Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I don't have time to post what I want to say/write now...but I will later...hang on with both hands.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Gretchen, hold on... as Susan mentioned. I agree that it most probably would be the best thing to seek out counseling. Dee once mentioned to me that there are no short cuts through this. Straight through the middle is the only way to successfully deal with it. I agree that you have not allowed yourself that much needed time to grieve for Forest. Some people are not able to take time to focus on what happened. They must return to work very soon after. But our hearts are hurting and our minds are in a fog. We can't truly focus properly. While it may provide a distraction...and that is often very good...we have to work through this slowly. Crying is necessary. It is a way to release the pent up emotion and hurt. Holding it in can often lead to other health issues. Probably Lynn losing her son has also placed added stress on you at this time. It can't help but make you more aware of your own loss. Seeing her able to vent openly must be very frustrating for you. The hardest part for me in the first two years was not being able to talk about my losing Jeff to anyone either than my husband. Family...or should I say...relatives...walked away. This was my issue to deal with. You would honestly think that my behavior had become unmanageable. Not so. And what if it had by their standards? Heck...I had lost my son! Let them give it a try and see how well they would handle it. You need to focus on you! On getting that much needed support from whatever area you can. Seek counseling, a grief group, friends, anti-depressants, whatever it takes to help. This is about YOU right now. Nobody else. You do not have to be strong to impress anyone. You have suffered a tremendous blow and you are going to have to be gentle with yourself One day at a time. One step at a time. Don't expect too much of yourself. Hold on. We're here for you. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Hi ya Gang,I have a few minutes between conferences to just hang out with you. I have not read you since this early morning. want to say RIGHT ON! to Wade on the award. I love teaching awards, they mark a time for us that says someone noticed! I felt the same way as you, without the school I am at I don't know that I could have gone back to work after losing Erz. It is my second home here, where both of my kids attended and where the hallways were their hallways, a place that gives me great comfort. Anyhow, good for you. Debbie, I think that your writing is showing that your numbness is wearing away adn what lay underneath is your grief, not to be run from here, and even though you have to stuff it down during the day or in specific gatherings, you let it free here with us and that is good, that is your steps toward finding light again, even when it feels so very dark.I am proud of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Well said Kate. Gretchen, I have been walking on egg shells for most of the last 4 months trying to be EverytHing for everyone else. Trying to be the wife, mother, daughter and person that everyone thought I should be. I'm finished with all that. That's not fair to Sam's memory and not fair to me. Please take care it yourself. I think, at least for today, I'm starting on MY path to grief. Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I just read what I posted. Maybe it was a little harsh. I just meant that I have to be me. I have to be where I am. No more lying to myself about what it's really going on. I can put on a face but when I'm inconsolable I need to be left alone to cry. Oh well I'm not sure what I mean. It feels good to be in control of my crazy grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Its okay Debbie, this is the one place where we have freedom to express ourselves in our grief how it truly is -- not as others think it should be.... Gretchen, sending you hugs today....my daughter is now seeing a counsellor too...she seems to like her...when we selected the person, I wanted someone who had experienced loss firsthand....we were fortunate to find someone... Kate, your words are so right on... Wade, congratulations on the award...your students are lucky to have you as their teacher... Becky, how are you doing??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Gretchen, yes, crying each day if that is what is felt is a luxury of sorts. Certainly we wish we did not feel the sadness, but since we do, yes, you need to find ways to release the myriad of sad, angry, regretful, painful, remorse, and all else that is encompassed in grieving. It gets buried when we have to do so, but we come to a point, like where you might be now, where nothing feels quite right. There is a VOID where feelings need to be. We get used to putting them elsewhere for the sake of others and then we forget where we put them, don't always know how to access those feelings, and when we do, we are unsure if we can put them back away for a while. You will find your stride with these, but I so agree, you do need the time to grieve. You need some time to yourself to just be. In that time you may find what does give you a smile or a sense of calm, you can revisit some of what you feel haunted by. I wish you time Gretchen. And hope. I love my therapist, to me it is a luxury to have someone to just talk to and ask questions of, who can be plain honest with me and does not feel uncomfortable with my grief. I find that she can ask me questions that help me search for answers within myself, further clearing space for learning about life in this new world. Debbie, you are taking a big bold step. It is imperative that you go through grief, not around it or dodge under it, because in the long run, it is still there waiting for you to get through it. No, never through it like we won't ache about the loss, but through it meaning to that other side of this life-changing event so that you can see some peace eventually, feel hope again, and go after what feels most important to you in this new time. That is taking some of the control back after so much of that disappeared. Gretchen and Debbie, in many ways you are facing that same kind of fork in the road...letting your grief out into the world or keeping it to yourself. May you find your peaceful place in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thank you I to have faked it for every one else even my wife does not get it sayingI should move on think of the good things why are you crying and the worst she just said so what Nick is dead. I blew up and told her to f off she went to far, I get no support from any one in my family and now i just want to leave them all they are terible and awful to me i love Nick and miss my son so much its all I think of and I am wrong for that I dont think so. I am so mad I could destroy everything I see right now. Thank you guys for being here you are all I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Debbie... What you wrote was absolutely beautiful, and so true. You really hit it on the head... We are who we are...and we will never be the same again no matter what...but what we say on here is really what we feel with no recriminations...no judgements... Our world where we can be ourselves and everyone understands. Us "newbies"get through days the best we can right now, and even though that pain will never go away, we are comforted by the wisdom, love, compassion... and sometimes simple truth that others here have found happiness and meaning in the midst of their own grief, and we will also. Don't know when...we each have that part of our journey to walk...but it will happen. And then we will be able to say to others that come here for support after us that it is hard, but it will get better. Even though none of this necessarily brings happy thoughts, I am "happy" you are finding a little bit of yourself now. I think I have begun to do that too. Doesn't make it easier...but the focus of my grief is different. Not sure exactly what I mean by that, but it just seems to "be." Gretchen... Really praying for you right now. I also think I went back to work too soon, but it fills my day and now I just keep going... You know best what is needed. It hurts my heart to know you're in this pain...so wish I could do something. I will be saying Forest's name loud and clear on his birthday. Hold on tight and know we are here for you to let it all out. Dee... Yes, the hallways where Brooks walked daily and enjoyed his youth. Yesterday, one of the teachers just gave me a big hug out of the blue...one of those hugs that says we are also hurting for you and will help you all we can. Some of the kids also gave me big hugs yesterday and today...I guess word got around that I needed them... I told them how much it meant...and it really did mean so much. So miss that from Brooks...think I've mentioned it before but Brooks and I never had a problem showing our love for each other...and he never felt embarrassed. That's how his friends are too. They are so loving towards each other...and now that extends to me and I am grateful. Would have felt a little awkward before, but now it's just normal...good people know when others are hurting and need help. That is why you are all so important to me. Ted... I know that feeling...there's been times when I would hit the wall and use it to numb my pain, but in the end that wasn't me. It didn't help a whole lot...now I get on here and grieve in this way and it is better. I would ask that you just keep posting...a little...a lot...doesn't matter...but it gives an outlet for that grief that we all understand. My wife, Renea, is grieving differently from me, and sometimes doesn't understand why I get on here so much...or why I sleep on the couch...or visit Brooks so much. She gets very emotional visiting Brooks and it makes her sadder...I visit Brooks because I just want to talk to my boy like I did every day of my life. I need that. I just had to tell her that I needed to grieve this way...for me...and I wasn't going to apologize for what I was going through. But I also told her it was helping me and that I was trying my best to get back "myself" so that we could be more "normal" again. That in the end this would make us stronger. She now understands this better...in some ways I want her to grieve more because she seems to be repressing a little, but I have to support her way of grieving too. Be good to yourself, buddy...keep talking to us. I am thinking of making another video slideshow if that's ok. Brooks has new friends...we have new friends... The first one seemed to hit a comforting chord. I was thinking of pics like age progression... Just a thought because I was looking at pics of Brooks when he was younger, and also when I went home my mom had all these pics of when Brooks was little and went to their lake home. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks. Don't know if I mentioned this, but many of Brooks' friends watched that first video and were very touched as well. Peace...love...and a giant hug to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Wanda, I know, the past life we lived just yesterday...it was very different than the life now. I promise that it will get softer, not now, maybe even not soon, but it will in time in tiny increments. . Wanda----- I guess that 'aloneness' is one part of this journey that we all feel.......especially in the early times when the pain and regret is so raw and powerful. I'm sorry. Hoping that your memories. of your dear son, Lane, can warm your heart. Peace to you. Thank you for the kind words, this is why i come here you offer what you have been thru to help me thru the tunnel....i will continue to hold your hands and have you gently pull me through. Sleep well...grateful for the end of the day. Wanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Just thought I'd share this. We all need some some of this... http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/01/budweiser-super-bowl-commercial-horse-puppy/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Gretchen,I'm thinking of you and Forrest tonight. I do know that feeling of being alone in your despair. I'm sure we all do. I have no magic words. Just know that your in my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thinking of you, Chris...Chantal and Ben too. I know it's a new day in the UK right now...hoping the day brings you a little peace and hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Ted, A few months ago I had a similar experience as what it sounds like you are going through. My husband, Sam's stepfather is an over the road truck driver. I ride with him so we are together all the time. I believe out of desperation to make things ok and not wanting to deal with Sam's passing or my sadness, he became very insensitive to my feelings. He would say things like, "you really need to get a grip on this" and "the whole world doesn't revolve around you" or "I'm tired of feeling alone, I want my wife back". Not really having the energy to fight back and not really knowing how I felt about anything but my horrible intense pain, I stuffed my feelings and I cried. This all started the night of the funeral and got progressively worse over the next month. One day I got so very angry with him that I completely lost it. I had a major panic attack. I told him EverytHing that he had ever done that had made me angry. I called him names and cursed at him. This went on for several days until he finally took me back to Kansas and let me out of the truck in a dirt parking lot behind a casino. I had my son's ashes and a suitcase. He called my parents and told them to come and get me. They said they really didn't want to get involved and suggested that he put me in a motel fire awhile. That was a few months back. Things have gotten better because I think I have learned, accepted that I can't rely on others to take care of this. I can't make them understand. I have to take care of me. He still does the same things. Not as often, but like I said earlier I just shut it off and try to deal with it here. Wade, I think a video is an awesome idea. I missed your other one. I think I was very new here and never watched it. I would love to now. Thank your for your encouragement. Dee, Laurie, Kate... Thank you for your responses. I keep trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Debbie... Here is the link. It was good for me to do it so new after Brooks. And I think it helped everyone. Good to see our children together. I would be honored to see Sam with my Brooks and our other angels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Crying is ok...and I am not ashamed! "Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when we can't speak." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Wade, Thank you. That was so beautiful. I don't really know what to say. I am feeling all of this on such a different level. The pain is so deep and intense yet for the first time your video made me feel a connection to all of you and all of your wonderful beautiful children. It is good to feel really connected. Also to my Sam. I miss you so much. I LOVE YOU Sparky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Wade, thank you for the video of the puppy and horse. So very sweet! My Annie was like that when she was about two or three months of age. Full of life and so adorable. I'm so pleased that you are surrounded by caring friends. It really helps to have that added support. A hug out of the blue can work wonders to build you up. Again, very pleased about your award! Thinking of everyone as you go about another day. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Wade....applause for you on your award....I do believe there is a 'something special' ...something stamped on the DNA...some other muscle in the heart....another layer under the skin...To Be a Teacher.... I recognize that in the way you and Dee write/post..... there is the 'teachable words...the offering of educating....the reaching out to the 'student'....the sharing of any and every knowledge you have..... A lesson learned...a lesson to share...I am reminded of the teachers who have taught me...and it wasn't so much what was in the books...but how they taught with the example of how they worked and lived and believed in....the character and integrity of themselves were in front of the classroom every day.... You and Dee bring many 'teachable moments' to all on this site...Thank You and Congrats on your award....so glad that others know what we know....that you are an outstanding Teacher of Many... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 A while back...Shannon posted some things that her son, Aiden, said about...'seeing and playing with others'...the little unseen friends....here is what my daughter-in-law wrote to me about what my GRANDson, Diego said and what he saw...it took me a few days to find it...and I am posting it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thank you I to have faked it for every one else even my wife does not get it sayingI should move on think of the good things why are you crying and the worst she just said so what Nick is dead. I blew up and told her to f off she went to far, I get no support from any one in my family and now i just want to leave them all they are terible and awful to me i love Nick and miss my son so much its all I think of and I am wrong for that I dont think so. I am so mad I could destroy everything I see right now. Thank you guys for being here you are all I have. Ted, I still go through the anger...someone here said they bought a punching bag to help release this...there are different ideas on this, maybe running...but it is good to find ways to vent this that are safe and releasing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 I miss Nick The photos are Nick with his daughter, Nick with his car before prom the car we gave hime for graduation and he and I built also the one he was driving that night. Nick and his family, Nick and his high scholl buds,Nick with his uncle and his first drag race slip ever driving his uncles 68 GTO, Nick and I riding on the Oregon dunes his favort place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Ted, those pics are just awesome. Thanks for sharing. I bet Wade will use some in his new video. Your grandaughter is a cutie pie. Susan, it sounds as if Diego has a special gift and is "sensitive". Very comforting to hear this from a young child. I have to say it would take me aback to see someone sitting in my bathtub at night. Gosh...when Jeff was really young it was a nightmare to get him to have a bath. In his heaven bathtubs probably don't exist. Just a lovely waterfall great for diving into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Susan, is your son Aaron the emergency room doctor? I know you mentioned that one of the boys was a physician.... I have read many stories from the medical field that confirm the existence of more... About his son Diego, I think young children often are more spiritual as they still have their innocence...thank you for sharing this story....it is very comforting and confirms what I have come to believe about these types of things... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yes...Aaron is the Emergency Room Trauma Surgeon....he and Kerry have 4 All American boys...Jack, Diego, Rocky and Ferris....when Kerry shared this...I had to absorb it...and mull over it....and then when I started my reading marathon...I learned of other children having a very natural relationship with the spirit world....and as they grow older...the veil is not as sheer....but they do have recollections and memory..... TBear....Ted....thank you for sharing those photos of your SONshine boy....I did not know he had a wife and daughter...or I could have missed a posting....how are they doing ? Do you have a close relationship with them....if so...they will be a comfort....if not....please try to build a bridge for the daughter...his only child...and you...for one day she will need you to tell her all about 'when her Dad was a little boy'.....for that day will come when she will want to know everything...see every photo...his 'toys'....and she will even want to talk to his friends that knew him. At some level....everyone on this site has felt some sort of 'betrayal'..... And the most hurtful betrayal is that our child died....Betrayal can come in many styles and colors....it could come from the simple fact that....we all grieve in our own unique way....don't let others push you into their way of grieving...you do it your way...in your style....I find that on this site....I am not crazy....I am just mourning... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yes Lora....that little river that slides down our cheeks...slow...and for me...there can be a 'flash'...of a long ago memory that catches me unaware...or something John David said to make us all laugh...it is a blessing and a curse...for me to remember that forgotten memory tucked in layers....and that sharp hit....a zinger.I, too, believe....that photo of your Cara walking stays with me...I don't know why....for there are many that simply glisten with her smile and persona....I guess many are like us....on this site....we wonder how we have survived this long without our child....but we do go on.."For I have promises to keep....and miles to go before I sleep" Gretchen....I have been thinking and thinking of your post....I remember the post where you were going through your scrapbook....and marking each friend/loved one that wasn't here anymore....I and many others have that pause...when the 'shock suit' doesn't fit that tight and we look over our shoulder...and count the ones that are not with us....I will post more later...when I have my thoughts collected about your situation... Debbie....although we try to cover all the ground....we find that we simply don't have that kind of stamina or intelligence...to be 'all for all'.....Laurie made herself a 'nest'....I think her counselor told her to find a place just for herself...I 'cocooned' in a different way.....maybe...for now....you can make yourself a 'nest'....just a big, soft and comfy blanket...books to read...journals to write in....something that can give you some music.....in the truck....you don't have to ask permission...or tell anyone what it 'is or means'.....but you will have that for yourself...the love you have for your children...your Sam...that light....that light and love needs to be focused on you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yes...Aaron is the Emergency Room Trauma Surgeon....he and Kerry have 4 All American boys...Jack, Diego, Rocky and Ferris....when Kerry shared this...I had to absorb it...and mull over it....and then when I started my reading marathon...I learned of other children having a very natural relationship with the spirit world....and as they grow older...the veil is not as sheer....but they do have recollections and memory..... TBear....Ted....thank you for sharing those photos of your SONshine boy....I did not know he had a wife and daughter...or I could have missed a posting....how are they doing ? Do you have a close relationship with them....if so...they will be a comfort....if not....please try to build a bridge for the daughter...his only child...and you...for one day she will need you to tell her all about 'when her Dad was a little boy'.....for that day will come when she will want to know everything...see every photo...his 'toys'....and she will even want to talk to his friends that knew him. At some level....everyone on this site has felt some sort of 'betrayal'..... And the most hurtful betrayal is that our child died....Betrayal can come in many styles and colors....it could come from the simple fact that....we all grieve in our own unique way....don't let others push you into their way of grieving...you do it your way...in your style....I find that on this site....I am not crazy....I am just mourning...They were not married just live together and she is part of th reason he is gone she was gready and would not let him see the girl after they split up and it drove him to being reckless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chris_P Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thanks everyone who responded to my post about Adam. It really helps. Wade, I looked at Brooks other videos.......boy was he talented! You are rightly so proud. Can I tell you a strange thing that happened today. There have been a few strange 'coincidences' since Adam died which we put down to just that, coincidence. We went out shopping today to the supermarket. It was the first time we had gone together since Adam left us. We had been in the store for only a minute or so when the Green Day song, 'Time of your life' comes on over the speakers. This was the song that we used with the video of Adam's pictures and it was played at his celebration. Now that may not seem to weird to you but that is not a big song in the UK. I don't think most people here even know that band. It's not a song that gets played on the radio here, never mind in a supermarket. I only know it because they used it in the last ever episode of Seinfeld! Now we don't share the faith that a lot of you do (mores the pity, but we don't) but we just looked at each other, half crying, half smiling thinking what the heck.... It's just the sort of mischievous thing Adam would do! OK, maybe you had to be there but I'm keeping a note !! Chris x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted January 30, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 I'm reading and catching up. I just haven't been in a place where I'm able to post much. I just wanted to stop in and let everyone know I'm thinking of all of you. Even when I have no words I can come here and read what you all share and know that I'm not alone. Thank you for that. Susan, Thank you for sharing Diego's story. I do believe our little one's are sensitive. Debbie and Ted, I know that feeling of being 'pushed along' or not having the people close to you really be able to understand. We have this place. As I read what you've both written it touches my heart because it is very like the way things were with my husband and I in the very beginning of this. Like Wade, I just stated my need to grieve in my way and carved out my 'space' to do that. Chris, I believe completely in your experience. It seems our Children come through with music so often. I know Trista has for me. There is a song, In the Arms of an Angel, that we played at her services. She comes through with that song so often, especially for my Sister, who is the one who actually chose it to be played at her services. My Sister said that every time she comes to visit me, while on her way, that song comes on. Not only does it play, it plays at almost the same spot. The road she turns on to come to our house. It happens no matter station she is on. I'm glad you felt the touch of Adam today. There is more I want to say, to respond too but I'm just so tired right now. I'll try to post more later. Thinking of all today and sending peaceful wishes and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Tbear, I am sorry that you are having to hide your grief in order to be around others, that is not fair. Many couples do not grieve together, it puts great strain on marriages and so I hope that your wife realizes that there are other ways in which to deal with this loss, this devastation. MY husband is not my the father of my kids and he never had kids of his own, and at first, he kept warning me to not be so nervous about everything around my Son, worried that I would make it worse for my Son. For a while I felt angry at him for that but that is not a big thing, eventually I had to explain that my heart was always going to have a hole and that yes, there will be good in my life again, but that at that time, early on, I would need to just be without anyone's opinions unless I asked. He understood and I went to therapy at the 6 month mark and found this place at the same time. You need to be true to your grief, just as you are true to the good in your life because now, both are a part of you. One day, there will be more balance but not now. No. Would you and wife ever consider going to therapy together? Chris, I love the way ERi comes to us through music. She comes in often in that way, to me and to many of her friends and her cousins. I would definitely take note of this lovely experience because no matter the belief system, it is a wonderful treat to be serenaded in this way. Peace out. Oh by the way, that song was also used on a memorial slide show Eri's cousins put together for the wake, and it was on a CD her friends put together as songs that remind them of ERi.Treats. Sus, thanks, teachers are lucky in so many ways, we mostly do this job because we love it and no two days are ever alike...but to be noticed for our style of teaching or our tenacity in helping others is such a great thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Chris....I am giving you a 'wink'.....and that was your boy for sure....that song was one that could get your attention...and hold you....in the one way he could. Ted....that is an agony for grandparents....that one holds a child hostage....there are no winners in that situation...everyone loses....especially the child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Lora----The writing you posted.....about memories .....is so true. Thanks for posting. Ted-----I agree with the others here, that we want you to keep coming to BI and writingabout your dear son, Nick. While at the time, especially early on, we may not think thattelling others about our dear children who left this world too soon will help us in anyway.......it actually can help us by letting others know just how wonderful and uniqueour child was, and still is. This journey is made up of many baby steps, and rarelymade in giant steps. Sometimes we take a step forward, and then a couple back, butat the same time, we are making some progress. We stick on this path to honor ourdear children. Peace to you. Wade----thanks for the great video of the horse & the puppy. I believe the pup is ayellow lab, isn't he? The video is sooo cute. Also, Thanks for the saying you postedabout "tears being prayers too". I did not think of tears as prayers before, and felt thatit was my shortcoming that the words would not come, but God does hear these special prayers. Carol---Good to see Mike's smile. I agree with you.....that each and every one who comeshere to BI and posts has something to offer, and may not know it, but can give comfort tosomeone else.......no matter if they've been on the road a long time, or have just joined in.Heartfelt words .....wherever they come from are a solace and comfort to us all. Dee----Still cold here, but predictions are that it will warm up a bit to the 30s. That will feellike a heat wave. Our back roads are a mess, and tricky to navigate......so much iceunder the snow----the road crews have a big job trying to clear them. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Our backyard during snowfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Susan,Thank you for sharing the story about Diego. I listen to the youngest of my grandchildren talk about seeing Sam with God. They speak in details. I believe they are more open to recieving gifts of comfort sent by God. I have much to share, but it is hard right now as we are up and driving. I find myself wanting to come here more often. I will have my quiet time after we deliver this load and will write more later.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Well Debbie...and all that are on the grief journey....none of us here expect anything..or words...or what is in you...to come forth...until you are ready.....you see....we have all been on that journey, too.....We are just here to let you know....you...are not alone...in all this travels.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Geez...Sherry....looks too cold for me...but beautiful....in His world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Sherry, your snow photos is lovely. We are supposed to get 6-10 inches on Friday through Saturday. I love that but then I heard we will dip to zero again on Monday, that part is rough. The snow is great. I love the tears are prayers thoughts, thanks Lora and Wade. Susan, I love LOVE the Diego story. It is true and right that the most innocent, open, and unspoiled by too many ideas from others, have a clear and undeniable knowing---I love that Diego has this connection to his Uncle being present. This is the kind of story that adds so much hope to the lives of others as it offers a fresh-eyed-glimpse of Spirit being nearby. Thanks- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tam Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 I lost my oldest son on 11-18-12 I just survived my year of "firsts" of life without him. His Birthday is Feb.6 he would have turned 31. I too am struggling with the diminishing support, life moves on with or without us. I have one other son in college 10 years younger. I struggle with the guilt of not being the same person I was. The sadness of his loss is such a heavy load. He was a type 1 diabetic and had an insulin reaction in the car, he was killed in an accident on a sunny Sunday morning a mile from home. He was a beautiful young man, with a beautiful future, snatched away. I feel so helpless sometimes, my husband, son and I are hurting so bad and there's nothing we can do but try to get through each day right now. Small steps, just trying to be gentle and kind to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Oh Tam... please tell us about your child..and you and yours....let us know your story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 One of my students just committed suicide tonight...and I really need your prayers. My principal called me just a few minutes ago and now I'm not ok. Everything was getting better. Brooks I miss you so much and can't keep doing this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Oh Wade....I am here in my Brenham town..in Washington County ...in the great State of Texas....but...there is nothing as great as the people of this great place of Texas....with that said....we know we cover a lot of ground.....But....we also have hearts that are amazing in our scope and directions....as you know.... the news...that a student' commited suicide'....your school...your ground...will paralyze..you...Oh Dee....I...we...need you now.....they need to hear from you..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tbearw58 Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Wade my prayers to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SamDsmom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Oh Wade, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your students family. Please hang in there. Know we are all praying for your and the family.Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Oh Sweet Angels, oh please hold the hearts and spirits of the community of students teachers and friends of the young one whose despair took him from this place. Hold his family close knowing that what they now face is indelible and its weight is beyond measure. Hold Sweet Wade as he mourns again, wonders again, cries out in agony for the young lives that he nurtured-gone in a moment. Please give him what he needs to find his footsteps and ours, so that he will again walk forward but give him the knowledge that it is okay for him to stop his forward movement when tragedy finds him. Please Angels, let us hold Wade and the family in our energy and we know you will with yours, Brooks in the lead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chris_P Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 So so sorry for you Wade and for another family that join this saddest of all clubs. You are so strong and have such insight I know you will find a way through this. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Wade, I can't find the words to adequately convey my feelings. My heart reaches out to the family and friends... knowing fully well their despair. I will keep you all in my prayers this day and know that I am always here to talk. Sending my heartfelt love and condolences. Tam, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Please share with us when you are up to it. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 31, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Wade, I am so sorry for the family of this student...I know this brings up many of those raw feelings again for you...sending prayers for you and this family...((HUGS)) I can see Brook's smiling face greeting him, "Welcome to Eternity" Tam, I lost my son in October of 2012 when an inattentive driver ran him over in his own lane...you are right that the second year is different, support gets thin...however I have found many wonderful people on this site who have held my hand during this journey...please share as you are able... For all of Our Angels and dedicated to Wade's student "To Where You Are" Who can say for certainMaybe you're still hereI feel you all around meYour memory's so clearDeep in the stillnessI can hear you speakYou're still an inspirationCan it beThat you are mineForever loveAnd you are watching over me from up aboveFly me up to where you areBeyond the distant starI wish upon tonightTo see you smileIf only for awhile to know you're thereA breath away's not farTo where you areAre you gently sleepingHere inside my dreamAnd isn't faith believingAll power can't be seenAs my heart holds youJust one beat awayI cherish all you gave me everyday'Cause you are myForever loveWatching me from up aboveAnd I believeThat angels breatheAnd that love will live on and never leaveFly me upTo where you areBeyond the distant starI wish upon tonightTo see you smileIf only for awhileTo know you're thereA breath away's not farTo where you areI know you're thereA breath away's not farTo where you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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