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Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Dee, thank you for sharing about your Erica’s last days on her earth home. There was something very sacred and profound in the words you wrote…

 

…in my mind’s eye, I could see your little girl lying on that bed, waiting for those angels to guide her home…

Here is an Angel Prayer from the 17th century that comes to mind,

 

Four corners to my bed,
Four angels round my head;
One to watch, and one to pray,
And two to bear my soul away.

 

May you know that the life of your girl and you have touched so many. Blessings.

 

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Wayne--- I definitely believe this was a message from your son.

A beautiful message...letting you know that all was ok with him.

Thanks for sharing that lovely pic.

 

Kate----- I believe that we get these signs randomly. We can't

choose when they will come to us, of course, but they do

come, and they are the treasures we hold dear to our hearts.

 

Dee----- ERi's  sweet little soul rose in the pink clouded sky.

Her favorite color.

 

Laurie----thanks for the video. Very inspiring. Prayers for

that bereaved father who lost his dear son.

 

Francesca---Sorry that you are in a dark place. The point that

you are at on this journey is so difficult.  When I was at that

point....about 18 months.....I was lost in despair.  I'm glad that

your Bible class is giving you some solace.  Thoughts&prayers.

 

Dianne----thinking of you, .......hoping you can find some comfort

in knowing that you will see your dear son again. I think we all

hang onto that hope & belief.  Peace to you.

 

WISHING  A  CALM AND PEACEFUL  EVENING AND NIGHT TO  ALL  INDIGOS.

 

davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

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Sherri, so happy that you had a pink sky at morning...(sailor take warning). I love the ways the skies color and bleed into other colors as the sun both rises and sets. My students record the sunrise and set all week long, we earned 12 minutes more sunlight in 5 days. Whooo-hoo.

 

Laurie, how special that poem you posted about the  4 corners of the bed, 4 angels...4 is the number that is so sacred to me as Eri's numbers are 4-4-84. She died on 7-14-03. There are 4-fours in her dates. Most Native groups consider 4 to be sacred as it signifies the 4 directions, the 4 elements, and there are 4 kinds of animals on the earth: two-legged, four-legged, winged, and swimmers.

Eri ascended to the heavens in a burst of color, that was our first and biggest sign, hours after she died, I could not leave Kalamazoo to come back home. I needed to just stay in the town where we had spent the most devasting days of our lives, I needed to be in the town that she loved living in, so we stayed adn went to eat a meal at a local restaurant. I hadn't eaten a meal in 6 days, nor had my husband. We ate bits and pieces of food folks brought us at the hospital, but no real meal. We went to the restaurant where I ate, I felt my hunger and ate. My husband was in mid-bite when he said, oh my god, go outside, I will pay the bill go out and look up.

I ran outside to see the most amazing sight: A huge cloud in the form of a Girl, Erica. There were little zepher clouds curling off the head shape, I took those to be her dreads, and her long arms and large hands were raised above her head...her body was in flying formation, legs and huge feet extended, and the sun was setting thorugh her body, starting with her feet, from blood red to orange and then bright pinks throughout her body, a slow progression of color, and then another huge darker grayish cloud was facing her, and seriously, not making it up, it was a man's face. She was flying to him.

My husband who has never believed in the miracles of the afterlife, or ESP, or NDE, stood crying as we held each other up saying it's Eri. My sisters and nieces were already in Indiana on the highway and called me from their car crying, " Eri's in the sky!" They saw her too, a state away. It was Erica letting us know that she was reaching Heaven.

God bless that hard-working Angel of mine.

 

Francessca, you will get a message from your Boy, chances are he has sent you some already, for instance, the sale of your home and the ease with finding a job in your old town, those could have been helped along by the powers of his love perhaps. I am glad that you are where you are, for now it is your home, one day your home with your Son will be the next place you go, but for now your place is here, finding your way in all the salt and ash that is left. Somehow, that immense love that you carry with you will be the joy of your life more than it is the ache. It takes time though. Be kind to YOU, take the advice you would give any one of us. It is good advice.

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Mermaid Tears

John David left this earth home in August...and I found this site...(I truly believe now I was 'led' to this site that night I was looking something else up on the internet)...in December.....

Dee....your sharing of the 'Eri Cloud' created a  little zinger straight to my shattered heart...and the light in the woods..on the path...has stayed with me....I made a print screen of it and look at it often....

  I have become a sky watcher...the sun has a different feel to me now...and the night sky is immensely beautiful...we released his ashes in the blue-green ocean...I feel a different connection to Mother Earth...I sometimes feel my boy is all around me....knowing how John David was all the time he was on the earth home...he would never not be around/with/near me...he called me 'Su Mommie'....post-306805-0-42989400-1456669169_thumb.post-306805-0-74385600-1456669328_thumb.post-306805-0-99979400-1456669563_thumb.

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Laurie, I love your angel prayer. How beautiful. Wishing everyone a peaceful day.

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Dee, your story of Eri is just so beautiful...I can't stop crying......I haven't sold my Indiana house yet but I did find my job over the weekend of Michaels first anniversary......I knew that wasn't a coincidence & it's so close to my Wisconsin house where I raised Michael & his brother Chris.....this house is where all my memories of him live.....he wants me here.....

Laurie the angel poem is so touching......

Sherry....I'm so lost.....I can't seem to find my way anymore.....18 months feels like hell on earth......but then isn't earth our hell? It must surely be.....I can't imagine pain worse than this......right now I don't feel like I have the will to continue on this horribly painful path......I beg God every day to take to my boy......

Susan like your John David, Michael was always around me....he lived at home....he was so funny, loving......his love for me was so intense.....he can't possibly be gone......this just can't be.....I'm just falling apart.....

I'm so tired....been sick with a constant cold for weeks..... Going to get sleep....

Peace

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Francesca, he is near you, sleep the deep sleep of a child tonight, and dream of him. I wish you this.

Yes, the pain is insurmountable and somehow you breathe through it, even though you'd rather not. Please hang on Dear, we are here to catch you, lean on us, cry to us, we get it. Your voice is heard.

 

Just to add the topping on my Eri-as-a-cloud story: when the last of the sunset went through the girl in the sky and into the awaiting man-cloud, the sky was black...I had to go in but waited out in that parking lot in case there was something more I was to see. It was hard to go in but I needed a shower badly and I needed to lay in a bed, had been in sleeping bags on the floor of the Trauma Center for 6 nights.

I walked into our cheap motel and turned on the television and this is the first thing said: A new hurricane forming in the Pacific is named Erika. Now my Girl's name was spelled with a C, but come-on, that is amazing. I wept with joy, She was letting us know that she was all around. Erica loved storms and while she never lived through a hurricane due to our midwest lives, she would love them, I know. And so within hours of her death, a hurricane was named Erica. Love that.

 

Goodnight All-

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JD's Mom, Becky

Here is the picture that my daughter took of a rainbow that randomly appeared on her bedroom ceiling.

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My son Dylan Thomas Heaps age 22 died 26/12/2015. He was a motorcross rider and on 10/12 he fell and broke his hip socket. The doctors repaired his hip and sent him home. We sought medical help for pain he was having and twice it was put down to cramp. Finally 24/12 he was seen in hospital by an orthopaedic registar and an ultrasound ordered. They discovered Dylan had a DVT blocking his femoral artery. He was sent home with blood thinners but suffered a pulmonary embolism and died. I have since begun a medical misadventure case against paramedics who saw him 7 days post op, and didn't even do any observations and didn't transport to hospital and now it turns out didn't do any paperwork. The gp who saw him 8 days again told it was cramp and sent home even when I questioned DVT. And the hospital for 1) no blood thinners post op after hospital even though it is proven to lessen DVT formation. 2) no senior dr saw my son and he was not scanned for Pulmonary embolism or kept in hospital and administered thrombolytic drugs to stop Pulmonary embolism occurring. In New Zealand suing for medical misadventure is not a financial gain it makes systems change etc. the process will take many months and I keep getting calls from heads of then various places saying "we are so sorry" today it was paramedic guy telling me the paramedic is very sorry. Sorry didn't stop my son Dieing. Sorry doesn't stop my pain,

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InHeavensKeeping

Donnah I'm so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place to help and guide you through this journey of grief. All the parents on this site understand your pain because we all are going through it too.

I will keep you in my prayers

Peace to you X

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InHeavensKeeping

Oh God I miss you James xx

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Hi Donnah,

My name is Wayne. I lost my son on Jan 21 this year. I absolutely understand the pain you are in. I am struggling horribly myself and am trying to get the police to investigate my sons death. You have definitely come to the right place. The people on this site are wonderful and fully understand what you are facing. No words can describe what we are all going through but just having somewhere to write your feelings to people that are going through the same thing can be uplifting at times. I am so sorry you are in our club. I wish this club did not exist. But we are all here to help even if it is to let you know that you are not alone in your journey through this hell.

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Becky,

That is amazing. I just read the other day that rainbows that appear without rain are definitely your loved ones.

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My sons truck had broke down on him 5 days before he left me. It has been sitting in my driveway since. He loved his truck even though it wasn't in very good shape. His previous truck was a big old truck and me and him had spent hours upon hours working on it. But I loved it cause it was our "bonding time". Well, when he got this next truck he had a picture of what he wanted to do to his truck. At first I just wanted to get rid of it because it just made me think of what he didn't get to finish. But now I have decided that I am going to fix it and then restore it to what he wanted it to be. I started working on it yesterday and it has been hard because he is not by my side "arguing" with me about how to fix it. He would always do that but due to my experience he would always say you were right daddy. It would aggravate me but looking back now that was some of our best times. There is actually a song that talks about this although I cannot remember the name of it now. But this is our project. And even though he is not here physically I know he is here with me spiritually to help me get it done.

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JD's Mom, Becky

I went shopping with my daughter earlier today and fell flat on my face while entering the store! My husband has come home and packed my knees and ankles in ice. Nothing broken, but really hurt! He asked me what I was trying to do and I told him I heard it was leap year,so I thought I would!

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JD's Mom, Becky

Donnah, so very sorry to hear about your son. There are several of us that have experienced the added battle of trying to obtain justice for our children, and know how daunting that can be. Take care of yourself and I add my prayers for you.

Wayne, we had bought my son, Jared,a car that he and my husband had planned on restoring together, and my husband and I took up the restoration about two years after losing Jared. We both felt it was very healing, and tried to do what we thought he would have chosen. I will try to get the link to our project and post it here for you.

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Angel boy of mine. I'd your name Becky? I am still trying to learn everyone's name here. Yes it is kind of healing. I would love if you could post that but if not that is fine. I think maybe I will try to take pictures and post them as I work on it. It might take me a few years cause I am definitely not wealthy but I will get it done. And I plan on being here because everyone here has helped me so I hope that I can do the sAmerican for others some day.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Wayne. Yes I am Becky, Jared's mom. It took us about a year to restore his car,and we got the ins. co. To insure it for the amount we had invested by showing them our receipts. We scoured junkyards online and saved a lot that way.

I will find the link when I am up again to my computer, can't do it from my phone.

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Wayne,

I would love to see pictures of your son's truck..through time. You are so new to this journey. Finding something to occupy your mind will be very helpful. This is a process, one step at a time. If you feel like giving-up, just step back. Then, when your head is a bit clearer, start up again.

Your son is with you, just as mine is.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

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Donna,

I too am sorry your son is now an angel, but glad you found us. My son, Brian died 7.5 years ago. His risky behavior contributed to his death, but he was not driving. We dealt with the court system for almost a year.

We too had to be an advocate for Brian. It was very hard, but looking back, was worth it.

Please tell us about your journey. Many here can offer what helped them. We are all friends here.

Be kind to yourself. We are here for you.

Colleen, Brian's mom forever.

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Donnah, welcome to a place of comfort and strength, we are here to help hold you up when the days are too dark to see. We get it, we don't get frightened away by your sadness, we share it. So many of us know what it is like to not be able to share our stories with the ones we know so well in our circle of friends, they run the other way, unsure of what they can do to assist us, when it is simpler than they think, we need to talk about our BELOVED CHILD, and we need to be heard. This is why we are here, and why so many of us remain here long after the event that caused us this deep hole.

I know what it is to advocate to try to attain some justice for my Daughter Erica. She died 12.5 years ago when a train hit her car at a broken crossing. Sometimes we have to fight to be heard by the courts, and no matter if we win or not in court...we want the story of how our Child passed to make an impact on the systems that allowed it to happen in the first place. Sometimes it means a lawsuit, sometimes it means shouting it out to the media. Whatever way allows your Son's name to be considered when that Doctor is reviewed...that will be a sort of justice.

We can't get our Baby back, and so no amount of justice seeking will allow that miracle, but we know from our many stories that our Kids survive in our lives for all time and we are standing in their light to prove it.

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Thank you all for your words of comfort and support. Wayne my son has a project car and his friends are going to finish it for him. I'll post a picture with this post. Dylan and I were very close as I am to his younger brother Levi. Dylan had a gorgeous partner Caitlin and they bought their first home in Septmeber. Dylan had almost completed his engineering boiler maker apprenticeship. He had travelled overseas for work and was loved by all that meet him. After his funeral service which over 600 attended, held New Year's Eve in our small town people keep telling us they at twice or more Dylan's age haven't packed in as much as our beloved son. He hunted, raced big motorbikes on the beach and loved motorcross. He was always helping others and had a beautiful smile. As a family we know we have to keep going for Dylan and live our lives as fully a he did. post-403983-0-88970200-1456870946_thumb.

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Hey Donnah,

Your son and mine sound a lot alike. My son loved hunting and riding four wheelers. He was loved by so many people. I had people coming up to me at the funeral telling me how much they loved him and older people telling me how respectful and considerate he was. Logan and I were very close as well. And a lot of his friends have offered to help me repair his truck.

I too am also trying and struggling to get justice for my son. There are a lot of discrepancies and mysteries as to what happened and the local police are to lazy or trying to cover for someone that might possibly be involved in my sons death.

Anyways, keep coming here. It really does help to talk to people who are having or have been through the same struggles as we are.

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Mermaid Tears

Wayne....I believe you have been guided by your boy to work on the car...just as I believe Becky and her husband were...and there was another Dad that was active on this site and he worked on his son's motorcycle...

     I think your boys guide you in that there is a connection to hands being busy...and in creating....and your mind can open and expand...and find a layer ....of healing.

   That fine connection with boys and motors...and the Dad standing by to teach them...priceless.

 

Wayne...have you had a behind closed door discussion with the DA about the situation....who gave your boy that drink...? Surely he knew what he was giving him. Have you discussed the situation with the parents of the other boy that died from drinking the same drink ? If you cannot afford a Private Investigator by yourself...maybe teaming up with the other parents can make it possible. A PI will know how to 'talk' to people ...am sure no one will tell you the truth...knowing who you are and they don't want to be involved. If the community and police are shielding this person.... a PI can uncover the facts.

 

Donnah....none of us on this site are professional counselors or therapists....we are just parents that had no choice when we were placed on this grief journey....we have no answers...but we do join hands and hearts in helping each other find footing. One day we may go 3 steps ahead....another day....5 steps back. That is normal. Many on this site are what I call 'Spirit Guides'...they have been on here for years....thank goodness they have stayed....for they are farther along this grief path and they 'wave' to us....and let us know we can 'survive'...and I will be honest...this is the hardest path I have ever had to walk. Do not expect too much of yourself or other family/siblings/friends at this time....just be very kind and gentle with yourself....this is strictly a day to day journey. The shock suit will fit very, very tight...but that is our bodies way of protecting us....for if we let it all in at once....we would surely have an emotional and physical breakdown. We are heartbroken every time a new parent finds their way to this site....we know there are many dark days ahead for that family. We are here to hear you.post-306805-0-10601800-1456938133_thumb.

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Mermaid Tears

should I contact Mod....when I tried to get onsite...I was warned that this was a 'hostile' website...please our techno savvy people like...Laurie....look into it please....xoxoxoxoxo Susan

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JD's Mom, Becky

I can get on here from my phone, but not from my computer, got the same message that you did, Susan. Yes, Please let Konnie know!!

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JD's Mom, Becky

http://culturecampaign.blogspot.com/2013/04/army-computers-label-baptist-website-as.html?m=1. What I found when researching the message that pops up. Something to do with malware, yes, please let Konnie know, I think it's on the server's end. In the meantime, you can get on by clicking the "details" button at the bottom of the warning page, then at the bottom of the next page that comes up, click "continue on to site".

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Mermaid Tears

Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace. — May Sarton

 

One of my most soul fulfilling activities is tending my garden. No matter how full my schedule, or how challenging my day, I always make time for meditation and gardening (and often I meditate in my garden). When you garden, you are grounded in the earth while at the same time connected to the spirit world. It’s as if your body becomes a bridge between the physical world and heaven!

Brian and I recently moved to a home that has lots of beautiful growing space – which I’m taking full advantage of – but you can realize the soul benefits of gardening anywhere. All you need is a patch of earth, or space for a flowerpot or window box.

If you’re not already sold on the spiritual benefits of gardening, here are ten reasons to pull on some gloves, grab a spade, and give it a try:

1) It’s hard not to love life while you’re doing it! Working in the garden with the sun on your back, enjoying the sights and smells of the plants and flowers gets your endorphins going and brings out positive feelings of vitality, accomplishment and gratitude.

2) You’re honoring mother earth. It’s no secret that plants, trees and flowers provide wonderful benefits to the Earth and everyone who lives there. To make your gardening even more Earth friendly, try using recycled rainwater and composting food scraps.

3) You can see the transformative results of your hard work. So many things that we spend time on have temporary results. A garden is satisfying because it builds on itself – plants and trees get bigger and healthier, and your garden gets more beautiful over time.

4) It’s a mindful activity that engages your senses. Mindfulness is the act of being totally present in the moment. When you are planting, watering, weeding and harvesting your senses are fully engaged in the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and tactile sensations of your garden.

5) Gardening gets you out of your own head and helps ground you. We all spend lots of time “in our heads” thinking, worrying, and planning but gardening gives us time to connect with something tangible and real.

6) Gardening is an analogy for life. When I’m busy in my garden, I tend to get philosophical. Recently I had this thought. “The mind is like a garden and every once in a while you have to pull out the weeds.”

7) You feel closer to loved ones on the other side – When I’m gardening and I see a special flower, bird or butterfly, I feel as if my mother is sitting by my side.

8) It’s a great excuse to do something nice for someone else. Brian and I love to pick lemons or flowers from our back yard and share them with friends and neighbors. It’s a simple act of kindness that brings joy to the giver and the receiver.

9) It creates beauty and joy for yourself and others.  I love to sit quietly and admire the plants and flowers in my garden – it’s also gratifying when neighbors come by and admire our progress.

10) It’s a great alternative to mediating – when I’m watering, weeding, and hoeing I find myself slipping into “the gap” just as I do when I meditate.

I’m a lover of plants, flowers and the outdoors – but art, music, writing, even ironing have some of the same soul fulfilling benefits as gardening –

 

I found this on FB...thought I would share it.....my Grama always said 'a person will never go crazy as long as they dig in the earth.....

 

Also....I have had the thought that Father Time and Mother Nature would bring me the most healing.....

 

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I am so sad. All I can think about is my baby laying in that grave and I can't get to him. I miss him so bad. I wish I was with him. I don't feel like I have anything left inside of me. I feel like all my love died with him. Don't get me wrong, I still love my daughter and wife but my heart is so broken. Logan and I had such a bond. Where do I go from here? How do I continue on knowing I will never be able to do any of the things that we did together which was everything that I enjoyed doing? We had so much in common, and I do not feel as if I should ever do those things again because he doesn't ever get to. My ex wife and I were talking and we both just don't understand why he was taken. He had such a huge heart. And there are so many people in this world that live that are horrible people. Why? How do you ever make any kind of sense of your baby being taken? Or do you?

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Hi Wayne, I've tried sending you a private message but the site won't let me. We all hurt for our lost babies. Some days are so much harder than others. Nothing about death makes sense even less so when it is our children. I found a post on another website comforting and I'd like to share it with you. Hope today you find something to smile about maybe a memory of a good time with your son.

The following is a post by Fara Gibson. "When we lose our loved ones, One of the hardest things to overcome, is the Thought of The Passing... Weather it was sudden and tragic, or Slow and painful, or prior to birth, or natural, there are far too many to list.. In each and every reading that I have done, when someone dwells on the day of their Loved One's Passing, I find that their Loved Ones in Heaven want me to remind them, "My Passing is not the reason that you Love Me so much. My Passing was not what put a smile on your Face. Our Greatest Memories Made, were not the day that I passed." "Remember me for How I Lived". I too have Tragically Lost someone very close to me, in a Sudden Motorcycle Accident. But, the moment of his Passing, wasn't what I Loved Him for.. I Loved his Smile, His Sense of Humor, His Unconditional Love, His Warm Hugs.. Each Time I find myself trying to Play Out his Passing in my Head, I make a Conscious decision now, to replace that thought with one of the Reasons that I Love Him the Most. I know it won't bring him back. But, when I keep his Memory alive within me, He is truly never gone.

People often come to me with Guilt.... There are too many reasons to list their reasons for carrying it.... "I didn't get to say goodbye" "I Wasn't able to be there for the passing or the Funeral" "The last things we said to each other were awful"... When someone passes, it truly happens just as it should have. If you weren't there to see them pass, then you were meant to remember them as they were when they lived. If you had harsh words with them, it is a lesson for you to ensure that you choose your words to be filled with love in the future. But, whatever the guilt you are carrying, please, I ask you to do this... Mentally take all of the Guilt you carry, Place it all in a Beautifully Decorated Steel Box that you also create with your Mind... Now, Slam the Lid shut on this box, and Lock it with a Beautiful key that only you carry.. Okay, Hand this Box to GOD... He will keep it safe for you, as it is no longer your box to carry.

Is there life after death? Can my loved ones hear me? Are they watching over me? It is only human to ask these questions. As a Psychic Medium, it is my life's mission to answer these questions with validations, evidential information, and beautiful messages from your loved ones in Heaven. The Answer is YES! I had a lady on a phone reading once ask me if her Sister in Heaven could see her still today? I replied back to her, "Why is your Sister Showing me a Large Bowl of Ice Cream when you ask me that?" The lady on the phone Gasped and said "Oh WOW!!! My Husband is right behind me Dishing up a Big Bowl of Ice Cream right now!"... You see... That was her Sister's way to say... YES! The validations that come through from loved ones, range anywhere from Seeing accomplishments in school, to bringing up a family celebration that just happend because they attended it from Heaven as well, or things that have been done in memory of them since their passing (Memorial Tattoos, Personal License Plates, Shrines in the home, ect). They see our children grow. They know that someone shares a name with them. I couldn't begin to list all that they know and see, because, they hear your words to them and they hear your thoughts of them. They are the Wind in your hair. They are the Sunlight on your face. They are the sand beneath your toes. They are the cool breeze that blows past your cheek.. Heaven is Truly all around us.

I don't think you have to find a Medium to find healing... If you do, please do your research beforehand, to ensure they are reputable and would truly help you to find healing.. I have had far too many clients come to me who had gone to just any "Psychic" they had found in a listing. Please know that if you go to a True Psychic/Medium, that you should NEVER have to give ANY INFORMATION to the Psychic up front. You should not even tell them who it is you want to hear from. It should truly all come from the psychic. You may validate back to the Psychic each message or validation as it comes to you through them, but, do not tell them any extra with it. You do not want a psychic to give you what they "Think you want to Hear".. You want them to give you what is Truly Coming through from Heaven with No Gimmicks required. I put this here, because, I have had many clients who were worse off after a reading from someone who claimed to be Psychic and truly hurt them with false messages. You should leave your reading filled with Love and Feeling like you just spent that entire conversation with your Loved Ones in Heaven

There are signs all around you... Sometimes our Grief is so painful, that we miss all of the amazing and beautiful signs that are around us. We all want to feel comforted knowing that the spirits of our loved ones are still with us once they've passed away. These five common signs from heaven give us that comfort and peace of mind. All we need to do to receive the signs is open our hearts! Visions, Invisible Touch, Smells, Dreams, Moving Objects...... They have the ability to send Birds, Songs, Butterflies, Coins... I could go on and on.... What signs do your Loved Ones Send you???... If you don't think your loved one sends signs, your grief may be so deep that you just haven't noticed them yet.. It is okay and that is completely normal.. Please know that they are there, waiting for you, and working on your Healing through Signs that they are with you....

Remember them... Honor them... Celebrate their Life and how they lived... THEY NOW LIVE THROUGH YOU! If you truly approach each day as though you are living your life for them and in their Honor... How would you spend each day? Would you Travel and take a memento of theirs with you on the trip? Do you eat their favorite foods? Do you still visit that favorite place that you spent time together? If they live their life through your eyes, what do they see? Do they watch you laying in bed with your eyes filled with tears? Or do you take them with you on amazing adventures and include them every step of the way? Only you can decide... I can tell you, THEY WANT TO SEE YOU LIVE!!!!!!! Write a letter to them with all of your hopes and dreams... Write down your favorite memories of them and have each family member read one memory on Christmas Morning with the family sitting around the tree. Plant a tree in their honor and tend to it with care as you speak to them. Whatever you do, Include them....

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Hey Donnah, thank you so much. That is without a doubt the best thing I have read so far to help me.

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Let's share happy memories of our angels.

Back when Pizza Hut had all you can eat we took our two boys Dylan and his younger brother Levi for dinner. Both loved that they could eat as much as they liked. Dylan ate and ate. His father and I both suggested he stop or he'd be sick but he carried on, making a guts of himself at the dessert bar especially. After we left the restaurant we waited almost an hour while Dylan, who had gorged himself, threw up repeatedly in the garden. From that day in he never ate cheesecake again.

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Well, one of the funniest memories of I have of Loganwas actually kind of embarrassing for me, but I will share it anyways.

When Logan was around 5 or 6 we were at Lowes one time. He was sitting in the cart and I was pushing it. He kept pushing down on his pee pee. I ask him what was wrong and he said "It's sticking up and it won't go down." Then he said "Does yours ever do that Daddy?" Needless to say, my face turned beet red.

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Mermaid Tears

Wayne and Donnah....thank you for sharing those 'sweet memories'....in the beginning of my grief journey...my 'shock suit' fit so tight....I could barely breathe...it was as if everything shut down...and I had everyone around me talking about their favorite memories of John David but for once I could barely think...my voice was silent. Here I am in my 4th year...and tiny little portals are opening and I can recall those sweet memories.

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Hello to all Indigos.....I have not been on here for a few days, due to

warnings on my server. Hope I have it cleared now. Not too sure what

it was all about.

 

 

 

 

Donnah-----I am so sorry for your loss of your dear son, so recently.  You have

found a good site to come and talk about your son, and the sorrow, pain,

and devastation that you feel. Everyone, here at BI (formerly Beyond Indigo),

understands.  As you describe your son's medical treatment, there is a clear

demonstration of medical negligence.  I hope that you will be able to get

justice for your son.  Peace & comfort to you.

 

Francesca------I'm sorry that you are in that very dark place.  I know the

feeling of being 'lost' at that stage....18 months.  As difficult as

it is...and there's no doubt that it is crazy difficult.....we must try to take 

even one baby step towards finding our healing.  It's always a step or two forward,

and maybe more steps backward.....this is the new normal for grieving on

this rough journey.  Being kind to yourself, and taking care of yourself

when you absolutely don't want to, or even care to.....is a step in the

direction of finding peace.  Immune systems can be compromised when

we are grieving so deeply,  I know.  I hope that you are feeling  a bit better

today.  I found that just letting myself cry, would....at times,  lend itself

to some small measure of peace.  Please take care of yourself, Francesca.

We're here for you.   Peace & comfort.

 

Dee-----Winter is baaaack!  I've been doing a lot of reading, and oil-painting.

Can't do too much else right now....due to a sore ankle. :( ,..... but it's improving.

 

WISHING  ALL  INDIGOS   COMFORT  AND A  PEACEFUL  SLEEP  TONIGHT.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

  

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Doves and woodpecker feeding.   

 

My kitty sleeping soundly.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Yet more snow this morning!! Pretty, but I am so ready for spring.

post-297831-0-82538200-1457141324_thumb.post-297831-0-54494000-1457141406_thumb.post-297831-0-10715800-1457141436_thumb.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Wayne, here is the link to my son's car restoration:  

 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.320852187934327.82202.298623730157173&type=3

 

 

I about "peed" myself reading your young Logan memory, Wayne!!

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Thanks Becky. Yeah looking back it was pretty hilarious. And that car is absolutely awesome.

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Dianne---Yes, that saying is so true.  We've all cried buckets. Thanks

for posting .

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InHeavensKeeping

It's Mother's Day tomorrow my second one without my son. I feel so lost without him just miss him so much. I've had a tough few weeks with this chest infection which still hasn't gone. Going for an X-ray on Monday.

Still trying to fight for justice for James. It's a real battle which is made so much harder by lack of funds.

Feeling so sad I just hate all these occasions now I know I still have so much to be thankful for I don't mean to be like this but I'm broken hearted all I can think about is that James will be missing.

God Bless xx

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InHeavensKeeping

For all our Angels xx

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Sherry and Colleen, good to see your posts. Thanks to all who shared photos.

 

I have let Konnie know that there may be a possible virus on the web server. I suspect it is a hyjacking virus as I get the same...usually I just click back to Google home page very quickly, and click the Grief site link again, and I am able to get the Grief site to load on the second try.

 

It has been a rather long 2 weeks. Last week we went to the final session of the court hearings. We got most of what we were asking for. However, the woman who killed my son absconded...and simply disappeared. Our court system is so weak, why on earth the judge did not ask for prison time for this idiot...she has no respect for the laws of this land. Her attorney had to make one last go of it, dragging us through the mud as much as he could, meanwhile his "client" is who-knows-where"...our state even has a mandatory insurance law in place...so that families are not burdened with costs that they should not bear..

 

But it is done. There is no bringing my beloved son back to me, in time, it will be me that goes to him and my other son, Taylor.

 

On Friday, I found out that a friend I knew long ago passed away on March 1...spent some time consoling his sister over the internet via FB chat...I was fairly close with his sister at one time...shared a bit of what I thought would help her...

 

...this is a different leg of this journey...feelings still fluctuate wildly...and I still have a high need for seclusion and quietness...

 

...grief continues on, just takes on different shades...

 

Sending gentle thoughts to all...

 

**************************

Interesting quote from a bygone era, when respect for others and laws of the land actually meant something...

 

Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead, and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land and their loyalty to high deeds. ~ William Gladstone

​William Gladstone, 1809 - 1898, UK Prime Minister

 

 

 

 

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Laurie I love that quote, thanks so much. I am sad that you had to find that the woman left again, wasn't she missing for quite a while right after Jessie died? It is the lack of morality I think, that makes us all so incredulous. How can you be like this we want to yell and shake them and ask them, HOW can you just leave when it takes every bit of my energy to walk into the courts each time we go?

She is a sick woman and I suppose does not and maybe never did, understand her responsibility in life.

I hope that you received my PM from a week or so ago, but it never did show me that it went out to you.

Thanks for letting the site know that we are being hit with some sort of spyware. Makes me nervous. I am sorry about your friend. a friend of mine, a fellow teacher, was diagnosed last week with melanoma, stage 3. Goodness knows that this is a very scary outlook, and so prayers that she find hope in the midst of pain, and that the doctors find ways that give her more time, maybe even more than they think...

 

Even though your heart is shattered Georgina, I wish you as good-as-can-be-mom-day tomorrow.

 

Hang in there Sherry, the warmer weather is promised by late tomorrow and then on Monday and Tuesday...

 

Crazy amount of snow for you Becky. Wow, it is pretty.

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Thanks Dianne, this woman is grieving the life she wants to live knowing that it will be altered significantly. She is a good person, a mom of all boys and a great kindergarten teacher. The kind of teacher you would like your Grandies to have one day. When Erica died, this teacher was an assistant at the time, she came to see me at lunch time day in and day out to see if I was okay. She listened and cried along with me. Now we listen and cry along with her.

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