Members wgreenlee Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Grief of your child is such a long, arduous journey. I hope this helps. With all my love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 If you go to the link below and then paste any YouTube link in the box at the top, you can save that video to your computer. Videos tend to run better from your computer vs online. http://en.savefrom.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TMDParents Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wade....the video. ..thank you so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wade...beautifully done! Thank you so very much! Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wade, thank you so much for the beautiful video. You bring our Angels together so wonderfully .. I couldn't take my eyes away from it, through the tears I felt so much love from our angels and in your work...Bless You! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wade...we have hearts full of gratitude for all you do for our children... I have been 'insanely busy'....many social gatherings...lots of apartment business...and today is Randa's birthday...and also....the day my Dad died....she consoles herself by saying...'that was the day he went to be with her Mimi'....and that made it alright.....until John David passed.... now...when we pause and look over our shoulder and see the ones that are missing...it brings us up short...and we have to stop and get our breath...stop and count the losses....and the only thing that brings me back ....is to count my blessings... I wish I had time to just sit and have a cry session...but...we have a social gathering tonight that is beyond sad....our friends are celebrating their 50 Wedding anniversary....but...they are bringing him home from M.D. Anderson..this is what he wanted...and so they are having a Come and Go gathering...only very close family and friends...I am very close to them for our daughters have been best friends since 8th grade...I saw their daughter yesterday and she thinks as soon as this is over....he will pass....he is so weak and tired...the whole family is simply worn out...they have asked Randa and I to serve/ watch over the serving tables...and to help greet the guests. this was taken in May of 1995...the year my Mom died... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ktlearn--Stephen's Mom Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wow, Wade...thank you for the video! Thank you for including my son Stephen. Today is the third-month anniversary of his passing, so this was a wonderful gift. Our angels are beautiful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thank you so much Wade for the video. It was a beautiful tribute to all of our angels here. Very well done with so much love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Susan, sending gentle prayers for your friend's homecoming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted June 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thank you Wade the Video is such a loving caring tribute to all our Angels. I could tell how much thought and care you put into every second. I especially loved the connection with the Winnie the Pooh clip. Just perfect. Thank you Much love Geirgina. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Wade, thank you for the this amazing heartfelt video of our angels! I had to stop watching because I couldn't stop crying.....I will finish when my husband goes to bed ....just so beautiful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Wade,Thank you so very very much. Today, for several reasons Sarah has felt so close, yet so far away. Seeing her remembered in your very special, heartfelt video touched my heart deeply. Thank you!!Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Am back home...another bridge to cross...tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 And Wade, I echo all the heartfelt thank yous here. Eri in the pink moon...the music perfect and the Winnie the Pooh start is perfection. Thank you Sweet Man. Susan, what a great photo, filled with love. I am sorry for your friend's homecoming to also be his bon voyage gathering. I wish him a beautiful journey. Hold tight Everyone, there will be smooth days here and there, sprinkled in to remind you that it will not always feel so raw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 DAVEY, Please know that your spirit and your love is ever-present with your Momma and Dad. This date is one that causes such deep sadness, the anniversary of your leaving; 12 years. Please visit your Mom tomorrow on this date, letting her feel your presence and letting her know that you are gloriously peaceful. My Friend Sherry, I am holding your hand and your heart as you and your Family face the calendar again. We are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 DAVEY, surround your Mom and Dad with your loving presence today as they remember many beautiful memories that are so special to them. Sherry, sending loving wishes. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sistergldnhair66 Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry, thinking of you today. (((((hugs)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry..Thinking of you .. may you feel Davey today and everyday you and your angel are dear to our hearts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 DAVEY - FILL YOUR MOM WITH HOPE PEACE AND LOVE ON YOUR ANGELVERSARY DAY!PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO YOU TODAY, SHERRY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry....you are always 'there' with words of comfort and healing for all the parents...we so appreciate the fact that you knew you could help so many by staying on this site...we have hearts of gratitude for you and Dee....our 'Spirit Guides'...waving to us....that we can survive...but that we will experience sharp pain...dark days...heavy grief...and that we aren't going crazy...we are just in mourning. Dee posted something awhile back...I may not get the wording just right but I will try..'We never accept the death of our child...we do accept they no longer walk on this earth home'...Prayers that you and yours will wrap your arms around each other for comfort and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Davey- find a way to hug your mom and dad today because this day will always be the most difficult to face. Wade- the video was beautiful. Off to Texas for work. Hopefully no more storms out there.Hate to leave my husband as I know Father's day looms so close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry -God bless you on this day.....May u feel your sons love.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 What is this hope people talk about....I don't understand but I want to be able to feel it? When does one begin to feel hope...and what does it mean? Is it hope that one begins to feel that life is worth living...does that time really happen? Everything is unraveling ...I'm tired of the responsibility of work....I'm tired of relationships that don't work.....My oldest pup is failing & I need to put him to sleep ....Michael's favorite...they will be together....just so very , very tired....missing my Mikey so badly......I've been trying to lift myself but find it so difficult lately...Peace & love to all this Sunday.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Mike's Mom....words are simply words....when this kind of grief comes into your life...as for the word 'hope'....just put it aside for now and just take one day at a time....please do not ask too much of yourself now....don't try to 'understand it all'.....or try to find reason....or rhyme....in fact...just do whatever you can to bring yourself some rest....grief is exhausting...that is why you are so...so tired....I have mentioned that I did not have the energy or wherewithal..to drag a dead cat out of my house. For now....you are groping to learn to live in your 'new normal'.....and we know...there is nothing normal in and around you. We all know the feeling of taking baby steps up...and then giant leaps backward...this kind of grief touches on every emotion...and this kind of grief can hurt you physically. That is why we tell you to 'self care'....be very kind and gentle with yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Since Jeff died I have learned to live each day within itself. I live for the moment. Today is a perfect day. The sky is an intense blue and the sun is shining. I had a wonderful walk through the woods and just allowed the warmth of the sun to fall on my face. The breeze was heavenly coming off of the lake. The sky was as if I could reach up and pull it out of a painting. The clouds were so wispy and in some places as if a fine brush had swept across the expanse of sky. There were sail boats on the water and as I walked along I saw these wild flowers. This is my church. I see God in all around me. I know there is much sadness...I also know there is pain that can not be explained. But then I take a walk such as this morning and I see these flowers growing in the woods. God's creation surrounds me. I know I will see Jeff again in time. That is the only thing that can bring me comfort in his death. This is a temporary separation. I have learned to laugh again even through the tears. Life is still good. It just seems a little emptier without him in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Since Jeff died I have learned to live each day within itself. I live for the moment. Today is a perfect day. The sky is an intense blue and the sun is shining. I had a wonderful walk through the woods and just allowed the warmth of the sun to fall on my face. The breeze was heavenly coming off of the lake. The sky was as if I could reach up and pull it out of a painting. The clouds were so wispy and in some places as if a fine brush had swept across the expanse of sky. There were sail boats on the water and as I walked along I saw these wild flowers. This is my church. I see God in all around me. I know there is much sadness...I also know there is pain that can not be explained. But then I take a walk such as this morning and I see these flowers growing in the woods. God's creation surrounds me. I know I will see Jeff again in time. That is the only thing that can bring me comfort in his death. This is a temporary separation. I have learned to laugh again even through the tears. Life is still good. It just seems a little emptier without him in it. Thank you, Laural...I am going to print that out and keep it on my fridge. I look forward to reading your book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 The Anniversary celebration was just that....a celebration....in fact...it was just perfect....just what he wanted to have for him and his 'best girl'....no one could shake his hand...he wore a mask 90% of the time...it was upbeat...festive...there was a small band...outside...we joined hands and hearts to circle the 'sweethearts'.... now....it is all in God's hands...they knew John David ...ever since he was in the 5th grade...in fact their second daughter had a crush on him for years...they also knew I was there 'for them'.....that was the first 'party/gathering' I have been to....I have been to a few small Confirmation/Graduation get togethers this Spring....as Essie has said...'we go for the living'.... Randa and George was there....helping ...I will be 'there' for his family....of course...when the time comes...I woke up this morning feeling as if I have a million questions...and not one answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Kate, I know what you mean. I lost my beautiful son Joseph on Thanksgiving Day 2005 in a car accident with two cousins. This year will be 10 years, and sometimes it just doesn't get any easier. Being at the beach or outdoors reminds me of how he enjoyed doing things outdoors, and helping others. We just have to live in the present, and find a new normal. I find that writing helps quite a bit also. I just finished writing the draft of a book I call "A Mother's Spiritual Journey of Heallings and Blessings". Now, I need to go through and do some editing, and adding just a few things more, and then I'm going to have my family read it to get their thoughts. I almost lost a 2nd son last year when he had a cardiac arrest at the age of 32, perfectly healthy, didn't drink, didn't smoke, and the only thing we can come up with is overexposure to jet fuel since he worked on planes for the military. Here is something I wrote that helps me stay focused on pbeing positive. Every Day Is A New Day To Make Everything ShineTo Cherish Memories PastTo COunt Your Blessings, Past and PresentTo Tell Your Loved Ones How Much They Mean To YouTo Enjoy and Appreciate The Gifts You Have Received In LIfeTo Know JOy And Love Through Your Children's EyesTo Embrace Life and Live To Your Fullest PotentialTo Pray And Know That God Is Always There For YouTo Heal By Lending A Hand To Those In Need Of A Little Extra CareTo Be In Peaceful BlissTo See The Rainbow Through The Storm I know my son would not want to see me sad all the time, so I just focus on staying as positive as I can, help others when i can, and know one day we will meet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry,I've been thinking of you today and of your Davey. I hope you feel his love and light all around you today. Thank you for being one who reaches out and shares with those newer to this journey. I'm sending you love and prayers today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Sherry I'm holding you close lots of hugs xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted June 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Thinking of you today Sherry. Have a blessed day.Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Laural, good luck with the book, I too find writing is my best way of finding my daily helping of hope. It is hard to stay in the moment I know, but as you have found in these nearly 10 years, time moves in abstract ways with or without us. The best way for me is to record my thoughts in my journal and do what you do; my personal best to carry the light of my Daughter with me, shine her everywhere I can.Blessings to you and hope for your Son's full recovery from his heart worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Dee....I guess you said it best for me tonight...we will just trudge through and carry our child and their light with us...any good we do....we will give it to memorial and remembrance...we are left here on this earth home....to do that for them...and us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Dee, thank you. You're absolutely right. I'm sure your daughter is smiling, and all we can do is carry that light with us. God Bless You! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Thinking of you today Sherry and may the love from your sweet Davey shine down on your heart. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Lora, you are so hard-working, I don't know how you are able to do such long hours...my body gives way. I will miss seeing you this summer, but do let me know if your plans change, I sure hope the house sells for what you and your parents are hoping. Congrats to Jared, he gets his tenacity from his Momma. You must be so proud. What is next for him as far as where he wants to live? Laurie, how is your Daughter these days? Husband? I like that screen shot you posted, it is true, thank you. It helps folks understand that grief is love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Lora,I was happy to see your post. I think of you and of Cara so often. I know our Girls Angel Dates are so close together so I've been thinking of you a lot these past couple of weeks. You were one of the first to reach out when I first came here. I can see how busy you must be and I agree with Dee. I don't know how you do it. Congrats to Jared! I understand the sadness. Going into now the third year, in someways I am learning how to carry my grief but some things seem even harder. Thinking of you and sending hugs. I know this time of year is difficult. Wade,Thank you, Thank you! The video is beautiful. It was a labor of love for our Angels and for all of us and I know we are all so grateful. Dee,I agree with Susan. Your words give me the inspiration and motivation that some days it's hard to find... to carry Trista's light and to do good in the world in her honor and memory and to live my life for the time I'm here the best that I can. Yesterday I worked outside all day.It was hot, hot, hot but I got a small garden in. For this year just some tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, and cucumbers since I'm getting such a late start but I feel good just having even a small garden in...feeling more like home. I also transplanted Trista's cactus plants (cacti??). The were a little worse for wear after the move but seem to be happy and thriving in their new homes. I was able to bring some of my straweberries from the old house so I got a small strawberry patch put in. Next step... my chicken coop. I got an offer of 50 free chickens from a neighbor. I just have to get the coop ready. Lots to do and I'm still working on unpacking boxes and getting ready for a big barn sale. Today I was working out in Trista's garden and a neighbor stopped to chat while she was walking her dog. People are so friendly here and welcoming. She had heard that I had lost Tris from another neighbor and she shared with me that she had lost her Son many years ago. She lost him in June and then years later her husband passed also in June. She said she knows how hard these times of year can be and she just wanted to introduce herself and let me know she was there if I ever need anything. I have never had people just come and introduce themselves and welcome me this way. I feel like I'm in a really good place. I've yet to read the report from the other side. I will do it when I'm ready. My Grams and Sis will come to spend Trista's Birthday with us. I'm going to make it a good day to honor and remember her and come together. Love to all today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sistergldnhair66 Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Oh Wade, I just watched the video. I'd be waiting for some alone time...I can't even find the words to thank you enough, for you to know how it touched me. Let the tears streaming down my face say it all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Shannon, the garden sounds like a labor of love and the neighbor stopping in and telling you about her life???Wonderful. You have definitely been directed and have landed in a good place, for that we are all so glad. We did not plant veggies this year, for one thing, my husband's momma has been in rehab and hospitals fr three months and he is a bit bogged down, and our flowers take our attention and energy. The other thing is, I have the veggie garden at school and so if the rain ever subsides, we will enjoy some goods. The lettuce has been great, strawberries galore, but now so much rain in the last week...at least I don't have to water the school garden much. I have two moms that will help with the watering so that will be good this year. My nephew continues to challenge the world he lives in, trying to pawn things when he is able and going to get more heroin. He has lost most of his friends as they know now, that he will use them for a ride to get to the dealer. He no longer has use of a car as he has totaled two in 4 weeks. My Sis is trying to find a good rehab facility that will house him for more than the 30-90 days, he needs more. I am glad if anything I say can assist. I do believe that when we are able, we find ways to incorporate grief into moving forward...and in so doing, we make our Children smile.And Newbies, this about HOPE, it comes with work and time. I know it seems a broken record when many of us speak of time, after all it is time that haunts us in so many was, it goes so slowly sometimes, and yet, we look back and see its been weeks, months, and then years since our Babies were here. We are headed toward our 12th year, one month behind Sherry. It does take time before you begin to question yourself as to what you would like to do???Do you and can you go back to your old job? Do you and can you begin a new job? Can you return to old hobbies or do they no longer hold your interest? That is where time comes in, we cannot always determine these things in the begining of the journey as many will have no motivation or energy...for myself, I returned to my daily walks immediately, and more of them as I needed to wander and I needed the endorphins that they produced, but walking for me has always been a way to tap into the spiritual. So upon returning home from Kalamazoo, Michigan, 7 days after my Girl was in the accident and subsequently died, I came home and resumed my walks. I worked in the garden again, being close to nature provides me the wonder I need in life. And when school time rolled around, I went back unsure if I could still teach, but gave it a try and as it turned out, it was the right fit still. The needs and energies of kids kept me busy and focused on them and education for 6 or so hours a day, and that was a welcome feeling. With the return or start to some new activities hope is born anew. If for instance I was able to notice and research a new insect in the garden, I felt excited to know of a new species previously unknown in the yard. Little things, tiny things that allow your mind to grab 5 or more minutes away from ache. It will build, but when you are ready as it does also take a willingness to climb ontop of the grief for a bit and look at what is all around, eventually finding your balance, learning to take that love and grief and keeping it with you as you go. I envision and sometimes feel, Erica on my shoulder, riding shotgun, helping me live, wanting me to stand where she cannot. I hope I do her proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Lora, it was good to see your post. I think of you and Cora often with her bright beautiful smile. Do you like your job at the hotel? I was thinking of doing something like that eventually...Congratulations to Jared for completing his degree... Susan, it was good to see your photos of the girl's party...I showed them to Christina last night and she was very impressed with your pool as it looked like fun. Kate, I too enjoy the flower photos that you posted. A friend once told me that they were "Food for the Soul"... Dee, I am so sorry about your nephew Matthew. I wanted to know if you have ever considered what is known as "Energy Healing". It is often a service found at Wellness and Holistic Centers. There is a form of it that can be done remotely as well. I don't know if you are open to this kind of alternative healing but I wanted to tell you. My younger sister who has pituitary tumors (3 of them) went to these treatments on and off for quite some time along with her normal medical treatment. I do believe they work for various proven reasons to me. I know how your sister must be struggling. It can be used for addiction and mental health issues as well. Here is one healing energy team I know have good reviews: Debra Martin and Sherri Getten https://www.facebook.com/debraandsheri Sending prayers and gentle thoughts for your sister.... Shannon, sounds like you have some special people in the neighborhood and that it is a good place to be...for both your sons to time to heal... **********************************************************************We are slowly parting with some of Jesse's things. It is funny how in my inner thinking, I still believe he might be coming home and needing them...or maybe by parting with some of his stuff, it feels like I am parting with some more of him...strange the thoughts and feelings that I now struggle with, walking and stumbling and still falling on my face alot...feeling neither here nor there...just floating mostly in the moment...one of his prize cars was sold this Saturday...it was difficult... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]BY E. E. CUMMINGSi carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear;and whatever is doneby only me is your doing,my darling) i fearno fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i wantno world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meantand whatever a sun will always sing is youhere is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) A favorite... For Tris and all of our Loves today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sistergldnhair66 Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Dee, it truly breaks my heart about your nephew. And to also be 'Matthew' My offer still stands if you or your sister needs a shoulder. Addiction takes many prisoners. Thank you for your message about 'hope'. I'm not there yet. I'm truly buried in my grief and often question myself if I should already snapped out of it. My guides here give me affirmation that I cannot rush my grief. Since Matthew left us, I feel I haven't had time to address my feelings because of the neediness of the people in my life. I struggle to try to make them understand but fall short.. Many try to compare their losses to mine, and while I will never squash someone's grief over the loss of an elderly parent, as I've lost both of mine, this grief is so very different. I've never experienced such darkness and loneliness. Shannon.. You have found 'home'. Sounds so special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted June 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Laurie,That had to be very hard to sell one of Jesse's cars. I can relate to what you wrote about having that thought, rational or not, that Jesse may 'come home'. I do that too... and also what you wrote about parting with Jesse's things being like parting with more of him. I think it's part of another layer of acceptance. I also think about how Trista would feel. Would she be upset with me? It's a very difficult step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Laurie, I thank you for your link to healing...haven't looked yet, went to chiropractor this evening for my back and feet. He helped a lot, as usual. It rained so hard and we had a tornado warning to boot. Our whole beautiful yard, the whole thing, is under water from garage to deck. This happens a few times a year but we hate to see it, it is up to right under my shin in the yard, our yard slopes lower than anyone else on the block so it all comes to us. Yippee. I look forward to reading the info you sent. Yes, I am totally into other ways to heal, I wish my sister was, but she is doing some self medicating right now which worries me, though I get it. It is a thin line we walk isn't it? Eileen, yes, you and my sis have the same names and both with a Matthew. Her Matt is 26. He is the youngest of 7 kids. I will definitely let her know that you are available to talk and lean on but I think that she might at this time, decline. I did pass on the websites for addictsmom.com. I know she looked at it but could not deal with it. She is a psych nurse and works full time and then goes home to wonder what is next???You should never feel rushed to heal or to find hope, as I said and many others have said, it comes when you are ready and when you are able, grief is exhausting, it is all consuming and it is individual. Nobody grieves exactly the same ways and yes, grieving one who lived into their 70,s and beyond is far different than grieving a Child. If folks don't get that...well it has to be on them, because we needn't waste the bit of energy we have to explain further. Have you read any of the book called, THE WORST LOSS? It is very well written and written by two moms who lost their kids. You may find solace in some of the stories just because you will recognize yourself in there, and we need to see that we are aligned to the actions and steps of others. One day Eileen, one day it won't feel as raw... Shannon, I love that poem by cummings, thanks for posting. Your Girl and her poetic soul, so much like her Momma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Dee, so sorry to hear about your yard. I know how much effort you and your husband have put into making it look so lovely. My thoughts and prayers are with your sister and her son. And now your back is acting up as well! I am glad to hear that the chiropractor helped today. Make sure you take it easy. Congrats on the Cup! Hey, Wade....Toews!!!! Gotta love that guy. Shannon...thanks for posting the poem by Cummings. I love the way you are now able to spend time in your new yard preparing your gardens. My mouth is watering thinking of your strawberry patch. Do you grow rhubarb? I remember years ago my MIL making a wonderful strawberry/rhubarb jam...also rhubarb/pineapple jam. They were old recipes from a church cookbook. In those days we stood in the kitchen with a huge fan going as we prepared the berries and made the jam. Long before air conditioning. Those were the days. Cold vanilla ice-cream with fresh berries on top. Simple pleasures....but oh, so yummy! Lora, it was so nice to read your post. I too think of you often. I really hope your parents will be able to sell their home quickly. Please try to take good care of yourself. I know how hard you work. Laurie, I remember how hard it was for us to finally have Jeff's car moved. I left it in the driveway for over a full year. One day I just walked out to it and opened the trunk and started to dispose of some of his stuff. I had placed some things from his room that were too hard for me to look at in the trunk. Sending a huge "HUG". Leah...how is your Mom...and you? Becky, same thing for you? Susan, I'm sure the anniversary party was a lovely tribute to a sweet couple. I am so glad that it went so well! He sounds like he really enjoyed himself. Sending wishes to all for a peaceful night. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shannon-Trista'sMom Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Dee, I'm sorry about the flooding in your yard. I hope there's not too much damage when it's over. My Sis has had so much rain where she lives too. Many of the roads were flooded and impassable today. The garden at the school sounds so nice. I'm glad you have some parents helping though. Eileen,Thanks. It is home and it does seem 'special'. I think all the more because It's the first good thing to happen for me and for my Boys in the two years since Tris left. It's sort of a marker of a turning point for us ( I hope ). I understand completely that feeling of being pulled away from your grief by the needs or actions of others. I think this house is sort of a symbol for me of 'my time' to finally find some peace and time to grieve as I need to grieve. I know how frustrating it can be when those around you don't get it especially when they don't know they don't get it. I hope you are able to carve out some time for you. It's so important. Susan,The party sounds like it went perfectly. I'm so glad for them that it did. Kate,Those sound like wonderful memories. I have never grown rhubarb but my Grams did and she always made rhubarb pie and strawberry rhubarb pie. She also had one of those hand crank ice cream makers. We would make the ice cream to go with her pies. There is nothing like fresh homemade ice cream. It was worth the work. I also have only ever made jam once. I plan to now though, but the memory you brought back for tonight is one of the best. The summer before Trista left, we went on vacation for a week to Michigan to the UP. When I was growing up my Grampa's family owned a fish camp near Mackinaw. We would go every summer... Aunts, Uncles, Cousins... 2nd, 3rd, and 4th... just tons of family. We would stay in the cabins and swim in the channel, pick raspberries, and take the ferry to the island. I wanted my kids to experience a little of that. We couldn't go to the camp because it's since been sold off to people for private cabins but we rented a cabin on Lac La Belle. It was so 'out there' that the only way to the nearest store was by boat. We had an amazing time. On one of our walks in the woods the kids found berries. There were tons and they wanted to pick them. I had to do some research to figure out that they were thimbleberries. We picked so many and took them back to the cabin and made jam together. We made so many memories.That was our last vacation all togther. This picture of Tris is from that trip. I've had Debbie and Sam on my mind lately. Debbie, if you read ever I just wanted you to know I had been thinking of you. I sat on my front porch tonight and watched the most beautiful display of nature that would rival any fireworks show ... a perfectly clear night sky filled with a million glittering stars and flashes of heat lightening, blending at the horizon with the woods... alive and sparkling with thousands of fireflies... and in that moment I felt so small but not in an insignifigant way. I just felt the vastness of the universe and the hmiracle that we are all here... that there must be a purpose for that, from each of us to every firefly. I don't know... that probably sounds a little crazy but it was one of those moments where I just felt connected to everything and it's in those moments that I feel my Girl so very close. Sending wishes for sweet dreams of our Angels tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 I have many words and thoughts to share with my 'friends' on this site....but will do that later...'insanely busy...again'...I saw this on FB....Dee....maybe you can get your nephew to read it....many parents will identify with this Mom...beyond sad.... Tropical Storm Bill has hit our coast around Port O' Conner....getting rain bands...wind.here in Washington County...there will be lots of coastal flooding....this is only a rain maker....nothing like a Hurricane... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Yikes.....have had such trouble getting back on BI, but here I am.....hope all goes well.I've been away for a week...on vacation to the seashore. Now, trying to catch up withposts. We were traveling home on Davey's Angel Day....the 14th. We had a memoriampublished in the newspaper, and was glad to find the issue in the paper box when wearrived home, and to see the tribute was there.I'd like to thank each and every one of my great friends on BI for the lovely tributesand sentiments for Dave's angel day. No one in my family remembers the date, soit is so gratifying to see the thoughts and prayers of you all.....here at BI. Thanks again! Lora---so good to see your post. Hope you are doing ok. How's your kitties? I havea new kitty...."Daisy Mae Mousie"....she's 1 yr. old, and full of energy. I got her from ashelter.Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when getting a 3 month old kitten. Laurel-----I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear son, Joseph. There are many othershere at this site who have lost their dear children through highway accidents. Youhave found a big and active site to come and read/post as you wish,....and everyonehere knows, firsthand, the sorrow of losing a beloved child. Please come back. Peace to you. Laurie---Thanks for the screenshot..."where there is grief, there is deep love." Howtrue this is. Dee----I still have my journal, but I now write in it less frequently, whereas I would writeevery day after Dave's death. Just going back and reading some of the entries madeearly on, I can see that I have made progress on this journey. As you say.....we willalways have our loving memories of these angels deep within our hearts, and come tocelebrate the wonderful souls that they were when here on earth, and still wonderfullittle souls in their new place. Kate----I agree that it is good to live for the moment, and not let the good things inlife be let go by the wayside. Your flowers will be so lovely when they are planted andthriving there. Susan----Thanks for your kind words, and for reminding me of the quote that Dee madethat we 'never accept the death of a child---but we do accept they no longer walk on this earth.'It's so good of you and your daughter to assist at the bittersweet 'Come & Go' gathering for the dear man whois gravely ill. Wishing peace to the man and his dear family. Wade----Such a wonderful video tribute that you made for sweet Brooks and all our angels.It must have taken a lot of time & effort.....(I wouldn't know where to start on a project suchas this) ...but you made it perfect. Thanks so much. The refrain (in the Pooh & Robin part)..."I'll always be with you".....how sweet & true....all our angels are telling us the same thing.All our angels are in the midst of such great & loving angel company. God bless them alluntil we meet them again. Sandy....Lora.....Georgina....Laurie...Shannon...Wade....Kate....Francesca...Dianne....Susan...Eileen.....Leah....(hope I'm not forgetting anyone).....thanks again for your dear words. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom....Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted June 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Popping in to say hello to all. I haven't been busy, but I have been tired. Kate, Mom has some good days and some bad ones. Somedays we go through the same thing over and over each time I walk into her room. Sometimes she doesn't even know me. I have become alright with this. Not saying it isn't hard, but just hoping to make her remaining time bearable. When my siblings call she tells them all the same story about how she, my daughter, JaBoa and her sister went to a party and after that everything went wrong. My siblings have even asked me how I date to let her go anywhere.. (duh.. she isn't here in the now) In fact she tells that to everybody... The only thing I can think of is the weekend of the horrible accident and she shuts down. I don't think she is ready to face the aftermath. She gets upset and asks me to call her husband.. she begins to forget who I am... she wants her husband to come get her.. but dad passed the January before JaBoa.. This story goes on daily 2 to 3 times a day.. not sure what will happen when she realizes the end of the story.. the nurse told me that sometimes they just spend life in the past for a long time. The weather is rainy.. which is good we can use it, we aren't getting as much as you though Dee... just enough to get the roads muddy. I wish I could think clearly myself lately, I haven't the words of wisdom to help anybody.. all I can tell you is that your angel is loved.. you are loved and cared about.. be good to you.. there are so many ups and downs.. sometimes it feels like a lot more downs.. and feels so lonely.. but your not alone when you are here.. even when your not.. your thought about, because we remember how we felt when our angel (s) left how we still feel... and miss them.. how we just learn to go on again in different ways but never forgetting our children, our pieces of our heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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