Loss of an Adult Child

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Laurie,

I agree. Thank you. I've been reading these this evening.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

I wish everyone a peaceful evening...and for those who are new...you will find out what a wonderful group of ladies that post on this site...

Dee, I love to hear her stories of Erica and the loving light that was there to take her home;

Sherry, who like me, has had two child losses, Davey and Lisa;

Kate, who so bravely carries on for the love of her son, Jeff, and husband, Ross;

Susan, I love her wisdom tidbits from Grama whom I have adopted in spirit and our son's share the JD initials;

Carol, who has lost her son, husband and beloved sister all too close together;

Becky, who for the love of her son fought so long and hard, also JD initials;

Gretchen, whose son Forest taken too soon;

Lora, her beautiful and generous of spirit daughter Cara, so full of love;

Betsy and her handsome son Rich;

Shannon and her sweet daughter Trista;

for newcomers like Wanda, as I studied the picture of her and her son, Lane, I saw so much happiness between them, it so reminded me of what I shared so deeply with Jesse;

To those who come back and share, Colleen who lost her son Brian too young, Pat, Lori's Mom, thanks for holding our hand; Betty and her son, Stephen; Sandy and all the other daily struggles of life; and Char's Mom, Angela and so many others...

This community has meant so much to me...

honestly it was a crazy grief day, worked a bit more on Jesse's memorial garden at his house, then I got brave and took a few things from his house to the local community store, I managed to take some extra cleaning supplies, silverware and plastics out...screamed for awhile inside his house and had a meltdown...my husband came home tonight after his own cry session, someone pulled out in front of his Suv doing a left turn, cut him off in his own lane, (this is what took Jesse's life, and it seems the Sheriff and Prosecutor of that county is A-okay with that) what IDIOTS cannot figure out to check an oncoming lane before crossing...this prompted another meltdown...

As grieving parents, we have all had some of the above moments...

Hugs to all...

Shanda's Mom, I am sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter...we hear you...

[ericasmom]

Laurie, thanks for the information from the book/author that you like. Thanks for your kind words as well.

Just a very busy day at school, a fine day with beautiful weather. Lovely.

I am off to bed, eyes are slamming now, peace out Gang.

[lovU2themoon]

"Wanda, as I studied the picture of her and her son, Lane, I saw so much happiness between them, it so reminded me of what I shared so deeply with Jesse"

The picture with "laughter" written on it is my daughter and Lane, they too were so very close.

My Lane and i were very close, as you and your Jesse were. its so heartbreaking.

The last couple of days my daughter and i have been struggling so much, we are crying most of the time, i am not sure if the "shock" is wearing off, if we are realizing how completely changed our lives are, how devastated we are as we start to feel our pain. i am just so lost and in so much pain. gawd, i didn't ask for this, we were happily living our lives and now we are all so messed up.

[Mermaid Tears]

thank you God for world so sweet...for birds that sing...for sky of blue....

for wonderful friends that come to me....and pick me up...when I cannot stand...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Thinking of everyone and sending wishes for a peaceful day.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IN DELAWARE:

Currently, if the driver of a commercial vehicle is involved in a serious injury/fatal crash, they are immediately subjected to a blood test to determine whether or not they are under the influence of any drug or alcohol, whereas, a non-commercial driver would have to fall In the category of ‘probable cause’ before a demand can be made to test for DUI??

There is NO OPEN CONTAINER LAW!!

Currently, you can be involved in a crash that seriously injures/kills someone, and be found to have an open container of alcohol in your vehicle, or prescription drugs in your vehicle, & If you don’t outwardly appear to be under the influence, such as wreaking of alcohol, or stumbling, slurring words, etc., then chances are you won’t be tested for impairment!

DE NEEDS CHANGE!!

[Mermaid Tears]

Right On Becky....

Hang In There Shannon....you are thinking good...your mind is sound....but the exhaustion that comes with the heavy...heavy burden of grief is on your plate....but you are aware of it all....and that will be your foundation. More Later.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IN DELAWARE:

Currently, if the driver of a commercial vehicle is involved in a serious injury/fatal crash, they are immediately subjected to a blood test to determine whether or not they are under the influence of any drug or alcohol, whereas, a non-commercial driver would have to fall In the category of ‘probable cause’ before a demand can be made to test for DUI??

There is NO OPEN CONTAINER LAW!!

Currently, you can be involved in a crash that seriously injures/kills someone, and be found to have an open container of alcohol in your vehicle, or prescription drugs in your vehicle, & If you don’t outwardly appear to be under the influence, such as wreaking of alcohol, or stumbling, slurring words, etc., then chances are you won’t be tested for impairment!

DE NEEDS CHANGE!!

We have had the same...the sheriff's department never completed any type of drug testing on the driver who ran over my son head on in his own lane...they also prematurely released information regarding my son accusing him of contributing to the accident which was totally proven false by my reconstructionist...

So Becky, partly because of what I saw happen to you, I called my Attorney General's Office today...the crime victim right's hotline and talked to someone there...I think it was very uncomfortable for her...she said after hearing my story, the person who intakes these kinds of complaints is gone until next week, and I will definitely be following up...

If I do not get some type of reasonable results besides the "we are going to ignore you until the statutes of limitations is up" and file your case in the file folder after "Z", I will take my case public...I am sure that the people of that county and statewide if I can, that they would love to know how their tax dollars are spent to supposedly protect innocent citizens in cases of crime...

[ShandasMom]

We have had the same...the sheriff's department never completed any type of drug testing on the driver who ran over my son head on in his own lane...they also prematurely released information regarding my son accusing him of contributing to the accident which was totally proven false by my reconstructionist...

So Becky, partly because of what I saw happen to you, I called my Attorney General's Office today...the crime victim right's hotline and talked to someone there...I think it was very uncomfortable for her...she said after hearing my story, the person who intakes these kinds of complaints is gone until next week, and I will definitely be following up...

If I do not get some type of reasonable results besides the "we are going to ignore you until the statutes of limitations is up" and file your case in the file folder after "Z", I will take my case public...I am sure that the people of that county and statewide if I can, that they would love to know how their tax dollars are spent to supposedly protect innocent citizens in cases of crime...

UNBELIEVABLE --- that so many people are fighting for the truth in the name of their lost one like I am. Even when there is 3000+ pounds of steel involved parents are fighting for the truth! Good for you! Good for you! "I" am fighting because the PD screwed up my daughter's investigation. I have NOTHING to prove that she did it herself or it was part of a murderous scheme because the police gave up even before it was started! Where does that leave me? Give up? You can't fight "CIty Hall"???? What shall I do? I have an agenda, but I am so tired...sooo tired of fighting.

I can't sleep, I can't eat, sometimes I think that I am losing my mind = crazy. I am going to confront the PD and my Ombudsmen's Office told me there is a Statue of Limitations so now - on top of everything else I feel like I have to work against some "timeline"... I am a mess. Don't know how to get over it. Maybe I'll have some giant revelation and just give up - let Go and let God they say...How do you do that? HE can't help me get to the truth?

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

To everyone still looking for answers or still fighting for justice or change... My heart is with you all. Thank you for sharing your stories because they do give me strength.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Realizing you are really all alone in this world is such a hard thing. Knowing you always have the love of your children does help. I'm sorry if my post is sad. I don't have anywhere else to go with it. Thinking of everyone tonight.

Shannon

[lovU2themoon]

Realizing you are really all alone in this world is such a hard thing. Knowing you always have the love of your children does help. I'm sorry if my post is sad. I don't have anywhere else to go with it. Thinking of everyone tonight.

Shannon

Thinking of you Shannon and sending much love, our grief runs so deep, and we are so hurt, i cant offer much but my distance hugs prayers and thoughts. This is the most painful journey i have every had to be on.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Thank you, Wanda. I know you are going through so much yourself. Thank you. It does help to know you're in someone's thoughts. I think of you and your family daily too.

Shannon

[Guest]

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[Mermaid Tears]

Lora....you said it for true....I still feel like I am sitting in a classroom....trying to learn a lesson...but I just can't understand what is being taught...and 2 plus 2 is not 4....I am on another kind of learning curve. On my best days...I am still not 'the girl I used to be'....so have to learn 'the girl I am now'......parts of my personality are waking up to this 'new normal'....but most parts are still in the past when he was with me. I just don't believe that even death can separate John David from his Mama.

[Jeff's Mom]

Thinking of all of you and wishing you a peaceful day. Off to a yoga class. Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...I have never tried yoga....but all the people that I know that practice it...it is so good for them...have been thinking of you....my friend has been at M.D. Anderson now for over a month with her husband...he is getting stem cell treatment....it is a hard day to day existence...prayers for you and your husband.

[Jeff's Mom]

Thanks, yes it is a very difficult road to walk. Each day can bring both good and bad. The yoga class this morning was wonderful. It felt great to be able to just block out and do some relaxing breathing and stretching. At least for an hour I can put the worries of the world on hold. I simply can not believe how quickly the leaves have changed and are falling. It is such a beautiful time of the year. Today we are finally having some much needed actual rain. Apart from a sprinkle or two at night it has been very dry this year. Our farmers have had bumper crops. I am thinking of everyone and hoping that your day gives you some degree of peace and happiness. Love, Kate

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Shannon, it is such a lonely journey but hang on, it does get more manageable. The ups and down will be farther apart. I try to live my life, since the beginning of my loss of Cara, by what I think she would want me to do. You are in my thoughts.

Thank you, Lori. Yes, it is so lonely. All I really want is my Girl. I have no real ups yet but the lows are so so low. I could not sleep much at all last night so I started writing a letter to Trista. It helped. I'm going to keep a journal of "Letters to Trista". I'm just trying to figure out who I'm supposed to become now without my daughter, my first born, my best friend here with me. I've been Trista's Mom since I was 19 years old. I will always be Trista's Mom but now everything is changed. I'm changed. This is so so hard.

Kate,

My doctor suggested yoga and meditation for me to help with my panic/anxiety. I've started meditation classes. I haven't started the yoga yet. Thank you for sharing how helpful it is.

Susan,

I just don't believe that even death can separate John David from his Mama.

I don't believe this either. I believe I will always have Trista near me.

I took Aiden and my Grandma on a picnic at Trista's site. We ate and talked and took a walk. It is a beautiful fall day and it was peaceful there. Just us.

Wishing a peaceful day to all.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

I saw this online today on a facebook page for grief. It's very inspirational.

http://youtu.be/-WB64xIofug

[Mermaid Tears]

I saw that interview and will buy the book...she was on another show on PBS...amazing story...

Shannon....I just want you to know that when I was married to my first husband...the same scenes were around me...my husband was 'really messing up'....and then his Mom turned on me...I was living in Mississippi and my family was all in Texas...I had 3 children and 5 registered Quarter horses to take care of....when I say the 'fine family' abandoned me...it was worse...I could write a whole soap opera that would span years about it all.....and I lost my Grama..Essie....such a black pit....I call those 2 years ..'the years when no new music came in'.....but now....dealing with the loss of a child...and all you are going through...I had a walk in the park....but....I can empathize...and relate on some levels...

I am sorta a zombie today for I woke up at 4....I guess grief triggers a complete upset to our sleep patterns...I guess the deep stress keeps our nervous systems all out of whack...our bodies cry out for sleep but our minds are running at full speed...my Dr. told me that stress is what causes my panic attacks....I don't have as many now as when I first lost him....

Do whatever it takes to get your stress down...exercise will help a lot....does your Grama live close by....?

The picnic sounded like something we all should do....and little boys thrive in the fresh air and sunshine....so do little Mommies....

[ShandasMom]

I read all your responses - ALL of them and I find I am in the exact same place. Most people (other people without a loss) tells me it will "get better", well I would like to know when that will be? I feel like it is getting worse.... sometimes by the minute, and certainly by the day.

Does anyone have any advice on where you can turn your thoughts when you wake up in the night? I used to think of running water when I couldn't sleep, but since my daughter's death was drowning I can't possibly think of that any more... When she first died, I thought of an upside down black triangle, and tried to picture that in my mind and then focus on it. I know that sounds silly and I don't know wherever I came up with that idea. It worked for a while, but it doesn't now.

One time, several years ago, I had a very painful breakup with a significant other. I was told in order to not continually think of him and the loss to SCREAM the alphabet in your head. I have not tried that, but am wondering what others do when their thoughts turn to their loss children?

Maybe mine is a tiny bit different (not to take away from anyone else's loss), but my daughter's death was so tragic and so unanswered...no clear reason what or how it happened. I ran across a YouTube video that some local yocal had put together of the day her body was discovered and now all I can see in my mind is the one screen shot of several uniformed police officers standing around and two of them were laughing. (can you believe it? how painful that is?) omigosh... It was right by some giant roadside reflectors and that image is ingrained in my mind when I wake up at night...

Any advice would be appreciated....

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Susan,

Thank you for sharing that with me. I see so many pieces of my story in yours. I know I can handle this. I have to. I can take whatever happens and move forward. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that during the time of losing your Grama Essie. Yes, I could write a soap opera too.

I do feel sorry for myself sometimes, thinking why... But it is what it is. I have to take care of me. I have to stay strong for my boys and honor Trista by doing what would make her proud.

My Grandma does not live close. She's an hour and a half away but she has decided, given all I'm dealing with right now, that she is going to come down every week as she did before and stay a couple of days with me. I told her she does not have to do that but she is a very insistent woman and I admit I am happy to have her.

I feel like a zombie a lot, too. I need to sleep... want to sleep but yes, it's hard to stop my mind from spinning. I try to picture my Trista and fall asleep with that image. I think Dee had suggested that once and it really does help. Last night was the first I tried writing to her and it helped a lot.

The picnic was very peaceful. It's amazing what a little sunshine and fresh air can do.

Thank you again for sharing with me. It really helps.

Shannon

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon, thank you for posting the video of the cancer survivor. We are as prepared as we can be for the appt. tomorrow. I have said my prayers and am confident that God will take us down the path that is meant to be. I have also had a chat with Jeff and a few other friends on the other side that have held me up in times past. As to the question of what to focus on when having trouble sleeping...I can only recommend trying yoga deep breathing and meditating on something lovely and peaceful. Such as at yoga this morning I imagined a beautiful setting of green pasture and a lovely winding river in the distance. Then as I started to walk towards the river Jeff came towards me from over a hill and walked up to me and we hugged. It felt so real. I have done this since he died. He gives me such a feeling of warmth and peace. Hang in there everyone. Hold on to the love, as it never dies. Love to all, Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...I didn't realize the appt. was tomorrow...I am calling my sister to have you both put on her Prayer List....we are all miles and miles apart...but close in heart....I love the story about you and your Jeff...stay in peace...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Mary, Shanda’s Mom, it is hard to find justice in this world…may you find some answers that you seek by pursuing the truth….thank you for sharing about your daughter…I am sorry the officers on the scene were so callous…

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Lora, I think of you too…I am glad you wrote, “It gives me great comfort, that Cara is not alone and surrounded by Jesse and all of these wonderful children.” It was what I needed to hear this morning…

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Susan, “......parts of my personality are waking up to this 'new normal'....but most parts are still in the past when he was with me”

Most of me remains frozen in that time...the part of me that is awake, does not want to be…

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Kate, have been praying for you and Ross today, as I know the results come in tomorrow…

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Shannon, the video you posted was very inspirational…it helps me to hear that…also how comforting that your Grandma is coming down and visiting you…

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Thinking of those today who visit this forum…this is going to be a short post, I am in a low place right now…

[Mermaid Tears]

For those seeking justice....

I am getting in touch with my family.....

we have footprints in Austin....

am going to 'research and ask questions'....

it will take time...

but...it just seems that 'all' on this site....seems to have the same 'wall' against them...

am wondering why...(me)

am questioning why this seems to happen all over...(once again me)

there seems to be a blanket over it all....(once again me)

and I am wondering...'if there is one...there is some'.....(once again..just me)

just innocent questions....just a wondering the 'why'....

this will not be answered in just a few days...

but I will let everyone know what I have learned...

I may not have any answered questions...but worth shining a light on....

[ericasmom]

Hi wonderful People,

I am sorry that my school frenzy has taken me so far from this site. I am seriously tired after a day and sometimes just sit or take a couple of walks to get my center back. Tonight we took John's uncle to dinner, it was a nice dinner with him. We will watch Project Runway in a few minutes, my addiction. I have been very tired at night and so when I normally would come to post before bedtime, I often find my eyes slamming and needing to be in bed. Once I sat here at my desk and fell asleep, hilarious.

When I have insomnia, which I do have quite often, though not last night and it felt glorious to sleep deeply... I pray. I lay in bed with eyes open in order for them to get tired by forcing them open, adn I picture the photos you post of your Children and I pray for each of you often falling asleep before getting through the list. I also pray for my sisters and nieces and nephews( and my nephews daughter who was taken by the mom) and my Son and Wife and Child. I pray for students that I am particularly concerned with and those prayers with eyes open usually rock me to sleep because prayers are like music, they are the music from our hearts. If they don't help me fall back to sleep, the light goes on and I read, always making sure that I am in a book that I love. Early on however, I wrote when I woke up, talking to Erica on the pages of my journal. But that was a long while ago and now I am older and less inclined to write in the middle of the night, so I read until my eyes simply slam shut. And if they don't I have someone elses story in my head and that keeps me less involved in my own worries.

I have yet to listen to the videos of your Sweet Daughter Mary. I will this weekend when I have a little wiggle room.

Kate, prayers and great hope, great care. I love what you envisioned during yoga today.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thanks Susan for thinking of us...it has just been an all around crappy day for me...I will just say it like it is...I miss my son, my chest hurts, I think I am losing my mind, and I just can't imagine a future without him...it is just overwhelming...

I feel like I no longer belong to the land of the living...I don't fit in anywhere...this hurt burns all the way through my soul...I don't think anyone wants that spoiling their day...I don't want to rain on anyone else...

The way he died is so disturbing to me...my son was so good to people...he cared for the forgotten, listened to their stories, helped others even when he did not have hardly any finances himself but still he gave...I do not understand why, why did he get the short straw...and that I could not be there for him when this occurred...

************************

Just saw your post Dee, nice to see you...

[lovU2themoon]

"I feel like I no longer belong to the land of the living...I don't fit in anywhere...this hurt burns all the way through my soul...I don't think anyone wants that spoiling their day...I don't want to rain on anyone else...

The way he died is so disturbing to me...my son was so good to people...he cared for the forgotten, listened to their stories, helped others even when he did not have hardly any finances himself but still he gave...I do not understand why, why did he get the short straw...and that I could not be there for him when this occurred..."

Laurie, i feel the same way, i feel like i no longer belong the the land of the living, i don't fit, i am lost without being Lane's mom, he still needed me, to make sure he got up in time for the bus for school, i still made his lunch, (sometimes he would make mine) and yes the hurt is all the way down to my soul. i ache so bad, i to question why? Lane never hurt anyone, he was a good kid, always going the extra mile to help out his teachers and classmates and he was just a good kid.

i had to talk to my counselor about the accident because i replay it in my mind over and over again, she has me replace the image with a happy thought or picture of Lane, its a struggle but if i don't the accident is going to drive me crazy, because i cant stop it.

This is a living nightmare.

[ericasmom]

WE have our feet in two worlds when we lose our Child/Children. Every one of our systems is changed, including our belief systems. Let yourselves grieve is my best advice, trying to put it off is only going to make grieving harder, we need the time and freedom to grieve and without that, we are made to live without the natural reaction to this incredibly difficult life-changer. It simply will not work. IF folks don't allow for your sadness, you may need to let go of those folks for now. I had to let go of folks due to that same reason.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thanks Dee, for the encouragement...

Kate, definitely praying today...I know the test results come in....

[shorty16]

Lane's Mom and other Newbies,

Yes, we are living a nightmare. Yes, it is hard.

My Brian died on 6-19-2008 while car-surfing. He was on the hood of a moving car. Our family also died that day.

But we have risen from the ashes and I can honestly say, we have again become a family unit. 5 minus 1 still equals 5 in my book (new math).

Getting back into a world you no longer recognize is the hardest thing. Everything we thought, hoped, dreamed and worked for is now changed.

In the beginning, grief has its way with you. There is no light. As time goes on..a small pin-point of light will apear in the form of not thinking of your son's death every second. That little pin-point of light will get bigger as time goes on.

We have walked this journey for 5 years. It does get easier, but will never go away.

Sending my love and hugs to all of you as we make our way in this foreign land.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Jeff's Mom]

We just now returned from the city. The news was wonderful. They have decided to suspend the chemo treatments because of the severe allergic reaction and that they could not take the chance of another one. They are going to follow up with regular blood work and check ups. A colonoscopy and endoscope. The CT scan came back "really good". Our prayers were answered!!!!Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers. Thank you, God ...and thanks my boy!!!

[ericasmom]

Wonderful news Kate, I am so glad for you both. A glass of wine perhaps and some deep sleep.

Hi Col, nice to see Brian's smile today.

[daveydow1]

Hello to all Indigos.......I haven't been on BI due to sooooo much trouble

with computer viruses......still not resolved, and very erratic, so I'll try

to get a post done. I've been 'down'... ....yesterday was David's birthday,

and for some reason, it hit me hard.....perhaps even more than his Angel

Day....not sure why that would be, but know that some of my BI friends

have said the same. Husband and I took a little day trip,

and it was nice. I'm sorry for the newbies here, and for your loss. I pray

for peace for each one.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[lovU2themoon]

Colleen, it seems so painful, i cant imagine feeling like this for another day, how do i make 5 year?,I hate going to sleep and then having to wake up with the pain all over again

i am crying most of the time, the pain in my chest is unbearable at times,

How do i get through the days, i am already wishing my life away to see my Lane, cause i miss him so much.

I feel so lost with out him.

[Guest]

.

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...many on this site will be just like me....

Prayers of gratitude...

I feel as if I have been 'with' you....and I hope you feel 'all' of us, too....

Hold hands...and have a cup of peace and comfort...

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....so glad it is Friday and you get to have that 'wiggle room'.....did you send the photo of the 'football princess' and I missed it....?

[Jeff's Mom]

Thank you so much everyone! You have no idea how worried I was this past while. I certainly appreciate your support. To those of you that are new to this journey. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you will hold on to the fact that in time you will again begin to feel a degree of happiness and live your life again. It takes ages to find ground and start to rebuild... you can do it. Take whatever time you need and do not let others force you into a time frame. We are all different. Be good to yourself and try to eat and take good care of yourself. At the beginning it will not seem as if you want to. The only way through this is right through it. Like walking on hot coals. Sherry, my friend...sending hugs and hoping for a nicer tomorrow. All the best to everyone. Kate

[ShandasMom]

How long do you have to be a member of this site until people reach out to you specifically? Right now I am feeling like you need to be a major or significant contributor to this site before anyone acknowledges your individual pain. I have posted numerous things, but all the posts I see are written to others, that have perhaps been here for a while...

What did I do wrong in joining this site to be not noticed? Not given support? Just overlooked?

I am wondering....?

[ericasmom]

Susan, I tried to post that adorable photo but will need husband to resize it because the folder it is in won't allow that. Darn it, it won't allow it for me that is. Tech-less Woman.

Sherry, I am sorry that I missed David's birthday. I just simply don't keep a list, just rely on the dates on our posts. Hey, there is no telling what triggers the really down days even this far out of our initial grief. Perhaps his age and that it is this many birthdays past. You needn't a reason, being a Momma who has had to grieve a Child is reason. I will send some hope your way Dear. Keep in mind, Davey's birthday comes when the autumn is all around, the putting away of things outdoors, that strong sense of being inside more and the darkness that is edging out the light...

[lovU2themoon]

Shandasmom, i am sure no one intentionally over looked your post, some are so much better at addressing others grief, I am so new, i allow the ones who have been on the journey longer give advise, sometimes just reading thru past post gives me comfort at the people who have traveled the journey and i hope to learn form their heartache.

because is still cant see past my own heartbreak and i struggle each day

i still am in so much pain.

i know when i first came on board, i did look thru alot of past post for support from those who had been here for a long time.

You might find comfort in that too

i sometimes post just because i know someone on the other end is reading and has felt my pain.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

I am wondering....?

Please don't worry about this...there has been a lot of posts lately...sometimes the ones here longer put out something that is meant to be read by everyone...it is a larger community... alot of chatter...and just by reading what other people put out there helps you to see what milestones are out there for you...how they are coping with various aspects of their grief...etc...

There are many who read but do not necessarily post...but you are still on their minds....

HUGS to you...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

IF folks don't allow for your sadness, you may need to let go of those folks for now. I had to let go of folks due to that same reason.

Boy did this ever come true just tonight...my daughter comes home tonight and tells me what one of my long-term "friends" said tonight...

I took her with me the day Jesse died, do I ever regret this!!

My daughter that works at Walmart (as a cashier) and told me my "friend" came through her line tonight...asks my daughter if I plan on finishing my degree, to which my daughter said no...that I have no interest in that anymore...

Then, this now ex-friend says, "When is she going to start living her life again????"

This woman was with me in the room with Jesse's deceased body...I should have never brought her with...I am so angry with her..

What really is over the top is that this woman, who attended my church for years, was so convinced that she had a "little more of the truth than most" ...boy is she so full of crap...

[ericasmom]

Mary, I am sorry that you are feeling that members here are not tending to you, but I know that I have read many posts directed to you about the videos you made and about welcoming you into the group. I remember welcoming you to the group, Charlotte's Mom too, Susan, Kate, Shannon, Laurie, many. I posted that I was not able to yet look at the videos due to the busy busy times at school, and when I look back to a page before this, I see that Laurie I think it is, thanked you for sharing your Daughter's story and acknowledged your pain. I also wrote about what I do when I am having insomnia, wrote it last night I think, in response to your asking what folks do when they cannot sleep. I did not use your name however, sometimes I can't hang on to names especially at bedtime. I think that this happens to folks who first come here because you are in such huge pain and you want responses right away but there are responses perhaps to others and it might feel like avoidance, but I assure you it is not. We are a big group, some of us here for the better part of 10 years mainly because we want to make sure that everyone gets a hand up as we did when we were Newbies.

[wgreenlee]

Just wanted to say hi. Not sure what to do. Everyone has gone home and my wife and I are now by ourselves. Wish family could have stayed longer...

[Guest]

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