually you will kind of figure out what sets you off and learn to avoid those things. Not easy but you are okay...

Laurie, lovely photo and saying and Becky, yet another lovely poem. Georgiana I worry about your health so please get some rest after your travels. Leah, you have been going through a very hard time, when you say that you get to still live there...is your husband threatening to kick you out? I say if he wants out, he gets to leave, the property should be in both of your names and you are the caretaker of the children...stands to reason that you stay until the youngest is on his/her own.

Anyone know how Gretchen is after her last posts that were so ominous? I am worried about her.

[Donnah]

Hi all, it's been awhile since I've posted. It's been 6 1/2 months since Dylan's passing. We continue to fight the fight with the medical profession to stop more people suffering as we are suffering losing a loved one. Whilst they don't acknowledge wrong doing they have made and are making changes. http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/82006618/MidCentral-looks-to-improve-clot-treatments-following-mans-death?cid=app-iPad

ive been working on my grieving and read widely on living after loss. I've read a lot of psychic medium books and am trying really hard to let go of my anger and spend my time honouring Dylan and living the best possible life I can in his memory. 

We've just returned from a family holiday to Australia. We went hump back whale watching which was amazing and while out there were two amazing feather clouds above us.

while in Australia Levi had a portrait of his brother tattooed on is arm and Stu had a tribute to Dylan as did everyone but me as I was unwell so am yet to get mine done. 

We are making plans for Dylan's Angel date and a party to honour Dylan and our year of living for him. 

Sending you all healing

Donna xx

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thinking of you Dee. Sending gentle thoughts.

Erica, from 1998

 

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thanks to all who shared pics.

Donnah, what a beautiful tribute to your son, Dylan. The one tattoo is just amazing how detailed it is. The getaway to Australia sounds like it was what you all needed to gain some strength back, sometimes a little distance helps. At least it does me.

Susan, thanks for the writings you post.

Becky, the poem was very touching, thanks for posting it today, I appreciated the words you wrote.

Thinking of everyone. Real rest can be elusive these days and nights but wishing all a peaceful night.

[ericasmom]

Laurie Dear, thank you for posting a photo with your sweet words, wishes. I am pondering going to bed, wondering if sleep will be sweet or tangled. It has been tangled all week, not unusual for this holy week of Eri's leaving. Thank you.

Donnah, I will read tomorrow the attachment, so glad that things are at least changing due to the mistakes made in your Son's medical care. Sometimes the justice we seek is in small steps, but those steps lead to more steps...and so on. Those first steps made, would not have even begun without what you did by putting pressure on the doctors and hospital. Good for you Donnah. I love the tattoos as well, so defined. I don't have one even though about 80 people went out to get one while my Daughter lay dying during those 6 days. Almost all of her friends had the Chines symbols for Laughing Girl, or Girl who loves to laugh, with her initials EER.

Sherry, that rain should be in Ohio by now, we had some big storms blow through here at dinnertime. I hope you get a good soaking as I know how hard it is on the plants to go for a long dry time. We had a rainbow this evening too, it was lovely and I could not help but say, " Erica!"

I hope everyone gets some rest tonight, deep rest.

[Ricky's mom , Wendy]

Well, tomorrow marks the 3 mth of Ricky leaving this earthly world and it's my birthday.  Really feeling anxious about it.  I know he would've taken me out to eat or something and I'm home alone.  I'm going to go spend some time at his cross.  I'm drained! I really hate all of the "firsts" without him.  

[TearsInHeaven]

x

 

 

 

[TearsInHeaven]

x

[Christle]

1 hour ago, Ricky's mom , Wendy said:

I'm so sorry Wendy.  I wish there was more I could say but that seems to be the only thing anyone can say.

 

 

[Ricky's mom , Wendy]

Thank you so much! That is how I've been making it! One day at a time! It sucks, but this it what I've been dealt with in life, so this shall not break me! Peace and Love to all!

[ericasmom]

Thank you for remembering Erica's leaving day. A poem I wrote last evening, the eve of her last day-

The Girl with the dreads walks along the streets with us, but I only get to see her shadow,

She is not flesh like us, she is spirit,

She flies with the wind and skates without blades,

She sings like rain and laughs like a blue jay,

She knocks pine cones from oaks and peels the bark from Sycamores,

 She shines like a star and spins like a planet,

And she loves us like a Daughter does,

 a Sister,

an Auntie,

a Niece,

a Cousin,

a Friend –

The Girl with the dreads loves us deeply.

 

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....I 'read, hear' that poem as a Mama knowing her baby girl is somewhere near...on another level....another plane of time...in another universal room...that first photo is one of my very favorites...a child trying to console the Mama....your shaft of light...when you so needed to have a sign from Eri that she was 'ok'...and when I saw that photo it gave me such hope...we are all with you as you go through this day...I can only hope we can help you as you have helped so many walk this grief journey....

[Guest]

Dee, I think of Erica often as I do many of the children on this site.  When I see someone with dreads or when Jared is wearing the Eri Fest shirt are just a few of the examples when I think of her and you.  So many of you and your children are part of my daily life.  Today I remember Erica and the many memories and pictures you have shared with us.  <3   #Family

[ericasmom]

Susan and Laurie and Dianne and Lora, wow! what lovely tributes to My Girl. Thank you so so much. I am off to the cemetery to sit for a while with my journal and my heart. I am so very touched by your wonderful photos and words...thank you. thank you.

Little Sprite

 

 

Where did you go in that moment?

Removed as you were from your body, that later, lay in wait for all to come-

and as a little sprite, a tinker-bell of sorts,

you sat nearby-hoping somehow, that someone could put you back in your body again-

make your life continue still-

keep the plans you were excited by-

be that girl who fell in love-

laugh with your many wonderful friends-

I know you did not want to be knocked out of your life-

you were probably afraid and sad-

and when you saw all of us Sweet Girl-

when you heard the sobbing,

 did we scare you even more-

driving home the reality that nobody could fit you back into your life.

Oh but we so wish we could have.

[Mermaid Tears]

Donnah....the tattoos are amazing....will post what my GRANDdaughter did....

also....one day in my back yard I looked up and saw some beautiful clouds...will share...

[rlolheiser]

Thinking today of you Dee.. and your beautiful angel.  Erica...  so very loved...  so very missed... 

[InHeavensKeeping]

Erica an Angel in Heaven let you mum see your shining light today.

God Bless you Dee in my heart and prayers xx

 

[ericasmom]

Thanks Georgina and Leah too for the thoughts...I sat at the cemetery and wrote in my journal and drew in my tablet...I met a Momma there, watering her plants in front of a very large standing stone. I saw the dates and realized that the person she is grieving was 15 when she died...cancer. We talked and she got choked up some, I said please let your tears free, they won't scare me away. Her young Son stood there and I said, " you lost your Sister and that really is so hard, she wants you to live your best life though, she wants you to stand where she no longer can and do good things in the world. But she also wants you to cry, to let it out, letting it out makes more room inside of you for the goodness.They hugged me and I went home. I got to see the Little Ones later in the day, and had a moment with my Son for a deep hug. All I know is I am so glad to know my Erica, to have her deeply embedded in my spirit and in my heart is golden.

Peace and love to All,

Oh Donnah and Susan, LOVE THE CLOUD PHOTOS.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Dee, your poems are beautiful! I thought of you  and wished I could spirit myself to go with you to her resting place! We are all so very appreciative of your sharing your journey with all of us.

Susan, I loved the cloud pics, wish I could still use my computer to create pics from them, but hands just won't work right, and is frustrating to even try. Meds for the neuropathy do help the pain, but make me want to sleep forever. 

Dee, I too am concerned for Gretchen, wish she would check in, and pray she is ok.

The terror attacks in France again just are sickening! What is our world to become. Everyday I just expect Jesus to put an end to all this suffering!

 

[ericasmom]

Becky, thanks for your sweet words.  I absolutely agree with you on the sad events in France, I am fairly speechless as I try to fathom the act of such dire hatred/madness. How does one find a way to kill so horrendously and how can we change this kind of illness/unrest? I pray to our Angels to help us and direct us to find ways to upend the hurters, help us understand the hurt inside them to make them able to hurt others.

:Prayers for peace, as Ben Franklin said: There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Prayers for you Becky, to find your health getting better...

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....you went there for a reason....and you were the answer to their going there....no coincidence that you found each other....I know 100% that you consoled that Mother and Son....and you gave their hearts such solace...just as you do here for all of us everyday. What timing this Universe has. Your day sounded mellow...melancholy...and yet...the grateful heart that you have your Eri. I feel the same about John David....even though this grief is so heavy and dark at times...I still am grateful that I had my John David. I would not trade this grief even if someone said they could wipe him out of my life from birth and I would have no recall. I will take my John David and my grief. No exchange.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Wendy, the first birthday without your son is so very tough...I basically hid away that day. I still don't celebrate my birthday, just not in me to I guess. Sending gentle thoughts. 

Susan, thanks for sharing the cloud pics. The one almost looks like there is an angel in it. 

Becky, I too send prayers on Gretchen's behalf. 

Georgina, how are you feeling, I know there were some health struggles going on. Let us know.

Dee, thanks for sharing the story of going to your girl's resting place. The last time I went to Jesse I too met a family. They wanted to know how to care of a gravesite stone. I never imagined myself as "being an expert" in that field...

I am going to share a link to a woman's blog I often read. She is also further out in the grief journey. In this particular post, she mentions the secondary losses that many endure. Here is the link https://onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com/2016/07/10/the-high-cost-of-losing-a-child/

Sherry, thinking of you today also. The finches are coming in full force by us as we have a bunch of thistles that are seeding out. Not good to have thistles but the birds love the seeds. 

[Sholl1955]

Thinking of you all.    I am really tired tonight, so don't have  alot to say but wanted to stop by.

Have a restful night and a nice weekend.

Sandy

[Steve s mom]

Tomorrow is a Steves birthday 

every year I think it will get better.it never does

[ericasmom]

Sandy, so good to see you yesterday, I hope you wake up feeling refreshed.

Laurie, yes, timing was good to meet this woman and her Boy. Thanks for the link.

MaryAnn, the dates pull on us in ways that make us feel so alone and so vulnerable...remember that Steve's Birth is a great happening in your life, a date that brought Him to You...I know for many here, our Children's birthdays are the hardest...so we gather in a circle around you and hold Steven up to the light of day, and thank Heavens for his being here.

[daveydow1]

HAPPY    HEAVENLY   BIRTHDAY.....STEVE...... AN   ANGEL.

Thinking of you, MaryAnn, as another birthday for Steve comes around.  Dates

that are wrapped in sorrow and regret. May his spirit warm your heart. Peace to you.  

 

ERICA..........ERICA..........ERI...........SWEET  GIRL WITH DREADS, AND A FREE SPIRIT TO MATCH.

REMEMBERING YOU.   SMILE DOWN ON YOUR MAMA AND FAMILY FROM YOUR  PINK home IN THE CLOUDS.

 

Dee---Sorry that I missed ERi's   Angel Day., but wishing you a warmth from her lovely spirit, now and always. 

Just love the poems you wrote...such wonderful words & feeling goes into your poetry.  It's surely a gift, and from the heart.

 

Love all of the beautiful sentiments posted for  ERI......Wish I could be more adept at posting those lovely graphics & screenshots,

but never  really got onto that skill.

 

PEACE  &   COMFORT   TO   ALL   INDIGOS.  

[Mermaid Tears]

Maryanne....we hope you can gather your spent spirit...your broken heart....in this day of remembrance...and find a circle of caring family and friends to help you get through this day. I agree....it just doesn't get any easier.

[ericasmom]

Sherry your wishes for us on Eri's dates are heartfelt...I can't do all the wonderful graphics and photo editing that others here are so talented at, but it sure is pretty. I love your wishes right next to those wishes. Thank you for your kind words about my poems, they spill forward at times and I try to capture just what I was feeling, often though, they come to me while I am walking or the words won't quite gel in the way I was feeling the emotions, but sometimes I hit it the way I had hoped. Those are the ones I post.

Love to all on an absolutely beautiful day. Tomorrow is ERI-Fest. Pray that we do not get rain tomorrow please, at least not until 9:00 or so in the night..Yard party with anywhere from 60-90 folks coming.  I have already made the black bean salad, the pasta salad, tomorrow I will make the fruit salad and tonight I will bake the s'mores bars and the blueberry/peach cobblers. Yum. I went to the Italian Store this morning and bought 35 lbs. of beef and 10 loaves of bread...Should be great, plus almost everyone that comes brings a dish to share...pot-luck at its best. When folks ask, what can I bring, I ask that they bring something that they either love to make or love to eat.

[Steve s mom]

Today Sunday July 17 th at 122 pm is Steves birthday ( forever 29)

i tried to post a collage of some of his birthday parties but it didn't photograph too well.the majority of them were Winnie the Pooh themed ,no matter what his age .

We Love You and miss you Steve .You will never be forgotten.

thank you everyone for your kind words .

[TearsInHeaven]

x

 

[Mermaid Tears]

Love that collage Maryanne..I guess because the 'shock suit' doesn't fit quite as tight...I have had small...tiny...portals opening up...bringing an instant memory of John David as a young child/boy/teenager.......they come in random...erratic...times and places...sometimes I am emotionally stable to hold them...other times it just knocks all the breath from me....

I guess in this 4th year....I am still trying to hold it all together....not moving on....trying to move forward...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Mary Ann, saw this poem today and thought of your Steve's kindness to animals. My son, Jesse loved his cat Betty. Animals play a special role to us I believe. Shortly before my son passed, the fall before, both of our beloved dogs of many years suddenly passed. After Jesse passed his cat became very ill, so I sent her on ahead. Here is the poem:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Yesterday was so intense in many ways. It was the first time I went to an event for a friend's daughter that was a life milestone. In this case it was her daughter's wedding shower. I knew it would be emotional. I would not have been able to attend this type of event before this.

As I was driving in, I looked up in the sky, and I noticed some clouds taking shape. It looked like a face, actually like Jesse's face...at that moment I had a strong impression of his presence before noticing this cloud formation. 

The actual event went well. I sat next to a mom, Jayne, who also lost her son about 2 years before Jesse. Her connection to me: The day Jesse passed, she insisted on calling me, even through the shock we were going though to share a special happening that she experienced with her son when he passed. She felt it would give me hope in the days ahead.

Back to the event: My daughter who was working was in between shifts so she was able to quickly swing by and join in as well. I think it was good for her. There were many people there she knew too.

After this, I felt the strong need to go to Jesse's resting place. I picked up more flowers to replace those that have faded. I keep a large ceramic pot out there filled with loose dirt, and just replace the flowers as they fade off. Little mementos are placed in it as well. 

I noticed when swapping out the flowers, that someone had placed their own in with mine. Whoever did this, has no idea how much that touched my heart -- that someone remembered Jesse. I think of all the small kind gestures that can make the difference in someone's world. I know, seeing those flowers there, did that for me.

[ericasmom]

Happy Heavenly Birthday Steve, you are the King of the Day, and all of our Angels will make sure that you feel it. May you dance and fly through the new freedom...in your new home, just beyond the veil of this old home. You are always in your Momma's heart and soul, just as we know she is always in yours.Peace Sweet Steve.

 

Maryanne, I love the collage you put together, the Pooh Cake is precious. May you feel STEVE close today, the special date that brought him to you.

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie....'when the small things become the big things'.....I call them my 'sacred small shrines'....

Glad to hear you went to the event and sat next to a Mama whose heart beat in tune with yours...no explanation needed...and that your daughter was there to share it with you...

We do become sky watchers...don't we ?

On Friday morning I woke very early....on my couch with coffee...looked around and found such comfort in that my cat was sleeping on her chair...my little dog..Sue Ann at my feet....my beloved and now priceless photos and portraits...even my furniture...(as the result of my downsizing...I have an eclectic assortment...furniture from my Great Grandmother..Grandmother..Mother...Beach Cabin..and Daniel's Great Grandparents..Grandparents..Mother...now everything in my house has a story)...I felt a serenity and pride in my surviving..and even how I had changed. Very fleeting but I needed to feel it...even for a nano second.

[InHeavensKeeping]

Happy Heavenly Birthday Steve. Xx

Maryanne I'll be thinking of you today take care xx 

[JD's Mom, Becky]

MaryAnn, thinking of you today. Happy Heavenly Birthday, Steve! Touch your mom in a special way today, let her know you're near! 

I rode  the mower today and cut some of the grass, then my husband had to take over. I just do not have the stamina that I used to. Then I took a dip in the pool for the first time this year. I have not spent much time in it, as there are so many memories surrounding it as Jared absolutely loved the pool, and if I am alone, there is a terrible overwhelming feeling of sadness. I didn't stay in long today, just did some arm exercise and walked working on my balance. 

Now, showered and very tired, I am relaxing with Jasmine's new kitten that she adopted yesterday. He is a grey tabby with some white and tan in his striping. I will take a pic a bit later....too sleepy right now.

Here we go, he's sleepy too!

 

 

 

 

[Mermaid Tears]

A very pretty kitty.....Becky...our Warrior Mom.....getting in the pool will be one of the best therapy gifts for you....many have had great success with their water therapy.....one woman....had bad back issues...on many...(too many) medications....she really had no life....her Dr. prescribed water therapy.....now...she is down to taking only one medication....and seems to have got a brand new life....get in that water and move slowly around....I always rest better after being in the pool...better than a sleep medication.

[ericasmom]

I agree with Susan, Becky, somehow, water reconnects things for we humans. Born of water and made mostly of water, we find that medium that engulfs us at the same time offering such freedom of the weight of our troubles and body. I think Kitty is lovely.

 

[daveydow1]

Becky----Such a beautiful kitty.  She looks something like my cat "Mousie"....gray.

Thanks for posting the lovely picks.

 

Laurie----thank you for posting "The Rainbow Bridge" poem. It surely strikes a note

of comfort to all who have lost beloved pets.  Our vet gave us a copy of the poem

when we had to have our cat, Brownie, put down a few years ago. She was 15 yrs.

old, had cancer, and was so beloved by Davey. When the family pet dies, one who was

living when our angels were here on earth with us...then it seems like another link

is broken, somehow.  Very sad.  Pets have their unique way of giving us comfort

in time of sadness.....they seem to sense our sorrow.  Many of us here on BI have

had to say goodbye to these faithful and dear pets, but we can have the faith and

hope that our furry friends have joined our dearly beloved children again.

 

Dee-----I agree that water holds special powers for us. Many times, just looking into

a body of water....be it large or small.....a birdbath, small pond, lake, creek, or the sea.......

can be a mystical and comforting experience.  My husband loves the ocean, and

spends so much time just looking out over the water to the horizon when we go

to the seashore on vacation.

Susan------the same holds true for sky watching, I think.  I love looking at the night

sky, and the moon.

 

WISHING   PEACE   AND   COMFORT    TO   ALL   INDIGOS.

sherry

[flocicero]

Maryann, wishing Steve a belated happy heavenly birthday....God bless you & hold you tight....,

its been forever since I've been here though I have been reading posts from time to time......it's so very sad to see new parents here...my heart breaks as read each of these stories......

Im coming up on Michaels 2nd angel anniversary , Sept 27th... I have no idea how almost 2 years have gone by.....for me ,time has stalled & it's Sept 27th, 2014 .....every day... I continue to relive that day.....not sure when ,if ever, it ends.....

i have decided to become a group leader for troubled youths in our church community ......my hope is to make a difference even if for only one child....I met with the group director a month ago & I told her my story & how I'm doing this to honor my son.....once I finished my story, she shared that 11 years ago she lost her son 3 weeks prior to his 20th birthday.....he also aspirated in his sleep r/t meds.. ....I was stunned with the similarities of our stories....she shared that last year was the first Christmas she felt some joy......funny how God puts the people you need in your path....I continue to meet with the ladies in my Monday night bible group ....I have developed a strong connection with my new church.....it gives me purpose as does my younger son Chris....

my relationship with my step daughter, that only was discovered because of Michaels death, has grown very strong & I now have 2 beautiful step granddaughters that love me....the little one , 9 years old , is coming over for a weekend sleepover & she can't wait! I love my stepdaughter as if she were were my own....we have so much in common...who knew....I just wish Michael didn't have to die for this relationship to blossom....I miss my son with every breath I take but I know that he sends me blessings and watches over me....

wishing all my friends here a peaceful night...love always

francesca

 

[tobyfreefoot]

so i've been in the psychiatric hospital. diagnosed with PTSD, dissociative disorder and major depression. i start neurofeedback on the 28th to try to rewire my brain. that is all other than insurance refused to pay last 4 days of hospital and i am not taking my prescribed anti-psychotic med because so far they are refusing to pay that too. i bought 4 pills to tide me over for 4 days at the price of 300 bucks. i ran out and they still haven't ok ed it. that is all except here is a pic of forest's monument after the decorating. love to all. hope the last couple weeks you have been in better shape than me lol!

[ericasmom]

Gretchen, I am so thankful that you have written to let us know where you have been, how you have been, and what took place in that spate of time. Well, you ended up where you needed to let it all loose it sounds like and I hope that you were able to do that. Insurance is in cases that require psychologists and the like, are a nightmare...they suddenly draw the line in the sand as though we are trying to bamboozle the system. You keep putting in the paperwork Gretchen, and be ever so gentle with your tender heart right now. Do as you would advise.

You are a good woman Gretchen, one who definitely deserves some time to heal.

[TearsInHeaven]

x

[ericasmom]

Thank you Dianne, it was a great day with wonderful people and weather that held for the party...early that morning when storms were all around us, I looked out the front door and watched the rain, there was a happy humming bird right there in the downpour visiting the bee-balm and I knew then, that the party would be dry, the hummer was a sign of goodness. It was lovely. We were beat afterwards but that is to be expected after having 70 or so people in the yard. We had jumbalayia and Italian beef, a variety of deserts and salads, and we caught up with each other.

Francesca, I so agree with Dianne, it sounds like life is better for you back in Wisconsin. I am glad that you have found a direction for your grief through assisting others. I do believe that helping others in whatever capacity we have, is a huge jump into some healing for ourselves as well.

Laurie, you post with such heart, such care of everyone here. Thank you for the poems and links. I am happy that you were able to attend the event as well, it takes time and a good deal of energy but eventually, it helps us find balance.

Susan, thank you too, for all you give to those of us here. I hope that you feel the healing through the computer vibes...

Sherry, we have been watering a good deal, have to, though I think that we have had more rain than you guys. I wish you some good rains, that will take care of the gardens. Our garden is looking beautiful. The veggies too are doing well, I made a yellow squash gratin which was good. The cucumbers are growing and two tomatoes have turned red.