Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 16, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Double post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kalikama Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 OMG--thank you all for making me feel like I'm NOT going crazy. Talking to my friend from FL tonight, I realized I was sharing memories of Ethan. It felt so good to remember him and things we did together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 16, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Kalikama, You are definitely not going crazy but I have felt that way so many times. To be able to come here and get support and reassurance that everything we are going through is part of this terrible grief is so needed. I'm so glad you were able to talk to your friend tonight and share those memories of Ethan. That also is so needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 16, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 I just had a talk with Zak, as he sat there with Delilah in his arms. He just loves her. He said she reminds him of Tris and of his childhood. Just her presence here seems to bring up a lot of good memories for him. I think his heart needed this. Though, I'm sure I will question my sanity during the house training phase, I think this was a right choice for Zak and she is the sweetest little thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Thank you all for commenting on my post & picture of the mama lioness watching over her young lion cub. I am always looking for signs from my Jared (J. D.) and his spirit continues to touch us in so many different ways. He truly knows when I am down, and finds a way to reach out to me; but I am only human, and the hurt is still there. I am trying so hard to get well and back to some semblance of my former "me", but it is sometimes so overwhelming. I still struggle to use my hands, and my eyesight is not back to where it was before my episode in the hospital in January with pancreaitus (sp?) The doctors have pretty much told me my use of hands and legs are nerve damage due to the diabetic episode, and that it is permanent. I refuse that, and am trying my best to do all that I can. They took me off of all meds except my insulin and mild pain reliever for my torn rotator, as they weren't sure if my blood pressure or cholesterol meds may have caused the muscle weakness and imbalance that resulted in my falling episodes and the broken ankle in Dec., and torn rotator in January. I can say I don't feel as off balance since stopping those meds, and my cholesterol and blood pressure are NORMAL without taking them! Makes me wonder why I needed them in the first place! They also have told me my shoulder will never heal without surgery, but since I have gotten to the point where i can take a shower unassisted, and dress and undress, etc., I am not anxious to do surgery and have to return to needing help in those areas! I think a big part of my emotional issues are due to lack of sleep and dealing with pain and neuropathy in my hands and feet on a daily. I don't like taking meds. but last night I was so physically miserable, I took an extra half of a pain pill and it knocked me out. Best night's sleep in a while! Dee, you continue to inspire me with your posts. I admire you so ! Shannon, that baby boxer is precious! She looks just like my first boxer, Bootsie! I just had my boxer girl, Marissa, spay, as there is no way physically for me to have anymore pups to raise, just more than I can do. Sherry, I hope you will be able to post pics of your new kitty! Some of the pics that I have posted were ones that I had on my facebook page, and I just right clicked on them and selected "copy image", and then came here and right clicked in my post here and chose "paste". Hope this is an option for those that have had trouble with posting pics lately. God bless us all! I too, am so sorry for all the new grieving parents here, but glad you found us, and hope you will continue to come back and share, where we so do understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 16, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Becky,I’m sorry to hear you’re still struggling with your health. I think sometimes this grief load just get so heavy and our bodies so tired. It sounds like you are getting better though, it takes time to heal. I’m glad that Jared continues to show his presence in your lives and touch your family in so many ways. I am also always looking for signs that Trista is still close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 more later....Shannon....love the boxer story...and Zak will have a defined connection to both the dog and his Sis...Becky...just keep getting rest and healing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katibug98 Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Becky~I agree. Heal and rest. Shannon~What a great story! The boxer is beautiful *Delilah*. I never wanted an animal. I figured, "someday". We had an opportunity to get a kitten from a friend who lived out on a ranch. The joke was that her male cat disappeared and came home with his pregnant girlfriend. We got Maximus *Max* at about 8 weeks and he's been the best kitty for us for the last year plus. Cora adored him. She was always trying to pick him up and carry him around. She had her run-ins with him, but he's a very affectionate kitty. He's *my* kitty although we thought he'd snuggle up with Grace *my oldest daughter*. He comes running when I get home from work, waiting for some lovins. I swear on some days that he's part dog too. He'll only drink water from the faucet if you turn it on just a little bit. And honestly, I wouldn't know what I would have done if I hadn't had him curl up in my lap off and on these last few months. He's been a soothing part of some of my evenings especially. My work week is done, but the weekend will go quickly. I'm not looking forward to that. I need to make jam today, so I guess I better get moving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Becky, your aching body, I wish I could wave a magical mixture of healing over you. I know the heart would still ache, we will always ache there, but when your body feels better you feel you can move forward in the world. I wish you that ease that comes with healing, the ease in your joints and hope that in time, you will gain the strength that you feel is needed. How are the ducklings? They are lucky to have your home in which to be nurtured and time to grow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 trying to attach a photo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Angel Boy of Mine Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Thanks, Dee, I indeed wish there were a magic potion for all our pain! The ducks are almost a month old! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4479274437369 https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4479681607548 We lost two last week to some predator, but aren't sure what, so now we have attached an old raft to the lifeline in the center of the pool so they have somewhere safe to sleep. I go and look out the dining room window every time I get up to the bathroom, and it was only about a three hour window during the night that they came up missing in... dogs didn't bark, no signs of any struggle.... just gone! We have a fence all around the backyard, but woods behind us and fields around, so there are fox and cats, eagles, and hawks... just don't know what happened to them, but the six that are left are adapting quite well to the raft, if they would only quit trying to untie it from the lifeline!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Katibug---Yes,...I agree....pets are so much comfort. Glad your kitty bringssolace to your heart & soul. Becky-----Sorry about your health concerns, and hoping you are feelingbetter soon.....sending prayers. Thanks for the tip about transferringpics from Facebook to BI.......but everyone here knows how inept I am at posting pics. Shannon----Love the pics of your boys with their dog, "Delilah". I guessthe early days of a young pet...puppy or kitten....are a bit of a challenge,but once you get past that, it's so nice...and they ARE so darn cute asbabies. Thanks for posting the pics. Dee-----My husband planted sunflowers, and some of them are 12 ft.high now. Some got a bit bent over at the top, due to the huge heads.I guess all the rain we've had this summer is great for their growingstage. Cornfields are really high too. WISHING PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 My new kitten, Daisy. She's about 3 mo. old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 HMMmmmmmm. Guess I bumbled everything the right way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 16, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Sherry, Daisy is so sweet. My sunflowers are also about as tall and the bent over too. The gold finches love them. I agree, puppies and kittens can be a lot of work. The boys are so happy though. Last night she slept with me. I tried to put her in her crate but she cried and I gave in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Shannon, Delilah is so adorable. I agree that the kids will absolutely adore the new addition to your family. Becky, I am certainly wishing you improved health soon! Also, sorry about your resident little feathered friends. It is so hard to say what happened. They are luck to have you watching over them. Sherry, I absolutely love the name you chose for your new pal. Daisy...sounds as if she will bring a lot of happiness to your family. The sunflowers sound as if they are huge. I noticed on Thursday as we drove to the city that the farmers were out busily harvesting their crops. So many sunny days without rain... I imagine they are trying to get things done before an early fall frost. Debby....how are you? Let us know if you can what is happening. Holding you close. Kati...what kind of jam are you making? I remember the days of picking berries and standing in the kitchen making jams for the winter. Long before air conditioning. Just after I was married with my MIL. We had a huge standing floor fan that almost acted as an airplane fan. I remember standing in the kitchen at the cottage with the smell of strawberries and the scent of sweetpeas growing on the trellis outside our kitchen window permeating the room. Strawberry, blueberry, strawberry & rhubarb, raspberry. It wasn't summer if we did not prepare for the upcoming winter. Home made tomato sauce for spaghetti sauce, etc. Looking back now I swore I would never become like her. I was young and it seemed far too domestic. But as years progressed |I came to understand that it gave us a sense of accomplishment and this young newly married woman had a lot to learn. Looking back I relish those memories now. Our day was so lovely. We headed into Winnipeg Beach to attend the Centennial celebrations. The mini model village of the original town of 100 years ago was terrific. I remember so well the various buildings that were eventually demolished in the 60's. Did you know that they actually had water slides called water chutes in 1908? Running water that pushed the kids through the chutes into the lake. We are just now about to get ready to attend the outdoor band performing old time Bogart type music and then watch the fireworks. The quilt display was amazing. So much effort and love poured into their craft. Well, must get moving. Love, Kate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 more tomorrow...have traveled many miles today...so tired...got to be with Wyatt John....for awhile....grateful...blessed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members andy88 Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hello Everyone. I like to drop in every now and then just to say hello to old friends, and to sadly welcome the newcomers. I am 3 1/2 years down the road now...wow, is that even possible? It seems like yesterday. This is the place that helped me heal the most and enabled me to go on with my life. I lost my only, Andy, on 2/11/11. He was 22 years old. I didn't think I could go on and certainly never smile again. But I did, and I do smile. Best of all, my mission is for Andy's legacy to be one of helping others through me. I am deeply involved in addiction education and treatment activities now (my son died of an overdose). I hope all those who helped me in the dark, early days are all doing well and thriving. And I will keep those of you new to this, and you children, in my heart and prayers. Love to all. Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hi All, Pam so good to see you here, with that broad lovely smile on Andy's face. So handsome and sweet. I love the way your visits here not only update those of us who know you and Andy through you, but also encourage those new to this to hear your story. Thank you for your care. Kate, sounds like you are taking us along with you through the centennial celebrations. Thanks for that, I do kind of feel I am there. Oh and the memories of makng jam, I can almost sniff the wafting aromas of resh fruits...Yum. Sherry, the photo of Daisy is adorable, she id so pretty. I am happy for you Kiddo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Sherry....thanks for sharing Daisy with us....years ago...I lost my best..best...dearest..friend....Margaret Ann....I finally got a calico kitty....and I named her Margaret Ann...why ?I missed saying her name....so now I get to say 'Margaret Ann' each day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 17, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 I wanted to stop in and wish everyone a peaceful day. Dee, I’m glad you’re friend reached out to you for help in understanding her friend. I hope she does contact you. You have helped us all so much here. I think for me, the worst thing that was said to me right after I lost Tris was when people would say things like… You are so strong. If it were me “insert completely clueless statement here”. I was told by one person that they would go to bed for three months if it happened to them. My thoughts… Really? And who would go to work for you or care for your other children for you? Another person, someone who I thought should have known better as she was a counselor, said… I don’t know how you do it. If it were me they would have to take me away in a straightjacket. Maybe in their own way they were trying to make me feel strong or encourage me. What I heard was… Wow, my grief would be so much worse than yours. Somehow these statements, made by Mothers, were worse than when my elderly neighbor with no children, told me that someday I would find some humor in it and proceeded to tell me a funny story about when his dog was cremated. I don’t know why that didn’t bother me as much. Maybe because of his age and that I knew he definitely had no clue. Susan, I love what you wrote about Margaret Ann. I’ve been feeling pretty alone lately. With just me and the boys at home now, there is so much less going on. Sometimes I feel like maybe I would be farther along in my grief if there hadn’t been so many things going on in my life this past year. Now, I am without distraction and am feeling the full impact of being alone with my pain. The seasons are changing again and I remember from last year the impact that had and so that may be part of it. I keep thinking I would be getting Trista ready for college. We would be doing all those Mother/Child things getting her ready to venture out into the world. The tears have been really rolling lately and my heart hurts so much. I know it’s right though, for me to finally have some time to just feel my grief without all the other distractions. We will be busy this week getting Zak ready for school to start. Aiden and I are going to do his preschool at home this year. He will be five in September but he misses the cutoff for kindergarten this year so I get to keep him at home with me for another year. I’ve been thinking of going back to school when Aiden starts kindergarten. I’m considering becoming a counselor and specializing in grief. I’ve had to seek counseling for my PTSD but it’s so hard to find anyone who really understands the loss of a child. It would take me a long time, taking classes part time. I think that would be good because by the time I would finish I will be closer to my ten year mark since the loss of my Trista. I will be much farther in my grief journey and maybe in a place where I could help others. The more immediate benefit would be just giving me something positive to focus on and work toward. Just something I’m thinking of. I have a year to decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katibug98 Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Kate~I made peach jam yesterday. A couple of weeks ago, I made blueberry jam and blueberry pie filling. I helped with the canning and freezing of things when I was a kid, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. I just can a lot of different things than what my mom and grandmother did. My kids' favorite? Homemade applesauce! When stuff is on sale or I can get a flat of something or other from Bountiful Baskets, I start making stuff. I'm thinking apples might be next, but I'd love to make some pear jam too. We shall see. Shannon~That sounds like a great idea! I am starting to see the changes in the weather here, although it was *hot* here yesterday. I'm ready for fall believe it or not. I'm just not ready for the stuff that follows the official start of fall. I actually bought 3 strands of Christmas lights that looked brand new at a yard sale yesterday thinking of my tree and how pathetic my lights were last year. But, I dread the decorating part. I feel like I've been blissfully in denial...or something in-between. Is that even possible? Life has been chaotic and busy and I'm not sure if I'm denying she's gone or if I'm so busy that I don't have time to think about it all. Rae told me today that she already knows what she's going to be for Halloween. I'm not sure that Grace will trick-or-treat this year because...well...she's the size of a petite adult woman. And Cora would have totally been looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Katie...and Shannon....your grief journey will be as unique as your child was unique....also....I would think that situation/circumstances/environment/ also contribute to your own unique grief journey... Shannon....what those well meaning friends said to you is what my mind would try to wrap around when I 'tried' to think of what I would do if I ever lost a child... I would hear...or read of a child dying....or faced with someone in our community....and I would think much the same things...as they said to you... I remember me and Margaret Ann would be talking about all the 'stuff' that had happened in our lives..and many times we would say...'well...we have suffered everything but the death of a child'.... Now I know....no one...not your family or close friend can even come close to relating what this kind of grief is like... and before I lost my John David....I was one of 'them', too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Pam, so good to hear from you and to see that you are finding happiness once again. I think it is truly admirable that you are giving of your time to help others on this journey. You have much to offer with your experience. Susan, I understand your feelings. It is easy to throw ourselves into keeping busy when we are distracted with our everyday life. At some point I too had to face that Jeff was gone and not coming back. I blocked it out for ages in order to deal with other issues going on in my life. My MIL was very ill and took me away from that place of hurt as I had to focus on her daily needs. After she was gone it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew I had to face it. It is hard. You are a strong woman as you have demonstrated and you will manage to cope. I love your idea of going back to school. It's a win/win situation by helping others. Kati, I am so happy to hear that others still continue to make their own preserves, etc. It gives you a true sense of satisfaction when the job is done. We used to give most of it away to other family or friends. I will say that there was nothing nicer than opening a jar in the deep of winter and knowing it came from our own kitchen. Laurie, Sandy...wishing you well. Dee, thanks. I guess it was not until Jeff died that I have spent so much time reflecting on the past. Perhaps that is why I am enjoying this trip down memory lane of late. We were not able to make it to the fireworks, or outdoor band last night after all. Ross fell asleep after a busy day and I decided to just let him rest... as we had had a very busy day. I was able to see the fireworks from a distance over the lake and they were so nice. Today we are off to watch a young adult Ukrainian dancer troupe that put on quite the show. It is held outdoors and they are in full costume. This area was settled many years ago by Icelanders and Ukrainians. Following that there will be an amateur dog show. That should be fun. Then an Old Tyme Tea. Tonight on the bandstand will be The Johnny Cash Show. Thinking of everyone new to the site. Hoping that your day will be filled with peace. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Shannon, I love the idea as well, for you to continue with school and aim toward becoming a grief counselor, who better after all? You get it because sadly, you have had to, but you also possess that empathy and insight into others of all ages. Go for it Sweetie. As we know, there will always be those in need of just a person like you. Kate, what a fun day and the fireworks over the lake while hubby sleeps sweetly sounds lovely too. Have fun today. Becky, hoping that you are feeling some ease today. Love the raft, love the videos. You are the nurturer to these babies. Pam, using what you know to assist others is exactly what using your life-story to the best means. Andy is smiling his beautific smile upon you. Wade, I hope that somehow you are out there finding your way again, finding your steps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Let's see if a photo can be sent now...[ attachment=9936:IMG_8714.JPG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 A song for us all- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Wishing all a peaceful day. I have been reading along the past couple days. Dee, thanks for sharing the picture of little Erica in the rain, she looks so excited.. Found this conference with many interesting speakers online, including Raymond Moody, Eben Alexander, Penny Sartori and others. I thought it was one of Dr. Alexanders better presentations. http://www.btci.org/bioethics/2012/videos2012/ Haven't much else to say, just in a quiet sad place. Weekends are hard. I have talked to my husband about possibly moving from here...there are times I just can't stand it. Just too many reminders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Yesterday we drove to League City....to visit our son and his family.....this is the 'new little man' in our family circle....Wyatt John..... We took my contribution to our future college GRANDson, Josh...for his dorm room.....Jesse and Heather will be traveling to Baton Rouge on Tuesday...Josh will be going to LSU.....(there is a long story behind his dream of going there...instead of A&M).....it is all good..... Lots of emotions all over the place....so happy for his new adventures....hard on Mom and Dad and sister and little brother that will be missing him.... Heather said she thinks she will be ok until the time they have to drive away....I hugged her...and told her...I have been in those shoes many times....and we will understand those tears.... Dee...I have a cute GRANDchild story to relate to you....Wyatt was 'standing' on his bench to his little play table...and Mama corrected him many times...not to stand....anyway....she took the bench away and put it on the kitchen cabinet...he tried many times to get his Mama to give it back....she would not....so then.....he turned to Nonnie....(me)....he would take my hand and walk me into the kitchen and point to his bench.....thinking for sure..Nonnie will get it for him.... So many times my GRANDchildren will say...'but your their Mama"....and I always have to remind them...'I am just the frosting on the cake'.....love that Babydoll....is she going to have red hair ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 I don't know what is wrong....many can post photos....I still can't... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hello all, This is my nephew Patrick. My brother and SIL son. Pat died from a very rare kidney cancer not usually found in children. I went to visit Pat's memorial site last week. Cleaned up the grass clippings and noticed a hot wheels car is still there. His mom and dad live out of state.( One in FL and the other Maine) I know I spoke of Pat before, HE and Rich were first cousins and much alike. I remember when I told Rich that Pat had died, Rich said , " no he didn't ". My boy had a very deep love for his family and friends. So, Pat;s Mom shared this on FB. Fifteen years ago today, another angel was born. Patrick Michael Baldwin, I just wanted to write the poem my friend Wendy wrote for him. Sept. 13, 1985 - Aug.... 17, 1999. A child's heart so brave and true, who will ever believe this could happen to you. You haven't yet begun to live, and in your little heart, beats so much love to give. Yet, you're so brave standing strong and true. Always worrying about everyone else, never thinking of you. The past few months have really put your spirit to the test, as you struggled each day and fought with your best. I don't want to see the fire burn out in your eyes, or have you bear the pain you can no longer disguise. Why this was to happen no one will understand, and what will be now remains in God's hands. Through all the pain you endured, you still manage a smile. As the world's filled with wonder in the heart of a child. So, we're gonna make the best of each day, You live by giving it you all, the love that our hearts can give, Being sure you thank God for each precious day, that we are able to watch as you laugh and play. For giving you the strength to see the hard times through, as we do our best to make the time left of your dreams come true, That this can happen to a child is no less than a crime, and it's hard to fit a lifetime of living in such a short time. To be out of pain, may God speed your flight, and wrap you in sweet dreams that last through the night. For we'll all be there to help you calm your fears, as the time for you to rest quickly draws near. And when it's all over, like a butterfly, your spirit will soar, as God welcomes your soul through heaven's front door. And until we meet again behind the light, You'll have God's arms of love wrapped around you to cradle you tight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 This is Pat. I copy and paste photo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted August 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hello all.I have really opened up a can of worms this time!! I have decided that this year I will have a party on Sarah's birthday, Dec 1st and celebrate her birthday/life. Well my, sweet youngest daughter is not happy with me. She doesn't think it is a good idea, and talked me out of it last year,but this year I am standing firm. She says it will be harmful to my granddaughters( Becca will be 6 next week and Maddie will be 8 December 12th). I disagree, I think it is exactly what they need. They were 3 and 5 when she left us and they talk about her DAILY and that is not an exaggeration. I plan to have a slide show of pictures of her from birth to when she left along with her favorite music. And have people share fun stories/memories and have lots of food, laughter and a lantern release. Nothing fancy. But those little girls crave to hear stories and see pictures about their mama and I don't believe they will be traumatized. However I don't know if my son in law will allow them to come. He is withholding them from me at the present time ( which is so painful) He has some strange beliefs and has a low respect for women and acting out, so I am hoping he comes around. Hope my daughter will too. Why do our loved ones turn on us when we need them the most. Sigh........ Shannon, I think that going back to school is a great idea. You will make a good counselor. And taking it slowly is a good idea. Dee, that cute little one is growing so fast. It reminds me of playing in the rain with my girls many years ago. Kate, my goal is to win a lot of money and move to your area :-) It sounds so peaceful yet many fun things to do. I will dream. Hope everyone has a good evening.SandyFor some reason I am not getting the notification on my email when someone writes since the site had problems. My settings look right.??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Susan----So glad that you got a nice calico kitty, and that you namedher Margaret Ann after your dear deceased friend....nice thought...to be able to say her name every day. Loved the cute story aboutyour grandbaby, Wyatt John. Pam----Good to see your post, and Andy's dear smile. Betsy----So good to see your post. Thank you for posting thatlovely poem written for dear little Patrick......words spoken from the heart. Shannon----Yep....these puppies and kittens are just like babies....so cute, and needing attention for awhile. They grow so fast.They have their cute little ways of getting us to give in. Kate----Your summer outing to Winnipeg Beach sounds just lovelywith the band concert & fireworks afterward, the model village,quilt display & all. Sounds like a perfect way to spend a late summerday & evening. Thanks for kind words....it just seemed like "Daisy"fitted my kitty, so that's the name she ended up with, after consideringquite a few other names that didn't quite 'click'. Dee----Baby Erica looks so cute with the rain (or splashing water ?) Dave's friend , Mike, came today to pick up the photos for thememoriam at the high school reunion in October. It was good to seehim...had a nice visit. I recall your telling of the times that ERi'sfriends visited you, and how it warmed your heart. We felt the sametoday, but after Mike left.....Denny was choked up & felt sorrowful.I'm sure all of us here at BI knows the feeling. Meeting with our deceasedchild's friends can be bittersweet. "Daisy" is so activeand into everything. We have to keep an eye on her.....sometimes Ifeel like pulling my hair out . That's the nature of puppies & kittens, though. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 I took this pic today in Davey and Lisa's garden. The swallowtailseemed to be almost 'friendly'.....not really skittish or afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Nobody said life was easy, eh? In fact there are so many crappy days that I sometimes wonder if I have already crossed over. Lessons yet to learn and all that stuff. But today was not one of them. Today was a good day. Weather was perfect. Sunny skies and warm breezes off of the lake. The dancers were terrific! The costumes were so colorful and what a show they put on! We had the full nine yards. I originally thought it would be only young adults. Not so! They came out in full mass! The oldest being 63... and still kicking those heels up high! While one wonders how he is doing this evening? By far the dog show was the best. They had it separated into three sections. Best behaved, best trick, and then my favorite...best look alike their owner! It was hilarious! They were all good sports and it was such fun with a lot of laughs. We left exhausted, but feeling good after a lovely weekend spent reflecting on things of old and new. The boat parade was cancelled yesterday due to rough water and so they held it at the same time today. Sailing boats slowly drifted by with masts beautifully decorated and people on board waving as they passed. I sit here tonight looking at my husband as he sleeps comfortably in his favorite chair and tell myself that life is indeed good. Between all of the heartache and hurt there is much to embrace that is good. Each day is a blessing. I don't honestly know where we are headed in his struggle after this cancer scare. But we sure as heck are not sitting on our backsides waiting for the shoe to drop. There is life to live. Sandy, go out there and hold that party! It sounds like fun and she would be so pleased. Just do it! Laurie, hold on. It is still early days. You have done so well. Keep trying. Hold on everyone. I know each day brings its ups and downs. At some point those better days will become more frequent. Life will again feel as if you have something to live for. Love to all, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Sandy, I agree with Kate. If it is in your heart to hold a party for Sarah, I would do it. Sherry, what a beautiful picture of the butterfly. I hope things go well with the new kitty. Shannon, I don't know if you remember, but Carol Kearns also decided to become a grief counselor after her daughter's death. I think taking it slow is a good idea. I think it took several years for Carol to get her degree. Susan, it sounds like you had a good trip out... Kate, thanks for the kind words... Lora, wondering how you have been? And Carol, Gretchen... Betsy, thank you for sharing your SIL's poem for her son...it is very touching. Colleen, how are things down by you? Also, thinking about the newer people.... Wishing all a good night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 I'm just testing for posting problems I've had.....I hope that thethings I have done to 'fix' it will do the trick......We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 no luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hello Indigos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Bless You Patrick, nephew to Betsy, cousin to Rich and Sarah...Bless you on this date as those who love you send their love and hope.Betsy, so nice to see you here today. Going to your nephew's site was a special thing to do today. I am sure that he and his cousin are smiling on your good heart. Susan, love that story about your Grandboy. I also like to be thought of as the frosting on the cake. We have to abide by the parental rule but we are the ones that can spoil them some when no-one is looking. In the photo, Erica and I were at a park in town that has a big cement whale that spurts water, she loves it and does not shy away at all from water right in the face. Susan, I wish I could remember what I did to get my photo to attach this time...I browsed, opened the one I wanted, attached it, and then hit attach to this post, then I hit post, and i still get the bad screen, the one that says SQL issues, so I went back in and hit edit and there it was, I had to add space between the photo and the words but it came up. Sandy, I say that if you feel it is going to be good for your soul to have a celebration for Sarah's birthday, then by all means have that party. Those that do not come, while it is a sad thing, the important thing in my mind is that you do what is good for you. I do deeply feel that Sarah would feel this too. It is a darn shame that your younger daughter cannot see the healing that may be embedded in such an event, and healing is something we all need. So plan that lovely gathering adn whoever comes will be privy to the lovely memories of Sarah in the celebration of a wonderful life. Thanks Sherry, she is a delight. I am so glad that Mike came over today adn yes, it makes sense that Denny got choked up. It is good for me to see the kids growing up into adults and having children, though it can leave some residual ache for sure. We have a goodly amount of contact with Erica's friends and even still, I sometimes get tearful after a visit with them. Give Daisy a little petting from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Sorry for the strange posts.......Had to post in order for tech to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 hi to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 checking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 still trying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 strange error messages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Betsy...thanks for sharing....that really touched my heart....after one has lost a child...it seems as if we can read the heartache between the lines.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted August 18, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Susan, I agree. People just don't know. Nor do I want them too really. That's why I never got angry with those who said unintentionally hurtful things. I would bite my tongue or just explain that yes, I do feel like that most of the time but I don't have that option. I tried to just be thankful for the people who tried to talk to me about it even if they said all the wrong things. At least they were trying when many avoided it all together. I also reminded myself that up until June 1, 2013, I also had no clue. Kati, What Susan said is true. There are many things that seem to be common in grieving but the journey will be different for each of us because we are all different. One thing that seems very common is the shock and denial. I know for me the shock has not left me even after 14 months. It is different from those first days and months but not gone. The weather here is still warm but much cooler mornings and evenings. There is a change in the air even before the leaves start to change. I had a lot of anxiety about the holidays last year. The first without Tris. I become almost manic trying to figure out how to get us all through it. How to include Trista and make it good for the boys. It is a hard time. This year I hope I can take a deep breath and slow down. Like you, Kati, I don't even want to think about it until I have to. Dee, I found the same thing when trying to post photos. They wouldn't show up at first but if I went to edit and resubmitted they would be there. I don't know why. Maybe Laurie has some idea. Sherry, I understand wanting to pull your hair out some days. Puppies and kittens are sort if like toddlers, into everything. I sort of forgot but Miss Delilah is quickly reminding me. I'm calling the vet today to get get in for a puppy check. Daisy looks a lot like my Wendy's brothers. They all had that soft grey color. Wendy is a calico. The picture of the swallow tail is so pretty. Kate. Im so happy it was such I nice day for you and Ross. It sounded so lovely. Thank you for the reminder that joy does begin to creep back into our lives. I know what you mean being hit full force with the reality of the loss once there weren't so many things happening, needing your immediate attention. Laurie, I didn't remember that about Carol Kearns. I will see if I can find out more of her story. Taking it slow it for sure the right way. I really only have enough time to do it very part time and would need to be much farther along in my grieving to be able to really help others on a professional level. Sandy, I agree with everyone else. The celebration for Sarah sounds like a beautiful idea. I think you go with your own heart and gut on this. I think it's a wonderful idea. Betsy, I'm glad you were able to visit your nephews site. The relationship between Rich and Pat sounds like it was special and I'm sure they are together now. What your SIL wrote is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Shannon....I applaud you on your quest in becoming a Grief counselor...after I lost John David...someone suggested I see a Grief counselor here....I asked if they had lost a child....they said no....and I said...'No Thank You'....even early on the grief journey....I knew that this was a kind of grief like no other...and did not want someone telling me 'how to do it'....I am still possessive of my grief....it is mine...I will handle it my way...I will carry it the way I want to...express it the way I want to....I will grieve my way....in the time I want to...I go backwards and forward on my own timing....I have melt downs when I want to....I have break downs on my own clock....I have good days and bad days on my own calendar.... Essie would say...'It takes one to know one'.....so...very...true.She would also say...'If there is one....there is some'.....true words again. In your journey....and in your lessons...you will also be healing yourself...'Physician..Heal Thyself'....your broken heart and soul will be able to touch another one's broken heart and soul....and ...the other positive is that you will take it slow...I think that is the best path....for then you will know that someone's grief cannot be 'fixed' in a few sessions...and also....those broken pieces of your heart that are on the floor of your life....you will be given the gift of time to create that beautiful mosaic of your Trista girl.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted August 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Shannon....I applaud you on your quest in becoming a Grief counselor...after I lost John David...someone suggested I see a Grief counselor here....I asked if they had lost a child....they said no....and I said...'No Thank You'....even early on the grief journey....I knew that this was a kind of grief like no other...and did not want someone telling me 'how to do it'....I am still possessive of my grief....it is mine...I will handle it my way...I will carry it the way I want to...express it the way I want to....I will grieve my way....in the time I want to...I go backwards and forward on my own timing....I have melt downs when I want to....I have break downs on my own clock....I have good days and bad days on my own calendar.... Essie would say...'It takes one to know one'.....so...very...true.She would also say...'If there is one....there is some'.....true words again. In your journey....and in your lessons...you will also be healing yourself...'Physician..Heal Thyself'....your broken heart and soul will be able to touch another one's broken heart and soul....and ...the other positive is that you will take it slow...I think that is the best path....for then you will know that someone's grief cannot be 'fixed' in a few sessions...and also....those broken pieces of your heart that are on the floor of your life....you will be given the gift of time to create that beautiful mosaic of your Trista girl.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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