Members Guest Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 Gretchen, the brace looks formidable, but I am sure glad you have it for the days it is needed. Love that Forest photo, so HIM.Lora, I hurt my back long before we knew that Core had another meaning other than the center of the apple. I was 15 when I hurt it first and then hurt it again soon after, then the neck. I have taken walks daily for most of my life and most days two or three walks-it is where I feel most creative and free thinking but also where my back aligns itself best. Tonight the moon is silver and bright. It is reflecting the sun and it is what I hope we here can mimic as best we can: to reflect the light that shines from our Angels,to shed light so that others can find a place in the storm.Goodnight All Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 22, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 Gretchen,I really like to picture of Forest. I'm glad you found new pictures. Lora,I noticed last week (I think it was last week. I have no concept of time at all) that there were Christmas decorations out with the Halloween decorations. Silly. I'm not looking forward to anything Christmas. I'm having a hard enough time with Halloween. Susan,Thank you. I think I can do something like that. You're in my thoughts. I know about issues. Seems never ending sometimes.Wanda,It's good to see you back and see your Lane's smile.Gravastorm,I know what it's like going through this grieving process while having a little one to take care of. I have two Boys, four and fourteen.I'm so tired tonight and always. Even on the nights that I sleep better, I wake up tired and feel drained completely by noon. Today Aiden and I took another 2 hour walk. I was surprised he made it that long but he did and he had fun. I thought we better soak up some sun while we can. The rain and cold moved in shortly after we got home. No matter what I do though, I just feel drained, physically, mentally, emotionally. My brain doesn't work right. My cognitive skill have diminished, I swear. I can't even think of the right word half the time and no focus at all. I'm just tired and waking up to a full blown panic attack at 3 am doesn't help either. I miss my Girl so much. Thinking of everyone tonight. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 22, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 I took some fall pictures of Aiden yesterday. The one with the scarecrow reminded me that I had an almost identical one of Trista in front of our old house so I put them together in a collage. They really do look alike in a lot of ways. I had never really noticed how much before. Now if I can just get Zak to let me take his picture with the scarecrow. ShannonTrista and Aiden Fall Collage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 How he got his name....My Dad went to A&M....when I was young we would go to the games in College Station...then it was small....a real country kind of town....and only boys could go. When we could not go to the game...my parents would make a bed in the back seat of the car with pillows and blankets...and they would ride around the country side listening to the game....for some reason they got better reception on the car radio than the radio in the house....the years were 1956 and 1957....I was 10 and 11 years old. I would listen and hear....'John David Crow'...'John David Crow'......and as young as I was....I vowed that if I ever had a son...I would name him John David.....Later....I met my BEST friend Margaret Ann when I was 12 and she was 18..(there is a good story about that)....anyway....when she was pregnant with her first child she was trying to come up with names...and I told her about me going to name my first born son, John David...she liked that...and she named her son John David.Then....many years after that...I graduated from High School and college..got married and was expecting my first child...she was pregnant with her 4th child...she had 3 older sons....so I told her if I had a girl...(and I really wanted a little girl)...I was going to name her Randa...a name from the book, Gone With the Wind.....she did have a little girl...and named her, Leslie....a name from GWTW.....Then....in 1970....I finally kept my vow I made when I was 11 years old, to name my first born son, John David... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 Love the name story Susan. Love it!Shannon, the exhaustion and the cognitive decline is all part of this grief. I bet if we had had an MRI prior to losing our Child and after, we might see big voids in our current views, showing like a stroke victims might, the damaged areas of our brains. You can't suffer a loss like this without damages...some will repair and some will go all the way away, but both take time. Not to mention the tired that comes with putting on a face and raising two young ones. Extra vitamin C for now to help keep and boost your immune system. We get depleted by grief.Love the photos side by side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 So true Dee....the exhaustion stays and stays....and now I feel as if I have Adult ADHD...splintered and splattered....Shannon...love the photos....two cute little 'goblins' with the Scarecrow...keep getting that boy outside...Mother Nature is the best medicine....she will cover you and yours with her best healing....Sunshine and Sky....little ones have so much energy...good way to run it out of them...you are doing good...you are thinking good, too....your heart is in the right place...broken for sure. Remember...it is your unique journey. When I got on this site...it was Dee that 'gave me directions' for me to drop out...it is so hard to tell the World you 'want off for awhile'.....for as you see...everyone around you keeps going....but I had to learn to say.."Not now, thank you"....or "I am sorry, I will not attend"....and even now...I still don't want to do 'it all'.....who knows....?? There is a big shift within me. Just do whatever you want and you can....and do whatever can bring you and your boys some comfort and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2013 Kate....how are you and your Best Boyfriend doing ? Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Thank you, Susan. We are coping. We woke up this morning to a fine dusting of snow. Oh my, the trees were just lovely. So very beautiful. It really never managed to climb above 4C or 5C. I am thinking of everyone and hoping your day was as good as possible. Carol, tomorrow is the BIG one. World Series. Are you able to go to any of the games? Hope things are improving in your neck of the woods. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Kate....just want you to know that I think of you and Ross....and hope that any comfort can come from someone....like me....so far away...can bring a layer of caring and consideration to your 'world' can make any difference....in that I 'think and pray' for both of you....I do take you both with me in my every...every day life....wishing you blessings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 once again...thank you Laurie.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Missing From the TableWarm lights pour outdoorsFrom the well lit dining room within where they gather-Around a large table,Laughter is heardAnd everyone is smiling-I am a voyeur.And from the wet pavementI walk with my memories-Remembering our warm lights and the clatter of silverware-The faces and the laughterAround our large family –But now a void,an empty chair,She is missing from the table.Pulled up this poem Dee posted a little while ago...feeling this way tonight...I am also including a link I found from Hello from Heaven on signs...there was a conversation on this awhile back...I could not find it though...http://www.near-death.com/experiences/visions01.html#a06Wishing everyone a peaceful evening...Laurie(Hope to hear from Sherry soon...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Just wanted to say thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. As I've said many times, don't know what I would do without all of you. Better day today. Keeping busy at school gets me through the week. Still uploading every picture on here. Gonna make a slide show that will honor our Beloved Children.Laurie,Just thought I'd mention that I was perusing the internet for "stuff" and happened to see a post you made on a Billy Graham site. Just shows how incredibly connected we all are.Going to post more later. Sorry to hear about the weather for some of you. Hate to brag...but it's been in the 70s here in Carson City. Unseasonably warm.Praying for each and every one of you. I don't know how some of you keep track, but I made a list and keep it open on my computer as a reminder so I can continually offer up those prayers.God, in our immense sorrow, please show us the light of your face. Let us see what our loved ones see every day. Let us feel some of that bliss that they feel. Keep us connected through your glory. Hold us close as you hold our Children close. Heal us in all ways so that we may continue to honor our precious children. Amen.Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Kate....just want you to know that I think of you and Ross....and hope that any comfort can come from someone....like me....so far away...can bring a layer of caring and consideration to your 'world' can make any difference....in that I 'think and pray' for both of you....I do take you both with me in my every...every day life....wishing you blessings... Thank you so much Susan... and to all my friends here on this site. Laurie...thank you for once again posting Dee's poem. It sure hits right to the core. Something we all feel in our loss. In truth, I am totally wiped out. It has been a very long few days. The snow has melted as I expected, but it came so early and was an indication of what lies ahead. How I dread winter. Wade...how are you? Just want you to know that we are thinking of you. Our lab is so confused with the snow that arrived this morning. I guess her sense of smell was put off by the snow. She is amazing how she has adjusted to her blindness. What an amazing companion she has become. Asks for nothing but love and consideration. Thinking of everyone this evening and hoping you sleep well. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Hi Gang,Laurie, I am sorry that you are feeling this kind of deep sadness but it is the yin and yang of life, the deep unbridled joy/ the deep well of loss. We ache as we love, deeply. The place you are, that space of time that I remember well on my journey, is terribly lonely. No matter how many are supporting you some days, the fact that we all have to incorporate this sadness in our lives on our own is glaring. Yes, we are lucky that we have support, siblings or spouses/partners that help us just by not putting any time frames on us, but still, we each of us are alone in finding how to carry this loss. You will find your way, you will feel a different kind of strength one day. Promise.Susan, I am glad that I was a benefit to you when you were first here. Yep, I still find that I need to say NO to some invitations. Now it isn't as much that i am in deep grief, it is more that I have learned from grief, that time is precious and I will sometimes need to choose solely for my spirits sake.Kate how was your trip to the city with Ross?We had snow today, the earliest snow appearance around here in 76 years I believe. It was a matter of a few snowflakes falling, we of course had to all go out to the hallway windows to see it today. The kids dreamed of sledding but I tamed their dreams a bit reminding them that the ground is too warm at this point to keep any snow, but who knows, maybe sooner than usual.Sleep tight and dream sweetly- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Ok, I have a problem with 70's in Carson. Definitely NOT fair!!! Give me a break. Enjoy it while you can. I would love to send some of this your way. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 I had such a tough day today. I'm drained in every way possible. I got home from an appointment today and coming in through the garage (I never come in that way. I realized that all the totes that had been brought out to look for pictures and things for Trista's services had been haphazardly stacked in a corner, some without lids. I thought they had been put back in the closet under the stairs where they are supposed to be. Things were getting ruined. I am a saver and have art projects and school papers from Kindergarten through 11th grade. I had special baby things and everything in there. I am not sure who did it but I could guess. I was still in complete shock at that time so I blame myself for not being more aware. Anyway, I spent the entire day going through and cleaning and reorganizing everything. It was very emotional but I feel better knowing that the Kids things are where they should be. One thing I noticed as I was sorting was that in a lot of Trista's drawings of herself she drew herself as an Angel. I always called her my Angel but never really realized how much she drew herself that way. Needless to say... a lot of tears today. Dee, Thank you for your post. It helps to know I'm not just "loosing it". It's all part of Grieving. Thank you so much for all the support you give.Laurie,Thank you for sharing that website and for sharing again Dee's poem. It's so very much how I'm feeling and I'm sure, we all are, with the holidays approaching. And Dee, thank you for sharing your writing and the things you've learned along the way with all of us. Wade, It was good to see your post. I so wish I was having your weather. It's cold and rainy here. Kate, I'm glad it's not quite that cold yet here but I almost would rather have snow than all this rain. Susan,Yes, I'm feeling a shift too. Not just because I can't handle certain things but also a big shift in my priorities, I guess. Some things are just not important anymore. Thinking of everyone tonight. I honestly do not know what I would do without all of you. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Hope you don't mind if I share an very old hymn that spoke to me today:Nearer God to TheeNearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,still all my song shall be,nearer, my God, to thee;nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,darkness be over me, my rest a stone;yet in my dreams I'd benearer, my God, to thee;nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;all that thou sendest me, in mercy given;angels to beckon menearer, my God, to thee;nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!Then, with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise,out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;so by my woes to benearer, my God, to thee;nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,still all my song shall be,nearer, my God, to thee;nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!Sarah F. Adams, 1805-1848 ***********************************Thanks Susan for sharing on the other post....hope it may help others navigate a little bit...**********************************I agree with Kate, it isn't fair.. we have had our wood stove on for the past several days...***********************************************Dee, thanks again for the words that only you can can write, they speak to the heart....***********************************************Wade, yes, that was my post...I was found it interesting that Billy Graham said in his one book on Angels how his dying grandmother saw her husband before she died, he had came back for her...**************************************************Wanda, Barbara, and gravastorm, thinking of you tonight...************************************************Along with Carol, Gretchen, Betsy, Becky, Lora and Colleen...************************************************Shannon, I pm'd you..My husband is very depressed about Jesse today...very depressed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 You know, Laurie, I miss the wood stove. Don't miss getting all the wood, though. Loved the smell. I'll bet Jesse was a beast at getting the wood. And thank you for the hymn. Love singing old hymns at church. They don't do it enough in my opinion. There was a beautiful singer at the Catholic mass on Sunday.Shannon,Ditto on everything you said. You are always in my thoughts. Went to Trista's memorial page and wrote her a note. Hope it's ok if I spend some time there too. Finally a smile to my face when I saw the scarecrow pictures. Sure needed that. I'll have to find the pictures of Renea and Brooks when they dressed up as Drew Carey and Mimi one time. It was always Renea and Brooks who dressed up...missed that opportunity. Although I do remember all the good times going trick or treating with Brooks and his friends when he was younger. Some memories make me smile and some memories make me cry. Wish I knew the difference before...We're going to be ok, Shannon.Sorry Kate about the weather...it will be getting colder though. Love the celsius. We used to only get CBC when I was younger and everything was metric. Always looked forward to Hockey Night in Canada. Stay warm in your heart too. Thinking of you.Susan,That's like the best pic ever. John David...a strong name. And a beautiful story to go along with it. Might be prying here...but did you call him "John David" or just "John"?Lora,Thank you so much for your thoughts. Keeps me going knowing my "new" friends are here with me. Wish it wasn't so for any of us...but I guess I'm over that part. Would love to see more pics of Cara if you're ok with that. Sure smelled the cinnamon pinecones when I went to Walmart last week. Oh, they would be good at Brooks rest place...Picture from today with Brooks...kids came down with Shauna. They seem to be doing ok. Renea and "them" went to Olive Garden afterwards. I stayed and read to him some more. Really the only time I'm at peace...but at least there is some peace.To everyone...you are my safety net...and I pray I might be helpful to you as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Susan,Thank you for sharing the story of John David's name. I was wondering the same thing... Do you call him John David or John? I absolutely love that picture... my heart melted. Wade,Thank you so much for visiting Trista's site. It helps a lot to see people have been there and are remembering or getting to know My Girl through the posts. It is absolutely okay for you to go there. I loved what you wrote. I truly believe that our Angels are dancing and singing together. Thank you for sharing Brooks with us. I'd love to see that picture. Halloween is hard so I'm trying to focus on good and happy memories.Thank you all for everything. For just being here and sharing what you do. I think of everyone daily. You have become such a part of life even though we've never met face to face. Laurie,Thank you for sharing the hymn. It's beautiful. I'm going to look it up so I can hear it. I'm saying a special prayer for you and your husband tonight. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gravastorm Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 I think I'm still too brutal to be very social..I was stripped down to nothing, some may relate, and I have very little to tell me who I was before. I feel like I'm 14 with all the ineptness at interaction that age embodies. Thank you for thinking of me. I wish I could help more with everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Hello to all...it is late (early, actually, at 4:15 am) and sleep is not on my plate tonight for some reason. My weeks have been busy but yet my heart is stalled in the memories stirred even more by the recent passing of my husband's birthday and our son's angelversary, just two days apart. I still so vividly recall the last birthday that our son got to tell his dad "Happy birthday Dad." It is was part of the very few last words he spoke, as he lost his ability to speak that very afternoon. When we brought the cake in for my husband, our son was sitting up in bed, and mouthed the words to join us in the "Happy birthday" song...he was determined to "be there" for the entire event. Two months earlier, at his own birthday, he had promised his dad that he would try very hard to live until at least his dad's birthday, 2 months and 3 weeks hence. He died just two days after his dad's birthday. Our son died in his dad's birth month, and his dad died in our son's birth month. The missing never ends, as we all know. WADE : I don't think I've "spoken" to you since you arrived here...I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, Brooks. Your sorrow and pain are palpable through your written words. This is so new and raw, I am glad you are here, as you have found a soft place to land. "Some memories make me smile and some memories make me cry." I can recall when our son first died, I would say that I was so thankful for the memories that we had, but when I would think of one, it would remind me that there would not be any new ones made with him. I loved your prayer for all of us, and thank you for that. SUSAN: I too read the story of how John David got his name...very special story of a very special man. BARBARA: so very much LOVED your poem "HOPE." Hope is something we cling to, and it has lived in my heart for the day when we do meet again...Someone had sent me a saying "H.O.P.E." "Hold on, pain ends." I can say that I am still holding on, but the pain hasn't ended yet, though it has lessened over time. (it's been 7 years for our son, but just over a year for my husband.) SHANNON: I loved the picture comparison of Trista to Aiden...yes they do look alike. I also loved the Night Before Christmas display...this was one of my son's favorite movies. His wife still hangs the ornaments on her and Damon's (their son, who is 8 now) tree. Little "ghost heads" that they just love. I am glad that you have this for Trista and do hope that you are able to display it this year. I have not been able to watch Trista's video, as my computer is not in good health and I am having to keep it on in "Safe Mode," until I can bring it to the shop. BETSY: So nice to see that pic of Rich...haven't seen it in quite a while. I believe that is the picture you sent for the meeting in Minneapolis for us to put on the picture boards. I was surprised to hear that you've pulled up stakes again, but we must do what we must do. You mentioned being in the Northeast...where? LORA: Thinking of you and your beautiful Cara. Thank you for the warning about the Christmas stuff being out already. It is just too, too soon. BECKY: Thanks for sharing the pictures of Jared's site...you've done a beautiful job in laying it out and decorating it. KATE: You also had some snow...it must be colder up there than here, but we will soon have that same air, as it I scheduled to cool down tomorrow, with the nights into the 30's. As for the RED SOX, oh, yes, we are so excited. Tickets, though, were not an option for the World Series games...we did attend one of the American League Championship games, the one where Davis Ortiz hit the grand slam that tied the score, and led to our eventual winning of that game, and then on to win the series. World Series ticket started at $458 EACH, and that was of course, through a "reseller," and they were for STANDING ROOM ONLY!!! But, as my husband used to say "We see more when we watch it at home." I hope that Ross's last check up was as positive as the one before it. You and he are always in my prayers. LAURIE: I too loved the hymn...thank you for sharing it. DEE: Have meant to tell you what a beautiful little sweetheart that grandgirl is...I know she makes your heart beat and each beat is surrounded with the memory of your own Erz...such a wonderful gift. I hope you don't send any of that snow here...I am so not ready for that yet. We had so much last year it was constant shoveling and digging out. I love the snow, but only for the first couple of days after it arrives. The other day, it was so pretty out and a little on the warm side, so Davis and I took Lucy to the beach for a romp in the sand. Lucy had been to the beach before, but not into the surf. She was so funny to watch, and it was a beautiful day we had, walking in the sand and just drinking in the beautify of the blueness of the sky. I always feel so much closer to my two Mikes when I am at the ocean, and our family has such a history at this particular beach, going back to the late 70's, when we first discovered it and the girls and I used to go with my mom. Then I took my girls and their children, and we all loved it and soaked up the joy of being there. I took some pic of Lucy and a film of her in the water. It wasn't til I got home that I noticed the special addition to the first picture I took of her when we got down to the water...the heart in the sand, by her head. The second is a pic of me and Lucy. When we were leaving and had just brushed all the sand off our feet, I remembered I hadn't written "Two Mikes" in the sand, in a heart. I mentioned it to Davis, but it was too late to go and do it, as I had to pick up Damon from school. I looked out at the beach and "imagined" it there, as if I had done it. As I leaned over to pick up my shoes, which I had put on one of the benches near the car, I saw "someone" had already left a "Mike" there...more permanently than if it were just in the sand, to be taken out by the tide as it rolled back from the beach. You can't quite see it because of the sun, but the "Mike" has a "Y" at the end, kind of set apart a bit (I've highlighted it some so it will show up better). Hubby's name was "Mike" and thus of course, when young Mike was a child, he was always called "Mikey." I love days that end like that. A gift. Always. Love to all and of course you are all in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Carol, lovely to see Mike's gorgeous face this morning. The parallels of the birth and death of your two Mikes is another wonder. Somehow letting us feel and see the deep connections. Of course those boys were with you at the beach. Hearts and Mikey let you see. I am thrilled that Davis joined in. You look so pretty, the ocean becomes you. Just like Trudi, Ocean Sisters.Have a lovely day everyone. It is about 30 out, I came in from a walk adn the moon and stars were glistening on this cold morning. Make wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Carol....you and I are 'Sisters of the morning'....I, too, could not sleep...so I got up at 4 AM...sigh....now I will Zombie my way through the day....sleep is so healing...and when I do sleep I am so refreshed....and have my energy....I guess the restless way my thoughts run during the day...triggers me to wake up. I have never been able to 'nap'...too high strung I was told.Carol....you receive lots of love and messages from your boys...thanks for sharing the photos...where is the beach you go to ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 John David was called John David...never John....in our family, we have many 'male double names'....when he went to high school....many of his friends called him J.D., and they still do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Yes Dee...thanks to you...you gave me my 'pass' to walk my own grief path. And thanks to so many that reached out to me..Lora and so many more...all telling their story...that I wasn't abnormal...or going crazy....I was just 'mourning'....and finding my new normal. Each journey is unique...like our children...and I am so honored that so many will share their 'memories' of the 'little things' or the 'hurting things' and the 'loving things' that is the fabric of the lives. Many share of their knowledge...of what they are learning...and seeking and it helps me as I sit in this new 'classroom' of life....trying to learn my new 'life lesson'. My journey is the hardest thing I have ever had to do...but each of you have given me a hand up. I get a lot of support in just reading the 'how..when..where' your day to day journey is going. I pray for each of you when you get so broken...you are on your knees. I am happy when someone has a break through and can see some sunshine come into their lives again. I am sustained by the common thread of a parent's grief that ties us together. Divided we fall. Each of you answer some 'question' my heart will ask...I send it out to the universe....and someone on this site 'answers' and I get a lot of comfort for it. The poetry and music stay with me as do the photos...I was meant to read...hear...see it all. I know that for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 John David was called John David...never John....in our family, we have many 'male double names'....when he went to high school....many of his friends called him J.D., and they still do...John David, Jesse David, Jared Daniel... all of our "J.D." angels. Gentle, beautiful souls. I woke up in tears this morning. Sleep is something I haven't been able to do enough of lately. I had to take my daughter to the ER last night, she had pains and feeling sick stomach, turned out to be a UTI, but we were there so long, and it hurts me so to be back in that place where we rushed to ID my babyboy, that by the time we were released to go home, I had to stop half way home to throw my guts up. Rainy day today, and much cooler, but I am trying to accomplish something with my day. I cut 2X4's to use to mount to Jared's SLOW DOWN signs, so that solar lights I ordered can be attached to the top sides of the signs, to avoid having to move them every time the grass is cut. I have the four pieces cut and laid out on the garage floor with their first coat of paint. His sign is in the rasta colors he so loved, but this particular color of yellow, "Soft Duckling", spoke to me, as it reminded me of a day when Jared and I were riding home, and a family of ducks were trying to cross the road... I slowed down and flashed lights and beeped at the driver oncoming towards me and the ducks who would be in their path.... they didn't hear me, didn't see me, and didn't see the ducks, plowed right through them, killing about 4 of the babies, feathers flew up in the air, and Jared and I both were sickened at the site of it! I remember saying "what the hell is wrong with people", and Jared saying "oh my God, they just don't care, that's awful". Those images stayed with me for a long long time. When I saw the name of the yellow paint color, I chose it not only to honor my son's memory in the sign asking people to SLOW DOWN, but to honor those 'soft ducklings', and the memory of one of the many times that my son expressed his tender, loving heart. Painted 2X4s. Solar Lights on Porch to get charged up. One of the two 4 foot billboards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 I think I'm still too brutal to be very social..I was stripped down to nothing, some may relate, and I have very little to tell me who I was before. I feel like I'm 14 with all the ineptness at interaction that age embodies. Thank you for thinking of me. I wish I could help more with everyone.There are no expectations here on the bereaved, it is ok to share what you can, when you can or just read the posts if that helps you along...I thought you mentioned your son Alex birthday is soon....if you would like to share his date, we usually recognize the day...*******************************Will post more later today...thinking of you all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Becky....it seems you are always coming up with an idea to make 'it all better'...the solar lights and the yellow color will illuminate the sign for sure at night....and putting them at the top better still....thank you for the story of the ducks....and how your SONshine boy reacted..I hope your daughter is feeling better. Just how many times did I have to go to the ER for UTI's.....then my son, Aaron, the Dr. told me to take two AZO cranberry tablets a day....haven't had one in 4 years. Works wonders. I do feel honored when people share the 'tiny memories'....they are all layered in our hearts...Yes...we do have our J.D.'s on this site....do you think it is a coincident ? Random ? A just because ? I have been aware of 'dates'.....amazing. Gee....I guess we are all just a bunch of 'Sleepless Sisters'.....I hear many of you are already getting snow...here....it was cool this morning...we got a very mild cool front to come in....will get up to 82 today.....when it snows here...they let the schools out.....for it will only last a day.....but this is South Texas.....Laurie...thank you for posting that hymn....one of my favorites.....my Grama's favorite was 'In the Garden'Wade...loved that photo of those girls...Thank God for children...to lift our hearts and put a smile on our tear stained faces....my GRANDchildren have been a balm on my broken heart. Children seem to be closer to the Spirit in so many ways....Betsy...thanks for the photos....never saw any of Rich except his profile photo....all 5 of my boys went through a 'Scruffy Period'.....long hair..beards...I loved it....they were becoming who they were....and they 'tried' on many different ways of walking and being...it is such a natural part of growing up. Shannon....I hope you got everything together and in safe places....I think 'kid art' is the most genuine form of art....maybe Trista was closer to the angels than what you thought...or what we think. When my first GRANDson was born....I felt that he was an 'Old Soul' just looking in his eyes...that I had known him before. He is very much like me.I am going to post a Halloween craft on here....just to give some grandparents/parents an idea to make something that is a memory keeper.....I am now making one for the 14th time for my #14 GRANDson..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Gravastorm....I am so sorry to hear of your loss....and you are right....we are changed in that instant...you or I or anyone....can not go through this storm....and come out the same person. We are finding our 'new normal'....we are trying to find where to put our feet...for the path is dark...and the burden of grief is something we never had to carry before....and we have to learn to feel our way on this journey that has no map. As Laurie said....there are no expectations from anyone...you don't have to post or relate anything...maybe you can read some older posts....that way....you will not feel so alone on your journey....every child is unique....so everyone will walk their own unique grief journey...but the common thread is we 'mourn'....and we are heart broken...heartsick...heartache people. Peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 AMEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Carol, it was good to see your post...I agree with the others, the ocean suits you well, a very nice picture of you and Lucy by the waters...when I read that both Mikes had died in the birthday month of one another, how they share that connection in life and death...it makes one ponder...how things are interwoven in a tapesty unseen...****************************************Susan, I thought the picture of the young John David was so very endearing...and thank you for sharing the story of his name...*****************************************Like what has been said, that there are three J.D.'s here...I do not believe in coincidence either...******************************************Dee, "We ache as we love, deeply. The place you are, that space of time that I remember well on my journey, is terribly lonely. No matter how many are supporting you some days, the fact that we all have to incorporate this sadness in our lives on our own is glaring.That is very much were I am, realizing that I eventually face and incorporate this sadness...I had a hard time even typing that...very much resisting all of this new reality at this point...deep within my psyche I fight it hard....this even came through in a bizarre dream...so I know I am at my limits...*****************************************Shannon, thanks for your prayers...my husband is at a very, very low...I understand the need to keep Trista's special work tenderly cared for....I tend to do the same..Last night, some one called and wanted to buy Jesse's old 3 wheeler at his place...now it is a very "Jesse" kind of machine...it was put together in a way that only he could do...maybe one day I will post a picture...I am sure it will bring a smile to many...my husband initially told the person they could buy it...I told him "No" and to call the person back...I am not ready to let go of certain things...no, I am just not ready...***********************************************Becky, the work on your signs for Jared shines with your love...I understand the significance those projects can take on...I have a few projects like that, I continue to work on them...***********************************************Wade, yes, Jesse loved to collect firewood, the smell of wood burning in the stove...it gives off a very pleasant, soothing heat...****************************************************After I posted the hymn last night, I noticed the author of the words, Sarah, only lived 43 years..."angels to beckon me"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Like many on this site....some of us are in 'Year Two'.....we are on the road...I wasn't where I had been..I'm not where I am going..But I am on my way.2 plus 2 is still not four...Laurie...you may come to a place where you can let 'go' of some of Jesse's things....you may not get to that place for years.....I will assure you...that you will have a 'knowing'....when that place is right for you. There is simply no hurry. some things that use to matter....just seem so small now....don't get me wrong...I don't think I was ever the type of person that thought shallow....but I have 'shifted'...it is still foggy...not clear...How is your husband doing? Daniel hit a slick spot last week-end....I will relate later...Yes...that is one of my favorite photos of him when he was my 'little' boy...thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Has to be something about this dreary cloudy weather that has me in a slump. Not a great day all around. The snow did indeed melt, but they are calling for more coming from up north. The lake is slowly settling down into a stillness. I am trying to decide what to put into the weekly local little paper we have in our area as a memoriam for Jeff in December. Many people here also add a picture and usually a nice poem. We ordered our Christmas Tree for the Memorial Garden at the local hospital. My friend that is just a real sweetheart( delivers the tree himself) has assured me it will be as nice as last year. The nice thing about this garden is that it is situated in an open courtyard that is situated in the middle of the building. All four corners are built around it and the aisles you walk along eventually open up to it. It is a lovely idea and cheerful for both staff and patients. In the summer it is open with water gardens and trees, and planters that have been beautifully arranged by volunteers. At Christmas time they put the tree in the center of the courtyard and it is lit for all to see. After a couple of years it has become known as "Jeff's Tree". I know he would like it. It is so hard to lose someone during the holiday season. The first year I was in a terrible fog. It was only a matter of days after he had died. The second year I managed a bit better. But music was definitely a no go. Any carols or TV shows that reminded me of him sent me into a fit of sobbing. It is getting so much better now. I am planning to buy my two grandies the usual Xmas ornament that they can place on the tree in remembrance of Jeff. By the time they are grown it should be well decorated. I still love Gretchen's MIL's wonderful gesture of making that quilt from Chars clothes. A true labor of love. Carol, it is good to see you. I remember vividly that last period for Ralph as you shared with us much of your daily experience. So difficult. Sending much love and respect for the courage that you displayed at that difficult time. I am definitely pulling for the Red Sox! Will be thinking of you tonight. Yes, the price of the tickets are pretty pricey and you could not have a better place to watch than from the comfort of your own living room. Good luck. Laurie, thanks for posting the hymn. Lovely. Wade...The geese were flying so low today that you could have reached up and grabbed one! Every time I hear a shot gun go off I keep saying to myself that I hope it was an old and bony bird that they can't eat! I am not a fan of hunting. Holding you al close. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Susan, I am sorry that your Daniel was having his grief moments...they just spring upon us...leaving us to work our way through....When stuff like this happens it does make us re-evaluate our priorities...and what was important just doesn't matter anymore to me...******************* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 24, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Becky,I love the color you chose, soft duckling, and the story behind it really touched my heart, adding even more meaning to those signs so lovingly done in Jared's honor. I hope your daughter gets feeling better soon. I understand the feelings around the hospital. Just weeks after Trista's accident, Aiden decided to stick a small piece of plastic up his nose. We had to take him to Children's Hospital to have it removed. I, of course was emotional about what he was going through but then the flashbacks of that night started. By the time it was over I was a mess. Susan,I know those "Old Soul" eyes. I always felt that way about Trista too and have had so many other people use those exact words to describe her. So much I don't understand but yet the feeling that there is more... I just keep searching not even really knowing what it is I am looking for. Laurie,I understand completely about not being ready to part with things that belong to Jesse. I agree that these things need to be done in our own time and there is no limit on that time.Gravastorm,I hope to hear more about your Son as you feel able. As others have said... no expectations here. Post what you want, when you want, whatever you are feeling. Kate,I love what you do with Jeff's tree. I've already been dreading the holidays and wondering how to get through them and be strong for the boys. I think these ways we can honor our Children help. This will be a season of firsts for me and I don't know how it will go but I will take Trista along with me and honor her in all the ways I can. Wade,Thank you for visiting Trista's site. You mentioned rap music. Yes! Trista loves rap music. She loves all kinds of music but would rap all the time. Her and her friends would even write their own. She and Zak would "freestyle" and it was so fun! Zak loves to beatbox and he would do that while Tris would rap. Any time we went on a trip it would just part of it to listen to them all the way to where ever we were going. I can imagine our Kids having so much fun together with their music. Carol,I love the pictures and the messages from both Mikes. How perfect. I love to hear these things. I did put up Trista's display. It's in her room just as it should be and the boys like to go in and see it. I have it all lit up. I'm glad that Mike's wife and son have his ornaments and are able to display them.I haven't been sleeping well either... waking up at awful hours, unable to go back to sleep.Wishes for peace and rest of all and sweet dreams of our Angels.Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Just thought I would post a quick message. This was posted on FB by a friend of Brooks when he was going through his addiction rehab. He apparently wrote this to her as they were both dealing with their addictions. I so love these memories, but I was having a pretty unemotional day, and suddenly this...as much as it brings a smile to my heart...it brings more tears to my eyes. I wouldn't give this memory back for anything now...and feel so proud to be Brooks' dad...but some days I just wish I could ignore everything and pretend to have a normal life once again. I guess that will never happen..."How do you define forever? Do you know where it begins, can you grasp the concept of eternity of life and love without end? What does forever mean to you? What length would you go to discover the meaning, do you ever really believe it? Forever means to me, something indeed very realistic. It begins with one single moment, and a lifetime of being reminiscent trying to find out how you can create the same exact moment that's passed. Some perfect emotion or feeling that's gone, you wish would forever last. It's so hard to do, but it can be done if love's what you're using to guide you. Stay on that path, learn from your mistakes my love. I will be right beside you, don't be afraid and don't lose your hope. If you by chance fall off track I'm always right here and forever I'll love you,I won't let the world have you back."I found this written in my AA book from Brooks Greenlee. This just goes to show what an amazing person he truly was. May he be at peace!!Love you, Brooks, so much... Will see you again tomorrow. Only place I find peace is right by your side...knowing you're just so close.Thoughts and prayers to everyone and fervent hopes for a peaceful and fulfilling day.Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 its late, should go to be soon, but again sleep does not come easy. Sad, hard day today, cried in lane's room, laid on his bed missing him so much today, tonight, always. Hoping for peace, but only finding heartache.Trying as hard as i can to be strong, but feel as though i am getting weaker, and wanting to stay in bed all day.Love you to the moon and back my Lane, missing you so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Wanda, remember that any parent who outlives a Child and still walks, talks, pays bills, makes dinner or even just brushes their teeth each day is quite strong, stronger than any one person ever thought they could be or ever wanted to learn to be. Feeling like staying in bed all day and covers up and no communication with others is a normal phase in this abnormal time. Many do just that if they are financially able. Some of us do better being busy during the day but it is so individual, there is NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE unless it is hurting you or others. Certainly our grief upsets others, but that is not what I mean, to those loving people, let them know that this is a new course and you really need the time and space to find your way. And you will find your way even when you will wonder why bother?Becky, you must have been so frightened with your Daughter's issue in the hospital. Goodness knows that our world rocked as it has been scares us and puts us in panic quite quickly when something upsetting occurs. I do hope she is well now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Wanda, totally understand those sleepless nights…I have found a small lamp with a nightlight bulb that I use which helps me…I do not like total darkness right now…When I go to Jesse’s bedroom it is totally overwhelming to me, so full of him, it makes my soul cry out that I literally feel like my insides are being torn away…I am careful how much time I spend there for right now...***********************************************Kate, your story of Jeff’s tree so touched me…it would so good if more communities would do something like this…to have a memorial place to recognize our loved ones publicly…and I do not think we will have anything to do with Christmas this year other than to buy my two grandchildren some small gifts…it would be just too emotional and would not really give any benefit to our family right now…that’s just our family though……but I do think if there is a community place to recognize lost loved ones, I would do that, which I think I will call about…thanks for the beautiful story of Jeff’s tree and that he is still giving to others…************************************************Lora, your photos of Cara are such a treasure…her beautiful, loving spirit shines through…it has prompted me to find more pictures of Jesse and his friends and add them to his memorial site…but I have to be in a certain mood to do that…I remember the story you shared of a friend who said Cara, in spirit, was there for her boy’s crossing over…I believe that…The new plaque is beautiful..**************************************************Susan, I totally agree that 2 + 2 does not equal 4 anymore in our world...And agree with Lora, It is truly minus 1……I think that others who have not had child loss (and I would never wish this life on anyone) just will not ever understand the magnitude of the loss…for they can go back to their own happy world, and mine is shattered…Thank you for sharing all you do...and I agree, it is an honor to learn more about one another's children...the small stuff is so important to remember as it is the daily fabric of what was our lives....**************************************************Gravastorm…thinking of you today…**************************************************Becky, is your daughter feeling any better today?**************************************************Dee, hope your day goes well, thanks for the healing insights you provide...**************************************************Shannon, were you able to get all of Trista's things stored away properly? This is something I still have to work on for Jesse...**************************************************Wade, “can you grasp the concept of eternity of life and love without end?” …beautifully written…Czeslaw Milosz's poem "Winter"And now I am ready to keep runningWhen the sun rises beyond the borderlands of death.I already see mountain ridges in the heavenly forestWhere, beyond every essence, a new essence awaits.That our love never dies and our children go on in spirit until we meet again, that is what I cling to each and every day…*********************************** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Hello everyone, I have not been on here much in quite a while. But, wanted to share that tomorrow will be a year since our daughter Emily passed. This has been an especially hard week for us. Every day is hard but some days are a little easier. The peace that we have found is in the signs that she is still very much alive in spirit. We have had messages from people about what we did that day, the color of flowers my younger daughter picked that day, the color of dress she had on.I feel her with me at times. We know she is all around us. But, the pain is always there. I try so hard to be positive but the days still come where I cannot talk to others, needing to be left alone to grieve by myself. This week I feel like the first few months when I needed kind words from friends. It felt like they were all just too busy to really lend an ear or to even email and say they are thinking of us. This week feels just like that. I feel the hurt and anger start to grow inside of me. I don't want to feel like that. It seems to me that the new friends who didn't even know Emily but know the pain of loss are the ones that have the kind words. When it comes down to it, the kind words might help just a little but the pain will be just as great. This is the grief journey that only that individual can walk through. Tomorrow My husband, myself, our now 7 year old daughter, our 23 year old daughter, and my parents are all going to the cemetery. We are each going to share some special memories of Emily and release a balloon. My husband and our youngest daughter made a box kite and painted it. If it is windy Hava will fly the kite for Emily. Emily used to listen to a song by a band called Broken Walls--Fly Fly Fly like and Eagle, she would put her arms out and fly around the room. So the kite represents that. Today I thought I would be so busy preparing. But, I have done nothing all day long but sat and cried. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Thank you all so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Emily's MomI will think of you today and tomorrow.The first year is full of shock and dis belief. Not recognizing the world around us. A life without our child. It is ok that you sit and cry. Be kind to yourself.Hope the memories shared tomorrow will bring you some relief.Colleen, Brian's Mom 4 ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Debbie, like Colleen and like Lora, I will be thinking of you as you cross this one year threshold. Many of us felt as you have that week prior to the date that marks such a sad time...unable to get much done, hard to find a focus other than the deep well of sad, and so we lift you up knowing that you will grieve as you must and your family will do the same, all of you in different ways and all of you for the loss of that lovely Emily. Siblings lose the witness to their lives, parents the promise of the future. May you come together tomorrow under spirit filled skies, let the wind take that box-kite up and and up, let the sunlight bounce of of her and send light back to all of you. May you feel Emily in the days and nights that find you aching, and let her presence give you back a bit of your hearts.The photos are very sweet, your Girl is a beautiful young lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Debbie...many on this site knows how the 'count down' to the 'day' your world changed forever...your heart shattered...is so hard to walk. We want to hear about you and how you are doing...and tell us about 'your girl'....please take it one minute at a time...and know we will be holding you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers. It is just so damn hard. Oh yes....10 seconds....there will always be that one small...quiet time in each and every day that no matter how good the day...sunshine streaming down...and I count my blessings many times....that I hit the wall...and say...'I just want him back'....then comes the melt down...then...I say.."It's ok John David..it's ok...I know you wouldn't have left me unless you had to....and I'm ok".....he would not ever want his Mama to be this shattered and broken.I have to say that to my son....I simply have to....for my son, would never, ever...ever...want to see me bent over with sheer grief...and he would never want to be the reason... It seems to be in the 'lesson' I need to learn....that message that is hidden...and I need to uncover...and if I seek...I shall find....many times I have written that the angels that weep....do not weep for our children....No....they weep for us...they hear our cries..our hearts are broken...shattered...they hear us cry out for our children...they see the tears that stream down our faces....they know they cannot console the parents...and ....they weep....for they cannot make us understand....that they are simply home.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Emily, Emily, Emily,May you be close to your mom on this first angelversary...Debbie, thinking of you tonight and tomorrow...praying for comfort from heaven...take extra care of yourself..Such beautiful pictures of your girl...thank you for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Kate,What a wonderful way to remember Jeff. Praying for sunny weather for you up there to brighten your days. I wish I could send you our weather. It does make a difference some days to feel warm sunshine on your face. God, please be with Kate today and through the Holidays. Bless her with some beautiful, sunny days. I pray that you would make "Jeff's Tree" the most spectacular ever to honor his amazing life. Amen.Wanda,So sorry for your heartache yesterday. Sending any strength I have to you. God, please be with Wanda and give her YOUR strength to find peace in this incredibly hard journey. Help her to find those things that will bring a smile to her face and some peace to her heart. Amen.Shannon,It's an honor to visit her site. I love the opening music. So peaceful. I know that our children are singing in heaven every day. God, please bring comfort to Shannon and give her the most peaceful sleep possible. Rejuvinate her and shower her with your amazing love. Amen.Susan and Dee,Your words are always so comforting to me. Even though the days are still so hard, I always get a "lift" when I visit this site and read your words. Whether or not we like it...we are all on that road. God, please continue to bless Susan and Dee and I thank you for them and the comfort they bring me and others. I thank you for Dee and her words of wisdom that we can still continue to live and make headway in our journeys. Help them both continue to feel the love of their beautiful, amazing children, John David and Erica. Amen.Lora,Thank you...thank you...thank you...for the pictures of Cara. It just makes it so much easier for me to look at Brooks' pictures when I see all the beautiful, smiling faces of all of the angels here. And it helps me to share as well. We used to go to the regional Little League World Series in San Bernadino when he was in little league. I have so much video of Brooks' playing ball. I need to get someone to get it off the little cassettes and onto digital. I'm thinking of making a resin cast of one of his baseball gloves to place at his site. Have to buy a few cheap gloves to try it on. We put his favorite glove in the casket, along with his bat, and a ball that was signed by all his little league players when he played. They would have been great friends. Brooks loved his friends so much and always had the best times. Never a dull moment. God, thank you for Lora and her warm heart. Bless her and continue to show her your love and grace as she honors Cara. Amen.Debbie,All of my thoughts will be with you and your family as you honor Emily tomorrow. I will be visiting Brooks, as well, and will tell him about Emily. I looked at the pictures in the gallery and they were so special. Love the green goo one. Must be a beauty mask thing... Her smile is so bright. And then the one where she is kinda hiding in the bushes. Thank you for sharing. I teach 8th grade and she looked about that age in some of the photos. I know she must have been an excellent student. God, a special prayer I ask of you tonight that you would bring grace and love to Debbie and her family tomorrow. Bring a beautiful day with peace as they visit and honor Emily. Amen.Laurie,"can you grasp the concept of eternity of life and love without end" ...Brooks did write some beautiful words. His heart was so good to others. I know that he is now "grasping" the concept of eternal life and love with God. Helps me be a little better with my journey. I understand the night lite. Renea and I have been sleeping downstairs on the couch, where we can watch tv and fall asleep. God, thank you for Laurie and I pray that your love shines on her and would give her peace, especially when she enters Jesse's room. Amen.Colleen, Becky, Laurie, Betty, Kathy, Carol, Barbara, Sharon, Jena, Betsy, Angela, Gravastorm... God, give them all your grace. Be with them in their journeys and show them always how much you love their beautiful children. Bring them peace this day and in the days to come. Amen.And to you my son...my life was full the day you were born and every day since. You made me a better man with your love and caring manner. You helped me see the good in others and how I could make a difference like you. I mourn you continually and miss you every second of every day. There will be a day when the pain lessens, but your memory never will. Right now, I just want you to know that I'm doing ok, even though the pain sears me to the soul. You were my only child, and sometimes I don't know how I can carry on without you, but I do know that you would tell me it's all going to be ok. That you're ok. We had many moments like that. I helped you through your tough times, and now Brooks, I need you so much to help me through mine. Be with mom and I as we approach our first holidays without you. Be with Shauna and the kids in the same way. The tears roll down my cheek right now like a river, but I am not ashamed because they are a testament of my profound love for you. I LOVE YOU SON! BE GOOD...BE SOLID. Dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 ..,. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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