Loss of an Adult Child

[JD's Mom, Becky]

[InHeavensKeeping]

Hi everyone I've just lost my post dame it.

I just wanted to thank you for your support and words of comfort and encouragement. I'm feeling a little better just weak in energy and quite breathless. The doctor was worried and said I have no reserves to fight anything and like you al advise self care.

I feel like I'm being dragged into a deep black hole my grief is so heavy and consumis everything I do and think.

As we working our way through this awful mess in james case and were knocked back and lied to again and again it starts to break you down but then I come onto this forum and everyone has taken time to write to me and it made me feel better your all so great. Thank you it really helped me.

We are still seeing the solictor on Tuesday a five hour session to plan our case.

I wrote this poem today for James it's the second one I've tried.

James......

My hearts in pieces

I'm sorry about that

But I can't stand

That your not coming back

I'm trying to understand

Why you had to go

But I now know

I'll just never know.

Seventeen months

Times gone so slow

Every second

Bringing me to a new low

I wonder where you are

I search for you everyday

It's the only way

I can cope this way

If I could bring you back

I'd go in your place

You had your life ahead of you

It just such a waste

Your beautiful smiling face

Your kind and gentle grace

Your caring loving ways

Are missed here always

James I love and miss you

I'll never understand why

But I promise you this

I'll keep you by my side

Close to my heart

In my thoughts and prayers

Forever until we meet again

Mum xxxx

[Jeff's Mom]

Drat lost my post! Georgina, I am happy to see that you are beginning to feel a bit better. I very much like your poem to James. He would be smiling as he saw you writing it to him.

 

Susan, hope things are warming up your way. They are calling for lows of -28C. tonight. Supposedly this is the last of it.

 

Just wishing everyone a peaceful evening.

 

Kate

[ericasmom]

Georgina, it is amazing isn't it, that in the midst of deep grief there is a place that comforts you, the comfort from those who know. We are all holding your hand and your heart which one day, will find its rhythm and its beat will include the love and the ache.

Your poem shows us the depth of that broken heart but it also shows that sliver of hope...(until we meet again),it is in that hope that you will find a new way to live.

[Waynes78]

So, I have been a little better the past couple days. I went to my doctor and she upped my depression meds and I also talked to the chaplain at the VA. Also, everyone's words on here have really helped.

One of Logans teachers wrote a poem about Logan and they are going to put it in the yearbook. It describes Logan to a tee.

His teachers name is Mrs. Stafford. In the poem you can see where he called her Mrs. Stafchevy because he loved chevy trucks and he was always giving people nicknames.

[Mermaid Tears]

Wayne....it is a blessing to 'see' your child from another's eyes...I loved that poem that described your Logan...his sense of humor was his gift....and I see how he shared that gift with so many....what a rich blessing.

 

Am glad to hear you are feeling some better....remember...this is a journey....steep hills one day....low, low valleys the next day.....just take it one day at a time....

 

 

Georgina...thank you for sharing that poem that came straight from your shattered heart...we recognize the pain...that is in each word.

 

 

Becky....this kind of grief will knock the useless right out of our lives....will chisel the superfluous away.....loved your post.

[daveydow1]

Georgina.....Becky.....and Wayne------thank your for posting those

lovely poems in honor of your beloved children. The love, pain,

and hope is part of each one..

 

Sherry

[daveydow1]

This is the area at the back of our property where I saw a fox

running yesterday.  His coloring showed up so clearly against 

the snow.  He went through the cornfield and off into the woods.

I love seeing wild animals in nature.

[InHeavensKeeping]

Thank you Sherry the woods at the back of your home look so pretty We have put a bird table at James's grave. It's so lovely to sit and watch them and listen to them sing. It's so strange when I'm at my lowest a Robin comes out and sits with us. X

Thank you Susan I did write that from my heart I'm not very good at putting into to words how I feel my minds so full of everything i can't seem to get it down. X

Dee Thankyou I can honestly say I wouldn't of survived without the support given here I've been desperate at times and there's always been some words, thoughts and good advice and ways to take that little step forward again Thank you x

Kate James was so good at writing he had a way with words and I used to try and persuade him to write story's I'll post an extract when I'm able but I cannot read them again yet.x

I miss my beautiful boy so much xx

God Bless Take Care Georgina xx

[shorty16]

Wayne,

What a great tribute. I think about you and your Logan. Same age as my Brian when he became an angel.

We, who walked before you on this journey, would like nothing more than to straighten your path. However, what we can do is tell you what worked for us and what did not. From there, you can choose.

After Brian died, All I wanted to do is tell everyone how funny Brian was. Some family and friends found it uncomfortable when I talked about my angel. I came here and told all that would listen how much I love and miss my son. Here, we get it.

Do what feels right for you and your family.

Colleen, Brian's mom forever

[ericasmom]

I agree Colleen that the teacher's writing is a great tribute to the memory of such a special young man. Wayne, his light won't go out.

 

It is sub zero cold here today, sunny but not a day to be outside. I am going to watch the kids for a bit.

[Jeff's Mom]

It is cold as ever this past weekend. I woke up to a chilly -30C. The sun is a vivid blue and there is no wind. Thank heaven! We just returned from our little town after running a few errands. Lunch, library,  groceries, etc.  Things are quiet... as one would imagine given the temps.

 

Colleen...good for you! I think you should continue to talk about Brian whenever you feel like it. The more you do it...the more people will start to feel comfortable and relax.

 

Sherry, your trip to the gallery last weekend sounded very nice. Thank you for sharing your picture of your property. Does the fox live nearby? Is there a den? We have deer trails through our property... and as we feed the birds regularly...when it is this cold...the poor things come to the feeders...as they are low and eat the oiled sunflower seeds. We are going through a ton of them this past cold spell. Supposedly this is the end of it. And a good thing too!

 

Dee, hope you are enjoying those sweeties of yours today. I imagine you are beat after a hectic week at school. Maybe the opportunity for a leisurely walk is in the cards.

 

Laurie, thinking of you and hoping this week was a good one. I am so pleased that your friend had good news about her cancer.

 

Susan, I imagine you are with the family tomorrow for Valentine's celebrations. Have a great day!

 

Georgina, keep writing. It really helps to get it out and onto paper. Love that photo of James. Are those your hands wrapped around his neck? Too funny! Makes me think of Jessie hugging the cactus. Just love some of those pictures. Forever young. 

 

Well, off to bake for my friend who is ill. Have a good day tomorrow everyone.

 

Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate.....you asked about our weather....for the past 4 days it has been 80 degrees....Daniel and I drove to Hempstead and bought a dog statue in memory of our Cowgirl.....we bought a cat statue for our kitties...Oche and Garage Kitty....all are buried in my back flower bed....

 

and we are hosting a huge Valentines gathering tomorrow...Daniel will boil the crayfish/potatoes/corn and I am making Seafood Gumbo..(using the crabs we caught at Port 'A' last summer).....he is the one that suggested this...I think he needs a reason to have family and friends gather....he has seemed slower and quieter lately.....

 

We will host another Crayfish boil on John David's Birthday on March 10th....

 

Moving On....

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee.....Jesse is bringing our 'new little man' tomorrow and spend Sunday night with us because Monday is a holiday...Grampa and I need some time with him....a house has a different feeling to it when you have a little one around...have fun with your babies....gee....all my Northern sisters are really in a deep freeze....

[InHeavensKeeping]

Hi Kate that picture of James was taken in the July just before he was killed. That's at his sisters wedding and she is the one holding his face. James had the most beautiful smile! They were so close. We've just found out she's got Shingles we are all so grief stricken everyone's ill

My husbands so low he's been wondering around saying I don't know what to do over and over not eating worried sick about me not sleeping well. We seem to be falling apart all of us

Susan I really loved the roses poem Thankyou.

Much love and best wishes Georgina xx

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Sunset over our backyard...

[Jeff's Mom]

Becky, how beautiful! I love how the sunset changes with each passing day.

 

Georgina, even now after six years plus... we still find ourselves on certain days filled with a deeper aching than usual at the loss of our son. I know that your husband suffers from depression. Is he under the care of anyone? Taking any antidepressants? It is perfectly normal to wander around lost when you are trying to find some form of footing after losing a child suddenly. It sounds as if you are both still in shock. The legal battle you are facing is also keeping the difficult circumstances of James death at the forefront. Surround yourself with as much support as you possibly can. Grief therapy, reading, physical activity, etc....can be a lifeline. Reach out to those that care and are there to listen. You are definitely not alone in this. You also have the caring people on this site. Hold on my dear....this is a rough road we walk. We are here to help keep you afloat. Consider yourself  "hugged"...and I am so much not a huggie type of person.

[ericasmom]

Ahhh, but your hugs are so warm Kate. Huggy-type or not, you have hugged us all over theyears, with your stories and your care and your love.

 

Susan, have fun with the Littlest Man in the house. Enjoy the littlest things with him. thanks for your Rose poem. Wow, in the 80's? Yes, we northerners are shaking in our boots. I managed a walk anyway though, while the sun was low in the sky. It was very quiet out, hardly anyone out in such weather. I had fun with my little wonders today, tired by now however.

 

Becky, that is a gorgeous sunset photo,I see your snow has disappeared. We may get snow tomorrow, a bit anyhow. We gained 9 minutes of sunlight this week, so that old sunset is a minute later today than yesterday. We welcome that for sure.

 

Georgina, James is a beauty for sure. His smile kinda reminds me of Brad Pitt. Oh many, I am sorry taht your Daughter has shingles. I thought I had them earlier in the week and was grateful when the doctor said it was just an inflamed nerve in my face, but oh, that is painful. I sure hope your Daughter heals quickly and can get through the shingles with less pain than some experience. Did you get the vaccine?

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Happy Valentines to all! Saw this today and wanted to share.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

https://youtu.be/AlQ_NFshdSI

This is my niece's kids that were here during Christmas. Little Harvey is so funny! You are right, these little personalities are such a welcome treat!

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thinking of everyone here...been reading along...

 

Sorry Georgina to read that you are struggling with the health issues...I just noticed now that your James was only a few months older than Jesse...

 

Kate, thanks for the remark on Jesse's cactus hugging...

 

Been working away on my friend's business stuff...I found out this week she will need chemo after all...my mom didn't think the type she needed was too bad...(my mom had breast cancer after my sister passed)...

 

I had to tell my husband we have a temperature range on this forum from -22 f to 80 degrees...almost a 100 degree difference!

 

Thank you to all who come here, it has truly made a difference in my life. 

 

[daveydow1]

Dee----- So glad that you don't have shingles, but the inflamation in

the nerve sounds painful.  Take care, and hope you are recovered

from it very soon.

 

Kate---- Yes...I believe that the fox lives in the woods just next to

the cornfield.  It is so exciting to see him. He/she looks to be a young

one. I imagine that it was out hunting, as it would be easy for it to

spot prey in the snow.  So nice that you feed the birds.....they seem to

love the black-oil sunflower seeds.  My husband has a suet cake out

for the woodpeckers, and also has seeds out for the other birds. All

kinds seem to be coming now that there is a pretty good snow cover.

 

Georgina------ So nice that you have the company of robins when you

visit your dear James' grave.  When we go to the cemetery, we see and

hear lots of crows in the area of Dave's grave......it's next to a big woods.

We don't see them often at Lisa's grave, which is a distance from Dave's

grave.....although in the same cemetery.  It's an old cemetery (parts of it),

so there are many trees for birds to live.  Hope that you are feeling better.

 

 

 

WISHING   PEACE   AND   COMFORT    TO   ALL   INDIGOS. 

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

[Sholl1955]

Georgina, You said that it feels like you are in a "deep dark hole" and those are the words that I use to describe my journey also.  In the beginning I struggled to pull myself up out of that hole and would make a bit of progress, take a few steps upward, and then would slide back down.   I also felt as if I would not survive this.   As time goes on I discovered that I began to not slide back down as far and it would not take as long to regain my footing and continue on the upward trend. At some point I was even able to look back and see how far I had come.   It does takes time though to be able to see that.  I don't necessarily believe that the pain gets any easier, but I am learning how to integrate it into who I am and accept the fact that it will always be with me on this earth. I think of Sarah every single day and sometimes I slide way far back down that hole. In fact today was one of those days. I don't say that to discourage you, because even though the pain can knock us down in a heartbeat, we will get back on our feet and work our way back up and live the life that we have before us.  I also am able when I slide back down to stay there for a bit and let myself feel what I need to feel, before I start back up.  There will always be those in our lives who want us to "be over" our loss, but we all know that will never happen and I am trying to learn to accept the "new me" and not worry about those who do not and cannot understand.   This site has been a life saver for me as I have received so much support and have been able to hang onto the fact that we do survive when we cannot believe we can, by hearing from those who are ahead of us in a journey none of us every wanted .  One day we will be with our loved ones again.  Until then, I am very grateful to everyone here. Only those who have experienced this loss can truly understand.    Have a restful evening.

 

Sandy

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Snowing again!Brrrr

. .

[ericasmom]

Just came in from a long winter walk, birds chirping in the freshly fallen snow, which of course I love. We had a white Valentines day and now, President's Day. I'll take it as long as the temperatures allow for walking and sledding adn today, they do.

 

Sandy, good to see you. How are your Grandies and how is your husband doing these days? I am happy to hear that you have found yourself incorporating your grief into your life, a part of you now. And finding what you can when you are down is a good way to face your deep sadness I think.

 

Becky, nice photos but yes, this is cold for your area.

 

Sherry, I am sure happy that I do not have shingles, I now have the meds for the next cold sore. This one is taking a long while to go away.

[InHeavensKeeping]

Hi thank you all for your words of support. Sandy I so feel every word your saying and it's true the others here further along in this journey, that we all dispair being on do give glimmers of hope that there can be a future. This site for me has kept me going through the darkest days of my life also thank you Sandy X

Sherry when we visit Peters grave we never see any wildlife as in in the centre of a big city. It is huge whereas the one where James is is small and in a more rural area. I love seeing the robins I know james sends as signs to us. Thank you Sherry X

Hi Laurie yes just a few months we have our big day tomorrow with our new solictor. It's going to be so hard as we have to go over statements I haven't read before and photos we haven't seen. I've been sick tonight my coughs still bad but I thinks it's nerves X

Dee all James ,s friends used to call him Brad. They still do. Especially in his university days. I remember he took me to a Tearooms in Nottingham once when he was studying there and the waitress thought he was famous. So funny Gemma's ok Dee Thankyou she has it mild but both the baby and her have this terrible virus that I've got. The baby's been sent twice this week to A&E by the doctor. Thanks Dee X

Hi Kate yes he's on quite a large amount of tablets to keep him well. The doctors referring him back to the mental health teams again for a review Kate the last part of your post is what we find the hardest. I'm fortunate as I have all of the parents on here for support and a counsellor who try's but she's not walked in my shoes so hard for her to help. But that's it we've become quite isolated no friends visit or family it's like we've lost all them as well and it makes us feel we've done something wrong people avoid us Kevin said today " I feel so low and guilty I miss james so much and I just can't seem to see the good in anything anymore". So sad were all in pieces I don't feel strong my younger daughters just lost her new job and is so stressed now I have that to deal with as well. Thank you Kate for my hug it really helped xx

Gid Bless everyone stay safe much love Georgina xx

[Jeff's Mom]

Georgina, we all know how difficult it is to find a place where we can function reasonably after losing a child. You know we clip along in our daily lives before not even thinking of the unimaginable. Losing a child. We rightly or wrongly assume that we have a decent network of supportive family and friends. It often comes as a complete surprise when we learn that much to our dismay...we are  frequently let down by others. Our society does not know how to deal with the comfort part of helping someone after they lose a special person in their lives. Often they are afraid they will say the wrong thing...or just feel so awkward that they draw away. Many of us on this site have experienced that very thing. It is at that time that we take a step back and ask ourselves how to successfully reach out. Often someone will say to get help...and that is always good if you are able to do that. What we are never taught  about grieving is to ask...what can I do to help. I am hear to listen if you want to talk. Tell me about your child. That for me is the most important thing. Yes, my son is dead. But he will always be alive within my heart. And I will carry him safely within that place until I meet him again. With all of those treasured memories...and laughs, tears, everything.

 

It may not seem like it right now...but you will survive this pain. It will slowly ease. Look after yourself. HUGS!

[ericasmom]

Beautifully stated Kate, your words and heart are shining a light for everyone else to see.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

These are gifts from my daughter, Jasmine!

The jar in front is a jar filled with 100 paper hearts with reasons why she loves me! Omg. How sweet is that?

She is such a treasure. Here is her selfie...

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Georgina, you will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I will pray for God to give you strength. I know this journey, it's excruciating, but whether or not justice is served, you must know you move forward through the pain and tears to honor your son. Sending thoughts of peace for you and yours, and big hugs, and I am a huggy person! Lol

I hope you all get my sense of humor sometimes. Looking for the bright side in things has carried me through a lot in my lifetime.

I so appreciate all of you here, in particular our leaders, those who have walked this path with us for so long. There are many names I don't see anymore, perhaps they only read, but Dee, Kate, Colleen, Sherry, are ones that were here since before I found this place in 2011; not knowing what to do or feel after losing my youngest son. I posted in the wrong place at first, but was gently directed here. What a godsend! I mean you feel awful for each loss represented, but to know someone else really understands what you are going through, is and was, priceless.

[Shannon-Trista'sMom]

Hi Guys.... Just wanted to stop in and say... I've missed you all.... I'm having a really hard time right now... I hate to only come here when I'm struggling... it's just been really busy... I don't even know what to say... just miss you all and this place..

 

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Hey Shannon! Good to see you here, but sorry if you're going through a rough patch. It's so hard. Love and hugs to you. When you can, tell us what's going on with you and your family.

[Shannon-Trista'sMom]

Thank you, Becky! The Boys are doing great. I am trying... I think for so long I was 'distracted' with the urgent needs of others and now... Things just hit me really hard sometimes. I miss my Girl so much. I know you all get that. It's been a rough winter. We have had so much bad weather lately with all the storms from the east. Zak hasn't had school in over a week because of it. I'm sure cabin fever is part of it. I need sun... I need to be able to work at Trista's site and in her garden. I have been busy. I have four goats now and lots of rabbits... not sure how many because we just had babies and Momma is keeping them hidden . I also have my chickens. Between all the animals and homeschooling Aiden, I stay busy. That helps a lot. I'm going to spend some time reading today and catching up with all of you. That always helps.

[TearsInHeaven]

x

 

[Mermaid Tears]

Shannon.....many on this site think and care for you and your boys...in fact....I think you and Debbie are the two parents that I had and have the most concern for.....in that not only did you have to deal with this crushing grief...but your circumstances and situations......sent up a red flag. I am going to be honest in saying that I think both of you had snarky...and hateful people in your circle that did not wish you well.

   I, for one, was very happy to hear you moved yourself and your boys to 'another place'....a place where the boys can grow...and you can heal....in peace. You are an amazing woman and Mama....and although the weather and winter has been brutal...we know you are taking care of those boys...and what a 'farm' you have. I know how depressing a brutal winter can be...I have had friends that lived up North that described how it seems to bear down on the spirit. Spring will come...we all think of your Trista ...and will never forget her and her Mama.

[Mermaid Tears]

Georgina...please give us an update when you can....

[Waynes78]

So, I am still having some ups but mostly downs. I know this is probably going to be this way for a long time. With that being said, I have been doing my on investigation into what happened with my son. My son was not dumb. I know in my heart and gut he did not knowingly drink something like racing alcohol. The local police are simply calling it an accidental death. But they are only going off of what they have heard from a few boys. They are lazy and I think they are trying to protect the person that they got the drink from. Because it is a person that has lived in our small little town forever. I have talked to several of Logans friends and they all say that Logan would not have drank it if he had known. But the other boy had drank it before and lied to people about what it was. There are a lot of questions that our incompetent police haven't even ask. So, I ask them today. And the assistant chief was getting nervous as I ask these hard questions.

First off, I want to get to the bottom of this and know if my son knew what he drank. Secondly, I want to clear his name from the damage that the news media did. They used his name and pictures without my permission. They made him a poster boy for something they knew nothing about. And then, of course, there were all of the idiots responses to this. And also, if the person they got this from either gave it to them knowing what it was he should be held responsible.

Maybe I am wasting my time, but I feel in my heart that Logan did not know.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Wayne, I am so sorry that you face this battle, but I totally understand, as my son's death was also misrepresented by the media and as a result there were blogs and ugly comments both toward my son and towards myself and my husband as parents. I remember being so infuriated because they did not know me or know my child, or even the circumstances of how close he was to home when hit and killed, much less any of the wrongdoing if the driver. I think you are right to pursue truth and justice. It may be obtainable if these witnesses are willing to testify against the person who is responsible for giving them the drink. The best case scenario would be if that responsible party would admit what they did wrong. In our case the authorities we're not willing to file a charge unless they were 100% sure they could win. I never expected it to be that way. We have the satisfaction due to the civil suit we filed and the use of a private reconstructionist, to be able to piece together the timeline of that night. It wasn't the outcome I had hoped for, but we had to be satisfied that we had tried to do the best that we could do. No amount of justice will ever bring our children back to us, but I understand completely your desire to clear his name. Involve the media, get your sons story out there from your perspective, and continue to pressure the police as far as their pursuit of the person responsible to be properly interviewed. Maybe if there is enough social pressure the police will move to do something. I will pray for you for your strength in all of this, and just know your son loves you and is proud of you for standing where he is no longer able to stand in his own defense.

Shannon, I too pray for the spring to come, as I find lack of sunshine and the ability to get out and about crucial to our mental state of mind. Hugs to you my friend and to those precious boys. It was good to see Trista's smiling face.

[Waynes78]

I should also say that I am not trying to excuse the fact that Logan was drinking at all, because I am definitely not. I did not accept or condone drinking at all. And actually did not know that he was drinking. He had never came home drinking or smelling of alcohol.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Wayne, no more than I would have condoned my son skateboarding on this road near dusk! They were just kids. I doubt strongly your son drank that concoction knowingly either. If either of our sons really knew the danger of their actions, they would not have endangered themselves. Hang in there.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Wayne, I remember when I was about 12 and the neighbor girl had someone drop acid in her milk without her knowledge. She was ill for weeks afterwards. Perhaps a private investigator may help?

 

Shannon, how nice to see Trista's face. I am sorry you are in such a dark place right now. Hugs.

 

Dianne, good to see your post. Thanks for the kind mention.

 

Dee, I recently enrolled Benton in a Nursery school program...he seems to be really benefiting from the structured program the school offers.

 

My computer keeps freezing up here...so I better sign off for now.

 

Thinking of everyone tonight and sending gentle thoughts.

 

 

 

 

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Georgina, we are anxiously awaiting word of how your meeting went. I know that when we were going through this battle that often I would be fine during the actual meetings, holding it together and offering suggestions as well as questions as to how to proceed. It wouldn't be until hours afterward or maybe even days that some of the content of those meetings would hit me like a brick. It is indeed a labor of love. Praying for your strength.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

URGENT!!! Good evening Family & Friends URGENT!!! These are photos of our loved one. My family & myself would like for your help in trying to find him. His name is Robert "Bobby" Durham & he has been missing since Monday traveling back to Pa. from Texas driving a gold/tan saturn. His last known stop was in Virginia traveling on 81 N. As u know there was inclement weather on Monday & we just need some help trying to find him. Anyone from Texas all the way to Pa please please be on the lookout. Contact # 484 479 6764

*********†**************

This missing person is my husband's nephew. He has not been heard from since Monday, and his sister living in Pennsylvania is frantic. Texas State Police as well as Virginia State Police have been notified with as much information as she knew, and hopefully they will follow up. What is not mentioned in this post that was sent out on Facebook is that in the last phone call he seemed worried that someone was following him and a bit disoriented as to his location. His phone goes straight to voicemail. Please share the first part of this post on your facebook if you have it, and please pray that he will be found safe.

This is Bobby.

[Mermaid Tears]

Becky....please keep us posted of any updates....pray he is found safe.

[Mermaid Tears]

Wayne...I wanted to send you a message after reading your post yesterday but never got the time to answer in full....

 

When I read your first post...and then the article from the paper....a red flag was flying high for me....and many questions came to mind....first ....I believe with all I have that your Logan did not know what was in the drink....I believe the person that gave it to him knew full well what was in it....he really committed a murder....also....you said another boy died...and another was sick from it. Was there an autopsy...??

    This is advice from me...just me....giving you some insight from what I know.

Please hire a Private Investigator/ Detective....believe me...they have connections with 'street people' that you would never meet in a 1,000 years. They also network with other P.I.....and they can cut your footwork by months. They can find information that you could never uncover on your own.

    My grandmother had a saying...'If there is one....there is some'....and I do believe there is a lot of truth to be uncovered with the death of your SONshine boy. I believe there are many people that know the truth that has not come out.

 

We understand the 'why' this is important to you....for a parent doesn't want to leave one stone unturned in finding out all the circumstances and situations surrounding their child in their last moments...hours...days...our love for our child continues and grows...even after they leave this earth home. Your love for your child will guide you forward.

   As for now...yes....you will have more down days than up days....time will have a different 'tick-tock' to it....you will find yourself in two worlds....the 'before and after'.....a 'that was then...this is now'. Just be reminded that this is a time to be very kind and respectful to yourself....this is not a race for the fittest....or fastest....or strongest. This is a grief journey. Take it one  day at a time.

[Mermaid Tears]

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Becky, can you have them track his cell phone? Every cell phone now includes GPS coordinates...I believe there is software to do this as well...

[ericasmom]

Oh Becky, I do so hope that your relative will be found safe, though this is many days later and the worry seems to imply that he would never not let folks know where and how he was. Prayers. There was that huge pile-up in PA last week...have they called the hospitals in the areas he was last known to be???someone unconcious...a JOhn Doe?

 

Laurie, I hope that the nursery school serves your Little Grandman well. I used to teach at a great Nursery School, so much fun. My Grandies are doing okay now that they are aclamated to day care at the center that they are enrolled though my Grandgirl is showing some huge signs of aggression at home. I worry that something there is causing her upset and it comes out through actions...she is also 2.5 and going through those tantrums, she is resisting potty-training and all of this together could just be here  reacting to the pressures of behaving at school and letting it all out at home.

 

[InHeavensKeeping]

Hi I'm so sorry for the delay in replying but I've been really struggling since the meeting on Tuesday.

It was so hard to go through the facts of the accident bit by bit every single detail we were spared looking at the photos our solictor felt it would be too much.

The police have made so many errors in their investigations at the scene it's absolutely shocking to have to sit and listen to it. I feel devistated that my son was treated with utter disregard and the truck driver was just able to walk away.

It's a big mess and very hard to sort out. By law every fatal road death has to be treated as an unlawful killing until proven otherwise. This was not followed in our case. We really need a forensic investigation which would cost about ten thousand pounds and we don't have that.

The solicitor is going to help us but he said that there is not a lot of money to be had in any civil claim as James wasn't married or had children. I tried to explain that I Do Not Want Any Money just the Truth and Justice for James.

After going through it all again it Felt like the life has been sucked out of us. We felt So heavy and laden with unjustice of it all. We feel like we're up against a brick wall and stuck not able to take even the tiniest step forward. It's so hard trying to fight when all the fight has gone out of you. But we knew this would be hard it's just were so worn down its hard to keep positive if that's the right word.

Thank you all for caring so much all the hugs and prayers God Bless Xx

Becky I hope so much your relative can be found safe and well xx

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thank you all for your prayers and concern, Bobby has been found alive and somewhat well, he was in a car accident in West VA, and then left the scene ( no other vehicle, just lost control) and had started walking down interstate, he was picked up and evaluated and taken to a mental health facility! Whew, what a relief!!