hate moving forward

[naty0123]

I miss him so much!! I look for him everywhere! Everyday is so gloomy. I try to think of positive things but its so hard. I cant get him off my mind, not evan for a second. I wake up every morning wanting him close to me just to hear him laugh or say something silly. Life sucks without him!! Im hateing it so bad, i just want him and nothing more...i have all of his things where he left them..i walk around emotionless...time gwts hardee for me cause its more reality, that ill never hear him again!! I wish god would make me forget so that i can move forward since that is what i have to do. Who can move on when our hearts are stuck on our love ones.. Crying is my new norm..everyday!!

[widower2]

I'm so sorry - posts like this strike me for obvious reasons, but also because I'm frustrated that I don't have some brilliant insight or "trick" or way to help you move through this terrible time of your life, but some things which can help are leaning in whatever way you can and are willing with family/friends (and whatever way they are able/willing too), grief counseling if you are willing to try, and keeping busy (that one is hard for me sometimes because I don't feel like doing a @#$ thing). I guess that and just know there are those of us who can relate, generally speaking, to what you're going through and "get it" and are willing to listen any time. My thoughts and prayers to you.....

[mgilbertson]

Moving forward is what we try to do but every time I think I may be I fall backwards again. I also wake up every morning with such sadness that I must face another day without my husband. The emptiness I feel is unbearable at times. I try to find some pleasure in life but its not working very well. I never thought I would be in this place. I pray everyday for strength and peace of mind for all of us during this long journey.

[dsmurph]

Crying is my new norm too. I'm sorry for your loss. Just know that you are not alone. I experienced a few things after Emily passed that let me know there is way more to our afterlife than I ever thought. I want to suggest a book called Embraced By The Light. by Betty J. Eadie. This book helped me so much in understanding what happens when we pass. Peace and love to you, Debbie

[GoldenAnniversary]

I am new to this forum, lost my husband of being together 55 years, 51 of those years we were married. Never realized it before, but I hate those words, "Till death do we part".

I cry every day, and didn't know it would be like this. I feel alone, insecure and afraid.

Whenever I leave my house, to go to the store, church or am driving somewhere, I feel anxious and just want to return to my home. I feel better when I am at home, not so anxious.

A few days ago, I was sleeping and woke up because I heard him call my name, it was his voice, and I felt better for awhile, I wish I could hear it again.

I only had one dream about him, which is strange because I think about him all the time. You would think, that when someone or something is on your mind, you would dream about it more often. In my dream I was being delt a hand of cards, and noticed he was looking over to see my hand, I turned and said, "why are you watching my cards", and he just smiled. Realty is, I don't play cards, but when I woke up right after the dream, I felt he was trying to tell me, he will be watching to see what the world deals out to me.

[dsmurph]

I know how you feel. Everytime I drive any distance I find myself crying nonstop. I make myself go to a couple of friends' houses when they ask. One friend I feel alot better afterwards, one friend I spend the whole time wishing I was home. I'm glad that you did dream about him. I believe he did speak to you through your dream. Part of me longs to feel Emily like I did but, only if she is ok and where whe should be. Which I know she is. I miss her so much. I had a hard day yesterday but, today seems like it might be a little harder. all we can do right now is get through each moment, each day. Do what you feel you can handle. For me, I naturally don't want to do alot of the things I do. But I make myself because I know it is good for me, alot of times I do it for my 6 year old. I don't want her to suffer because I am. I hope you continue to have dreams and hear him, if that is what you desire. I also hope , in time, it gets easier for all of us who hurt from our losses.