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Any Muslims here grieving?


Mummy247

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I'm a Muslim young woman who lost my mother 13 days ago. I have so many questions. I do not want to go to an Imam. I've been ferociously googling for answers. There are so many different perspectives on what happens 'in between'. I guess I'm looking for a first-hand personal account from someone with an Islamic background as myself.

Thanks.

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Mummy247,

I am very sorry about the loss of your mother.I am not Islamic, but you are more than welcome to post your questions. Perhaps someone else will know the answers or be able to direct you to the right ones for you.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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salam alaikum mummy247

I am sorry for your loss, I cant imagine how you must be feeling at the moment - my parents are (thank god) both still alive - but old and with health issues and the knowledge that I may lose one of them any time, combined with the fact that they are not - as we christians put it - saved - distresses me greatly. I really cant imagine how I will cope with the loss of either. I pray for them both often but still worry.

Unfortunately, for you, I am not a Muslim either, I am a christian.but have known some very intelligent, wise and caring Muslim people (ironically one of the things which finally helped me become a christian was a comment a wonderful and very insightful Muslim lady made about god). I believe the god I worship is the same god that muslim people worship and seek to know better. I personally feel strongly that the Muslim people are very dear to god and very much on his mind and heart. By that I mean not just that I logically think this, but that any time I think of Muslim people or pray for them, I very quickly experience the presence of the holy spirit and the overpowering sense of love that comes with gods spirit. So to me, it really feels like god has a very special plan and place for muslim people.

I was wondering what your questions were? I am going to take a guess that they are about whether your mother went after she died, and maybe there are some unanswered questions about where she stood with god at the time she passed. I could be totally wrong - thats just what I am pretty sure I would be desperate to find out in your situation.

So while I obviously cant comment from a muslim perspective, I would say that if you have any concerns about where she stood with god at the time she died, or maybe you felt there were things she needed to resolve with god that she (as far as you know) did not, have you considered the fact that your mother may have made her peace with god in ways you are not aware of?

By that I mean that I believe that it is probably true that some people may, when dying, lose consciousness, but be unconscious for some time before they completely die and leave their physical body. Who is to say what may happen in that time, and what encounters a person may have with god in their spiritual body which their family and friends simply have no awareness of.

So regardless of what your fears are with regard to your mother and where she will spend eternity, at the end of the day, you will never be able to say 100% for sure, until your own time comes. And thus, you can also never completely lose hope that anything that she needed to resolve with god, was not resolved - because there is always the possibility that it was resolved in that time between losing consciousness and actually physically dying.

Another thing I have found very helpful when I have very important questions for god, is to ask him straight out then just flick through my bible (for you, the Qur'an obviously) until it falls open at a page that feels right, then look at the left or right page of the two open - again whichever feels ' right' and see what the passage says.

Have you tried that, if not, if you can do that without breaking any laws of islam (not an expert as i said but i cant think of any that it would break) please do try. At the end of the day it sounds as though you have questions about god, so why not ask the only one who can give you the true answer?

If you try this and on your first attempt the passage you end up at does not seem very meaningful and relevant within a few lines, read a little more, and if still nothing is really strongly feeling like god is speaking to you through the verse - , then try again.

For me, from day one as a christian, doing that in most cases left me staring in joy and amazement at a verse that was so totally specific to my question that I just knew it was because god was answering me. That happened over and over. And while I will be honest and say that as a Christian I do feel that the Islamic faith is missing the biggest and most important point, I also feel that the loving god we both worship, will hear your prayers and will show you a passage which answers your prayers and needs if you ask him and keep asking him till it happens.

If you decide to try this and you find any answers or peace with it, I would urge you to also ask god to show you outright what the difference is between islam and christianity, and to make it clear to you which is the truth. Hopefully there is a way you can honestly ask god to reveal this to you which will not be offensive to your muslim faith. I am sure if you do this, that god will answer you (might not be straight away but he will answer) and when he does your answer will be given in a way that leaves no doubt for you of the truth. <--- but dont worry about that at the moment - just ask god in a way which is consistent with your faith, to help you with the answers you need about your mother.

I pray god will show you the answer to your questions, and that with that you will also find some measure of comfort and peace and that you wont take offence from my post - if I have offended you, it was definitely not intended

god bless

It would also be great to hear back from you (not just me but i am sure others who posted or will post) if you find the answers you are seeking

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