Loss of an Adult Child

[wgreenlee]

Thank you for the awesome songs and new photos. It really helps me and I am grateful that it helps you. That's what my friend said when people were helping us out...just be grateful and remember to pay it back when you can...and so I will.

For you Brooks...looking through some old albums and decided to write for you again.

My Son…Brooks Christian Greenlee

I wish I had you by my side

You were the best friend I ever had

Not being able to see you grow as a man

Hurts me inside everyday that goes by

The stories I hear from your friends

Makes me think I missed so much

But we had our own adventures

Before our last long good-bye

I hope you felt my last touch

That last kiss I gave you on your cheek

As you and I alone had our last moment

Just as in life, apart but inseparable

You have all our best stuff with you

Bat, ball, glove, music, pictures

And we have all of your best stuff

Smile, laughter, music, and love

You were a kind, caring man

And I loved you so much for that

I just wish I had one more moment

Just one more to be together

I wanted to be there for you always

I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the end

You know I would have protected you

And kept you safe from harm

Now I bide the time till we meet again

Looking at pictures and listening to your songs

Thinking of the amazing things you would accomplish

Reveling in the man you had become

God has called you home

I don’t know why

But just remember this

I am your dad and you are my son

Tiime is passing, but my love for you will endure forever...Dad

[Jeff's Mom]

Morning everyone, as I forgot to sign out last night... thought I'd jump in and say "hello". Debbie,thinking of you and hoping the truck is now up and on the road. Wade, as always...your poem is so moving. Thanks for sharing and being such a thoughtful person.

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

Cara, I love the connection that you felt when you came here, knowing that somehow Eri was with Cara, showing her around, all because of the minister's mistake of a name and then your boss asking you to contact this place in Kalamazoo, where my Girl lived and died. I feel very connected to Cara and to you because of this. Cara and Erica have many similarities, the hilarious streak that runs through them both, the clumsy...oh my, the deep friendships formed between our Girls and their friends, and that free spirit. And I so see this between Cara and Tris as well. I do believe we are brought together out of the love and the connections our Angels make and that they take heart in our staying connected.

Shannon, I love that the band was in Kalamazoo doing that song. I loved it. Wow those percussionists were amazing, Erica would have been out there dancing, definitely to the beat of a different drum but dancing nevertheless. Thanks for that Shannon.

Sandy, how are you today? Shelly? Greg? Dan? Leah? Carol? Betsy, Betty, Bonnie? Claudia? Kathy? Trudi? Laurie? Jen? Pam? Kay? Debbie?Wendy?

Kate, I hope that it is a fabulous day for you and Ross.

Sherry sends her deep love and ever-gentle spirit to you each.

I give thanks each day for this family, for each of you and I pray that one day your hearts will feel a bit of healing, a bit of warmth, and you find your purpose here on Earth.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wade,

I love the poem for Brooks.

"I wanted to be there for you always

I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the end

You know I would have protected you

And kept you safe from harm"

I know our Children know we would go to the ends of the earth to protect them and would have stopped at nothing if we could have.

The collage is a beautiful tribute to the never-ending love of a Father and Son.

Lora,

The text from Cara to her friend shows such a loving Spirit. Her words to her friend now apply to us. There is a lot of wisdom there.

Becky,

That's so sweet that you were able to help that Boy in Jared's name. I'm sure Jared is smiling.

Dee, I also believe that we were all brought together here and am so thankful for this family.

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My Gramma got here this morning and we are going to start our Thanksgiving prep. Tomorrow will be just us but on Friday my Sis and here family will come and spend the night. We plan on just all spending the day together. We have a small candle lighting ceremony planned for Trista and on Saturday morning we are going to all go together to her site to decorate for Christmas. I know it's going to be tough but I think the ways we will be including and honoring Trista will help. I found some stuff called "flying wish paper" I don't know if any of you have ever seen it. I had never heard of it before but found it accidentally. I ordered some and we are going to include it in our ceremony for Tris. You can write a message on the paper and then light it. It floats upward and burns out quickly. I was a little nervous about doing it indoors but it's meant to be done indoors and all the reviews say it's perfectly safe. I thought it would be a neat way to carry our messages to Trista. Sort of an indoor version of a balloon release. I thought I'd share it. It might be something good to do at holiday get togethers. I think we will do it again at Christmas and the New Year when we all are together.

Here's a link to it on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Flying-Wish-Paper-Purple-Large/dp/B0042GEDRO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385574371&sr=8-1&keywords=flying+wish+paper

I'm thinking of everyone today.

Shannon

[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUsa77MfVpI

Words certainly apply here, as most Eddie Vedder songs.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Dee, I just love the picture of Erica in the tree...it is one of my favorites with her hair swinging in all directions, just having fun...along with the Shaft of Light...

Lora, thought deeply about what you wrote...prayers of strength for you...love the text that was sent...

Shannon, thanks for the nice comments on Jesse...I will have to look up the wishing fly paper...

Susan, how are you doing, wondering about how things are coming together for your holiday...

I am glad to hear from Sherry...miss her posts...wishing her a peaceful holiday...

Wade, that is a beautiful peom for your son...thank you for sharing it...I identify with this verse of it...

"I wanted to be there for you always

I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the end

You know I would have protected you

And kept you safe from harm"

Don't know how many times in my spirit that I yelled loudly out to Jesse, "I'm sorry"...

Hopefully Debbie your truck is running...let us know how things are going there...

Kate, how is Ross doing?

Colleen, thinking of you as this is the first year for you to host the Thanksgiving dinner...

Becky, read about your donation to the family...what a lovely, thoughtful way to honor Jared...

Thinking of Gretchen, Wendy, Shelly, Carol, Betsy, Barbara today as well...Cherish's mom, Jena and all the other newcomers that have posted..

Here is a letter I received some months after Jesse left...thought it might be a good thing to post...also is the picture of the wristlet that Jesse left me...I have worn it non-stop...

[ericasmom]

I weep...

[mikesmomrs]

sorry, double post.

[mikesmomrs]

Just wanted to come on and tell everyone that I hope you are able to have a good day tomorrow. I know it is hard, especially that first one, and some of you may have chosen to just not do it, and that is OKAY, Whatever YOU decide to do is OKAY. As has been said here many times, we must grieve in our own way and this is what is important, not what anyone else has to say about how you are grieving. You all are remembered in my prayers often. We are having a very small gathering, just my younger daughter and her two children. The older one, Davis, is the one who lives with me. So Jamie and his mom will join Davis and I for dinner. Last year we had the full traditional Thanksgiving dinner, despite having just lost my husband in August. But I know that both he and our son, Mike, would want us to do that and I found that, for me, it was better to be doing, than to not. Having grandkids also makes us move forward when we really don't want to. The healing this time (for the loss of my husband) is slow and painful, just a before with the loss of our son. But this time it seems that I have lost our son again, because of my husband and I sharing him so much through the years since his passing. Now with my husband gone, that daily sharing is not there any longer. Fortunately, both of his sisters are good at talking about him, and we still share our tears when they come. My tears are always right behind my eyelids right now for my husband, but the days do find the edge smoothing out some and for this I am thankful. The signs they send to all of us help, as well. I have a recent one that I would like to share, but have to go just now as Damon (Mike's youngest) is here for the day. Take care all, and know that you are held in the hearts of your angels, just as you hold them in your own heart. WADE: My computer has been in "safe mode" for a few weeks now due to a problem with windows, and so I was not able to watch the slideshow. I finally did try on my phone to access it, but got a message that it had been blocked due to the music that accompanied it. I did get to see young Mike's picture, though, as it is right on top at the beginning,. I hope I can see it one day. It was so very thoughtful and kind of you to put it together. PS: KATE: So wonderful to hear of that things are looking up for Ross! Sweet gifts.

[Mermaid Tears]

The Angels weep....not for our lost children....

but for us....

for they know they cannot heal our broken hearts...

nor can their wings bring a wind to console us.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Well, we have very good news. The results of the CT scan came yesterday. Things are definitely looking up. Thank you, Lord! Thinking of everyone today and hoping you will find some joy.

Kate

Kate, that is wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We celebrate with you and Ross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carol, it was good to see your post...wishing you a nice Thanksgiving with your family that is coming for the meal...

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Susan, thanks for posting the pics...how are things with you...

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Dee, it was a very moving song you posted, thanks for sharing...

[Jeff's Mom]

Oh Laurie, I can definitely see that! Thank you very much. We are really pleased and hoping that this will continue. For now we are going with the positive flow. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and continued support over these past difficult few months. I am wishing everyone on the site that is celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow...peace, loving memories, and a good day. I must say that looking at all the wonderful pictures of these amazing kids just warms my heart. And a very good thing too as it snowed a full foot today. It has finally stopped. And it truly is magical. White fluffy snow that is absolutely powder. Wish I was a kid again and could go and make some snow angels. I am happy to say that Ross had some pictures of Jeff scanned today and I hope to have them to Wade in a few days. Can't leave my boy out of this. Love to all, Kate

[Guest]

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[Mystical psychic/medium]

https://www.facebook.com/Mysticalphyschicmedium

Like our page for a beautiful serene spiritual journey

[Mystical psychic/medium]

https://www.facebook.com/Mysticalphyschicmedium

Like our page for a serene spiritual journey

[Jeff's Mom]

Thank you Mystical psychic...but my boy had already payed his mom a visit and I know he is ok. Lora, I have the photos ready and set to send to Wade. At long last! He is a big guy. Looks very much like Carols boy. He was a full 6'2" in grade 12. He weighed 220 lbs.! They called him the refrigerator when he played goal. He truly had a John Candy sense of likeability.

[ericasmom]

Laurie, that letter is lovely, a lovely and wonderful gift to be sure. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. Your Boy lives on in the stories and hearts in many houses, in many towns. He always will.

I am glad that you liked the music, I have been listening to good stuff all day long. Feels right.

Lora, glad that you too like the music. I hope that work is good for you, feels right and that you are smiling. Snow by you?

Big snow near Sherry, she wants me to give you love and tell you Happy Thanksgiving.

Kate, what good news, I don't know why but I never saw that post either, good reports on the cat scans. Now good news from your doctors tomorrow and a nice walk and cup of tea or coffee.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

[wgreenlee]

Here is Jeff...yeh he was a big guy. Kate, I'm assuming he played hockey goalie and not soccer...hope so anyway. I played goalie as well...lived in N. Minnesota so hockey was big, and then went to Univ MInn.-Duluth when Brett Hull was there. Loved going to those games. I bet he covered the whole net. Tough to score on guys that big. And the Stanley Cup...oh, how I would love to see that. When and where was that? Just love the picture of him holding the can of (beer ?). Can't make out the name... And thank Ross for the pics. So glad to hear the good news. So needed right now!!! Thank you, God!!!

Lora...I can delete the music and add some others so it will show up on the mobile devices. I actually used Soundcloud for some of the music and then edited them a little. If I buy the music on iTunes will it show up then? Thanks for the info. I will upload the new slideshow tonight or tomorrow with some instrumental stuff I have and see if it works. If not, I will need your help. Thanks.

Loving the music and new pics. Thank you. Everyone have a wonderful and bright Thanksgiving...even those of you up North.

Wade

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Kate,

I loved seeing the pictures of Jeff. Love love love those freckles. I'm so glad we get to see his face. He does look like the kind of guy who could make you laugh when you're down. Love that smile.

Becky,

The picture of Jared is beautiful and the words are so true.

Laurie,

That letter you shared is such a beautiful tribute to Jesse. We know who our Children are but to hear how they touched others is such a sweet gift.

Dee,

I've also been listening to a lot of music. Sometimes I can't and sometimes I just need to loose myself in music for awhile. Thank you for sharing the songs that are close to your heart I've found a lot of comfort in them.

Wade,

When I made a slideshow for Trista I had the same problem even though I owned the music. I'm not sure why but youtube and facebook kept kicking it off for copyright infringement. I used a site called vimeo.com and I had no problem at all. Just another option for you to look into.

Lora,

Thank you for sharing the idea of the fairy jars. It looks like it would be really pretty and Aiden would love doing that for Sissy. I can relate to much of what you shared earlier but am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. You are definitely not a crazy woman though. You are grieving Mother.

I'm thinking of everyone and wish some peace for all tomorrow. I may be back to post later. I'm having a rough time. If not please know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

My niece, Dani, who was so very close to Tris... more like sisters than cousins (when they were growing up they called themselves The Rock n Roll Sisters) wrote this and shared it on Trista's website. I needed this today.

Lead Me

I remember when we were walking, and it was dark and I was scared

But you took my hand and you lead me

And I remember when that boy broke my heart, and I was devastated and I cried

But you took my hand and you lead me

And I remember when I was uncertain of whom I wanted to be, and things were strange, and I was confused

But you took my hand and you lead me

And I remember when we were so little and you moved away, and I was so lost, and I sat and cried the first time I had to be at grandmas without you

But you came back, and you took my hand and you lead me

And I know that you are happy now, I know that you are surrounded by love and beauty, and you deserve that more than any single person I know

And I think about you every single day

And sometimes it makes me cry, but sometimes my heart can feel full

Because I know that our love for each other is infinite, it will never fade, whether you are here or there

And I know that one day I will leave as you did, and things will be beautiful, and I will reach out

And you will take my hand and lead me

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Laurie,

"Don't know how many times in my spirit that I yelled loudly out to Jesse, "I'm sorry"..."

Me too... yelled, cried, whispered...I'm so so sorry.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Ok, this sucks and I'm sorry... I know there are others going through the first holidays. I feel like maybe I'm handling this so badly but I'm so lost. I miss my Trista so much. I've been so back and forth on what to do. I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up and find that it's January 2, 2014 and everything is over. Even more than that I want to wake up and it's June 1, 2013 and can do everything over again. I know many of us are having a hard time with this holiday. I want to be positive. I'm trying. I was going to skip it. Then I thought of my Boys. Aiden is young enough he doesn't know what day it is but Zak does so at the very last minute I'm rushing through the grocery buying pumpkin and pie and turkey. It's definitely not going to be our traditional meal but it's something. And here is my Grandma saying... yes, lets just have pizza. Then running through the grocery with grabbing our last minute Thanksgiving meal. I couldn't ask for better support. She's 84 years old yet there she is supporting my breakdowns. I just needed to vent. I don't know what I'm doing, what I want to do, what I need to do for my Boys. Gosh, I sound like a basketcase and I will probably delete this but this is the place I know I can come. I don't want to make anyone else feel bad. I just don't know how to do this.

Shannon

[ericasmom]

Hi All, we had a scare this eve. We got a call from Shannon and she asked if we would come to the ER with she and Baby, Erica was having an allergic reaction. She gave her benedryl but still it was wise to go. The rash on Erica's face was all around her eye adn down her cheek onto her neck and around her mouth. Her lip was swollen. Thankfullly, her breathing was not affected so we just sat and waited for several hours until they could see that she was okay to go home. My Son came about a half hour after we arrived at the ER. He was at work and stuck on the highway. The ER was very crowded. Anyhow, scary but we are grateful that she is fine. We are as of yet, unsure of what she reacted to.

Prayers.

I love the wish paper Shannon, thanks for the link. I also love the fairy jars Lora, so adorable.

Kate, I was so glad to see Jeff, thank you for having Ross send the photos to Wade. What a fine young man, such pretty eyes. I love the red hair on your boys as young ones.

Sleep well everyone, dream sweetly.

[ericasmom]

Well Shannon, we posted at the same time, now I will tell you no, not a basket case, but a grieving Momma, just as you have said to others here, you are a grieving parent, and there is nothing harder to be Sweetie. Of course you don't know how to do this, what to do that will be best for the boys, this is new and it was unwanted and you were thrust into it in a moment. I'd say you are doing well even when you don't think so. Maybe you can tell the boys tomorrow that you just did not know what to do and so you decided to make a turkey but you could do a pizza and make the turkey on Friday when the guests are coming over...Which ever way, your Boys have a Mom who is doing what she can to find her way and the best way for them. Your Gramma is a doll, and somehow you will all find yourselves in tomorrow scratching out a plan.

We used our instincts when they were born...there is nothing natural in us that prepares us for how to deal with this.

I love the poem Trista's cousin wrote. Lovely.

[Jeff's Mom]

Dee, so happy to hear that the baby is ok. I'm sure it was a very scary evening for one and all. Thanks for your compliments on Jeff. He was a big boy from day one. Can you believe that those pics are from his high school grad? He always looked way beyond his years. The pic of him holding the beer can is at a hotel in Toronto when he went to see a U2 concert with some friends. He shaved the beard off not long after. Gosh he reminds me of Carols son in the photo. The pic of him standing far too close to the edge of the mountain was taken when he was fifteen and we were in Banff on our way to a summer hockey camp for the Portland Winter Hawks. He was a great young man and a friend to all. I see a couple of the pics didn't scan all that well. Oh well, they give you an idea of what he is like. Thanks again, Wade.

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon, I agree with Dee. You are doing remarkably well for the effort you have shown this first period. It is so hard and I hope you will just let tomorrow take its own course. Your Gram is indeed a doll to be there to give her support. Just let the day unfold and allow yourself time to relax. Sending huge (HUGS) Kate

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Dee and Kate,

Thank you. This is so hard. I'm going to just see what tomorrow brings. I want to be the Mom that my Boys deserve but some days I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

Shannon

[lovU2themoon]

Wade, thank you for your video, i had to watch in small parts, first with no sound. But i am moved to tears seeing all our kids together, Thank you.

Shannon, you are right this sucks!

My daughter and i are going away for Christmas, i can't wake up Christmas morning without my Lane.

We are taking a trip, a place Lane would never go to, and we are flying, Lane never would fly.

Just for this year, or maybe the next one too.

My doctor and counselor said, "do what you need to do". My family is having "Christmas Eve", which we will go to, and we fly out Christmas day and we come back New years day, and we are staying at my sisters house, so i wont be waking up at home.

I wont be easy no matter what we do, but I just cant stay here.

Last year we were in Disneyland Dec 27 to Jan 3. The 3 of us having a blast.

Same with returning to work. been told at this point it will "complicate" things, so I have taken some more time off.

I continue on with my grief groups, i have found a group of moms who have all lost kids to tragic losses.

The group is finished, but we decided to continue meeting.

We are all at different stages of loss and like this group, many are full of great advise.

I hope they help, really i am not sure what helps, this is soooo hard every day.

I think what helps is one day at a time.

I don't think too far ahead.

Such a painful journey we are on.

Thinking of you all as we enter the holiday season.

My sweet Lane, I love and miss you sooo much.

[Mommysangelisabella]

Happy thanksgiving to everyone !

Shannon as i say this to everyone i feel a panic attack creeping up my throat right now its hard to breath. I understand what your feeling . So much i cant sleep. I needed you to know your not alone. Truly not alone. My heart breaks every moment for my isabella as your does for trista. I to hv been playing the what to do for this day game. Trying to balance my want of never leaving bed to giving my boys a great holiday. For me im just going to breath. Im going to decided what we are doing in that moment. To start we are making turkeys out of pinecones glitter glue google eyes and construction paper. Can i ask where did you find all the butterflys and fairys for trista. Ive been starting my search for the perfect purple butterfly orderment for my tree for bella. Im not sure if it was you or caras mama who wrote about the fairy jars. But as soon as i opened the site i knew this is what id been looking for for her. So we are gonna do that on christmas eve. Thank you. Shannon thank you for sharing your feelings and not hiding them. It lets me know also im not alone in this pain.

Wade,

Thank you for all the hard work . You and brooks are always in my prayers.

Debbie,

I pray you and your husband are alright and youve made it safely to your home town. I pray you have strenght with your family and going threw your sams stuff.

Susan,

my heart is hapoy with your great news.,i will keep praying for you.

Dee, jill,, gretchen,kate,, laurie, and all of my family wich i hvnt named but are just as loved. Thank you for being you, thank you for giving me strenght. have the best thanksgiving you can. As it has been said before we all do have something to be greatful for . We were given our angels some for months others for years all to short but we were given them. So when im being asked what im thankful for its for my little girl who is now dancing in heaven with god and her friends and for my boys her brothers and every smile they still are here to share with me. All my love and prayers to you all. This to is my first major holiday without her. The next three months will be a ride . Today thanksgiving then christmas then her due date . Just breath just breath............. I will continue with tradition i will go to my moms for awhile tomarrow(maybe) my family is always together on the holidays. Then its to bed early and black friday shopping. Which is for the first time bringing my anxity ad well, who knew. Life is painful unending and weird now.....

[shellykut]

Dear Indigos - On this Thanksgiving morning, I pray there is a measure of peace for all who come here. As hard as it is, let us give thanks for the angels God brought to our lives...that He chose us to be their caretakers, to love more than we thought possible.

My heart to all...

Shelly

[Guest]

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[shorty16]

To all my friends who know.

I pray we each find at least one thing to be thankful for today. For me, I am thankful for:

1. My marriage survived the death of a child.

2. My 2 surviving children are also surviving the death of there brother.

3. I found this website and other people who can understand how I feel.

4. I have found prayer in my life and it has worked wonders.

5. We will laugh and cry today and that is ok.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[JD's Mom, Becky]

The signs below the Adopt-a-Highway signs had begun to fade, so today I replaced them.

[Newbie17]

Hello everyone,

I too wish we could fast forward the holiday time. your pictures of your children are beautiful. Does it ever deepen the hole in my heart from missing my angel. I have three other kids that I am trying to be present for. As my youngest who all his life felt like he took side stage to his brother and his horrible disease ( I remember spending several holidays in the hospital) puts it to me as when I asked if we could just have pizza " no mom this is my childhood too" . when I am all that they have right now- I will do my best. But Thankyou for affirming I am not alone in wanting to run from this time and also the disappointment I have with life. Lord hear our heart cry out to you and carry us through, to not just to be present but find any remnant joy you would have for us. yes I am thankful for three healthy children that keep me going right now.

Jena

[wgreenlee]

Praying for God's Blessings on all of you and your families! Thank you for everything you have done for me!!!

Wade

Becky...

I hope everyone sees that sign and remembers...pay attention...get off the phone...and slow down.

[ericasmom]

Amen to that Colleen, to all of what you are grateful for and to all you give of yourself to those here with us.

Wade, in just a short time you have turned your ache into action by doing kind acts here on our site, I know the ache remains, oh how I know, but I hope you know how dear your creative outreach has affected so many. Brooks smiles on and casts his love on you with each moment.

Becky the sign is gorgeous, it shows the love and the care and the concern for others. May you feel Jared all around you today, each day.

Jena, yes, it is so so painful to live in this day, and tomorrow and the foreseeable future but I do not make promises lightly, one day you will find the pieces of today and build them onto the next and you will go forward with less despair. You will find ways to be present in the days and honor your Boy each day too. It takes time. What a sweetheart your little one is, he needs this holiday and while it may not feel right to him or you, he needs to put this effort in to try and repair a bit. I think the hardest part for those of you with young ones is that your grief is very different, not at all on the same time table and the needs are different for kids in grief. It must be exhausting for you parents with young ones and at the same time life affirming. My hope to you for a day that feels better than you thought it would or could.

Happy Thanksgiving to All. For those of you with your first holiday without your Child, know that we are holding you and letting your tears fall on our shoulders. We sure do get it. Let your tears fall, just as I would say to let your smiles show when they come. How else can we be honest in honoring our Children?

I just made two pumpkin pies and one apple. I am going for a walk in the cold sunny day and when I return, I will make an apple cranberry crisp and a brussle sprout dish...all to take to my Son's, in-laws just a mile from here in town. The house smells like a cinnamon stick and I feel cozy. Thanks to all who sent good vibes to my Grandgirl Erica, she is doing well and we are ever so grateful.

[Jeff's Mom]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Sending warm wishes to Everyone for a lovely day. Dee, Ross asked me to have you set another place at the table. He is a lover of brussel sprouts! Candies of nature he calls them. The desserts sound yummy. Thinking of everyone today and hoping your day was peaceful and blessed in a special way with loving memories. Love, Kate

[wgreenlee]

Here's the new video slideshow. I added new pictures and some new music. Helped the time go by... I took Shannon's advice and uploaded it to Vimeo so hopefully it will work on the mobile phones. The previous one worked on my iPad, but that must be different than the phones. Hopefully! If not, I have another with just instrumental.

Your children are so beautiful. I've seen the photos so many times that I feel like I've known them for a long time. So many precious memories. Again, thank you for sharing your angels with me.

Love to all and hope your day is going well and will end even better.

Wade

https://vimeo.com/80580893

[Jeff's Mom]

Yes, our children are beautiful. And YOU are a beautiful person for taking the time to put this heartfelt video together for us. A beautiful and moving tribute to our amazing kids! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a great Thanksgiving gift. Love, Kate

[lovU2themoon]

Yes, our children are beautiful. And YOU are a beautiful person for taking the time to put this heartfelt video together for us. A beautiful and moving tribute to our amazing kids! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a great Thanksgiving gift. Love, Kate

Agreed,

Love, Wanda

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wade,

I agree. What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift. My Grandma and I watched together and of course the tears came but it was a beautiful ending to our Thanksgiving. I said each Child's name as we watched so Gramma would know who she was seeing. We both are very thankful for you and your gift. Our Angels are beautiful.

Shannon

[Sholl1955]

Hello all. Stopping by to let you know that you were in my thoughts a lot today. I know it was a tough day for everyone. SHANNON: I think that you are doing well for being so new in your loss. Dealing with grief and little ones in grief is very very hard. And that doesn't take into account the daily needs and care that you do. We are very involved in our granddaughters lives since Sarah died. They are little girls, Becca is 5 and Maddie turns 7 the 12th of December. It is heartbreaking to see them miss their mama, and as with us, it is something they deal with on a regular daily basis., But they also have that wonderful ability to make us smile and even laugh when we least expect it. DEE, you are right It is challenging. I am so glad that little Erica is ok. It is so scary when a child has an allergic reaction. It happens so fast. You feel so helpless. Thanks also for asking about us. My husband and I spent the day just us. Tomorrow evening we will be going with my daughter Rachel and son in law Jason to Jason's mother's house. My heart isn't in it but I think it will be good for my relationship with Rachel, and will help them to have one less place to have to go. Also all of the grandbabies will be there so it will be a crazy fun time. Being home today was ok and I had no problem with it, but, when I awoke I was hit out of the blue with intense grief. I didn't expect it since we got through last year 9 months after Sarah died. I have literally been in tears all day. I never liked to cry and now sometimes there is no controlling it. We had planned to go out to Bob Evans for dinner and to get out of the house a bit, so I got ready and thought I was doing well and half way through dinner, was crying again. So when we got back home I decided I needed to do something to keep busy, so put up a small Christmas tree. I spent a lot of time fluffing it up and decorated it nothing like I normally would. No ornaments with memories, Just pretty ones. It does look nice, but the tears did flow all afternoon too. I have been fighting a cold/flu since last Sunday, which probably adds to it, but I also think Sarah's Birthday is Sunday, and I have been thinking a lot about 35 years ago as we were anticipating her coming into our family, our first born. Saturday there is a party for our little Sierra (Rachel's little girl who will be 3 on the second) and then Rachel's birthday is the 5th and Sarah's Maddie's on the 12th. Way too many special days without Mama, Sister, and Daughter. I really must have still been in a fog state last year because I got through it a lot better last year. Oh how I hate being without her!!! But I do know that we will get past this and move forward again because we have to. I remember when I first came to this site, Dee did promise that things would get better in time. I honestly did not believe it. You get thrown into that deep dark place and it takes such hard work to claw your way up out of it, but we do, then we slide back but there is a point that we realize we aren't sliding as far back . And I believe that the hands from this site that reach out and grab onto ours and hold on, are what helps us continue to work at going forward. We will never ever be the same but we have a lifeline of wonderful people to help us when the bad times come, and I believe there will always be things that cause us to slide backwards for a bit of time. Thank you to all of you for being here. Ok, so I am a real "Chatty Cathy" tonight and wrote a novel,so I had better go for now. Prayers for everyone to have a restful night, after a tough day. Grief is exhausting!

[Sholl1955]

Hello all. Stopping by to let you know that you were in my thoughts a lot today. I know it was a tough day for everyone. SHANNON: I think that you are doing well for being so new in your loss. Dealing with grief and little ones in grief is very very hard. And that doesn't take into account the daily needs and care that you do. We are very involved in our granddaughters lives since Sarah died. They are little girls, Becca is 5 and Maddie turns 7 the 12th of December. It is heartbreaking to see them miss their mama, and as with us, it is something they deal with on a regular daily basis., But they also have that wonderful ability to make us smile and even laugh when we least expect it. DEE, you are right It is challenging. I am so glad that little Erica is ok. It is so scary when a child has an allergic reaction. It happens so fast. You feel so helpless. Thanks also for asking about us. My husband and I spent the day just us. Tomorrow evening we will be going with my daughter Rachel and son in law Jason to Jason's mother's house. My heart isn't in it but I think it will be good for my relationship with Rachel, and will help them to have one less place to have to go. Also all of the grandbabies will be there so it will be a crazy fun time. Being home today was ok and I had no problem with it, but, when I awoke I was hit out of the blue with intense grief. I didn't expect it since we got through last year 9 months after Sarah died. I have literally been in tears all day. I never liked to cry and now sometimes there is no controlling it. We had planned to go out to Bob Evans for dinner and to get out of the house a bit, so I got ready and thought I was doing well and half way through dinner, was crying again. So when we got back home I decided I needed to do something to keep busy, so put up a small Christmas tree. I spent a lot of time fluffing it up and decorated it nothing like I normally would. No ornaments with memories, Just pretty ones. It does look nice, but the tears did flow all afternoon too. I have been fighting a cold/flu since last Sunday, which probably adds to it, but I also think Sarah's Birthday is Sunday, and I have been thinking a lot about 35 years ago as we were anticipating her coming into our family, our first born. Saturday there is a party for our little Sierra (Rachel's little girl who will be 3 on the second) and then Rachel's birthday is the 5th and Sarah's Maddie's on the 12th. Way too many special days without Mama, Sister, and Daughter. I really must have still been in a fog state last year because I got through it a lot better last year. Oh how I hate being without her!!! But I do know that we will get past this and move forward again because we have to. I remember when I first came to this site, Dee did promise that things would get better in time. I honestly did not believe it. You get thrown into that deep dark place and it takes such hard work to claw your way up out of it, but we do, then we slide back but there is a point that we realize we aren't sliding as far back . And I believe that the hands from this site that reach out and grab onto ours and hold on, are what helps us continue to work at going forward. We will never ever be the same but we have a lifeline of wonderful people to help us when the bad times come, and I believe there will always be things that cause us to slide backwards for a bit of time. Thank you to all of you for being here. Ok, so I am a real "Chatty Cathy" tonight and wrote a novel,so I had better go for now. Prayers for everyone to have a restful night, after a tough day. Grief is exhausting!

[ericasmom]

Kate, the sprouts are ready for Ross. People who like sprouts liked this dish but they sure were not made the healthy way this time. The pies were good, made more than we needed but whose to say that deserts don't make left-overs that much better? Kate, I so agree, that one photo of Jeff does look like Mike, Carol's Boy.

It was a most lovely day and evening but I am now bushed and going to bed. I will be going downtown in my annual trip to watch the lions receive their wreaths at the Art Institute.

Wade, thanks for including so many photos, my heart is grateful as I watched and cried and smiled too. Such a family of Children, a beautiful family.

[ericasmom]

Oh Sandy, I posted at the same time as you. I am so glad that you feel chatty, it is so nice to catch up with you. Yes, last year the fog of grief was allowing you to move through the times with less anxiety because the grief took up the space all around you and the shock of losing your Girl was still fresh. It is hard but I am glad your tears came and you could just release. Usually when they catch us off our mark, then those are the tears that insist of falling. You do have many birthdays in December and I am sure that on top of the holidays, these are difficult. I think of you often and hope. You have had a very trying time with moving and your husband's difficulties and not seeing the girls as often. But here you are, pressing forward, making plans to go out tomorrow knowing that it will strengthen your connection with Rachel. Good for you plus it will be nice to see the grandkids. I send you love and hugs and a barrel of hope.

Peace one day-

[mybeautifulgirl]

Hello all, I hop into bed each nite and read all your posts and feel I know you all.

It gives me so such comfort to know that you all understand how I am feeling as many do not understand this grief business.

I am unfortunately unable to identify myself due to the complicated family situation I am in but I wish to share my thoughts and sadness.

I lost my beautiful girl in July this year during a medical procedure. It was unexpected even though she was very ill. Years of caring and her sudden loss has left me devastated. She was special to me and vice versa . Her birthday is fast approaching and of course Christmas, oh how she loved Christmas. Like all of us it is going to be a very difficult time to endure. I have lost others in my life but nothing compares with the emotional pain I feel at this time. I miss her so much, the tears are always not far away!

Thinking of you all .