Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2016 For our emotional and physical health.....we must listen to our hearts and our intuition....we will know when healing has let a tiny, tiny ray of light in our lives... We will also learn that we will never be the same.....and part of the irrational tug we have with ourselves is we try so hard to get back on that balance we had before we lost our child...I have to accept that I will never be that person again...this is a real struggle for me ...not all the time....but for some part of every day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2016 Becky it gives me shivers reading about how the justice system let you down. We are having the same experience we've got a fight on our hands but we will not give up. Now we found a solicter to help us he has found so many inaccuracies basically it's like the police couldn't be bothered to investigate properly I just don't get it. Why. Susan Kate thank you for your words of comfort and for all on here(Dee Sherry) that guide and help us. I really don't know what I would do without it. Every night this is the place I come to I know I don't say much but I read and pray for everyone here and all our angles. Gretchen the baby memorial is beautiful I would of loved to have that for my baby Peter that died. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Gretchen...that was such a kind gesture to give that mom some assistance...what a tribute full of love in that marker. I had wondered how color was added to as I have been seeing that lately. Becky, that post with Eyore spoke volumes. I had a conversation with the pastor from the church we had attended not that long ago. He called to ask where we had been, since our attendance dropped off. I told him that with child loss, it is hard for others to accept that this is something that will never be "fixed" in this life. And I don't want to make some else uncomfortable, though too, I don't want to put on a mask for someone else either. It is a rare person who can just be with someone...and just be present. Dee, how are things down in Chicagoland? We just got back from my mom's, yesterday was not so bad but today it started to drop and drop. Though we are no match for Kate up there north of our border! The fish are probably froze solid in that lake. Susan, I got a chance to show my mom a picture of the goddess angel statute when I was down. She never saw anything like that either. She has a small army of angels in her house...and her Mother Mary in the living room. Georgina, thanks for sharing the song from Whitney H. I have a special place for her...and her daughter that joined her later. Sherry, thanks for sharing the backyard pics. The other day, my mom said they had another critter visit them. (They feed the squirrels, birds, and the dog next door now). However, a coy-wolf showed up. It is a mix from the coyote and wolf that some suburbs have been having issues with. I guess it was very pretty...but I am not sure I want it 20 feet from my front door. Dianne, thanks for the screenshot. How nice it is to see your boy's handsome smile. I am including a link again for those newer, to a Alan Wolfelt book, Companioning the Bereaved. He was one of the authors I came across early on that gave the right advice to those who want to help mourners. But I find from reading his material, it is a reminder to me, that it is okay, not to be okay. Here is the link to Google Books.https://books.google.com/books/about/Companioning_the_Bereaved.html?id=PAICBAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&hl=en#v=onepage&q&f=false As I scanned his book, I found myself reflected in those words Alan penned. There is quite a bit of reading material in the above link so the preview of the book is larger than most. His style and philosophy deeply resonates with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Becky, crazy people are everywhere.....so little regard for others, I'm considering learning how to shoot a gun........my sister carries one in her purse & it actually came in handy not too long ago....she came out of a coffee shop one evening to find a large man standing by her car, we think he saw her go in, this man told her to give him everything in her purse but she asked him to move away from her car, he didn't comply & again asked for her stuff.....she said "ok" & went into her purse & pulled out her gun & told him to get away from her car or she would shoot! He quickly left the scene.....we are small women , under 5 ft but we've learned to be tough.....Georgina good to hear that something may be going your way in the investigation ......you have certainly been persistent...good for you......I have no clear evidence in my case so I'm trying to resolve my anger by relying on faith.....We were in Indiana over the weekend, checking on the house, hasn't sold but it's only been up since thanksgiving & not much activity over holidays....it was hard to be there.....the house where my beautiful Michael died.......I found myself on my knees again cradling his clothes, kissing the shoes he last wore...... God will this pain never end.....Thank you Susan, Sherry, Dee......I've been reading posts but not always writing.....I read because I need the hope you all bring to me...to so many of us......Gretchen , the babies monument is simply beautiful ....I remember the monument you did for Forest, so loving......I'm almost done with ordering Michaels.....I know I've waited a long time but I couldn't seem to do it while I was living in Indiana & I'm glad I didn't because we now have decided to not only have a cameo of Michael but we are going to have a family photo with the four of us, including his brother Chris, laser etched on the headstone.....Chris loves the idea....had to make sure he didn't feel weird about his picture on the headstone.....this came about when the counselor we have been working with asked "what did Michael love to do" ........my son cherished us above all else......his love for family & spending time with family is what he loved best..... The headstone is also for my husband & I , so it's fitting that our picture is there with my precious son.....still can't believe any of this.....Peace my friendsFrancesca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Becky, I thought of your Jared tonight as I saw this photo. Francesca, good to see your post tonight. Picking out our child's memorial marker is a huge milestone. Sending you peace tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Sharing these photos today.....this was over the Houston skies yesterday...oh how I wish I had seen it....a message from Heaven for all of us ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 Hello Beautiful Friends, I am at the Grandies house and have been here since Friday night, overnight 3 nights and fun-filled exhausting days as my Son and DIL spend time in New Orleans, though on thier way back now. We are pooped. Absolutely exhausted. If it had been outdoor weather it would have been a bit less strenuous but this icy chill that has our wind-chills at danger zone levels for 2.5 days have left us all a bit over done on being house bound. We bundled them up yesterday and went to the library where there are many toys and things to do and then from there, bundled again to the Choo-Choo restaurant where a train pulls baskets around a track to deliver the orders. Before you eat there are several things to play with that are train-themed and so the kids were delighted and so happy to be out of the house, me too. We all ate well and went home for some book reading and a deep sleep. Ahhh. They are napping now so I must get some homework done but just wanted to check in with you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 19, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Diann, I know that we are lucky to have the kids just three blocks away, I don't ever take that fact lightly. I am thrilled that you were able to see your Daughter and I pray that she and the family will be able to move back in close proximity to you. Susan, I love those hearts in the skies over Huston. Thank you Angels! Gretchen, I agree with Francesca and others when they say it was so good of you to help this young Momma. The memorial is a lovely and heartfelt tribute to the beautiful Girl. Laurie, so many of us no longer attend formal church services after a child dies. I left my church years earlier due to working every Sunday when I was single and making ends meet by waitressing Saturday nights and Sunday mornings in addition to two other days. The church that I had joined though, was a very open and affirming place, it was like no other expereince that I had had in formal religion...it was a Congregational Church and the main idea was outreach. Lovely. It is where we returned for Eri's funeral. Could not imagine anywhere but there. Sherry, if our weather is coming to you, get out the long-johns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted January 19, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 I saw a picture of the little girl stillborn at about 7 or 8 mos being held by her big sisters. Really felt for this mom who could not afford to purchase that marker. She had a drawing of what she wanted. I also had to have a go fund me also so i really wanted to help her. Fracesca-! really like the idea of your whole family on your son's marker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 19, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Becky----So sorry about the scary incident Jasmine had with the crazy driver. I hope that the cops are around there sometime, so that they could catch him in the act of his aggressive driving. It's so dangerous. Susan----thanks for the lovely screen shots. It's so true.....part of us went with our angels....but part of them stayed with us...always. YIKES...a coy-wolf. I know I'd be a bit apprehensive about it too. Have there been others sighted in your area? We have coyotes around here, but rarely, if ever, see one. We hear them though....yowling. Dee----BRRrrrrr. It sure is frigid here, too. Must get out today and take our kitty to the vet. She has a sore toe...( of all things ). She must have injured it somehow by jumping around or getting her claw caught on something. Can't really tell too much. Cats are notorious for not letting you look at any problem they're having. She's been limping, and licking her paw, so time to take her to the vet to see what the problem could be. So nice that you had time with your grandies while Jon and Shannon were in New Orleans. I, so, know what you mean about it being a lovely experience, yet also exhausting. Little ones sure have the energy, and adults tire out, while the tots still have energy to spare. Francesca----Thanks for your kind words. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 19, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 Susan the Angel screen shot is beautiful I wish too I could of seen it. Laurie thank you. I came across that song the other day. It's beautiful I was so sad for her and really felt for her daughter and what she had to cope with she just wanted to be with her mamma. Thank you for the link I've started already started reading the preview pages. Francesca I'm happy for you that you have your faith. I'm still struggling with mine, I will be thinking of you as you buy your grave marker today xxxIt's early days for our case I don't know how much success we will have but we've got to try my son deserves that. Thank you God Bless Georgina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 19, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2016 R. I. P. Glenn Frey AN EAGLE FOREVER. I'm sad to hear of that Glenn Frey has died. The Eagles have alwaysbeen my all-time favorite band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 https://youtu.be/ufTf6fs2NCc I have forgot how to 'paste' songs....but this is a video of Glenn Frey singing 'True Love'....now....when John David and Jason were in High School in Portland, Texas....they had a huge bedroom upstairs....and a TV, couch....and they would watch MTV...they would come and get me to watch certain videos....this is one.....when I watch it...a portal opens and I can see the room....the bedspreads...couch...tables...posters on the wall.....and my boys....if I sat on a couch all day...I would never be able to have that clear memory....but music and smell can place me back there.....I hope you enjoy this....I remember John David saying to me...'Mom..you can dance better than any of them'..... John David certainly has some good company.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Sing loud and dance David and Glenn- our Children will delight in your music as they did here with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Dee------ I agree.....all of our dear angels have a lot of 'rock & roll'company in heaven. For those angels who really loved any musicand was passionate about the bands and their members.....following all the music they loved.....dabbling in guitarplaying or other instruments,...........they must be having a wonderful time up there jamming and hanging out with allthe rock stars who have joined them in eternal peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 I was so sad too. I loved the Eagles. James brought My husband and I tickets to see them live on their last tour in Britain. It was amazing such a special thing for him to do. James loved his music I'm sure he's rocking with the best up their too. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 Georgina...I, too, saw the 'Hell Freezes Over' tour.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 I keep imagining that the phone will ring, and you will say "can you come and get me"? Eye surgery is done, and I am wearing a big pirates cover over my eye, looks ridiculous, no pain except that in my heart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 Becky....what a great photo of your SONshine boy.....glad the surgery is over...now....you focus on healing...one day at a time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 Dianne....John David was an amazing music historian...he had so many stories of who was playing what on some song or album...I learned a lot from him.... Now....I, too, have woke up with a song running through my heart and thoughts.....one morning...I woke up to this 'song' I did not know....recognize.....later that day I got on youtube and typed in some of the lyrics...and it was 'Simple Man' by Lynard Skynard...I am sure I had heard that song....I guess it was in the background with the boys growing up 'somewhere'....but it seemed I was hearing it for the first time.... another morning....it was 'Wild Wild Horses' by the Stones...and from then on....no matter what station I would play...those songs came on.... I am so glad you got to see your daughter 'in person'....and yes....there were many days and nights I had too much time on my hands and too much time to think....and those are the times I call 'when all the boogie men come out of the closet'....we had our new little man born in Dec. 2012.....I got my hands busy creating many 'personal' gifts for him...his room...painted lots of furniture..... Years ago my Aunt...who is an amazing cook...told me..'when I am blue or stressed out I just get in the kitchen cooking and then I feel so good'.....when I heard that I thought..'if I ever wanted to have a nervous breakdown..that is what I would do'.... well....I started 'cooking'....all these dishes and freezing them for my son's family....being busy and having a newborn...I knew they could really use those home cooked meals....and I lived too far to cook for them every night....then....I decided if women could bake bread going across America in Conestoga wagons....then I could learn to bake bread in my kitchen...so I taught myself how to bake many types of bread...no bread machine....and I have a favorite of everyone..it is called 'Crusty Bread'.....some nights I make 3 batches....and give it all away to family and friends....(I will post the recipe)... I also bought a treadmill for my house....I would walk in the parks but there is a memory under every tree....we set it up in the guest bedroom/art studio...and I watch Netflix and Amazon....I walk at least 3 miles a day....to help with my insomnia...I have watched lots of good documentaries...have got another kind of education.... this is called surviving......one day at a time.....I am just letting all the parents on this site know of some things I do to 'help myself'.....if any helps you....I hope it can help you make it one day at a time.... I do have my apartments....my big family....friends....these things I do are for 'me'....I know I have to help myself.... I hope you can stay put and not go out in that weather....in Texas we call it 'Hunker Down'.....peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 21, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 Dianne, how heart touching to receive your sign from Michael. I have heard so many of these experiences...they are a treasure indeed. Dee, your weekend with the grandkids sounded exhausting...when we have both of my youngest son's children here I am so tired on Monday. Becky, thank you for sharing Jared's picture with us all here. It is beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Susan I think the screen shot writing that Lexi wrote was brilliant. Exactly how it is. I have always reached out to others who were grieving, before this happened to me. But I realise now I wasn't even scratching the surface. But I tried. But you have yo go through it to heal and I think every single one of us is going through it without a doubt but are we healing.......I couldn't remember the name Susan but that was the one (Hell Freezes Over)! that was back when my heart was light and happy and I was sailing through my life with lots of struggles and heartbreaks but I picked myself up and started again and always prayed "as long as you keep my family safe and sound, I don't mind the rest".Dianne how lucky to have a sign I'm glad for you and the comfort it afforded you. XxBeck 'stunning' such a memerizing picture of your sweet child.. Get better soon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Ah Laurie it sounds so hard. I'm sorry your having to go through more. Keep going and being strong your such an inspiration to us all. I hope it goes well gxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Laurie..my friend...I am going to post the 'things' that has happened to me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Laurie...Randa and I both posted photos of the Sea Angel on FB.....and on Christmas Eve and New Years Day we had a gathering of friends....I cooked a huge pot of Seafood Gumbo ...(with the crabs we caught at Port 'A')...on Christmas Eve...and on New Years day we smoked some meat...we gave each other a Smoker for Christmas...with the traditional Black Eye peas and cabbage. All our friends wanted to see the Sea Angel....and I told the story of how you found it and sent it to me....she was/is a big hit....and I told them about your Jesse David...and the coincidence of the dates....names. I posted my story of the 'whistle'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 here is the Crusty Bread recipe...will post later...busy now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Susan------ I admire your energy. Your homemade bread sounds so good,and I bet the people receiving it really likes it. Most people don't makeit without a bread machine anymore. I made bread years ago and one loafmust have weighed 6 lb. Walking 3 mi. a day is such a healthful thing to do. I, so, know what you mean about memories underevery tree walking outdoors, so the treadmill is an excellent substitute. Wehad a treadmill once....a non-motorized type. It soon gathered dust inthe basement, and my son-in-law sold it at their garage sale several yearsago. I've always liked "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones too. Ilike the song "Against the Wind" by Bob Seeger. There's one line init that says..........."Wish I didn't know now,..... what I didn't know then".Although the song was written by Bob Seeger, that line was given tohim by Glenn Frey. Great song. Becky----Glad your eye surgery is over with, and hope you are recuperatingwell with it. Thanks for the pic of your dear son JD. He is a handsomeyoung man with beautiful eyes. The Storm that's hitting The Washington DC, and Baltimore area hasmissed us....thank goodness. We were on the northern edge of the areawhere it is to come through. I hope it doesn't shift and hit us throughoutthe night. I want to go visit my mom tomorrow.......her 96th birthday. PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 22, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2016 Sherry....I find that when I walk on the treadmill...I can sleep longer...although I was up at 3:30 last night or rather..this morning....it is catch as catch can....I will settle for some sleep rather than none....many of us are going into our 4th year...and I wonder how I will be on this part of the journey...one day at a time... I didn't know that about the song and words....I love music history....it is so intermingled with all the artists...I watched a documentary on Netflix...(while I walk)....about Keith Richards...and both he and Mick loved Chuck Berry and Muddy Waters...and that is the 'sound' they wanted when they started....when I was a teen...I liked the Rolling Stones better than the Beatles....my Southern Blues DNA.... I was thinking of all my Northern Sisters this morning while I watched the news....I can not imagine going through something like the Blizzard that is covering such a large part of the Eastern states....do ya'll have generators for when the power goes out for a long time ? Many in Texas do in case of a hurricane....we are ok in this part of Texas... I hope you get to go see your little Mama tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Susan----I liked the Stones better than the Beatles too. I saw them a couple timesin concert. Great shows. I'm going to try putting on a pic........(if I can find it ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Deer resting in the woods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 God Bless everyone finding this journey so hard. I miss my boy more than I can express xxGone Too Soon Too xx❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Waynes78 Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Yesterday my ex wife called me hysterically crying telling me that our baby was gone. When I got there he was laying in his bed lifeless. We found out later last night that him and two other boys had drank some sort of racing fuel. Trying to be "cool" I can only guess. My son is was 16 by the way. One of the other boys is on life support and the other one is ok. My son, Logan was the best son a man could dream of having. He liked to hunt and fish. He liked to watch football. Now I don't have him. My heart is broken and I cannot imagine the rest of my life without him. I cannot understand why he is gone from me. He was my everything. We were best friends. How do I go on living without him? Someone please explain where I go from here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Becky, what a beautiful picture of Jared....so sweet....Our angels are in good company ....Michael's favorite hobbies/topics all revolved around music & movies..... He loved rap music & admired Notorious B.I.G. (Christopher Wallace).....he was murdered in 1997 & was only 24 yrs old.......one of Michaels favorite CDs was Life after Death......he also loved James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano).....idk ......I wish he would have preferred church music......everything had to be edgy with him... ..Diane, how amazing your experience must have been......I'm not sure how I would react if that happened to me......I just want to dream of him but he just won't visit me.....I'm so sad again.... Some days have been better but I sometimes just tell myself that he's gone on a mission & he's helping others & I won't be able to see him for a long time.... It's too hard.....I see him so clearly..,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 duplicated. sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Waynes78, I am so sorry for the loss of your son and that you had need to be here, but we are here to help you in any way we can.I lost my 15 year old son on October 3rd 2011. I know how devastating a sudden loss seemingly without meaning is. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time. This place brought comfort and guidance to my soul that I found nowhere else.Keep coming back as often as you need to, tell us about your boy, your angel. Take good care of yourself and just know that we are wrapping arms of love around you right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Waynes78 Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Is there anyone out there that can help me make any sense of why my son left me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Waynes78, What I feel is that he didn't realize the danger of his actions, which is common for kids in that age group, they feel invincible. Has anyone else that was around the boys at that time said anything about whose idea it was? I feel your pain. I spent months trying to figure out the how's and whys of my son's death, and found out some facts that helped me have a clearer picture of what happened, but I wore myself down to the point my health really took a dive, and none of it could bring him back. The best I could do was to find ways to honor his memory. You are in shock right now, and that's going to last for a while. Some here have referred to that status as wearing the shock suit which eventually will get a little looser.There are others here who have lost children around the same age as our sons. I am sure they will post and add to what I have said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Waynes78,I am so sorry for the loss of your 16 year old son. My son was also 16 when he decided to climb on the hood of a car along with another boy. The 3rd boy drove 68 mph with 2 kids on the hood of his car. The driver lost control and hit a tree. My son flew off and hit the ground. My Brian died within minutes. The other boy survived. The driver is now a convicted Felton.Please do not try to think of your future, it will come soon enough. Right now, in this minute, be kind to yourself. We will deal with the next minute when it comes. This goes on for quite a while until we learn to function in this new life we have been give. Please post on the Loss of an Adult Child thread. My Brian was not an adult, but we were accepted without question. You will too.I have been on this road for 7.5 years and I have learned how to function. We can help you.Colleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Waynes78 I never thought I would say this in my lifetime, that I can speak from experience..... But sadly there is no sense to this at all. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please try to hang on. You've stumbled onto a site where other parents will guide you and listen to you, you can talk or just read others posts, it does help theirs a kind of comfort knowing your not alone and others really do get it. I lost both My Sons, one a baby and the other only 16 months ago. He was knocked over and killed by a 32 ton fully laden truck. A distracted driver. We are having to fight for justice for our Son. My baby died once he was born. I agonise over the Why's, What ifs Try to take care what Colleen and Becky said is so right. God Bless x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Waynes78, I am sorry for the loss of your dear son. These are very traumatic days to get through. There are no adequate words only tears. As to the why, you may find out more later as to why they would ingest such a substance. It is so early and investigations can be slow. I kept in very tight contact with those in authority that worked on my son's case. With your son and his friend, there will be those looming questions that need to have answers found to the best of everyone's ability... Sending gentle thoughts tonight as you face this next week...one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Dianne, thank you for sharing the signs from your son. I treasured everything my son sent and will take anything he and Taylor send. Sherry, sending good thoughts and blessings to you as you share your mom's birthday...wow 96 years old. Becky, the saying on the lion pic is perfect. Thank you for sharing back. In about a month, hopefully we will face the last of the court dates. Susan, thanks for sharing the crusty bread recipe. I will keep it. I did tell my mom about the shared dates thing too. Many synchronicities there. Francesca, are you settled in now after your move? Also, how are things progressing on the work for your son's marker? Georgina, thanks for posting the song...and for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Waynes78------- I'm sorry for your loss of your dear son. As Laurie hassaid.....there are sometimes no words.....only tears and pain. This isespecially true in the early times after such a devastating loss. Pleasecome back here to this site, and read/post as you would want to. Wehave no 'rules' or guidelines as to posting. You will find that thereis a lot of understanding here, and that by sharing grief.....the loadcan be a bit more tolerable to bear when you know that others careunderstand. I, along with Dee, have been here going on 13 years.....having lost our dear angels within a month of each other. Manyothers have been here a long time also, and some are very new onthis grief road. We gain hope and solace from each post that comesthrough, and everyone is welcome here. Peace be with you. Laurie----- thanks for your kind sentiments. My daughter, Becky, and mygrandson, age 11, went to visit my mom today. She was in good spirits andquite upbeat.....Talking and sharing her chocolates with everyone.She said she never expected that she would live to be 96. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I will share one of the stories from the early days of Jesse's transition. My daughter and I had went out to the cemetery. It was a grey day, and the grief was overwhelming to the point I thought I was going to pass out from it or have my heart burst. As we were there offering prayers, by Jesse' s site, directly overhead flew a group of swans. My daughter and I both stood there, it was so unexpected. I have never had seen these birds in our area, this was the first time. And as the swans glided with grace above us, they were singing their song, I also never knew they could do that. It was like they were offering their prayers too for our mourning. When I got home I searched and found there is a lot of mystical meaning to the song of the swan, and that is related to death and passing. It is also quite rare to hear them in song. A few weeks later, another flock flew directly overhead of our home. I have never seen any swans in our area before that time or since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Waynes78 Posted January 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Thank you all for your kind words. I had to go to the funeral home today and set everything up. It was aweful. My son, Logan would light up a room when he walked into it. I could be having a bad day and he would just flash his smile at me and everything would be ok. Now I don't have him here to make everything ok. I don't feel as if my life matters anymore. I know my wife and daughter still need me but I am afraid that I might become a different person now. I have so much anger inside that I feel is about to erupt. And when it does I am afraid of myself and what I might say or do to the person that says the wrong thing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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